I dragged my sorry ass through the streets of Canterlot, sore as all hell, stiff joints, and my ass hurt. "Joseph!" Course, It's about to get worse. "You were supposed to attend the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel yesterday, and showcase the Valhalla line I created!" Rarity huffed at me as I approached her new shop.

"Sorry," I cracked my neck and had a twinge of pain. "Something came up that needed my attention down south."

Seeing the state I was in, Rarity took pity on me and gestured me inside. "At the very least come inside and regal me with the tale. Sassy Saddles just made tea."

"Who?" I asked while following her inside.

Two days earlier

"How goes the new job, Jack?" I asked my son as we sat down for dinner.

"It's good so far. Keeping the peace in this town comes easy when you can chase down any lawbreakers with ease," Jack said while twirling his pasta. "The only downside is the paperwork. Actually had to bring some home with me."

"Welcome to the workforce, honey," Tia told Jack while eating her pasta.

"Yeah, though there is something strange about some of these reports." Jack brought out a file and started flipping through it. "There's this stallion, charged with robbery and battery. He gets two years in a slammer down south, but that was nearly six years ago. Since then, he's been in several fights and been in the infirmary twenty times a year. And the strangest thing is, the prison never issued for a parole date."

"Let me see that." I took the folder from Jack and gave it a once over. "Any more files like this?"

Jack searched the pile and handed me five more files similar to the first one. One of them was sentenced to three months on a theft charge, but that was four years ago. Another was given three years for fraud and is still incarcerated after twelve years. The worst was a criminal who robbed a bank and had twelve years but was killed in a prison fight. And each of them was sent to the same place. Parish Prison. "Is everything alright, sweetie?" Luna asked me.

"No. No, this isn't right at all." I took the files and set them in my bag. "These cases have either been tampered with or the warden is hiding something, and I'm going to find out what."

"You don't mean to go now, do you?" Tia asked in concern.

"No, first thing in the morning, I'll head down south. But first, I want to finish dinner and then head to bed."

The Next Day

I was on the train to New Horseleans with the documents in hand. I was looking over them as well as a bio on the warden. He's a portly earth pony stallion, who started as a guard and worked his way up to warden. Been the Warden of Parish Prison for thirty years and has an impeccable record. His official name is Prison Bar, but the guard and inmates call him Ol' Red.

"This guy a Blake Shelton song?" I asked myself while taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Soon, the intercom came on. "Approaching New Horseleans station. Doors will open in 10 minutes."

I got up and grabbed my overnight bag. "Hey, look!" I looked around for who said that and saw a small colt pointing up at me. To my surprise, it was Scoots' friend from school, Button Mash. "It's King Joe! You're King Joe!"

"That's me. How you doing, Button?" I asked the little earth pony colt.

"I'm doing good. About to blow your old high score out of the water," He boasted.

"Ha! Impossible. Only I hold the title of Galaga champion," I joked with him. "So, what brings you out here?" I asked as we pulled into the station.

"I came to see my dad," He told me while getting his stuff. "I haven't seen him in years and mom won't take me to see him."

"His mom is juicy! And I mean that in both senses of the word," I heard Venom say. And I had to agree, Cream Heart looks like a tasty Milf.

"So why didn't your mom take you to see your father?" I asked.

"Well. It's because he's in prison." And just like that, it all started to make sense.

I knelt down and placed my hand on his shoulder. "You might want to come with me. We're... we're heading to the same place." I led him off the train and we started for the prison.

After walking through the city, Button and I made it to the prison. As the guard was going through our stuff, I saw that Button had a picture of him as a foal, his mother, and his father. To my disappointment, his father is one of the convicts in the files. Poor kid.

"Your ma know you're here, Button?" The guard asked, clearly concerned for his safety as he finished inspecting his things.

"No, and I'd like to keep it that way." Button replied as he retrieved the picture and tucked it safely back in his wallet.

"Your funeral kid," The guard said with a snarky attitude.

"Hey!" I got the guard's attention. "He's with me. No need to scare the kid." I led Button over to the visitor's room. "Button. I gotta tell you something." We sat down and waited for his father to arrive. "I think your father may be part of a corrupt system, and I'm gonna try and see if I can get him out."

Button looked at me in disbelief before smiling. "You think you can get him out of prison?"

"I'm gonna try my best," I told him as a guard came in to escort the prisoners.

"Then, then that means he can come home. We can be a family again!" He cheered as his father, 8 Byte came in.

