Human vs chaos magic

by hupedupe

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Nightmare Moon, Spike, Profanity, Discord, Violence, Human
Length: 10171

Today I learnt this world has a discord of its own. But instead of an social media app, its the spirit of mischief and chaos.

It has been a year since Nightmare entered my mind. Since that day, we got to know each other better. Everything was fine until some guy named Discord escaped his stone prison and began spreading chaos and mess in similar way a 3 year old would. Just as I thought this world couldn't get anymore cartoonish, he comes along.

Published 2023-04-02 16:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2023-05-28 07:19:42 UTC

Chapter 1

I groaned and grunted as I heaved a bucket full of apples before I began carrying it towards a carriage that had more of these buckets. I walked as if I had shit myself and my balls have grown to the size of large shoping bags. I walked up a small, improvised staircase made by me before dropping the bucket. I began huffing while I used the bottom of my T-shirt to wipe the sweat off my forehead before getting off of the carriage and walking to the front of it where sweaty Big Mac was standing, ready to be hooked up to the carriage. Thanks to my bipetal stature, I'm able to do tasks that ponies tend to struggle with a lot easier. Like for example, holding things with my hand. Don't get me wrong, I SAW ponies HOLDING things in their FINGERLESS hooves but it's not uncommon that the things they hold tend to slip up and fall on the ground. Have you ever saw a pony holding a cup in their hoof? It looks like as if a human tried to hold it with their wrist.

Anyway, As I continued to huff I gave Mac a nod to which he nodded back and stepped between the shafts where I strapped a leather belt around his mid-section before giving him a thumb up. He nodded again and began dragging the carriage towards a barn where the apples would be stored. I followed him for a bit until said barn and house the Apple Family lived in came into view. I came up to the house and sat down on the porch where I took off my T-shirt and proceeded to use it as a towel. I pressed it against my face as I just sat there hunched over and being miserable.

"Water?" I looked up and saw Apple Bloom looking at me with a smile while holding a tray that had a 0,5l glass of water. I took the glass and drank the ice cold water in big gulps until it was empty. I put the glass back on the tray.

"Thanks." I said as I laid down on my back and stretched out.

"It's still weird, ya know. Why would a male need nipples." Apple Bloom was much smarter and more mature than anybody thinks, not even she realises it. Noticing things other ponies would normally ignore.

"Have I ever told you why that is?" I asked before looking at her. She put a hoof against her chin as she looked up thoughtfully before looking back at me.

"No, I don't think so."

"It's because human enbryos form them before their genitalia does." She looked at me with thoughtful face.

"Still. It doesn't make it any less weird." I lifted my hand in a shrugging manner. I laid back down and stayed like that for a few moments before I heard Aj yell at me.

"Put that damn piece of clothing back on or Ah swear to Celestia, Ah'll buck ya to da next week." Yeah, Aj doesn't like when I'm shirtless, especially when Apple Bloom is nearby. I sat up before Grabbing my T-shirt and put in back on. It was disgusting because it completely soaked in cold sweat which made me shiver. Aj came up to the porch before speaking to me. "Now, that ya are covered, we can talk business. So, how much do we owe ya for yer help?"

"Two hundred and fifty." I said without hesitation.

"Whoa there, nelly. That's alot of bits there, Martin," Aj replied with wide eyes.

"I know but today was supposed to be my day off. But guess what, not only I DIDN'T get a day off, no no no no. I would be asking too much," I used an exasperated gesticulations while I talked, "I did 32 fixes and worked 4 times as hard on your farm. So I think 250 is still a mild demand." I took a deep breath to calm down a bit before continuing. "Besides, you're paying me 150 so it's not that much of a raise." She put her hoof to her chin in thought for a moment before speaking.

"Ah dunno. It still is a lot. We apples ain't the richest folk here, we can't throw bits around willy-nilly as we please." I rubbed my face while I thought about this. It was the truth, while their business was doing good, most of the money went into supplies and tools while some went for Bloom's education. That didn't left much for employees like myself. But then an idea occured to me on how I could cleverly solve this.

"Okay, if you can't pay me 250 bits. Pay me the standart 150 plus 2 days off," I offered. She knew I had her trapped. She could either pay me extra or give extra vocation, neither of which would be good for her.

"Alright, ya deserve a longer rest for today," Aj rubbed her left foreleg while looking anxious. "Sorry Ah brought ya here and made ya work when ya already had a hard day," I waved my hand at her.

"Ahh, it wasn't all that hard. Just long and exhausting." I spread my hands wide while grinning at Aj. "And hey, I'm getting 2 days off, so I'm GOLDEEEEEN!" I exclaimed happily. Aj smiled at me before she went into the house to get me my payment. I pocketed the sack, said my goodbyes and went home.

I climbed out from the shower and came up to the mirror and gave myself a good look over. I grabbed a handful of my hair and ran a hand over my cheek, chin and mouth.

I really should visit Short Cut to get my hair in order and shave myself, I thought to myself.

"I like the way you look. It makes you look like the hero from fables Luna used to read when she was younger. Plus when you wake up, the bed hair makes you look so wild, untamed and savage~" Nightmare whispered in a husky tone.

"Ayo, chill out Night or I'll send you into the Horny Jail." Nightmare pouted at me.

"I was just joking, Martin. You don't have to send me into your 'Horny Jail' right away", she sighed before continuing." 'It's just... it's really lonely in here when you're not here. Some days I just want to go out and talk with other ponies. It's so unfair." I let out a sad breath through my nose.

"No. It isn't. But life rarely is, we just have to deal with the cards we are given." I leaned foward and looked into the sink, "and while I can't take away your loneliness, know that I'm here for you anytime you need me." A feeling of warmth, affection and gratitude washed over me.

