Puss in Boots: The Philosopher's Stone

by Child of Stars

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Crossover, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure
Length: 9136

Puss staved off Death, his relationship with Kitty has never been better, and he's got a new friend in Perrito! Nothing should have gone wrong, but an old enemy and a few new ones have come seeking power. Power that threatens Puss and those he loves.

*UPDATE* - Fixing how I write stories, once I do that this story will have a lot more going on

~A Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and MLP crossover~

This is a sequel to the movie so there will be spoilers for it, you've been warned.

Puss staved off Death, his relationship with Kitty has never been better, and he's got a new friend in Perrito! Nothing should have gone wrong, but an old enemy and a few new ones have come seeking power. Power that threatens Puss and those he loves. To help defeat these foes and protect the ones he cares for Puss will have to travel far and wide in search of new and powerful allies. It's just his luck then that he happens to come across a gateway to another dimension. A dimension in which Puss will find six unlikely heroes. The question is will they arrive in time, or will their help come just a little too late? Can the legend beat the odds and save his friends? How did these two worlds collide? What is the Philosopher's Stone? And what is that ominous whistling, it sounds so familiar...

Hey thank you for the features! Featured on 1/28/23, 1/29/23, and 1/30/23

Loved the movie so much! Seen it in theaters four times all ready (And a lot more at home), so good! Definitely my second favorite movie of all time. Didn't see a full-blown crossover with it on here yet, so here's my crack at it. I hope you enjoy!

More tags will be added as the story progresses. I don't want to spoil it through the tags you know.

Published 2023-01-28 04:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-05-14 23:48:20 UTC

Prologue: Not Quite Dead

Twilight Sparkle was scared.

Now outwardly she didn’t show it. On the outside she seemed determined, self-assured, and confident. Like she was the valiant leader about to lead her soldiers into battle with a vicious beast. But on the inside, she was terrified.

She was just a unicorn from Canterlot with suspicions of a real mare in the moon. Now she was face to face with an alicorn as black as the midnight sky, Nightmare Moon herself. Sure, she had other ponies on her side who she had gotten to know a bit and even started to trust over the course of their small journey, but she couldn’t really call them true friends. She only knew bits and pieces about who they really were. She supposed she really did consider them friends if only barely. Hopefully if they all got out of this situation unscathed they could get to know one another even better.

Her adventure through the Everfree had caused her to grow at least close enough to each one of these ponies that the mysterious Elements of Harmony reacted to the spark of their fledgling friendship. Each element activated and found their respective wielder, including her after a small speech she had given to the dark alicorn of the night before them.

Fluttershy, a butter yellow pegasus with a soft pink mane, was the element of kindness.

Rainbow Dash, a cerulean pegasus with a technicolor mane, was the element of loyalty.

Pinkie Pie, a pink party pony with a curly bubblegum mane, was the element of laughter.

Applejack, a marmalade farm pony with a cowpony’s hat, was the element of honesty.

Rarity, a snow-white fashionista unicorn with an amethyst mane, was the element of generosity.

And with all of these mares acquiring their respective elements it was no surprise when upon her proclamation that Twilight Sparkle, a violet unicorn with an indigo mane that had one purple and one pink stripe in it, was made the embodiment of the element of magic.

From there everything should have been simple for the six intrepid mares. They should have been able to harness the powers of the elements. They should have been able to defeat the wicked Nightmare Moon. They should have rescued Celestia. And they should have celebrated in their victory. Everything should have been fine; yet it wasn’t.

The Elements of Harmony did indeed activate, and their magic did begin to flow. It was just in a way nopony could have expected. There were no rainbow lasers, no petrifications, and even no harmonic reformations. All that shot from the elements were some white electrical sparks and ripples through the air. The six mares were trapped, left hovering above the ground in their own elements’ magical aura.

“W-what the hay is going on!” Rainbow Dash let out in surprise. She looked at the rest of her new friends who were also stuck in the same predicament as her.

“I don’t know what’s goin’ on, but I can tell you it sure ain’t right!” yelled Applejack who struggled to even make the slightest of movements.

“Um, Twilight dear?” Rarity asked in a panic, “You’re the most knowledgeable on magic out of any of us here. Can you perhaps explain what is exactly happening right now?” The white mare tried to keep a level voice while struggling to right herself from the upside-down position she found herself in. “And rather soon if you could darling, I'm starting to get a bit dizzy.”