His file said he's a pegasus who used to repair arcade games. Then he got caught taking parts to make his own machines and games. He was given two years for damaging property and making an illegal start-up business.

His picture had him as a regular-looking guy with a cutie mark that looked like the spaceship from Space Invaders. But prison must've changed him a bit. His features had hardened, and he had a scar along his muzzle. But the minute he saw his son, it all disappeared and he ran to hug his son. "Button! It's so good to see you!"

"Dad!" Button was beyond happy to see his father even as he looked at his grizzled face.

Byte hugged him tight with the happiest smile he's had in a long time no doubt. "You know your mom said you can't come here."

"I don't care, dad. I wanted to see you." Button protested as he kept his grip on his father.

Byte took a few moments to look at how much his son had grown when he noticed a feint bruise around his eye. "What's this? Have you been getting into fights?" Button looked down in shame, already admitting his guilt as his father gave him a scolding look. "Son, what have I told you about starting those?"

"I didn't start it okay?! Those jerks were calling you a crook and that mom was a whore!" Button snapped.

Byte went and hugged his son as he started to cry in his chest. "Your mother isn't a whore. She's the best mare that ever came into my life, and you need to listen to what she says." After he hugged Button, he finally noticed my presence. "Um, son. Why is the king here?"

"I met him on the train. He said he was coming here for an investigation," Button revealed.

I looked back to see if the guard was listening. When she wasn't, I had a bubble of silence around us. "Byte, may I call you Byte?" He nodded. "Okay, Byte. It's come to my attention that the Warden is running a shady operation here. Holding prisoners longer than they should. I'm here to find out why and for what purpose."

Byte looked a bit nervous as he looked over at the guards. Even though we were under a bubble of silence, he still felt the need to whisper. "It's not right what he's doing. He has the guards riling us up to pick fights with them, to which we get beaten. He has prisoners on payroll to fight the new fish and anypony he wants to recruit."

"Recruit? Recruit for what?" I kept an eye on the guards in case they were getting suspicious.

"There's a cabin out near the swamps. They take two of us that he's declared worthy and pit us against each other." Button gasped at what his father said. "He has his country club friends watch and bet over who'll win. Sometimes... sometimes the loser doesn't get back up."

I couldn't believe this. It's bad enough these guys were being held longer than the courts deemed necessary. But forced to fight for the entertainment of self-entitled dicks. Almost reminded me of the arena in the Griffon Empire. After giving it some thought, I had a plan. "Have you been to this cabin before?"

"I have, That's how I got this scar." Byte points to his muzzle.

"Would you be able to lead us to the cabin?"

"No. The carriage he had us in was covered, so we wouldn't know the way." Fuck.

"What about the carriage? Would you be able to recognize it?" Please know what it looks like.

"Without a doubt, Your Highness." Byte gave me a smirk. A smirk I knew all too well.

I nodded before canceling the bubble and we headed for the main gate, something the guard took immediate notice of. "Excuse me! Your Highness! Sire, you can't just-"

"Tell the warden to meet me at the front. We have much to discuss." I told the guard before I continued to escort Button and Byte toward the main hall.

We waited a few minutes at the security checkpoint for the Warden to show up. Meanwhile, Button and Byte were catching up for lost time. "You know. I met your mother at an arcade. I saw someone beating my high score at Highway Crossing Frog and went to confront them. Little did I know, the pony in question was a mare. After she beat my score, I asked her to play Royal Rumble with me. We must have gone through at least 30 bits and I got beat every time." He started to chuckle. "It was love at first sight."

"Wow. Mom beat your ass at video games?" Byte laughed at that and hugged his son.

Just at the height of the moment, a pudgy Eaarth Pony with a Southern Warden hat on came bursting in. "What in the Tartarus is going on around here!" He and a hound dog made their way over to Byte. "Someone wanna tell me why this prisoner is here and not in the yard?!"

"I'm the reason why." I walked up to the Warden with Byte by my side. "I'm taking this prisoner with me, and he's being given a royal pardon."

"A pardon!?" He yelled before he remembered who he was talking to. "Ahem, uh, what I meant to say was, this stallion still has a ways to go before he pays his debt to society, uh, Your Highness."

"I'm aware he has a few years to go, what with all the fights he's started with the guards and other prisoners. But here's the thing. I'm the King, and I say he's out of here." I patted his cheek and turned to leave. "If you have a problem, write a complaint and I'll toss it in the trash." And just like that, we were out of there.