"Thank you, Martin." I nodded before I got out from the bathroom with towel wrapped around my waist and went into my bedroom. I layed into the bed, closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.

Everywhere I looked, it was black as in the ass. "Maybe I could decorate it a bit. This is fucking creepy." I shivered, anything I thought of could appear at any moment like a life-sized Cthulhu, Leviathan or any other lovecraftian freaks. Or Gargantuan Leviathan from Subnatica. Again. I shivered again, good thing Night regulates my imagination in this place.

I looked around but she was nowhere to be found. Yeah, she likes to hide before pouncing at me. I prepared myself as she could literally jump from anywhere.

"AHHH!" I quickly turned around and conjured a portal to sent her into a pressing machine, turning her into a litteral pancake. I came up to her with a cheeky grin on my face while she was looking at me with unamused face. "Was that press really necessary?"

"No, but that's what you get for trying to jumpscare me." I said while conjured a pump and offered the needle to Night. She blew a raspberry at me before taking the needle into her mouth. I began pumping air into her until she was back to her normal size. She than spat out the needle before she stood up and "deleted" all of my bones. Night made her way towards me with a predatory grin until an ass appeared in front of her and began rubbing itself against her face, smearing chocolate (Not shit. Chocolate) against it. I laughed at her and "reinstaled" my bones back while she was shrieking and running wherever she could. After some time, Night made her way towards me, completely covered in chocolate and scowling at me but I saw how she was trying to inconspicuously lick the chocolate off of her face.

"Did you REALLY have to stain my face and fur with chocolate?" she exclaimed angrily, to which I just shrugged.

"It's not like you can't just make it vanish," I countered.

"True, but this is a matter of principle. Do you have any idea how hard it is to remove a sticky substance like chocolate from fur?" I put my hands against my waist and thought about it for a moment before I looked back at Night. I grinned and turned the chocolate into a bubble gum. She checked herself out, eyes wide and mouth hanging. She then looked at me before growling, "why you little."

We then began fucking around for some time, childishly getting back at each other like we usually do. After we had enough, Night turned into humanoid version of herself with boobs big enough to crush my head like an egg and ass so plump and supple, you just WANT to spank and squeeze it with anything and everything you could think of. And the sports bra and tight shorts she keeps wearing are not helping me. Sometimes, I swear Night is doing it on purpose to tease me.

We were chilling on a couch with me sitting between Night's legs and using her belly like pillows while playing Dark Souls 2 while she was stroking my hair and squeezed me firmly on occasion. I was fighting the Ruin Sentinels, 2 of them down and the last one on low hp. But I was on low hp as well and out of Estuses so I had to-

"DO BOHAAAA!" I raged. Of-fucking-course the Sentinel was able to exactly pin-point mid-air where I would be and kill me again. I threw the controler at the TV and broke both of them. I rubbed my face while leaning more heavily against Night. "Tell me how the FUCK it killed me? How?" I stood up and turned towards her, "I wasn't even underneath the hammerhead. I was underneath its arm. What, did it elbowed me so hard my skull cave in or what?" I slumped down against Night and began huffing. After a few moments I felt confusion and curiosity flood me.

"I think I will never understand you. You like your comfort and yet you put yourself into situations like this and then you bitch and throw things." I shrugged.

"Well do like my comfort, but video games are video games. You love them even when they piss you off as hell," I replied, "and me throwing things is just" -I began spinning my forearms away from me- "me letting out the steam." Night chuckled a bit and before I knew it I was laying on my back with my head on Night's lap and a thick blanket covering my body. It's not the first time we've held each other close but she was in her original form so this a bit awkward for me though I kept it to myself. Night smiled down at me while she was stroking my hair again while I yawned.

"Why don't you get some sleep? Your body maybe asleep but your consciousness is still up and about and you need an actual sleep." She said in gentle voice.

"Now that you talk about it, it was a difficult day. Plus the playing we did, I'm all juiced up." Night's thighs were incredibly soft, the blanket heavy and warm, and the stroking was sooo relaxing. I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was out.

Night's POV:

I smiled down on Martin's sleeping form while I kept stroking his beautiful raven-black hair. He gave me a chance to show that I'm more than just an evil entity born from negative emotions and strong magic. A chance that the ponies or any other race on Equus would never do.

I brought my snout down to his forehead and gave it a long, loving kiss. "Thank you." I changed the couch into a heart shaped bed and layed down on my right side with Martin in front of me. I enlarged the blanket and covered myself with it before I began stroking Marting hair again. I watched Martin with a small smile when he suddenly turned on his belly, leaving his back exposed. I removed his t-shirt and began to gently stroke his back. After some time, his form shivered occasionally, causing mild shakes appeared in rhythm with them while the temperature around us began to rise.

That was my mark to stop. Slowly but surely, everything went back to it's original state. I wrapped my hand around Martin's body and intertwined my fingers with his before pulling him towards me. I removed any form of clothing from both of us and pulled Martin against my bare chest, enjoying the warmth that was coming off of him. I kissed the top of his head before wishing him a good night. I closed my eyes and began to rest and cherishing whatever time I had with him before he would be off in the waking world again.

"Make a hit roll." I did as Spike asked and rolled 18, which was a hit. Then I rolled for damage with 1d10 and rolled 1.

"NIEEE-HEHEH!" I shrieked while facepalming with both hands and leaning back against my chair.

"For shit's sake, Martin. You have more luck than reason, it's a kill." I looked at Spike with disbelieve.

"REALLY?" I exclaimed before he nodded, "AH-HAHAHAHAAA!" I laughed heartily and thrusted my fists into the air triumphantly before I slumped down against the table and began groaning loudly in relieve. I was on 1 hp and running out of things to use against my enemy so I was stressed as fuck. I raised up and began speaking. "Alright, I jam my halberd into the ogre's crotch before I decapitate it." Spike winced at the display of brutality. Even if we were just playing a game.

