Wolfman of the Multiverse.

by Ghost Warrior

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Other, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Sex, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 55312

The adventure continues, as our favorite Lycan and overall badass, visits new and strange places.

Following the events of the first story, Joe continues his journey throughout the world of Equestria and beyond. He'll meet new and old friends, face dangers he never thought possible, and find more love.

This is a direct sequel to https://www.fimfiction.net/story/403475/the-wolfman-of-ponyville

Had to change the cover image.

Published 2023-01-22 07:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-19 15:19:20 UTC

Matrimony of the Sun

"Alright! I want everyone geared up and ready to move in twenty!" I yelled upstairs from my living room while I geared up myself.

"Coming down in a sec, Pop!" I heard Orion say from upstairs.

"Tex, I got the ordinance," Swagger said while coming through the door with a suitcase.

"Excellent. How long until the other two get here?" I asked while double-checking the supplies.

"On your six," I heard Discord say as he appeared with Mac in the living room. "We good to go?"

"As soon as my sons get their rears in gear!" I shouted upstairs, hoping the boys would get down here in time. A portal opened and my boys appeared fully dressed for what was to come. "About time."

"Hey, we had to make sure we had everything," Jack told me before placing his bag on the coffee table, along with Orion.

"Alright, it looks like we have everything we need." I looked at the guys that surrounded the coffee table before smirking. "Let the bachelor party begin!" I shouted as Swagger brought out the Jagermeister and Discord conjured the shot glasses.

"Oh, I so love bachelor parties! The music, the fun, the dancers~?" Discord wiggled his eyes at the boys before they suddenly laughed. "What? Don't they usually have dancers at bachelor parties?"

"I think the term you're looking for, is strippers," Swagger told Discord before lifting his drink to give a toast. "As I am the Best Man, it is my duty to give the starting toast." We all raised our glasses with his. "To the best friend, a marine could ever ask for. He pulled me out of some tough shit over the years and introduced me to the love of my life. And now, he marries the mare who's carrying his child tomorrow. To Joe and Celestia!"

"Skald!" We all said before taking the first, but certainly not the last, drink of the night.

"Alright, to Vegas!" I cheered before opening a portal to Sin City.

When we went through the portal, it was nearing the evening and we started for Ceasers Palace. Discord did the honors of conjuring the disguises for him, Spike, and Big Mac. When we entered the hotel, we got our original Vila suite and headed up to the room.

"Ahh Vegas. The city of sin, how I have missed you. The buffets, the music, the obviously rigged slot machines."

"And the craps tables!" Swagger added while tossing his coat and hat on a nearby rack.

"You know, I'm starting to remember something," We heard Discord say as he looked at the hot tub. "Yep, I puked in there after my fourth bottle of Vodka."

"Okay, guess we're not using the hot tub for the rest of the trip," Spike said while fixing himself a drink. "So, what's the plan?"

"First, we have dinner at Bazaar Meats, we gamble till Midnight, then we turn in," I told them before grabbing a beer from the bar. "And let me make one thing clear. We don't have a repeat of Shinings bachelor party."

"Speaking of, how come he's not here with us?" Mac asked me as he took a straight shot of Jack.

"He felt he might wind up on a roof again." My answer made everyone laugh. "Also, he and Cadance are trying for a foal. So when it comes to hanging with us and fucking a baby into his wife, I can't really blame him." They all nodded in agreement before we went to get dressed for dinner.

"I wonder what tonight's floor show will be?" Discord asked while reading a pamphlet he got from the lobby.

"I'm more curious about what's at the buffet." Spike slurped his lips in anticipation.

"I just want a drink," Mac said when Swagger suddenly snickered.

"Um hate to break it to you Mac but a buff farm boy like you will be a regular chick magnet so I suggest you brace yourself."

"Hey, wouldn't be the first time a single guy got some action while at another man's bachelor party," I joked before patting his back. "But if you do pick someone up here, make sure you have your wallet safe, the girl is clean, and most importantly, make sure the chick isn't a dude."

At this thought, Mac shuddered when he remembered Shining Armor's bachelor party.

"Alright, enough gabbing! Let's PARTY!!" Swagger shouted while leading us out the door.

Once we got to the main floor, we saw that the stage was putting on a magic act while a giant monitor overhead showed the audience tonight's title match and even displayed the odds as customers were placing bets.

"If this wasn't a special night, I'd stay to watch the match!" I shouted over the clamoring voices as we made our way to the Caesars Palace Casino.

Once there, we all went to either the craps table or the blackjack table. After a few hours, we all lost and gained a fortune at least half a dozen times before getting something to eat.

After getting our fill of the buffet, we headed for the floor show. Lucky for us, the floor show was Nickleback, so we had the time of our lives for the night.

During the party, several cocktail waitresses came to our booth and flirted mostly with Big Mac as they left multiple signals with one of them pulling out a piece of paper from her cleavage and slipping it into his shirt pocket. "Here's my apartment number and the code, feel free to drop by some time~." She winked before leaving with a sway in her hips.

As Mac watched the waitress leave, Jack patted his back. "Go for it, Uncle Mac. We'll get you in the morning."

"I don't know, it feels rude just to leave in the middle of the party," Mac said before seeing the waitress call two of her friends over as she pointed him out. "I'll be back in the morning." His tune quickly changed before he downed his drink in one shot and left.

"Hopefully he takes my advice," I told the group before taking another drink. "Wouldn't want to find him in a ditch with an STD."

"Yeah, Mom Mom would kill Mac for that," Orion said before finishing off his drink. "Though speaking of. Dad, I have a question for you."

"If it's you asking me if it's too soon to have sex with your girlfriend, then all I have to say is as long as you both agree and are ready, then by all means. Just use a condom or protection spell. The same goes for you, Jackie-boy," I told my sons as another round of drinks was placed on our table.

"Thanks, I'll remember that for tomorrow." This caused most of us to do a spit-take at Orion's answer.

After coughing a bit, I looked at my eldest son. "Well, I'm glad that you're taking your next step as a man."

"I'm doing more than that. I'm moving in with her." Another spit-take. "What a waste of alcohol."

"Son. Don't you think that's moving a little too fast? I mean, you only went on a few dates with her."

"I know, dad. But I love her and want to live with her. Besides, with Mama Celestia and her baby on the way, you'll need all the room you can get," Orion said back.

"Bro. We have plenty of space. Also, wouldn't that mean you'd be living in the mirror verse?" Jack asked his brother.

"Well yeah but I still won't be gone forever, I'll be sure to drop by now and then so I can spoil my new sibling!" Orion smirked while I wiped the drink from my mouth.

"Well I respect your decision but if anything goes wrong, don't hesitate to come home for help."

"Thanks, Pa," I patted my son's shoulder before we started to drink again.

The next morning

I woke up as the sun hit my face. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the hot tub with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand. "Aw, shit. It happened again!"

"Dammit! Not so loud!" I heard Discord say, ironically from the same chandelier from the last time. He shifted a little before falling flat on his face on the floor. "Fuck!"

"Crap, it happened again," I heard Spike say as he came out from his room with a lampshade on his head. "Somebody check the bathroom for wildlife, 'cause I ain't doing that shit again."

"Quit your belly aching, I got it," Jack said after getting up off the couch in nothing but a window curtain.

"Ohh...I feel like I got my head in a vice..." Orion groaned before seeing he had a black lace thong in his hand. "This better not be what I think it is..."

"Worry about it later. Right now, we have," I looked over at the clock to see what time it is. "Fucking three hours before the wedding!" I jumped out of the tub and looked around for my clothes. "We gotta get the fuck outta here!"

"Right behind ya, Pa," Jack said while getting his clothes on. "I'll go find-"

Clack We turned to the door and had to stop ourselves from bursting out laughing. Mac came in the door, his face covered in lipstick kisses, the clothes he came with were replaced by a cocktail dress that was way too small for him, and to top it off, he had a tattoo on his right arm with the name Beatrice on it. "Not one word."

"Well, look on the bright side. At least you didn't lose a tooth." We all laughed at the expense Mac went through.

"At least you had a good time, Uncle Mac," Jack commented before looking at his brother, who just kept looking at the lace thong in his hand. "You alright, brother?"

"I don't think so. I woke up with these in my hand and I have no idea who they belong to. What's worse, I cheated on Sunset." Time to go comfort my son.

"Boy. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But, if you explain it to her gently, and apologize out the ass, then I'm sure she'll forgive you." I patted his shoulder before handing him his suitcase. "Now come on. We gotta get going."

We all got dressed, paid our hotel bill(Which was twenty thousand dollars), and opened a portal home. After making it inside the house, my daughter, Scoots, barreled into me. "Hey, dad! How was the party?"

"Wild, to say the least," I said while noticing Mac cover his right foreleg where the tattoo was. "How about you? Did you behave for your Mom Mom and Pop Pop?" Scoots nodded her head rapidly with a huge smile on her face. "That's my girl."

Woof!

"Hey, Herc," Jack greeted the family dog when he came over for some attention. "Good boy."

"Uhh, guys," Swagger tapped his watch to show we were running out of time.

"Right. Come on, let's get dressed." We all went to our rooms or house to get dressed.

At the altar

For the second time in my life, I stood at the altar, waiting for my bride to walk down the aisle. This time, my wife Luna stood at the podium to marry me to her sister, while my wife Jackie, was her maid of honor.

As for me, Swagger was my best man, Spike was the ring bearer, and Discord was the Dj for the reception.

This time, we were in Canterlot Castle for our wedding, the same as Shining and Cadance's wedding. Hopefully, this won't end with a Changeling invasion or another Caribou attack.

Orion was feeling nervous next to Sunset and I couldn't blame him, and to be honest, I was afraid he would puke in the middle of the ceremony.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Sunset asked my son who was sweating up a storm.

Orion took a calming breath before taking Sunset's hand and kissing her cheek. "I'm fine. Or at least... Sigh Let's take about this after the ceremony, okay?"

"Okay, hehe. Whatever you say, babe," She told him before kissing his cheek, making my boy smile for a moment before he slumped in sorrow.

"What's the matter with our son?" Luna whispered over to me.

"Something that happened during the bachelor party," I told her while watching my son squirm in his seat. "I'll talk with him if things take a turn for the worse."

"Thank you, dear," Luna told me before the music began. "It's time."

As the music played, the CMC walked down the aisle as the flower girls again. I wouldn't be surprised if they got their Cutie Marks for this. When they were done, Celestia came out through the doors and we had to hold our breath at how stunning she looked. "Wow. I can't believe I'm marrying her."

In true royal fashion, the guards made an archway of spears as Celestia stepped up to the podium with her signature smile as everyone gazed in awe at her beauty. When both of us stood before Luna, we both began to exchange our vows in front of everyone at the ceremony.

Celestia went first. "Joe. From the moment I met you, I had a feeling we'd become close. At first, I thought we'd just be friends. But then, over time, the feelings I had for you grew into so much more. I confess I was afraid to admit my feelings at first, but then your father, a great man, told me to take that leap." She took my hand in her hoof and smiled sweetly at me. "I'm glad I took his advice."

"Very good, sister," Luna told Celestia before turning to me. "My love?"

I nodded before looking into Celestia's eyes. "Celestia. You were the first pony I've met, so I can say this with all honesty. You are quite the sight to see." This got the wedding party to laugh. "As I got to know you, I found you funny, charming, beautiful, smart, and as our time together continued, sexy." Another round of laughter. "As I promised Applejack and Luna, I promise to love you for all my days."

With our vows done, Luna continued the ceremony. "You may exchange the necklaces." Celestia gave me back the necklace Luna and Jackie gave me from my first wedding, while I gave her the one I proposed to her with, in Valhalla. Luna spread her wings before using the RCV. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife." She then talked in a normal voice. "You may kiss the bride."

"Don't have to tell me twice." I scooped Celestia off her hooves, being mindful of her condition, and brought her in for a deep and loving kiss.

While not exactly traditional, Celestia immediately threw the bouquet to her bridesmaids to wrap herself around me as we deepened our kiss and the girls immediately began shoving each other to try and catch it as a few of our friends and family began to laugh.

Despite all the fighting the bouquet landed in Sunset's lap. She took the flowers and leaned in on Orion with a big smile. This seemed to churn his stomach in knots, but he smiled anyway.

After our kiss, we looked deep into each other's eyes before following everyone out toward the ballroom for the reception.

Swagger then took center stage on the dance floor to give his best man speech while everyone took their seats.

"I would like everyone to please raise their glasses so that we may toast to the happy couple."

We all rose from our seats as Swagger went ahead with his speech. "I met this guy on Paris Island, and already I could tell he was gonna cause trouble." He paused for a bit of laughter. "In fact, the day before we were shipping out for leave, we went to Jacksonville and after a night of heavy drinking, this fool found himself passed out in the history museum. Guess he wanted to be with the other neanderthals." More laughter at my expense.

"But I wouldn't replace this guy for anything in the world." Swagger turned to Celestia and me as he raised his glass. "He had been a great friend and I know he will be a greater husband and if fate is willing, a damn good father." He said with a smile as he finished his speech. "Joe, Celestia. We wish you all the best in the years to come, may your days be filled with joy and happiness. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" We all raised our glasses and drank to our marriage.

After cutting the cake(Celestia's favorite part) we made our way to the dance floor for our first dance as husband and wife. "Alright, time to put a little Cream in this wedding," Discord joked before putting on the song.

Orion's POV

Despite the joyous atmosphere of the happy couple dancing on the floor, my stomach was in knots, and after what I did last night, how could it not be? Sunset; the love of my life was sitting right next to me with the brightest smile I've ever seen and yet I could not enjoy it. "Isn't this great?" Sunset asked me as we watched Dad and Celestia, my new mom, dance. "Though to be honest, I would've gone for music a little more romantic but this is okay too." Without a second thought, I chugged down my entire champagne glass and let out a quick burp before taking Sunset to a quiet part of the room while she looked at me in confusion. "Orion what's this-"

"I CHEATED ON YOU!!" I blurted out before she could finish her question.

"What?" She asked me in disbelief.

"Last night, the boys and I got drunk, brought some random girls over, trashed the hotel room and I woke up with some random girls thong in my hands!" I exclaimed before taking a deep breath to calm down.

"Was it a lace thong?" I looked up in confusion before seeing her smirk. "You brought me over to your party. But then we agreed it would be better if we waited for tonight." She then gives me bedroom eyes and leans forward into my ear. "And I gave you my thong as a little waiting present~." She took my hand and guided it down the front of her pants. Sure enough, she was not wearing anything.

"Hehe, guess I really did have too much to drink," I told her before bringing her in for a kiss. When we broke it, I saw that my hand was still in her pants. "I think we should head for a more private area."

"We can use my old room~," She whispered before guiding us away from the reception.

Sex

Sunset brought us to one of the rooms in the castle, and already I could tell, this was her old room from the smell of her perfume. Sunset took it all in before a single tear left her. "This place holds a lot of memories. A lot of them bad, but some good."

I came up behind her and hugged her around her waist before kissing her neck. "We can make some memories now."

"Mmm come here~." She purred and turned around to kiss me as we fell on her bed and began to undress each other. As we began to make love, all my worries instantly vanished as Sunset got on top of me and removed her shirt to reveal the black laced bra that matched her thong. "By the way, do you still have my undies~?" She asked playfully while reaching back for the clip.

I reached for my pants with my magic and pulled out her panties. "You mean, these ones~?" I asked while stretching them in front of her with my thumbs.

"Mmm, you'll be putting those back on me when we're done~." Sunset bit her lip as she got off me and turned around to slowly remove her pants with a mischievous giggle knowing I couldn't resist spanking her. Which I did with gusto as I left a red handprint on her right cheek. "Eee! bad boy~." She grinned before suddenly jumping back and pinning me down to the bed with her sexy ass planted in my face. "Here's your punishment~!"

"Punishment? Yeah, right~," I said before grabbing her cheeks and started licking up and down her pussy, making sure to nibble her clit gently with my teeth.

"Mmm!~ cheater~," Sunset whined as she undid my pants and rubbed her butt more against my face.

"Gods you are so sexy babe~." I huffed after feeling her lick my shaft slowly.

"Mmm bite me~." She hinted while patting her left cheek.

"Rrrrrr~!" I growled before biting down on her left ass cheek.

"Aaaa-Mrgh!" Sunset moaned before swallowing my shaft down her throat, getting me to hitch my breath.

I loved the taste of her ass, but I much prefer the taste of Sunset's pussy. Giving her right cheek a firm slap, I started eating her pussy again. Just for the occasion, I stuck a finger in and out of her ass.

"HMM?!? Mmm~!" Sunset yelped in surprise before going back to her task of sucking me off as she got me good and hard while I got her sopping wet, with the only thing stopping our moans from escaping the room were our own bodies pressed against each other. "Mmmnnah~! that's enough~." Sunset huffed but I was far from done sampling her. "Oh! Mmm, you really wanted this didn't you~?"

"You're one to talk~," I told her before flipping her on the bed and turning myself around so I could look into my lover's face. "Have I told you that you're the most beautiful creature in the world~?"

"I think you mentioned it~." She smirked up at me before we kissed again. When we separated, she licked my cheek. "Take me, stud~."

"With pleasure~." I positioned my cock to line up with her pussy lips before taking the plunge. The sensation we both felt was beyond pleasurable.

"AHN~! Mmmm~." Sunset purred as the bed began to shake and rattle while she clung to me and moaned in my ear.

"Rrrg, damn you're so tight babe~!" I told her as we kept fucking.

"Hah...ha...don't stop, fuck me til you're drained~!" Sunset moaned with her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

"That's the plan, babe~," I told her before going even faster and grabbing her breast. After a few thrusts, I thought of a wicked idea. "Ready for a surprise?"

"Ha.. ha... what kind of-Aaaahh~!" She didn't get to finish as I did a little trick I heard dad do with mom, and turned my cock into my Lycan cock, allowing me to knot her. "Ooooh, you beast~!"

"Knew you'd like it~," I told her before tugging at her walls, getting even more moans from her.

"Oh my god~! I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm glad you're here with me~," Sunset moaned as I licked her nipples.

"I was wondering how I met such a wonderful beauty such as you~," I told her before tasting her all over.

"Mmm, a horny wolf is devouring me~." She giggled before I turned her on all fours and began humping her like a real wolf. "Ohh that's it, babe, take me like I'm your bitch~!" She growled while I licked her neck and said.

"You are my bitch~!" I told her while spanking her ass.

"Mmm, spank your bitch~!" She said while shaking her ass a bit, making this feel even better.

"Oh yeah, this ass is gonna be red~," I told her before playing her ass like a bongo drum.

"Mmm pull my hair, I know you want to~." My girl moaned loudly as I grabbed a handful of her hair and kept on spanking her til her right cheek was completely red. "Ahh~!"

"Too much babe?" I asked out of concern.

"Mmm no keep going~!" She said as her tongue hung out.

"Rrrrr~!" I pulled her hair to the point she was on her knees and had her back to my chest. "Come here you beautiful bitch~."

"Ohhh fuck impregnate me~!" Sunset moaned whorishly while gritting her teeth but I knew she was on the pill and had been planning this since the bachelor party. "Keep pouring that baby batter into me until I look like I'm carrying a whole litter~!"

"Damn I love when you talk dirty~!" I growled as she moved a hand down to her stomach to feel my now enlarged dick bulging out of her. "Mmm we shouldn't take too long, I gotta be there for the family photo~." I huffed as she let out another moan.

"Just fill me and we can have a quick game of tug-o-war~." Sunset giggled before I let her drop to her hands and knees and got a firm grip on her ass.

"Oh yeah~! Feel the knot, baby~!" I told her before thrusting and tugging at her sweet pussy before I felt the pressure of my nut happening. "Here it comes~!" I released all I had into her pussy.

"Aaaah~!" Sunset moaned as she felt my seed enter her womb. Maybe someday, we'll do it for real. When I pulled out, a few extra spurts of cum landed on her ass while the rest flowed out of her pussy. "Mmm~. That was wonderful~." We shared a kiss before cleaning ourselves up.

"Oh, honey?" Sunset smirked as she handed me her thong. "Remember what I said~?"

I took the thong in my teeth and placed her thong on her, leaving kisses up and down her inner thighs. When her thong was on, I cuddled with her for a bit. "Love you, Sunny."

"Love you too, babe~." She told me before kissing my cheek and brushing my hair with her fingers.

End sex

When Sunset and I got dressed, I kissed her on the cheek and picked her up. "Tomorrow, I'll move my stuff into your apartment."

"Can't wait." She kissed my cheek before smacking my ass. "Now go take that picture with your new mother."

"Can do, sexy," I told her before heading out.

Joe's POV

"Where's that boy of ours? He's gonna be late for the family photo," I said while looking around for Orion.

"He'll be here honey," Luna said when we spotted him scrambling through the crowd and doing his best to fix up his suit.

"Excuse me, pardon me, sorry sorry!" He said to all the ponies while coming over to us.

"About time, where were you?" Luna scolded our son when she noticed his hair was a bit messy.

"I was um...busy," Orion said in a cryptic tone while adjusting his tie.

"Yeah," Jack sniffs Orion's way before smirking. "busy."

"Alright, enough talking, let's get this photo done." I brought my family close as Photo Finish set the camera up.

"Alright, let's make with the magics!" Photo said while taking the picture, capturing our family image for all time.

Author's Note

Alright! The first chapter of a new story and I feel great! I want to thank my League members for their support and help on the chapter.

One clip for a taste of what's to come.

Honeymoon on the Edge

"Alright, now are you sure we have everything?" Celestia asked me while packing her suitcase while laying down on the couch.

"Going over the list now, dear," I told Tia while looking through the list that Twilight was kind enough to make for us. Though I'm sure once a list has a content page and an about the author page, the list becomes a book. "Okay, we have our tent, air bed, canteens, snack cakes, food, and dimension key, and all of our work has been postponed for a full week. Am I missing anything?"

"Just the two of us," My beautiful bride said while picking me up in her magic and bringing me to her side. "Love, you."

"Love you too," I told her before we kissed.

"Alright, you two." Jackie came into the room with her famous apple pie and a smirk to go along with it. "Save that for when you go on your Honeymoon," She told us while placing the pie on the table.

"Sure thing, babe," I told her as we got up from the couch. "Mmm, I do love your pies, dear."

"They are delicious." Tia got up and got herself a slice of pie. "You know, you and Luna can come along, it doesn't have to be just the two of us."

"We appreciate the offer, sister," Luna said as she came downstairs and levitated a piece of pie over to her. "But this is your time with our husband. The only guaranteed alone time you'll have with him."

"So enjoy it while you can. Because once you two get back, he's for us to share," Jackie said, making me feel like a manwhore. Which I guess is true.

"And let's not forget the important part," Luna smirked before turning her attention back upstairs. "Children, Applejack made pie!" Like an avalanche, our kids came running down eager to get a piece of Jackie's pie for breakfast.

"Never fails. Your baking calls all the beasts from upstairs," I joked while getting myself a piece of the pie. As we ate our breakfast, I looked over at Orion. "So, you're moving in with your girlfriend today?"

"Yup," Orion said while his mothers shared a collective look of surprise.

"When did you decide this?" Luna asked while slicing up a piece for Scoots.

"At the bachelor party, dad and I talked and he said he was okay."

"That's a big step sugar cube," Jackie said as she fixed us coffee.

"I know, ma. But we all know that I will leave someday. The same goes for Jack one day," Orion said while pointing to Jack.

"Well, maybe one day," Jack said while finishing his pie.

"You still have me," Scoots reminded us, making me ruffle her mane.

"And you'll always be our little girl," Celestia told Scoots before kissing her cheek. "Now come on, it's almost time for school."

"Okay, mom." Scoots gave her mothers a kiss each, before heading out the door.

"Sigh our little girl is growing up." Jackie sighed as she watched our little girl leave for school.

"Now you two got nothing to worry about, we'll handle things here, you both go and enjoy yourselves," Luna assured us.

"Alright but call us if anything bad happens and I mean anything," I said while using my magic to summon our luggage.

"We'll be sure to, but I doubt anything will happen on our watch," Luna assured before kissing us both. "Now get going before I chase you out with a rolling pin."

"Alright, we get it." I took out my key and opened a portal to the land I had called the Edge.

We stepped through the portal and took in the wonders this land had to offer. "My god! This is so beautiful!" Celestia gawked while looking around the place.

"Knew you'd love it," I said while wrapping my arms around her. "Our own little slice of heaven just for the two of us."

"You spoil me." Celestia smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I believe that's in my job description," I smirked at her before picking her up bridal style. "Now, let's look for a place to camp." I unfurled my wings and took off with my wife wrapped around my arms and luggage in tow.

As we flew across this strange and wonderful land, we both had to wonder where the perfect spot to camp would be amidst the different landscapes and giant floating islands. After passing over a tundra, Tia pointed to our right. "Honey, land over by that lake. It has the most gorgeous view I've ever seen."

"As you wish," I told her before banking right and landing on the lake shore. After letting Tia down, I looked up at the sky and had to pick my jaw off the ground. "So beautiful."

"And it's all ours," Tia said while leaning against me as we watched the stars above us. After a few minutes, she pulled away from me and grabbed her luggage in her magic. "Come on. Let's find a place to pitch our tent." I went to follow her and saw her flag her tail a little, giving me a view of her goods.

"I've already got a tent pitching as we speak," I said under my breath before following her into the woods.

"Ohh so exciting! No paperwork, no daily complaints, and best of all the snacks we can eat!" Celestia squealed like a teenager as we came upon a clearing and began to set up camp. "Oh and Joe." She called to me while giving me a smirk. "You can do more than just look you know~."

"Oh, I plan to do more than just look, dear~," I told her before coming up and teasing her pussy with my fingers and kissing along her neck. "But first, let's get our tent pitched, then we can have our Honeymoon fun~."

"Mmm, let's hurry and get down to it then~," Tia said before getting our large tent ready.

"A bit excessive isn't it?" I asked after looking at the giant tent standing in front of me.

"It's the royal camping set," Celestia said while gathering some stones and sticks to make the campfire. "Shall I do the honors?" She asked when I held my hand up in a polite protest.

"A princess make a campfire? Not on my watch," I said while gathering the rest of the wood.

"Ohh such a gentleman." She teased while batting her eyes at me.

Tia went inside the tent while I gathered more wood for the fire. When the campfire was set to my liking, I lit a small flame at the end of my finger before flicking it onto the pit. Once the fire started going, I went inside the tent to see Tia laying atop the blow-up bed in a see-through lace nightie. "Well, guess we can skip dinner and dive into dessert~."

"Mmm~, you know me so well, dear husband~," Tia flirted. I removed all but my underwear and crawled into bed with my sun wife.

We shared a kiss before I laid my head against her belly. "Mmm, I'll always cherish these moments with you, Luna, and Jackie."

"Charmer~." She said as I got on top of her and gently felt her up. "Mmm~."

"My beautiful sun goddess." I smiled while kissing my way down her neck and towards her chest.

When I reached her growing belly, I stopped to feel the warmth and feel our child growing inside. "I know that my family bloodline has been boys for the last thousand years or so." I then rubbed her belly, feeling our child kick a little, making me smile. "But wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a little girl?"

Tia covered my head with her wing and hummed softly. "That would be a nice turn of events. And if we do, I know just what to name her."

"Oh? And what name would that be?" I asked her while looking at her purple eyes.

"Emily." Her answer shocked me a little as she chuckled.

"You want to name our child after my mother?" She nodded with a kind smile, which I returned. "Perfect. Though if it's a boy, I was thinking Arthur or something along those lines."

"It's a deal," She told me before pushing my head down a bit with a mischievous grin. "Now, my teats are swollen and need relief~."

"Mmm, I do feel thirsty~." I leaned down to her right teat and flicked her nipple with my tongue, getting her to moan before taking her whole teat and started suckling her milk. Tastes like coconut cake.

"Mmmm~." I could feel her getting aroused as her nipple hardened inside my lips while she did her best not to squirm or moan. "Ohhh better hope I don't act this way when our child nurses~." She joked before feeling me latch onto the other breast. "Ohh buck~."

I let go of her teat with a pop before licking the milk from my lips. "Would it help if I drank with the baby~?" I asked before receiving a small shove from her hind leg. "Better yet, I'll pleasure you after every feeding~."

"Mmm, there's an idea~." Celestia grinned before shoving me back down into her bosom. "Now fill up big boy, you're not getting any sleep tonight~."

"I can live with that, my beautiful goddess." I took another long drink from her teat before moving down lower. I took a moment to enjoy the sight of her juicy pussy before diving in and tasting her precious flower.

"Ahhn~!" Celestia's whole body jerked the moment she felt my tongue lap at her inner walls and was instantly writhing in pleasure with a crooked smile and her eyes rolled back. "Nnng I never get tired of you doing that~!" She moaned as I gave her clit a slow lick before biting down on her right breast. "EEP!"

"Mmm soft and juicy~," I smirked as I continued to lap at her snatch.

"Ohh no, a vicious predator is having his way with me~." I rolled my eyes as she played the damsel in distress card and just rolled with it.

"After I'm through eating this pussy. I'm gonna ram my cock in your royal pussy~!" I gave her pussy one more long, wet lick before coming up to her face and licking her cheek, getting her to grunt in mock disgust. "After I'm done with your royal fuck-hole, they'll never see you as a Princess again, but a cum dump for a beast like me~!" I growled down at her before removing my underwear and prodding my tip against her dripping lips.

"Mmm talk dirty to me more~." Celestia purred before I forced her into a kiss. "Mmm~!! Mmm~..." Her hooves wrapped around me like a snake coiling its prey showing she wasn't going to wait any longer and even gave me a hungry look as we broke the kiss to catch our breath.

"Cum dumps don't talk~." I then thrust forward, penetrating her love tunnel with my cock. "They moan like whores~!"

"Ahhh~!!" I smiled as Celestia arched her back and moaned loud enough for the whole forest to hear and sure enough the entire tent was shaking as I ravaged my new queen. "Ahh! You filthy beast!" Celestia smiled while trying to push me off. "Get off me this insta-AAAHH~!!" Her eyes rolled back as I hilted inside her for a few moments.

"Like that slut? I'll be doing this to you until you're begging for my cock~!"

"Ahhh you pervert~!" She screamed with her eyes rolling back again.

"I may be a pervert, but I know for a fact that you're a secret slut~!" I kept thrusting in my wife before leaning in to whisper. "I've seen your fantasies while you dream~."

"What lies are you-Ah fuck-are you spouting, brute~!?" Tia moaned as she started to drool from the pleasure.

"I know that you fantasize about your husband and your herd sisters, barging in while you're in court and pinning you down in front of the court and ravishing you in all your holes. And when it's all over, they leave you in a drooling, cum covered mess in front of everyone~," I told her with every thrust. And the best part is that it's true.

"Nnng if you think that's going to-AHN~!" She stopped midway as I hit her sweet spot and kissed her neck. "Oooh buck!

"Such a dirty mouth princess~." I grinned as I pulled out of her.

"Why did you stop?" Celestia whined when out of nowhere, I grabbed her head and forced my rod down her throat with a devilish look in my eyes.

"Suck it bitch~!"

"GLKK! MMM!!! Mmmm..." She gave a muffled giggle after adjusting herself.

"That's right~! You're no longer a princess~. You're just a cock hungry slut that loves to beg for my seed~." We were both enjoying our roleplay and continued to do so for about an hour or two.

After I was back in her pussy and pinching her nipples, I felt my climax approach. "Get ready to be stuffed and basted like a turkey, slut~!"

"Nnng fill me my master~!" Celestia smirked before panting like a beast in heat as she braced herself against me.