I sat at an outside table at a cafe beside the prison. Why they thought it was a good idea to have a cafe so close to a prison is beyond me. But at the moment, it gave Byte and me the chance to wait for the carriage to arrive, and I'm thankful for it.

We sent Button back home as we staked the prison. "When can we expect the carriage to arrive?" I asked while sipping my coffee.

"Should be here soon. The fights happen as soon as the sun goes down," Byte told me as we kept a watchful eye out.

As the sun set near the Ozarks and the mist set in, we saw an armored carriage pulled up by two sketchy-looking Earth Ponies. They went around back and Byte got up from his chair. "That's the carriage. Come on!"

"Hold on, you didn't finish your muffin," I pointed out.

"Silence you fool! It can be ours!" I heard Venom say before he grabbed the muffin in a tendril and had me eat it.

After wiping off the crumbs, Byte and I followed the carriage as it left the prison. We followed it through town, ducking behind a few corners now and then. Once we were out of the city, we had to stay back a ways, so we wouldn't be spotted in case one of the stallions pulling the carriage, decided to look back.

"Um, your Highness?" Byte caught my attention as we hid behind a log. "Why don't we just take them now?"

"That thought had occurred to me. and we'd get evidence against the prison and Warden for sure. But you said he had some rich buddies that could slip away and just start another fight club somewhere else."

Byte nodded in understanding before we went after it again. We had to dodge a few gators and avoid a couple of quicksand beds, we came upon a large wooden cabin. "Here it is."

"Okay. We'll wait for nightfall and the others to arrive, then hit it." We sat against a large tree and waited for Tia to set the sun.

"This place is creepy as fuck. It's like some kind of witches hovel." Byte groaned.

"Probably how they kept kids from going in when there weren't any fights going on," I told him before biting into my jerky.

Soon, night fell and lights and noises started to come on in the shed. "It's starting." Byte and I got up from the ground and went over to the window. The inside was a lot cleaner than the outside, with bleachers to the back, a ring in the middle, and one of the meanest-looking hound dogs I've ever seen chained in the corner.

"Okay, I'll go in and-"

"We." I stopped to look at Byte. "We'll go in and take them down."

"It'll be dangerous. You may not come out in one piece." I tried to explain, though he seemed to be staring daggers at Red.

"That bastard took years out of my life in this hellhole, and they laughed at me! I want to feel his teeth break as I beat the living shit out of him!" Byte continued as the fight was about to start.

"Wow. Glad you weren't charged with murder. Okay, you can come with, but leave most of the fighting to me." He agreed as we waited for the fight to begin.

Soon, Red went to the center of the ring and brought two convicts with him.

A Pegasus pony marched up to one corner of the ring. His wings had multiple scars and feathers missing but looked strong enough to whip up a tornado with a single flap. He had no mane, and the hair on his tail was cut down to the nub. The stallion cracked his neck, and even his wings somehow, as he glared at everyone around him.

“That’s Scortch Breeze,” Byte muttered to Joe. “He’s in for arson by starting fires in the middle of wooded areas and whipping up fire tornados.”

Next came an earth pony stallion arguably bigger and burly as Big Mac. When he hopped in the ring, he smiled revealing both his upper and lower front teeth were replaced with metal teeth.

“Ooh…and that’s Buckshot,” Byte said. “He used to be a professional wrestler until he lost the championship way back when. Heard he was so pissed for losing that he tackled the guy who beat him and bit his windpipe out from his neck, killing the poor bastard. Buckshot tore out both sets of front teeth in the process, and is serving a life sentence.”

"Oh! They look tasty! Can we eat them?" I heard Venom say in my head.

"Let's finish the mission first, then snacks," I thought before nodding to Byte. "I'll barge in through the front, you come in through the side."

"Okay, but leave Red to me. I wanna kick his ass and turn his teeth into a necklace," Byte told me in a cold tone while still glaring at the Warden.

Speaking of, the Warden went into the middle of the ring and put a chain on each of their necks and had it connected with a chain. "Is that normal?"

"In here, happens way too often," Byte said as the cheering started as the fight began.

Scorch took to the air, dragging Buckshot along for a small ride. Buck grabbed the chain with his teeth and pulled hard, dragging him down to the ground so they could duke it out with their hooves. "Alright, time to strike." Byte went off to the side entrance while I went up to the front door. With a raised leg, I kicked the door in so hard, it flew off and knocked out a pony that reminded me of Boss Hog. "Knock knock."