Sure, he's 14 but he was raised by the ponies so he has more of their morality and mindset. Which is not bad per se, but sometimes I think the ponies are more harmless than peaceful. Which is something I'm 100% positive a dragon can't afford. So I'm trying to build up his fortitude, both physically and mentaly to be strong enough to protect himself and those he cares for. And so far I was succesful, now instead of gagging, he eats whatever meat dishes I prepare for him with eagerness. I taught him a few MMA moves I learnt with my brother and we hit the gym a few times, though how the ponies even know what that is, is beyond me. It's not like they can do bench press or any weight lifting exercises. At least I thought so until I met Bulk Biceps. Fucker eats bricks and stones for breakfast, I swear.

"Is it just me or are your methods of killing your enemies getting more and more brutal?" Spike asked to which I shrugged.

"I told you we have to harden you against the nastier parts of life. Otherwise you won't be able-"

"To endure them. I know I know," he interupted me with nonchalant tone. "You keep saying that over and over again. And honestly, it's staring to grind on my nerves." He said with irritation in his voice. Fucking puberty, man. I took a deep breath before I replied.

"Because it's the truth, look at yourself," I asked him slowly. He grumbled quietly but did as I asked. "Ever since you've been eating meat, you've grown bigger and stronger. And don't let me start with the training and lessons I'm giving you. Tell me, don't you feel better about yourself, more confident?" He looked at the table uncertainly. "And this is just the beggining, I can teach you much more, show you much more. You just have to allow me, otherwise I can't help you any further." Spike looked up at me with what I assumed was shame.

"I'm sorry, that was mean of me." He looked back down. I leaned foward and put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look back at me.

"I forgive you," that made him smile. "But remember, when people are trying to help you, to guide you. Don't be a dick to them, alright?" he laughed at that. "Promise me you won't be a dick to people who mean well with you."

"I promise."

"You promise what?" Spike rolled his eyes at that. He lifted his left hand, 2 fingers up and looked me straight in the eye.

"I promise I won't be a dick to people who mean well with me." I smiled before ruffling his head.

"Atta boi" Suddenly I noticed 2 things. A smell of chocolate in the air which was getting more potent by the second, and the sound of heavy rain beating on the windows. I looked towards one of the windows and my jaw hit the ground at what I saw. There, out in the open, I saw a chocolate rain.

I heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs. I turned around and saw Twilight with a book in front of her face mumbling something. I came up to her and put a hand on her to stop her and to explain what the hell was hapening.

"What the actual fuck, Twilight? Since when do ponies make chocolate rain? And why? That can't be healthy for the plants. What about Aj's crops?" She looked up from her book and scowled at me. Yeah, besides Rarity, she likes it the least when I swear, especially when Spike is around.

"Could you PLEASE stop the non-stop cussing? For some reason there is a chocolate MILK raining and I really don't your colorful vocabulary right now." I lifted my hands in a placating manner.

"So, what does your smart book has to say about this?" I pointed at the rain. She looked back at the book before speaking.

"I believe it has a spell which can return everything back to normal." I rolled my eyes at that. Sure, just fix everything with a spell and be done with. Fucking pony cheaters, dude. "I already messaged Pinkie, Rarity and Fluttershy to meet us at Applejack's farm."

"And can't you, I dunno, cast the spell in here? Where we'll be nice and dry?" I asked, no way I'm going out into THAT rain. Twilight shook her head at that.

"This spell has to be performed outdoors. Otherwise, the wall would block the spell's effect." I sighed and rubbed my face. I really didn't want to ruin was clothes but at the same time I wanted to see how that spell would fix the rain.

I began taking of my clothes and put them on the chair I was using. "What are you doing," Twilight asked.

"It's raining fucking chocolate and it's raining like a bitch. No way I'm letting it ruin my most treasured clothes." The clothes I was talking about are the same ones I came here the first time around. They are the last thing I have from Earth and I'm not letting this fucking world ruin them with a bullshit like this.

Once I was down only to my boxers and ready to go, I looked at Twilight who was blushing heavily. "What?" I looked down on myself. Sure, I'm fairly muscular and decently defined but I'm no Arnold Schwarzenegger or Scott Adkins when he acted as Yuri Boyka so I don't know what her deal was.

"Are you going to stare at me for the rest of the day or are you planning on actually fixing the rain?" Twilight shook her head as she snapped out of her daze. She cleared her throat before she opened the door to her library. Spike and I followed behind her while she was still looking into the book and muttering something to herself. After a minute or 2 I looked up at the sky and saw the clounds were pink and looked more like a cotton candy then actual clouds. I opened my mouth to catch a few droplets of the chocolate milk and honestly, it was good. Very good in fact.

"Hmm, not bad." I smacked my lips before looking at Spike. Nudged him and nodded towards the sky when he looked at me. "Try it. It's really good." He did so and hummed appreciatively. I turned my head back up and began catching the droplets again.

"Really?" Twilight asked unamusedly. I looked her with 'so what' face.

"Don't blow it off until you try it, princess." We continued on our way until we got to AJ's farm where it was pure chaos. Corn was turned into popcorn, apples were 3 times the size of my head and there were bunnies that must've been following Fluttershy for some reason. Oh, and their legs were elongated and ended with hooves.

This isn't weird, this is bizarre, I thought bluntly.

Agreed. Discord must've broken free. That gave me a pause. Since when does discord exist in Equestria? No, not the social media app you humans made. Discord is the Lord of Chaos, the spirit of mischief, Night said. She then shared everything she knew about Discord with me. How he acts, what he can do, and how the princesses defeated him.

Skvele. Fakt skvele. I thought sarcastically.

