It was evening time at Twilight's castle, and Spike was in the kitchen making drinks for everypony, as they talked and laughed in the throne room. He couldn't help but listen in on the discussion.
Rainbow laughed her eyes, "Yeah that sounds like Rarity alright. Being a drama queen as always."
Rarity looked away in embarrassment, "Yes well, perhaps I overreacted just a tad but I don't know if 'drama queen' is necessarily accurate..."
"Seriously? You're like the drama emperor!"
"Empress," Twilight corrected.
"Yeah that."
Applejack giggled, "Yeah that sounds about right. You freak out over the tiniest speck of dirt."
Rarity glared slightly, "Well at least I don't roll around in it like you do!"
Applejack opened her mouth to make a comeback, but paused, "Yeah you got me there."
Pinkie stood up in her seat excitedly, "But dirt can be fun! You can dig holes! Or plant stuff! Or roll around in it, like Applejack, or even make dirt castles, which are like sand castles but with dirt! You like sand castles don't you Rarity? I've seen you make one!"
Rarity looked up and thought, "I suppose that's true... Well at least sand has the decency to come off fairly easily. Dirt gets in your fur and everypony can see it, unlike sand."
Fluttershy nodded, "I guess that would be a problem since your fur is so white."
"Precisely!"
Twilight smiled her eyes, "Yes there is that, but you can't stay inside all the time just because you're afraid of getting a little dusty.
How would ponies ever get anything done?"
"Well maybe that's true for non fashion designers, but I simply cannot accept the filth that farmers get involved with! No offense Applejack "
Applejack rolled her eyes, "Speaking of farming, Twilight are you joining in the running of the leaves this year again?"
Twilight nodded, "Oh of course, I join in every year."
"Yeah you got an advantage with your long alicorn legs," Rainbow added.
"I suppose that's true..."
Pinkie jumped up once again, "Oh! Oh! I was thinking about joining in too! It looks like lots of fun!"
Rainbow Dash made a "pfft" noise in response.
Pinkie looked at the pegasus, "What? I could totally do great in that race!"
Rainbow Dash held back a bit of laughter, "Uhh yeah Pinkie, no offense but... Remember how I said Twilight has an advantage? You have the... opposite of that."
"Disadvantage," Twilight added.
"Yeah that."
Pinkie stayed silent for a moment. Disadvantage? What did Rainbow Dash mean? She had said Twilight had an advantage due to having longer legs... and if Pinkie had the opposite of that... That could only mean -
"Are you saying I'm short?!"
"Well, yeah."
"Wha- I am not short!"
Applejack giggled, "Uh Pinkie I hate to tell you this but, Rainbow isn't exactly wrong."
Pinkie looked at Applejack in shock, "What?! That's crazy talk! Fluttershy! Tell them I'm not short!"
"Oh, well, um... I think your your height is... Great." Fluttershy said, smiling at the end.
"See!?" Pinkie yelled.
"Uh, aren't you all the same height?"
Everypony stopped, and looked in the direction of the new voice.
"Spike! How long have you been here?" Twilight asked.
"I just came in but I could hear you from the kitchen, and like I said, apart from Twilight you guys are... the exact same height y'know?"
There was a long pause filled with silence, before a loud "What!?" from everyone but Spike.
Rarity rolled her eyes, "Spikes that is absolutely ridiculous. I'm taller than at least three of the others.
"I'm totally taller than you!" Applejack added.
"Well I'm at least taller than Pinkie!"
"Hey!" Pinkie yelled.
"I'm um, probably not taller than any of you, if that makes anypony feel better..." Fluttershy said, although she didn't really believe it, and to be honest nopony could really hear her over the argument.
Twilight spread out her wings to grab everyone's attention, "Girls, girls, calm down, it doesn't matter who's taller than who."
"Easy for you to say! You're taller than all of us!" Rainbow shouted.
"You get to look down on us all day," Rarity added.
Twilight stepped back, "Hey I do not look down on any pony!"
"I really don't see the difference..." Spike said to himself.
Pinkie went up to Fluttershy, "Flutters am I short? Be honest I can take it!"
Fluttershy stayed silent, and simply placed her wing on Pinkie's head. Pinkie reacted as if she just got news that she had some kind of terminal illness.
Rainbow and Applejack were currently in a shouting match over which of the two of them was taller, and Twilight and Spike just watched the chaos.
"Alright alright enough yelling! I'll settle this," Spike said as he left the room to retrieve something.
The others waited silently, with Applejack and Rainbow glaring at each other, and Pinkie praying that Spike would prove the others wrong.
Spike returned after a few long minutes with... a tape measure, "Alright everypony line up against the wall."
They all obeyed and stood as upright as they could, even Fluttershy, who seemed to care about this a bit more than she let on, and Twilight, who really had nothing to prove in the first place.
Spike began taking measurements, and although it didn't take long at all, it seemed to drag on for the ponies.
"Alright I'm done."
The others leaned in closely, anxious for the results.
"I'll admit, I was wrong. There actually is a difference! I never would have noticed on my own, but I guess I didn't see it since I'm not a pon-"
"Get to the results!" yelled Rainbow.
"Oh right sorry. Well, no surprise, Twilight is the tallest,"
Twilight smiled proudly, and the others rolled their eyes.
"As for shortest... sorry Pinkie."
"NOOOO!" Pinkie sat down sadly, and Fluttershy attempted to comfort her.
"I was actually surprised but, Fluttershy is the second tallest."
"What!?" Applejack and Rainbow exclaimed in unison.
"Oh, wow, really?" Fluttershy looked away a bit, trying to hide a hint of a smile.
"Third tallest goes to Rarity."
"AHA! Oh, I mean... lovely."
Rainbow and Applejack both groaned, and Rainbow yelled, "those three are all taller than us?! Come on!"
"Well, who's taller, me or Dash?" Applejack asked anxiously.
Spike looked at his list of measurements, even though he knew it already, and was only trying to build up suspense, "between you two... the taller one is... Applejack!"
Rainbow flopped on the ground in defeat, while Applejack cheered for herself loudly.
"Seriously?! I'm the second shortest? Frickin...at least I'm still taller that Pinkie I guess."
Pinkie's ears went flat against her head, and Fluttershy swatted Rainbow with her wing for her insensitivity.
Applejack smiled, "but you ain't taller than meeee!"
Rainbow glared, and Rarity added, "you still came in fourth place overall Applejack. Hardly anything to brag about."
Applejack sat next to Rainbow, feeling the wind being ripped directly from her sails, and Twilight stood there, looking down on the others, just as she had been accused of moments earlier.
Spike rolled his eyes, "you know I'm gonna be taller than all of you not too long from now?"
The others fell silent, and watched Spike walk away, having had the last word. He was right after all, the tallest of them is still just a little pony.
The End
Author's Note
My first story with all the mane six, and also my first story with Spike! Lemme know what you thought!
Also apparently referencing other stories is a great way to get people to read them more, so go read Drastic Measures