“You think my country knows no war, Anonymous? We fought the griffins in the worst war Equestria has ever known! Hundreds died, HUNDREDS!"
Since your arrival in Equestria, you had always found it beneficial to never go out in public without wearing your great helm, so as to not frighten the natives with your human visage. Now you were silently thanking the Lord for having masked the look of fear and confusion that you wore.
You apologized to her. “Please forgive me your Majesty, for I never intended to insult you or your proud people."
Celestia's fierce gaze appeared to soften slightly as you respectfully took a knee to your regal benefactor but it did little to lessen your curiosity.
The greatest war of this mighty kingdom claimed a mere few hundred lives? Impossible. War was a sordid affair. Even small skirmishes killed more sometimes.
"F-forgive me yet again your grace, but did you say HUNDREDS of lives?..."
Celestia spoke solemnly. "Yes that is correct. It was a dark time for Equestria as well as for the Griffins. Never before had our world seen such cruelty and bloodshed..."
The princess looked down upon you with a sad, faraway look in her eyes, the look of one who hides a great deal of sorrow within her heart.
"A-and you say that it was the most terrible battle of this war that had claimed these hundreds of lives?"
O Hell.
Her sadness had disappeared, having replaced her sorrows to partake in your own bewilderment.
“No Sir Anon. We fought dozens of battles, each one more bloody than the last, and by year's end several hundred people had lost their lives. It was one of the most haunting events in my entire thousand year reign. Could you imagine so many peoples' lives snuffed out?"
You continued kneeling there in silence, with memories of Acre and Jerusalem igniting within your mind.
"Ah. I-I see! Most horrific! I cannot simply fathom it! BY THE HOLY GHOST WHAT CARNAGE, MOST FRIGHTENING!!! WHAT A TERRIBLE DAY IT MUST HAVE BEEN!!!"
You peered up through your visor to see the Princess cocking an eyebrow down upon you.
Her royal eyes bared down upon you, her face assuming a most unamused scowl.
You began to sweat as your new patron mistress steps down from her throne to walk beside you.
You continued to stare at the ground, less so out of respect, and more so out of intense nervousness.
“Anon,"
You remained silent, fearing what she would say next.
“Sir Anonymous.”
With a sigh, you spoke.
“Yes Princess?"
Celestia answered. "You've served faithfully under me for some time, and have proven a great friend. However, there is still much of your own world that you have yet to explain.”
You listened to your princess as she paced in circles around you, as if she were a lioness encircling her prey, before she stopped just in front of you.
"You say you were a knight in service to this Prince Jesus, and that you swore an oath to protect the weak, yes?
"Why, y-YES OF COURSE! I, SIR ANON, SWORE ON MY HONOR AND IMMORTAL SOUL TO DEFEND ALL CHRISTENDOM FROM EVIL. IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE HOLY GHOST AMEN!"
You peered up again at your princess who silently stares at you with her mouth agape and her brow scrunched.
Not even the Holy Land in the most unforgiving of summers made you sweat this much within your armor.
“Well then Sir Anon, tell me, when was the last time that the knights of your world had to go to war?"
By the lord…
You couldn’t speak.
"Anon"
“Y-yes you-"
"As your Princess I command you to answer my question immediately and sincerely"
GOD DAMNIT
"Very Well, as you wish, it shall be done!"
Where do you start?
True, hundreds of lives is a tragic loss, but to think that a kingdom such as this could have been founded with so little blood spilt…
"Ah, uhmmm yes, well... You remember when I told you of the Romans? They had... A few conflicts, and do you recall Charlemagne, the founder of the empire from whence I originally hailed from? He too had a somewhat violent reign and..."
Looking into her eyes, anon met Celestia's fiery glare and knew that she was growing quite tired of his banter.
Lord preserve me.
“Well, to cut to it, a lot. Thousands perhaps tens of thousands in just the battles I’ve been through alone. And I too am responsible for killing dozens in the name of my lord."
The fire in Celestia's eyes were extinguished.
"You did wh-"
Anon stood up to meet Celestia's gaze, removing his helm to reveal the sombre grimness in his own countenance.
"I went to war myself and under my command I had hundreds of men killed."
Celestia stood there shocked, trying to comprehend what her normally jovial servant was saying to her.
"When I was a young man, I did many things that I later came to regret doing. In my heart, I knew I was a wicked person and I believed that I was beyond redemption."
"..."
"However, in my later years I was given such a chance to redeem myself for the evil I had once done. There was a place to the far east called the Holy Land that was very important to my own people for reasons I cannot begin to describe. Despite the significance of these lands, they laid under the control of a different people called the Saracens. They did not respect our desire to visit these lands, and worse yet they killed our brothers and sisters in the far east."
"Wait, why? Why were your people and these Saracens so hostile to each other?"
"Your Grace, it is very complicated for me to explain, and in all honesty there are times when I find it difficult to understand as well. All you must know is that we and the Saracens did battle many times. Shall I continue?"
"Yes, you may."
Celestia reclined back, slumping her shoulders to absorb more of anon's tale.
