What's wrong, Twilight?

by Sleepy_meep_92

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Sad, Other
Length: 2618

Being an alicorn ruler of Equestria is hard, especially with the downsides of immortality

Twilight hasn’t been feeling well, and as much to Spike’s dismay, she won’t say what’s wrong.

Or what’s bothering her.
[TW; metions of blood and a bit of d3@th]

Published 2023-01-24 07:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-07 02:36:27 UTC

Remorse

Author's Note

1/?
Hey y’all!
This is a one-shot chapter, although other chapters are planned, I just wanted to post this one to see how this will turn out for critic-wise ^^

Feedback is recommended!
Thank you to the people whom gave story-written feedback upon my previous work, it helps me figure out what I need to change, so, much appreciated!

Remorse

“Thank you, your highness!” Luster Dawn shouted while running off to attend some errands.

“Anytime, Luster Dawn!” Twilight Sparkle retorted from her position on the throne, which after she grabbed a scroll from her side and checked off ‘Help Luster Dawn with friendship lessons.’

After she simply sighs and stays on her throne, slumped and just about done with today. Spike comes from around the corner of the room, a platter with two tea cups, a tea kettle and a haycake on top of it. He leans on the throne next to her and pours her some tea in her cup for her to simply waver her magic to slowly grab it out of his claws, and give him a small smile.
“Thanks Spike.”
“Anytime.”
The two are there for a minute, drinking tea and Twilight casually taking bites out of her haycake. It wasn’t until Twilight was pouring herself a third cup of tea that Spike noticed how exhausted she looked. Which made him very concerned, even though it isn’t new that she’d overwork herself from time to time, he notices that she seems to look more tired each passing day. The more he sees her nowadays, the ore it looks like she’s slipping further away from him.
He placed his teacup down on the platter again, and looked at Twilight in concern.
“Twilight, when was the last time you slept?”
Twilight seemed to freeze at that comment, only after a few seconds did she absentmindedly take a couple sips of her tea. “That isn’t important, what really needs attending is the meeting coming about news at the Council Of Friendship-”
Spike placed his claw on her shoulder, and she tensed up as if ready for battle, at Spike let out a sigh.

“Twilight.”
“What? Did I say something wrong?” Twilight was pretty confused, but Spike could tell that she was also nervous, and waiting for a reply from him.
“The council was abandoned, Twilight. They’re...”
He couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t want to. For he knew if he did, the mare next to him wouldn’t let him hear the last of it.
But instead of getting an agitated response for ‘bringing it up after she’d forgotten again’, she just simply set her teacup back on the tray, and slowly walked out of the room, and towards her own. Leaving Spike sitting there, unknowing what actions to take next.

Twilight thrusted her door open with a wave of magic so forceful, that it caused a small rumble from the doors colliding with the wall.
She didn’t really care at this moment though.
”Did Spike really need to spit out the obvious?”
She felt Deja Vu rush in. The screams. The Yells. The panicked speeches and the cold. She could feel herself collapse on the floor, covering her face with her front hooves and shaking uncontrollably. Gasps and sobs and tears escaped from her throat, and she just wanted to stay there for the rest of her days.

That was, until she felt a cold sensation on her shoulder.
She lifted her head to the side, only to find a familiar face’s warm smile, her fuchsia mane swaying from the side of her head.
“Hey Pinkie.”
“Don’t ‘Hey Pinkie’ me, I can tell something’s wrong.”
Twilight sat up and smiled, obviously prepared to tell one of her new ways of making sure nobody gets worried for Twilight.
White lies.
“Nothing really, I just haven’t got much sleep like should.”
Seems like that didn’t work like she thought it would, because Pinkie Pie just gives her an agitated and a concerned look.
Twilight doesn’t know how she combined those two.
Pinkie Pie then sighs and sits next to Twilight, wiping remanence of her leftover tears, and, placing one of her hooves around her, giving her a small hug.
“You know, the others would be pretty upset at you putting yourself down like this.”
Twilight chuckled, also wrapping one of her hooves around Pinkie Pie, giving back the cold hug.
“Well they’re not here, are they?”
A creaking sound of a door opening caught both of the mare’s attention, as they turned to see a small group of multicolored mares into the room, and they all look upon the situation.
“Say no more,” Applejack spoke with sincerity in her tone. “move over, we’re joining.” She ordered, trotting over to them to join, as the others followed.

