"Please stop!" I screamed desperately, raising my tiny hooves to stifle the blow.
“No, that's not right,” I thought. “These hooves… are they really mine?”
My meager attempt to protect myself failed as the stallion swatted me to the floor. He stood over me, laughing at my suffering. I hate him.
No, she hates him. She wants to kill him. She thinks about it all the time. Not me; I'm not her. She's gone, just a memory. She is her; I and me. I must remember. I have to remember it's a nightmare, not real. I am me. I am me. I am me. The foals are not me. They are gone.
He had me pinned now. I had to mentally distract myself. I could feel his grubby hooves groping all over my body, his hot breath on my face as he ran his tongue slowly up the side of my cheek while I squirmed beneath him. He knew it sickened me and it only made him laugh harder.
There was no mistaking what was to come next. I was powerless, fighting two battles at once, one for my mind and one for my body, and I was losing both of them. I gritted my teeth, holding back my rage, knowing what will happen if I try to attack.
“Just take it,” the unfamiliar part of me said. “Take it and I'll survive. If I survive, I win. If I win, I can escape.”
No, no. Those are my host's thoughts, not mine. I am me. I am me. My sister put me here. She's a monster. She has to let me out sooner or later. She can't just keep me in this awful place forever. She looked at me with such hatred and disgust. Then she trapped me here. She's a monster…
No… no, Moon is the monster, Nightmare Moon. I… I… I… What's the monster? No, I did the right thing. Why can't they understand? I’ve ruled benevolently for a thousand years and now they question my methods and cast me out. They did not know of the true cruelty offset by my actions. They are the monsters, ignorant and ungrateful.
I turned my head to the side, watching as the other foals were tortured around me and the sounds of their cries assaulted my ears. I couldn’t cry anymore. I'd run out of tears.
I barely feel anything when he comes to my cage and plays with me. I just want to die. I don't care about winning or surviving anymore. I just want it to end but I know it won't. He won't let it. He'll never tire of my broken body and the screams I make. I'm his toy and he is my master and a good master takes care of all his toys. Maybe, maybe if I just obey him, he will treat me better and everything will be okay…
NO! I banged my head against the floor, attempting to snap myself out of it. Something hard prodded me between the legs but I was so frazzled, I didn’t care about the stallion trying to find his way inside me.
“That is not me. I am me. I am me,” I kept repeating in my head. “I am me. Must distract myself. Must keep the dream, the thoughts out. That psycho. The book said that if too much positivity leeches into the world, it attracts evil, destructive monsters to bring balance with pain and suffering. With love comes hate, hope with despair. There is progress, then destruction and rebuilding. We build on the bodies of ponies or upon their hopes... Betrayal… Revenge… Forgiveness… Friendship... Friend... No, no, friendship is not magic. It’s lies and poison. It can only take you so far. I need more. Cannot be the only bonds that have not been broken. Stagnation is…”
Just as I felt my loins begin to split in two, I was yanked from the nightmare.
I opened my eyes with a start to see a shrouded pony standing before me in a hooded jacket. Panting, I looked about my surroundings in confusion. I was on a bed in a well-furnished cabin, likely somewhere secluded.
I tried to stand but felt immediate pain through my whole body. My head was swimming and I collapsed back onto the bed. Fresh panic ran through my mind as I remembered the fight with my sister. I remembered the horror and the disappointment on my student’s face. I remembered the treachery. I remembered all the torture of the dreams I was ensnared in. I remembered who I was: Celestia, the monster, the hero, the ruler.
Silently, with as much dignity as I could muster, I laid back down before the hooded figure.
My eyes rolled over the sleeping princess, her pristine white coat only marred by the marks around her hooves and legs. The sole flaw on her perfect alicorn body were reminders of her tragic ordeal.
I had asked the medics to look over the wounds. They told me the fur might regrow but I knew those marks will never fully heal and it brought me pleasure to know that. It was exquisite to see her face as she squirmed in agony, to witness her whimpering in unmatchable pain and fear as she relived all of those memories.
I made no attempt to quell her confusion. I could have awakened her right then… but I did not. The agony that she exuded was just too intoxicating to resist. I wanted to hurt her. Of course I wanted to hurt her, tear her to pieces… but I couldn't do that either.
"So beautiful," I breathed reverently. Within the quiet cabin, it might as well have been a shout. With the horrible dream I knew she was having, her mind must have desperately latched onto it to awaken her.
She rose with a start, scanning the cabin with the precision and quickness of a trained soldier. But I could see doubt in her eyes. First came the confusion, followed by anger. Then the sadness and finally dignified acceptance before she slowly settled back into her bed to stare me down.
I stared back, not saying a word but simply enjoying her eyes, the eyes that once burned with so much fire, but now smoldered dimly. Inside her, I saw that flame flickering in the wind. I wanted to snuff out that confident resolve so terribly but I knew that flame could never truly go out.
Either way, that wouldn't help me in the long run, so I stared and imagined and fantasized until I was brought out of my reveries by a cough. She tried to speak but it seemed like all the time in her sleep had left her throat parched.
"I see," I nodded. I turned away to retrieve a pitcher of water and poured her a glass, placing it on the table where she stared at it, questioning my small act of kindness. I saw weary hesitation in her before she attempted to use her magic which quickly fizzled out. A weak golden glow enveloped the cup before dissipating. There was obvious confusion on her face before she finally looked up and saw the inhibitor ring fitted on her horn.
Her eyes landed back on me for a few moments more before using her hooves to grasp the cup and bring the water to her lips. It was sloppy at first but, finding a modicum of poise, she still downed the water like a dying mare in the desert.
With both hooves, I guzzled the whole glass in one go and placed it back on the table. The sun shone through the window on my face and I took a moment to bask in the comfort of its magic radiance. It brought me fleeting peace before I opened up my eyes once more to see my cold reality and stew in the knowledge that I was suddenly at the mercy of forces whose intentions were a mystery.
I decided to break the deafening silence myself. "I assume I'm a prisoner here?" I posed, immediately realizing it sounded more like a statement than a question.
The shrouded pony before me let slip a small smile. The expression was unsettling but it also reminded me of something, something that I could not fully remember, an even more disturbing sense of deja vu.
"No, you're not a prisoner," I snorted. "All you are is a victim of circumstance and your crown." I ruminated on that last part, delighting that she went on the attack first.
"Welcome back, princess. You're probably curious about what's been going on for the past couple of years," I mused, tapping my hoof on the table in a 1-2-3 pattern. "Especially all of the wonderful changes your sister has made since your… fall from grace." A memory flashed in my brain but I quickly cast it aside. "There's so much to talk about, but let's start with this…"
With my magic, I yanked a cloth from atop the table to reveal a device that I knew Celestia had never seen before, a wood paneled box with buttons on it. With one hoof, I depressed the power button with a click. A little voice crackled out of the box and we both listened intently to the mare speaking from afar.
Equestrian cities are in an uproar as the assault on Canterlot Castle has the Royal Guard scrambling for answers. Officials say the group claiming responsibility for the attack appear to be a faction of members of the secret society known as “the Circle.”
According to documents obtained by the Royal guard, the Circle maintained a membership of approximately a hundred ponies, half of which remain at large in the wake of the last conviction, related to the bust. Many speculate that the number of ponies involved in the infamous sado-sexual cabal is greater than what is officially known.
Though these rumors remain unconfirmed, the specter of the horrific revelation still hangs over the highest seats in Equestrian government, leading many to question the prestige and legitimacy of Canterlotian nobility and prompting calls for Princess Luna to dissolve the aristocracy altogether.
The structure of our government remains in limbo as Luna pushes forward with a pair of abolition bills despite protests from her own cabinet, many viewing the move as divisive and even a catalyst for civil war. The future of our nation remains uncertain…
The little news segment ended, replaced by soft symphonic music. My heart broke for my country as I heard the devastating news. I spent centuries caring for these ponies. Hearing them tear themselves apart over my choices was too much even for an immortal alicorn's spirit to bear. I looked to my captor, my sorrow suddenly eclipsed as I felt an indescribable rage bloom within me.
"What have you done?" I hissed, venom boiling in the pit of my stomach.
“What have I done?” I scoffed. “Not a thing. This is simply the price we're paying for our peace." My eyes went to the rafters as I put a hoof on my chin. "Or should I say pieces in a couple of months? If Luna has her way and disbands the nobles, they'll rebel against her and there will be blood."
I couldn't help but laugh gleefully in her face, savoring the look on the thousand-year-old alicorn as her anger continued to boil over. “You can't blame anyone else. It was squarely your actions that led to this outcome."
She had no rebuttal as a long silence passed between us.
"Why so quiet?" I shrugged. "Didn't think I would know about the little kiddie pool underneath Cantalot?"
That comment made her squirm. Her ears folded and she turned away.
"It was a necessary evil,” I shot back defiantly. “If I hadn’t allowed it to happen, the balance would have been broken and tragedy would have…" My words trailed off as my mind was flooded with memories of the dreams of tears and the pain and the begging for mercy, mercy that never came for so very many of the Circle’s victims. I swallowed as I felt the sting of the visions subsided again.
“I did the right thing," I concluded weakly.
I had one last chuckle at her anger and her cognitive dissonance before voicing my support. "I do not blame you for the existence of the Circle. I think it was quite necessary. You did nothing wrong on that front. Instead of foolishly attempting to build a perfect world, you went with the smarter option of a stable equilibrium. It's the opposite of what your sister is doing, trying to eradicate all evil from Equestria through radical change and ushering in imbalance."
My temper simmered inside me. I let out a slow, silent breath through my nose, a technique I’d taught Cadance when instructing her how to keep her royal composure.
I thirsted for more information. What had Luna been doing? How was this mysterious stallion involved and what were his true motives? Could he be an ex-member of the Circle as well? I swatted away the swirling cloud of questions to return to .
"What do you want?" I asked bluntly. "You don't want to kill me. You must have broken me out of wherever it was I was being held. If I had to guess, you want me to-”
The shrouded pony raised his hoof to quiet me and I shot him a look that betrayed my annoyance as the music was interrupted by a little jingle and the mare from before returned.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news: In a bombshell book release, acclaimed journalist, Twist Peppermint details previously unknown inner workings of the infamous secret society known as the Circle, including a roster of names of both current and former high-profile members of the Noble Court, famous actors, doctors and other ponies in positions of power. Uh…
The device went quiet as the mare was stunned into silence. She continued in a shaky voice.
I-I cannot believe what I am reading. Twist’s reporting tells that Princess Celestia is actually implicated as an accessory to the Circle’s cruel deeds, claiming that not only did Princess Celestia know about the Circle but that she allowed them to continue operating, uninhibited. There seem to be multiple historical accounts of the Circle rising and falling over centuries…
There came an inordinate quietness over the radio once again.
The mare growled angrily. No, this is not true. That little whore-
The broadcast was immediately cut and a prerecorded standby message played over a jolly little tune. I stared endlessly into the little speaker on the device, praying for comfort but dreading condemnation. I felt numb and the continued silence of my captor was deafening.
I could scarcely draw breath as I shamefully avoided his gaze. I could not bear to see that cruel smile once again. It would bring me to the precipice of losing my composure. My eyes focused on his hooves resting flat on the floor as I finally spoke.
"Why am I here? Why did you rescue me from my punishment? Who are you?"
I knew where Luna had to have put me if she wanted me to be secure and hidden away. Just moments ago, I had a clear itinerary in my head: Escape, return to Canterlot and calm the madness. But that news report changed everything. Freeing myself seemed like a moot point now, perhaps even counterproductive since I could not say for certain how much of my support would evaporate in the coming days.