You had faltered in your speech.
It felt hard to go on with your tale, as you could see the horror in your Princess' eyes.
This lady graciously accepted you, a complete stranger in a world that was not your own, and made you one of her trusted Guards.
With her blessing, you made a new home for yourself in this world that was far happier than any place you had in your own realm.
And now, in return for her generosity you were breaking her heart with your tales.
Still you went on, knowing that you would be doing a great disservice by lying to the one who had placed so much trust in you.
"I sold what little land I had, gave away every frivolous thing I owned so that I could leave my old home behind and take up arms to defend the Holy Land. I traveled for years, by boat and by sea, weathering the elements, disease, and the depredations of greedy and honorless men so I could reach the Holy Land"
Celestia had balked. “You traveled for years just so you could risk throwing your life away?"
"I had to, Lady Celestia. I had needed to atone for what I had done my Lady. Nothing else mattered much to me, and there were many others that felt the same way as I did, and many of them did not even survive the journey."
Celestia looked as sad as I had ever seen her. "I am... So very sorry for your comrades anon, and for you"
You quickly spoke. "Do not be, it was something that had to be done."
"Do you really believe that? Was it really so important to fight in this war that you would risk dying simply to have a chance to fight?"
"My Princess, some things are worth dying for"
The Princess began to look pale, seeing a side of anon that she had never really known. She began to wonder if the imposing human encased in armor before her was really the same friendly and jovial being she and her subjects had come to know.
She had known many heroes, warriors, and soldiers over her lifetime, but none spoke of death as Anon did now.
"When we finally reached the Holy Land, I learned what it was like to experience war firsthand. Our band of over thirty thousand laid siege to many castles and cities. Many more of my comrades died, and even as our numbers and supplies dwindled we grew stronger in our resolve to win back the land. We discovered ancient artifacts of great magic which empowered our warriors, and several of our number received visions that encouraged us to fight on."
Celestia had questions. “You told me earlier that your kind did not practice magic in your world."
"It was... A different kind of magic than what exists here, but it gave us strength nonetheless."
“…”
"At the end of it all, we had fought many a battle with the Saracens until the Holy Land and been rightfully conquered by our people. The actual fighting only lasted about half a year, but each battle brought with it great bloodshed."
Celestia had one final question for you.
"How many died?"
"... We lost many knights and soldiers, and the Saracens were also badly beaten in many a battle. It shames me to say, but in most places we conquered, much destruction was inflicted upon the common people as we-"
She had raised her voice.
"How many died Anon?"
At this critical moment you found yourself dropping your gaze to the ground, unwilling to see how she will take such news
“I cannot honestly say for certain, but the end of it all I know that I had personally slain over twenty men in battle, and that there were many other people who fought just as hard as I did if not harder. When the fighting was all over though, there were not many of us left. Tens of thousands of us had fallen, and many more on the side of the Saracens had also died at our hands."
The throne room became deathly quiet.
Anon heard no gasps, no screams, no shouts of anger or disgust.
He could not begin to think what thoughts now crept into her mind, although he feared the worst
Anon's own face betrayed no emotion, save perhaps an old melancholy that had finally returned to him after so long.
He had come to believe that perhaps he had finally left the horrors of war behind him, that perhaps God had finally rewarded him for his act of contrition by sending him to his own personal Heaven.
He had nothing but doubts now as his liege stood before him dumbstruck by the carnage he had helped reap.
"Celestia, I am sorry you had to hear that. I can tell that I should have never come here in the first place. I will leave you and this place in pea-"
An angelic wing wrapped around Anon as the Princess held her knight in a tight embrace.
Tears streamed down from her cheeks and onto Anon's armor.
You tried to jerk away.
“What is this?! I don't understand?!
Celestia only tightened her grasp.
"Anon please don't leave! No one should have to suffer through what you and the people of your world experienced."
“You don't have to feel sorry for me, I chose to do what I did!"
"Your world and your ways are different from mine, but you don't ever have to suffer through what happened in your world anymore."
“..."
Princess Celestia broke from her embrace and stared into your eyes
Never in your entire life had you seen one look upon you with such compassion.
It was as if God himself was smiling upon you. Perhaps Celestia was an angel of the Lord.
“Please Sir Anon, stay here in Equestria and serve under me as my knight."
Anon could not believe what heard and what he saw before him.
“Even after all I have said and done, you would have me here?"
Celestia did not say a word, she only smiled as she fought back the ongoing stream of tears.
It was then that Anon, who had spent his entire life devoted to war, realized that his place in life was here in Equestria serving Celestia.
Anon unsheathed his sword as he fell to his knees before the Princess.
He held the sword up high above his head, resting the tip on the ground.
"I Sir Anon, swear in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to serve you, Princess Celestia, from now until the day I die. Her enemies shall henceforth be my enemies, and her friends my friends. Should any foe threaten her, and should any people bring war and evil to her lands, I swear to defend it with all that I am."
And regardless of what came next, Anon lived the rest of his life with his heart at peace.