"Mmm, can we do this tomorrow~?" She asked as we neared the end of our session.

"We can, and we shall~." We kissed with our tongues battling for supremacy just as I couldn't take it anymore. "Here it comes, my queen~."

"Give me all you have, my king~," She moaned as I gave one last thrust into her pussy, cumming inside with giant ropes of seed. "Aaaaahhh~!" She screamed as I pulled out and started to jerk the last of my seed onto her pussy, teats, belly, neck, face, and mane. "Mmm, you made a real mess out of me~."

"You look beautiful to me, my queen~." She smirked up at me before wiping the cum off her face and licking it off. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"Mmm." Celestia and I snuggled as the last of the flames from our campfire dimmed out, leaving only the light of the full moon to shine down on us.

"I love you, Joseph." She sighed while snuggling in my arms.

"And I love you, Celestia," I told her while wrapping us with my wings and kissing her forehead. Soon, we both drifted into the embrace of sleep.

The next day

After a hearty breakfast, Celestia and I decided to take a walk in the woods and explore the land we were vacationing in.

I wasn't sure why but my new wife seemed more cheerful than usual as she skipped down the forest path but that kind of thing was expected after a night of passion on a honeymoon. Though as I continued to watch her, I deduced that she was a naturalist at heart. The way she'd stop to smell the wildflowers, run under the willow tree branches, and jumped in the small puddles said it all. "Haah! I just love the outdoors."

"Has a certain peacefulness you can't get indoors," I replied while grabbing a few wild blackberries from a bush. As we kept walking through the woods, we stumbled on the edge of the island we were walking on. "Guess this is as far as we go on this island."

"Oh, look honey!" Tia pointed to another island toward the bottom right. The island looked like a tropical paradise, complete with its own ocean. When we looked closely enough, we could see a pod of whales swimming in it. "Ooooh! Can we go there?"

"Of course, we can." Tia danced on her hoof tips in excitement before unfurling her wings. "Wait." She paused to see my smirk and bring a steel cable out of my bag. "I have another way for us to get down there." The smile she gave me could rival even Pinkie's.

"ZIPLINE!!!" Celestia yelled behind me as we ziplined down to the island below us.

"Haha! I knew you'd like this, babe!" I yelled back as we ziplined between miles of open air. As we got closer to the paradise island, we were joined by some very strange creatures that flew alongside us.

"Ohh space whales! Otherwise known as Orcas Galacticus," Celestia said with excitement while taking a few photos.

"You sound like twilight." I joked when a small one flew closer to us out of curiosity. "Well hey, there little fella."

The little whale gave an excited cry as it danced around us before its father called him back with a loud groan.

We watched the whales fly across the starry sky for what seemed like hours before the ground started to come up to us really fast. I was the first to land with a slight stumble. I turned around and caught Celestia, making me fall on my back with her on top of me. "Ooof!"

"Hehehe! Are you alright, sweetie?" Tia asked me while still on top of me.

"Yeah, I'm good." I looked up at her with a smirk before grabbing her flank with my hands. "Guess you'll be on top tonight?"

"Down, boy." She teased me before kissing my nose. "Come on, let's head for the water." She got off of me and ran for the beach and into the water.

I ran after her and jumped high into the air and curled into a ball. "Cannonball!" I splashed into the water next to my wife and created a giant wave. When I surfaced, I saw that I soaked Tia real good, and she gave me a deadpan look. "Sorry, babe."

Celestia continued her stare before she smiled and splashed me with her wing. "Now, we're even." She giggled before we swam toward each other and made out in the water.

We enjoyed each other's warmth as we continued to kiss and move towards a more shallow part of the lake where she flipped her mane back to create a rainbow above her. Instinctively, I quickly brought out my phone and took a quick photo, still stunned by her beauty as she batted her eyes at me.

"See something you like?" She asked while squeezing the water out of her mane and tail.

"You know I do." I got out of the water with her and we just laid down on the sand, enjoying the sea breeze and sun drying us off.

After a few minutes of us lying in the sand, letting the sand warm us up, I got up and went over to a coconut tree and pounded the trunk, getting two coconuts to drop. I turned one of my fingers into a claw and popped a hole in each coconut. I walked back and offered one to my wife. "Care to wet your whistle?"

"Thank you, dear," She took one of the coconuts with her magic and sipped the beverage. "Mmm, delicious." I sat next to her and she cuddled next to me. "Anything you want to do today?"

"All I really want to do is spend every moment we have here with you." She must've liked that answer because the next thing I know, she jumps on me and we start making out. When we separated, we watched the whales splash in the ocean while finishing our drinks.

Later

When we set up camp on the beach, Celestia got a bit more flirty than usual as she would brush her tail under my chin or walk past me with a sway in her hips and sometimes would purposely drop some firewood and pick it up slowly just to let her royal rump bounce around. Not that I minded of course. "Now let's see, where did I put those marshmallows?" She said in a casual tone while swishing her tail to and fro and humming a happy tune.

I came up behind her and squeezed her flank with both hands, making her squeal. "I don't know where the rest are, but I got two right here that I'm fixing to enjoy right now." I bent down and gave a little love bite to her left flank.

"Eeep!" Celestia giggled while gently shoving me back. "But before we start darling, I have a request."

"Oh?" I smirked as Celestia circled me while brushing her tail under my chin over and over.

"I know you can turn into anything but I was wondering...can you become a stallion?" She looked at me with bedroom eyes and continued to explain. "A big, strong, beefy, handsome stallion as tall as me and one who won't stop until both he and I are fully satisfied~?"

"You just wanna see how I look as an Equestrian."

"Very much so." She admitted with her tongue sticking out.

At first, I found the request a tad odd, but then I thought back to all the strange requests I made with my wives over the years, and thought why the hell not? "Alright, give me a sec and I'll be your stallion." I gave her a kiss before backing away a bit.

"Mmm, make yourself into a painted Mustang. Ever since we watched Hidalgo, I fantasized about that stallion~," Celestia moaned before lowering her head and swaying her hips.

"One painted mustang, coming up." I cracked my neck before getting on all fours. I let out a grunt as this was not as easy as going into my Lycan form. But with a little effort, my body started turning into a painted mustang stallion, the same size as my sun wife.

"Mmm, me likey~." Celestia purred and then laughed as I wiggled my eyebrows at her with a smug grin. "Oh stop!"

"Any other requests my lady?" I bowed to my wife, continuing our flirting as she trotted over to a more open spot of the camp.

"Giddy up~." She said while bending down slightly.

I let out a challenging snort before trotting over to my wife. I went and mounted her while my cock emerged from my sheath and slapped her on the cutie mark. She giggled a bit before taking hold of my cock with her magic and directing it to her pussy. As my flare pushed past her lips, we shared a quick nuzzle. "I love you, Tia."

"And I love you, stud~," She said before I fully inserted myself in her. "Ahhh~!"

"Nnng~! You feel a lot tighter this way~," I told her before thrusting in and out of her and having to shudder from the new experience of having a medial ring. "Oooh~! This is nice~."

"Mmm, you're a lot bigger in this form~," Celestia said as she bit her lip and moaned with every thrust that pushed all the way toward her womb. "Don't hurt the baby now~." She cautioned while looking back at me with a loving gaze.

"The baby will be fine. It's you that you need to worry about~," I told her before nipping her ear and thrusting harder.

"Eee! Such a wild stallion~." She grunted while feeling me slap against her rear. "Mmm, we should have the girls try this out~." She suggested as I hilted inside her after a good thrust.

"Rrrg I don't think they'd survive," I said before picking up speed.

"Nng, just keep fucking me, stud~!" Tia ordered as my balls kept slapping her teats.

"When I'm done with this pussy, our child will roll out when it's time~," I told her before holding her neck with my foreleg.

"Ohhh when you're done with this pussy, I might end up carrying two foals inside me~!" Celestia groaned as I let her have it and she let out a cute neigh that made my primal instincts kick in.

Snorting like the horse I've become, I thrust even faster and harder into my mare. After what felt like an hour of us fucking like wild horses on the prairie, I nutted deep inside my wife, letting out a loud whinny.

Both of us were in a new state of bliss as we collapsed on the ground and I retook my human form. After catching our breath, we quickly recovered and resumed making out once more as Celestia's moans were muffled by my kiss.

"Mmm, you're my new Hidalgo~!" She giggled before getting on top of me.

"And you're my beautiful sun goddess." Our make-out session lasted for four minutes before the tide came in and splashed us.

"AH! THAT'S COLD!!" Celestia screamed as I suddenly burst into laughter. "That's not funny!" She whined before another wave hit us.

"It's a little funny," I told her before seeing how cold she was and decided to do the right thing. I picked her up and headed for our tent. "Come on, we'll dry off by the fire and roast some actual marshmallows."

"That would be nice," Celestia said with a little shiver in her voice before giving me a smirk. "I can feel you groping me."

"Not my fault you got a marshmallow butt." I grinned as she gave me a peck on the cheek.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She asked me before nuzzling my neck.

"Easy, you brought me to you," My joke caused us both to laugh as we sat down next to the fire and roasted marshmallows.

After feeding each other smores, we watched the sunset over the water. "Mmm, you know what the nice thing about being here is?"

"Not having to control the sun and actually enjoy a sunset?" I asked as we cuddled.

"Exactly."

As we watched the last rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon, we fell asleep next to the fire and just slept under the stars.

The Next Morning

I woke up to the sight of Celestia's ethereal mane covering my vision, making me smile. When I looked down, I saw that she was still sleeping soundly against my chest. I smiled sweetly at her before gently waking her up. "Honey, wake up."

"Mmm, nooo... Five more minutes," She said in a groggy voice. Guess she really likes sleeping in.

"Alright, you sleep a little longer, and I'll get us some breakfast." I kissed her forehead before heading toward the beach.

I grabbed my axe from the camping gear and headed just further down from the camp when I spotted something disturbing. A large paw print was left in the sand and it seemed to have been made recently.

"A bear?" I asked myself while getting a closer look and scanned the area while listening for any distinct sounds but all seemed peaceful.

I took another quick sniff before following the scent. It led into the woods away from the camp. Satisfied, I dove into the water and went looking for some decent breakfast.

By the time I had gotten a big enough catch, Celestia had already finished making a stack of her signature pancakes and knew just how I liked mine.

"A little butter on top, some syrup, and finally blueberries." She hummed before noticing me walk out of the water with a large salmon. "Have a nice swim?"

"I did, even got lunch for later." I set the fish aside before sitting down next to my wife and took the offered plate. "Mmhm. Fluffy and delicious. I swear you get better each day, darling."

"Hmhm. Glad you enjoy it, honey," Celestia said while eating her own pancakes. After we each ate four plates of pancakes, she laid her head on my lap and hummed. "What do you feel like doing today?"

"Hmm, second to last day before we head back home. Plenty of islands to explore." I gave it some thought before it hit me. "I know, let me show you where I met Ash."

"Sounds lovely. Let me answer the call of nature and we'll head out," She told me before heading toward the forest.

"Alright. I'll get the tent packed up then." I got up and started packing everything up. After packing the last of the things, I went looking for my wife. However, when I heard her scream, I raced into the woods. "Tia!"

"Rawr!!" That sounded like a grizzly, only bigger.

"Celestia!" I called out while running toward the screams and roars. After bursting through a thicket, I saw Tia was being forced against a rock face by what looked like a Short-faced Cavebear.

"Joe! Help!" In Tia's condition, she couldn't do much to defend herself, and that bear saw her as an easy meal.

When the bear saw me, it thought I was a rival predator trying to muscle in on its meal. It rose up to a good 10 feet before letting out a monstrous roar. "Roar!!!"

I let out a snarl before letting out a roar of my own.

The bear charged forward on all fours and we clashed. The bear got a lucky swipe and slashed my arm real good. I returned in kind by biting its side and tearing off a chunk of flesh. The bear roared in pain before knocking me against a tree. When I fought away the stars, I saw the bear charging at me. I growled before grabbing the brute by its jaws and spreading them open. With a little effort, I split the bastard's jaw in two.

With the bear dead, I went over to my wife and checked to see if she was hurt. "You alright, dear?" Tia could only embrace me as she held me tight and cried. "Shh it's alright, you're safe, both of you," I said while gently placing a hand on her stomach. "The baby?"

"She's fine." Tia panted while I checked her for injuries.

"Come on, let's get out of here," I said as we went back to our camp. "Soon as you've calmed down, I'm turning that bastard into a rug," I growled as I turned back to the slain beast. How dare he attack my wife and child.

An hour later, Tia had calmed down, and we had a new rug to spruce up the house with when we get back. Tia was still shaken up a bit by the bear, so I carried her like the queen she is.

After an hour of flying, I spotted the bar where Ash and I fought, and later, settled our differences. "We're here."

"You're bringing your pregnant wife to a bar?" She joked, showing she got her sense of humor back as we pressed our foreheads against each other and smiled.

"Glad to see you're still you." I kissed her cheek before showing her the place. "This is the place where I met our inter-dimensional visitor. Oh look, you can see the bloodstain where he stabbed me in the chest."

"In...the chest?" Celestia looked at me, unconvinced.

"Yeah it hurt like hell," I said while rubbing the spot where I was stabbed.

"I'm surprised you don't have a scar," She told me while rubbing my chest where I was stabbed. "Do you still feel it?"

"Nah. The pain didn't last too long." I held her hoof where it hovered over my heart. "My heart didn't want to say goodbye to any of you."

"Hahaha! Honey, that was a terrible joke," Tia told me as we walked away from the bar.

"Eh, can't win them all. How about I show you where we placed the map table?" I asked her, knowing she'd like the place we put it in.

"I'd love that," Tia said as we flew over to a large structure not too far from the tavern.

"Here it is. The gateway to other dimensions," I showed her the table I carved from Twilight's castle. "This is where Ash left for home. At least, I think he did."

"You're not sure if he got back?" Tia asked while examining the table.

"Well, all I know for sure is that he left through a portal created from his key, and didn't scream while he left. So I'm confident he's okay....... One sec!" I opened a small portal to where Ash's world is supposed to be. After a quick glance, I pulled back and closed the portal with a blush.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?" Tia asked me with concern.

"Uh... yeah. He was just... doing what we've been doing for the last few days," I told her with a blush.

It took a second for her to get what I meant before she also started to blush. "Oh. I see." She smirked before bumping her flank against me. "Was it Luna?"

"No... it was you. Guess he had feelings for you as well," I told her before leading her out of the building.

"I see... give you any ideas?" She asked with a sultry look.

"....Maybe one or two," I smirked back at her before pinching her flank. "Come on, let's find a place to set up our tent."

We had another stroll through the wilderness, just soaking in all this place had to offer. After an hour of walking through the trees, we came upon a beautiful waterfall with a calming aura about it. "Mmm, let's camp here tonight, dear."

"That sounds like a plan, sugar." I gave her a kiss before finding a flat piece of ground and setting up our tent.

After setting up the tent, I went to the water's edge and filled our canteens. When I was down, I took a drink before hearing Celestia clear her throat. "Honey?" I turned around to see what she wanted, only to nearly choke and do a spit take at what I was seeing.

After hacking nearly a quart of water, I found my voice again. "Honey, not that I'm complaining, but what made you want to do this?"

"I figured since you changed for me, I'd do the same for you." She snaked her hands along my chest and kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna shower under the fall." She let me go before getting in the water. As she trudged over to the falls, she removed her top and beckoned me over. "Come join me and wash my back~."

Liking that idea, I stripped off my clothes and joined my wife in the water. When I saw her step onto the rocks and shower off under the waterfall, I thought for a moment, I was looking at a fertility goddess. I climbed the rocks before coming up behind Tia and cupping her giant breasts in my hands. "No matter what shape or form you take, you'll always look beautiful~."

"You're sweet." She smiled as we kissed under the cascade of water. She then guided my hands toward her belly and both of us stopped when we felt something marvelous happen. "She kicked!" Tia gasped with excitement.

I leaned my head on her shoulder as we felt our child kick. "Honey, how can you be sure our child is a girl?" I asked while rubbing her belly in circles.

"It's just a feeling I have." Tia closed her eyes as we both felt her belly for an undetermined amount of time. It wasn't until she felt my rod poking her back did the silence broken. "Mmm, I take it you want to take this form for a spin~?"

"Can you blame me~?" I asked while hotdogging her ass cheeks.

"In that case," Tia turned around and knelt down before grabbing my cock between her breasts. "I've always wanted to try this~," She told me as she started to give me a titty fuck.

"Wow, those are surprisingly softer than usual." I moaned while leaning against the rock wall as we hid ourselves behind the waterfall.

"Now let's see what was I supposed to do next?" My wife asked while watching the tip of my cock poke in and out of her cleavage. "Oh, now I remember~." She giggled before sticking her tongue out and gently licking at the tip each time it appeared.

I was shaking at the sensation of having my cock rubbed by my wife's chest pillows and her tongue lapping at my tip. It was almost too much and I would've nutted all over her face. Hell, that thought wasn't helping me hold it in. "Babe, you're a natural~."

"Mmm you feel just about ready~." she grinned before removing her boobs from my rod and suddenly gulped down my entire length in her throat with a moan that sent shivers up my spine.

"Oh fuck! Get ready for a snack~!" I told Tia before grabbing her head and pushing her further down my cock.

"Mmmmrkk!" She gagged a bit before she was hit with blast upon blast of my cum. "Mmmph!" She swallowed what she could while the rest spilled from her lips and onto her breasts. She pulled away coughing before looking up at me. "Mmm, thanks for the snack." She went over to a flat rock and lay on her side. "Hope you're up for more~." She told me after lifting her leg and spreading her ass.

"Holy...." I gasped as she revealed her back entrance to me.

"I've always wanted to try it in this form~. Be gentle~." Celestia said before playfully sticking her tongue out at me.

Letting out an excited growl, I lay behind her and reached around to fondle her massive tits. I peppered her neck with kisses before aiming my cock at her backdoor. "Get ready for my battering ram to entire your back gate~," I told her before shoving my cock up her ass. "Oh, fuck~!"

"NNNGAAAH~!! Ohhh yes~!" Celestia bit her lips as her eyes rolled back and she gripped the stone beneath her. "Mmm wreck my slutty royal ass my husband~."

"Damn I love when you get like this~!" I growled as I began ramming her and pulled her mane. Thankfully her screams were drowned out by the waterfall but each sound she made seemed to drive me even crazier as I got to see this new side of her.

"Mmm, keep fucking my ass~!" Celestia moaned as I kept pounding her ass.

"I'm not pulling out till this ass is gaping for a month~!" I told her before fingering her pussy. "Mmm, you like my cock in your ass and my fingers in your pussy~?"

"Oooh~! Yes~! I love when you play with my fuck holes~!" She screamed as her breasts bounced up and down.

"Oh yeah, my fingers can feel my cock going in and out of your ass~. By the gods, you're a real slut~! Getting ass-fucked while pregnant with a sopping wet pussy~!" I told her while thrusting harder.

"Mmm, I'm your slut~! I want you to use me whenever you feel like fucking me~!"

"Such a bad girl~." I teased before biting on her shoulder and moving my hands to squeeze every ounce of breast milk out of her.

"Mmm don't waste it~." She moaned as her breast milk trickled onto the cavern floor.

"No problem. Let me just," I grabbed her left breast before sucking the nipple while Tia sucked her right nipple.

We were at it for what seemed like hours as we practically did it all over the cave with the final position being Tia leaning against the wall as I prepared to deliver what was hopefully my last load.

"Ohhh Joey I love you~!" She moaned in a complete lust-filled daze while clawing at the cavern wall.

The rock in my grip crumpled to gravel as I neared my end. "I love you too, my dear Celestia~!" We shared another passionate kiss before I unloaded everything I had into her royal bowels.

"Mmmmmm~!" Tia moaned into our kiss as she felt my seed enter her backdoor. After I pulled away, the cum started leaking out while she panted from exhaustion. "Oooh, I can barely feel my legs~."

"Then let me carry you before you fall." Once again, I carried my wife, bridal style over to our camp.

"You always know how to treat a pregnant mare." She kissed my cheek before we sat down in our tent. For the rest of the day, Tia stayed in her anthro form and we both stayed naked.

We talked, ate, played checkers, and exchanged stories about our past. At the moment, Celestia was regaling me with a tale about when Twilight was a young student. "And then what happened?"

"And then she turned milk into ice cream. The only trouble was that it was runny and tasted like pickles," Celestia started to laugh at the memory with me joining.

"I can't imagine that went over well with her teachers," I said while holding in my laughter.

"Well, luckily for her, the teacher in charge was pregnant and craved pickles and ice cream." This caused us to laugh even harder. "What about you, dear? Tell me a story about when you were little."

"When I was young, huh? Hmm, well, when I was twelve, my friends and I took our shower curtains and went shopping cart sailing in empty parking lots," I told her, remembering the friends I had back then.

"How did you steer?" She asked me.

"Well, we didn't. We just went where ever the wind took us," I explained.

"I see. And how did you stop?"

"We just smashed into things. That was the fun part." Though landing in the garbage was less fun.

"Hehehe! That sounds wild, honey." She leaned over and kissed my cheek before laying on my chest. "This has been a wonderful honeymoon, dear."

"Yes, it really has." I brought Celestia closer with one arm before levitating a book I had brought with us. "Shall I read to you?"

"I'd love that." Tia got comfortable against me as I opened up to Edgar Allen Poe's, The Cask of Amontillado.

The next day

Today was the day we packed up and left for home. When I awoke, I saw that Celestia was still in her anthro form and still very much naked. As much as I wanted to stay in this moment for many hours, I knew we were expected back this afternoon.

Gently waking my wife and kissing her forehead, she awoke with a long cute yawn. "Good morning, my goddess."

"Mmm, good morning my king." We shared a kiss before getting up. After a small quick breakfast, we packed away our tent and camping equipment. "Alright, let's head back."

"Not quite, dear." My response puzzled her before I gestured to her while putting on my pants.

She was still puzzled before realizing she was still anthro and naked. "Oh, yes, of course." Her horn lit up before her whole body glowed. Her glowing anthro form morphed into her equine form that I fell in love with. "Better?"

"For the public and our children, yes. For our herd and I, both forms are perfect." My statement earned a flustered look from my wife before she hopped into my arms. "I believe it's time for us to leave, now."

"Agreed." We shared a kiss before I brought out my key and opened a portal back home.

Holding Celestia in my arms, I stepped through the portal into familiar surroundings, just as the portal behind us closed.

Author's Note

I probably should've mentioned this was a heavily sexual chapter. But why spoil the fun?

I like to thank my fellow League members, though I mainly want to thank Valiant Charge.

Here's his link. https://www.fimfiction.net/user/207119/Valiant+Charge Follow this fool!

Clips

Cursed Ice

I was back in the battlefields of Valhalla, training with the greatest warriors and generals of all time. Right now, I am sharpening my shotgunning skills. "Take that Washington!"

Blam!

"Eat lead, Einstien!"

Blam!

"Show's over, Shakespeare!"

Whack I hit William with the butt of my AA12 and went looking for more victims.

After bringing down three Union Cavalrymen with a grenade slug, the battle was over, and it was time to feast. When I made it to the table where my Kin sat, I was brought in for a hug by my mother. "There's my big wolf pup!"

"Mom... you're embarrassing me," I told her after a few of the nearby warriors snickered.

"Good. I have a lot to catch up on." Mom pinched my cheek before sitting down with the rest of the family. "So, how are my grandchildren?"

I chuckled before grabbing a horn of mead and joining them. "They're doing great. Orion moved in with his girlfriend, Jack's applying for a job in law enforcement, Scootaloo is doing really well in both school and her swords, and our little one is due within a few weeks," I told my family before taking a swig.

"Sounds like you're doing a good job as a father," My grandpa from the American Revolution said between bites of his chicken.

"I do my best," I shrugged before digging into my Sheppards pie. After getting my fill, I got up from the table. "Well, this was fun. I'll see you all next month." My family waved me off as I made my way outside. As I passed the table that sat the Third Crusade, I bumped into the palest of the gods. "Ah, Heimdall. I didn't see you there."

"Funny, I saw you," He retorted, making us both laugh.

"Hah, that never gets old. So, what do I owe the honor of the keeper of the Bifrost wanting my attention?" I asked the far-seeing god.

"Cutting to the quick. I respect that." Heimdall reached behind his belt and pulled out a horn. "The Allfather wanted me to give you this as a gift."

"A horn?" I took the horn and examined it, admiring the craftsmanship. "It's very nice. What does it do?"

"In times of peril, simply blow the horn, and your blood will be summoned to fight alongside you for a short time." Heimdall patted my shoulder before returning to the bridge. "I'll tell Mimir that you came by."

Nodding toward the retreating god, I opened a portal home.

Once I got home, I was greeted by a mass of fur and slobber that I call my dog. "Daww, Hercules!" I bent down and he started licking my face while I petted him and scratched behind his ears. "You keep a good eye on the place while I was away?"

Herc let out a few barks before heading back to the house with me following. When I made it inside the house, Celestia was lying on the couch, rubbing her belly while watching Cake Wars. When she saw me enter the room, she levitated me over to her. "Hello, honey."

"Hello, dear." We shared a kiss before I watched the show with her. "Guess you really like this show."

"I love it! The flavors, the frosting, the decorations, it's so great! Though it does have one drawback." Her stomach grumbled loudly. "It's driving my cravings through the roof." She started pouting toward me.

"Alright. What kind of cake should I get?" I asked with a smirk.

“Burnt Almond!” Tia chirped with a flutter of her wings.

"Burnt Almond it is." I went to get up, but Celestia stopped me. "Anything else, my dear?"

"I would love some fresh homemade ice cream to go with it." She leans over and kisses my cheek. "And I want it really cold~."

"Guess I'll visit Niflheim for some ice, right after I have Pinkie make that cake for you."

"Thank you, dear." Tia kisses me again before going back to her show.

I smiled back at her before heading out and opening a portal to Sugarcube Corner. Behind the counter, Carrot was running the register while juggling the twins. "Need some help there, Carrot?"

"If you don't mind," He chuckled nervously while I took the twins off his hooves. While he got a moment to breathe, he got his notepad ready. "So, what can I get you, your highness?"

"Cake, you can call me Joe. Only pricks that need a reality check can call me that," I told him while Pumpkin grabbed my beard and started pulling at it. "Ahh! My beard!" I joked with the little one. "Anyway. My wife has a craving for a Burnt Almond cake. Could you make a four-layer one with extra frosting?"

"Of course," Carrot said while writing down my order. "I can have it delivered by 6 or 7 tonight."

"That sounds terrific." Pound started pounding on my head at this point. "Alright, little buddy. Time to" I was about to hand Pound and Pumpkin back over to Carrot, but Pinkie appeared in front of me. "-head over to your Aunt Pinkie."

"Sorry, Mr. Cake. Cheese was in town and he took me on a date," Pinkie said while taking the babies from me.

"It's alright. And glad to hear that you and Cheese are still together," Carrot told her.

I smiled at Pinkie before handing Carrot the bits for the cake. "Alright, I'm heading for the coldest place in the nine realms to make ice cream for a very pregnant sun goddess."

"Okay, have fun!" Pinkie waved at me before I opened a portal to Nifelheim. Once the portal opened, I was blasted with a blast of the coldest air I'd ever felt. When the portal closed, I wolfed out and trudged through the ice and fog.

"Brrrr! All this so my pregnant wife can satisfy her craving," I told myself while looking for a glacier or frozen lake for ice. I shook my head before chuckling. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

After miles of trudging through the ice and snow, I came across a massive ice sheet with a thin fog over it.

"Perfect." I slid across the ice, looking for a weak spot to crack the ice and make away with a good bucket full for the cold treat my wife desires. When I neared the center of the lake, I felt a crack underneath my feet. "There we go." I unsheathed my ax and went about cutting the ice.

As I began cutting the ice, chipping away at the large block, I broke through and expected frozen lake water to rise up. instead, a blast of cold air and darkness met me. "The hell?" I looked down into the hole I just made, and saw what looked like a large cavern. "Interesting."

CRACK CRACK

Suddenly, I hear the ice around me start to crack even further. As I made to stand up and leave, the entire ice field shattered, creating a vacuum and taking me down with thousands of pounds of ice into the unknown.

As I fell, I did my best to fly out or even teleport out, but the ice was not allowing me to do any of that. When I tried to climb through the falling gaps, a chunk the size of a minivan struck me in the head. My vision started to blacken and I fell into the unknown.

A few hours later

I awoke with a dull pain in... well, everywhere. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw that I was in the cavern that I thought was a frozen lake. "All this for ice cream. Ow." I slowly got up and my healing factor went to work on mending my bones.

While I was waiting for my leg to heal, I had a better look around the place and saw something extremely weird. "What the fuck?"

As I stared at the castle in front of me, I felt a pull from my gut, compelling me to come closer. Without really knowing why I made my way toward the icy structure.

As I drew closer, I felt my senses leave me. My vision was blurred and my limbs were numb to a degree where I couldn't feel them, but could still move toward the castle. After crossing the jagged bridge, the massive doors opened, looking like two glaciers.

After passing the threshold, the massive doors closed, swallowing me in. When the doors shut with a mighty thud, the trance I was in ended and I was left wondering how I got in. "What the hell?"

I turned around and went to open the doors and get the hell out, but no matter how hard I pushed, they simply wouldn't budge. After giving it a few swings with my ax with no result, I decided it was time to open a portal.

However to my surprise as soon as I tried I received a shock to my head as though someone ran a knife through it making me yell.

As the pain subsided, I started getting images. Flashes of ancient beings in a constant war. One group of beings had glowing white eyes and another group had soulless black eyes. I don't know why they were fighting, but they looked like they really hated each other.

After the images stopped, the pain was gone and I stood up. "Alright, this is so fucked up. I'm out of here." I went for another portal, but as I channeled my magic, nothing happened. "The hell?" I tried my magic again, but still nothing. I felt my mana pool, but it just wouldn't come out, like a flame thrower with a broken nozzle.

"Fuck!" I grabbed a nearby piece of ice and threw it against the wall in rage. "I can't open the door! I can't teleport out! I can't even use fucking magic!" My voice echoed off the walls of this place, causing a few icicles to drop from the ceiling.

As I stood there in the entrance hall, brooding over my predicament, an idea came to mind. "May as well go through this fucking thing. See if there's an exit." And just like that, I made my way into the castle to find a way out.

As I walked through the castle hallways, I saw a few carvings along the walls depicting the very images I saw earlier from that magic backlash. "Strange. These aren't Aesir or Jotnar, yet, they seem a lot older." I mused to myself as I moved further along.

Soon, I came across a large room with statues on pedestals. A few of them depicted the two ancient beings, others, well, they can only be described as horrors that H.P. Lovecraft would take credit for. As I walked past a tentacle creature with three dicks, I slipped on some ice and bumped into a tall statue, causing it to tip and fall over onto another statue, causing it to fall and do the same to another.

Just like a cartoon, the statues fell like dominos, shattering on the floor and going around the whole room.

As I watched the second to last statue fall against the large demon-looking statue in the middle, I just shook my head. "Good thing this place is abandoned. I'd hate to imagine what the damage bill would be." I mused to myself before moving on to the next room. As I stepped over the rubble of an Ogre, I heard a cracking sound behind me. When I looked back, the center statue was shaking and flaking away, revealing blue skin and red webbed wings. "There is no way my luck is that bad."

As if to answer me, the statue flexed and the rest of its stone skin shot off. Once the dust cleared away a bit, I was met with a creature that shouldn't exist in this realm or any realm on Ygdrassil.