There will be ponies who won't believe it and there may even be a lot of them. But if Luna confirms those book details, that would be the final blow to my public image. I'd be nothing but a pariah across Equestria, no better than… than Nightmare Moon.
My skin crawled at the thought of being in the same box as that creature. No, it wasn't just my skin, I felt nauseated. My stomach churned and I rolled to the side of the bed and vomited. The contents of my stomach went straight onto the floor. That part was over quick, but I continued heaving for a few minutes before dropping back onto the bed like a rock.
I slowly rolled my head to look into the sunlight again. The sun was the only thing that seemed not to judge me. It would never forsake me. It didn’t care about my status, my power or the moral dilemma of my decisions. It would never refuse to shine its light on me.
I felt the stallion's eyes burrowing into my very soul. Then something fluttered to my face, a kerchief dabbing away the vomit that stained my mouth and my coat. He was so gentle as he cleaned me. His mockery disgusted me. I tried to gather myself before speaking.
"I guess I'm useless to you now. If my sister tells everyone the truth, I'll be ruined. No sane pony will ever associate with me. Even my most loyal of followers would waver in taking me in. I am utterly at your mercy."
I gritted my teeth at the awful realization that for the first time, in almost centuries, I could not defend myself and no one was coming to my rescue. Even the defeat that Queen Chrysalis gave me was not as dismal as how I felt at that moment.
I counted myself lucky. I had seen what no one could ever imagine. The immortal alicorn, the savior of Equestria, mother to every pony, had cracked. Someone who had probably experienced countless battles, taken untold lives by her own volition, lay before me, utterly destroyed.
I had seen a flicker of hope and a desperate weaving of machinations happening behind her eyes, but at hearing of her exposé, it vanished on an icy gale. She, the one who shines the light on so many, would finally be dragged into that very light. Her reputation would be sullied by her inaction as reported by a pony who only saw half the picture. When her sister spoke, every last bit of good she’d done would be meaningless to her subjects. A thousand years of peace, wielding the elements, the benevolent image she’d spent lifetimes fostering; all of it washed away in an instant and it had crushed her. I could only dream of razing an alicorn’s soul so completely.
I honestly wasn't ready for the vomit. It wasn't just a little bit, either. That was actually what surprised me most. How long had it been since she actually ate something? Now it was all over the Pagani flooring, a very expensive cocobolo paneling with a herringbone motif from Prance. The rich prick who made this little hideaway was going to be pissed.
As I finished wiping the sticky bile from her mouth, I saw a hurt mare, one who understood that her life as she knew it was over. She didn't yet know about her former student, Twilight Sparkle, being installed as a check on her sister's power, but even that wouldn't be enough to prevent Equestria from unraveling. I sighed with finality, as I confirmed the futility of it all. I pulled back my hood to reveal most of my face. As Celestia basked in the light, I nudged her head slightly towards me so she could finally look upon me.
I saw a light green stallion with a single green eye peering back at me. His other eye was obscured by a wrap of gauze bandages. The iris I could see was the greenest I had ever beheld; greener than any emerald in my vault. It almost looked fake. But what scared me was not his eyes or his revenant-like visage. It was how familiar he was. I recoiled from his touch, almost slamming against the headboard.
"I know you," I panted. "I have seen you before."
I filed through my memories. It felt so vague, like an old dream. Then it hit me. He was one of the foals I'd seen in the gallery. One of the unfortunate victims of my… policies.
I began to panic, as the most horrifying explanations for his true purpose played out in my mind, but I went to the quiet place in my head, stopped my reeling and put my mask back on.
"So this is about revenge, then," I breathed.
I closed my eyes, waiting for a response but none came. When I opened my eyes again, I was flabbergasted. The stallion wore a trembling smile as if trying to hold back laughter, as if this were all some elaborate prank.
I blinked, confusedly. "Did I say something wrong?"
She surprised me again. I couldn't comprehend what made her think I wanted revenge. Something about it just made me chortle and suddenly, I couldn't hold back the laughter. The princess stared at me like I was a mad pony. Maybe I was, but I was still the one who rescued her. At this stage, revenge felt like such a hollow ideal. There was nothing I could do to her that was worse than what her sister had already done.
I exhaled and wiped a tear from my eye. "Oh no, I'm not interested in revenge. If I really wanted to torture you, I would have just left you as you were. It’s actually more the opposite, princess. I’m going to restore you as leader of Equestria."
“Or If not the leader, then the villain that Equestria needs,” I thought to myself.
I was utterly shocked by all of this. Why in Equestria would a victim of the Circle make it their personal mission to put me back on the throne? Once more, I studied the face of the pony with the burning emerald eyes, at least what I could see of it. I concluded that he must be mad. Years of torture and abuse had scrambled his brains, turning his whole worldview upside down.
Then again… a truly mad pony would not be able to accomplish what he had. Successfully freeing me from my prison required planning and execution with at least a basic level of lucidity.
"Are you insane?" I blinked. "Don't you feel any hatred in your heart for me for my compliance with the Circle? Do you even feel hatred for the ponies who tortured you without end?"
I screwed up my face and shrugged indifferently. "Why would I?"
As a colt, I remember my time in the Circle being pretty boring and what I considered then to be normal. Those are my earliest memories; the ones that set my expectations for life. I’ve always been a part of the Circle.
Today, I understand why I should hate them and that what they were doing was wrong, but since the day I read that book, I could never truly blame them for their actions. My time in the Circle gave me so many opportunities to expand my mind, explore the world and see the void. I came away with a greater understanding of the universe.
"Did you not hear what I said?” I prodded. “I agreed with your point of view. After I read a certain book, the world just made sense to me and I decided that hating those who did such delicious and terrible things to me was a waste of time; it was all just a part of the natural cycle. But I guess it's better to show you what I mean than to just tell you that I understand."
I stretched my hoof toward the princess as it began to glow with a black aura. I touched her horn, flooding her mind with my own memories. She screamed, unprepared for what she was to witness.
My eyes shot open to reveal the same tarnished cage I called my home. “Will today be the day I finally expire,” I wondered callously.
My stomach growled. Three days without food and only a little water left. I licked my parched lips, staring into the little bowl, weighing conservation versus evaporation.
Suddenly, I heard a clacking echoing from down the hall. I barely had enough energy to look up at the mysterious pony in the black hood with the burning green eye.
I'd never seen this pony before. I may be slightly delirious, but I would have remembered somepony like this. He stopped to address me, but his voice was muffled and I couldn’t make it out, even as I watched his lips. It seemed like he was calling out to me. Cel… Cele.. Cele..ste? Tracking his mouth movements seemed to bring my hearing back as his voice became clearer.
“Celestia,” called the pony as it all came back to me. I jumped up like my injuries didn’t exist. My hunger vanished along with the cage around me, and suddenly, I was in a black void.
"I am Celestia,” I responded shakily. “Where are we?” I assumed a combat stance, looking left and right alertly for an enemy even as echoes of the hunger pains lingered in my stomach.
I walked through the dreamscape, feeling at home in the miasma of nightmares and broken dreams. I journeyed through the mists, searching for the memory where Celestia was.
Around me was a forest of fissures; free floating portals in space revealing glimpses into the past. I smiled as I stumbled upon the right tear. I saw young me as a sacrifice of the Circle, starving to death, trapped in a little cage. I had been unable to perform a task given by my master at the time and was placed in timeout for it.
I strode through the wavering opening and saw many foals also trapped in little cells. Some looked at me with fear in their eyes while others wore indifference. I ignored them all, knowing they're nothing but dreams and memories long past. All of these ponies had passed away long ago.
I finally happened upon the pony I was looking for, a pink filly covered in dirt and grime. She was starving and covered in her own urine. Through my sight, this simple illusion could not hide her from me. My eye always sees the truth. Celestia was locked in this foal's body, most likely from Luna's curse. She was being forced to live the experiences of the many sacrifices of the circle.
I looked down at the princess and called her name. She struggled to even look back at me with her confused and hungry eyes. She was begging me for food or mercy. I continued to call her name and suddenly, finally, something sparked inside her.
At hearing her true name, Celestia broke from the illusion, transforming to her true self and springing us both into the void. She was on edge, searching for threats. She looked to me and I smiled back. Then she asked me where we were.
I giggled. "Isn't it obvious?” I swept my hoof, gesturing to the infinite nothingness surrounding us. “We are in the dream world." The look of surprise on her face was priceless.
I shook my head adamantly. “There is no possible way we can be in the dream world. Only my sister has dominion over dreams."
Even as I said those words, I could offer no other explanation and saw my argument dashed apart against the obvious fact. It was indeed the dream world, but in my mind, I could not understand how this child was able to enter here. It would take most ponies half their life to even comprehend the basics of my sister's spell. Not only was this pony able to enter the dream world, he was able to do it as an earth pony, a feat unheard of.
Of course, everyone knows that each pony has their own innate magic to a degree. Earth ponies can easily make any land, even seemingly barren land, fertile. They often possess extreme strength compared to the other races but this one’s abilities flew in the face of all established magical convention. I dug deep to recall all my memories of this stallion, then I felt a hoof on my shoulder.
I felt the dream world begin to shift and quickly placed a hoof on Celestia’s withers.
"Please don’t try to recall any memories,” I murmured. “I don't want to have to look for you again." I slid my hoof off of her. "And anyway, the memories you're trying to access would not show you how I can use magic. You probably already know that I am part of the Dream family. Dark Dream, to be succinct. We’re known for our magic abilities," I declared in put-on haughtiness.
I gave the pony a deadpan look. "You are an earth pony. There is no plausible way for an earth pony to use magic in a non-passive way. Only unicorns and, in the rarest cases, some pegasi can use elemental magic. Your magic matrix isn’t configured for such a thing. Ponies were made to follow the natural laws of magic; at best there are a few genetic anomalies out there."
"Aw, you're going to make me blush… I did not come here to brag about my magical talents. I came to show you something. If you want to have a discussion on magic like you and Twilight used to, we should save that for later."
I turned to lead her away, indulging in the knowledge that those days were gone for her. It satisfied my craving for the moment.
I glared at the stallion but couldn't help but feel, if only for a second, a pang of sadness in my heart for the student I considered to be family, almost closer than even my sister, Luna.
Luna… thinking about her stoked my anger once more. She had betrayed me not once, but twice… Why did I think that? I didn’t think that way before. Luna had betrayed me, but it was Nightmare Moon's fault. It was the balance's fault.
It wasn’t worth agonizing over, I told myself, not right now.
The mysterious pony beckoned me and I followed, because what else was there to do? I even kept my mind clear as he'd suggested.
At first I did not see the landscape change into a dark, dismal room. I only noticed our surroundings when I saw ponies sleeping on the ground. Confused, I glanced at my captor. His lips curled in a subtle smile, a distant look in his eye as if reminiscing about something.
I took a closer look at the ponies and realized what they were… Before I could say a word, the lights flicked on, accompanied by a piercing alarm that made me wince. Most of the ponies slowly rose to their hooves. Some were groggy and annoyed, others had resigned faces and some seemed to refuse to stand up at all, almost like they were done with it all.
That’s when it hit me like a boulder. No. They couldn’t be. He would not be so cruel and monstrous. I looked back to fume at the stallion but he was gone. My eyes landed on a young colt groggily rising with a familiar smile on his face. He’d been sleeping alone in the corner. A fresh bruise adorned his left eye, his light green coat bringing emphasis to the purple and black blotch.
Curious, I called out to the colt, but he didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Boldly, I approached him and tapped a hoof on his shoulder. Strangely, I could feel the small pony but still prompted no response. Before I could try anything else, he turned to me. I was unnerved by his continued smile. His right eye was a less vivid green than it had been before.
I was pulled from the uncanny scene by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I turned to see the full grown mystery stallion beside me.