The six friends stayed there for a bit, embracing each other's presence. For the joy of seeing their beloved princess-friend once again, and checking how she’s recovering.
“It’s been so long you guys!” Twilight says after the long stretch of silence, lifting the heads of the others whom we’re subsequently stuck in the moment
There was no response, just a small smile from Fluttershy, as she maneuvered herself from the group up to stand on her hooves, moving her mane to behind her ear. Then with a small voice, she spoke. “Twilight, you still blame yourself...for what happened...don’t you?” such harsh words to such a sweet tone, that even the others could tell that it was fake sympathy.
“W-what are you talking about, n-nothing happened girls!” She said, folding her ears back and clenching her teeth to hold back tears that wouldn’t fall. Rainbow Dash slipped from the grasp of the hug as well, giving Twilight a ‘really?’ look that seemed so serious that it looked like she’d done it multiple times today.

“You know exactly what’s she’s talking about.” Rainbow said right after, making Twilight’s smile fade, and she stared at the floor, eyes shimmering from the corners. Rarity leaned to the side to catch a glimpse of her face, and immediately grabbed a couple of tissues on her dresser with her horn, and brought the tissues to the princess, in which she held with her own magic, wiping tears that fell. Once Rarity wiped a tear from her own, she rubbed her hoof back and forth on Twilight’s back. Although this was comforting, it still didn’t help the cries that escaped the immortal ruler.

“Darling...it’s not your fault...” Rarity sniffed as she wiped tears that kept coming from her eyes, making her mascara bleed into her snow white fur.

The others all shouted in agreement, also starting to weep along with Rarity, when Applejack slowly caressed Twilight’s hoof in her two own, letting tears drip from her eyes as well.
“W-who’s even gotcha thinkin’ like that, sucarcube?” Applejack worriedly spoke, her voice cracking , but she didn’t care.
“No-one is Applejack!” Twilight frantically spat, sighing as she flattened her wings on the floor off her back, solemnly staring upon her dearly missed friends.
“It’s been hard these past months.”
Everypony stared at Twilight, their expressions solemn, before Pinkie Pie walked forward one last time, a frown that’d ache the strongest heart, and gave Twilight a hug once again.
“It’s not your fault.”
Twilight, giving back another hug once more, closing her eyes to just feel the warmth of the lost friendship.

“I know, I just can’t let go yet.”

All Twilight could hear was a small giggle, as she felt coldness from where she was being hugged, and the voice and many other’s presence fading.

Twilight moved her hooves back to her side before opening her eyes again. She was hugging nothing but a fading memory, and her friends she longed and missed were nowhere to be seen.

She wiped new tears, forming in her eyes, letting her thoughts take over.

Right, alone again.

I need to face reality and stop having hope.

Twilight said nothing when she left out of her room, and through the halls to end, until she heard it.

“TWILY!”

Memories

Author's Note

{2/5}
Yesss some backstory
[So sorry this took so long!]
[TW; Mentions of death/gore!]-[teen-rate added for this chapter and incoming ones]
[intrusive thoughts!] [other tag added for incoming characters this chapter!]
So this chapter explains some backstory, so be prepared for some sadness! :>
:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::raritydespair::applecry:
Honestly, I wanted this to be one chapter thing to explain most of it, but I was busy this week, and my birthday’s Wendsday! 🎉

So this had to be split T^T
Til’ next time !

-Sleepy_meep_92

Memories

It was a beautiful crimson morning, the birds were chirping and the Autumn breeze kicking in, bringing a cold chill to the warm setting. As well as the Twilight was outside with a violet, fluffy knitted sweater, curiosity of Rarity, giving a soft smile at the world as her hair blew in the wind.

“Whatcha doin’?”

The voice startled her, as much as she hated to admit at the moment. She whipped around, only taking a second to move her hair from her preview, as she stared at the anonymous figure with a small smile.

“Hey Pinkie.”

“Hiya!”

The cheerful mare stood upright, her magenta scarf flying in her face, making her spit the cloth out of her mouth, Twilight snorted a little, and Pinkie Pie pointed her hoof at her in a playful ‘offended’ way. Now, both of the mares were enjoying the view of the sunrise, from the comfort of Twilight’s castle, of course, the positive company making Twilight feel warm inside.

After a bit of silence, Twilight decided to break it.

“How’s the bakery?” she asked, turning to pinkie, who looked back and smiled.

“It’s been all good! The baby cake's 5th birthday just finished a few hours ago, I told Mrs. Cake I was gonna go pay you a visit, so she told me to tell you hi!” She retorted, digging into her mane now, grabbing out a medium-serving of Red Velvet cake in a package.

“I was able to snag a piece of cake for you before the twins smashed it,” She let out a dry chuckle, placing the cake in front of Twilight, in which she gratefully lifted with her magic.