The creature had three fire-filled maws, two spike-covered tails, a razor-sharp hide, and to top it off, a pair of leathery wings that looked like they could kick up a dust storm. I tried to sneak around it, hoping that it wouldn't spot me.

My luck, however, decided to take a shit on my head as a block of ice fell on my foot. "Yeaaaaaaahaaaaa! Son of a bitch! Mother fucker!" While I hopped on one foot while holding the other in pain, I felt a burst of hot air on my neck. I slowly turned my head to see the large beast glaring down at me. I saw that it was licking its chops and knowing me, I must look delicious. "Hello, handsome."

"GRRRRRRRR!!" It growled at me while I saw flames go up its throat.

"Right." I punched the middle head before running to the next room.

"RAAAAAWRRRR!!!" The three-headed beast roared before chasing after me.

I sprinted as fast as I could while the monster rampaged behind me. I didn’t know where I was going, but I couldn’t do much in such a condensed space. I needed more elbow room if I was gonna properly take this guy on. I kept running and turned multiple random corners. The monster was still hot on my tail as it blew more fire at me. I barely managed to turn another corner before the flames could engulf me.

“Is this what it’s like to be roasted on a spit?!” I asked out loud as I turned another corner.

Fortune soon began to smile down on me when I turned one last corner and ran through a doorway. I found myself in an open chamber of some kind that was the size of a football field. The monster crashed through the wall as I skidded to a halt, and turned to face the beast.

I unsheathed my ax and unfurled my shield before wolfing out. I let out a roar of my own before we charged at each other. When we were a few feet apart, I lept onto its middle head and hooked my ax under its throat. The beast started to thrash, the other two heads trying to take a bite out of me while I rode it like a bronco at a rodeo.

The monster, desperate to get rid of me, charged toward a pillar, heads first. I smirked at the action before getting ready. When it was close to hitting the frozen stone, I launched off its head while slicing off one of the wings as it smashed into the pillar.

The beast roared even louder and twisted its body to swing its tail. The impact felt like I was hit by a cargo plane as I was sent hurdling across the chamber and crashed into the wall. The impact cracked the wall and broke off multiple chunks of stone.

I dodged the avalanche of rocks before grabbing one and hurling it at the head on my right. The impact smashed the rock into pebbles while the head it hit went limp. The middle head took a moment to sniff the limp head before biting it off.

"One down, two to go," I smirked before the winged bastard charged at me again.

I used my wings to jump over the monster's charge before bringing out my shotgun and firing a shot at its wing joints, causing one to fall off and the other to hang by a few sinews of muscle.

While the beast wailed at the loss of its wings, I got a look at the chamber around us and saw a place to hide and recover for a bit.

I hid behind an ice pillar, collecting my breath before the monster smashed it to pieces and went on the attack again. I dodged the debris and took another stance. "For fuck sake, how do I get into these things!?" I asked before chopping away the jaw off of the left head.

Suddenly one of the beast's claws made a swipe at me and as I moved to back away my leg hit something forcing me to trip and also open for the incoming attack.

The beast made to pounce on me to pin me down and tear me apart. As it came down to doing that, I caught it with my legs and using my godly strength, launched it up toward the ceiling. The monster was impaled by multiple icicles that hung from the ceiling, killing it and ending its rampage.

As I got up and dusted myself off, I went to see what had tripped me. I bent down and saw that it was a bone. A really, really big bone. "Looks like the giants were here." When I looked to the left, I saw a trail of bones that kept growing in size. "What kind of creature were you?"

I followed the trail of bones, noting that they were rib and tail bones, indicating it was a giant snake, or possibly just the tale of some great beast. Every few yards, yes yards, I would find patches of frozen flesh along the ribs and vertebrae, as well as a scaly hide. "Your identity becomes clearer the further I go." After two hours of walking, I came upon what at first looked like a small mountain, when in reality it was the skull of a massive serpent.

I stood in awe at the deceased beast before me and wondered whether it was time, a beast, or some other form of death that took this great monster down. As I flew up to the top of this beast's skull, I got my answer. In the middle of the snake's skull, amidst deep splinters in the bone was a sword. A sword with a strange yet wonderful design.

If such a sword could bring down a beast such as this, then it was worth keeping. When I grabbed the handle, another vision slammed into me.

In the depths of my mind, I saw an ancient warrior fight hordes of monsters with the blade I was holding as well as psychic powers that would put Jean Grey to shame. As the battle continued, he spoke in an ancient language that sounded like he was placing a curse along the walls of the castle. When he was nearing the end, a giant serpent that looked like it could be Jormungandr's kin, burst through a horde of monsters before charging toward him.

The vision ended there, but from what I could tell from the skeleton, the guy won or at least killed the giant Wurm before he was vanquished. After shaking the cobwebs from my head, I pulled the blade from the skull and observed the blade.

The sword felt...comfortable in my grasp and warm as though the blade was meant to be in my hand.

As I admired the blade and even gave it a few swings, the cavernous room began to shake, causing rocks and ice to fall to the ground. I figured it had to be an earthquake until the cavern wall next to me burst, causing the whole place to be covered in dust.

After fanning away the dust with my wings, I wished I hadn't. From high above, a scaly, more fleshed-out serpent than the one I stood on, leered down at me.

The beast's rumbles filled the room and its saliva burnt with a hiss as it hit the ground. "Ugh. Any chance we could talk this out?" My question was answered when the serpent reared its head back and flames engulfed in its maw. "I guess not."

The Serpent released a blazing inferno that I was just able to dodge. When I looked back at the snake, the sword emitted blue flames and radiated with power. After seeing the sword burst into flame, a sadistic grin made its way onto my face before I glared at the snake. "Looks like the tables have turned, biatch!"

"Raaaaawwwwrrrrrrr!!!" The Serpent roared at me before lifting its tail a mile away from me and bringing it up to smash me with. I thought about making a run for it, but then a sadistic thought came to mind. As the tail started to fall toward me, I held my new sword at the ready. When I could see nothing but darkness around me, I thrust the sword upward just as the tail slammed down.

Dark. It was dark and squishy. When the sword ignited, I could see I was inside the snake, probably in a body cavity. I stepped onto the muscle and kept walking forward. "Damn, I didn't think that would work," I told myself before feeling the body part move. "Guess it's wondering where I am."

Aside from the damp moisture, the inside of the creature was absolutely foul and I almost gagged from the stench.

"I gotta get outta here," I said to myself before suddenly falling on my ass and could feel the monster moving.

"If that's the way forward, then that's where I should go," I told myself while getting back up.

3rd POV. Outside the Serpent

The beast was content that it killed the pest that entered its home and went to return to its slumber. After moving a few feet, the creature felt a burning sensation that gave it pause. The tingling soon became an unbearable pain as it traveled further up its body.

The Serpent slithered this way and that, shaking the structure as it did, but to no avail. The more it thrashed, the further the pain traveled. Worse yet, in the spot where the pain had started, a small blue flame had begun to grow.

The beast let out a loud roar-like hiss as it crashed against both stone and ice to quell the fire that was traveling up its body. As the pain kept traveling further, the beast kept slamming, destroying walls, pillars, and everything else that looked manmade.

The fire kept eating away at the snake as the slashing traveled faster and further up the monster. It was getting desperate now. Seeing no end in sight, the giant snake burst through the ceiling and headed for the surface.

After traveling a short distance, the great Wurm burst to the surface and started destroying the landscape with its flaming breath and body. After clearing an area the size of Central park, the scaly fiend made one last attempt to rid itself of the pain. It headed toward a great mountain in the distance and slithered full speed toward it.

Joe's POV

"Come on you overgrown Rattler! You're only making this worse!" I yelled before slashing away at the monster's stomach lining. "You're just pissing me off by your continuance to exist!" As I made my way toward its throat, there was a sudden stop, sending me flying up toward the mouth.

After shaking the stars from my head, I saw that I was standing on the beast's tongue. "Wonder if I taste I taste good? No time to ponder that, gotta get out of here." Unfurling my wings, I flew up toward the roof of its mouth with my new sword leading the way.

After slicing through bone, flesh, and brain matter, I was free from the monster and could claim victory.

After letting out my victory howl, I noticed we were out of the castle and cavern, and that the snake had bashed its brains against a mountain. "Huh. Well, I drove him to it, so I'll chalk it up anyway," I told myself before jumping down onto the snow.

After feeling the snow under my feet, I breathed the free air before feeling my magic course through my veins once again. Laughing at my powers being returned, I flew high in the air, leaving behind a trail of magical fireworks. Once I had my fun, I dropped down and sat next to the fallen snake and examined my sword.

“Hmm…curious blade,” I said aloud. “Haven’t seen any material like this in all the realms.”

BA-BUMP!

Just when I thought things would mellow out, my senses blared as loud as they could and forced me back into my Lycan form. The hairs all over my body were standing on end. There was something else gazing at me, and if I wasn’t careful I wouldn’t be breathing for much longer. I barely moved a muscle as my eyes darted around the area and I took long sniffs in the air. My ears twitched in every direction as I swallowed a lump in my throat. Whatever was with me knew how to stay quiet and undetected. Or rather, I don’t believe even it knew how stealthy it was.

"I know you're out there. Show yourself!" I roared while getting my sword and ax at the ready.

I kept my eyes and ears open for any unknown enemy. As I kept searching, I felt a tingling at the back of my neck. I took that as a sign to move and thankfully I did because the ice and snow where I stood blew up in a giant slashing motion.

When I looked around, I couldn't see what had done it. "Where the hell are you?"

Another tingle, this time it came from my right shoulder, making me slash my sword in that direction. And to my luck, I hit something solid while hearing a high-pitched cry.

When I looked I saw it was black, thin and fast so fast I thought it might have been only my imagination if it weren't for the scream from earlier.

"So, you're the shit that's behind this?" I asked before letting out a scoff. "I just took down a dragon, you're the damn after-dinner mint compared to it."

Naturally, there was no response from whatever the thing was as I continued to look around for any movement or sound.

As I searched the snowy landscape, I felt the same tingling, but in my chest. I smirked before dodging left while sending my ax hurling in the other direction. When I got back up, I summoned my ax back to me. As it came flying back, it hit the thing that was attacking me and brought it closer.

With it wounded, I charged forward with my sword and impaled it into the body of the beast. As it lay slumped in the snow, bleeding out black blood, I saw that it looked like an Enderman and jellyfish. "Never seen your kind before." I mused before retrieving my weapons from its corpse.

I checked my watch to see that it was getting late. Without further ado, I took out my key and grabbed a huge chunk of ice before heading home.

At the dinner table

"You went through all that, just to get ice for Ice cream?" Celestia asked me while I cleared the table.

"It was unexpected but worth it," I told the family before pointing at the fireplace. "I have a new weapon, fought a dragon, and most importantly," I leaned down and kissed Celestia's cheek. "I was able to get us some dessert for tonight."

"Hon, you truly do spoil us," Jackie said while slicing up the cake.

"I'm just glad you're home, safe and sound," Luna smiled up at me.

"It's gonna take a lot more than a triple-headed brute, garden snake, or Enderman to keep me from coming back to you and the kids," I told them before giving Scoots and Jack a slice of cake.

Author's Note

First, time to give Wolf Blood, Wurky, and Valiant Charge credit for helping with this chapter. They have my back and I have theirs, and the other League members.

Anyway, for those that get the reference, good.

Now, for the clip.

My Queen

"Aaaaah~, fuck me you beast~!" Celestia screamed at the top of her lungs while I fucked her on her throne.

I sat on her throne while Tia bounced on my spire with her teats and belly bouncing in front of a full court of nobles and commoners. "I love how much of a whore you can be in front of your subjects~," I told her before squeezing her teats, shooting milk on Jackie and Luna who were scissoring below us. "How does the whore's milk taste~?"

Luna moaned before opening her mouth wide to catch her sister's milk. "Mmm, taste just like cake~. Oooh~, right there, Jackie~."

"Share some of that milk with me, sugar~," Jackie said with her tongue out. She and Luna made out while their pussies kept rubbing and they swapped Tia's milk a few times before swallowing. "Dang, that's good~."

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen!" I called the court's attention. "I'm about to cum inside the princess's pregnant pussy! Come on over for a closer look!" The ponies gathered around to see me nut inside their princess with rapt attention. "Alright you perverts, here you go! In 3! 2! 1!"

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

The alarm woke us all up from our collective dream. "Gah! Not again!" I grabbed the alarm clock with my magic and crushed it in my aura field.

"Confounded contraption! Tell us again what is the purpose of that vial thing?" Luna growled.

"It's to keep us from being late in the morning," I said before throwing the pieces into the garbage. "But lately, it's just been giving us all blue balls."

Celestia got up from her place on the bed with her hair all frizzed and had a dissatisfied look. "It's always when I reach my climax. Like it was programmed to do so," Tia said before levitating the coffee pot over to her.

Jackie wiped the sleep from her eyes before looking at the sheets. "Looks like I gotta another load of laundry to do."

"No, no. You have the harvest this morning. I'll do the laundry," Luna offered while gathering our soaked sheets off the bed while I got dressed. "And while I'm doing that, I may just bake some fresh rolls for supper tonight."

"That sounds wonderful, dear. They'll go great with the vegetable beef stew." I kissed her cheek while levitating my wallet over. "I'm gonna get a few things from town. After that, I'll see about the Edge."

"You really like that place, don't you?" Celestia asked while raising the sun a little.

"You've seen it with me." I went over and kissed her cheek. "You tell me."

"Hmhm, you're right, it is beautiful. But what do you expect to do over there?" She asked me while putting on her crown, it being her day to head to court.

"Well, explore a little more, maybe fix up the place I put the table in." I grabbed my phone off the dresser and headed downstairs. "But before that, cinnamon rolls and grits to start our day."

After we ate and sent Scoots off to school, I had Jack walk with me down to the market. "So, how are things with you and Octavia?"

Jack smiled at me while recounting what he and his marefriend have been up to. "They're going good. We went to a concert the other night, right after we had dinner in Canterlot."

"That sounds good." I patted his back before we came to a veggie stall. "Though you keep doing all that, you'll run through your allowance before you know it."

"I'm aware. Which is why I'm looking to get a job around here." That surprised me. Not him wanting a job, but just that's the first time he mentioned it to me.

"Good luck to you then," I rustled his hair before looking at my watch. "Alright," I took out a bag of bits and handed it to Jack. "Take care of the shopping, and I'll be home for dinner."

"Sure thing, pa. Hey, when are you going to take me over to that place?" He asked me while grabbing the bags.

"After I get a better layout of the land and spruce up the building I placed the table in," I promised him before taking out my key. "Catch you later, son."

"Later dad," He told me before I opened a portal to the Edge.

The portal opened up to the large building I put the table in. I often wonder who built such a structure, and from what world did it come?

As I entered the room I was surprised that I wasn't alone because on top of the table looking at her surroundings was Faust. So, shaking off my surprise I went to approach her and was just about to speak when Faust beat me to it.

"Elven," Faust spoke.

"Sorry, what?" I asked Faust, getting her attention.

She turned to me before gesturing to the structure around us. "This building reminds me of a few elven structures back on Alfheim. Minus the crystals of course."

I took another look before nodding my head. "You know, now that I look at it, it does remind me of Elrond's castle." I went over to the table and took a seat next to her. "How've you been, Faust?"

"Joe, I keep telling you, call me mom." Faust jumped down from the table and nuzzled my cheek. "And to answer your question, I'm doing alright."

"That's good to hear. Anything going on around here?" I asked while pointing outside.

"Hmm, some wildlife flying around. Some of them looked very strange," Faust told me while sitting down next to me.

"Strange? This coming from the mare that traveled the nine realms?" I asked with a questioning brow.

"Then it must be so. If I say they are strange then they must be strange." Faust said causing the both of us to laugh lightly.

For the next few minutes, Faust and I talked while I straightened the place up a bit. After moving a bronze column into place, the whole room gave off a soft hum. I looked around to see if I activated a trap I somehow missed, but found none.

Soon, small orbs of light appeared near the extremely high ceiling and lit up the entire room. Sheathing my ax, I nodded while looking around. "Very nice."

"It does make the place less gloomy." Faust admired the room while laying down by the table. "Takes me back to the time I spent in Asgard."

With an accomplishment such as this over with, I sat by Faust and brought out my flask. After taking a swig, I asked her. "What was life like back in those days? When Celestia and Luna were fillies?"

That brought a huge smile to her face before she recounted a few stories about her daughters. "I can't tell a story about my little ones without recalling the time Celestia had her first cake."

"Tell all! Don't spare any details!" I said while conjuring a tape recorder.

For the next twenty minutes, Faust told me the story of how Celestia snuck into the kitchens and wanted to eat a few carrots. Instead, she saw one of the cooks making a cake for Freya. "And then, she jumped on top of the cake as it was being brought out," Freya said while laughing with me.

"Was Freya mad?" I asked while trying to calm my laughter down.

"Surprisingly, all she did was giggle and help herself to the cake along with my little Celly," Faust said while laughing some more.

I laughed some more before taking another draught. "Do you... do you miss them?" I asked her.

"What mother wouldn't miss their children?" She smiled sadly at me before it turned to full sadness. "May I tell you something?"

"Of course, anything," I told her while sitting up.

"And it can never leave us. This is strictly between you and me," She told me while looking me in the eye.

I've never seen her act this way before. It makes me wonder what it is she wanted to tell me. "Fa... mom. You can tell me anything. You don't need to worry. Not a word of what goes on between us will be told to anyone else."

"Even Celestia and Luna. They can never know about this. Ever!" She near screamed at me.

I took her hologram hoof in my hand and looked her in the eyes. "On my honor as a King, a god, and your son-in-law, your daughters will never hear what you're about to tell me."

Faust took in a deep breath before letting it out. "Around the time I perished and sent my daughters to Equestria... I was with foal."

Those four little words shook me to my very core. Faust's life story had a bad enough ending as it was. But for her to say she had a foal when that giant... It's more than I can bare to hear. But she needed me to listen. And listen I did. "Was it... was it a colt or a filly?"

Faust sniffled, which was weird to see since she was just a spirit in hologram form. "It was too early to tell. I had just started noticing that I was pregnant." She let out a chuckle before laying her head on my chest. "It's funny. On the day of the attack, I was going to tell them they were going to get a new brother or sister. I remember Celestia's reaction when I told her about Luna. She couldn't wait and kept asking if she was here yet."

I smiled and cried with her at her story. I hugged her tight while she let it all out. "I'm so sorry, mom. I'm sure they would've loved their sibling. Hehe, I just had a funny thought."

"What's that?" Faust asked me while looking up at me.

"Luna as a middle child." The moment I said that, we both started to laugh at the notion of Luna acting as the typical middle child.

After a few hours of us just talking and me repairing what I could, I got a call. "Hello?"

"Hey, honey." Luna was on the other end of the call. "Just calling to see how you're doing."

"Doing alright. Made some improvements to the map room, I guess I'd call it that, even got the lights to work," I explained to her.

"That's wonderful! How's mother doing?"

"She's doing alright. Had a talk about when you and Celestia were little," I heard Luna laugh on the other end. "Yeah, that was my reaction as well."

"When do you think you'll be back? We need to start dinner pretty soon." Crap! Nearly forgot.

"I'll be home in a few minutes. Jack came back with the groceries, right?"

"He did. All we're missing now is the cook." Even through the phone, I can see her smirk.

"Okay, I'm on my way." I hung up the phone and turned to Faust. "It was nice visiting with you, mom."

"It was good visiting with you too, son." We exchanged a quick hug before I went home.

When I went into the house, I was greeted by the smell of freshly baked rolls wafting through the air. "MmmmmMmm! Something smells good in here!" I went into the kitchen and came up behind Luna. "And the rolls smell pretty good too." I gave her a kiss as she brought out the food from the oven.

"Haha. That joke never gets old," She told me before returning the kiss. "So, did you explore more of the Edge?"

"Not so much. I just spent most of the time repairing the room I put the table in and talked with your mother," I told her while getting the stew started.

"That's nice." Just then, the front door opened to let in Jackie and Tia. "Evening."

"Hey, you two," Jackie greeted us before she and Tia plopped on the couch.

"Ugh. I'm never sitting through another proposal to have a statue erected in my name," Tia complained while turning on the tv.

"I thought I was the only one that's allowed to erect something for you?" I joked before Tia threw a pillow at me. "Alright, alright."

"Hi, mom!" Scootaloo came downstairs and snuggled with her mother Celestia.

"Hello, sweety." Tia greeted Scoots and kissed her forehead.

"How was school, squirt?" Jackie asked her.

"It was great. We learned about Herot," That intrigued me.

"Really? What exactly did you learn?" I asked, wondering how the world was painting my kingdom.

For the next few minutes, Scoots talked about the brief history of Herot. I found the description of myself to be a bit charitable as well as exaggerated. I don't right recall fighting four dragons at once while underwater. Though, that does sound like fun.

When she finished telling what she learned, supper was ready. "Alright, time to eat." We all sat at the table and ate dinner, swapping stories from our day and having an all-around good time.

After dinner, we were all feeling tired and decided to hit the sack. Though no dinner would be complete without a little dessert. As I got into bed, my three lovely ladies slipped into bed with me and cuddled with me. "You know. Tomorrow is Saturday."

"No work needs being done," Jackie said while tracing her hoof along my leg.

"No royal duties to speak of," Celestia purred while laying on her back, giving us an unobstructed view of her swollen teats, smiling sultry at us.

"And, the alarm clock is still busted," Luna levitated the pieces of the offending device over before throwing them back and tossing them in the trash. "I'll start the dream then~."

"How's about we do it in the market this time?" I suggested before Luna hit us all with a sleeping spell, starting our fun for the night.

Author's Note

Just doing a simple chapter this time around.

I'd like to thank my fellow League members, though mainly Wolf Blood for his contribution.

Under my Skin

I felt the dew on the wet grass against my chest as I crouched through the forest. The cicadas were buzzing in the afternoon sun and the smell of wild boar was getting ever closer. Already tasting the bacon and pork chops, I quickened my pace.

Climbing over a small ridge, I spotted an old boar trying to court a young sow. Wanting to save the sow from the brute, I chased after the old boar. He saw me and bolted to the left. This is what I live for. On all fours, chasing dinner with nothing but my claws and teeth.

This boar knew what it was doing. It zig-zagged, ducked under roots, and ran between close-knit trees. This would be a well-earned meal.

After clearing a small creek, I pinned the old beast before sinking my teeth into its neck. The warm blood filled my mouth and I could tell this would be a delicious couple of meals. When the boar stopped its struggle and the breath had left him, I let go of his neck and carried him out of the forest.

As I neared the end of the forest, I heard someone say something. "Tasty!"

I turned around, looking for where the noise came from. But found no one. "Hello? Anyone there?" I looked around, looking for movement. "If that's you, Discord. Come out."

"Hungry!" There it was again.

Finding nothing, I assumed my stomach was simply talking to me, so I went.

That night, I was busy butchering the boar and listening to Jackie tell us about Twilight's plan for tomorrow. "So she wants us to welcome the Yaks and make them feel welcome. She asked if I could make them some hay beds in the barn to make 'em feel at home."

"Oh yes, I remember the yaks before I was sent to the moon. They are a proud, warrior-like race who need everything to be perfect. At least to their standards," Luna recalled while I started to bag the meat.

"Not to mention all the smashing," Celestia said from her side of the couch.

"Idiots!" There it was again.

"You say something, Jack?" I asked my son, hoping that was him.

Jack looked up from his book and looked at me funny. "I didn't say anything, Pa."

"O-oh. I guess I thought... never mind," I told him while going to put the meat in the freezer.

"You alright, hon?" Jackie asked me from her chair. "You've been acting a bit strange lately."

"Shut it, Redneck!" What the fuck!?

"Strange? No, no, I just... got a lot on my mind, is all." For their sake, I hope that's true. "I'm a, feeling a bit tired. Good night." I went upstairs and pondered what was happening. "I really hope I haven't gone mad."

That night, I dreamt alone, going over the events of today. Running through the woods, wondering if indeed I was going mad and just needed a vacation. But I don't think I am. I never work too hard and I don't stress over much. If anything, Twilight needs a vacation.

Walking through a particularly thick patch of trees, I felt a wet sticky substance on my hand from one of them. I tried wiping it off, but it wouldn't go away. In fact, it started to spread.

I tried scraping it off my arm before it started to encompass my other hand and spread there. I went so far as to rip the flesh from my arms and through pain and gritted teeth, I succeeded. Or so I thought.

The flesh grew back, even faster than my own healing factor could do, and the black sludge was back with a vengeance. I Screamed and roared at the substance as it quickly enveloped my body. I fell on my back as it kept spreading over me until only my face was left uncovered. As it started to take over my face, I let out one last roar of defiance before everything went dark.

"Aaaahhh!" I awoke with a start, sweating bullets as I tried to catch my breath. "What the hell was that!"

Naturally, my outburst woke up my wives and they were nearly scared to death. "What's wrong!? Are we under attack!?" Luna asked with a start.

Celestia had her horn ready for an attack while Jackie held my arm. "What's gotten into you, Sugar? Are you, alright?"

I took a few calming breaths before holding Jackie close. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a really bad dream is all." Luna looked at me shocked, wondering why she didn't sense my despair in the dream world. "It's alright, honey. I'm fine." I laid back down with Jackie still in my arms and brushed her hair. "Let's just get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."

Soon, we all went back to sleep, cuddling for all we were worth. As I slept, a small black tendril wiggled along my neck. Unbeknownst to me, it twisted my veins, leaving a message. "Soon" And just like that, it was gone.

The next day

I sat in the main hall of Twilight's castle, waiting for the yaks to arrive. But for the life of me, I could care less about the yak prince coming. "Boring" And the voice inside my head agreed.

"Look alive everyone! The Yaks will be here any minute now!" Twilight instructed as she had everyone lined up like fresh recruits.

"Who put her in charge?" The voice said as Twilight began relaying instructions on what to do when our guests arrived. "This is boring, I want food!"

"Quiet," I whispered when some of the girls noticed I was acting funny.

"I'm sorry, is the joining of two countries in a peaceful manner boring you?" Twilight asked me in an irritated huff.

"Twiley, relax." Swagger came over and started stroking Twilight's back. One of the few ways to calm her down. "Everything's gonna be fine."

"Pussy whipped!" I heard the voice say, making me chuckle a bit before realizing I was still being watched.

Clearing my throat, I stood and nodded. "Sorry, just had a rough night."

Jackie came over and laid a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "You sure you're alright, hon?"

I gave her a warm smile before kissing her cheek. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just the whole... Niflheim thing threw me for a loop is all."

"Alright, if you're sure." She kissed me back just as the doors opened and a literal red carpet came through the door. "Wow."

"Yeah, I didn't think people actually did that," I told her before three well-dressed yaks came in. "Guess it's showtime."

Since this was Twilight's project, she was the one to greet the Prince. "Welcome, Prince Rutherford, to Equestria. We hope your visit here will strengthen the relationship between our countries." She smiled with her most regal smile. She has been practicing.

The Yak in the middle spoke, making him the Prince. "Ponies! Greetings, Ponies!" We waited for more, but that looked like that was it.

"Okay. Nice to meet you," I greeted the Prince. "I'm King Joesph of Herot and the God of War. Care for some eats?"

Spike went and brought out a table full of what I was told was traditional Yakyakastan cuisine. "That looks like shit."

"You're not wrong," I said under my breath as Rutherford took a bite from the dumpling-looking thing before spitting it out. "Guess he agrees."

"This not taste like Yak food!" He and his companions looked very pissed at that simple notion. "It not perfect! Yak Smash!" Oh crap.

After destroying the buffet, they proceeded to vandalize the castle with Twilight and her friends standing there with their mouths wide open until they had finally calmed down and left.

"Wow. Must be what it's like to be roommates with the Hulk," I snarked before snapping my fingers and helping fix the room. "Starting to see why the Yaks and ponies haven't had any kind of dealings for so long."

"Them yaks sure have a funny way of saying howdy," Jackie said while cleaning up the mess with the others.

"They're...different that's all." Rarity said as she swept up some broken plates. "Very different."

"I think they broke my record for most stuff broken in under a minute. I mean, they even broke the trophy." Dash said while showing her broken trophy.

"Yeah, not really sure inviting them was a good idea, babe," Swagger told Twilight as we finally got the place presentable again.

"We just need to show them how great it can be to have friends before Princess Celestia arrives for the friendship party. Now who read the seven-volume cross-index history of Yak Yakkistan I recommended?" Twilight asked as her friends came up with various excuses save for Pinkie Pie.

"Not to worry, I skimmed it for you. To be honest it was boring." the strange voice said again as Swagger shook his head.

After Pinkie explained that she would handle the big job of handling the party, Jackie, Twilight, and I decided to show where the guests would be sleeping. Which just happened to be on the farm.

Finding the Yaks just outside the castle, we led them toward home. As we kept walking, I had to wonder how these guys weren't collapsing from heatstroke with all that fur on.

"We know y'all are noble warriors who avoid the so-called "Finer things" so our family would be honored if you rested here in the barn during your visit." Applejack smiled while showing them the beds.

The beds were just three bales of hay with a pillow on top. As Rutherford inspected the beds, I could already tell things were about to go sour. "This not Yak hay!"

"Fuck," I said under my breath.

"This not traditional Yak hay! It not perfect!" The Yaks were about to smash up the beds and the barn, but I wasn't having any of it. Before they could even bend a stray hay, I grabbed the prince by one of his horns. "What God do!?"

"I let it slide when you messed up my friend's home. But when you try to destroy my home with a tantrum, then I got something to say," I told him before letting him go.

"Uhh easy now there Joe," Jackie said while pushing me back as the tension grew.

"Leave her out of this!" The voice screamed in my head before the Prince decided to get in my face.

"Puny god stop Yak from smashing! Yak not like that!" He then shoves his face into mine. "Puny god and ponies make Yaks mad! Yaks declare war!" I was about to respond, but then everything went black and I felt numb.

When I finally came to, the barn was nearly destroyed, Jackie and Twi were hiding behind a cart, and the three Yaks were beaten and whimpering. "What happened?" I went to help the Yaks, only for them to cower from me.

"L-l-leave Yaks alone. Yaks not declare war. Yaks not declare war!" Rutherford begged while crawling away from me.

My mind was in a haze of confusion, anger, anxiety, and a whole other mess of emotions that made me even more on edge. Just then, Jackie marched up to me, reared up, and slapped her hoof across my face.

“What’s with you?!” I said, holding my cheek. “Why’d you hit me?!”

“Because yer a buckin’ idiot! That’s why!” Jackie screamed at me with tears in her eyes. “Never have you ever lost yer cool like that!”

“But I-!” I tried to say, only to get slapped again.

“Go on, and git!” Jackie barked at me. “Go to Herot and don’t come back! Not until we fix this shit storm you kicked up!”

Not wanting to rile her up any more than she is, I ran out of the barn and headed for Herot. As I kept running, I kept thinking about what happened back there when I blacked out. Whatever it was, it must've been bad when Jackie slaps me and sends me away.

When I made it to the cavern that housed my kingdom, I stopped at the river and just rested. "What in the hell happened? I lose control sometimes, but never like that." I stared at the water, hoping for some answers. As I kept staring, I felt like there was another person looking back at me, or something looking back at me.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a disturbance over by a plateau to the right.

Out of curiosity, I went towards the source of the sound as it grew louder and louder until I finally began to hear boisterous laughter and saw the smoke of a roaring campfire. As I approached the little camp, it wasn't Diamond Dogs around the fire, but rather a bunch of Caribou. They had weapons made from volcanic glass and crude flame throwers. And in their camp, was a member of Caballeron's crew. Explains why they have all this equipment with them. The jackass must've seen me get cut with Ahuizotl's blade.