"It's almost as though you've never been dreamwalking before,” I laughed. “Then again, I guess nightmares created this, so maybe we should call it ‘nightmare walking.’ Wait, do you think your sister would mind if I coined that name? Nightmare? Walking… maybe running. I'll think about it some more."
I scratched my chin with a hoof before returning my attention to Celestia who looked somewhat agitated. "Don't worry, I brought you here to show you something important. This…” I cocked my head to the side. “The cute little me over there. I'll be right with you the whole time."
We shifted our gaze to the smaller pony who happily moved to the showers to wash the grime, dirt and cum off of himself.
I had no real choice but to follow the colt into the bath. He was the first one in, scrubbing off what he probably hoped was just grime and not semen, but I’m sure he knew the truth. He was nothing more than a tool used for pleasure. Even so, he seemed to be happy, smiling and doing a little jig under the water.
He finished washing the vile substances off of him and whistled a tune as he left the showers. He moved toward the hall under the watchful eyes of a pair of faceless guards. He didn't seem to notice them, oblivious or ignoring their snickers, leering and demeaning words. Most of the time, the guards did not even recognize the pony walking down the hallway and seemed to not even notice him moving towards a light at the end of it.
I continued to follow him. The more I watched, the more bruises I found. I also saw scars concealed in places that would go unnoticed by most not giving him a physical exam. His coat hid them well in a natural way.
I recalled a few details about the inner workings of Circle, remembering hearing that one could rent or borrow some of the ponies for a time, or even straight up buy them. I shuddered with disgust, dreading what would come next in this memory. Ownership of another pony was a practice outlawed long ago after the three tribes came together. It was one of the olden practices that I was glad we let go of as a society.
Now was not the time to become distracted. I pulled myself from my musings to focus back on the colt. He walked through the halls with unwarranted confidence. I was absolutely confounded by his unflappable eagerness to work in such a horrid place. He was a cheerful sacrifice and a true believer in the balance.
We walked through a door into a great chamber and I was given the shock of my life. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of foals were chained to the walls in a great gallery. Some had their flanks in the air while others were restrained spread eagle. Still others were chained in even more suggestive poses.
There was a great wailing all throughout the chamber and for a moment I wondered how any of the children could even sleep. It sounded as though the gates of Tartarus had been thrown open, releasing the cries of the damned as they begged for mercy.
I looked down a row of sacrifices pinned to the wall like a collection of butterflies before my eyes rested on the young Dark Dream who sat on a sofa just seemingly enraptured by it all. He stood out starkly against this unimaginable backdrop of horror.
I glanced back at the old Dark Dream with a mix of anger and incredulity. "You're manipulating the dream. You said this was a memory. No foal would react in such a way in this scenario."
The moment I looked into his eye, I knew that it was all true. His smile never faltered as he watched his younger self with almost a sentimental longing. He wasn't manipulating the dream; he was pathological.
I exhaled wistfully, remembering the fun times I'd had here. I turned to the princess and looked her in their eyes. "No, I'm not manipulating this memory. This is exactly how I was back then. To me it was normal and comforting to hear the children moan and scream when they were first put on the wall. It was like a lullaby. Then, witnessing them slowly break alongside me after a couple of weeks of abuse… being unable to move… barely able to speak, not to mention every hole in their bodies being violated while they were trapped in a prone position as if they were nothing more than a utility or a piece of furniture. To a child raised in a world like this, it’s just life."
I sat down on my haunches and sighed dreamily. "There were other children who had happy families; loving parents. But my mother decided to give me to this place in exchange for her own entrance to the Circle. I was told she surrendered me because I was born a simple “mud pony.” It didn't matter what happened to me; I could find purpose serving the true rulers of this universe, you know? The unicorns. She really bought into that unicorn supremacist bullshit. I can show you a memory of her doing such things to me, like the time she stuffed her whole hoof up my-"
"NO!!" I screamed in my Canterlot voice, making the dreamscape tremble under my magical force.
I could not believe what I was hearing. Not only was he a victim of the Circle through his entire foalhood, he'd become a member as well, closing the cycle. I fretted over this inconceivable paradox before hearing the stallion interject with reveries of his own mother’s sexual abuse.
"Oh come on now. If you don't want to hear it, you didn't have to shatter my eardrums." I rubbed my ears trying to stop their ringing. "I don't know why you're feigning such ignorance about what happens in the Circle. You were already trapped in those nightmare realities, living them out from inside the very colts and fillies who were there. You've already seen it all.
“I need you to pull yourself together now, because I'm going to show you some things that will really put you in a tizzy. Watch." I raised a hoof and pointed to the double doors.
I turned to look at the entryway just as the pair of doors swung open. A parade of foals walked in with defeated faces, looking resigned to their fate. It had the air of an execution or a funeral procession. Eyes on the floor, they filed in and spread out. The blank-faced ponies flanked the sides of the room to keep an eye on the group. They continued to push inside, giving young Dark Dream an intentionally wide berth but, as always, he didn’t seem to mind.
Unexpectedly, a scarlet-colored pegasus sat down beside him on the sofa. She regarded the outcast pony with a subdued spitefulness. She turned her head away from him in disgust.
The colt seemed oblivious, off in his own little world, until he opened his mouth. "Oh, Raspberry, it seems like it's going to be another wonderful day," he mused dreamily.
The filly did not acknowledge his comment, but I could see that inside, his words irked her.
"Hmm… I don’t see Cum Drink," continued young Dark Dream with a hint of derisiveness.
The scarlet filly lunged like a coiled viper to come face to face with him, teetering on the edge of her temper. “That's not his name!" she shot back.
Her own angry outburst prompted her to flinch and shrink back in her seat. She looked around, noticing that she’d drawn the attention of at least a couple of guards. Panic shot through her and she froze, waiting in fear.
The guards did not move from their posts. They weren't coming to take her, beat her or whatever it was the guards did. She slowly moved away from Dark Dream and leaned back against the sofa, but he seemed uninterested in disengaging, still giving her the friendly smile he had been giving the whole time. The pegasus pushed down her anger with fear but it was still simmering just under the surface.
"I don't know why you're so upset,” prodded Dark Dream, feigning an obnoxious veneer of innocence. “That's just what all the adults call him."
The filly crossed her forelegs. "I'm not going to play this game."
Dark Dream looked confused for a few seconds before he smiled again. "I have no idea what you're talking about. We both know the games haven't even begun."
A look of relenting finality came over the scarlet-colored unicorn, but the smiling green earth pony was giddy as a filly receiving a note from her crush. He seemed to have moved on from goading her, instead turning his attention to one of the ponies shackled on the wall.
"So, do you want to start now, or wait for the adults to come?” he muttered absently. “You know what will happen if they are not entertained.”
Those words sent a shiver down my spine, but it appeared to do even worse to the pegasus. "No,” she whispered softly. “I would prefer to wait."
Dark dream nodded wordlessly and there were a few moments of silence between them before she spoke up again.
"Why did you fight with Blue Jay? Why did you put him on the wall?"
Dark Dream looked at her for a few seconds before putting his hoof on his chin to think about it. "I did not “fight with” him. He attacked me because he disagreed with his name."
The pegasus began to grind her teeth so hard I thought they might crumble. "What they call him is not his name. You know his name is Blue Jay."
Dark dream raised an eyebrow. "That’s been his nickname since initiation into the gallery. I remember; they forced a tube down his throat and poured gallons of cum down it. He was almost filled to the brim." Dark Dream giggled at the memory but the other pony was not so cheerful.
"That's still not his name. That's what those monsters call him."
Dark dream raised his eyes, apparently indifferent to her words. "Well, like I said," he continued. "I did not ask for him to be put on the wall. He's the one who struck me. It’s his fault he’s on the wall," he said with finality.
"And you know what else?” he continued a few seconds later. “That hit wasn't even meant for me. It was meant for one of our masters. If he'd have landed a blow on him, he would have spent more than a month on the wall."
The smell of sex and despair began to swell in the air. "I feel like something special is going to happen today."
The filly's eyes bulged with fear. "Don't joke about that. When you say stuff like that, something bad always happens."
Dark Dream sank back into the sofa. "All I am saying is how I feel; nothing more and nothing less. Plus, you shouldn't be focused on that. You should be focused on being entertaining enough. You wouldn't want to end up with one of those 'monsters,' as you call them, who likes hurting ponies."
The scarlet pony rolled her eyes. "Thanks so much for your fake concern, but we all know you're on the adult's shit list. You haven't cried, begged for mercy or given them the simple pitiful reaction they want from you and everyone else here. I've overheard the adult ponies whispering about breaking you."
This time, I rolled my eyes.
"You know that's never going to happen,” scoffed young Dark Dream. "You know, if you would just play nice, you could probably leave this place for a couple of days, enjoy that fresh air all you wing birds always talk about."
"And just give up the rest of my dignity?" the filly snorted. "These perverts might take everything else from me, but they won't take that. I'm not obedient like you. It disgusts me when you do everything these freaks say. This is why you sleep in the corner alone."
Dark dream shrugged. "It's better than being tortured, which I don't even mind sometimes, but I'm not interested in ending up like the broken toys I sometimes see the guards throw out. I'm an earth pony. I can take a beating or two. But you other softies are sensitive, at least physically. On top of that, I'm not interested in ending up on the wall like Cum Drink up there." He cocked his head in the direction of the colt in question. The pony on his last day of the wall and whose only sad little wish right now was just to go back into the rotation.
"It's not like I care if I end up on the wall," he continued, "but it's boring most of the time. You see more play in medium security. The guards here give you extra work, if you know what I mean. I prefer to keep my hooves on the ground."
The look of disgust returned to her face. The conversation between these two forsaken foals was as riveting as it was disturbing. Out of the corner of my mouth, I murmured absently to Dark Dream. "For someone who was raised in the circle, you seem to be more intelligent than I would assume you should be.”
I sighed. "I should be offended, but I understand what you mean. The Circle wasn't a school. It's not like they taught me any scholarly lessons. But even in a world where carnal endeavors were all that mattered, my thirst for knowledge was unquenchable. Every chance I had; when I was checked out by my family and when I overheard ponies talk, I tried to learn. I gleaned as much knowledge as I could from wherever I could find it, including the other foals.
“You would not think it, but you could actually learn quite a lot in a place like this if you kept your ears open. These rich pricks will tell you all kinds of secrets when they think you can't make use of them or they think you're nothing but a brainless bimbo slut toy. The pony who told me all about his fraud and sketchy deals never thought I'd find a way out. I could ruin him in a day if I wanted."
The thought made me laugh cruelly. "Sometimes, when I'm bored, I write him a letter and then wait in the dream world for him to go to sleep and have a nightmare about how his secrets will be exposed, and how he'll be torn apart by everypony."
I stared at Dark Dream, almost scrutinizing if he was truly a pony or some kind of Tartarus-born abomination sent to Equestria to make ponies pay for their sins. Back in my idealistic youth, I would have attempted to give him a speech about treating your fellow ponies with respect and forgiveness, but it was clear to me that this pony, if ever truly angered, would not be the forgiving type. Or perhaps his brand of forgiveness was even more cruel than revenge.
I moved to change the subject. "Who is the scarlet pony you are talking to? You seem to be… friendly with her."
“Oh, that’s Raspberry Shine. She was the only pony that really talked to me.” My eyes zeroed in on the tirelessly defiant filly. We both knew the only reason I talked to her was to tell her that her futile rebellion meant nothing down there. She knew like I knew that they could be rid of both of us in an instant, and nopony would shed a tear.