I looked at Twilight and saw her horn shining brightly before a purple-ish beam shot out of it. Shortly after there was a bright flash which I unfortunately wasn't fast enough to block out. All that was missing was someone yelling "That wasn't MY flash". Fontunately, it was short-lived and I could see again and saw that the spell did jackshit. Everything was the same like when we came here.

Hmm, that went great. So, what's different? I wondered while looking at Twilight who was devastated.

"My fail-safe spell... FAILED," No shit Sherlock. Twilight then looked at Spike "What do we do?"

Why are you asking HIM? Spike looked back at her with uncertainty.

"Uhh... give up?" I snorted hard at that, though Twilight didn't found it funny at all if her frown was anything to go by.

"Spike," Rarity said in a reprimanding tone while giving Twilight her umbrella. "Twilight will come up with something." Twilight put a hoof to her chin while thinking.

"Time for plan B." Twilight straightened her posture while looking to the sky before she began giving Rainbow and AJ instructions. Pinkie exclaimed unhappily with perfect clarity despite the fact her cheeks were full of chocolate. When I saw her, I swore to god her cheeks were bigger than my ass cheeks.

Come on, Martin. Your ass is simply gigantic, Night joked.

You're one to speak, Spanklebutt! Your ass is twice the size of my torso, I shot back at her.

Moi? Well, forgive me for being gifted with genes from a powerful alicorn princess! Night exclaimed in feigned outrage. After a moment of silence she burst out laughing while I snortned while Imagining what princess Luna's anthro body could look like.

I looked at where the clump of clouds was and saw Fluttershy's animals sucking at it, causing me to gape at them. Is Fluttershy nuts? Doesn't she know chocolate will mess up her animals? I turned towards the pegasus and gave a serious look.

"Fluttershy." I said, causing her to look at me before she began cowering. I pointed my hand at the animals, "what the hell is this? Do you want to kill them or something?" Fluttershy's eyes widened in shock before jumping into the air.

"NO!" She exclaimed loudly, which was quite unusual from her. "No, of course not. I love each and every one of them as if they were my own!"

"Then why the hell are you allowing them to gorge themselves on chocolate? They don't have the necessary enzymes to properly digest chocolate." Fluttershy looked at me with confusion.

"I gave my animals chocolate before and they are perfetcly fine." You know what? Fuck this world and it's weird ass nature. For what purpose the animals of this world would develop the ability to eat chocolate?

Multiverse theory. Night sang louldy.

Yeah, fuck you too. I replied in sarcastically.

We heard Spike burping before a scroll fell on the ground. We all looked at it before Twilight grabbed it in her magic and began reading. She gasped and began speaking frantically.

"Come on, girls! Princess Celestia want's to see us all in Canterlot immediately!" They all looked at each other before rushing off towards Canterlot. Spike looked at me with confused face while I picked up the scroll Twilight dropped.

"What do you think it's about?" He asked while I was reading.

"I'm sure the princess just invited them over for a tea and biscuits while wanting to talk about today's weather." I folded the paper a few times before putting it into the hem of my boxers. "Do you want to pick up where we left?" I asked Spike to which he nodded excitedly. Good news was it stoped raining completely.

When we came back into the library, I took a shower and put on my clothes and we went back to our DnD session. Once we were done, I decided to find some other way to chill. I asked Spike if he wanted to join but he declined, saying he had to take care of the library while Twilight was gone. I shrugged and opened the main door and what I saw was just... grotesque.

Some of the houses along with the town hall were floating about 20 or more meters above ground, the grass had a chess motif, half of Ponyville was soaked in chocolate rain and other bullshit. The thing that surprised me the least was Ditzy stuck all the way through a mailbox.

"Ditzy!" I exclaimed, "what are you doing here?" She looked at me with sheepish smile.

"I was flying when a pink cloud whizzed around me and I lost control," Ditzy replied. This wasn't the first time I saw her similiar situation.

"Want help?" She nodded. I went into the library's kitched and returned with a bottle of oil in my hand.

"Could you please not use the oil? My boss wasn't very happy about it last time." I put the oil on the ground and tried to figure out what to do. The best would be if I called somebody here but without a phone I would be searching the entire town and we both had things to do. The next thing that occured to me was to have Spike use his breath to melt away the box but that would endanger Ditzy so I dismissed it. I rubbed my face as I couldn't figure out what to do.

You could try to force it open, Night suggested. I lowered my hands and looked at the box again.

You mean like: I grab one side, tear it off and bent it all the way to the opposite side? Night nodded mentaly. I gave the box a look over. I can do that? Night nodded again. How?

You forget that because of my magical nature, my presence enhances all of your movement skills. Night stated matter of factly.

"Ditzy." She looked up at me, "I'm going to try something, and it's probably a dumb idea but the only other way is the oil." Ditzy sighed before nodding.

"Do it." I came up to the box and grabbed the bottom and side of the box and began to pull. I let out a long, strained breath through my purse lips while I struggled to peel the metal off. I jerked as the metal came loose suddenly. I slowly began peeling the side like sheet of paper from a notebook before I began bending it towards the opposite side. When I was done, I gave Ditzy a thumb up for her to get off.

"Wow, Martin. You're really strong!" She exclaimed happily. I laughed lightly at that.

"Looks like working for Applejack is finally paying off." Ditzy laughed.

"Some foals would have said that you're as strong as a superhero," I shrugged. "Anyway I should go, I still have a job to do. See ya." Ditzy said with a wave.

"Bye." I replied with a wave of my own. I continued back to Lyra and Bonbon's house while trying to avoid the rain as much as possible. I stopped when the day suddenly turned into a night. I looked up at the sky and saw the moon which was then replaced with the sun again and caused me to get blinded again.