"Alright, so we take the mayor's kid as bait," One of the soldiers said while sharpening an obsidian knife.

"And the bastard that killed our king and princes will come to us, and we'll kill him, once and for all," A caribou dressed as a general said. "Now, how soon can we move out?"

"You can move out when I throw your miserable corpses back over the border!" I yelled, startling them out of their skins. "You try to invade my wedding. You kidnap fillies from their parents. Now, you try to bait me?" I turned my hands into claws and let out a growl. "Your asses are mine!"

WHAM!!

Just as I said that something hit me hard in the back of the head and I began to black out with the sound of their laughter echoing in my ears.

"Sleepy night night." One of Caballeron's goons smirked before my eyes finally went shut.

I woke up, hanging from my wrists with some sort of chain. When I tried breaking it, they didn't even give. After another couple of attempts, I felt a sharp pain along my side. "Argh!"

"Lookie here, boys! I drew first blood!" A caribou lackey laughed while his buddies cheered.

The bastards danced around me, cutting and burning me as they did. I was their own fucking pinata. "So, this is your fucking plan? Cut me and roast me? All this will do is make me more pissed off." To be honest, the cuts and burns healed way faster than they should.

"Actually we're gonna take a nice little photo of you and send it to your friends." one of them corrected me before cutting me hard across the cheek.

"And then we're gonna demand a HUGE ransom for ya." The other said as he heated his knife.

"Though I doubt anyone will want to look at you once they've seen what we've done."

"And I hope you realize the shit storm that'll come down on you. Hell, you're in my domain. And when I'm done with you all, your heads will be mounted on the tavern walls, and your pathetic excuses for genitals will be paraded through the streets to be laughed at!" I roared in a crazed rant.

"Y'know you've caused a lot of trouble for us and all this time I've been wondering if I ever got my hands on you how would I make you suffer and you know what? I don't need you to suffer, I just want you dead. But I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do when you're dead. I'm gonna skin you and use your hide for a rug and then I'm gonna present it to your little herd right before I fill them full of my young until they are obedient little brood mares." The caribou laughed.

"I'll have all your hides for street decorations!" I pulled harder against the chain holding me. For some reason, the chains weren't giving way, but the same couldn't be said for the rock where the chain was stapled. My captors must have noticed my chance of escape and decided to hit me over the head with a lead pipe. For the second time today, it was lights out.

The minute I woke up, I figured I'd be strapped down and those fuckers would be halfway done skinning my ass. What I didn't expect was the bloodstained floor, walls, and ceiling. Amongst the blood were chunks of what used to be the caribou thugs and Caballeron's goons.

I looked around to see who it was that rescued me. My sons, my soldiers, or even my beloved wives. But I found no one around me, alive that is. I checked to see if my hands were still bound, only to find a shocking discovery. The chains were no longer on my hands, but neither were they clean. Once again, my hands were stained by the blood of my enemy as they have countless times before. But in all the times I've spilled blood, I was always conscious or could at least see what I was doing in my fits of rage. This was something different.

Fleeing the scene, I headed for Beowulf's Mead hall to wash off the blood. Passing my guard and doing my best to avoid the citizenry, I entered the establishment and walked past all the mead and aroma of cooked meat, and slammed into the bathroom. For many minutes I scrubbed and washed the blood off my hands and as I saw in the mirror, my face. As the red liquid washed down the drain, one question kept coming to mind. "What the fuck is going on?"

"I'll tell you." That voice again, this time louder and directly answering me. "I believe it's time we met."

"Show yourself damn it! Where are you!?" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"We are here, with you. We have been for some time now." The voice was really starting to piss me off. "You only need to look inside yourself." I inspected my body, finding nothing to indicate I had any openings or ways for a voice to get in my head. "The mirror, dumbshit!"

Rolling my eyes, I looked in the mirror, finding only my face to greet me. I was about to pull away before I started to notice a change. The image before me slowly changed. My fur started to grow and was smudged with an oily substance. My eyes reformed and became an empty white void. My canine teeth became needle-like in shape and still looked powerful. The final thing I noticed, my tongue became long and thrashed around like a serpent. "What the fuck?"

"Hello. Nice to finally meet you. Face... to face!" The creature spoke to me in a condescending tone.

"What the hell are you? How did you get in me?" I questioned the thing that was invading my body.

The thing grinned, which put me off a bit. "We... were once the consciousness of a great warrior that fell in a great battle. Over the countless millennia, we stayed attached to his weapon, slowly losing what sanity we had left, and gave into all the madness that surrounded us in that frozen hell."

"His weapon? The sword. You mean that sword I pulled from that snake's head?" I asked, feeling foolish for basically talking to myself.

"Exactly. The second your hand touched the sword, I made my way inside you. Giving you advice and helping out with that pest problem."

"So it was you. You took control of me and made me attack the Yaks," I accused him of making me his puppet.

"And tore apart those perverts. By the way, they did not taste very good." Oh, great. Now he has me eating them. Just perfect.

"Well, thank you so much for putting a dent in my sanity and marriage. Now how the hell do I get rid of you?" I gripped the sink with my claws tearing at it.

"You can't. And besides. Why would you want to get rid of me? We can make you stronger than you already are." I wondered what the hell he was talking about, til I remembered all the cuts and burns that didn't do shit to me. "Yes... without me... your guts would be on the floor, and your family in danger."

I gave what he said some serious thought. On the one hand, this thing's basically a parasite that has no real moral code and will add odd comments at random moments. On the other hand, having a faster healing rate and some extra hands ain't such a bad thing. "Alright. Since I can't get rid of you, we're going to establish some ground rules."

"Oh? Do tell..." I could hear the sarcasm in his deep and creepy voice.

"For starters, no showing up without my say-so. Two, no controlling me in situations where I have it under control. Three, and this is the most important thing. No eating sentient beings." Hopefully, he can abide by that.

"Not even the bad ones?" He asked while tilting his head in an attempt to look cute.

I gave that idea some thought. "Only if I give the go-ahead. And another thing, I decide who's evil or not."

"Oh? and who made you god all of the sudden? I can actually smell evil you know?" The creature said while I took this moment to clean off the sweat from my face.

"Doesn't matter and besides we have laws here." I argued.

"Oh? the same kind of laws that would give low lives like those perverts I just ate a chance to defend themselves in court and walk out as free men all so they can commit the same crimes again?"

"The fuck are you talking about? The moment I got free, I was going to shred those fuckers to pieces. And the two ponies I kept alive would be heading to death row." I argued. "Now, could you please just control yourself?"

"No promises but know this, we will interfere when we are needed."

"What's this we stuff anyway?" I asked, having been annoyed by how he referred to himself. "Do you even have a name?"

I waited for a long time to hear his name, but I was met with silence. "We, do not have a name, or if we did, we forgot it." What a shame. Everything deserves a name.

"Would it be alright if I named you?" The creature's face contorted a little before he looked like he agreed and nodded his head. "Alright, let's see." As I thought about a name for him, I noticed how his features are very familiar to a certain Marvel character. "How does, Venom, sound to you?"

The creature rolled the name around before giving out a big, toothy smile. "We... are Venom."

Later

With my affairs with Venom put mostly in order, I started for home, wondering how the hell I would ever explain this to the rest of the family without sounding completely insane. Yeah, right. As the orchard came into view, I saw my sweet Apple Pie, stress-bucking apples. Guess that's on me. When I approached, I put on my charm. "Darling, I-"

"Shut it!" She screamed after putting a huge indent on the tree she was bucking. "After your little stunt today, we had to work doubly hard to make sure the Yaks didn't re-declare war! I don't know what you were thinking with that stunt you pulled, but you better make damn sure it don't happen again!" With every word she said, she took a step closer and even went as far as to step on me and walk on my chest when I fell over so she could get in my face. Finding myself in this situation and needing to make it up to her, not to mention she looks incredibly hot when angry, I let my instincts take over and grabbed her flanks. "Hey! What are yo-Mmmf!"

After our kiss, I turned us around so she was pinned beneath me. "I'm sorry for what happened and I will explain everything to you all later. But right now," I locked lips with her again before reaching down and playing with her mound and teats. "I'm gonna make it up to you very thoroughly~."

"Mmmm! Mmm....orchard. Now!" Applejack said with a commanding tone that made me want her even more.

I grinned down at her before picking her up off the ground and slammed her against the tree she was bucking. I gave her neck a long lick p to her cheek while undoing my pants. "Have I ever told you that you're extremely sexy when you're mad~?"

"I'm about to get even madder if you don't hurry up and fuck me like you mean it!" She used her hind leg to fondle my nuts as my cock kept getting harder from the treatment.

Letting out a growl, I plunged my cock into her wet pussy. "Hard enough for you, babe~!"

"Nng...harder~." My mare panted with a smug look on her face as I held her hooves above her head.

"What about the rest of the family?" Would be very awkward if Bloom were to catch us and then ask about it.

"They won't bother us~." Applejack moaned as I kissed her neck. "So make me scream as loud as you want and maybe we'll call it even~." Damn, I love this mare.

"In that case," I pulled back to where only my tip was left in her. I had my cock change into my Lycan cock before plunging right back into her apple pie. "Moan like a whore~!"

"Ffffuuuucckkkk~! Mmm, I love that knot of yours, babe~!" I smirked at her reaction as we continued to make love in what was basically our workplace. She saw my smirk and got mad again. "Don't look so smug, I'm still mad at you!"

"I know. That's why I'm giving it to you real good~," I told her before squeezing her teat and tracing kisses along her neck.

"Nnng~! I hate it when you do that~!" She told me as we turned around so she could bounce on my cock harder.

"And why is that, my love~?" I asked just as I started teasing her asshole with a finger.

"Cause it makes me feel like I can forgive you for any of your dumbass moments." She then smiles sweetly at me and we share a loving kiss as we kept making love under that tree.

I kept pounding her like there was no tomorrow, going faster with each moan and gasp of pleasure she let out. Every now and then we'd change our position or lock lips once again. Honestly, we were in no hurry to be away from each other's warmth. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Mmm, you may have mentioned it. Maybe you oughta remind me~?" Jackie said while leaning back to kiss me.

After our kiss, I hilted my knot inside her and came at least a gallon's worth of cum in her country womb. Rubbing her belly and splattering a few extra drops on her teats, I kissed her neck before we both lay down. "I love you, so very very much."

"Mmm, I love you too, Sugarcube~." Sensing our fatigue, we both took a short nap under the shade of that apple tree.

After our nap, we cleaned each other in the stream before heading over to Ponyville to see that Pinkie had come through with the party. Not a Yak culture party, but just one of her amazing parties. Over by the punch, I saw Pinkie talk with the Prince and his entourage. Knowing our little play time was only half of what I needed to do, I went up to the yaks. "Prince Rutherford, a word, if you will." The minute the three saw me, they started to shake with fear. "Please, none of that. I'm here to apologize for my actions earlier today. Suffice to say, I was not myself."

The Prince gathered himself, doing his best to gather the famous Yak pride, and answered. "Yaks, accept gods apology. If, god not hurt us again." I smirked before nodding at his terms. "Good. Now, we party!"

"Agreed. And here, as a token of both my apology and our alliance," I pulled out my new flask from my bag and poured a bit of what was inside into their mugs. "Mead, from the halls of Valhalla. A drink worthy of the gods." I saluted them with my flask and we drank to our friendship. Though the second the liquid touched their lips, they fell over, drunk as skunks. "Hmph. Lightweights."

Author's Note

Something I've been wanting to add ever since I saw that movie. You can expect a lot more.

Night Terror

A week after the Yak's visited and after Twilight made up with some old friends of hers from Canterlot, I had gathered all my friends and family for an important meeting. And for what I was about to tell them, it was best to do it in a familiar and happy place. Since I didn't feel like taking everyone to Orlando, Sugarcube Corner would have to do.

I had the place closed for a private party and had everyone sit at a booth. Of course I had my wives and children with me at the center booth, our friends next to us on the left, and Kamehameha and the top brass of Herot to our right. After fifteen minutes of light mingling, I got up from the table and went to the counter. "Everyone, may I have your attention please?"

As I got everyone's attention, the weight of what I was about to do finally set in, and I was starting to think this was a bad idea. "Don't worry." I heard Venom in my head as all eyes were on me. "It'll take a lot more than me to scare them away. Though the yellow one might scream."

"Thanks for the encouragement," I told the entity before clearing my throat and looking over everyone. "I suppose you're all wondering why I called you all here."

"Yeah, you kinda just brought it out of the blue." Rainbow Dash said

"Is everything okay, Joe?" Applejack asked while drinking some cider.

"There's no major threat again, is there?" Twilight asked

"Oh, oh, oh! Is it for a surprise party!? Because if it is, then do we need to leave and come back, or is it for someone else?" Pinkie asked me.

"No, Pinkie, this isn't a party. Fact of the matter is, I'm not exactly sure what to call this," I told them as I took a breath to steady my nerves. "Not many of you know this, hell, Jackie and Twilight might be the only ones who have an inkling of what I'm about to show you." Really wish I had my flask right about now. "Okay, here it goes."

Like we practiced, Venom came out from my right shoulder, making it appear like I had a second head on my neck. Everyone in the room backed away and gasped from the sight, that includes the ones that have seen battle. After a few seconds of everyone getting a good look at him, he introduced himself. **"Hello, non-snacks."** He hissed at them all. "We... are Venom." He then looks over at me. "Did we do good?"

"Aside from you wanting to eat my family and friends, you're a damn marvel," I told him before looking at everyone. "Go ahead and start asking what you want to ask."

"What the hell is that!?" Swagger shouted while keeping his hand over his pistol.

"He's the consciousness of a very old being. Come to think of it, what was his name?" I asked Venom as he was eyeing the cupcakes. "Hey!"

"What!? We are hungry!" He argued back before answering. "He was called the Wise One. Though if you ask me, he wasn't very wise."

"Why are you attached to our husband?" Celestia asked next.

"We attached ourself to him when he grabbed the sword from the serpent's head." Venom munched on the plate of cupcakes after answering. "Ooooh, that is good."

"Y-y-y-you're not really gonna eat us, a-a-are you?" Fluttershy asked with her usual timid voice. Although seeing a sickly wolf head pop from my shoulders and call everyone a snack, I could hardly blame her.

"No. We were instructed to eat bad guys. Or anyone who annoys us." Venom's answer made everyone nervous.

"No! Only bad guys. And even then, only murderers and the worst. But he will not eat any of you." I explained to them.

"We also like chocolate! It tastes very good," Venom continued.

"Oh! Like chocolate cake, and cookies, and candy bars, and shakes, and sprinkles, and-mmph!" Pinkie's questioning was halted by Jackie placing her hat over her muzzle.

"I like her. Very energetic. And she smells like Cotton Candy! Wonder if she tastes like it to." Venom wondered.

Pinkie pushed the hat away and answered. "Only Cheese Sandwich knows for sure." That brought a few of us to blush or whistle.

After we all calmed down from Pinkie's sex life, Luna got up from her seat and stared right at Venom. "Are you the one who's been giving my husband nightmares?" Venom simply nodded. "And are you the one who blocked me from entering his dreams, or even see that he was distressed?" Again, Venom just nodded. Luna closed her eyes and I could see a tear come out one. "Some protector of dreams I am."

Feeling this was enough, I had Venom retreat back into me before hugging Luna. "Honey, you are the best dream guardian anyone could ever ask for. Don't ever forget that." I wiped away her tears before kissing her cheek.

She was still sad, but she still gave me a smile and returned the kiss. "Thank you, my love." She then nuzzled my cheek before we returned to our table.

As we sat, I noticed that Kamehameha and my generals have been silent this whole time. "Something you would like to add, old friend?"

"Just that no matter what, you are still our king, and we will still follow you," Kameha told me while he and the other generals saluted me.

"You've all been loyal and stood by me in the battle against Tirek. I'm grateful to have generals such as you. Now then, in light of everything, how about we have a party?"

That night, Luna's POV

After we went to bed, I went about my duties as protector of dreams, as my husband reminded me earlier. But if I can't stop or see his nightmares, then how can I really call myself a protector?

I passed by my son's dream door, and saw that there was a pink mist coming from it. "He must be dreaming of Sunset again." I giggled at that thought before moving on. I passed by my daughters door, and took a peak to see her flying with the Wonderbolts and having all of us cheer for her. "That's my girl."

As time went on, I searched many doors, fought back many nightmares, and set many young ponies on the right path. I also peeked in on a few lustful dreams that gave me a few ideas for our bedroom at home.

After about an hour and no other sign of anyone else having a nightmare, I decided it would be best to return to my own dream. Just as I was nearing my door, I found myself drawing close to Joe's door. I found nothing wrong with it, but nothing was wrong with it when my husband woke up screaming his head off.

Steeling myself for anything, I stepped through the door. At first, I found nothing awry, I even found it pleasant. Just then, the clouds started to grow dark and thunder was crashing all around me. Fearing the worst, I raced across the landscape looking for my husband.

I looked to the skies, the forests, and even the vast sea that my beloved was dreaming about, but I couldn't find him. Finally, I reach a lone mountain with a peak that reached up into the clouds, and where all the thunder and lightning seemed to be coming from.

Flying up to the peak, I braved through the fog and lighting to find what is bothering my husband. When I reached the top, I had to hold back a gasp of terror at what I was witnessed to.

Joe was taken over by the creature known as Venom, and all around him were the dead bodies of our friends and family. Worse yet, he was gnawing on our daughter, Scootaloo. Unable to witness this horror any longer, I readied my magic and blasted the creature I called my husband. "Away with you, you vile creature!"

The blast I delivered would usually destroy the mightiest of nightmares and would cause the dreamer to awake. Instead, I heard the laughter of that demented creature as it walked through the smoke. "I'll enjoy feasting on your bones!" That was the last thing I heard before he lunged at me, tackling me to the ground and pinning me there. The last thing I saw was the monster extend his jaws before closing in on me, and then darkness.

Waking World

"Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!" I awoke screaming in pure terror from the horrible ordeal. My screams woke my husband and herd mates as they tried to comfort me. But when I felt Joe's hand on me, I was reminded of those teeth and black void. I pushed away from him and scrambled to the floor. "Get away from me!"

My further outbursts caused our children to barge into our room. "What's going on!?" When I saw Scootaloo ask us that, I immediately held her in my hooves and cried. "Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Fighting back my sobs and holding our daughter closer, I returned to bed. "I was on patrol in the dream world like I do every night." I then look over to Joe and a small twinge of fear returned. "When I went to check on your dream..." I just started crying again while holding our daughter close.

Joe's POV

Seeing Luna cry broke my heart. And the worst part of it is, it was all my fault. Venom had taken over my dream and was hungry. If Luna hadn't woken up screaming, I would have. When I saw Tia, Jackie, and Jack join in on comforting Luna, I went to do the same. However, when I got near, she hid away from me.

Feeling heartbroken that my own wife feared me, I grabbed my shirt before heading for the door. I wanted to say something to comfort her, but feared I would just make things worse. So without another word, I left for the woods.

I woke up to the sight of the morning light piercing through the leaves and the sound of the river nearby. After getting a good stretch in, I went over to the river and started washing my face. I heard the water stir and I looked up to see a familiar face. "Morning, Steven. How are you doing today?"

"Morning, Joe. And I'm doing super, thanks for asking. What brings you out here? Another hunting trip?" He asked me while leaning in close.

"No. No, I'm... I messed up. Big time," I told him before sitting on a stump.

I was surprised when I was given a large fish to eat. "Please, tell me everything. I'm here to listen."

I took a bite from the fish and let out a sigh. "Where to begin?"

An hour later

"And now my lovely wife, Luna, is afraid of me. And to be honest, I don't blame her," I told Steven before throwing the bones away.

"Oh I agree. That Venom guy sounds scary," Steven told me.

"What should I do? I want to go over there and tell her I'm sorry. But I'm afraid if I do, I'll see the same fear I saw last night. And I don't know if I could bare to see her look at me that way again," I pondered my options while playing with my knife.

"Well if it were me that made my spouse fear me because of some supernatural second personality, which I'm so glad it's not, I'd give her a little time to come to terms with what she saw, and of course show her that you still love her," He told me with a kind smile.

"Sage advice. Guess one more night away wouldn't be the end of the world or our relationship." I brought out my phone and called home.

After hearing the dial tone for a few seconds, someone picked up. "Hello?" To my dismay, Luna was the one to pick up. "Hello?"

"Honey," I could already feel her flinch at the sound of my voice. "Listen, I'm going to stay in the woods for another night. I-I know what you saw was frightening, but just know that I love you with all my heart, and I would never do anything to hurt you."

There was a pause between us before I heard her sigh. "I love you to. I'm sorry this is happening between us, but after last night.... I just need some time to adjust."

"Take all the time you need my love. I'll see you all tomorrow. Give my love to the others," I asked her while making a kiss noise.

"Will do, darling." I heard her kiss the phone before it hung up, telling me that she still loves me.

"Well, now that that's settled, what should we do?" Steven asked as I put my phone away.

"Wanna get hammered?" I asked him while bringing out my flask.

For the next few hours, we sat by the river bank, drinking from an ever flowing flask of mead. Despite the circumstances, it was nice to catch up with Steven. I don't do that enough with everyone.

"I didn't know you knew Cranky," I told him while getting my flask back.

"Oh yeah, we-hrrk-go way back. We met while he was looking for the love of his life," Steve told me while he felt a little swirly.

"Matilda. I met her back home and he had no idea she was in Ponyville. Though in Cranky's defense, leaving a note on the door facing the room isn't the best place to have a note."

"Well, the important thing is, they found each other. In all honesty, when I first met Cranky, he was grumbling to himself while making a little shelter made of sticks." I'm getting visions of Winnie the Pooh.

As we kept on, the day soon turned to night, and I headed back for my little camp and started a fire. "Venom, get your ass out here, now!"

Out from my neck, Venom came out and he had a neutral look about him. "What? We were enjoying our nap."

"Oh, well sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep. But as you can plainly see, you're fucking up my marriage!" I grabbed what may as well be his neck and started squeezing. "Why the fuck did you attack Luna in my dream!? What were you thinking!?"

"We were hungry! We didn't know it was her, we thought it was just in your head!" Venom countered before slipping out of my grasp.

"That's another thing, why were you eating my friends and loved ones in my dream!? You trying to make me turn on them or something!?" I argued back before trying to attack him again.

The slippery bastard kept dodging my attempts to grab him. "You weren't dreaming about food, we had to improvise!"

"Was waking me up out of the question!?" I roared before trying to slash at him.

"We tried! It was like trying to wake up a tree!" Venom said before biting my arm.

For the next few hours, we kept arguing with each other while fighting. I imagine it must've looked ridiculous since he was attached to me. It wasn't until the afternoon that we stopped and laid on the grass, exhausted.

Just as I was about to start fighting with myself again, I heard a rustling in the trees above. I was about to draw my ax, until I heard a very familiar voice. "Dad! Dad, where are you!?" It was Scootaloo, and she was looking for her father.

"I'm down here, Squirt!" Out from the tree tops, Scoots emerged before zipping right at my chest and I heard her crying. "Hey, hey. What's with the tears?"

Scootaloo kept sniffling in my arms, so I just kept hold of her, even started rocking on my heels to help calm her down.

After half an hour, Scoots calmed down enough to stop crying so heavily. "Okay, you calmed down?" Scoots nodded while still hiding her head in my chest. "You wanna tell me what's got you upset?"

"You," She said in a low sad tone.

"Me? Why are you upset at me?" I asked, hoping things weren't getting worse in my household.

"I don't want you to leave us!" She yelled in my face with her bloodshot eyes. "I lost one dad, I don't to lose you too!"

Hearing that, I held her tighter and kissed her forehead. "Scoots, no matter what happens between me and your mothers, I will never stop being your father, ever." I had her look up at me and smiled at her. "And you, will never stop being my daughter." She wiped her nose before smiling up at me. "Do your mothers know you're out here?" I asked while taking a seat on a fallen tree.

"Yeah." She sniffled again before curling up in my lap. "I told them I was gonna go look for you. I told them I didn't want you guys to get a divorce."

"Well, I can tell you right now, that ain't gonna happen." I hope. "Anyway, since I told your mothers I would be spending another night out in the woods, how about you and me have a camp out tonight?"

"Really, can we!?" That seemed to perk her up.

"Yep. We'll have a campfire, s'mores, stories, and sleep under the stars," I told her before heading out further into the woods.

Evening

I built our makeshift shelter for the night while Scoots gathered wood for the fire. When I contemplated going into town for dinner and S'more stuff, I was surprised to see a bag filled with veggies and S'more stuff. There was a note on top with Pinkie's cutiemark on it.

Laughing to myself, I read the card. 'Here's something to help your camp out. Have fun.'

Smiling at her gesture, I went to make dinner for us. With our soup eaten we made S'mores. After we made our dessert, it was time to tell ghost stories. "You sure you want to hear one? You remember the last time we told scary stories."

"I'm a big girl now, dad. I can handle a story... just.... nothing without a head," Scoots asked me with a sheepish grin.

I chuckled a little before rustling her hair. "Deal. Everyone will keep their head." We settled in on our seats and I began to conjure a screen for us to watch and listen.

As the story went on, I saw Scootaloo never kept her eyes off the image. Smirking, I went behind her and waited for the end of the story. "Where is my tooooooeeoooe!"

"You've got it!" I roared while grabbing Scoot's sides, making her jump a little.

"Gaaaaahhhh!" I laughed as she trembled in my arms, before she started hitting my chest with her hooves. "That wasn't funny, daddy! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Okay, okay, mercy," I begged with a smile and blocked her blows. After she calmed down, I saw the moon was reaching its zenith. "Alright, supper eaten, dessert taken care of, and scaring my daughter." That part earned me another bop from her. "Time for bed."

"Okay." Scoots hopped off my lap and went to her sleeping bag. When I was in mine, she yawned and laid her head down. "Good night, dad."

"Good night, Squirt. See you in the morning." I snapped my fingers and the fire went out, leaving only the moon and stars to light our surroundings before we both fell asleep.

(Dream Realm)

I found myself waking up in a giant marshmallow, because why not. After eating my way out of the dream sugary goodness, I decided it would be best if I check up on Scoots. I knew she was a tough girl, but even I knew that story would scare her.

Leaving my dream and heading toward Scoots dream, I saw a glimpse of Luna's tail as she entered someone else's dream. I thought about following her, try and make things right with her early, but then I thought that might make things worse between us.

So, going back to my original plan, I went through Scootaloo's door and already I could tell I screwed up. The atmosphere was like a black and white movie, and no sound could be heard. Over to the right, I saw a small two story house described in the story. Climbing up to the window, I saw Scoots was already hiding under the sheets. "Fraidy cat." I heard Venom say.

"Shut your damn mouth!" I thought before climbing in through the window. "Squirt? You alright?" Upon hearing my voice, Scoots got up from the bed and hugged me tight. "Okay, from now on, only Simpsons video's and nothing else. Agreed?"

"Agreed! Now let's go before-"

"WHERE'S MY TOOOOOE!!" We looked over to the bedroom door where sound was coming from. Suddenly, the knob started to turn.

"Time to go," I told her before we left out of the house and toward the door. Just before the door closed behind the dream, the house exploded and a loud roar was heard. "Well, that was a close call."

"Indeed it was." Scoots and I turned around to see Luna sitting behind us with a neutral look.

"Hi, mom," Scoots said before going over and giving Luna a hug, making her smile.

"Hello, sweetheart." Luna wrapped her wing around our daughter. "Another one of your father's stories?"

Scoots nodded with a sheepish grin. "I thought I could listen and not have a nightmare. Guess I was wrong."

Luna leaned down and kissed the top of Scoots head. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Facing something you fear is one of the bravest things anyone could do. I'm very proud of you." As the two of them hugged, Luna glances my way. "Honey, could you give mommy and daddy a minute to talk?" She asked before opening Scoots dream door where it had been turned into a skate park.

"Okay, mom." Scoots left for her dream, leaving Luna and me alone.

Before I could say anything, Luna conjured a table, two chairs, and two cups of beer. She took her seat and waited for me to do the same. After taking my seat, I tried to speak with her. "Luna, I-" She held up a hoof to silence me.

"Honey, before you say anything, I want you to know that I still love you. What happened the other night scared me more than anything else, and considering what I deal with on a nightly basis, that's really saying something." She took a drink from her cup before continuing. "However, since that night, I've learned to come to terms with what's happening with you and your... parasite."

Venom didn't seem to like that and sprang out of my neck. "Who are you calling parasite!?" The sudden appearance caused Luna to shoot a beam at Venom, forcing him to retreat back into me.

I saw Luna with the same look of horror as that night. "Luna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for him to come out! I-"

"I know!" She calmed down before laying a hoof on my hand. "It will take some getting used to, but we also miss you, and want you home." She took a breath before hugging me. I felt her shudder in my embrace, but it melted away as soon as I started rubbing her back. "My love."

I kissed her neck, right below her ear, which I found out long ago was her most erogenous area before hugging her tighter. "I'll do all I can to control him. I love you." We separated and I saw Luna with a smile and tears in her eyes. "See you tomorrow?"

"I look forward to it." We shared a loving kiss before she went about her work.

After watching her leave for another dream, I knew that I would have to double if not triple my efforts to keep Venom on a very short leash. With Luna's kiss still fresh on my lips, I went back to my dream.

The next morning

After packing up our camp, Scoots and I headed home, and we saw Jack was making breakfast. "Morning, son."

"Hey, dad, sis. Have fun camping?" Jack asked while flipping pancakes.

"It was great, up until the ghost story, but the rest was awesome!" Scoots cheered before taking her seat at the table.

I went to help Jack with the eggs before asking, "How are your mothers?"

"They're doing alright. Ma's out in the orchard with Uncle Mac and Aunt Bloom. Mama Tia's resting on the couch." He paused as he thought about what to say about Luna. "And Mama Luna's getting ready to head to Canterlot."

Hearing that pained me. I knew it was Luna's turn to meet up with the nobles up in Canterlot, but she never leaves this early. And worse still, it's all because of me. "I'll go talk with her real quick." I patted Jack on the back before heading upstairs. When I made it to our room, I saw Luna was gathering her papers. "Honey."

Luna stiffened at the sound of my voice. Not a good sign. She turned around and put on a fake smile for me. "Hello dear." She saw my expression and could tell I wasn't buying it. I motioned for her to sit down on the bed next to me. When we sat next to each other, she started. "Joe, honey. I desperately want to forget what happened and move on. But then I think of that creature and what he did and..." She couldn't finish. She just went into a fit of shivers, so I wrapped my arm around her.

I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. "I know. It'll take time. And we have a long time to work it out." I hugged her tighter and kissed her neck again. "I love you."

"I love you too." At least I knew that was genuine. "Let's have breakfast before I leave."

"Sounds like a plan," I told her before picking her up like my bride. "To breakfast my love." We shared a kiss before heading down to breakfast.

A week later

"So how are things with you and Twilight?" Swagger and I were at Berry's bar, talking the shit and getting hammered like we do every week.

"Everything's going great. We went to Canterlot and rekindled her with her old friends. Most of them were easy enough, but there was this one mare. Her name is Moondancer and she was a real piece of work." Swagger took a quick shot before continuing. "All she did was study. Not even for a specific goal, she just studied for the sake of studying."

"Eish! Reminds me of a certain bookworm I know that's dating a former Marine." Swagger nudged me while we laughed at the situation. "So, what did you wind up doing?"