I turned back to Celestia. “Anyway… she, Blue Jay and myself formed a sort of alliance of convenience. Most ponies figured out that if they wanted to avoid the real psychos, they should stick together. A group of three was always the best, usually doing something perverted with each other or going off and offering our service before we were picked randomly. Also, remembering a member’s likes and dislikes will net you repeat customers. But don't be too distracted by the details. We can talk more, after you see what’s next."
I turned back to see something that almost made me lose my lunch... again. In the few seconds we’d been talking, Raspberry had scooted in close to young Dark Dream, sticking her tongue deep into his mouth. Both ponies were young, but it was only then that I saw that this filly was at least a couple of years older than Dark Dream. She looked to be ravenously devouring him, clamping her lips around his and probing her tongue as far it would go. Her hoof snaked down to rub his belly.
Dark Dream had an almost bored look in his eyes or perhaps it was more of a “dead inside” air about him. He was sometimes so difficult to read. Then suddenly, almost as though a switch had been flipped, he reciprocated, deepening their kiss. His eyes flashed with a lusty desire before wrapping his hooves around her flanks and pushing back vigorously with his own tongue.
I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I didn’t know if I could vomit in the dream world, but I didn’t want to find out. My attention returned to the double doors as I noticed adult ponies entering, some already milling about the room, drooling over the foals like wolves in a sheep pen.
The two continued their impassioned performance, building up an audience of prospective customers like skilled carnival barkers. All around me, I could hear the sounds of moaning and sex blossoming. As disgusted as I was at what I was seeing, I did not look away for fear of seeing something worse, though deep inside, I understood that it was an inevitability.
An older stallion gravitated toward the two entangled foals. They stopped to look him over with lusty eyes. The old stallion smiled an almost insidious smile before moving in between both of them. The foals scooted apart to make room for him on the sofa.
Raspberry was the first to strike, leaning against the stallion's side, slowly rubbing his barrel in a tantalizing way and inching ever so closer to the growing excitement further down. "Hello, sir," she greeted. "How can my friend and I help you today?"
Dark Dream moved into position on the opposite side of the stallion, mirroring the provocative actions of his pegasus companion.
"Oh, aren't you two sweet, making sure an old stallion is well taken care of?" He let out a chuckle dripping with eagerness for acting out his darkest fantasies.
"Of course, pops," agreed Dark Dream, nuzzling up under his chin like an affectionate cat. "We love to help out, especially such a well-endowed stallion." He rubbed his cheek on the stallion's shoulder before hunching over to become better acquainted with the space between his legs.
I cringed in repulsion, wishing to avert my gaze to the floor, but I was compelled to watch, ensnared in the same power I felt while inhabiting the bodies of the Circle foals. I began to pant, feeling sudden panic, fearful that I would be dragged back into those nightmares. My throat was dry and my heart racing before a hoof on my shoulder snapped me out of the episode and back to the lurid scene in front of me.
I waved my hoof in front of the princess' face and she blinked. That little panic attack made her miss much of the conversation. She focused back on the show to see young me and Raspberry Shine down on our haunches, licking the old man's cock like a popsicle.
The stallion watched us go to work on him and we returned the stare of lustful desire that we knew he craved. Well… mine was genuine; I enjoyed my work. Raspberry was the actress, faking it to earn us a stronger rapport with our masters.
With a sudden urge to showboat, I stood up to shake my ass in the air, exposing my puckered asshole to the crowd. I could hear the cheering, but also the threats and jeers. They said things like “I'm next,” “Look at that dirty whore,” and “I can't wait to destroy him.”
This particular stallion seemed to be more into fillies. He grabbed Raspberry's head and slowly pushed her mouth down his shaft until her lips slipped over his medial ring. He groaned as he continued to just hold her there.
I took one of his balls in my mouth, massaging the other with my free hoof until I began to hear Raspberry sputter and choke. She was struggling; trying to pull off of him, but he wouldn't let her.
I could see tears forming in her eyes as she fought back her whimpers of discomfort. My eyes flicked over to check in on Celestia and I was pleasantly surprised to see her transfixed in horror with mouth agape.
The older stallion seemed to be enjoying the struggling as the crowd began to chant “Deeper! Deeper!” Young me left my job at the base to move behind my pegasus partner. I gingerly grabbed her by the back of the head and pushed her down softly, driving the stallion's flare further into her gullet. His breathing became shaky as her lips quivered around him and her tongue lashed in protest.
"Breathe through your nose and let me slowly push you down," I whispered in her ear. "Do not let your throat lock up." I looked up to see the stallion’s glazed-over expression and knew we could finish him soon if we did things right.
Raspberry's wriggling began to slow as she started breathing through her nose, allowing the cock to plunge deeper down her throat until she was almost to the base. There came a bombastic cheer from the growing crowd of gawkers and the old pony began to grunt and pant like a dog.
I guided her head back up, or perhaps it would be more apt to say I pulled back on her mane, until only his tip was in her mouth. I didn't let her off but allowed her some relief before pushing her back down in a smooth, slow deepthroat descent.
Receiving little consideration when being penetrated by a pony three times our size was a typical occurrence in the Circle. Nopony seemed to remember or care that we still needed to breathe and our organs needed to go somewhere when they thoughtlessly stuffed their hooves and giant members inside of any and all orifices like they were packing a knapsack for a two-week trip.
As Raspberry slowly grew more comfortable, she began to speed up, looking to try to bring the stallion to climax as soon as possible. The guy was stubborn though, hanging on to savor the filly's mouth for as long as he could. I went back to work, massaging his balls with my hoof. This proved to be the stimulation needed to send him over the edge.
The stallion threw his head back, his mouth open in a strained expression. He placed a hoof on the back of Raspberry's head and pushed her all the way down to his base. He grunted, holding her there while he pumped his load straight down her throat.
Once she'd received every last drop he had in him, he exhaled blissfully and released her. Raspberry lifted her head until the stallion's softening cock slid from her lips with a pop. I leaned into her for another kiss.
Whatever cum that that didn't go straight to her stomach, she passed into my mouth. She knew spitting could land her in trouble, especially if the stallion was one of those psychos who'd make her lick it off the ground. This was a safe way to share the workload. Plus, it was a crowd pleaser.
The two of us parted, a long sticky strand still connecting our lips. I turned to the elated crowd and stuck my tongue out, balancing a frothy white glob of semen in the middle. I swallowed it in an instant before showing them my empty mouth. It felt like the grand finale of a magic show, but in reality it was only the first act of a very long performance.
I climbed back onto the sofa, preparing for our next customer, always keeping a smile on my face. The members dispersed through the room, making their selections. It was only moments later that a well-to-do mare approached us with a twisted smirk on her lips.
For the next hour or so, that was the tempo of our existence. We were face down and ass up. I'd eat out Raspberry or she'd suck me off while a member would hoof themselves off at our exploits or even just have us there doing it for ambiance while they rutted somepony else.
Raspberry had orgasmed early on. Every sound she made afterwards was probably just theatrics. I could tell because her body only shook when it was real.
We attracted newcomers and repeats, some of which I recognized better by their genitals than their faces. Some had specific parameters we needed to meet for their fantasies while others just wanted a pretty hole to deposit their cum inside and be on their way. We serviced almost a dozen ponies in one way or another before they finally let us rest.
"Is it finally over?" asked Celestia, her breath ragged with sorrow and disillusionment.
Raspberry was nearly limp with exhaustion from our outing. Young me helped her onto my back as the action in the room died down and the ponies dispersed.
"It is for now," I murmured, not taking my eyes off of the two foals.
We followed as young me carried Raspberry to the doors across puddles and smears of all manner of bodily fluids. I took her to the showers where I washed the cum and sweat from her feathers and fur while a stone-faced guard watched over us.
I felt Celestia's eyes on me again. "Don't you feel the slightest bit disgusted by what we just witnessed?" she asked wearily.
"Nope," I retorted bluntly. "Not now and not even then. Even if I had the knowledge of the outside world that I do now, I think this still would have been me. I could have had a more wholesome upbringing, but I probably would still have been the same sick, depraved pony I am today. That's nature. Maybe I could have been a better actor, hiding my aberrant behavior behind a mask, but eventually it would have exploded out of me. Or maybe I could have found a substitute in drugs or liquor. But the truth is, I didn't just have this fate thrust upon me through circumstances beyond my control; It's my calling. But I'm still young; I could change my mind," I ended with a skeptical snort.
“You are cynical but wise for your age,” admitted Celestia. “I don't know if that's an asset or a tragedy."
We followed young me as I lugged Raspberry back to the main floor. I was stopped by security on my way in. I knew immediately what this meant. Someone big had ordered my services. My ever-present smile widened. Thankfully I'd already cleaned up. I could meet them right away.
"I guess it's time for me to return to work," I chimed at the guard.
He shot me a look of disgust, or maybe concern about my mental stability. It was rare to see anything but disdain or indifference from their kind. He made an about-face and I followed him through the hall to one of the back rooms, where he held a door open for me.
I laughed weakly when I saw who'd sent for me. "Oh, it's you again. It's good to see you, Doc."
Dark Dream glanced over at me, anticipating a reaction. My mouth had already dropped open at seeing the light gray unicorn with her long white mop of a mane sitting patiently and statue-like on the sofa. I turned to him and we exchanged looks before saying in unison, "Dr. Hecate."
The reserved mare regarded Dark Dream with a blank expression. The guard departed, allowing the door to shut behind the colt who galloped exuberantly around an onyx coffee table to Hecate's side.
"Doc! Doc! Where have you been? It's been…" he cocked his head, thinking, "about three weeks!"
The doctor peered down at him through her glasses with a curious edge. "How do you know it's been three weeks?" she asked flatly.
Without missing a beat, Dark Dream, explained. "Easy. Blue Jay was put on the wall a week ago and that's the last time I was checked out. Tuesdays are when my mom comes to peruse the gallery. I've only seen her two times before then and that was around the last time you checked on me, and that's three weeks!"
The mare's face remained expressionless. She simply nodded curtly in agreement with his logic. "You are correct; it has been a while." She gestured coldly to the cushion beside her and the colt clamored up into the seat.
"Oh, did you bring me one of those puzzles again? Or are you checking me out to go to the lab?"
The doctor settled back into the couch and levitated her book from the table, cracking it open in front of her face.
I looked over the now departed mare. Of all the members of the Circle, she was the worst in my eyes. Illegal experimentation, breaking every ethics rule, and then there was her research into dark magic and other banned practices in her attempts to artificially spur alicorn ascension.
Her papers served as the basis for some of the most powerful spells ever created and her expertise in technomancy was revolutionizing without question. But to the public, she was an enigmatic recluse who did not care for the company of others. Or at least, others of her age group. It was seen as a tragedy when her manor burned down.
I swallowed. "You were being experimented on by-"
"Yes,” I blurted. “Quite regularly. It was a weekly occurrence until she just didn't show up for a while."
I let myself stare a little longer than I probably should have with wistful eyes. "You can say what you want about her,” I began, “but she was amazing. Beyond her great cruelty, she still brought me books. That was how I learned to read and expand my mind, even in this cage. She was responsible for most of my education, even if it was unintended. She hurt me impassively, but she also wanted me to understand why she hurt me. I'm pretty sure my undaunted demeanor is why she found me so interesting. That, and my large pool of magic reserves. Is that interesting? I remember her saying that to me one time."
Celestia frowned. "Yes, I have met the doctor before. She was a genius, but a misguided one. I kept my eye on her with every new project, especially her research into making alicorns. I had a solar knight keeping tabs on her at all times, but results were mixed. She never kept staff and was difficult to grow close to unnoticed.
"You’re here to work," Hecate muttered absently, absorbing into her book.