"MAMRD POJEBANÝ!" I roard while rubbing eyes. I lowered my hands and slowly opened my eyes and saw it was night again. I just shook my head and continued on my way. Because of the dark, I didn't notice the dirt road has been turned into a soap and slipped on it like a cripple. I stood up and continued again. Along the way I saw more bunnies with elongated legs, buffalos doing ballet and other shit.

When I arrived and opened the door, I rubbed my eyes multiple times to make sure I wasn't just making THAT fuckery up. Everyting and I mean EVERYTHING was standing on the CEILING, the furniture, the decorations, even fucking Lyra and Bonbon who were SLEEPING on the couch.

"Viete vy čo? Jebať ! Na toto nemám náladu." I went up the stairs and into my room where I changed. I looked out of the window and began wondering if I should do something or stay inside. Dad always said 'if I can help, I'll help. And if I can't, then at least I won't insult.' But the question is: CAN I help with this? What can I do? I'm a... a basic guy, no one exceptional.

You are WRONG, Martin! Night said in a 'no bullshit' tone. It was YOU who gave me a chance! it was YOU who did not gave up upon me! It was YOU who showed me the errors of my old ways! You may be no Einstein. You may be no Sherlock Holmes. You may be no Commander Shepard but that doesn't matter! You are exceptional for who you ARE! NOT for who or what you AREN'T! I felt a warm sensation around my neck, back and chest. It felt as if I was being hugged from behind. And remember: You are NOT alone. I smiled at that while I put my hand where I felt the sensation.

Thanks, Night. But the question is still valid. What can I do?

What you do best. Fix things! Night said resolutely.

How? This isn't your average household malfunction. Night hummed quietly before speaking.

You could use me a conduit and use the ambient magic in your favor, I frowned.

How?

Magic, in its most basic form, is energy. Using me as a source, I can connect you with the ambient magical energy through my own magical energy. Which in theory, should allow you to use magic to reverse everything Discord did. I watched the condition Ponyville was in as I thought about it.

So, what now? I asked.

Go outside so I can connect you with the ambient magic. I stood up and went in front of the house. Put you hands up and close your eyes. I did as instructed. A feeling of warmth sprang up in my head before it began slowly flowing down my neck, across my entire arms until it reached the tips of my fingers. Now start taking deep breaths and let the rest to me.

Soon I felt more... energetic would be the best way to describe it. Like I could do much more. Anything really. I opened my eyes, I saw small indigo tendrils waving back and forth before they disappeared. I looked around and everything looked the same. I looked down on my hands before Night's voice came up.

Do you see the rock that's laying a bit to your left? I looked towards it and nodded. Extend your arm and focus, I did so, now imagine the same tendrils wrapping themselves around the rock and pull it towards yourself. I did as instucted but nothing happened. I thought that maybe I had to give a stronger pull so I pulled harder, causing the rock to sprung up from its place and fly directly towards my face. Faster than I could realise, my hand moved up and caught the rock. I looked down at the rock a examined it a bit. A normal rock. An idea came up in my head.

I aimed my hand at the sky and imagine an energy build up happening in my palm. After a bit, I discharged the energy and sent the rock flying out my hand like a bullet before it was gone. I looked at my hand again and grinned.

"I know magic," I said to which Night smirked.

Show me.

I looked around and came up to a house that was floating upside down. I outstretched my hands and I imagined dozens of tiny tendrils wrapping themselves around the house before they began turning it. At first nothing happened but after a few moments, the house ACTUALLY began turning around. When it was turned correctly, I imagined the tendrils slowly lowering the house until it touched down and after a moment, it happened.

I touched my face while my head felt like it would split open any second. I sat down and waited for the pain subside before I looked for something else to fix.

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! Slow down, Martin. Night said loudly which made me frown in confusion. When somebody experience a headache of such magnitute after casting, they need at least a few hours of rest before they can start casting even the WEAKEST of spells. Fuck, this is going to be a problem.

What happens if somebody exerts themselve too much?

They usually pass out but since you're not a pony, I can't say for sure, Fucking hell.

Alright, so what do want me to do? I can't just sit here and rest for hours when I have still have a whole TOWN to fix! Night was quiet for a bit before answering.

Let me cast the spells, you just aim your hands at your target, I nodded before standing up.

"Alright, let's get back at it then."

"And... done!" I said as I let an exasperated breath. 3 hours. It took me 3 fucking hours to get Ponyville into SOME semblance of normality and still wasn't enough. I rubbed my face before I looked around to see what I could fix next.

You should get some rest, Martin. Even with me being the caster, your body still isn't used to this type of exersion. I wanted to. I really wanted but we still had work to do.

I'd loved nothing more than to fall down on my bed and sleep. But we still have to finish what we have started. I began walking when a voice rang up behind me.

"OH. So it was YOU who have been reversing my chaos!" I rapidly turned around and sure enough, Discord was there. About 15 or so centimeters away from my face.

That's when something flared up in my head. I didn't know what it was at the time, but now I think that it was Night's doing. Faster then I or the fucker could react, I sent a really hard straight to his face. That caused him to fly away about 10 meter while his face looked like a pucker. I shit you not. It literally looked like an anus. And if I wasn't scared shitless, I would have laughed.

As it was, I just stared in shock as I processed what had just happened. I looked down at my fist and then back up again. Discord's left hand reached into the wrinkled circle and pulled out a scowling face.

"First you disrupt my work and then you have the GUTS to attack me! Very rude." Discord growled before he stood up and put his hands behind his back while walking in circles around me. "I consider myself a sporting type, so I will give a single and definitive warning -" Discord stopped in front of me befole putting his forehead against mine and began speaking in low tone "- stop what you are doing... or you are going to regret crossing paths with me." He pushed me away and began walking away.

I put a hand over my thundering heart as I took in deep breaths. What are we going to do? I asked.

We can't continue without his intervention and he isn't going to let us slide a second time.