"We threw her a party, got her and Twilight to make up, and I'm a little embarrassed to say, but I think she might be attracted to me," Swagger and I laughed again before Berry came over with another round. "So... how are things going with Luna?"

I let out a deep sigh before downing my beer in one go. "On the surface, it's alright. Though I can tell she's still wary of me, or should I say, Venom!"

Venom came out of my neck, and I guess the beer was going straight to him, because he was slurring every word. "Don't tchou blame us for tat! Weeeee were wanting num nums! You did not wake!" He then dove his head into the bowl of pretzels.

I shook my head as he pigged out. "Anyway, it's getting better. We even have a date night tomorrow." I took a swig before looking at my reflection in the bar mirror. "Things will get better."

That night

As I settled into bed, Jackie and Tia were the first to crawl in next to me. Luna came up next and spooned against Jackie. Even though Tia is her sister, Luna found comfort in Jackie's presence when I'm not around. Or in this case, when she's still trying to hide her fear of her own husband.

"Goodnight, Tia," I kissed her goodnight.

Tia returned the kiss. "Goodnight my love." She soon snuggled to my side.

"Night, darlin'," Jackie said while kissing me goodnight.

"Night, sweetheart," I told her before kissing her cheek. Two down, one to go. "Goodnight, my love."

Luna smiled at me before leaning over Jackie and we came into a kiss. "Sweet dreams, dear husband."

Her kiss was still warm on my lips as we all slipped into the comforts of sleep. Hopefully by tomorrow, the ordeal of the past week will be a distant memory.

A few hours later

"Aaaahhh!" We all woke to the sound of Luna's scream. I saw her cling to the blanket and she had a cold sweat. I thought I was the source of her discomfort, so I went to leave, only for her to cling to my arm for dear life. "Don't leave! Please, stay," She pleaded while holding me closer.

I don't know for sure if I was the cause of her awakening or her saving grace. But as of now, my wife asked me to stay and comfort her. And so I did.

I brought her on my lap and wrapped her in my wings. Jackie embraced us from her side while Tia draped the blanket over us. It took nearly an hour, but sleep finally found us again.

(The next morning)

I woke with the morning sun, and found Luna was still clinging to my arm with a content smile. Seeing her smile melted all my worries out the door. As I kissed her fore head, her eyes opened and she kissed me back. "Good morning dear," I told her as I cuddled her closer.

"Morning, sweet heart." She nuzzled me close as we just held each other.

"So... are we okay?" I asked, hoping things really were back to normal.

Her answer came in the form of another gentle kiss. "More than okay~." Off to the side, Tia woke up with a groggy look and smacked her lips. "Morning sister."

"Mmmm morning." Tia called back before she put a hoof over her mouth and bolted for the bathroom.

"Oof. Morning sickness," Jackie said as she woke up next. She looked over at Luna and me holding each other and smiled. "Well, glad to see things are back to what they were."

"It is." I gave both of them a kiss before bringing Jackie into the cuddle. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Kinda. Was having a wonderful dream when suddenly this starry wisp comes flying around and the entire orchard goes south," She told us.

"A-a black wisp?" Luna asked, sounding concerned. When Tia came out of the bathroom. "Sister, did you see a black wisp as well?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure," Tia said with tears in her eyes from puking last night's dinner.

While Jackie and I went to comfort Tia, Luna looked worried about something.

Rarity's place

Luna, Jackie, and I were at Rarity's place to give our pets a much needed cleaning. Especially Hercules after he chased down Angel through the mud. "Now Herc, you know better than to chase after rabbits, especially Angel." Herc looked at me with a sad expression while he had soap on his fur. I chuckled before patting him. "Crazy nut."

Herc licked my cheek as I kept cleaning him. Meanwhile, Jackie and Luna gave Winnona and Tibbles a good brushing. We would've brought Philomina, but she prefers to plume her own feathers.

Yowl!!

Opal let out a displeased yowl when Rarity pricked her tail with her comb. "Oh my! Sorry Opal, dear. Mommy didn't get enough sleep last night."

Hearing that, Luna looked right at Rarity with a horrified look. "Was it a bad dream?" She handed me Tibbles before going up to her. "Was there a starry black wisp?" At the mention of that, the rest of the girls gasped. Guess they had the same dream.

"Why yes." Rarity confirmed.

"Hey I dreamed about a strange star thingy too!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Same here y'all." Applejack admitted.

"Me too." Rainbow stated.

'Um me too." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Looks like we all did." Twilight stated.

"Oh no...no, no, no, no, no, no, no." Luna muttered as she began to pace back and forth, worry clear across her face.

I put Tibbles on Hercules' head, where he started to scrub the top of his head, and headed for Luna and hugged her. "Sweetie, what is it?"

Luna took a few calming breaths before looking around at all of us. "It's called a Tantabus. A living manifestation of the worst possible nightmares." Hearing this, the girls stopped what they were doing and listened intently. "Only three times has a Tantabus taken form. Usually during hard times and when ponies have the same horrible dream. They can spread to other ponies dreams if they're being dreamed by someone plagued by the Tantabus."

Twilight, even in her dreary state took notes on everything Luna had said. While she was doing that, Jackie came up and looked into Luna's eyes. "Honey, why is there one now?"

Luna let out a sad sigh before answering. "As you know, I've been having nightmares of the incident involving our husbands' ride along."

"Oh! I like that one. Much better than Parasite!" I heard Venom say in my head.

"In an effort to rid myself of these thoughts and nightmares about it. I purged it from my mind so I could no longer fear my own husband." Sorrow was soon clear on her face. "In my efforts, I'm afraid I created the Tantabus and it escaped into the dream realm."

Hearing this, I brought Luna into a hug. "It's not your fault. If anything, it's my fault."

"No, it's that varmint's fault!" Jackie told me, only for Venom to use a tendril and push her hat down over her eyes. "Hey! You no good rotten!" She muttered while fixing her hat.

I slapped the tendril away and rubbed Luna's side. "So what do we do now?"

"Destroy it before it gets bigger. The first one reached an incredible size before it did something I thought impossible. It left the dream realm." She paused to let that info sink in. "When it escaped, it fled to the forest and sank itself into the trees. That's how the first Timberwolves came about."

"Must write it all!" Twilight was doing her thing by writing everything Luna said. In her defense, this was worth taking notes on.

"So destroy this creature before it can get any bigger. How do we do that?" Dash asked after applying turtle wax to Tank.

"Joe and I will enter your dreams tonight, and hunt down the Tantabus before it can grow anymore." Luna's expression then becomes deadly focused. "I must warn you all now. Do not for even a moment, dream of anyone else you know. The Tantabus will target and go into their dreams to gain more power."

"Wait! does this mean what I think it means!?" Pinkie asked while zipping around before stopping in the center of the room with her arty cannon. "Slumber party!" She shot off her confetti that startled the pets and caused Hercules to jump out of the tub and shake himself dry all over us.

"Pinkie!" We all yelled after getting wet confetti all over us.

The following evening

"Thank you Twilight, for allowing us your home for this endeavor," Luna thanked Twilight as Swagger and I started moving some beds into the living room.

"No trouble at all. We would've had this in my room, but..." Twilight trailed off while looking over at Swagger.

"I see. I take it things are going well with Bob," Luna asked while watching me and Swagger work.

"Very," Twilight said while getting some extra sheets.

Luna came over to me and nuzzled my side. "I'm sorry this came up during our date night."

"Don't worry about it, honey. Saving everyone is slightly more important than us going out to dinner." I kissed her cheek before everyone started getting into their beds. "When this is over, we'll go on a romantic outing, just the two of us."

"I'd love that very much." We kissed on it before Luna addressed our friends. "Now, everyone will need to fall asleep in order for Joe and I to enter your dreams and hopefully destroy the Tantabus before it can get any larger."

"ARE YOU KIDDING?!?" Pinkie shouted. "This is so exciting! I don't know how I'm ever going to-Snnkkkkk hooooonk...." Just like a rock, her usually bubbly energy instantly dissipated from the lack of sleep she suffered earlier and it didn't take much for the others to follow her lead as they all drifted off to sleep, allowing Luna to cast her spell.

The spell enveloped the two of us as we lifted up into the air. Soon, tendrils of light sprang from her horn and onto the girls foreheads, and our consciousness soon went into the first pony to start dreaming. Which just happened to be Rarity.

Once we had reached Rarity's dream, we saw that the Tantabus had already been by, if the killer dresses trying to eat Rarity was any indication. "Oh my. It seems the creature works fast," Luna commented before she and I went into action.

Luna blasted the disastrous dresses while I shredded them into dish clothes. "Come on, you grotesque garments! I've taken on trolls nastier than you!"

The floating dresses seemed to take this as a personal challenge and swarmed me. While I kept turning them into rags, Luna was on the lookout for the Tantabus. "Come out, vile creature! Face your demise!"

As if to answer, the Tantabus came out from one of the dresses and branched out, bringing every shredded piece of fabric and dress toward it, creating what looked like to me anyway, a grotesque centipede of cloth and fabric, with a large circular mouth with zippers for teeth.

"Oh dear. I've never had dreams like this before," Rarity said as she made a makeshift bunker out of dressers.

"Must be mixed in with a few of my dreams or memories," I confessed while my hand was engulfed in flame and I started setting fire to the fashion disaster.

The creature shrieked in agony as the flames consumed it. Nearing its demise, the creature spat out the Tantabus out a nearby window and into the next dream.

"Come my love!" Luna barked while using her magic to snuff out the monster completely. "The Tantabus is heading for another dream!"

After clearing the ash from my eyes, I nodded. "Coming! Rarity, you gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine, darling. Maybe a nice beach dream would be best," Rarity contemplated as I followed Luna to the next dream.

When we entered the next dream, it looked like we entered stock footage of all the different landscapes in Equestria. When we saw Pinkie walking by, singing her usual tune, we understood everything. "La la la la, oh, hey guys! What's up?" Pinkie asked before the world around us changed after she jumped from the ground.

"We're here to stop the Tantabus, what else?" I told her before almost slipping on the ice, only to get bashed with a cactus. "Ouch."

Luna giggled at my expense before turning to Pinkie. "Pinkie, we need you to focus, please. We tracked the Tantabus here and-." She was interrupted when the world changed to the dragon lands.

"Sorry, can't help it. Once I-" When the world changed to her room filled with cake, we stopped." Oooh! Cake!" She went to take a bite, but then the multi-layered cake tried to take a bite out of her. I pulled her back in time just as the other cakes started to mutate and close in on us. "Eeew! Cake!"

"I could make a devil's food cake pun, but I feel that would be cheesy," I said, just before I was fired upon by a cheesecake. "Really?"

"You asked for that one."I heard Luna say before she had a magic shield burst across the room, splattering all the cakes on the room. A pastry massacre. As we cleared the frosting from ourselves, we spotted the Tantabus enter an empty box. "There it is!" Luna dove after it, only for her to crash into the statue of me and Spike from the Crystal Empire.

"Sorry," Pinkie apologized.

Just then, Leslie Nelson popped out from the castle and looked over at Luna and I. "I just wanna tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you." And then he was gone.

Once we were in the next dream, we were outside Fluttershy's cottage. Everything seemed fine, though we were a bit weirded out by the fact Fluttershy was being groomed by a twenty foot tall Angel and was being fed grapes by Discord in a toga. "Mmm, it's nice to be the pet for once." Shy commented while Angel brushed her mane.

"Well... this is a little... is disturbing the word I'm looking for?" I asked Luna.

"Hmm, I would say it's more peculiar than anything," Luna said just as Discord waved over at us. "Wait a second. Discord, is that really you?"

Discord came over and snapped away his attire. "Yeah. I figured Flutters and I could spend a little more time this way. So, what brings you two here?"

"You'd know if you attended the meeting, instead of binge watching King of the Hill," I told him, a little annoyed.

"Yeah, man, but I tell you what, that Boomhaur speaks to me, with his dang old way of speaking," Discord answered before the Tantabus zoomed over our heads. "What in the world!?"

"That would be what we're hunting," Luna said as the starry blotch grazed Angel's fluffy tail, turning him into a monster. Well, more of a monster.

"Aaaah!" Shy screamed just as Angel tried to swipe her with his claws, only for Discord to swoop in and save her. "Oh, thank you, Discord."

"Anytime," Discord told her as they landed on top of a nearby tree.

Soon, Angelzilla started gnawing at the trunk to get at them. "Time to make you into rabbit stew!" As soon as I said that, Angel was placed into a giant pot and the water was already starting to boil. "Hmm, must be affecting the dream." I pondered before Luna and I saw our target head inside a birdhouse.

"Quickly, it's getting away!" Luna opened another door and were in another dream. As it turns out, we were in Jackie's dream. "Darling, have you-" We were halted in our pursuit when we saw Jackie in the barn, on her back, spread-eagled, and surrounded by three look-a-likes of me, giving it to her in every hole. "Oh my."

"And here I thought Tia was the kinky one," I said while trying my best not to pop a boner or join in.

Shaking her head, Luna went over to Jackie, doing her best not to check out the other clones of me. Licking her lips, Luna tapped on Jackie's shoulder. "Dear. I hate to interrupt a perfect dream such as this. But have you seen the Tantabus?"

"Glrrk! Glrrk! Glrrk! Pwah! Can't say that I have." Jackie smirked at us before my clones vanished. "Think you two have time for a quickie~?"

Just before we could answer, a bright flash caught our attention outside the barn. When we went to investigate, we all saw a mushroom cloud off where our house is, or in this case, was. The initial wave started destroying the trees and sending the dust high into the air.

Without a second thought, I created a shield around the three of us as the destructive wave came close. "Hold onto me!" I brought Jackie and Luna in my arms as the blast got to us.

After a few minutes, the force against the shield subsided and everything was quite. When we opened our eyes, everything around us, everything we called home, was turned to dust. All of us were devastated, but Jackie took it the hardest. "Our home." She walked out to the dust and fell to her knees when she saw the skeletons of her parents, her siblings, and our kids.

As she started to cry over our home and family, we saw the Tantabus make for another dream. As Luna opened another portal, I came up behind Jackie and hugged her close to my chest. "Don't look. It's all a dream. The farm's still intact, and our family's sleeping soundly." I kissed her cheek before getting up. "I'll see you in the waking world."

"Don't leave!" Jackie begged as she gripped my hand. I had never seen her so scared in my whole life, it filled me with so much worry and at the same time so much anger.

"You know I'd never do that." I told her with a reassuring kiss to the forehead. To ease her fears, I had her parents' marriage tree sprout from the ashes. Behind the trunk, her parents came around and brought Jackie over to her siblings and Granny by the stone. "Be safe my love." Knowing she'd be safe, I followed Luna to the next dream. After landing next to her, I noticed I was ankle deep in cream cheese frosting. When I looked up, I saw a layered cake the size of a mountain. "Is it safe to assume this is Celestia's dream?"

"What was your first clue?" Luna asked with sarcasm before we noticed Celestia on a diving platform in a rather smoking hot golden bikini as she prepared to dive into her mountain of a dessert. "Last time she requested chocolate pudding cake."

"WEEEEE!!!" Celestia screamed out like a filly as she did a belly flop into the icing and splattered us both from head to toe.

"I'd be concerned about the baby if this weren't a dream," I said before tasting the icing. "Not bad." Soon, Tia popped her head out from the cake a few feet away from us. "Enjoying yourself, dear?"

"Oh yes. This is my second favorite dream." Her look soon became sultry as she climbed out of the frosting. "Want to know my favorite dream?"

"Sister, we don't have time for an exhibition gangbang, we have a nightmare fueled monster to stop," Luna proclaimed as the once sunny sky became dark. "Oh no. It's already here."

Readying my ax, I waited for whatever it was that was coming. Soon, thunder cracked in the sky and it started to rain. Only it wasn't water that was coming down, it was asparagus and broccoli. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"AHHH!!" Celestia gave a rather dramatic scream as she looked at the mountains of vegetables surrounding us.

"Really sister you can be a filly sometimes." Luna sighed.

"I don't get it, it's just broccoli." I said when Luna told me to lean in closer.

"One time when we were young, some broccoli got stuck in her teeth during a meeting."

"Ohhh...that's embarrassing."

"And the less said about asparagus, the better," Luna said as we watched Tia take shelter under a frosting dollop. Honestly, it was hard to decide if we should help or laugh.

Our answer came when we saw the Tantabus leave the dream through a cherry. "Honey, we gotta go."

"Don't you DARE breathe a word about this to anyone!!" Tia said while still hiding under the dollop.

"I promise, not one word of this will escape my lips." I reassured her.

"It better not or it's the couch for a month!!" She threatened me.

As we left for the next dream, I couldn't help but chuckle at Tia's threat. "I'd be more afraid of that threat if it weren't for the fact I wake up with you all beside me."

Luna blushed before giving my cheek a quick peck. "It can't be helped. We miss your warmth too much." I returned the kiss just as we made it to the next dream. When we landed, we were at a wedding party on a cliff overlooking the sea with men dressed in Marine uniforms and women dressed for their best. "Oh. This looks very nice. Dear, is this a wedding you and Bob attended?"

"Sort of. This was Donnie and Sarah's wedding. I was in Africa when it happened, so I didn't get to go. Swagger on the other hand," I pointed over to where Swagger was sitting, and to our surprise, Twilight was with him and was leaning her head against him. "Looks like a very pleasant dream."

"Indeed it does," Luna confirmed as we saw the priest marry Donnie and Sarah. But just as the cheers for the happy couple began, the sound of rotating helicopter blades came. Over the edge of the cliff came a gunship with the miniguns on the side preparing to fire. "Oh shit!"

"Everybody down!" Swagger yelled as he grabbed Twilight and ducked under their table as the gunship started raining down bullets. The lead hailstorm got Donnie and Sarah first as it made it's way to the other party guests.

Not liking where this was going, I blasted the helicopter blades with a frozen ball from my ax. With nothing to keep it up in the air anymore, the copter fell to the ground, blowing up upon impact. I ran over to Swagger and checked on him. "Swagger, you alright?"

Things.... were not alright. behind the table, Swagger was holding a bullet riddled Twilight tight to his person. Blood trickled from her wounds and tears fell freely from Swagger's eyes. "Why? For god's sake why!?"

You did this... Voices began to whisper all around us as Swagger held Twilight.

You killed her...

You failed her...

You can't protect anyone!

Soon, the bodies that the chopper killed started to rise, leaking blood from the bullet holes and many of them were mangled beyond recognition. However, the bodies of Donnie and Sarah were the worst, and they looked pissed at Swagger. "How many times are you going to let me die?" Donnie asked before his jaw fell off.

"Everyone you love will die. And it's all your fault!" Sarah spat as blood spewed from her mouth and onto Swagger.

"Enough!" Luna shouted, making all but Swagger disappear. When it was just the three of us, Luna walked up to him and placed her wing on his back. "Bob. It's all an illusion. You must not blame yourself for Donald. And Sarah is still alive back on earth."

Looking out for my friend, I decided to help and conjured another Twilight to go and comfort him. The moment Swagger saw her, he wrapped his arms around her and started to sob happily into her neck.

Luna came over to my side and kissed my cheek. "Thank you dear." Her eyes widened at something behind me. "The Tantabus!"

"On it!" I opened a portal into the next dream. When we entered the dream, we were in town hall and it looked like it was decorated for a wedding. "Hmm, I wonder who's getting hitched?"

"Your student," Luna answered as she pointed over to the altar where Spike was wearing the top part of a tux and top hat.

"Why does he think that top hat looks good on him?" I asked before the music started and a mare I could only assume as Rarity started walking down the aisle. "Damn, and here we are without a gift."

"Honey, please, focus." Luna reminded me of the threat to the world and we focused on our mission.

We took two empty seats and watched how things play out. Rarity had stepped up to the altar, and Dream me was the one to marry them. As the other me was going over the ceremony, I leaned over to Luna. "You think Spike will ever pop Rarity the question?"

"I believe he will, or maybe she will." I then saw Luna smile and lean her head on my shoulder. "Remember our wedding, dear?"

"How could I forget the best day of my life?" I kissed her cheek just as the Tantabus made its move and touch Rarity. "Oh crap, here we go."

As we made to get to the altar, Spike turned to Rarity. "Before we go any further. I have a surprise for you." Spike took out a large fire ruby and presented it to Rarity.

Everyone smiled, before Rarity took off the veil, revealing an old stallion with a white mane. "So do I!" The guy took the ruby from a shocked Spike. "Later, handsome! It never would've worked, I never loved you!" The dude then makes his escape, leaving us all in a state of shock.

I kept opening and closing my mouth, unsure what to do or say at this situation. "Do we... should I... where did... Dear, a little help."

"I'm just as speechless as you." Luna answered as we just kept staring at the altar. "I think we should go. This is more awkward then dangerous anyway."

"Agreed." And with that, we left out of that dream and into the next. "Is it wrong that I wanted to laugh at that?"

"Really? I thought I was the only one?" We both laughed as we entered the dream. "Oh. It seems we're in Jack's dream." We were in a concert hall, and Jack was sitting front row center as he watched Octavia play a solo.

Jack was mesmerized by her skills as he leaned onto the stage. "You play very nice, darling."

"I like it when you play me~," Octavia responded while giving him a seductive look.

"That's my boy," I said, making Luna brush me with her wing. Before something romantic or lewd could happen, our familiar friend made an appearance. "Showtime."

The Tantabus went right for Octavia's cello and once it made contact, her instrument grew twenty feet tall and the strings broke and entangled both Jack and Octavia in it's grasp before squeezing them like a squid.

"Oi!" I yelled while taking out my ax. "Get your musical strings off my boy!" The F-holes made a gurgling noise before spitting out literal music notes at us.

Luna put up a shield to block the notes while I hacked away at them. "Go for the neck! It should stop the notes!" Taking her advice, I got behind the shield and launched Frostbite at the base of the cello's neck, severing it from the body and ending the barrage of notes and letting Jack and Tavi go. "Son, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm alright, mom." Jack dusted himself off as dream Tavi hugged him.

"Alright, we'll leave you two to it." I winked at my boy before we went to the next dream. "How much you wanna bet that dream turns into a wet one?"

"Not the time!" Luna told me as we landed into the next dream. "And can we please refrain from talking about our children and their sex life?"

"Duly..." I started, only to see we were in Dash's dream, and she was being attacked by a swarm of Changelings. "Noted. Aw, crap. We're late!"

Dash came crashing down next to us with a Changeling drone in her hooves. "What are you talking about?" She asked us before snapping the bug's neck. "This is my favorite dream!"

"That... that is disturbing, Dash. I recommend therapy," Luna suggested as Dash went to fight more bugs.

As Dash beat the crap out of more Changelings, the Tantabus touched down on the ground, the dark and dreary landscape turned into what was basically the background for the Teletubbies. "Huh?" Below her, the flowers came alive and started to sing, though one tried to sound evil at times when really it was just being annoying. "Waaaahhhh!" Dash screamed before curling up into the fetal position.

"I think you're right, Dash may need therapy," I told Luna just as a few more of those flowers sprang up in a circle around us and started singing, one even played a flute. "Alright, that's it. We need an expert for this." I snapped my fingers and Pyro from Team Fortress 2 appeared on the hill next to us and let out a war cry.

As he sprayed death on the posies, Luna and I chased after the starry wisp.

"All that's left is Twilight," Luna said as we made for the next dream. "By the way, did it seem odd that-"

"Dash was dreaming of kicking ass and her worst fear is a valley full of singing flowers. Makes sense to me," I told her as we made our way to Twilight's dream.

"Those flowers were creepy. We should've pissed on them," Venom said in my head before we made it to Twilight's dream, which was just a huge library with the bookshelves reaching above the clouds. "Figures with her."

"I thought you couldn't read while in a dream? One half of your brain and all that noise," I said aloud as we kept walking through the stakes.

"I've been in this dream before." Luna explained as we ducked from a flock of flying books overhead. "She likes to be around the books, and even smell the paper. And ever since Bob came into her life. Well, see for yourself." We turned to see Twilight and Swagger on a candlelit dinner date.

"Oh! Can't wait to see what fucks this one up." Venom cackled in my head.

"Shut it, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!" I retorted as we watched the scene unfold. "I'm not very certain about what Twilight fears. What're we up against?" I asked Luna as we watched Swagger and Twilight feed each other soup.

As Twilight went to take a bite, the soup Swagger was spoon feeding her turned into a Quesadilla slice. The second her tongue touched the cheesy goodness, she freaked out. "AAAAAAHHHH!!!" As her scream echoed across the stacks, the white light that illuminated the area went out and a red glow replaced it.

Soon, books started falling off the shelves as the room started to shake from something large moving around here. "Oh shit. Wonder what we got going here?" As if to answer my question, the tantabus had created a monstrous sized snake to bust out from the stacks and attack us. "Fuck."

The monster snake let out a loud roar hiss before it struck and swallowed Swagger whole.

Seeing this Twilight screamed in horror as she watched the bulge that was Swagger disappear down the serpent's throat.

"Oh hell no!" I blasted my magic at the snake in an attempt to free Swagger.

At first, nothing seemed to happen, and the snake was ready to strike Luna. Suddenly, the snake let out a gurgle before looking down at the bulge in his throat. Just then, the bulge widened and a sword cut through the skin and effectively cut the snake's head from its body.

As the body fell to the side and Swagger struggled to his feet, covered in saliva and blood, I cheered for my friend. "Alright, alright! You're bad, man."

After he collapsed, Twilight went up to him and did a vision test on him. "Honey, how many wings do you see?" She asked while pointing at her wings.

"Six," Was his groggy response.

"Close enough," I joked before spotting the Tantabus leaving the snake's body. "There it is! Grab it!"

Luna and I went to grab it, but the damn thing escaped in a Hayfield Copper book. "Dammit!" Luna cursed before the whole world around us began to swirl in a vortex before we were ejected back into the waking world.

Luna and I plopped on top of each other as everyone around us woke up with a start. "Well if it ain't back to square one."

Swagger and Twilight both ran toward each other and made out with tears in their eyes. Spike woke up and looked at Rarity curiously, making sure she was really her, and not some old stallion. Jackie and Tia ran to each other and comforted themselves with kisses.

"Um, honey." I looked down to see Luna had a massive blush as I lay on top of her. "You're poking me, dear~." Sure enough, my morning wood was pitching a tent in my shorts and poking at her entrance. "Later, dear~."

"Right." I got up off her, both of us with red cheeks as we went to address the others. Though I blew her a kiss before going forward. "Well, good news, the Tantabus hasn't reached out into the world."

"The bad news is that we were unable to capture and destroy it," Luna huffed while shaking her head. "At least we kept it contained and no one dreamed of anyone else."

"Uuuuuh... about that." We all looked over at Pinkie who was fidgeting under her blanket. "After you two left my dream, I kinda dreamed about the whole town coming together to share a giant ice cream cone while taking a test we didn't study for." All at once, we face palmed over what was said.

"Pinkie.... nevermind." I pinched my nose before sitting down on the bed. "Okay. We're gonna need to throw a wider net to catch this damn thing."

"We'll need more than that." Luna went back to the center of the room and focused her magic. "We'll need to create a shared dream. One that encompasses the whole town." As her magic kept charging, she looked to me. "Honey, in order for me to maintain such a dream, I can't lose focus. You'll have to lead the charge."

I went to her and gave her a reassuring kiss. "You can count on me."

She smiled back at me with a tint of red in her cheek before she went back to the center of the room. We all got into bed, with Jackie and Tia joining me in the same bed. Before we knew it, Luna knocked us out with a sleeping spell.

Dream world

I woke up to see that we were all in the middle of Town square, or at least that's what it looked like. But the air around us was like that of an invisible fog, or gas, take your pick.

As we started to gather our bearings, the residents of Ponyville also started to show up, though many were different from what they normally look like. For instance, I don't remember Derpy being a giant and sounding like a cat, or Big Mac having a horn, and I would've definitely remembered Lyra and Bon Bon looking like Cat Dog. "I wonder which of them is dreaming that?"

"They both are." I looked to my right and saw that Luna was in a magic bubble while strings of magic connected from her horn. "They have that dream quite often."

"Mom!" Scoots ran over and hugged Luna. "What's going on?"

Luna hugged our daughter before looking off in the distance. "We're about to face a monster."

As soon as she said that, the starry cloud we've been chasing all night had grown to massive proportions. As we kept looking, the Tantabus went from looking like the night sky, to being as black as oil and every now and then, it would drip onto the ground, where a nightmarish horror would grow, scaring the populace and causing them to panic.

Worse still, with the screams of fear, the Tantabus kept growing and before we knew it, it started to cut open rifts in the sky. "It's trying to escape into reality!" Luna yelled as it opened more rifts. "We must stop it now!"

Over by one of the doors, Leslie Nelson popped out again. "I just want to tell you all, good luck. We're all counting on you." And then he left again.

"We got this!" Jack and I unsheathed our weapons and led the charge against the monster with the girls following us. The Tantabus saw us coming and conjured a giant claw that smashed against the earth, pushing us all back with the force of the tremor. "Well, that failed."

"It could be worse," Jack said as he stood up from a ruined fruit stand. As if to answer my son's challenge, the Tantabus started to take the form of a giant creature with multiple heads from different animals and monsters all over its body, like something from Lovecraft's work. "Shit."

As the monster started a whole new rampage and the monsters that were already created went after the citizens, it seemed we were up shit creek without a paddle. Or even a boat for that matter. "How do we fight this fucking thing!?"

"The same way you always fight a dream." I turned to see what Luna was talking about. "In the real world, you're limited by reality. In here you're only limited by your imagination." She smirked at me as more creatures kept coming.

Realizing what she meant, a smirk made its way to my face before I turned to every single person here. "Everyone! Listen to what I have to say!" The populace stopped in their tracks to hear what I had to say, which sucked for a few of them, since they were caught by one of the monsters. "We all need you to fight these things, or else that thing will make its way into the real world!"

"But how? We're not as strong or as fast as you all," Mr. Cake said while protecting his family.

"In the real world, yes. But here, here you can be anything you want. Hell, you all seen Big Mac before. When was he ever a unicorn?" My speech seemed to give them revived courage.

Spike smirked at this revelation before bringing Rarity in for a kiss. "Watch this, babe." He turned and started to grow into a massive fire drake, one even larger than when he went on a hoarding spree.

Spike let out a roar before charging the beast.

The beast swatted at him, only for Spike to shrug it off. "My armor is iron!" Spike bit down on one of the heads, killing it. "My teeth are swords!" He clawed three heads at once. "My claws are spears!" He flew back, making the Tantabus back away from the wind. "My wings are a hurricane!" He then takes a deep breath. "My breath is an inferno!" He then envelops the giant beast with flames.

As Spike kept fighting the beast, Rarity just fanned herself. "What I'm gonna do to that dragon when we wake up~."

"I think that's the dirtiest thing I've heard you say," I joked before the Tantabus backhanded Spike right into town hall. "Come on! We need more fire power!"

"Fire power huh? I think I have an idea for that." Swagger stepped back and let his imagination run wild. Soon, standing in front of us, was an Apache Helicopter, geared up and ready to raise hell on whoever is unlucky enough to be in its path. And in the pilot seat, was Swagger.

As the blades started to whir to life, Swagger signaled Twilight to get in the seat behind him. After a small squeal, she got in the chopper and they took off.

"Oh, oh! My turn!" Pinkie hopped in place before scrunching her eyes closed and stuck her tongue out. In an instant, we were all met with Pinkiepool. She took out one of her swords and an oversized gun. "Let's get this party started!"