Whenever she said that, I knew she wasn't here for research. The doctor parted her hind legs, presenting her needy sex. She trailed a hoof down her barrel, stopping between her legs to tease her lower lips apart and reveal the soft pink insides, all the while maintaining her stoic attitude and never breaking sight from the book.
Celestia sat on her haunches near an enchanted fluid-filled panel with continuous bubble trails that slowly changed color. "It's… surprising, I suppose," she mused. “I always thought of her as a cold machine, but it seems even she hadn't transcended her basic carnal instincts."
Young me hopped back down to the floor and plunged my muzzle straight into her pussy, giving it a slow lick from bottom to top where I did a lap around her clit. The doctor sighed and placed a hoof on my head to push me in closer, smothering me in her weeping marehood. She placed a second hoof on my head, securing me in place and cutting off my oxygen. Despite that, I smiled at her inconsiderate version of eagerness.
Hecate kept reading her floating book as I began to grow lightheaded, lapping at her entrance. I didn't struggle; I made out with her pussy for all I was worth. My vision dimmed as my eyes rolled back in my head but my tongue kept at it.
Celestia's expression was one of worry at my predicament, but the doctor and I used to do this all the time… and obviously I'm still here. She didn't kill me with her labia.
Deep breaths and sighs were about as much of a sensual outburst as she'd permit. Thus, it was near impossible to gauge how far I had left to go. My head was being crushed and I felt like I was about to lose consciousness. Finally, she let out a satisfied exhale like someone sipping a cold drink on a hot day and her thighs relaxed.
I'm near certain that she derived at least as much, if not more, pleasure from suffocating me than from my licking and sucking expertise. She fully released me, allowing me to greedily clean up her nethers while she continued reading as if having her mane styled at a hair salon. She viewed addressing her needs as an obligation. It was always a very clinical experience; joyless, efficient, quiet and a time that should be best used multitasking.
The doctor snapped her book shut with finality and rose to her hooves. "Prepare yourself to go," she droned. "I'm checking you out."
I sat for a moment, catching my breath and gathering my thoughts while the doctor spoke to the guard posted just outside the door. She turned back and stared at me expectantly. It was her way of beckoning me. I'd been conditioned by her to just understand her behavior and expectations. The guard escorted us into the hallway just before the memory began to break apart, almost like a movie reel running out of film.
I was startled by our environment suddenly dissolving into a featureless void. Dark Dream outstretched his hoof and twisted it slowly. Almost as if manipulating an invisible object.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
Before his reply, we were suddenly apparated inside of a carriage, sitting next to Dark Dream and the doctor. Young Dark Dream wore a dress with a bow in his mane and a lace choker around his neck. He looked like a completely different pony, pretty and feminine. I raised an eyebrow at the older Dark Dream.
"Don't look at me like that," he shrugged. "She was the one that was into this. I don't think she liked stallions or even colts at all. Probably something to do with her past. I remember hearing her cry in her sleep." He looked back at the mare with a mix of admiration and pity.
"Yes," I sighed. "I remember her having a cruel streak toward stallions in particular. I heard endless complaints about her during her time at my school for gifted unicorns. Highly intelligent; basically a straight-A student. She was hoping to be one of my darling students, but Twilight Sparkle came along and wiped everypony else off of the map.
"After that, something happened in one of her classes. The nobles hid it from me at first, but it coincided with her disappearing for a while. I did not find out what happened until I met her later on in her professional career and we vetted her for a job as a magical scientist at the castle. I rejected her. She persistently kept on applying and I rejected her five more times.
“Meanwhile, she was making a name for herself with her breakthroughs in magics. She'd become such a high-profile researcher, it seemed ludicrous to keep rejecting her application for the castle, so against my better judgment, I finally accepted. I interviewed her myself. It went as well as you would have expected, if you knew her."
Dark Dream let out a chuckle which grew into a hearty guffaw. "Let me guess, that was the day you found out she was a Celestia super-fangirl? If she wasn't talking about her experiments, she was talking about you. I have never met a pony who possibly knew more about you, present company excluded."
A small shiver went up my spine. "Yes… She managed to keep her poker face up to the moment I sat down. Then she exploded with endless questions. I was completely caught off-guard. It felt like I was the one being interviewed. She looked so happy and enthusiastic, I couldn't stop her. I thought maybe it was just her nerves, but eventually, she seemed to realize it was kind of strange, because she looked embarrassed and apologized. Based on what I'd heard, I thought she was a completely humorless, stoic pony. I thought maybe she was putting on an act to secure her hoof in the door, but she seemed so genuinely passionate that I knew it was the real her I was seeing."
I curiously looked out the window to see if there was an outdoor environment. I was a bit shocked to see that there was something outside of the carriage. This was a memory, after all, and that meant that Dark Dream had to remember not only what was inside the carriage, but what was outside, as well. Even more shocking, he had exact details, to the point where I could clearly see the path we were taking through Canterlot.
"My concerns began to arise when I grilled her,” I continued. “For the last question, I asked her about the incident at my school. She looked absolutely horrified. She pretended to not know what I was talking about, but broke when I gave her a stern look.
“At that point, I knew the pony. Rather, I knew what type of pony I was to her. She'd follow my orders to the letter. If I told her to jump off of the edge of Canterlot, she would do backflips in the air as she went to impress me. I don't think it showed in the interview, but I was worried. A pony with this level of obsession was disturbing. If I rejected her to her face, it would destroy her.
“She spent the next two hours telling me her life story and about her parents who were nobles. In my court, I'd witnessed the expectations placed on her and her desperation for universal validation. I feared if I said anything other than 'you are accepted,' she might just jump off one of Canterlot’s cliffs of her own accord.
“I decided to strike a compromise: she could have an apprenticeship under one of my master mages and level one access to the restricted section. I remember how she gushed with happiness at my offer and quite literally bowed down and began to kiss my hooves. It made me feel uncomfortable.
“I picked her up with my magic and gave her a warning in my strictest motherly voice that an incident like what had happened at my school would not be tolerated and the consequences would be far greater if she repeated the same mistake. For the first time in the meeting, she looked genuinely afraid of me. I would prefer ponies to respect me than fear me so I put her down and sent her on her way.”
Dark Dream shot me a knowing smirk. "So how long did it take you to find out what she was doing in her spare time?"
My eyes fell to the floor. "Oh, we knew what she was doing the whole time but… I have to admit that, like Luna and Sunset Shimmer, I misjudged her true motivations and feelings. I let minor progress spiral into major consequences. Another failure in a long list of defeats that the universe has dealt me.
"It came to a point where I knew what was happening and I knew she had joined the Circle. I thought it would be more prudent to just keep her close rather than confront her. It was easy enough to feed her false information for her experiments, but as I said, she was such a reclusive and secretive pony that it was difficult to understand the full gamut of what was happening on the other end. The day she succeeded in her plans, despite my efforts, was a sad day indeed."
"She didn't die there, you know?" murmured Dark Dream watching the younger him busying himself between Hecate's legs again.
My eyes popped open wide incredulously. "What do you mean she didn't die?! Her entire property was-"
My words were cut off as the cart lurched to a stop. The doctor grunted in frustration before kicking Dark Dream off of her.
"Make yourself presentable," she snapped. "I don't want rumors starting."
Dark Dream responded quickly to the orders, straightening his dress while the doctor cleaned his face with magic. The door opened and the two hopped out with us in tow.
We followed them up to a familiar-looking house and Hecate opened the doors with her magic. It was my first time inside her home. The domicile was minimalist and stark as I'd expect. The furnishings and decor were nice, but possessed a strange generic phoniness like that of a home staged for market. It looked too perfect, soulless even.
Young Dark Dream carried himself with a confident familiarity around the house, almost as if he lived there. "Hey doc, what are we doing today?" he asked the stone-faced pony. "Am I helping you with your experimentation or are we going to have fun?" He held an eyebrow aloft but stopped when his question was met with silence. "Aw come on. You're not going to have me clean your house again? It's a waste of money; maids are cheaper."
Hecate halted abruptly and spun back around to face him. "The tests are complete. Today we will begin the procedure."
Dark Dream looked surprised by the wide smile on her face. I'd never seen her so happy.
"My little Dream, you will be the catalyst for such great things. When my experiment succeeds, I can show the results to Celestia and I'll finally be given the recognition I deserve. She will place me ahead of my contemporaries as a scientific virtuoso! We will be true friends and I'll be the chosen one, closer to her and more brilliant than Twilight Sparkle!"
For once, my shocked expression matched that of the young Dark Dream. The obsession and deranged ire toward Twilight was unfathomable.
I groaned. "Oh yeah, that was the other thing she talked about all the time, hating on Twilight Sparkle. Even more than praising you, she voiced her hatred of Twilight and what she would do to her if she was ever given the chance. Once she even made me dress up like her and went to town on me with a bat. Luckily for me, she found out quickly that bringing back damaged products to the Circle will cost you a pretty penny.
“That was also the day she figured out that I had hereditary sensory and autonomic neuropathy type IV with a mixture of a mutation that allowed me to collect and hold large amounts of magic. My passive magic was stronger, though, and my strength, durability and fortitude was also extreme. Not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I could have taken on some of those ponies in the Circle. That is, if I didn't know I would instantly be executed or tortured ‘til I wished for death, but that might be difficult since I can't feel pain."
I stood marinating in this new strange revelation. It was hard to comprehend her deep seated hatred for my star student when I couldn't think of a time when they had ever even met each other. It seemed an undue vendetta based solely on her perception that Twilight had usurped her rightful place at center stage.
Young me regained his composure but had fallen silent, hoping that this would be the end of her tirade. Even though I'd never even seen either of them at this point, I felt like I personally knew Celestia and Twilight just from the doctor's constant raving about them. I knew it was unwise to try to stifle her soapboxing. Even though she couldn't physically beat me anymore, she could inconvenience me or make me do something boring like read the thesaurus again. Who knew there were so many ways to call a pony an asshole?
The two of them stopped in a little alcove in the wall. Hecate placed her hoof in a recess, turning it while her horn glowed. A panel in the wall sank in and slid aside to reveal the secret entrance to her lab. My eyes widened at the sight as I followed the two with burning curiosity.
Dark Dream lazily tailed us down a hall of doors until we were all gathered in a strange operating room where the scent of sanitizer wafted into our nostrils. An operating table sat in the center of the room, enclosed in an elaborate magical seal etched into the floor. Everything was sterile, neat and in order, just like the rest of her house. The area was spacious with a secondary room where one could observe, kind of like an operating theater.
Young Dark Dream fearlessly hopped right on top of the operating table. "Do you want me to take my clothes off?"
Still lost in her own obsessive thoughts, the doctor looked back at him and simply nodded. He easily slipped off his dress. It was as though he'd worn the article a hundred times before. Then the colt simply laid face up on the table in a relaxed position.
The doctor came over and strapped him down; every limb, his barrel and head. He didn't put up any struggle, just waiting there patiently as she began prepping her spells and setting up the machines. Finally, Hecate threw a switch with her magic and there came a great mechanical hum as the machinery powered up and various sigils in the floor began to glow.
"You might want to stand back," advised Dark Dream, walking backwards to the wall.
Confused, I followed his lead and backed away. If it was a memory, surely it couldn't be dangerous to us, I thought. When I looked back, I saw the doctor levitating a vial of glowing pure concentrated mana, a level four restricted magical substance.
"How did she-" My words died in my throat as I watched Hecate fill a syringe with the contraband. Even more alarming, It wasn't clear, it appeared dark to my eyes. When the substance is not contained, it can draw emotional energy from nearby life forms, altering its structure. The change is only detectable to an alicorn. What the doctor was about to administer was pure black. Clearly it was not properly sealed and had been contaminated with negative emotions. Was it on purpose or by accident?