Where does that leave us?

Fight or flight, Fuck. Fuck. This is... FUCK! I'm not afraid to go into a fight if I have to but I can't just take on a spirit of chaos. The biggest problem was that if he uses his magic, I'm done for.

Not necessarily.

How?

We are connected to the ambient magic so whatever spell he tries with his magic, I can interrupt it. I looked up at Discord who was sitting on a throne that was facing away from me.

I looked around to see what I could use and found a rock as big as if I put my fists together. I picked it up and made my way towards the throne while loading magic into my forearm.

I came up to a bottom of a small hill on which the throne was standing. I aimed my hand where I thought Discord's head would be. "Hey, asshole!" I barked at him, making him to turn around with the throne as well. The second he saw me, I discharged the magic as hard as I could, shooting out the rock like a cannonball.

Discord's hand shoot up and caught the rock before it could make contact. He pulled his lion paw away and looked down at me with anger before tossing the rock away.

Fuck.

Author's Note

gram. mistakes made on purpose:

boi

Skvele. Fakt skvele = Great. Just great.
NIE-HEHEH = NO-HOHOH
MAMRD POJEBANÝ = MOTHERFUCKER
Viete vy čo? Jebať. Na toto nemám náladu = You know what? Fuck it. I'm in no mood for this

Chapter 2

"I believe I gave you a warning." He said as he turned his eagle talon threw a magic ball at me. Faster than either of us realised, my hand shot up and threw its own magic ball which collided with Discord's. That caused Discord to look at me in suprise before trying it again. Again, my hand threw a ball in unison with his and canceled it. He did it one more time before realising it was poitnless. He then tried to snap his fingers before another magic ball hit it. He looked into my eyes before a smile which could only be described as malevolent.

He then went back to throwing balls at me but at a much faster rate. My hands flowed through the air and kept throwing their own balls as well while I did my best to avoid the ones mine couldn't catch. After a while it stopped and I saw Discord looking at me with a huge, psychopathic grin.

"Oh, I see what is happening." He said before he stood up and made his way to me while I began backing off. "You have something within yourself. A ceratin type of magic that does not belong to you." Now he was on ground level with me. He began making slow circles around me while I spun around with him to keep him in my sight. "One that I felt once over a 1000 years ago." He paused before turning towards me. "And then a year ago again." I jumped in fright as his voice echoed in my ear from behind. I turned around and took a few steps back and saw Discord standing much closer.

"Of course, it is nowhere near the power I posses." I looked at the spot he was before and found it empty. I look back at Discord and saw him cracking his knuckles before doing the same for his entire body. As he did that, I asked Night what to do and we came up with a few things that would hopefully help us. When he was done, he snapped his fingers and changed himself into a minotaur. A fucking, 2,5 meters tall, with biceps twice the size of my head minotaur.

I got my hands up and feet into a boxing stance. I slowly advanced towards Discord. He raised his hands in preparation as well.

He swung his fist when I was close enough. I swiftly ducked and sent a left jab into his gut. I took several steps back as Discord looked at me. He charged towards me without warning. He then sent a straight at my face. I leaned back to avoid it and quickly followed up with a low kick to his knee. He yelled in pain and fell on the other one. I Seized the opportunity and I grabbed him by his horns. I then kneed him in the chin.

I stood over him panting heavily as he was lying on his back, clutching at his jaw. "Looks like I'll have to step up my game," he chuckled before transforming into huge anaconda. He coiled tightly around my body. I struggled to breathe as he squeezed hard.

He brought his head in front of me while smiling menacingly. Big mistake. I managed to slip my hand out and grabbed his head. I began squeezing as hard as I could back. Though he it only angered him and made him squeeze harder. I gasped for air while the fear of dying got to me. I was barely able to turn his head before shoving my thumb into his eye. Discord roared in pain and turned into his true form. I seized the opportunity and began gouging at his other eye as well. I pulled my hands away before sending a combo of punches into his face. I finished with spinning heel kick to his jaw and sent him flying.

I huffed while lowering my stance and watching Discord's lying form. A chuckle broke out, causing me to bring up my guard up again. Discord sat up while any damage I did to him fixed itself.

"You should have stayed away like I told you." He teleported behind me and picked me up. He then slammed against the ground multiple times like Hulk did with Loki. He threw me through the air and into a building. I layed on the ground in pure shock as Discord's face came into my view. He grinned down at me before he picked me up and tossed me. I landed against a display case. When I looked through it and realised we were in Sugarcube Corner. I slowly turned around before Discord pushed me down. Pain shot up into my forearm when he slammed his claws in.

"KOKOT POJEBANÝ!" I shut my eyes as I screamed. I looked back up and froze in horror. Discord's head was that of a dear but the snout was longer and wider with sharp teeth. The eyes were missing and the only muscle on it were the masticatory ones.

Discord pulled his head back slightly. I barely dodged his attack. I grabbed him by the neck and held him back. But his ceaseless moving and snapping made it hard. My leg kicked out and hit him in the knee. He jumped slightly but was otherwise unaffected. My leg kicked out again and got him in the balls this time. Discord stopped moving for a moment for falling on the ground. His talon scratched my forearm deeply as he did.

"AHHRGH!" I screamed as I clutched at the wound.

Quickly, Martin! There is a medkit in the bathroom upstairs! I notcaring how she knew, began running but stopped. I turned around and looked at Discord. I stomped down on his temple as hard as I could. I quickly got into the bathroom and opened a cabinet above the sink. I pulled out the kit and looked for a staple gun. It wasn't there and there wasn't time for anything else.

PINKIE'S ROOM! I decided not to question and just listen. I barged into Pinkie's room and looked for anything useful. THE NIGHT STAND! OPEN ITS DRAWER! I ran up to the nightstand and opened the first drawer and found a dildo. THE OTHER ONE! I opened the second drawer and found a roll of ducktape. I untaped the tip and wrapped the tape around the wound.