"It's a raid!" A skinny stallion said before they all tried to run for the exit. Before they could even get out of their seats, I snapped my fingers and a wall of fire surrounded them.

"Hey now, exit's over here, fellas," I told them before opening a portal to the Canterlot Dungeons. "No rush. Not like the place is on fire or anything."

"Hold it!" The warden called out as he came marching up with Button in his hooves. "Let's not do anything hasty now."

"Button!" Byte yelled as his anger spiked.

"Sorry Dad..." Button apologized. How the hell did he get here without me noticing?

"You son of a bitch! Let my boy go or I'll tear you a new asshole!" Byte roared as he charged at the warden, only to freeze when he brought his son closer to the fire.

"Don't think I won't do it, boy!" Red backed away towards a window with Button in his grasp. "Here's what's gonna happen! This colt and I are getting the hell out of this matchbox. And if you or that dog tries to follow me, I'll feed this little snack to the gators."

"Dad! Help!" Button squirmed and begged for help.

"Shut it, boy! Or I'll snap that neck of yours!" Red barked.

"You wouldn't dare!" I roared while wolfing out.

"Try it you filthy mutt!" Red barked back. "You think you freaks can just come here and destroy what I built from the ground up!?" He then chuckled darkly. "I make ten grand a week with these fights. I got more money than three mayors put together! You may have put my best customers away, but I'll just rebuild!"

"Not if he's got anything to say about it," I said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah! And who's gonna stop me!?" Red soon heard a growl to his right. When he looked, he saw his faithful hound dog snarling and baring its fangs at him.

"Cujo?" Red asked as his grip on Button loosened. "Why you growling at me like that?"

"He's tired of your shit," I told him before breaking the dog's chain. "Keeping him locked up here and neglecting to feed him has really pissed him off." I gestured for Cujo to attack, and he went right for the bastard's fat gut.

As the warden screamed in pain, Button was able to slip away and reunite with his father. "Aaaagh! Get him off me! Bad dog! Bad dog!"

Whistles

Cujo ceased his attack so I could grab Red by his neck. "Warden Red, you have been found guilty of corruption and murder of inmates under your care. I should have you locked up in the prison where you screwed everyone over." I then licked my lips. "But my friend is very hungry."

"F-f-friend? What friend?" Red asked fearfully as Venom came forth. "Fucking Celestia!"

We let out a growl as the blood kept wafting into our nose. "Eyes, lungs, pancreas! So many snacks, so little time!" Without missing a beat, We outstretched our mouth and swallowed the Warden whole, feasting on his bones and surprisingly savory meat. "Mmm, delicious."

Present

"So after my snack, I brought Byte and Button home. Cream was mad as hell with the both of them, but after I explained everything to her, she forgave her husband, and Button was given a two-week grounding, instead of the rest of his life," I explained to Rarity and Sassy, whom I might add were captivated by the whole thing, as well as horrified, no thanks to Venom.

Sassy put her tea down and leaned forward a bit. "And what of the spectators at that horrible fighting ring?"

"Let's just say they're going to be in dire straights once their finances plummet," I smirked as I sipped my tea and Venom helped himself to a chocolate eclair.

"Not to mention, we ate the ones who had no problem trying to carry on this lousy excuse for entertainment." He said with chocolate dripping between his teeth.

Rarity and Sassy felt uneasy about Venom's statement. So much so that Sassy excused herself. "I believe we require some more tea cakes." She got up from her seat and retreated to the back.

"Ahem. A little too much information, darling," Rarity said while setting her tea aside.

"Right, sorry. Speaking of sorry, do you still want me to show off your Valhalla line?" I asked, hoping to make up for my absence.

"The thought is appreciated, but luckily, your son was able to showcase for me. Octavia found the show very pleasing. She bought the first suit for him." I can only imagine why.

I got up and set my cup on the table. "Well. I'm glad that's settled."

"Indeed. Though I wish you'd remember your prior engagements before going off on an adventure." Rarity reminded me before taking the tea to the small kitchen.

"I'll be sure to remember that." I gave Rarity a one-armed hug before heading out the door. As I walked down the street, Venom got my attention. "Well. What should we do before heading home?"

"The way I see it. We can do whatever we want." Venom answered before we spotted Joe's Donut shop. "Donuts!"

Author's Note

Worked hard on this, and got the idea from the famous 80s TV show, The A-Team.

Hopefully, the next chapter will be as good as the next.