As Pinkie started slashing and blasting the monster, Dash decided to call on the thunder by turning into her comic counterpart as Valkyrie and started throwing bolts of lightning and her hammer at the multiple heads like a game of whack-a-mole. "This is so! Awesome!"

Following the theme for what we were doing, a few of the citizens joined in on the battle. Many of them conjured simple weapons and used them against the Tantabus. Those with more active imaginations decided to turn themselves into giants, heroes, hell I saw one mare turn into a school of flying piranha.

Fluttershy led the charge of some of the dream animals while riding on the head of the demon Angel Bunny. "Go little friends! Go!"

As the entire town attacked, victory seemed assured and the nightmare would be over soon. However, the universe is a bitch, and she just loves proving me wrong. The Tantabus pushed the whole town back into nearby buildings, the fountain, and the river.

One such incident was when Big Mac was sent through Sugar Cube Corner, causing the cupcake room to plummet down, and squash Sweetie Belle. Bloom and Scoots were devastated. "Oh my god! They killed Sweetie!" Bloom screamed into the night.

"You bastards!" Scoots roared at the Tantabus before her swords appeared on her wings and she became a fiery ball of death and went straight for the creature, who already showed signs of regenerating.

"Where have I heard that before?" I asked myself before I felt Venom tug to the front of my mind. "What do you want?"

"To help. Let us show them we can help. Besides. We hunger!" I thought about his offer and whether or not he'd actually help or just run rampant and scare the shit out of these folk.

After watching the Tantabus swallow four ponies with a Grizzly Bear head, I decided why not. "Alright. You can come out. Just do what you have to, no more than that."

"Splendid!" I felt my skin open at the pores as the ooze that I took as Venom started to cover my body. All my senses began to fade and before I knew it, I was a passenger in my own body. "Now, let us show them what we can do!"

I watched As Venom had us rushing right at the monster. He lets out a roar that surpassed the Tantabus, which cleared a path for us to jump and latch onto the largest head, which ironically was a wolf head, and we latched onto it.

I expected him to start slashing and biting, but what surprised me was that several tendrils started sprouting from our back and latched onto the beast. I had no idea what was going on, until I felt energy seeping into us.

The creature felt it as well, if the terror in it's eyes was any indication, or the fact it was shrinking in our grasp. As it kept shrinking, the heads would fall limp and tear off the body, disintegrating once they hit the ground.

All around us, we heard the ponies gasp in either awe or terror. It soon became silent as the Tantabus was no bigger than an apple in our grasp. Venom turned to the dreaming populace and lifted the creature for all to see. "The nightmare is over!" We then dropped it into our mouth and chomped away. "Mmm, blueberries!"

After we ate the surprisingly tasty creature, Venom retreated back inside. I marched over to Luna as the dreamers either parted from my path or just woke up. She dropped the shield and looked up at me with a warm smile. "It's done. The nightmare is over."

The ponies cheered around us as Leslie Nelson popped up from the well. "I just want to tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you." And he ducked back in the well.

Luna halted her magic, causing all the dreamers to head back to their own dream. When it was just the two of us, she brought me in for a hug. "I knew you could do it, my love."

As we kept the embrace, I felt her hooves and wings explore my body a bit, not to mention she breathed in my scent. "I think we should celebrate."

"I know just what to do~." Her horn flared again and we disappeared from the dream realm as well.

Waking world

Luna and I were back in Twilight's living room. I expected to hear a chorus of cheers and conversation, but instead I was met with snores. "I don't believe it. We're the only ones not sleeping on the job." My joke was cut short when Luna forced me over with her magic for a heavy make-out session.

When she pushed me back, I could see the love of the past week in her eyes. "Meet me in our bed in five minutes. I have a surprise for you~" She then sways her hips as she leaves the room.

I gulped the breath I was holding before sprucing myself in one of Twilight's many bathrooms. When it had past five minutes, I teleported outside our room at home. When I opened the door, I was stunned by what I saw. "Odin's beard!"

Luna giggled at my reaction and beckoned me over. After taking off all but my underwear off, I crawled into bed and loomed over her. "Tia told us how much you enjoyed her anthro for, and it had me wonder how you would react to my form~."

"I can tell you right now. Anthro or not, you will always be beautiful to me~." She blushed up at me before we kissed. She started to giggle as I fondled her new jugs. "Though I will admit I like these a lot~."

"Mmm, play with them to your heart's content~. We have a weeks worth of catching up to do~." She unhooks her bra and licks her lips. "Ravage me, my king~!"

Hearing those words in over a week, I grabbed her left breast and started suckling at it like a newborn. "Mmm, new look, same great taste~."

"You are such an idiot." She then started to giggle as I removed her panties. "But I suppose you are my idiot~."

"I think I can live with that~." I lower myself and leave kisses along her stomach and reach her flower. From there, I teased her clit with the tip of my tongue before going deeper into her folds.

"Mmm~." Luna let out a sensual moan, that meant I was doing something right and she was loving it as her thighs gently squeezed my head and her hands held me in place as I lapped at her folds like a dog with a water bowl.

"Damn you taste good, babe~." I kissed her lower lips before removing my underwear.

Luna saw her prize dangling between my legs and dove right for it. "Ooooh~. Let me get a taste of this banana~!" She licks under my shaft and inhales my scent. "I've missed your taste and scent~."

"And I've missed you worshiping my manhood~," I told her while holding her head as she started sucking my cock.

The feeling of her throat wrapping around my cock as it hardened was amazing and each time she hummed, it sent chills up my spine but what really got me were her smoldering eyes gazing at me as she took her time savoring my meat rod until it was nice and stiff.

"Now for the finishing touch~." She purred before opening wide and taking the whole length down her throat in one gulp.

"H-holy!!" I yelped in surprise as her tongue began to taste every inch of me while she fondled my balls.

"Odin's beard~. Your oral skills have always been the best~." I told her while rubbing at her ears, the way she always likes it.

"Mmmnaah~. I think your friend here is good and ready~." She said before getting on her knees and began to slowly raise her royal rump in the air for me to admire. "I understand most men find this position arousing~."

"Most men being me?" I told her while grabbing her hips. Letting out a growl, I poked my tip against her pussy. "Been thinking about this ass for a whole week~!" And that's when I went balls deep inside her.

"Oh, you are getting a spanking." Smack "First, you give me blue balls for a week!" Smack "Had me lust for this ass and not do a thing about it!" I grab her shoulders and bring her up to me. I licked her ear before whispering. "Despite all that. I still love you with all my heart. And I'm gonna show you all night long~."

"Ooh you say the sweetest things~." Luna grinned as we kissed and she began to push against me, urging me to start bucking her brains out as my hands began punishing her ass again. "Mm yes darling, punish your naughty princess." She huffed and relaxed herself on the mattress but there was no way I was gonna let her take the easy way out as I grabbed her by the wrists and began doing her harder with renewed vigor.

"You're going to feel every inch of how much I love you, babe~." I started banging her harder, making the headboard nearly destroy the wall.

I could feel Luna's tail swish against my stomach as I continued to plow her marehood. Luna even glanced over shoulder at me, her expression clear as sunlight. She was enjoying herself and wanting more.

"Say who owns this ass, baby~." I go and smack her ass, leaving a red hand print on her ass. "Say it, baby!"

"You do~! You own my midnight blue ass~!" Luna screamed in euphoria as she moved herself forward and back with each of my thrusts

"Good. Just so we know who owns it~." Wanting to see more of my wife, I had her turn on my cock, earning a very pleasing sensation for the both of us before plopping her on the bed, allowing me the full spectrum of her beauty. "My god, I almost forgot."

"Forgot what?" She asked before I gave her another kiss.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you look when we make love~." She smiled at me before wrapping her legs around my waist and actually controlled my hips.

"I'll make sure you never forget~." She then turns me around so she was on top and started to ride me. "I want your knot deep inside me~!"

"Gladly~." I grab her hips and thrust harder than I have while making my Lycan cock emerge, knotting her to the fullest.

"Aaahhhhh such a wonderful feeling~." Luna moaned as she bounced on my cock causing her succulent breasts to bounce around.

"Babe, I'm really glad you chose this form~." I grab her breasts and thumb her nipples. "I love your regular form, but there's just something about these~." I emphasized while giving her breasts a squeeze.

"Ah...you like playing with my girls hmm~?" Luna hummed in delight.

"Love playing with them. And I know you like me playing with them~." I tweaked her nipples and stroked them a bit.

As soon as I started playing with Luna's chest pillows the mare in question let out erotic moans and her bounces became faster even her pussy walls tightened around my cock and pulsed in an attempt to milk my cock of my baby batter.

"I'm close. Want a cream filling or you want to be glazed?" I asked while rubbing her ass.

"B-both...mark me...inside a-and out~!" Luna shouted.

"I love how you want it both ways. Here comes the first shot~!" I released my jizz inside her before pushing her off on the bed before covering her with the rest of it. "Damn, you look good with my cream on you~."

In the afterglow, my instincts took over and I made Luna get on all fours before humping her again but this time I was intent on not letting up even as she screamed to the heavens and my knot swelled up once more, eager to fill her up with another load.

"I told you before, my dear. We have a weeks worth of love making to catch up on. So get ready for the second of many rounds to come~!" I told her before continuing our love making.

Sunrise

Luna and I laid in our bed, covered in sweat and cum, panting heavily, and in each others arms. "I love you, my queen~.

"And I you, my king" We shared a kiss before finally falling asleep.

For the final touch, Venom sprouted a tendril from my back and covered Luna and I with our blanket.

Celestia's POV

"I can't believe they just left us like that." I complained as Jackie walked home with me.

"I reckon they had some catching up to do. It was a stressful week for them after all." Jackie explained as we made it home, only for the stench of intense love making to hit us. "Yep, they definitely made up for lost time."

"I'll go check on them," I told her while ascending the stairs. After entering our room, I saw our husband asleep with Luna in his arms, both of them dirty and messy as all hell, but happy nonetheless.

Closing the door to let them sleep, I went back down to see Jackie cooking lunch. "They alright?" She asked me.

"They're in each others arms, basking in the afterglow, and we'll need to change the sheets when they wake up," I joked while smelling the air. "What are you cooking, dear?"

"Just some squash, poached apples, and steamed asparagus and broccoli."

"Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!"

(End)

Author's Note

First things first. I am so sorry about the long wait. New job, different hours, had to do a complete rewrite cause I hated the original chapter idea, so I went with this one.

Now, here are the clips for you all so I can get started on the next chapter.

Lockdown

I dragged my sorry ass through the streets of Canterlot, sore as all hell, stiff joints, and my ass hurt. "Joseph!" Course, It's about to get worse. "You were supposed to attend the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel yesterday, and showcase the Valhalla line I created!" Rarity huffed at me as I approached her new shop.

"Sorry," I cracked my neck and had a twinge of pain. "Something came up that needed my attention down south."

Seeing the state I was in, Rarity took pity on me and gestured me inside. "At the very least come inside and regal me with the tale. Sassy Saddles just made tea."

"Who?" I asked while following her inside.

Two days earlier

"How goes the new job, Jack?" I asked my son as we sat down for dinner.

"It's good so far. Keeping the peace in this town comes easy when you can chase down any lawbreakers with ease," Jack said while twirling his pasta. "The only downside is the paperwork. Actually had to bring some home with me."

"Welcome to the workforce, honey," Tia told Jack while eating her pasta.

"Yeah, though there is something strange about some of these reports." Jack brought out a file and started flipping through it. "There's this stallion, charged with robbery and battery. He gets two years in a slammer down south, but that was nearly six years ago. Since then, he's been in several fights and been in the infirmary twenty times a year. And the strangest thing is, the prison never issued for a parole date."

"Let me see that." I took the folder from Jack and gave it a once over. "Any more files like this?"

Jack searched the pile and handed me five more files similar to the first one. One of them was sentenced to three months on a theft charge, but that was four years ago. Another was given three years for fraud and is still incarcerated after twelve years. The worst was a criminal who robbed a bank and had twelve years but was killed in a prison fight. And each of them was sent to the same place. Parish Prison. "Is everything alright, sweetie?" Luna asked me.

"No. No, this isn't right at all." I took the files and set them in my bag. "These cases have either been tampered with or the warden is hiding something, and I'm going to find out what."

"You don't mean to go now, do you?" Tia asked in concern.

"No, first thing in the morning, I'll head down south. But first, I want to finish dinner and then head to bed."

The Next Day

I was on the train to New Horseleans with the documents in hand. I was looking over them as well as a bio on the warden. He's a portly earth pony stallion, who started as a guard and worked his way up to warden. Been the Warden of Parish Prison for thirty years and has an impeccable record. His official name is Prison Bar, but the guard and inmates call him Ol' Red.

"This guy a Blake Shelton song?" I asked myself while taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Soon, the intercom came on. "Approaching New Horseleans station. Doors will open in 10 minutes."

I got up and grabbed my overnight bag. "Hey, look!" I looked around for who said that and saw a small colt pointing up at me. To my surprise, it was Scoots' friend from school, Button Mash. "It's King Joe! You're King Joe!"

"That's me. How you doing, Button?" I asked the little earth pony colt.

"I'm doing good. About to blow your old high score out of the water," He boasted.

"Ha! Impossible. Only I hold the title of Galaga champion," I joked with him. "So, what brings you out here?" I asked as we pulled into the station.

"I came to see my dad," He told me while getting his stuff. "I haven't seen him in years and mom won't take me to see him."

"His mom is juicy! And I mean that in both senses of the word," I heard Venom say. And I had to agree, Cream Heart looks like a tasty Milf.

"So why didn't your mom take you to see your father?" I asked.

"Well. It's because he's in prison." And just like that, it all started to make sense.

I knelt down and placed my hand on his shoulder. "You might want to come with me. We're... we're heading to the same place." I led him off the train and we started for the prison.

After walking through the city, Button and I made it to the prison. As the guard was going through our stuff, I saw that Button had a picture of him as a foal, his mother, and his father. To my disappointment, his father is one of the convicts in the files. Poor kid.

"Your ma know you're here, Button?" The guard asked, clearly concerned for his safety as he finished inspecting his things.

"No, and I'd like to keep it that way." Button replied as he retrieved the picture and tucked it safely back in his wallet.

"Your funeral kid," The guard said with a snarky attitude.

"Hey!" I got the guard's attention. "He's with me. No need to scare the kid." I led Button over to the visitor's room. "Button. I gotta tell you something." We sat down and waited for his father to arrive. "I think your father may be part of a corrupt system, and I'm gonna try and see if I can get him out."

Button looked at me in disbelief before smiling. "You think you can get him out of prison?"

"I'm gonna try my best," I told him as a guard came in to escort the prisoners.

"Then, then that means he can come home. We can be a family again!" He cheered as his father, 8 Byte came in.

His file said he's a pegasus who used to repair arcade games. Then he got caught taking parts to make his own machines and games. He was given two years for damaging property and making an illegal start-up business.

His picture had him as a regular-looking guy with a cutie mark that looked like the spaceship from Space Invaders. But prison must've changed him a bit. His features had hardened, and he had a scar along his muzzle. But the minute he saw his son, it all disappeared and he ran to hug his son. "Button! It's so good to see you!"

"Dad!" Button was beyond happy to see his father even as he looked at his grizzled face.

Byte hugged him tight with the happiest smile he's had in a long time no doubt. "You know your mom said you can't come here."

"I don't care, dad. I wanted to see you." Button protested as he kept his grip on his father.

Byte took a few moments to look at how much his son had grown when he noticed a feint bruise around his eye. "What's this? Have you been getting into fights?" Button looked down in shame, already admitting his guilt as his father gave him a scolding look. "Son, what have I told you about starting those?"

"I didn't start it okay?! Those jerks were calling you a crook and that mom was a whore!" Button snapped.

Byte went and hugged his son as he started to cry in his chest. "Your mother isn't a whore. She's the best mare that ever came into my life, and you need to listen to what she says." After he hugged Button, he finally noticed my presence. "Um, son. Why is the king here?"

"I met him on the train. He said he was coming here for an investigation," Button revealed.

I looked back to see if the guard was listening. When she wasn't, I had a bubble of silence around us. "Byte, may I call you Byte?" He nodded. "Okay, Byte. It's come to my attention that the Warden is running a shady operation here. Holding prisoners longer than they should. I'm here to find out why and for what purpose."

Byte looked a bit nervous as he looked over at the guards. Even though we were under a bubble of silence, he still felt the need to whisper. "It's not right what he's doing. He has the guards riling us up to pick fights with them, to which we get beaten. He has prisoners on payroll to fight the new fish and anypony he wants to recruit."

"Recruit? Recruit for what?" I kept an eye on the guards in case they were getting suspicious.

"There's a cabin out near the swamps. They take two of us that he's declared worthy and pit us against each other." Button gasped at what his father said. "He has his country club friends watch and bet over who'll win. Sometimes... sometimes the loser doesn't get back up."

I couldn't believe this. It's bad enough these guys were being held longer than the courts deemed necessary. But forced to fight for the entertainment of self-entitled dicks. Almost reminded me of the arena in the Griffon Empire. After giving it some thought, I had a plan. "Have you been to this cabin before?"

"I have, That's how I got this scar." Byte points to his muzzle.

"Would you be able to lead us to the cabin?"

"No. The carriage he had us in was covered, so we wouldn't know the way." Fuck.

"What about the carriage? Would you be able to recognize it?" Please know what it looks like.

"Without a doubt, Your Highness." Byte gave me a smirk. A smirk I knew all too well.

I nodded before canceling the bubble and we headed for the main gate, something the guard took immediate notice of. "Excuse me! Your Highness! Sire, you can't just-"

"Tell the warden to meet me at the front. We have much to discuss." I told the guard before I continued to escort Button and Byte toward the main hall.

We waited a few minutes at the security checkpoint for the Warden to show up. Meanwhile, Button and Byte were catching up for lost time. "You know. I met your mother at an arcade. I saw someone beating my high score at Highway Crossing Frog and went to confront them. Little did I know, the pony in question was a mare. After she beat my score, I asked her to play Royal Rumble with me. We must have gone through at least 30 bits and I got beat every time." He started to chuckle. "It was love at first sight."

"Wow. Mom beat your ass at video games?" Byte laughed at that and hugged his son.

Just at the height of the moment, a pudgy Eaarth Pony with a Southern Warden hat on came bursting in. "What in the Tartarus is going on around here!" He and a hound dog made their way over to Byte. "Someone wanna tell me why this prisoner is here and not in the yard?!"

"I'm the reason why." I walked up to the Warden with Byte by my side. "I'm taking this prisoner with me, and he's being given a royal pardon."

"A pardon!?" He yelled before he remembered who he was talking to. "Ahem, uh, what I meant to say was, this stallion still has a ways to go before he pays his debt to society, uh, Your Highness."

"I'm aware he has a few years to go, what with all the fights he's started with the guards and other prisoners. But here's the thing. I'm the King, and I say he's out of here." I patted his cheek and turned to leave. "If you have a problem, write a complaint and I'll toss it in the trash." And just like that, we were out of there.

I sat at an outside table at a cafe beside the prison. Why they thought it was a good idea to have a cafe so close to a prison is beyond me. But at the moment, it gave Byte and me the chance to wait for the carriage to arrive, and I'm thankful for it.

We sent Button back home as we staked the prison. "When can we expect the carriage to arrive?" I asked while sipping my coffee.

"Should be here soon. The fights happen as soon as the sun goes down," Byte told me as we kept a watchful eye out.

As the sun set near the Ozarks and the mist set in, we saw an armored carriage pulled up by two sketchy-looking Earth Ponies. They went around back and Byte got up from his chair. "That's the carriage. Come on!"

"Hold on, you didn't finish your muffin," I pointed out.

"Silence you fool! It can be ours!" I heard Venom say before he grabbed the muffin in a tendril and had me eat it.

After wiping off the crumbs, Byte and I followed the carriage as it left the prison. We followed it through town, ducking behind a few corners now and then. Once we were out of the city, we had to stay back a ways, so we wouldn't be spotted in case one of the stallions pulling the carriage, decided to look back.

"Um, your Highness?" Byte caught my attention as we hid behind a log. "Why don't we just take them now?"

"That thought had occurred to me. and we'd get evidence against the prison and Warden for sure. But you said he had some rich buddies that could slip away and just start another fight club somewhere else."

Byte nodded in understanding before we went after it again. We had to dodge a few gators and avoid a couple of quicksand beds, we came upon a large wooden cabin. "Here it is."

"Okay. We'll wait for nightfall and the others to arrive, then hit it." We sat against a large tree and waited for Tia to set the sun.

"This place is creepy as fuck. It's like some kind of witches hovel." Byte groaned.

"Probably how they kept kids from going in when there weren't any fights going on," I told him before biting into my jerky.

Soon, night fell and lights and noises started to come on in the shed. "It's starting." Byte and I got up from the ground and went over to the window. The inside was a lot cleaner than the outside, with bleachers to the back, a ring in the middle, and one of the meanest-looking hound dogs I've ever seen chained in the corner.

"Okay, I'll go in and-"

"We." I stopped to look at Byte. "We'll go in and take them down."

"It'll be dangerous. You may not come out in one piece." I tried to explain, though he seemed to be staring daggers at Red.

"That bastard took years out of my life in this hellhole, and they laughed at me! I want to feel his teeth break as I beat the living shit out of him!" Byte continued as the fight was about to start.

"Wow. Glad you weren't charged with murder. Okay, you can come with, but leave most of the fighting to me." He agreed as we waited for the fight to begin.

Soon, Red went to the center of the ring and brought two convicts with him.

A Pegasus pony marched up to one corner of the ring. His wings had multiple scars and feathers missing but looked strong enough to whip up a tornado with a single flap. He had no mane, and the hair on his tail was cut down to the nub. The stallion cracked his neck, and even his wings somehow, as he glared at everyone around him.

“That’s Scortch Breeze,” Byte muttered to Joe. “He’s in for arson by starting fires in the middle of wooded areas and whipping up fire tornados.”

Next came an earth pony stallion arguably bigger and burly as Big Mac. When he hopped in the ring, he smiled revealing both his upper and lower front teeth were replaced with metal teeth.

“Ooh…and that’s Buckshot,” Byte said. “He used to be a professional wrestler until he lost the championship way back when. Heard he was so pissed for losing that he tackled the guy who beat him and bit his windpipe out from his neck, killing the poor bastard. Buckshot tore out both sets of front teeth in the process, and is serving a life sentence.”

"Oh! They look tasty! Can we eat them?" I heard Venom say in my head.

"Let's finish the mission first, then snacks," I thought before nodding to Byte. "I'll barge in through the front, you come in through the side."

"Okay, but leave Red to me. I wanna kick his ass and turn his teeth into a necklace," Byte told me in a cold tone while still glaring at the Warden.

Speaking of, the Warden went into the middle of the ring and put a chain on each of their necks and had it connected with a chain. "Is that normal?"

"In here, happens way too often," Byte said as the cheering started as the fight began.

Scorch took to the air, dragging Buckshot along for a small ride. Buck grabbed the chain with his teeth and pulled hard, dragging him down to the ground so they could duke it out with their hooves. "Alright, time to strike." Byte went off to the side entrance while I went up to the front door. With a raised leg, I kicked the door in so hard, it flew off and knocked out a pony that reminded me of Boss Hog. "Knock knock."

"It's a raid!" A skinny stallion said before they all tried to run for the exit. Before they could even get out of their seats, I snapped my fingers and a wall of fire surrounded them.

"Hey now, exit's over here, fellas," I told them before opening a portal to the Canterlot Dungeons. "No rush. Not like the place is on fire or anything."

"Hold it!" The warden called out as he came marching up with Button in his hooves. "Let's not do anything hasty now."

"Button!" Byte yelled as his anger spiked.

"Sorry Dad..." Button apologized. How the hell did he get here without me noticing?

"You son of a bitch! Let my boy go or I'll tear you a new asshole!" Byte roared as he charged at the warden, only to freeze when he brought his son closer to the fire.

"Don't think I won't do it, boy!" Red backed away towards a window with Button in his grasp. "Here's what's gonna happen! This colt and I are getting the hell out of this matchbox. And if you or that dog tries to follow me, I'll feed this little snack to the gators."

"Dad! Help!" Button squirmed and begged for help.

"Shut it, boy! Or I'll snap that neck of yours!" Red barked.

"You wouldn't dare!" I roared while wolfing out.

"Try it you filthy mutt!" Red barked back. "You think you freaks can just come here and destroy what I built from the ground up!?" He then chuckled darkly. "I make ten grand a week with these fights. I got more money than three mayors put together! You may have put my best customers away, but I'll just rebuild!"

"Not if he's got anything to say about it," I said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah! And who's gonna stop me!?" Red soon heard a growl to his right. When he looked, he saw his faithful hound dog snarling and baring its fangs at him.

"Cujo?" Red asked as his grip on Button loosened. "Why you growling at me like that?"

"He's tired of your shit," I told him before breaking the dog's chain. "Keeping him locked up here and neglecting to feed him has really pissed him off." I gestured for Cujo to attack, and he went right for the bastard's fat gut.

As the warden screamed in pain, Button was able to slip away and reunite with his father. "Aaaagh! Get him off me! Bad dog! Bad dog!"

Whistles

Cujo ceased his attack so I could grab Red by his neck. "Warden Red, you have been found guilty of corruption and murder of inmates under your care. I should have you locked up in the prison where you screwed everyone over." I then licked my lips. "But my friend is very hungry."

"F-f-friend? What friend?" Red asked fearfully as Venom came forth. "Fucking Celestia!"

We let out a growl as the blood kept wafting into our nose. "Eyes, lungs, pancreas! So many snacks, so little time!" Without missing a beat, We outstretched our mouth and swallowed the Warden whole, feasting on his bones and surprisingly savory meat. "Mmm, delicious."

Present

"So after my snack, I brought Byte and Button home. Cream was mad as hell with the both of them, but after I explained everything to her, she forgave her husband, and Button was given a two-week grounding, instead of the rest of his life," I explained to Rarity and Sassy, whom I might add were captivated by the whole thing, as well as horrified, no thanks to Venom.

Sassy put her tea down and leaned forward a bit. "And what of the spectators at that horrible fighting ring?"

"Let's just say they're going to be in dire straights once their finances plummet," I smirked as I sipped my tea and Venom helped himself to a chocolate eclair.

"Not to mention, we ate the ones who had no problem trying to carry on this lousy excuse for entertainment." He said with chocolate dripping between his teeth.

Rarity and Sassy felt uneasy about Venom's statement. So much so that Sassy excused herself. "I believe we require some more tea cakes." She got up from her seat and retreated to the back.

"Ahem. A little too much information, darling," Rarity said while setting her tea aside.

"Right, sorry. Speaking of sorry, do you still want me to show off your Valhalla line?" I asked, hoping to make up for my absence.

"The thought is appreciated, but luckily, your son was able to showcase for me. Octavia found the show very pleasing. She bought the first suit for him." I can only imagine why.

I got up and set my cup on the table. "Well. I'm glad that's settled."

"Indeed. Though I wish you'd remember your prior engagements before going off on an adventure." Rarity reminded me before taking the tea to the small kitchen.

"I'll be sure to remember that." I gave Rarity a one-armed hug before heading out the door. As I walked down the street, Venom got my attention. "Well. What should we do before heading home?"

"The way I see it. We can do whatever we want." Venom answered before we spotted Joe's Donut shop. "Donuts!"

Author's Note

Worked hard on this, and got the idea from the famous 80s TV show, The A-Team.

Hopefully, the next chapter will be as good as the next.

The Game is on.

Jack's POV

I was working a little late at the office today, going over a few drunk and disorderly charges when my phone rang. I expected Dad or Mom to call but to my surprise and delight, Tavi was the one to call. Putting my work aside, I answered. "Hello, Tavi. What's on your mind?"

"Hello, darling. Are you free this weekend?" She asked.

"I should be? Did you have something in mind?" Despite her prim and proper attitude, she was a total flirt and generous lover in bed.

"Vinyl and I have a contract to play for the Royal Garden Opening ceremony. Me and my orchestra for the pre and post-parties, and Vinyl for the Wonderbolts airshow."

"Oh yeah. Dad said he's hosting that with Ma Luna. And I'm guessing you want me to escort you there?" I teased her.

I heard Tavi giggle before kissing the receiver. "I'll see you at the station tomorrow then." She hung up at that point.

"Looks like I got weekend plans."

The next morning

Tavi and I headed for the train station while I left a few final instructions to my deputy. "Okay, Bronco. I have most of the paperwork done, so unless another disaster hits, it should be a quiet weekend."

"Sure thing, Jack. Uh, what should I do about Berry? She landed herself in the drunk tank again."

"Let her stew in there until I get back." I waved him goodbye as Tavi and I boarded the train into our private car. "I don't understand. Berry's always been a heavy drinker, but she's always kept it together."

"Perhaps she's going through some kind of phase or personal issue," Tavi told me as we took our seats and she sprawled herself across my lap with a smile. "Or maybe she wants to get your attention." She teased as I started scratching her neck and ears. "Mmm, that feels nice, dear."

"You're like a fluffy kitten in my hands~," I told her before nibbling at her neck. "You know, we do have this whole car to ourselves, and we have about three hours before we reach Canterlot."

"Mmm, I think I know what you're getting at~." Tavi came up and we started making out.

As we had our lips locked, my hands were busy undoing my pants and rubbing at Tavi's winking clit. "Someone seems excited~."

"Mmm~, I could say the same about you~," Tavi started rubbing at my hardening cock. "Love how I can get you hard~."

"And I love how wet I get you~." I kissed along her neck, down to her stomach, and finally to her erect teats.

Tavi had enough foreplay and pinned me down to the seat with her plot hovering over my face. "Be a good boy and service me while I have myself a snack~." She undid my pants and immediately started sucking on my cock.

While her mouth slathered up and down my cock, I started licking and sucking on her winking clit. "I love the taste of high-class pussy." I gave it another suck, hearing a note. "Seems your pussy is musical~."

She could only squeal in delight as we continued to service each other and from the way she was going, she must've missed me a lot so I decided to do something nice for her and got a good grip on her waist before suddenly sitting up and making her swallow my rod whole as she went bug-eyed for a few seconds.

"MMM!"

"Bet you never did this before~," I said before diving into her cunt as her legs flailed about trying to push against something. To add more to her experience, I began thrusting upward into her throat in a slow rhythm as she slowly gave in and allowed her legs to go limp while wrapping her forelegs around my waist.

We did this for almost half an hour before I flipped Tavi around and had her face me. "Jack...ha...ha. Take me like a whore~."

"As my wonderful marefriend wishes~." We kissed again before I let her drop down onto my throbbing cock.

She threw her head back, letting her black mane flow in the air. She let out a very loud moan as I grabbed her by the hips and began slamming her nonstop.

"Mmm fuck I missed you~!" I declared as we gave each other a lustful gaze.

"So did I and don't worry dear, it's a safe day~." She reassured me while adjusting herself.

"Mmm, that's too bad~." I started nipping at her neck. "I'd love to see you with a pregnant belly and leaking teats~."

"Maybe in the future. But for now, fuck my brains out~." Tavi redoubled her efforts and we moaned like howler monkeys.

Tavi gasped before biting my neck, telling me she had come again. "You know what time it is?" I bit her ear a little before whispering. "It's time for the knot~." True enough, my cock grew a knot and pushed its way past my girlfriend's pussy lips.

"Aaaaahhh~!" Tavi clenched her teeth as she tried adjusting herself. "No matter how many times I take it, I'll never get used to that monster~."