"Please don't tell me…" I breathed, staring at the luminescent black sludge. Hecate set the vial and full syringe on a metal tray while she continued to prep for her experiment. "There's no way she can do this. The- the results would be-"
"A tragedy indeed," supplied Dark Dream. "One little pony tried to break down the door into alicornhood, not knowing that there are easier ways to ascend. As gifted as she was in spellcraft, her mana reservoir was not as vast as Twilight's or even mine. The magic item she needed to increase her power was lost to her. All she had was books and the scattered knowledge of the past. So she did what she did best: try to science her way out of the problem. Too bad for her, it cost both of us in the end."
Hecate filled another syringe with an unknown substance and then cleaned a spot on the colt's flank. She unceremoniously stuck him with the needle, shooting whatever it was into his veins.
"What's that for?" he asked, eying the syringe as it floated away.
"To give you a priapism," answered the doctor simply.
"What's a priapism?"
"Guess you'll find out," she droned.
I gazed down in utter disbelief at the symbols on the floor. The level of dark magic being employed here only existed in the deepest, most protected part of the restricted archive. To even look upon these spells and rituals, you had to be an alicorn or a thaumaturgist on par with Starswirl the Bearded. The spell she was preparing to use was a tribute spell for offering sacrifices, and she was using it on him.
"How did she find this forbidden knowledge?!" I demanded. "She doesn't have clearance for it, she couldn't have stolen it and I refuse to believe she figured it out on her own! The only possible explanation I can think of is that she found a loose grimoire!" I turned to Dark Dream with desperation. "How did she?!" I asked again.
I could feel a weak strain on my body, as if Celestia were attempting to push me away or perhaps grab hold of me, but she couldn’t hold the spell together.
"Maybe you should just continue watching," I suggested flatly. "You’re right that it was a grimoire. I couldn't tell you how she came to acquire it, though. Maybe she found it or she bought it from some shady individual, but however it happened, the fact remains that she had access to it."
Hoping that explanation, or lack of one, would be enough to sate her curiosity for now, I turned back to see that the stage was nearly set.
Inside, I was fuming with frustration at this apparent affront to magic and the natural order. If I wanted answers, I just had to watch. I looked on, wondering what could be going through her mind right then. It was a very dangerous gamble to say the least. Success could come at a steep price. I steeled my nerves, keeping my eyes on the bound Dark Dream who was completely unaware of what was happening. I felt sadness and even guilt that I could barely contain.
The doctor walked briskly past Celestia and I. She brought out another, larger vial and poured it slowly into my mouth. I drank the mild sedative as she eyed my cock. Without any interaction whatsoever, it had come out of its sheath and was now standing as full and tall as physically possible. She pushed against it experimentally with one hoof as if testing if it was stiff enough.
"Know what a priapism is now?" she grumbled.
"I thought that was just called an erection," I shrugged.
She pushed up her glasses with one hoof. "They're different: The latter usually requires foreplay."
Without warning, the doctor climbed up onto the operating table. She stood above me, looking straight down in my eyes with a blank expression. Before I knew what was happening, she straightened my cock with her magical aura and lowered her back end as if preparing to sit on her haunches, planting her pussy on my tip and swallowing my whole length in one fluid motion.
I gasped in surprise as her warm insides enveloped me and her weight pressed me down. We'd never had straight sex before. I was always the one servicing her in some way and I was always the one ordered to facilitate it. I didn't know what to think about this. What did it mean?
She splayed her legs apart and swung them downward, which allowed her to straddle both me and the operating table. Then she planted her hooves on either side of my head and began rocking. There was an incredible heavy rhythmic squeeze between us as our loins collided. Still strapped in place, I could do nothing but simply allow her to help herself to my dick just the way she wanted.
Hecate panted softly as our thighs slapped together. She was looking across the room as if studying a chart on the wall, which was entirely possible.
Within the restraint, I was able to tilt my head just enough to look down my body and see my cock plunging in and out of her marehood, my shaft shining with her fluids, her lips flexing to my contours and her clit engorged and poised prominently at the top, like it was calling out for attention. As if through my own will, the doctor's hoof came down and began rubbing. I looked back up and was surprised to see that her eyes were now on me.
"Tell me when you're about to cum," she ordered flatly.
"Okay," I grunted.
She continued gyrating while she rubbed herself, stabilizing with her free forehoof. My pleasure was building fast, but not fast enough to beat the doctor. I felt her flanks shudder atop me. She let out a sigh and I knew the job I'd started in the carriage was finally finished. She placed her hoof back on the table and returned to riding me with renewed focus.
"I'm- I'm about there." I reported through quivering lips. She gave me three last big thrusts and then curtly pulled off and hopped to the floor. For a moment, I thought she was deliberately trying to blue ball me, but then I felt her magic wrap around my length and suddenly it felt like a million little fingers were buzzing around my shaft, pulsing in tandem to coax me over the edge.
It didn't take long. The feeling, though completely foreign, was effective for the job. My body tensed. I shot streams of hot white cum into the air where it froze in place inside the doctor's magic field.
When I was finished, I felt my cock squeezed tightly from base to tip, coaxing a few more drops out. They floated together with the rest in a singular glob of cum. It stretched into a noodle as it slithered into a floating glass vial. She then whisked it away to a storage locker.
"Why'd you do that?" I panted.
"Just in case," she muttered cryptically, adjusting her glasses again.
Hecate strode over to the metal tray, grabbing the mana syringe in her magic. She stood over Dark Dream and paused, just watching him for several moments. The colt shifted his head to look back at her, confused by her sudden hesitation.
"What's going on, doc? Don't tell me you have cold hooves."
She continued to stare for a long time, lost in thought before she finally smiled back at him. Dark Dream blinked in surprise at the expression, a genuine smile filled with all the care and love a foal his age should have. The juxtaposition of that smile against a backdrop of cold sexual domination was difficult to process. If I didn't know better, I might think them a loving mother and her son.
My face contorted in horror as the doctor plunged the mana needle into his chest and pushed the plunger all the way down. She tossed the empty syringe onto the tray and simply walked away, leaving the ritual circle to make adjustments at the instrument panel.
A droning chant poured from an array of speakers and filled the room. At first, Dark Dream seemed to be completely unaffected, but slowly, I saw a glow begin to come over him. No, from within him. I could see what looked like a map of his circulatory system forming as the mana spread through his body. Every vein glowed brighter, pulsing with the beat of his heart.
Suddenly, the colt let out a deafening scream of pain. My ears folded on themselves, trying to block out the sound of pure agony.
The doctor observed his adverse reaction with a stoic alertness. She looked on, knowing that all of her hopes and dreams were teetering on the viability and fortitude of this one little foal.
Dark Dream struggled against his bonds, but they held tight as his thrashing intensified, his face twisted in torment. The mana seemed almost like white-hot magma. His piercing wails rose up above the chanting. Glowing cracks spread out across the poor colt's body as it began to metamorphosize into something else.
It is my curse as an alicorn to witness lifetimes of tragedy and the darkest horrors that ponies have ever inflicted upon one another, but in my centuries of life, I'd never seen such exquisite torment exacted upon anyone. Even Discord or Sombra's worst never matched this cruelty. Not only was the substance ravaging his whole body, I could see it tearing his soul apart, an unimaginably rending ordeal.
Then the situation worsened, a feat I thought nigh impossible. A small void began growing at the injection site as a swell of rainbow light enveloped him. It disintegrated his being, ripping him apart on a molecular level. Every atom was dislodged and destroyed.
My acute perception allowed me to experience the sundering on an overwhelming level. I felt magic begin to radiate from the void and pour into this room. I couldn't entirely comprehend what was happening, but it felt unnatural and out of control. An eerie, all-powerful light consumed us. It felt like an ancient evil, older than Tartarus itself.
The black hole in Dark Dream's chest swallowed up the rainbow light, growing bigger and bigger. I could see panic now on the doctor's face, but she didn't run. The noise in this room was almost unbearable, nothing but a violent gale of white noise like a prolonged explosion. This sound should have woken up the whole mountain.
Hecate reached out toward the mesmerizing void and then… I blinked and suddenly I could see nothing. I heard nothing. “Is the memory over?” I wondered.
I turned to Dark Dream, desperate for answers. He looked conflicted. He'd halted the dream before I could see what happened. "Wait, what happened?!” I cried. “Why did you stop?! Is this not the whole reason you brought me here?!"
"Celestia, if I show you this, there's no going back." He turned to look me dead in the eyes with his single, piercing green orb. We stared each other down for several silent moments and he seemed to understand my resolve.
The blackness around us rippled, and the next thing I saw was two ponies floating in endless nothingness. Unlike the dreamscape, this place felt different, almost like pure emptiness. It was sterile and cold and felt like a mixture of drowning and falling at the same time. Slow but fast. Down but up.
But then, when I looked below my hooves, I did see something; something truly incredible. Five massive trees sprang up around us. Like gargantuan beacons, they pushed back the darkness, fighting off the nothingness, almost like a protective barrier.
Then I saw it. The darkness, or rather what was concealed within it, revealed itself to be billions, perhaps an infinite multitude of ravenous, wild creatures. They descended, swarming the trees surrounding us, like a shark on a wounded seal. But each one that encroached was obliterated before it could cross the threshold into our space, thwarted by the power of the light.
The space around us was so impenetrable that the darkness could not even dream of touching the halo of light around the trees. Not only was the circle inside the trees protected from these rabid abominations, but the surrounding space as well. As I looked at the trees, I saw a familiar sight. It was the tree of harmony, or something that looked like it. I screwed up my face, unsure, but I'd seen it before. It, like the other trees, was a source of brilliant light.
It was a spectacular site surrounded by unimaginable horrors. For a moment, I became distracted from the main point of my visit. I turned back to young Dark Dream and saw the two ponies slowly falling toward the lit sanctuary.
The denisons of this void became immediately aware of their presence and began to swarm them. Dark Dream seemed almost awake, but his body was limp and his eyes were unfocused. He was completely unaware of the danger he was in.
Just moments later, the doctor's eyes shot open in a panic as she tried to make sense of her surroundings and the advancing hordes. She flailed erratically at the sight of the fearsome abominations but could go nowhere, only continuing her slow descent into the light. She must have realized the safety of the trees because when she saw them, she tried to swim for them.
Quickly realizing that her motions were not remotely propelling her, she tried her magic. Zeroing in on Dark Dream as an anchor, she grabbed him with her magic and pulled, slingshotting herself past and then yanking him along with her. The move succeeded at speeding up their descent slightly.
The creatures stayed in unrelenting pursuit, swarming upon them. The two lost ponies were stranded in a place they were never meant to see, and as a result, were now burdened with a knowledge that they were never meant to know.
The doctor struggled, seeing no escape from the monsters as they closed in for the kill. She looked to Dark Dream and appeared to scream something, but I couldn't hear what it was. The dark void seemed to swallow the poor scientist's last words. Suddenly she kicked the colt with all of her might, sending him plummeting faster toward the light.
The doctor turned to the creatures and cast a shield spell around herself. Dark Dream's unseeing eyes suddenly seemed to spark back to life. Air filled his lungs and he was alive to the world again.
The colt tumbled down below the doctor and reached out his hoof to right himself as he went through the same learning process that she had before and then noticed the wavering barrier surrounding her. The doctor couldn't hold her shield. The spawn of Tartarus seemed to be slowly but surely peeling through its layers and leaving cracks. She strained with extreme concentration to keep it together for as long as she could.
Dark Dream continued struggling to claw his way back to her, but only flailed inertly. Suddenly, a terrible miracle began to happen. A strange light enveloped Dark Dream. His eyes began to glow, his hazel one the brightest as its color changed to a seafoam green.