Twilight looked around lamely as she sought for an answer, yet none revealed themselves. Her determined mask started to slip as panic took over. What if she did something wrong? Did her magic cause this? Was she wrong about the elements? Could this be her fault somehow? Had she doomed Equestria? All were questions that swam around in her head till it hurt. Out of the corners of her eyes she could see the only two members of the group who hadn't spoken. Fluttershy was shaking like a leaf off to her left and Pinkie Pie was laughing off to her right, seeming to be the only pony who was enjoying this situation.

“I-I d-don’t,” Twilight stuttered as she failed to come up with a solution, “I don’t know what’s happening! The reference book never said anything about the elements doing something like this!”

“I know!” Rainbow suddenly shouted, startling the nearby Fluttershy even more, “This must be her fault!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at the dark alicorn in front of the group. The other five glance towards the night-themed alicorn only to see her staring back at them with immense confusion. It was clear to all that whatever was happening with the elements was not of Nightmare Moon’s doing.

“Okay, well, there has to be a ration-” Twilight started to say before being cut off as the elements started to glow brighter and hum. Then before anypony could even react to this new development the elements ripped themselves from their wielders and the air around them rippled wildly. Then in a flash, the elements released a beam of pure white energy that struck the six friends. It didn’t hurt, but the suddenness of it all caused five sets of screams and one of laughter to ring out around the ruins of the old Castle of the Two Sisters.

Then all at once a bright flash of light exploded from where the six mares were, causing a dumbstruck Nightmare Moon to shield her cat-like eyes with a black wing. When she lowered the appendage the smell of ozone was in the air, and a massive scorch mark was now in place of where six ponies once stood. It smoldered for a short time, but soon even that smoke was gone and the room was silent once more. The elements, which were still floating in the air, seemed to let out one last spark before they fell back to the floor in a clatter. Nightmare Moon flinched back at the noise before staring at the now stationary gems in front of her with apprehension.

She had done it. She had won. Now the night could last forever and everypony could relish in her beautiful night. They would all look upon the tapestry of stars she had woven with glee, and they would thank her for bringing everlasting darkness. They would never think about her sister or the sun again. They would all bow down and praise the new queen of Equestria, Queen Nightmare Moon. She would finally be happy and ponies would finally recognize her, see her. They would appreciate her and love her as they had her wretched sister. She would finally get what she so rightfully deserved after all her hard work. She would be loved.

That is what should have been going through the lunar pony’s head. Those were the thoughts she should have been having. Yet, she could not. She could not tear her eyes from The Elements of Harmony, nor could she think about anything else besides what had just transpired in front of her.

Slowly she broke out of her stupor as her lips twitched, clearly wanting to say something. If not to break the dead air, then at least to confirm that she was really there and what just happened actually happened. She parted her muzzle and hesitated, nothing came to her mind of what she should say. Millions of questions danced through her head at lightning speeds. None of them seemed to encapsulate all of her queries in one though, so none were spoken. That is until one question was pushed to the forefront of her mind, and she realized that in one simple word she could get across all her feelings. And so, with a herculean effort she forced herself to regain some semblance of control over her numb body and spoke the question that contained a million questions.

“What?”

Jack Horner was dead.

And he was a very mad boy because of it. He had it, right there in his giant hands! The power of the wish was almost his. He almost had all of the magic in the world to do what he pleased with it. But no, those cats and their stupid dog just had to go and ruin it all! This was his big moment! He was finally going to get what he was searching for-for so long! He was finally going to get what would’ve made him happy.

“This is ridiculous!” Jack said in annoyance, “Spanish splinter? Team friendship? Those are awful names! How was I beaten by stupid fairytale animals that used those kinds of names? What did I even specifically do to deserve like any of that? I should have won, end of story. The end. Put a nice little bow on it. It was my wish, the rest of them didn’t even want it! Why couldn’t they just have left me alone!” Jack was fuming as he ranted and waved his hands around wildly. Soon, however, his rant came to an end, and it dawned on him that he was supposed to be dead.

He looked down at his purple-suited body and examined every inch. It all looked to be there. He even tried pinching his skin, but nothing out of the ordinary seemed to occur. It was only at that moment did Jack take stock of his surroundings. He looked around quizzically at the infinite black void around him. A glance downwards revealed him to be standing on a black floor that appeared to have a thin layer of water residing upon its surface. Walking forward slightly caused the liquid to ripple in response.

“Huh,” Mr. Horner spoke, “Well if I’m actually dead and this is the afterlife this is going to get old quick. Because this is boring!” With his temper flaring the pie kingpin decided to take a walk to cool off, seeming as it was apparently the only thing to do.