"Good, 'cause I just love the face you make when I knot you~." She chuckled a bit before we went into overdrive. "Here it comes!"

I gave one last thrust before giving Tavi all I had stored in my balls. "Aaaaahhhh~!" Tavi nearly screamed her lungs out before slumping onto my chest. After a minute to collect herself, she kissed my cheek. "Thank you, dear. I love you so, so much~."

"I love you too, Tavi." I kissed her cheek while pulling my knot out. We had a few more hours before we made it to Canterlot, so we just took a little nap while holding each other.

Canterlot Castle. That night

Tavi joined her fellow bandmates, leaving me to mingle amongst the guests and nobility. Many of them tried to brown-nose me with propositions I knew nothing or cared about, while the rest ignored me.

While I made a plate by the buffet table, I spotted two ponies I was very happy to see. "Aunt Dash, Aunt Rarity!" On the opposite end of the table, the ponies I considered my aunts were making small talk with a pegasus with an aviator's scarf around his neck. When they heard me, they ran over to greet me. "It's good to see you!"

"Hey, Jackie-boy!" Dash greeted me while doing her best to noogie my scalp. "How's it going, sheriff?"

"Oh, the usual. Breaking up the odd brawl, taking Berry to the Drunk tank, and telling couples to stop fucking in the street and get a room." The last one made Dash and me laugh while Rarity rolled her eyes at me.

"Hillarious." She commented but came over and hugged me regardless. "Your father didn't mention you'd be attending the Ceremony. Did something come up last minute?"

"Sort of. Octavia and Vinyl are playing for the Ceremony, and Tavi invited me along." I then notice Rarity's dress. "That's a nice dress. Did... did you... ah... ah... make it! Achoo! Ugh, excuse me. Achoo! Achoo! Ugh, must be something in the air."

"Sorry, son. That's probably my cologne." The pegasus with the scarf told me. "Wind Rider." He offered me his hoof. "Retired Wonderbolt."

"J-Jack... Jack Huffstutler. Achoo! Achoo! Ponyville Sheriff. Achoo! The hell are you wearing?" I asked between my sneezing fits.

"Juniper Phoenix. I take it you're allergic?" Rider asked me.

"It would seem so. Achoo! Achoo! I hate to sneeze and run, but- Achoo!" I wolfed out a bit on that last one. "That's exactly what I'm doing. Rarity, Dash. I'll see you later." I waved them goodbye as I turned tail and got as far away from that cologne as possible.

Once my sneezing stopped, I took a few deep breaths before feeling a tap on my leg. "What up, Jack."

I turned to the voice and saw it was Vinyl Scratch. "Oh, hey, Vinyl. What's up?"

"Not much. Just writing some beats for the Wonderbolt show, and then I saw you sneeze your brains out." She chuckled at my expense. "What was that about anyway?"

"Eh, just a small allergy. That old Wonderbolt over there is wearing a cologne that's messing with my sinuses big time." I pointed over to Wind Rider, who was getting fangirled by Dash.

"Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, it's passed. Wouldn't want to get snot all over Tavi's pussy while eating her." The remark caused me to spit out my drink while Vinyl laughed her ass off. "Well, my work here is done." She started to walk away but stopped as if she remembered something. "Oh yeah, your dad was looking for ya. Might wanna see what he wants."

I nodded her way before going off to find Dad. It didn't take long before I found him with Ma Luna, standing at the bottom of the throne. "Hey, Dad. Mom. You said you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah." Dad surprised me by bringing me into a hug. "All you ever seem to do is work and spend more nights at the office or with Octavia than you do at home. We missed you!"

Once Dad was done squeezing me, Ma Luna came over with a more sensible hug. "Despite your father's eagerness, it's nice to see you, son."

"Good to see you too, Ma. I wasn't thinking about coming, but Octavia wanted me to join her for a fun weekend. And how can I say no to a lovely mare like her?"

"It's simple, you don't," Ma told me with a smirk before she turned to Dad. "Right, dear?"

"Of course, my queen, whatever you say, my queen," He joked before getting a slap from Ma's wing.

"Alright, well I'm gonna look for something to clear my sinuses." I rubbed my nose again as I felt another sneeze coming on.

"Yeah, I saw that earlier. You alright?" Dad asked while looking me over.

"Yeah. just allergic to some guy's cologne, nothing serious." I told them before heading off to my room. "I'll catch you guys later."

After finding my way back to the room, I saw the lights were off, candles were lit and rose petals were on the floor, leading toward the bed. On top of the bed was the shapely figure of my mare friend, waiting for me in the shadows.

Without wasting any more time, I flicked my clothes off, pounced on the bed, and loomed over my lover. "Get ready for" I stopped in my tracks as my vision adjusted, and I saw who was in the bed with me.

"What's the matter, Jackie-boy?" Vinyl asked me as she stared up at me with those beautiful red eyes. I then felt her hind leg rub against my confused yet hardening junk. "Figuring out what to do?"

Trying to find the words for this awkward situation, the lights came on, and I saw Octavia sitting in one of the chairs, watching us with a coy smile and a hoof circling her wet pussy. "Surprised?"

I had a slacked jaw as I looked over at Tavi. "Yeah!" I then pointed down to Vinyl, who was still eyeing me like a piece of meat. "I thought she was you! I thought I was about to cheat! I-Mmm!" I was silenced when Vinyl reached up and kissed me on the lips.

After a few seconds, Vinyl parted and kept smiling warmly at me. "Tavi and I talked about this." I felt her hoof pull my pants down at this point. "Very thoroughly~."

"While our dates and nights together have been some of the best I've ever had," Tavi said while she kept rubbing at her pussy. "I felt we were neglecting our friend and roommate." She got up from the chair and joined us on the bed. "So, if you think you can handle it, why not add her to our relationship~?"

If I were a weaker man, I'd have second or third thoughts about such a thing. But given how sexy my girlfriend looked as the dominant babe and the fact my crotch was now free and dangling over Vinyl's pussy, I'd have to be a madman to refuse.

Smirking at Tavi, I brought her into a kiss as my cock hardened and poked at Vinyl's needy pussy. "Any safety words I should be aware of~?"

Vinyl chuckled while stroking my cock. "Why? Looking for a way out~?" She asked before I plunged into her. "Oh, fuck~!"

"No safe word? Mmm, I'm starting to like this arrangement more and more," I said before going full force on Vinyl. "Damn you feel good~!"

"As good as me, dear~?" Tavi smirked while giving pecks to Vinyl's neck.

"Now, now. We mustn't compare~." I gave her neck a nice little love bite while continuing my work with Vinyl.

“Want to know her weakness~?” Tavi cooed. “She loves it when her ears are kissed~.”

"Don't tell him right away! I wanted him to guess," Vinyl pouted.

I smiled down at Vinyl and kissed the tip of her nose. "I'd figure it out eventually." I trailed up to her ear and gave it a soft kiss, making her choke on a moan. "Such sweet sounds you make~."

Vinyl gasped and moaned loudly as her tongue hung out of her mouth.

“Jack~! Oh, Jack~!” Vinyl called out my name.

"That's right~. Say my name~! Say my name like Tavi does~!" I told her while going faster and harder.

“Jack~! Claim me~!” Vinyl shouted. “Make me yours~! Mark me~! Breed your mare~!”

"Mmm~. You two been sharing stories, have you~?" I asked Tavi, recalling a similar line I heard her say last week in the creek.

"It got you fired up, didn't it~?" Tavi teased before leaning back and playing with herself again. "Now show me how you fuck a unicorn bitch~."

"I got a better idea." I got on my back and had Vinyl jump on my cock. I then sat up and brought Tavi over for a three-way kiss. Pulling back, I admired the sight of my girlfriend and new lover and girlfriend. "Damn, this is hot as hell~."

"It gets even hotter~." Vinyl cooed before shoving her whole hoof in Tavi's pussy.

"Aaaahhh~! You dirty bitch~!" Tavi brought Vinyl into an aggressive make-out session while I went harder on the DJ's pussy.

"Alright, time to shower you with my seed, love~," I told Vinyl as I pulled out and sprayed my seed against her white coat. "Damn. Almost can't see it."

"Mmm, I'll have fun finding it~." Tavi bent over and started licking Vinyl's body, looking for every drop of my cum with her tongue. "Ahhh, salty~." As she kept enjoying her feast, I got behind her as my cock hardened again. "Ready for more, babe~?"

"Honey, none of us are getting any sleep tonight~," I promised her before plunging into her velvet underground.

The next morning

As the sun poked through the curtains, I felt a stirring on one side of the bed. When I looked over, I saw my girlfriend with the biggest smile I'd ever seen. Then I felt another stirring. Looking over, I saw Vinyl was cuddled right up next to me. "Guess last night wasn't a dream."

"Oh, it was a dream." Tavi reached up and kissed my cheek. "A dream come true~."

"Hehe, that was a little corny." I returned her kiss just as Vinyl woke up. "But I suppose you have a point."

"I always do." She kissed me again before heading for the bathroom.

"Guess I'll get us breakfast." I kissed Vinyl's sleeping form and was rewarded with a smile. Putting on some fresh clothes I headed out the door, but before I could make it passed the doorway, Aunts Dash and Rarity were waiting for me, and Dash had a shit-eating grin we all knew too well. "What's with the look?"

"Did you have a nice night?" Aunt Rarity asked.

"Course he did. He got laid with two hot babes." My face went crimson when she said that. "Don't look so embarrassed." We all heard a door open and Soarin came out with a goofy grin and what appeared to be a limp. Dash smiled and waved her wing at him. "You weren't the only one to get lucky last night."

I rolled my eyes before giving them both a hug and headed for the ballroom for breakfast.

After reaching the ballroom, I saw Ma Luna and Dad eating with the Wonderbolts. "Morning all."

"Morning, son. Sleep well?" Dad asked, to which Ma Luna chortled.

"I did, and just to bring it out of the open, yes. I spent the night with my girlfriend. Although I guess I should say, girlfriends." Dad choked on his toast while Ma did a spit-take with her juice.

After wiping away the crumbs, Dad spoke up. "Making a herd already, son?"

"It was Tavi's idea. But who am I to turn down a good idea?' I chuckled.

"Anyone we know, sweetheart?" Ma asked while dabbing her muzzle.

"Vinyl Scratch. Seems she wanted to share in our happiness." I was about to continue, but I felt I was about to have another sneezing fit. Seeing Wind Rider over by the waffles, I understood why. "Ugh, does that guy bathe in Juniper Phoenix?" Shaking my head, I levitated a couple of plates over with a little bit of everything. "I'll catch you later."

After breakfast, and establishing a few sets of rules with Tavi and Vinyl now that we weren't drunk on lust, I headed for the main foyer where the Wonderbolts were stretching for tonight's performance. And it just so happens that I ran into their top reserve pick. "Hey, Jackie boy!" Dash greeted me with a hug.

"Hey, Aunt Dash. Excited for the show?" I asked.

"You have no idea. You'll never guess what just happened," Dash said with her over-enthusiastic nature.

"I give up."

"Captain Spitfire got a letter from her mom. She's sick and needs her to take care of her," She told me before pointing to the rest of the team. "Now I get to be part of the team for the performance!"

"That's great! I can't wait to see you fly with your heroes." I hugged her before going over to talk with the other Wonderbolts.

After having an interesting conversation about pie with Soarin, an older mare came over with a worried look. "Excuse me. Has anyone seen Spitfire?"

"Uh, no. She was called away to take care of her mother," I told the mare, only to get a better look at her. "Now that I think about it, you look a lot like Captain Spitfire."

"I should hope so, I am her mother, Stormy Flare." Huh? "And what's this about me being sick?"

Soarin came over with just as much confusion as I do. "Stormy? Captain Spitfire got a letter from you, saying you were sick."

“Sick?” Stormy repeated, tilting her head. “I haven’t even had a sniffle during allergy season, dear. Why would she lie about me? Her own mother? It certainly doesn’t sound like something my daughter would do.”

"She didn't lie. She honestly thinks you're sick." I told her and gestured to Soarin. "She got a letter, saying you were sick."

"It's true." Soarin brought out the letter and showed it to her.

After looking it over, she gave it back. "I didn't send this. And it's not even my hoof writing."

“Really?” Soarin asked.

“Hon, I think I’d know my hoofwriting,” Stormy said.

“Hmm…then someone forged this,” I concluded.

"But who?" Dash asked as Wind Rider came over.

"Perhaps someone who wanted a spot on tomorrow's routine. Someone who said they'd do anything to get on it." We then see him glare down at Dash as the other Wonderbolts start to get what he's getting at. "Someone like you, Miss Rainbow Dash."

"What!? I would never!" Dash turned to Soarin. "Babe, you know I wouldn't do something like that." Soarin didn't answer and just looked unsure. "Soarin. You... you believe me, don't you?"

"I want to believe you, but, Wind Rider makes a very good point." Yikes. I can tell he'll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

"This is crazy! I wanna be on the team, but I would never do anything like that!" Dash argued when it seemed the others were about to turn on her.

Now seemed like a good time to step in and help. I let out a whistle and got their attention. "Instead of pointing fingers... hooves at each other, how about we try and find out who was responsible for sending the letter?"

The Wonderbolts went into a huddle to determine what to do next. From what I could hear, it wasn't looking very good for Aunt Dash. Soarin came over after they decided and told Dash their verdict. "Dash. If you can prove that you weren't the one to send Spits that letter, then you can still fly with us. But if you're guilty... then the bylaws say you're out of the Wonderbolts." He then brings her into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Dash kissed his cheek before she looked at the other teammates. "But how am I supposed to prove I didn't send a letter?"

"With me." I was about to offer my help, but Rarity came in with a costume change. "Detective Rarity. And with me on the case, we'll find the culprit faster than my costume change."

"Yeah... what's with the getup anyway? You look like that video game character my dad showed me once. Just Can't place the name right now." I went over to Dash. "Anyway, we'll" I pointed to Rarity and myself. "help you with this problem. Achoo! Sorry, damn cologne."

"Blow your nose, dear." Rarity handed me a tissue before leading us out of the room. "Now then, we'll need to head toward the scene of the crime, Spitfire's room."

After a short journey down the hall, the three of us made it to Spitfire's room. "Okay, so what are we looking for?" Dash asked while zooming about the room.

"The letter and any evidence that might lead to anyone else but you," I told her before looking in the usual places where one would put a letter.

After a short search, Rarity found the letter. "Got it." As we came to look at the envelope, Rarity also found a speck of hair inside it. "And what do we have here?"

I went over to see what she had found, and it was a cut of rainbow-colored hair. "Looks just like your hair, Aunt Dash."

"What!? How did that get there!?" Dash shouted in outrage before the hair caused me to sneeze.

"Bless you, darling." Rarity bagged the hair and handed me a tissue.

After wiping my nose, we headed out of the room and started walking. "So... what now?" Dash asked while flying alongside us.

"We look for any clues that lead to who might want to frame you." I went over to one of the curtains that was out of sorts. "That's interesting."

"What, the curtains? How's that a clue?" Dash asked as Rarity admired them.

"As Holmes would say, 'The smallest detail can crack the hardest case'." I held the curtain out for her to see. "Out of all the other curtains, this one was undone. And fur.. fur... furthermore-Achoo!"

Rarity handed me another tissue. "When looking for a suspect in a frame job, it helps to know where one would hide behind."

Dash sighed before landing. "Okay, I see your point. But what now?"

After wiping my nose, I pointed down the hall. "We question the only ones who were up during that time. The guard." Down the hall, two members of the royal guard were chatting.

One was a unicorn mare with an olive-green mane and tail and orange fur, and the other was a Pegasus stallion with a sky-blue mane and tail with grey fur.

"Guards, a word, please." I walked over and got their attention.

"Yes, Your Highness." Both of them saluted as we stepped over to the side of the hall.

"What can we do for you, Prince Jack?" The mare asked us.

"Sometime last night, someone left a letter for Spitfire, saying that her mother is sick. Has anyone entered the hall?"

The two guards looked at each other before looking back at Me.

“Not that we’re aware of,” the mare said.

“We don’t work the night shift,” the stallion said. “The rookies were here last night.”

“Hey, but they did mention somepony leaving her room right as they changed shifts,” the mare said.

"I see. And did they happen to mention what he or she looked like?" Rarity inquired.

"They didn't. But they did mention the cake the pegasus gave them," The mare said.

“Cake? What cake?” I asked.

"I don't remember all the details. But I know it came from a Tea and Cake shop owned by Cinnamon Chai. Sweet Celestia, I love that mare's cakes," The stallion began to drool.

I raised a brow before finding a napkin with frosting on it. "Looks like we have our next stop." I opened a portal to Restaurant Row and we started for the Tea and Cake shop.

Once we made it to the shop, a mare, most likely the owner, was outside serving two stallions. They look very familiar, yet I can't place the names.

While I pondered on them, Rarity spoke with the owner. "Excuse me, do you have a moment?"

"Of course, would you like some tea?" The Mare asked us.

“No, thank you,” I said. “I’m here running an investigation.”

“Oh my, I didn’t know I was in the presence of a detective,” the mare said. “What can I do for you, detective?”

"Sheriff. Sheriff Huffstutler of Ponyville, Ma'am." I brought out the napkin with the evidence on it. "Last night, a cake with," I sniffed the napkin. "cream cheese frosting and chocolate cherry custard was purchased and I believe it was sold here."

"Oh yes, that's my famous cake with rose frosting." She pointed to her window where there was an empty spot.

"Oh dear, so it was purchased. By who?" Rarity asked as I started getting the sniffles again.

"I can't say for sure. She had on a trench coat, sunglasses, and a scarf around her neck." Chai then thought of something. "Although, she did have a bit of a deep raspy voice."

"What do you mean raspy?" We all turned to Dash, as her voice was pretty raspy. "Oh."

"Can you think of anything else that might stand out?" I asked while fighting back a sneeze.

"Hmm, well she was pretty upset because when she left, some of the frosting got on her scarf."

"On her scarf." I wrote it down. "What color was the scarf?"

"White. Or maybe it was Ivory," Chai thought.

"Thank you for your cooperation," I thanked before closing the book. "Alright, I think we got what we need. Right, Detective?" I joked with Rarity.

"I believe we do. To the Throne room!" Rarity pointed to the sky before walking casually back to the castle.

"Too bad this isn't a TV series. We'd be in the next scene by now," I joked while Dash and I followed her.

We all met in the Throne room where Rarity and I were about to make our big reveal. "Thank you all for coming. Rarity and I have been combing through the crime scene, and we believe we know what happened."

Rarity came over with the evidence bag. "Our first clue was the clump of hair we found in Spitfire's room." She brought out the rainbow hair clump. "At first, it looks like Rainbow was there."

"Except, hair doesn't fall out in clumps cut in a straight line." I took the hair and showed it to everyone. "Someone cut her hair to frame her."

"The second piece of evidence was the envelope we found in Spitfire's room. Upon its discovery, I noticed it had a peculiar scent. Juniper Phoenix to be precise." Rarity added as we began to circle the suspects like sharks waiting to strike. "And finally, we had noticed one of the curtains had been released from their rope holders meaning that somepony used them to hide after they had dropped off the fake letter."

"See! I told you I was being framed!" Dash exclaimed.

While everyone started whispering about why someone would frame Dash, Soarin came up to her side. "But if she didn't do it, then who did?"

"Wind Ryder." My bluntness caused the whole room to gasp. "Everywhere we found a clue, the scent of Juniper Phoenix was everywhere. I know, because I sneeze every time I'm around that crap." I went over and plucked his scarf off his neck. "Not to mention, someone bought a cake for the guards on patrol the other night, and got frosting on their scarf." I showed them all the stains on the scarf. "Just like this."

Wind took his scarf back and looked pissed about it. "What's gotten in your head, boy? I didn't do anything of the sort!"

"Oh, but you did, and I have a theory why." Rarity walked over and pointed right at Dash. "You felt threatened by her when it was mentioned she could easily beat your record. You panicked and had to find a way to make sure you'd never lose your record."

"So you framed Dash to get her kicked out of the spot in the show, and the Wonderbolts." I began to snarl at a sudden realization. "Makes us wonder how many times you sabotaged others to keep that record."

We all started to gang up on Wind Ryder and it looked like he was about to bolt. "So what if I did!? I'm the best Wonderbolt there is! No one can take that away from me!"

"I beg to differ." Out from the shadows, Mama Luna and Da walked in, and they both looked extremely pissed. Mom was the first to approach. "Wind Ryder. You have shamed both the Wonderbolts and yourself." Her horn ignited and she pulled his Wonderbolt badge from his jacket. "You're stripped from the Wonderbolts, and all records of you and your career will be erased from history."

"What!? You can't do this to me!" Ryder roared in her face until Dad grabbed him by his face.

"We can, we did, and it gets worse." Dad let him go and unfurled his wings as a golden glow surrounded him. "As the god of war and descendant of the All-Father, I hereby banish Wind Ryder from ever entering Valhalla!"

Suddenly, after hearing the verdict, Wind Ryder looked to Windy Whistles with a bloodthirsty glare and unfurled his wings before going after her.

“YOU BUCKING BITCH! YOU AND YOUR CUNT OF A DAUGHTER RUINED ME!” He roared as he flew at her.

Before I could react, Dash plowed into Wind Ryder and started beating the crap out of him. "I looked up to you! Idolized you! And it turns out you're a creep! A fraud! A sham!" She kept yelling at Wind Ryder with each punch and kick.

Before she beat Wind to paste, Soarin and I pulled her off while a few guards took him away. "I think he's had enough. Besides, you'll need to save your energy to get Spitfire back in time for the show."

Dash let out a snort before breaking free and flying out the window. Soarin whistled as she left. "Gotta love that mare."

After solving a huge case, watching an airshow, and a train ride home, it's good just to sit back on the couch and relax. "Hey, stud~." Of course, the company's good as well. Vinyl got on the couch with me and nuzzled my pants off and started sucking my cock.

"That's it? Just a hello and blowjob?" I asked while enjoying the treatment.

"At least I'm here for some decent conversation," Tavi said while walking into the room. "Rough day?"

"I'll manage." I kissed her while scratching behind Vinyl's ear. "After today, I'm thinking of applying to be a detective. Oh, right there, babe~."

"Mmm, I'm sure you'll be the perfect detective." Tavi praised me before tapping Vinyl's horn. "Let up, it's my turn~." They switched and now Tavi sucked my dick.

"Life is good~!" I leaned back and let my marefriends take turns sucking me off as the last rays of sunlight shone through the window.

END

Author's Note

Another chapter is done. Gonna work on the next one soon.

Drag Show

I was doing this morning's dishes with Tia putting the clean ones up. "You sure you're not too strained?"

Tia chuckled while separating the bowls and plates into their cabinet. "Dear, I'm on the couch and using my magic. I think I'll do just fine." She smirked and blew me a kiss while continuing to help.

As we wrapped up the dishes, the front door burst open and Scoots came flying in with a flier in her hooves. "Mom! Dad! Look!" She plopped onto the couch with Tia and gave the paper to her.

Tia nuzzled Scoots before looking at the flier. "Oh! Honey, they're doing the Sisterhooves social tomorrow."

"Really? Sounds awesome." Then something caught my attention. "Wait, who's gonna compete with you, sweetie?"

Scoots smiled nervously when I mentioned that. "I have a plan for that."

That afternoon

"No way in hell!" Both Orion and Jack said as Scoots laid out her plans for tomorrow.

"Why not?" Scoots pleaded while we, their parents, watched. "If one of you can disguise yourself as a girl, then we can enter the contest."

"Yeah, but then one of us would have tits," Jack complained while cupping the air around his chest.

"And lose our favorite tool!" Orion grabbed his junk.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to lose that," Sunset laughed while hugging Orion's side. "But come on, it's only for a day, and it's for your sister." She then leans in to whisper in his ear, making his face blush red. "Just think about it, sweetheart."

He didn't need to think about it long, cause he stood up and pointed right at Scoots. "Let's do it."

"Oh, I am so filming this," Jack smirked while tapping his phone.

Suddenly, Jackie's Cutiemark vibrated and glowed. "Dammit! Right at dinner time!?" She huffed before getting up. "I'll go see what's happening. Hopefully, it's not a big deal."

"Alright, Sugar." The herd and I kissed her goodbye as she left the house. When the door closed, we all turned to Orion. "So, how shall we do this?"

"We may have an idea for that," Luna suggested while Tia smirked at Orion.

"I regret this decision already," Orion said while Sunset kissed his cheek.

Tomorrow morning

Luna, Celestia, Jack, Scoots, and I were waiting in the hall as Sunset helped Orion with some of her clothes as he changed in the bathroom. "Son, how you doing in there?"

We heard a feminine sigh before the door opened and instead of my firstborn son walking out, a young lady that resembled Luna in human form walked out.

One look was all it took before we all started laughing at Orion. "I'm-I'm sorry son, but you look.... I'll let your girlfriend say it."

"She looks sexy." Sunset came up behind her and gave him -this is getting confusing- a kiss. "I knew my blue dress would make a comeback."

"Yeah, just on my brother," Scoots snickered before hugging Orion's leg. "Thank you, I owe you big time."

"Hey, what are sisters for?" Orion joked before hugging her back.

"This is going to be a disaster." Jack then got out his phone. "And I'm going to capture every second of it." He snickered while we all rolled our eyes.

An hour later

We were all gathered around the open field on the property where they started setting up the stuff for the Social.

“The sooner this is over, the sooner I can make love to my girlfriend properly again…” Orion groaned as he looked at his chest as if it was unnatural.

"I don't know. I kinda want to have my first lesbian experience," Sunset teased while wrapping a bandanna around his/her neck.

"Sunset, please. Not in front of the children," Celestia told her former student while putting a matching bandanna around Scoots' neck.

"Sorry, Princess." Sunset kissed Orion's cheek. "Tonight... you~."

Orion cleared her throat and went over to Scoots. "So, uh... ready to kick some ass?"

"You know it!" Scoots cheered. Down the road, we saw Bloom and Sweetie walk up with hang-dog expressions. "Hey guys, what's wrong?"

"Our sisters are gone!" Bloom snapped. "Sorry, it's just we were looking forward to competing, and now they were called away to Manehattan for something."

"Damn. That is a problem," I pondered before something truly shocking caught my eye. "Uh..... Bloom. Do you have a relative that looks like Mac... but in drag?" My question raised a few brows before we all turned to see a strange sight.

We all stared in absolute silence as Mac came strutting over. Jack was the first to break the silence. "So should I start calling you Aunt Mac, or do you go by something else, now?"

“Why, I do not know what you mean!” He said in a very flamboyant accent that made all of us cringe.

"I think his mind's finally slipping," I said aloud before Bloom went up to her brother.

"Big Mac! What are you doing?"

"From the looks of things, the same thing Orion is doing for Scootaloo. Only... with a wig," Celestia pointed out.

"No kidding. He looks like a pony Dolly Parton." My comparison seemed spot on as everyone laughed.

“And mind telling us what name you’ve concocted for your new persona?” Jack asked.

"Why, I'm surprised you don't recall me from our last reunion. I'm Orchard Blossom." Mac played it off with his Southern Belle act.

"This is too weird." I then saw that Sweetie was still down in the dumps, which gave me an idea. "Hey, Jack."

A little later

"Thank you so much for doing this, Jack! I owe you big time!" Sweetie gushed while Jack gave her a piggyback ride. "So what should I call you?"

Jack groaned before placing her down. "Not sure if it's because of the spell or a gut feeling, but call me Jane."

Orion laughed before Sunset hugged her around the hips. "And what should I call my new girlfriend?"

Orion let out a sigh before answering. "Mmm, call me... Rihana I guess."

"Well, I do hope you four are ready for some friendly competition," Mac said in his Orchard persona.

"Look, you're already in drag, can you please cut the Southern Belle routine?" I asked, already feeling a headache coming on from this whole thing.

“I got an idea,” Orion said with a grin. “Let’s make a wager. Loser stays like this for a month.”

"In the frilliest dress that Aunt Rarity can make," Jack smirked back before they shook on it.

"Well then, I hope two of you have enough dresses, 'cause Bloom and I are taking the gold," Mac told the bo-girls.

"Look, don't forget why you're doing this. It's so these three can compete and have fun," I told them.

"Yeah, it was. But now it's to see which of them will be a girl for a Month," Scoots said, making the other Crusaders nod and laugh.

"This day just became more interesting," Tia smirked while taking a picture of the little group.

As the kids went to sign up, I took Tia and Luna over to the bleachers. "You know, one of these days, I think you two should participate."

"Oh, and what would we get if we won?" Tia asked while resting her head on my lap.

"I can think of a few things," I teased while scratching behind her ear.

Luna rolled her eyes with a smirk before pointing over to the judges' table. "It seems Orion and Jack were able to make the cut."

"What about Mac and Bloom?" Tia asked.

"Two of them seem skeptical, and the other one looks interested in Mac's Orchard Blossom persona." We had to keep our laughter to a minimum.

"What are you all laughing at?" All three of us froze when we heard Bright's voice. We turned and saw Bright and Pear walk over and sit with us.

"Bright, Pear! What brings you by?" This day just keeps getting better.

"We came to see Scoots compete," Pear said while taking a seat. "We would do the same for Applejack and Bloom, but as you know, Applejack was called away."

Bright nodded before doing a double-take at who he saw at the judges' table. "Am I going crazy, or is that my son, in a dress?"

"It can be both. But yes, your son is wearing a dress to help Applebloom," I told them to the best of my knowledge.

"And... is that what Scoots and Sweetie have those two girls with them?" Pear then looked closer. "Wait. Is that Orion and Jack?"

"Indeed it is." Tia took another pic. "This is both heart-warming and hilarious."

Bright and Pear just faced forward as they watched the first event unfold. "Honey. Remind me to talk some sense into that boy."

"Oh hush," Pear jabbed Bright's side. "He's doing this for Applebloom."

"But did he have to wear a dress?" Bright pointed out.

"Duh, otherwise he'd look stupid with just the wig," I pointed out, just as the first event started.

After watching a few acts by some actual sisters, it was time for our wacky kids to take the stage, starting with O-Rihanna and Scoots.

"Alright, ready Sis?" Rihanna asked as she got the instruments ready.

"Ready!" Scoots said with determination as she took the mic.

We all listened as the music started, and to my surprise, it was by my favorite band.

We all listened and cheered them on as the two of them rocked the joint. I couldn't be more proud of them.

When they were done, they gave a bow to the cheering crowd and waved as they got off the stage.

"That was great, Sis! We rocked that place hard! We should go on tour!" Scoots exclaimed while hugging Orion.

"Maybe. But I'm not doing it as a chick." The two laughed as Jack and Sweetie went up next.

"Okay, I'll provide the music, you knock 'em dead with your singing," Jack instructed.

"You really think my singing's good?" Sweetie asked with a slight blush. With a nod of encouragement from Jack, Sweetie went up to the mic.

When the song ended, there was total silence from the whole crowd, until there was an uproar of applause. Jack gave a bow while Sweetie cried tears of joy and waved to the crowd.

Sweetie ran up to Jack, jumped onto her stomach, and wept tears of Joy. "Thank you, Jane. You're the best!"

"Anything for my little sis." They both smiled and got off the stage for Bloom and... Orchard Blossom.

As we watched the routine, we had to admit that it was pretty sweet. On the other hand. "The red one's attempt at wearing a dress is funny."

"Shut it, you! He's doing his best to get Bloom a ribbon. Even if it is in a Dolly Parton-style dress," I thought just as the song ended. "Well, that was interesting. Can't wait to see how the rest of the social goes."

"I imagine it'll be quite the spectacle," Tia said while smiling at the whole show.