I checked the 5 layers around my hand for any mistakes as I finished bandaging my wound. I heard a loud crash behind me that caused me to turn. My heart began racing when I saw Discord floating above a hole he made. His eyes locked onto mine and he let out a wicked grin, "Oh, I'm going to enjoy causing you immense pain for that little stunt of yours."

Not a moment too soon I was thrown out of a window and landed on my stomach. I lifted my head and saw Discord's legs. His lion paw grasped my head before I cound react. I was lifted into the air as he began squeezing. I tried to kick him but he just lengthed his hand. My sight began darkening as the pressure gradually increased. I punched and kicked at his hand but it just woundn't let go. My sight turned indigo as I thought my head would explode.

"NOOOOOOOO!" My voice boomed. The weird thing was that it wasn't me who said it.

My sight soon returned to normal. I saw Discord clutching at his face. My body then began moving at its own accord. It rushed up to Discord and sent a 540 kick to his face. Discord did 180 mid air before falling on the ground. My body rushed to him again. His tail suddenly wrapped itself around my leg. My body was flunged before crashing into a wall. My body lifted itself before turning towards Discord. My teeth gritted as my voice growled at him.

"I'm not going to let you hurt him anymore!"

What the- NIGHT?

Not now. Discord looked at me with intrigue as he put his talon to his chin.

"And who are you?" Night's only response was a charge. Night began throwing combo after combo at Discord. Her moves were much slower and more sloppy than mine though. Discord had little trouble blocking her attacks. That went on for a bit before Discord scored a hard straight. My body was once again sent flying. This time it collided with a lamp post. The impact was so hard the metal bent.

My body was lying on the ground while I was panting. A lion paw wrapped its fingers around my neck before it squeezed. I hit against the paw before I was slammed on the ground. The eagle talon wrapped its fingers around my neck as well. I gag and wheezed as I tried to breathe in.

Night, we have to do something. I urged while hoping for something, anything to get me out of this.

I don't know what to DO! He's too strong for me to handle alone and you're not even able to do the bare basics yet! An idea struck my head.

You can't fight with my body but I can. I can't do magic well but you can. We can't defeat him by ourselves but together we may have a chance.

What do you have in mind? I quickly explained a plan which would hopefuly worked.

My sight gained an indigo hue to it before 'lasers' shot out of my eyes. Discord grinned as his eyes shot out their own 'lasers'.

"I'm not falling for the same trick twice."

I don't need you to. I though to myself as I prepared my right hand. I aimed it at Discord's ribs while Night gathered her magic into my nails.

Ready.

Now or never. I slammed my hand against Discord as hard as I could. Night discharged the magic when my hand made a contact. There was a loud explosion as Discord flew off of me. I gasped and coughed as air filled my lungs. I sat up and did so for a minute before it subsided. I looked in the direction Discord flew off and sloppily made my way towards him.

Discord was sprawled out while black smoke was coming off of him. I usually don't take pleasure from the suffering of others but I must admit I was mega happy with Discord's current predicament. That motherfucker tried to splatter my head before he tried to strangle me. TWICE! So leave me the fuck alone.

"MARTIN!" I turned my head around and saw my friends (including Spike) standing a few meters away from me in a complete shock. I turned fully towards them and nodded at them in a greeting manner. They all looked around me and at Discord's steaming body, their eyes widening in shock. Rarity and Fluttershy looked like were going to puke at any moment while AJ, Rainbow and Pinkie looked very uncomfortable. Twilight put her hoof in front of her mouth while her face contorted with curiosity and concern.

Spike looked up at me with uncertainty while he was fiddling with his claws nervously. I stood still as I didn't want to scare him away. His eyes looked behind me before horror spread throughout his face.

"BEHIND YOU!" I turned around and saw a black object flying at me in high speed.

Next thing I know is that everything turned black and I was lying on my back. I began hyperventilating as the head and of the Gargatua Leviathan began manifesting itself in front of me. It slowly descended towards me sbefore its huge maw opened up and I was given a look into the abyss within. The size of every part of that monster was just... indescribable.

After some time, Night's face appeared in front of me. She wrapped her hands around me before she lifted me up and put my face against her shoulder while stroking my hair and making shushing sounds. She then wrapped her wings around me as well before pulling me into an tighter embrace.

I was able to calm down after some time. I took a deep breath before pulling away and looking up at Night. I saw extreme worry in her face before I rubbed mine and asked her what in the actual fuck happened.

"Discord threw a lamp post at you. It impaled itself in your abdomen and sent you flying back before it embedded itself into a wall. You immediately lost consciousness and appeared here. From there, through the combination of shock, stress and your wild imagination..." She trailed off before looking up. I did so as well and saw that the head of the leviathan was gone. "Well... that happened."

I sighed before I let my head drop back against Night's shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment before she conjured up a bed with very thick, very long and very heavy blanket. Or as heavy as large blankets tend to be. It was nice actually. Night turned me around so I would be facing her before she pulled me in again. I looked up at her with raised eyebrow while was stroke my face few times.

"Get some sleep. You earned it," she said gently.

"But what about Discord and others?" She closed her eyes for a moment before oppeneing them again.

"It seems Twilight and her friends were able to defeat discord before getting into the Ponyville General Hospital." Well that sounded good.

"So I'll be chill, right?"

"It looks like it but you really should get some sleep. You and your body both need the rest." I nodded before closing my eyes and enjoyed the warmth around before I fell asleep.

I regained consciousness before I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Said room was dark due to it being night outside. I looked to my left to see what was causing the constant beeping sound and saw a heart rate monitor. I took a deep breath through my nose and grunted when pain shot up in my abdomen.

