Why would you read this, you might ask yourself, smart-one? Well...... Probably because of the Derpy pic. Never heard of a Derpy? Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, good sir. Or ma'am if you suppose. A derpy is a type of physco pony. No. It's not. Why would it be? Don't believe me, PLEASE. I'm a physco myself and I know how a physco would look like even if I had a blindfold.
You tend to be a bit gullible.... Am I right?
Derpies are natural creatures from a place called 'Technology'. Because of their eyes that make them called Derpy, they've become quite popular and very rare. Have you ever found a Derpy? No? Well, I have. And this time trust me, I've been there someplace. Somewhere.
Still gullible? Tough hooves.
Do you know what's even rarer? It's so known to be super rare when you see a Derpy baking muffins. Even as a filly, this cross-eyed creature will capture your soul. Heart. Brain. Well, mostly your heart. Anyways... It would cuddle with you. Snuggle with you. And-anything-with-uggle with you. Wish for that, huh? Then go ahead and take a magic lamp with hoofprints on it. Magical wishes will blow your mind. Literally.
I take this very seriously. But it's very hard to do that when you have a lollipop in your mouth.
Ahem. Please my good sir. Or ma'am I suppose. Just go on and get your little fingers of what I have for you. Flip through the next page. Don't threat. I Pinkie Promise that nothing can come between you and the little blue filly who extremely loves muffins. But, before you go on, please read this:
Dear Reader,
You are about to experience the most extreme story about muffins ever. Probably not, but anyway, please shield your eyes from what you're reading. Trust me. This is nothing like you've ever seen. This. This. Is not sparta if you were wondering. I'd hate to see your eyes melt when you go through all this.
~RainbowDashLove
Get it? Got it. Now move on to the next page before I waste another few minutes of your lives. Enter the portal of Derpy-ness.