With a scream, the colt sent out a shockwave of uncontrolled magic that seemed to shake the whole void. The creatures froze immediately, staring at the child whose voice seemed to command the emptiness, bringing sound to a place where it shouldn't exist. The now sedated creatures watched silently as the two approached the light of the trees.
The doctor retained enough presence of mind to latch onto the boy again with her magic as they floated through the dark gauntlet. He stared back at the creatures and then smiled at his client. Then behind her, he saw something of true horror. A single eye, enormous, that seethed with the totality of all hate, hunger and fiery desire. It was massive, almost the size of a moon.
He stared at it with the first emotion he had ever truly felt, a limitless fear, but deep in the back of his mind, he felt an inexplicable sense of belonging and comfort at the sight, even though the creature promised nothing but the worst for him.
The abominations, demons or whatever the creatures were stood still and watched our fall back to the world we knew. But before we could reach the safe embrace of the light, the eldritch aberration struck. It was so fast that no one saw it coming. With a dark tendril, it lashed Hecate in the center of her chest and me in my right eye.
I tried to scream but the void stole my voice. The doc went reeling, her body colliding with mine. I recovered from the blow, intending to check on her, but I couldn't tear my gaze from the great eye. It compelled me to stare straight into it.
All of Tartarus broke loose in the next moment. The sacred light from the trees burst upward towards the eye, obliterating its minions, the abominations, like ashes in the wind. The light stopped abruptly against a wall of darkness but the eye did not stop staring at me. The light wrapped me in its heavenly glow. Its power caressed my body in the most comforting embrace I'd ever felt and pulled me away.
Even as I receded from the eye, I had to watch it until my whole vision flooded with white. Before the last discernable shapes faded from sight, I heard two words: "My child."
The dream broke apart, evaporating into blackness. I stared into the dark, utterly shocked at what I'd just witnessed. I looked for answers in the void as my mind reeled with a billion postulations.
What was most inconceivable was that the other two survived. As the princess of Equestria and keeper of the sun, I'd never seen something so primordial and alien. I'd lost the horizon and I needed time to process.
I turned toward Dark Dream who almost seemed like a dream himself. "Return us to the real world. I have seen enough."
My eyes were lost in the darkness of the dream world somewhere that would have been the sky. Celestia looked up with me to see the eye glaring down upon us and the world.
"Yeah it's time to go," I agreed in almost a whisper before releasing the dream, allowing it to flicker and dissolve away.
I opened my eyes to see Dark Dream with his hoof on my horn before he slowly retracted. I then saw the other ponies who'd surrounded him, solar knights brandishing blades and glowing horns. They were poised to strike at the slightest provocation.
Dark Dream seemed more annoyed by their interruption than scared of the soldiers prepared to dispatch him at any moment. "Didn't I tell you guys to wait outside?" he muttered, simply moving past them to the sofa.
"We don't follow your command," retorted a stallion I recognized as Number Five. Number Seven and Number Eight stood flanking him, ready to back him up if needed.
Dark Dream still looked annoyed. He held up a hoof which glowed with a black aura. "Stop your barking; you're growing tiresome. Just stick to our deal and you might be able to walk out this cabin on all hooves."
After his veiled threat, I could feel a palpable air of bloodlust in the cabin as the two sides itched for an excuse to strike. I needed to intervene before the situation spiraled out of control. I raised my voice to grab their attention. "Knights, secure the perimeter and guard the front door."
They saluted and promptly hopped to their duties, not even questioning the order. Dark Dream lowered his hoof as his eyes flicked back to me. "What a well-trained pack of diamond dogs you have there."
I returned a weary look. "You did not need to agitate my knights."
"They don't have to be so annoying,” I grunted. “They should have some trained military competence without you holding their hooves. They're a bunch of lost puppies that couldn’t tell their hooves from their asses. They’d probably all be dead if I hadn’t stumbled upon them before they could execute what was essentially a suicide mission to rescue you.
“I’ll give them this; they're smarter than the average pony. They ask a lot of questions and don't blindly believe the authorities. Or maybe that’s just because they've always mistrusted Luna and never saw her as their princess." I paused to ruminate on their undying loyalty to Celestia before looking back to her. "My main point is, I'll give them respect as soon as they pull their muscles out of your ass." I let out a small chuckle at my own joke
I scoffed at his crass remark, knowing full well that my knights are the best of the best-trained ponies and always loyal to the crown. I was about to say something in their defense before realizing that Dark Dream was still just a child inside, a child who knew nothing of me or my knights.
"They have made sacrifices to protect all of Equestria,” I glowered. “If anything, you should not mock them because of that."
I turned toward the sun that always brought me comfort in times of tragedy. "I grow tired of playing these games," I grumbled. "Tell me what you really want. You hold all the cards. Try being clear and succinct for once."
The light from the window was orange, clearly the glow of a setting sun. We must have been in that dream state for longer than it seemed. "In my thousands of years, there have only been a few creatures that have been able to lord knowledge over me or match my experience in tragedy."
I began to file through my most shameful failures and lapses of wisdom. There was a time when I was a filly and failed an exam. There was of course the time when I could not save Luna and was forced to banish my own sister to the moon. There was the time I ran away from Equestria, leaving my virgin nation to fend for itself and then coming back to see it blighted by the Circle. There was the failure with my beloved student who decided to run from me.
Then there was my greatest failure, the one that now stood poised to rip my country apart, something that no god of chaos or dark element had managed to do under my reign. It was a devastating blow that came from no enemy but from my family and friends.
What was going to destroy Equestria? Not hate but love. My love for my sister, for my student, for my ponies and my resolve to never let go of any of them. I began to laugh at the irony. “Danu - loyalty. Ceridwen - equity. Taranis - pride. Mannah - acceptance. Balor - magic. Morrigan - faith.”" I recited all the elements I used to control. "Can you believe the Tree of Harmony chose me to represent those?" I breathed. Fast teardrops began to fall from my eyes as I picked over my life to find where it went wrong, all the choices, the consequences and struggles.
I listened patiently to the princess, the poor broken-down alicorn that life seemed to constantly kick to the curb. "Well that's a nice sob story. Maybe you'll fit in with the other children of the Circle after all."
I slid off the sofa and walked over to her. “You wanna cut to the chase? Let’s cut to the chase.” Looking her in the eye, I began to remove my bandaging. I kept my left eye on hers, the one many called 'cursed.' At least, that's what they told me when they looked at it, so that's how I understood it.
"I don't know what's going on, but take hold of yourself. I didn't drag you out of your prison for you to throw yourself a pity party. You are the ruler of Equestria, yes? You are responsible for this country and its well-being, correct?"
I pressed my face against hers. "Because if you look me in my eyes and tell me that you fucked me over… No, that you fucked generations of ponies over because you're nothing more than a self-agrandizing god that loves to watch ponies toil and suffer while standing behind a podium and preaching kindness and love… If that's the case, goddess, queen or other, I will personally reach into your fucking chest, rip out your heart and eat it in front of you.
“What happened to us is not meaningless. If I have to beat it into you to make you believe it with all your fucking heart, then I will. You have sacrificed not only me and the other children of the Circle, but also your sister, your student, your reputation and generations of ponies. You are not allowed to walk away from this. You have no cause to cry about this. Now harden your resolve, pick yourself up and take control of the clusterfuck unfolding around us. We have shit to do and a country to unfuck and we don't have time for your self-pity."
I sighed contentedly and stared directly into the princess's eyes at muzzle-to-muzzle closeness. Then I realized what I had done in pressing my face into Celestia’s, seeing that I’d nearly pushed her into the backboard, her body laying between my hooves. I took a breath and slowly moved back to the foot of the bed.
My heart began to race as memories that were not mine flashed through my brain, memories of scars I had not earned, fear that was not mine and cowardice I had never shown. They pinned me against the headboard as his red and green eyes bored into mine. His death glare and his green eye were startling in their own right, but the red one just looked unnatural. Seeing it closely, I could make out near invisible radial cracks in it, something likely no one else could perceive.
My breathing sped up, trying to match the pace of my heart. I saw a flashback of a pony raising their hoof up high and striking me but I was able to tell that it wasn’t my memory. I’d never been struck in that manner before.
Suddenly, I regained my presence of mind and reality hit me like a ton of bricks. This pony that seemed unfazed by his nightmarish upbringing, who told me that he did not hate me for turning a blind eye to his and all the others' suffering was huffing his hot breath in my face.
Abruptly, Dark Dream seemed to realize that he’d invaded my personal space. He calmed down and backed away before he could provoke an unwanted reaction, but he was too late. A dam inside me had burst and a tsunami of repressed grievances poured out with an indiscriminate rage. It burned hotter than even my sun, and then exploded.
"How dare you belittle my sacrifices!" I bellowed indignantly. "I have spent a thousand years carrying the weight of Equestria on my back, making every difficult decision! A lesser pony would have been crushed under the burden! I have tirelessly protected this land with my blood, sweat and tears! I have sacrificed my happiness, my family and even my morals to protect this land! Forgive me if I was a little selfish in resting my burden for a moment! Why… wh... w…"
I calmed down and noticed the burning in my throat as I paused at the edge of using the royal Canterlot voice. But I was not so much concerned about that as I was about candidly expressing things I wouldn't even tell to myself. They'd always been there in the back of my mind but I'd never voiced my true, unfiltered feelings before.
I felt sick again, but even worse than that, I felt liberated for the first time in almost a millennium. I finally, if only for a second, dropped my mask and spoke my mind. Even afterwards, I could feel more words I wanted to say boiling up to the surface. Words I wanted to say to subjects, to nobles and dignitaries, to kings, even words I wanted to say to the Circle itself and my sister. I felt catharsis.
As I stared at the pony who spurred this change within me, he folded his hooves together and smiled. It was a true smile, not the kind of smile I give at public appearances but the kind I only give to my closest friends and family.
"Thank you," I breathed. Words that surprised even myself came out of my mouth as I laid back against the bed and rested. "I think we can talk now about the main reason I'm here." I wiped my eyes on the covers.
Straightening my aching back, I held my shoulders up high and gathered my strength to set out on a new path. I had to travel by destiny or faith, by blood or fire, by love or hate. "What is next?"
I smiled at seeing the new pony before me. I had heard about this pony, the one sitting on the bed right now. She was different from the pony who was a broken mess just a couple of hours ago. She was a pony I could actually respect.
"It's time we stopped postponing our business," I told her. "The short and sweet of it is that Equestria is fucked. Depending on what Luna does, Twist Peppermint’s book may damn near cause a country-wide riot and total collapse.
“What's worse is one of the Elements of Harmony being implicated. The trials early on were very public, but the significance of their findings and everything that pointed your way ended up swept under the rug. It also didn't make the situation any better when you went on a break.
“Ponies have accused your sister of foul play. Her evasiveness and steamrolling of the nobles' requests have only further agitated things. The only reason things haven't fallen apart already is because of Twilight and the remaining elements. They were the hoofhold Luna needed to fill the power vacuum, but even their reputation has been sullied by Rarity.
“The trials went off without a hitch, and if the guilty were not sentenced to death, they were sent to Tartarus. For a long while, the Canterlot dungeons were full. All those who were not swept up by the royal guard went into hiding."
I let out a long sigh. "That was just the initial purge. Luna also moved to seize the funds of every Circle member and earmarked them to build mental health clinics and other public services. The nobles were outraged, calling it an overreach in private. Of course, they weren't willing to fight that battle in the public eye. Having such a sinister enemy among us kind of cemented Luna as the sole body of power in Equestria with no checks or balances. The only thing that could stop her is the army which she still controls… mostly."