I groaned and wrapped my hands around it while suffering through it. Shortly after the pain subsided I heard door to my right open up. I looked there and saw nurse Redheart standing there, looking into a chart. She looked up from her chart before speaking.

"Oh, you're awake. That's a good sign." She turned on the lights, causing me to jerk hard and shut my eyes shut. She came to my bed as I slowly opened my eyes to allow them to adjust. She stood up on her hind legs before taking my head in her front ones.

"How do you feel, mr. Martin." She asked as she examined my face.

"I'm thirsty," I began in a raspy vioce, "I'm tired and my stomach hurts like a bitch." Redheart nodded before taking the chart and writting something down. "That is to be expected as you WERE impaled with a lamp post." She frowned before putting the chart down and looking at me. "That being said, you're lucky to still be alive. Had princess Celestia not come when she did, you would have been in grave by now."

What? What does she mean... Night?

Not right now. But I'll explain everything when we're home, I promise.

I cleared my throat before answering, "Oh, I suppose I should... thank her. But how did the princess found out about my condition?"

"Your friend, Twilight Sparkle, contacted her shortly after you were admitted to the hospital. The doctors were able to keep you alive long enough for her to arrive and use her magic to heal you." I nodded in acknowledgment. "Ever since then, she's been making regural visits to check on you." As if on cue, the doors were opened again and behind them stood princess Celestia.

"Your Highness!" Redheart exclaimed before bowing deeply. Celestia entered the room before speaking towards Redheart.

"Rise my little pony." Redheart did so. "Would you please leave us? I wish to speak to Martin privately." Redheart nodded before taking her chart and leaving the room. Celestia looked down at me while I was looking up at her.

"How do you feel?" she asked. I told the same I did to Redheart. Celestia nodded her head before she spoke again. "What were you thinking? Fighting Discord all on your own like that? Do you even realise what he could have done to you?" She said in a stern voice. For some reason, it kinda felt as if I was being scolded by mom.

Celestia always acted as a mother of sorts to her subjects. You could say she has truly became one.

But what about me? I'm not her subject. Fuck, I'm not even a pony.

But you do live under her imaginary roof.

Weird. I smirked at Celestia before speaking.

"But everything worked out well in the end, no?" Celestia shook her head before frowning at me.

"If you call being impaled with a lamp post a good ending then yes, everything turned out perfectly." A pony princess who can do sarcasm. That's a new one. "I'm more suprised he decided to play with you instead of just erasing you."

"You could say he got... cock-y." I began cackling before pain in my abdomen made me shut up. Celestia shook ker head again but this time I saw the corners of her mouth curved just tiiiiiny bit upward.

"That might be true, however that sounds very out of Discord's character." Oh uh.

"How so?"

"When something interrups Discord's fun, he is quick to get rid of it. However you are still here. Why?" Shit shit shit. I shruged at her.

"I dunno. From what I gathered from my skirmish with him, he's fucking deranged. So I can't tell why he decided the way he did."

"I suppose he is deranged." She confirmed with a light laughter before becoming serious again. "There is something different about you as well." Oh shit. Oh shit. Nononono don't you fucking dare to figure it out.

"What is it?" I asked, trying keep my cool.

"I am not entirely certain. I felt it the moment I entered this room however. I felt it when you were on the operating table as well. It feels as if there is some sort of aura around you." I felt Night smirk at what my answer was going to be.

"I know what it is," I said.

"Truly?" I nodded.

"It's my pure, unadulterated masculinity." I began laughing loudly at Celestia's unamused expresion. "AHHH-HAHA! Kurva!" I exclaimed loudly when pain stronger than before shot up in my stomach.

"You should be careful. Your body is still wounded after the event." I nodded in agreement. Celestia sighed before speaking again. "However, I am happy you can find joy even in the dark hours." I looked out the window before grinning cheekily at Celestia.

"You know what I mean." We shared a small laugh before it was time for Celestia to go. "I should go now. Morning will be here in a few hours and I have other duties to attend to." I nodded in acknowledgment.

Celestia turned to leave the room. She stopped was at the doorstep however. She turned her head towards me before speaking. "Get well soon, Martin." I nodded in thanks before she went her way.

I waited a few more moments before letting out a relieved breath.

You think she's onto us? I asked worriedly.

If she is, she's hiding it very well. I laid there for a few moments before remembering something.

Don't owe me an explanation? I left Night sigh before spilling the beans.

I... lied to you when I said you were going to be okay.

Why? I asked sharply, causing Night flinch hard.

Because you already had enough as it was, I didn't to add more to it! I breathed out through my nose as my anger subsided.

Night. You know I don't like it when people are lying to me. Even when it's a white lie. Especially when it's my friends who do it. So next time when I find myself in a situation like I did... um...

A week ago. Wow. that's suprisingly short. That's because of my magic. Remember what I told. Magic in it's most basic form is energy. And as you know, energy fuels everything. Every phenomenon or action requires one or other form of energy.

Huh. Neat. However that doesn't change my point. When I find myself in similiar situation like a week ago, I want you to be completely and utterly honest with me. Because how am I suppose to trust you if I don't know if you're being honest or not. So next time, be honest, alright?

Alright, Martin. I promise. I'm sorry I lied I nodded before looking out of a window.

I forgive you this time but watch out in the future. It was still dark oustide so I decided to use that and rest a bit more. Now that Discord was back to where he was originaly, I could enjoy myself a good sleep.

Author's Note

If there are any shortcomingon my part, please let me know.

kokot pojebaný = fucking dick
Kurva = fuck/whore (Depends on context)

The reason why Martin was able to shoot lasers out of his eyes is because unlike with the unicorns, he's not limited to a singular part of his body. So he can potentially shoot a laser out of his dick if he wanted to. And Discord is Discord, no explenation needed there.