Two hours later

"Wow. Mac kinda sucks at this." Venom observed after we saw Mac step over the jump rope instead of jumping. "Are his legs broken? Or is he too massive to lift off from the ground?"

"Possibly too massive. I carried him in the air once, and he was a hassle," I told him as the kids lined up at the starting line.

"Okay, here it is," Luna said while eating popcorn.

"The final stretch to see who gets a ribbon." Celestia held up a little flag with her magic and waved it a little to show her support. "I'm not sure who to root for."

"I'm just gonna sit back and watch the show. Nothing like free comedy from the kids." I chuckled as Granny was about to start the race.

"Alright, youngins! Get them hooves ready! Get set! Go!" As soon as Granny gave the go-ahead, Orion and Jack burst forward with Scoots and Sweetie in their arms. I didn't read the rules, but I'm sure that's not allowed.

"Get out of our way, Rihanna!" Jack roared as they started to shove each other.

"You back off!!" Orion shot back with an even harder shove as both of their fangs began to show.

"Uh oh." Sweetie Belle said to herself as both began pushing against each other.

"I think we should bail!" Scoots shouted before she and Sweetie wormed their way out of Jack and Orion's arms. Good thing too, cause them boys went full Lycan and started slashing and biting at each other.

In their frenzy, the boys began to literally tear each other to shreds as pieces of their outfits went flying everywhere and all the fillies could do was cover their eyes and prepare for the onslaught of embarrassment that was to follow.

Mud and grime went flying as my two sons wrestled each other like it was a mud battle of the ages. I watched ponies desperately try to avoid large chunks of mud hitting the square in the face. To be honest, I had a bit of a hard time trying to suppress my laughter.

When blood and fingers started flying, it was time to intervene. "Hey!!!" I burst from the stands and raced down toward them. I got to them before they could swipe at a filly who got ahead of her older sister and separated them by the back of their necks. "That's enough!"

“HE STARTED IT!” They both yelled back at me before I bashed their heads together as hard as I could.

"Well, I just finished it. And speaking of, you both are done with this!" I put them in a headlock and opened a portal back home. I threw them both in, apologized to everyone, and then went in after them.

That night

I had the boys sitting on the couch as they licked their wounds. Jackie came home a little after the fiasco and was very unhappy to hear about what happened. "What in tarnation were you two thinking!? Clawing and biting at each other like rabid dogs! You know what we do to rabid dogs!?"

“But ma-!” Jack tried to say but Jackie got in his face.

“You sassin’ me, boy?!” Jackie snarled.

Jack and Orion both backed away with whimpers after hearing their Ma's tone.

"We're very disappointed with you two," I started before pointing up toward the stairs. "You two humiliated your sister, aunt, and friend with that stunt, and you're going to make it up to them."

“And you can forget about going to that Metallica Concert!” Luna added.

"WHAT!?" Both my sons yelled, nearly shaking the walls.

"We're so fucking serious!" Tia levitated their tickets over and ripped them up in front of them.

"You're fucking high!" Orion shouted.

"Are you out of your minds!?" Jack added as the tickets fluttered to the ground.

The boys got up and headed for the door. "This house is a prison!" Orion yelled.

"On planet Bullshit!" Jack roared as he left.

"In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!" Orion slammed the door, and we were left with that image.

Author's Note

Sorry this was short, and I'll admit, disappointing. However, that's only because I have something amazing planned for the next chapter. I'd tell ya, but where's the fun in that?

Angel on my Shoulder

"This. Is. Humiliating." I watched as Orion and Jack walked into the living room, still in their female forms, and wearing frilly dresses. Part of their way of making it up to their sister. "How much longer do we have to be like this?" Orion asked as he pulled at his skirt.

"Yeah, these panties are riding up and I'm not sure if I hate it or like it. Hoping I'm not liking it." Jack squirmed in place.

"You can turn back when it stops being funny." I looked up and started to snicker. "Yeah, not anytime soon."

My boys let out an annoyed scoff before storming out the door. Jackie came in soon after and sat next to me. "One more week, then turn the girls back to boys."

"As my southern belle wishes." We shared a kiss before watching the movie. "Anything planned this week?"

"Just the usual. The regular chores, making the meals that drive you wild." Jackie nuzzled my side on that comment. "I'm hoping Tia will give us our newest family member sometime soon."

"Me too. If nothing else, so that I can stop making jalapeno cheesecake." We both laughed at that memory. "Anyway, I think I'm going to head back to the Edge. I want to see what else is there. Get that table working. Heck, I may even drop in on Ash."

"Well, if you do see him, send him our love." Jackie got up and headed for the kitchen.

"Will do." I got up and headed out. As I strolled through the orchard, my furry companion came up to me. "Hey, Herc. You doing alright?" He gave me a couple of barks before nudging my leg with his big head. "Bored huh? Hmm. Why don't you come with me? Get a chance to pee on some new trees." He gave me an excited bark before running circles around me. "I'll take that as a yes."

We raced to the end of the property before I opened up the portal to The Edge. No matter how many times I enter this uncharted world, I'll never get used to seeing the majesty of it.

"Ruff!" Herc liked it as he burst from my side and started rolling around in a field of wildflowers. He seemed to like it as he made happy growls and pants.

"You like the flowers, huh?" I smirked before reaching into my bag and pulled something out. "Look what I got." I waved his favorite ball. Herc bolted off the ground and ran around me. "Alright. Fetch!" I tossed the ball across the field and he ran after it. I ran after him, not knowing if we'd face any dangers.

We did this for about an hour before getting a drink from a stream. With our thirst quenched, I saw we were near the place I started calling the Citadel. "Come on, boy. Let's visit with Faust."

"Ruff!" Herc approved and ran ahead.

After one last game of fetch, we entered the Citadel. Already being here a number of times, the illusion kinda dimmed for me. Herc on the other hand leapt and bound all over the place. He was starting to act like a puppy again.

"Alright, alright, don't get too worked up. You might destroy this place even more than it already is." I patted his head to calm him down before getting to work. The lights were already on, so there was no trouble seeing what needed to be done. The problem was that there was just too much to do, even for a god.

After finally fixing the 20-something-odd pipes and covering them up, I took a break next to the table. "Tired already?" I looked up to see that Faust manifested and smiled down at me. "Surely, this much work hasn't made you sweat."

"I'm not sweating. And don't call me Sherrly." We laughed at the joke before I hugged her. "How have you been?"

"Can't complain. I've been going back and forth between here and Twilight's castle. I remember appearing while Twilight and Bob were on her throne. And Bob was acting as her cushion." She smirked at the last part. I swear, Celestia gets her perversion from her.

"Alright, alright! I don't need to hear anymore," I begged as she kept laughing.

“You seem a bit more lax than usual,” Faust said. “What’s wrong? Wishing there was more excitement?”

"... A little. I mean I love being a husband and father, but damn it! I need some action! I'd go to Valhalla, but you can only beat Wallace and Maximus so many times." I slumped down against the table and gave Herc a pat on the head.

“What’s wrong with, as you say, taking a load off?” Faust asked. “Equestria is in a state of peace that no pony has ever seen before and it’s all thanks to you. I can understand the warrior in you desires the thrill of the fight but sometimes it’s not always something to be sought for. A wise king never seeks war, after all.”

"They just prepare for it." I smiled at her advice and gave her neck a one-armed hug. Suddenly, the map table goes haywire and Faust's image fades in and out. "Hey, what's going on!?" We heard Herc whimper next to the table and a small yellow puddle formed by the table. "Herc!"

Herc whined as he jumped out of the way before I could grab hold of him. Suddenly, the table sparked up and what could only be described as a strange portal tore open in thin air.

"Oh shit!" The portal acted like a vortex and started sucking in everything in the room. I sank my claws into the ground to stop myself from going in, however, Hercules wasn't so lucky.

Herc let out a yelp before the portal took him. "Ruff! Ruff!"

"Herc!" I tried to grab him with my magic, but the suction was too strong and into the portal he went. "Nooo!"

After watching my dog get sucked in, I had no choice but to go in myself. "I'm coming for you, boy!" I let go of the floor and went into the portal after that pissing pooch.

I flew through the portal with determination while brandishing my axe. I don’t know why I brandished my axe, maybe for dramatic effect. I was soon out on the other side of the portal and found myself in the middle of a vast snowy landscape. Every inch of the area was covered in snow and frost, and it looked like I was on some mountainside.

"Fucking hell, that dog pissed us to Jotunheim." I looked around to see if any tracks could lead me to Herc. Since he was already in for a few seconds, then he was here for at least... wait, that's not how it works. "How does fucking time work here again?"

"Like this." That was the last thing I heard before my vision blacked out and my head started throbbing.

The next thing I knew as my eyes slowly opened up I was on my knees. I looked down at my arms to see they were bound together by some weird-looking glowing chains that somehow made me feel weak. Through my pounding head and blurred vision, I noticed that we were in some kind of cave.

“I see you’re awake.”

I looked up to see a man sitting on a rock. He wore a long grey hooded coat with silver pauldrons, a white undershirt with a black tie hanging loosely around his neck, black pants with silver knee guards, and black silver-toed boots. The white hood was over his head, I could somewhat make out his face since it wasn’t really covered by the hood but could tell it was definitely not a pony judging by the goatee. He was also armed with what looked like a straight sword that seemed to shine brighter than the sunlight, its golden cross guard looked like a pair of feathered wings, and the handle was pure white. However the most interesting part of this man was not its appearance, not its weapon, but the pair of large white feathered wings, the end of the feather tips shining a bright golden color, on its back that looked about the width of 8ft.

“So, mate,” he said with an Irish accent. “Mind tellin’ me what a fallen angel’s doin’ round here?”

"Fucking hell, not this shit again." I strained against my restraints before finally breaking them. "Not a Fallen Angel! Not an Angel!" I grabbed the fucker with Venom and brought him close as I wolfed out. "I am Lycan! Do you get that you Potatoe Eating Drunk!?"

“Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph!” The man yelped. Before I could slug his face, he turned into pure light and reappeared in front of me with his sword drawn and his white wings unfurled. “Lycan?! Them’s a fairytale!” He snapped. “Who the bloody hell are you to claim that?!”

“The guy who’s gonna kick your insulting ass!” I barked, cracking my fingers.

“Oi! Oi!” He yelped as I lunged at him. He dodged out of the way as I slammed my fist into the stone wall.

"Get back here. Mik!" I summoned my ax and it came flying through the stone and into my hand. "What the hell did you do with my dog!?"

“Dog?! What fockn’ dog?!” He yelled as I chased him out of the cave. He aimed his hand at me and fired beams of light. I easily swatted them away with my axe before throwing it right at his head. He barely managed to duck out of the way before spinning around and attempting to slash my arm.

"My dog! The one that went through the portal before me! Where is he!? And tell me quick before I chop you up and turn you into Haggis!" I yelled at him while blocking his glow-in-the-dark sword with my shield.

“You’re tryin to lahp me ‘ead ahff over a foehckin pooch?!" The man yelled as we traded blows, his accent becoming more thick. "What kend o’ badshit madness is dat abooeht?! I dahn’t even know yooehr foehckin dahg!”

"Fine. Then this is for knocking me out and chaining me up!" I slapped the fucker with my shield before kicking him in the balls.

The man grunted in pain before he actually returned the favor by blasting a hole through my side and kneed my groin. We both fell hard on the ground and dust kicked up around us while we held our family jewels. My wound healed quickly and it looked like his injuries were healing as well. Couldn’t say the same for my package though.

“Bloody fuckn’ hell…” the man groaned as we lay by each other. “It seems…we’ve come to…a stalemate.”

"It seems so." I looked in my pants to see my parts grow back. "Shuttle's in the hangar." I sat up against a rock as he did the same. "Got a name, or should I call you Notre Dame?" I smirked.

“Easy, fido,” the man sneered as he propped himself up on his elbow. “McHaggard, Phillip. Angel’s Saint. That last part made my eyebrows perk up. “Yes, Saint Michael himself gave me this job.”

"Joe Huffstutler. God of War, Odinson." I got up and recalled my ax. "Do me a favor and not spout God's grace in every sentence, it gives me a rash."

“Not me style,” Phill said as he got up, and we stood in front of each other. He pulled his hood off allowing me to get a good look at his face. Guy sported a pretty stylish goatee and his brown hair reached his shoulders.

“Let’s start over, shall we?” Phill offered. “My apologies for the clonk on the noggin. I’ve been told black wings are a tad of a giveaway for those who’ve fallen from grace. And considerin’ ya came at me like a mad dog, no offense, it’s clear ya ain’t one neither.”

"Again, you struck first. You're lucky this isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a fallen Angel." I sheathed my ax and returned to my human form. "Now, can you tell me where I am? I thought I entered Jotunheim, and I'd like to find my dog."

“You’re in Equestria,” Phill answered, making my eyebrows perk up again. “Specifically Yakyakistan.”

"Just north of the Crystal Empire, correct?" His reaction matched mine. "I live in my own Equestria. I stick to Sweet Apple Acres most days. And you? How long have you lived here?"

“That right?” Phill spoke, crossing his arms. “So…there’s more.” He shook his head and turned his head back to me. “Been here for about a year now. Was brought here to help fight the war.”

“War?” I said, sounding serious.

“Unfortunately yes,” Phill sighed. “We fight against the Seven Sins demons, who were brought here by one Dainn Stonehoof.”

"Him again?" I asked, seeming to think this fucker is everywhere.

"You heard of him?" Phil asked.

"Burned him alive with a tire around his waist after killing his sons and before giving Blueblood the Blood Eagle." I boasted.

“Jaysus, man,” Phill gulped. “Well, then you got off easy finishing your problem before it could begin. Us? The bastards put the whole fockn’ planet under his hoof in less than a year. Well, most of it, nowadays. Two of the seven were just offed. Now we focus on the third who’s holed up here with the yaks.” Phill then frowned and looked away. “But like every victory, there’s also loss. My friend blames himself still for not being there on time to save him.”

“Who?” I asked hesitantly.

“Rutherford,” Phill answered, shocking me.

"I've met him before. Bit thickheaded, but has a good heart. How... how did he die?" Starting to dislike this world with every word.

“Sloth,” Phill said bitterly. “Among the Sins so far, he’s the most diabolical. Beheaded the prince in front of his own people. Now…it’s as if the yaks have lost all hope.”

"After seeing their leader beheaded in front of them, I can see why. Wait, Sloth? I thought he was supposed to be some sort of lazy fuck?" I asked.

“And yet, he was able to do something so cruel and fucking sickening in front of his whole kingdom,” Phill said.

"I see. Well. While I look for my dog, how about I help you?"

"What? Why?" Phil asked me.

"Been meaning to get a little action. What better way than by fighting caribou and traitors?"

"Not to mention that we're starving!" Venom said as he came out of my shoulder.

“FUCKN’ HELL!” Phill yelled before involuntarily blasting venom with a beam of holy light.

Venom shook off the blow. "Do that again, and we will eat your body and use your head for bowling!"

“The bloody fock is that?!” Phill demanded.

I shoved Venom back down. "He's complicated, to say the least."

Phill gave me a look before nodding. “I’ll…choose to ignore that. For now, I’ll take ya up on your offer.” Phill then pointed towards a smaller mountain range. “Off to the southwest, me crew reported a fairly large weapons plant. If you could believe it, these arseholes are makin’ weapons from my neck of the woods. That being guns and weaponized vehicles.”

“How would they be able to do that?” I wondered.

“The Sins,” Phill answered. “They were summoned from Hell and brought humanity’s ingenuity with them. How do you think the world fell so quickly?”

"Magic and dispatching units as friendly forces for one." I reached into my bag and brought out my AA12. "As the saying goes. Fight fire with fire."

Phil and I were scouting the mountain range where the weapons factory was. "Okay, so tell me what weapons and vehicles they were able to create?"

“Rifles, armored vehicles, and I hear explosives goin’ off too,” Phill answered. “Not to mention they’re on the verge of aircraft.”

"Guess it's time to halt production then." We crested the top of the mountain and saw a huge factory. "Looks like we found it."

I already didn’t like what I saw. Several large buildings with thick chimney stacks billowing black smoke sat in a cluster of the area. My nose twitched from the foul stench in the air, and I could see what was happening within the plant. Both ponies and yaks were all chained up and were working to the bone. Meanwhile, caribou, brainwashed ponies, traitor ponies, and even brainwashed and traitor yaks stood on guard.

“YAK WORK FASTER!” One traitor yak barked as he whipped another yak. “YAK NO EAT! YAK MAKE WEAPONS FOR LORD SLOTH!”

"This is fucked up. I mean what the shit?" I looked around and saw that the factory was surrounded by high mountains. "Phil. I have a plan. Think you can keep up?"

“What do ya have in mind?” Phill asked.

A couple of hours later

I placed the last of the C-4 explosives on top of the eastern mountain range. I took out my radio and called Phil. "Phil. The last explosive is in place. How are things on your end?"

“Aye,” Phill responded. “And can I just say, you’re as mad as a march hare?”

"I see myself more as the Hatter than the Hare. Anyway, meet me at the east side of the mountain." I clicked the radio off and set the timer.

I looked back down at the factory below while I waited for Phill. As I waited, the wind blew against me made me catch a whiff of a familiar scent. I narrowed my eyes and sniffed the air more. The more I sniffed, the more familiar the scent got. It wasn’t until the wind blew again did I recognize the scent. It was young, too young for comfort, along with the stench of sweat and semen paired with it.

“Oye!” Phill finally made it to my position and noticed my fangs protruding out of my mouth as my rage began to build. “Joe? What’s on you, man?”

"I hear them... the young ones..." I crushed the stone in front of me as I fully wolfed out. "I hear their screams!"

BOOM!!

The explosions happened simultaneously and the results were just as planned. Snow began to fall from the mountains creating a massive avalanche from all sides. I jumped forward while spreading my wings and rode the snow with Phill.

As we drew closer to the facility, I saw a couple of caribou hiding behind a large rock. They may escape the snow and rocks, but they won't escape my claws.

I grabbed them both by their throats and stabbed one of them with the other's antlers before tearing the other's throat clean off.

“Jaysus!” Phill yelled. “Ya certainly don’t hold back, do ya?!”

"They made this world ugly! I'm just returning the favor!" I roared over the booming noise of the avalanche.

BANG!

The avalanche worked a little too well. Soldiers started spilling out of the woodwork and they all aimed their weapons at us. "We've got trouble!" Phil roared before drawing his sword.

"Trouble?" I brought out my shotgun and cocked it. "I call it sport." I hopped onto the nearest chunk of ice and rode it down like a snowboard. I started firing into the crowd of Caribou and Yaks, painting the snow red. "Come and get it, you motherfuckers!"

The enemy fired at us, most of them missing, but a few hit home, making me stumble and fall into the avalanche. I felt like I was in a raging river filled with rocks. I had no way of knowing which way was up, all while trying to hold onto my gun and consciousness. After I stopped, I heard the fuckers climbing over the snow and rocks firing at Phil.

When I felt three soldiers above me, I burst through the snow and scared the crap out of them. I grabbed the shotgun in the yak's hands and shot him in the gut. The two caribou with him tried to turn me into Swiss cheese, that is until I bit the one on the right in the neck and opened the other's ribs with my bare hands. "Damn, this is fun!"

Soon, I heard what sounded like a buzz saw coming from one of the buildings. Before I could look to see what was happening, Phil tackled me to the ground just as bullets started raining down where we stood. "Fucking hell, what the hell do they have up there!"

I peeked over the rubble to find out, just before they fired again and I ducked again. "Bastard's got an MG 42. Hitler's Buzzsaw!"

“Bloody fuckn’ shite! Got any ideas?!” Phill shouted as he fired some beams of light, only to duck right back down behind our cover that was being quickly chipped away.

"Yeah. Get behind me!" I unfurled my shield and rushed out, blocking the bullets and making everything sound popcorn popping. "Shoot the fucker when they reload!"

“Aye!” Phill said as I grit my teeth behind the onslaught of bullets.

We both pushed forward as the bullets rained down on us. A few of them strayed and hit my legs, causing me to stumble a bit. After ten seconds, the barrage stopped. "Give them hell!"

Phil jumped out from behind me and started blasting the window where the shots came from. Soon, the window was replaced with a giant hole in the side of the building.

"That was some good shooting. Excessive, but effective," I noted before looking around to see the yard was empty of enemies. "I guess we got them all"

"Aye. Now all that's left is to destroy the factory and free the lasses," Phil told me before leading the way into the large factory.

The place was nothing less than an assembly line of death. Machine parts that built car parts and guns. Posters of that bastard Dainn with various females worshipping his cock strewn about the place as propaganda. The walls were adorned with guns and ammo. "They got some major league toys here."

"Aye, and it only gets worse." Phil pointed further back against the wall where scared females were chained up with various collars.

"What do the different colors mean?" I asked as some of them pulled against their chains while a few just sat back and pleasured themselves.

"You see the ones with black collars? It means they still have some fight in them and want to be free." Phil then pointed to the mares and yaks fucking themselves. "The red-collared ones more or less gave in to their lust and enjoy being slaves."

"That's extremely fucked up!" Venom screamed in my head. "We should eat everyone's head!"

"We'll eat as many heads as possible," I told him.

"You'll do what?" Phil asked.

"Talking about eating enemy heads. Now, let's do some liberating." I cracked my fingers and neck before heading toward the girls.

“Hold up? Ya actually eat heads?” Phill asked and we both nodded. “That’s sick, man…”

"It's very tasty. Almost like chocolate pudding, but very chewy." I went over to the first female yak with a black collar on and ripped her chain and collar off. "Look for cover or kill some fuckers with us, I don't care." I then went over to a red-collar yak and as soon as I got close, she went right for my pants. "Whoa, hey! No!" I slapped her hands away before ripping off her collar. "No Nookie for you!"

“But Yak can please master~,” the yak woman cooed. “Yak only good for breeding after all~.”

“See what I mean?” Phill said with a frown. “And don’t get me started on the poor lasses who wear purple collars.”

"What, are they fucked to the point they're crazy?" When I got no response, my heart sank. "Oh shit, that's exactly what it is, isn't it?"

“It’s as grim as you think, mate,” Phill said, making a nerve in my patience snap.

"Makes me want to burn them alive in a mass grave and watch them beat and crawl their way to the surface, only for me to bash their heads in with a nine iron." I shook my head a bit to cool down before going back to free the girls. "Sorry, I had to deal with this kind of crap before."

"This shite is happening in your world as well?" Phil asked me.

"Almost, but I stomped them into the ground before the first battle even began. It was amazing," I boasted before heading to the last Yak, a young yak with her hair done up in hoops. "Don't worry. We're here to save you."

The yak girl backed away for fear of her life.

“Poor lass…” Phill said. “It be like this everywhere in this world.”

I understood and backed away from the young woman. I saw a blanket nearby and offered it to her. "I'm not the enemy. But I am here to save you from them."

“Yak…hate…males…” the young girl said with fear and anger in her voice. “Males…kill…p-prince.”

"I can understand your hatred. But maybe, for the time being, don't hate the winged monkeys?" I tried joking with her to lighten the mood.

“Allow me, mate,” Phill said and stepped in front of me. I watched him unfurl his wings which made the girl stare at him.

“You…Angel Saint?” The girl spoke. “You are Angel Saint?”

“That I am, love,” Phill spoke softly.

“If you hear, where is Hand?” The girl asked.

“He’s off saving more of Yakyakistan. This bloke here is with me. You can trust him as you can me,” Phill reassured.

"Joe. And I just wanna say, that we're not like-"

Woof!

"Wait! Is that?"

Woof! Woof!

"Hercules!" I ran over to the sound of my doggy and saw him in a small cage. "Herc! I found you!" I opened the cage and Herc immediately jumped up and licked my face. "Hey! I missed you too, buddy!"

"This is your pup!?" Phil asked after seeing Herc. "He's massive!"

"That's right, he's Equestria's biggest lap dog." I then started petting Herc. "Isn't that right? Who's a cuddle machine? Who hops up on the bed and wants snuggles!?" As I kept reuniting with my pal, the young Yak girl came over with a softer expression.

"Y... Yona, like dogs." As soon as she said that, Herc went over and rubbed his big ol' head against her, making her laugh a bit. "Yona like Hercules."

"And Hercules likes you too." Yona gave me a soft smile before we all got off the floor. "We're gonna get you out of here."

“I don’t think so.”

“FUCKN’ HELL! GET DOWN!” Phill screamed and grabbed Yona and Herc.

Suddenly, I barely had enough time to duck out of the way when my senses screamed at me to dodge. A massive slash cut through the air and almost lopped everyone’s heads off. I somersaulted out of the way and turned around to see a caribou walking towards us wearing an open jacket and black trousers. I noticed his forearms were morphed like large blades, and his fingers as well.

“You two are the ones who destroyed our factory and freed our slaves?” The caribou asked as he opened and closed his bladed hand, which sounded like metal rubbing against each other.

"Damn straight I did. And guess what, I'd do it all over again." I unfurled my shield, unsheathed my ax, and fully wolfed out. "Come and get some, Scissorhands!"

When I charged him, the caribou morphed both his arms into complete blades before they clashed with my shield.

“May I have the name of the mongrel who attacked our factory?” The caribou asked as he pushed forward.

"You first, Dicknose," I barked before pushing him into a furnace.

Surprisingly, the caribou withstood the heat and managed to push me back.

“The name’s Striga,” the caribou said. “And you are minced meat! SPAR CLAW!”

Suddenly, Striga turned the undersides of his fingers into blades before slashing at me. I barely had time to deflect it as he swung his fingers with enough force that he split the objects behind me. I winced as my shoulders, hips, and legs were cut deeply as he swung his leg up and kicked my jaw.

The cuts quickly healed as my fury rose. "Well then, allow me to introduce myself. I am ripper." I booted him back into the furnace. "Terror!" I pinned him with my shield. "Slasher!" I punched him straight in the face. "Gauger!" I pressed the blade of my ax against his throat as the ice started to form. "I am the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night! Mine is strength, and lust, and power!" I then had Venom cover us. "WE ARE VENOM!!!"

Striga grit his teeth and morphed his legs into blades before swinging them. The blades hit my body with enough force to knock me back and against the other side of the wall. I snarled at him as he stood back up but his legs were shaking.

“Argh! My legs are vibrating like crazy!” Striga said. “What is your body made of?!”

"Pure power and divinity! Now get over here, we still have an ass-kicking to give you!" With that, we charged forward with Phil coming up on our left.

“Grrr! SPIRAL HOLLOW!” Striga yelled.

Striga created circular blades along his forearms before making them spin, turning his forearms into mini-tiller blades. Due to the way the blades spun around his arms, his arms resembled drills used by excavators. Striga jumped over me before I could literally take a bite out of him and went for Phill. Phill drew his sword and clashed with Striga as his blades sounded like a buzzsaw tearing through his sword.

Getting tired of this shit, I brought out my Glock and shot the back of Striga's knee. To my surprise, it punched through. Thank the all-father for high-caliber bullets.

“AGH!” Striga yelled in agony, giving Phill the upper hand.

“TAKE THIS, SLAVE OF THE DEVIL!” Phill screamed and pointed his finger at his chest. “HOLY JUDGMENT!”

A beam of light shot out from his fingers and pierced Striga’s chest. Striga coughed a mouthful of blood before falling to his knees.

"Let's finish this!" We grabbed our sword from our bag and let the blue flames engulf it. We then charged forward and sliced Striga's head clean off. Venom retreated back as the body slumped to the ground. "Descend in pain, demon."

"Impressive. It usually takes a while to deal with these Shites," Phil nodded my way. Just then, a strange-looking fruit appeared on Striga's body. "The Blade-Blade fruit."

"Is that what it's called? Kinda dumb, but whatever." I grabbed the fruit and popped it in my gullet.

"Nooo!" Phill screamed just as I swallowed. "Do ya realize what you've done!?"

"Yeah. I ate a fruit that tasted like moldy gym socks." Suddenly, I felt a pain in my stomach and it started rising up my throat. "Although, I think I might need to find a trash bin." I ran toward the nearest window and let out a horrible wrenching noise that was soon followed by hundreds of sharp knives. "Damn. Feels like my Freshman year in college."

Phill facepalmed. “Ya just cursed yourself…”

“Come again?” I asked.

“You joehst coehrsed yooehr very sooehl, you ‘alfwit! Now you’re eternally booehnd fahr de inferno itself! Naht ahnly dat, boeht you can no lahnger swem in de sea!” Phill screamed in my face with a heavy accent.

"You sure? Cause the fruit's right over there." I pointed outside and the fruit I ate was sitting in the snow amongst several knives.

Phil looked stunned before he grabbed my arms and looked them up and down. "I don't fuckin' believe it." He then looks me in the eye. "You're clean."

"I wouldn't say clean. I'm sweaty and covered in blood."

“How?! I saw you ate a damn Devil Fruit!” Phill asked.

I shrugged like it was nothing. "Healing factor, Venom, Odin's blood running through my veins, take your pick. Can't swim anymore? What kind of BS is that?" I asked before going over to Yona, who was hiding during the battle. "Yona alright?"

Yona could only nod as I watched Phill pick up the fruit and tuck it into his coat.

“Bloody hell, what a wild ride,” Phill said. “That’s another blow to Sloth’s control around here, that’s for sure.”

"Glad I could help." Herc came over and started licking mine and Yona's faces. "So what now?"

“Now I gotta go tell me mate I’m all done here,” Phill said and reached out his hand. “Gotta thank ya a ton, mate. Ya saved me a lot of time with this. I know Lock would approve as well.” Must be the name of his friend.

I clasped his hand and gave it a firm shake. "Maybe I oughta tell him my-" I was cut off after my phone started ringing. "One sec." I got it out and saw that it was Luna calling. "Hey, babe, what's up?"

"Honey, you need to come home right away. Scootaloo and the other Crusaders just got their Cutie Marks!"

"They did!? Holy shit! I'll be right there!" I hung up before whistling Herc over. "Phil, I gotta go. My daughter just earned her Cutie Mark!"

“Hey! Good on you!” Phill said with a smile. “Go on home then. I’ll take care of things from here.”

"Awesome, great meeting with you, Phil. Yona, you're in good hands."

"Yona thank Joe." She then pecked me on the cheek before turning with a blush.

I chuckled at the gesture before grabbing my key. "Catch you on the flip side."

I opened a portal and gave the two a two-fingered salute. Just as stepped through the portal, I caught sight of a dreamy smile plastered across Yona’s face.

The portal closed before I could ponder any further on the look she gave me, and I was tackled to the ground by my very excited daughter.

"Dad! Dad! We finally got our Cutie Marks!" Scoots cheered as Bloom and Sweetie joined in on the hug.

"I heard. I'm so proud of you." I hugged them tight. "I know how much you all waited for this day."

"And you'll never guess who helped us get them," Bloom added before pointing behind her.

I looked behind her and saw Diamond Tiara with a nervous smile. "Diamond? Really? Wow, I can't wait to hear the full story on that." I gave Diamond a thumbs-up before getting up. "Thanks for helping them, Diamond."

"You're welcome, but the truth is, they helped me too," Diamond confessed before the Crusaders brought her into a hug.

Ruff! Herc started bounding around us and licked all our faces. It was truly a happy day.

Author's Note

Okay, that took forever. Shout out to my friend and fellow League member, WurkyWilk358 0w0, for lending me both help and the Angel's Saint to kick some ass.

Initially, I wanted to do something with the Crusaders earning their marks, but the coin decided for me. Anyway, here's how the other idea would have gone down.

And one for fun.

God, I love this song.