Rabbits, Schoolhouses, and Birthday Parties
Jargon Von Invincible was easily the most dangerous being alive. Standing at a startling 7 feet tall, the half alicorn half ex Navy Seal sniper towered over many other beings in Equestria. The ones that were taller than him bowed before his excellence before being savagely beaten into the ground for being born with a height advantage. Enough muscles littered his body to put even Roid Rage to shame. The beast was not all brawn however. He possessed a Masters degree in manslaughter as well as a Bachelors in homicide and an Associates in physics and finance.
Jargon had an impressive background that could not be over looked. He was the untold deadly brother of the two princesses that ruled over Equestria with an iron hoof, although he possessed more power than both of them combined. He had left the Navy Seals when he realized that not even they could hold back the incredible power that was brewing within him. Upon his departure, he had come to the ultimate decision to usurp his sisters’ power and take the crown of Equestria for himself.
Jargon ran his hoof through his red and black mane until a small woodland rabbit curiously approached him. It sniffed his hooves before quietly looking back up at him.
“MOVE!” And with one furious kick, he punted the rabbit, causing it to disintegrate on contact.
He grunted and shifted himself toward the nearby town of Ponyville. Jargon was hungry, and he wanted a snack.
The beast of an alicorn kicked the door to the schoolhouse off of its hinges, causing it to slam into Miss Cheerilee’s head and knock her unconscious. The fillies and colts screamed in terror while Jargon’s eye lasers cut down anyone unfortunate enough to not escape in time. One brave soul came right up to him and looked him in the eye.
“Just who do you think you are coming in here and attacking us like that? And what is with that hideous mane?”
Diamond Tiara had sealed her fate the instant she chose not to flee for her life. The alicorn grabbed both sides of her face and delivered a head butt that was responsible for the creation of the Grand Canyon. Diamond Tiara screamed in agony before spontaneously bursting into flames. Her crispy form fell uselessly to the ground.
Suddenly, Jargon Von Invincible was no longer hungry. He departed from the schoolhouse as quickly as he had arrived, leaving the survivors both mortified and confused.
“Sister…”
“I know.”
“But, he’s…”
“I know!”
Luna and Celestia could feel their brother’s energy growing stronger as he gradually made his way through the town of Ponyville and closer to Canterlot. The only sense of reprieve the princesses got was that Twilight Sparkle and her friends had come to Canterlot for Twilight’s birthday. There was still hope to stop their brother.
Celestia sighed and looked down at the little village that rested at the foot of the mountain. Fires sprung up from seemingly nowhere while the collective screams of the townsponies could be heard all the way to Canterlot. Explosions overtook buildings and ponies and then, all at once, the town crumbled to pieces, leaving nothing but piles of rubble and a thick dust clouds in its place.
The princess retreated back into her castle and exited the observatory room. She march down the halls and passed the many royal guards who respectfully bowed at her presence. She entered the dinning hall to find Twilight and her friends enjoying the many delicious treats that Applejack and Pinkie Pie had taken the time to make. They chatted happily, stopping only to listen to one another’s jokes before bursting out in a fit of laughter. Celestia quietly approached the table, her somber face prompted Twilight to turn to her.
“Princess Celestia? What’s wrong?”
“WE ALL GON DIE.” she blurted out, causing the other girls to look at her.
Celestia recomposed herself and sighed. “I’m sorry Twilight that was rude of me, but I need you and the girls to wield the Elements of Harmony once again. A new threat has emerged.”
“A new threat?”
“My brother.”
The girls all gasped in unison. “You, have a brother?” questioned Rarity.
“Yes, but that isn’t what’s important at the moment. He is currently making his way here, to Canterlot. He must be stopped, and I believe that you girls are the only one that can accomplish this task.”
The other ponies couldn’t help but look at each other in both shock and despair. Did Celestia really want them to attack her own brother?
“Quickly, there is no time. All of you, go get the elements!”
As they left their spots at the table and galloped out of the room, Celestia could hear a loud rumbling sound coming from outside of the castle. The power she had been feeling was at its peak.
“He’s here.”
With the force of ten thousand furious suns, the wall of the dining hall blew apart, sending debris and bits of food from the girls’ party all over the room. Behind the cloud of dust and smoke that had formed, Jargon Von Invincible hovered lightly, his immaculate wings keeping his hooves from touching the ground.
“MY NAME IS ~~SKRILLEX~~ JARGON VON INVINCIBLE AND I HAVE COME FOR YOUR THRONE CELESTIA!”
“Over my dead b—” and with that Jargon broke her neck.
The girls returned to the room; their respective elements clung to their bodies. Their eyes widened in horror as the princess lay still in front of them.
“No, no NO!” Twilight screamed. “You will pay for this! Girls, get him!”
The Elements of Harmony glowed brilliantly and swirled around them. Suddenly, a powerful rainbow beam, not unlike the one that defeated Nightmare Moon, shot out and completely engulfed Jargon. When the spectacular beam faded, Jargon could be seen standing in the same place, seemingly untouched.
“But, but how?! The Elements of Harmony can conquer any evil!”
Jargon raised his hoof to his chin and scratched it, deep in thought.
“You have proven your worth to me!” he said. “I shall make all six of you my wives!”
It was then that polygamy became legal and each of the girls became forcibly married the powerful alicorn, who proceeded to rule over Equestria with an unwavering grace until the end of all days.