After she opened it, Twilight took a few bites, happily giving a satisfied expression each bite, and with a small smirk, nudged Pinkie Pie playfully in the shoulder.

“Your treats never fail to amaze me, y’know?”

The party pony smiled at that. “Just be glad you weren’t Celestia on her birthday all those moons ago, for Equestria’s sake!” She joked, putting herself in a demanding pose and stiffening her hair in a way of the former princess.

“ ‘Please make sure it’s not fondant! And add a bunch of white icing to the top! A bunch of cherries on that cake! I don’t want cheesecake anymore, I want the double-decker cake I always have!.....Oh, and don’t forget the sprinkles!”

Twilight couldn’t help laughing at her silly impressions, which made Pinkie sort-of embarrassed.

“She really did that on her birthday?” She spat, still holding back tears from her laugh attack.

“When she ruled? Most certainly!” Pinkie Pie retreated from her pose by now, still amused by Twilight’s reaction

Twilight recovered from her laughs to give Pinkie Pie a small smile, in which Pinkie gave her own. As the party pony sat back down with the princess, Twilight leaned herself on her dear friend, tearing up as the other placed her own head above hers.

“What’s this for?” Pinkie joked, concern plastered across her face.

“A hug,” the princess whimpered “It’s been so long I've seen you since the princesses..”

“Retired?...I know this whole ‘princess duty’ is tough, but remember that we’re here for you. No matter what Twi.”

The immortal princess kept quiet, she didn’t want to hear it that way, but it was quite obviously true. It’s not like they’d live all eternity, dealing with the hardships of rule anyway, and their duties was her homecoming gift from them.

“Why…can’t I live up to her expectations?...” Twilight whined as she let tears fall from her cheeks, Pinkie frowned, not knowing what to say for a minute, she placed her hoof over hers, sighing as she looked up at the morning light.

“Sometimes…It’s hard dealing with some things, it’s not always easy for everybody Twi.” Pinkie rubbed her back, holding back tears of her own

Rain poured down on the Apple Farm, soiling the crops and wetting the coats and manes of the ponies who stood outside, all covered in black from head to toe, none uttering a word as the Princess lowered her horn, levitating a large bouquet of Lavender and White Poppy flowers over a wooden casket.

In the somber energy, out came a elderly pegasus, sharing the same color scheme with the others, slowly but surely flying her way to the front holding a small book in her hand, turned to the family and the friends, flipping the book open and staring sadly at the crowd.

“Today, "She began, a helpless look plastered on her face. “we mourn the loss of our friend, our grandmother, our companion, my sister…Granny Smith.”

The crowd remained quiet, so she continued.

“She lived a long, happy life, although it ended so quickly, we still cherished the moments that we got to spend with her while we could, and now she’s watching from above.”

Twilight held her head down in shame. She really messed up this time. She never wanted this to happen, none of them did, but now here she is, standing in the midst of ponies who despise her now, and Applejack-
Oh Applejack...

Twilight couldn’t bring herself to look in the face of her right now, but she knew that she was holding back her tears, only getting a glimpse of her sister Applebloom wrapping her hooves around her big sisters neck, soft crying continuously into her sister’s chest.

Stupid! She thought to herself. You’re supposed to be the princess of friendship yet you can’t save anypony you defend! What kind of ruler are you! That should’ve been you!
Why isn’t that you?!
Why isn’t that me?

Twilight jolted at that last one. no, don’t think that-don’t be selfish.
“Twi?”

Twilight looked up from her stare at the ground, to see Applejack next to her, bloodshot eyes and a concerned look on her face.
“You alright?”
Twilight fluffed out her wings and looked at Applejack with worn-down expression.
“I should be asking you that.”
Applejack let out a forced scoff, one that she’s been needing to.
“Don’t make me laugh. You haven’t slept at all since last week.”
Twilight turned her head Infront of her.
“Well how can I? It hasn’t been a good week.”
“I get it, but it’ll get better.”
Twilight stared at Applejack that gave a ‘I don’t believe that one bit’ face. Applejack sighed, and sat next to Twilight, staring at the midnight sky.
“See that right there?” She had pointed to a strange star in the sky to the dusk princess, in which tilted her head in bewilderment.
Catching her gaze, Applejack stopped pointing and instead held back a tear. “Granny told me when she passes, she’ll be the brightest star,” She turned her head Twilight, tears falling down from her cheeks as she gave a shaky smile.

“-so each time the sun leaves, we’d always see ’er with us.”
“AJ...” Twilight was at a loss for words, but all she heard was the tear-wrenched laughs of her dear friend.
“I know...it’s unbelievable,...but I'd like to think of her as that star...the bright ‘est one I’ve seen all night..”