Gathering my train of thought, I looked out the window to see a patrolling knight walk past. "Then came part two of the problems," I mumbled. "Foreign dignitaries came seeking an audience with the princess… of the sun, but they were only allowed to speak to the princess of the moon. She gave them the same story that she gave the public: You basically had a mental breakdown and went on sabbatical. She probably said it in a nicer way, but that was the gist.
“I'm pretty sure they had their suspicions, but many seemed to accept her explanations. Then there were also opportunists who came in trying to expand their territory or negotiate better trade agreements. Basically, all the normal conniving political stuff. They thought it was worth a shot, with you out of the picture. But Luna handled herself more adeptly and ruthlessly than expected. Threatening to cut off a bird's head was quite the wake-up call for the Griffins." I let out a hardy laugh thinking back on that one.
Celestia's eyes widened in disbelief that her sister would be such a shrewd diplomat, even with the historically rocky relationship with the griffons.
"Oh, don't worry," I assured her. "The flying chickens merely rattled their sabers. Nothing came of it but even more strained relations. You can thank Twilight for that, as well. I'm pretty sure you did not train her to be a diplomat, but being the Element of Friendship and Magic probably gives her a boost.
“Blueblood was a surprising asset on that front as well," I snorted. “Good at smoothing things over. I see why you kept him around despite his flaws. Still, there were some nations that cut ties over the Circle. It's bad, but despite Equestria's stumbling on the world stage, foreign affairs are about as docile as they can be." I winked deviously at her.
I shook my head. "We can talk about that later, and you can just read up on the rest. But on to the main issue: this new 'tell all' book. This is the match on the powder keg's fuse that's either going to tear this country apart or create the opening for a foreign enemy to do it to us. I can't really allow either of those to happen. The Tree of Harmony can't take a hit like that again."
Her face contorted in terror. "What’s happened to the tree?"
I watched her vacantly. She probably thought that she could just bounce right back from all of this until she heard that little detail.
"What do you think?" I shrugged. "It's been almost three years of chaos. I'm surprised that Discord wasn't reawakened from his slumber. The Tree of Harmony is weakened and I have felt something off about the Everfree Forest for a while now. Having one of the element bearers being a continent away isn’t helping matters, either. I could not imagine Luna being so foolish. From what I heard, she didn’t even try to strip Rarity of the Element of Generosity. She relinquished one of the element bearers to some dragon," I remarked in a derisive tone.
My eyes nearly jumped out of my head upon hearing this. "She did what?!"
Once again, l was flabbergasted in shock. I believed my sister to be wise overall but not particularly smart in certain situations. But this? This was a glaring oversight of the greatest caliber.If Rarity had been imprisoned in Equestria, it would still allow her to be available in the event of threats. Her being sent to a totally different land was folly at best.
My momentary scheming to bring Rarity back home was interrupted by Dark Dream again. "The Tree of Harmony is weakening, or at least going dormant. That means no more protection."
I gave him a perplexed look. "Yes, the tree is an indispensable weapon and it does protect us from…" My words were lost as images of the holy trees, the creatures from the void and that giant eye that burned with untold wickedness flashed back through my mind. I shook my head. "You couldn't be talking about whatever that thing was. There were other trees too."
Dark Dream leaned forward, his face earnest. "Yes, the other trees will stop most of the creatures from coming in," he agreed. "But there's still a high probability that something could break through. Your sister is the best example of that sentiment."
"What do you mean by that?" I bristled with anger. I thought about Nightmare Moon with disgust, that magical parasite that had latched onto Luna and took her away for a thousand years. "Are you telling me that Nightmare Moon was spawned from the void?"
"Where else would it come from?” he shrugged. "But we're losing track again. For now, we need to deal with the problem at hoof. The tree is waning. The country is in turmoil and exposed to possible invasion. Your sister is not capable of ruling alone. Her idealism, inexperience and cavalier rulership are threatening to plunge us into war which would already be happening if the Circle hadn't only taken ponies from the other countries."
"I see," I groaned. I screwed my eyes shut, trying desperately to conjure up a battery of solutions to pull us out of the hole we were in. If that book was to take me down, every ally I had in Equestria would probably end up going down with me.
"As I said earlier," I murmured, "my support network will be limited at best. I could attempt to villainize the writer or even turn things into a “my word versus hers” situation, but with witnesses corroborating the story, including my sister and my student, my deception would likely just blow up in our faces. That would only divide the country more, leading us further down the path of civil war."
I threw my head back and blew a raspberry. "Do you seriously believe you have any options as far as peaceful solutions? That ship has sailed. It's time for you to start putting your hooves on ponies' necks. You tried to explain to your sister and you ended up being tortured for three years. Your sister talks about justice and truth but knows nothing of order. Without order, justice is just another excuse for rulers to do whatever they want. Luna knows less than you do about the truth of the elements and even less about the trees."
I quickly fixated on that knowledge, turning back to Dark Dream. "What would you know about the elements?” I asked in an irritated tone. "You are not a bearer. I spent a thousand years researching that subject, adding to what I already knew from Starswirl the Bearded. I also know the proper way to turn ponies into true alicorns, something that the doctor and her experiment failed to uncover, not that she would even know what to do with the research if I gave it to her."
Dark Dream narrowed his eyes on me. "Oh really?" he scoffed. "If you know it all, then explain to me why Rarity was chosen to be an element?"
I mirrored the intensity of his stare. "Simple. She represented the element the best. She was a generous soul. Her flaws in other areas were irrelevant. Her sadism and pedophilic tendencies did not negate her generosity. Even with a chance to run away and forge her own path, Rarity chose generosity over greed"
"Yes," he conceded, "but there's more to it than that. The elements make no mistakes in choosing their avatars. They make no distinction between good and evil, only order and chaos. A little secret of the elements that most ponies don't know is that you don't need to be a good pony to use them. You pretty much just need to represent your element well.
“A good example would be Applejack. Applejack is honest, hard-working and overall a good pony who loves her family but sometimes she can be prideful, self-destructive and aggressive. All of that baggage is perfectly fine, as long as she stays honest. It's exactly the same with all the elements."
It didn’t take me long to realize he was right. "I have to agree with you, but for a pony who's so young, you know too much."
"Trust me, I don't know too much. I know the right amount and sometimes, that's even more important than knowing too much. But my real point is that you cannot rule with soft power at this time.
“It’s possible our plans may change if Luna denies the allegations and calls that pony, Twist, a liar, but she’s a well-respected member of society and a famous author. I doubt Twilight or Spike will let Luna slander her baselessly. According to our intel, the little dragon fell head-over-hooves for her.”
“But we have undeniable proof that my theory was right,” I blurted. “The balance is a real thing. They cannot simply ignore your vision or experience." There had to be a way to salvage the situation. I just couldn’t see it. I once tried to explain the balance to my sister. She thought she understood, but then one of my knights went rogue and told her of the Circle before I had a chance to explain it myself. I still maintain that I would have, eventually.
"We can try to bring her around," I proposed.
"When you told her the first time, did it bring her around?” I asked. “And don't give me the argument that your proof was not strong enough. If she was really your beloved sister, she would believe you no matter what. She decided that her crusade was more important than keeping order. She’d rather let Equestria die than live in an Equestria that has any traces of evil in it. If you won’t step in and balance the scale, then I’ll just have to do it myself."
I looked at Dark Dream with an expression of patient anger. No one had ever been brazen enough to dismiss and threaten me to my face other than Equestria's darkest enemies; Discord, Sombra and the other disgusting creatures. Certainly never anyone this young and with this much passionate determination. He stared back at me, not even shrinking from an ageless alicorn.
I looked down my muzzle at him and reached up to grab the magical restraint on my horn. I felt it against my hoof before squeezing. The already ruined device easily crumbled in my grasp. "Few creatures have ever threatened me or my family and not suffered the consequences," I growled.
"I'm pretty sure no mortal pony has survived what I have." I looked back, feeling an ember of anger before stuffing it back down inside me. "Fine then," I grumbled. "I will make plans to deal with her." Celestia melted back into the bed, satisfied.
"You're not making this easy for me." I laughed weakly. "Fine, fine, fine… Wow, you're very forgiving. The stories about you must be true. Very few ponies would forgive someone who did what your sister did to you. But I guess what you did to me and the other ponies would be the equivalent. Oh well." I held my hoof out towards Celestia.
I looked at his outstretched hoof for a moment before taking it and feeling an odd strength behind it. Dark Dream had a strong grip. He held it there for a few minutes before letting go. "Now, to sate my curiosity, do you mind telling me what happened to the doctor?"
He smiled at me. "What do you think happened? She’s still doing her research and trying to impress you. She rehabilitated from her chest wound, describing it as “interesting.”"
He laughed before glancing at the clock on the wall. "I think it's about time for your sister's speech." He turned to the radio, scooting it closer to us and then switched it on. I heard the tail end of the Equestrian National Anthem and then something quite surreal; Luna's voice.
I closed my eyes and listened, Imagining all of the good times, the loving moments and then all of the tragedy, the separation. The last thing I remembered of her was the cold look in her eyes, her stinging words, her magic, the dark influence and even the memories of others that were now also mine. I exhaled them all.
"My Little Ponies…" began Luna.
At an unknown location, a pair of diamond dogs scratched away at the wall of dirt, lengthening the tunnel. A hooded pony watched from the shadows behind them, a book tucked securely in their foreleg. The diamond dogs looked back as they caught a whiff. The tome smelt of leather, an odd thing for a pony to possess. But they were paid too much to ask questions, so they continued their burrowing.
"Boss who is mysterious pony?" began the snaggletoothed dog looking back at their employer. The torchlight danced over the eyeglasses of a bored-looking unicorn. They did not acknowledge the diamond dog who grunted before pushing away a pile of rocky soil and softly whispering, "Pony big spender, drop lots of shiny to the ruler to dig. No questions asked."
The burly dog snuck a peek at the pony for a few seconds before returning to his task. "Pony creepy, not right," he muttered.
Suddenly the two hit something. They exchanged glances with one another and then used their paws to sweep the dirt and rubble to the side effortlessly, efficiently clearing the way.
When they were finished, they beheld a giant door engraved with odd runic symbols. The cloaked pony finally stepped forward from the darkness with a smile on her face. Examining the humongous door and scanning over the runes of an unknown language, the diamond dogs stared at it with an odd feeling of purpose, something they had never truly felt before.
"I see you are curious about what's behind the door," the pony remarked.
The diamond dogs looked at each other, now feeling uncertainty and trepidation as the pony moved between them with a deadpan expression on her face. Despite their size and physical strength, the diamond dogs regarded her fearfully, the feeling only continuing to swell in their hearts. They slowly parted, backing against the walls to allow the pony to reach the door.
"Tell your ruler they will have what they want now, plus the gold and jewels I promised them."
As soon as the dogs heard those words, they immediately broke away, scampering through the tunnels and back to their homeland, Caninia.
"Whoever thought this would be their tree? I guess life is funny that way. The tree of purpose." The doctor pulled out a crystal, levitating it in front of her face. It pulsed red, then green and after a few seconds, Dark dream appeared on its side with Celestia in the background. Then six other hooded figures appeared on separate sides of the crystal. "I have found it."
The doctor aimed the crystal at the door. The hooded figures observed it for a moment before one of them let out a dark laugh as the others sat in silence.
Dark Dream chuckled, seemingly over something that nopony else noticed. "Good job! Set up the excavation team. We'll be there soon. We still have some things to do on our end, but with this discovery, the pendulum has finally swung in our direction. Now that you've seen undeniable proof of what we said, I expect your full support."
The other cloaked figures nodded their heads in approval and disconnected one by one. Hecate breathlessly looked back at the door and smiled. "It is time for this world to adapt or die."