It only took about a minute for the very small amount of novelty to wear off, “Okay, I am so totally over this whole endless void thing. Am I even actually dead or am I just unconscious or something?” he asked aloud as his voice echoed slightly in the expanse. Soon enough Jack found his answer in the form of an ominous whistle.

“Oh, don’t you worry ser humano, I can confirm your death myself,” a deep voice rang out across the void following the conclusion of the whistled tune.

“Wha?” Jack spun in a circle trying to locate who the voice belonged to, but couldn’t find anyone, “Show yourself, now!”

The ominous voice chuckled darkly, “Someone is eager to face death. And who am I to keep them waiting?” Suddenly a ring of red fire erupted from the ground around Jack forming a wide circle. With the new light Jack could just make out a silhouetted figure standing up close to the flames. He was wearing a cloak that seemed to billow in the same invisible wind as the fire.

“And who might you be?” Jack asked cautiously. He might have been quick to anger and rash, but he wasn’t stupid by any means. He knew what a bad predicament looked like when he was in one, and this situation’s flags were as red as the flames around him.

“Who am I?” the figure asked, inching closer to the baker’s boy, “I am the end of the road, the final stop before the finish line.” Swiftly and without warning the cloaked creature lunged forward and was in Jack’s face. Startled, plum thumb fell backwards onto his hands as he looked up into the face of a wolf. “I am Death.”

The edges of Death’s lips curled up in a slight smile at seeing the dumbfounded look upon Horner’s face, but they swiftly fell as a growl rose from the back of his throat. The wolf was a stark bone white with a gray mask-like marking across his face and down his snout. His beady eyes were a bright sinister red while his pupils were a pure black. The menacing predator loomed over Jack in a bipedal stance, adorned in a black cloak and brown trousers.

Quickly the crime boss regained his footing and stood back up to his full height. He was only slightly taller than the wolf, but still he tried to emphasize just how much he needed to look down at him. “You’re Death? Then why are you a wolf?! Aren’t you supposed to be a skeleton in a bathrobe or something? And where’s your scythe?” Jack questioned rapidly. He wasn’t going to be played a fool by some edgy big bad wolf. He was Big Jack Horner; he was the scariest thing in the room at all times.

The self-proclaimed death wolf only growled harder in response as red flames circled around and then engulfed his body. Jack staggered backwards in response and was horrified when from out of the flames stepped The Grim Reaper, with skeleton, scythe, and all. Said scythe was rapidly swung down inches from Jack’s face as he let out a little whimper of fear.

“Here I am, Jack,” the ghoul said hauntingly, “Death comes in many forms. What you saw was the appearance I took during my last hunt.”

Jack nervously pulled at his undershirt’s collar as sweat dripped down his face, “You know upon reflection I think I may have judged you a bit harshly. I liked your other appearance much better.”

The reaper’s appearance was engulfed by an inferno once more before the familiar white wolf reappeared, “Lucky for you, so do I.”

“Okay, okay I get it. You’re Death and you’re here to collect my soul. But where is here exactly?” the big man questioned as the wolf’s growl returned.

“First of all, this is purgatory, and second of all I’m not just here to collect your soul,” Death broke off with a huff, “If I was then we wouldn’t even be speaking right now.”

“Why?” Jack questioned.

“Because you’d be dead!” Death’s voice rattled limbo as it echoed loudly causing Jack to cover his ears. Death’s growl exploded into a harsh bark as he rushed forward with twin sickles drawn. He pounced on Jack and kicked him to the ground. With masterful control he carried his momentum downwards to land on the kingpin’s chest and bring the razor-sharp blades to his throat, pinning him to the watery floor. A small trickle of blood ran down Horner’s neck from a threatening cut carved out by Death’s tools.

“You and I are both here because you are special, Jack!” the wolf barked in his prey’s face as Jack withered under his glare. His squirming soon ceased when he realized that somehow, he was unable to move the wolf. “You are one of the most vile and cruel creatures I have ever had the misfortune to reap!” the irate wolf shouted in fury, “The way you treated your Baker’s Dozen, those closest to you, your family! The blatant disrespect for life was disgusting! You deserve some type of extra punishment before your hideous soul is dragged into the darkest pits of Hell.”

Jack was only stunned for a moment before firing back, “Well it’s not my fault if they were all so useless and constantly got in the way! And how do you even know that stuff anyway? Were you stalking me!?”

The two glared at each other for a second before Death spoke again, “Death is always watching, and no I wasn’t stalking you. My prey was actually the one who claimed to laugh in the face of death; the ‘legendary’ Puss in Boots. I just happened to notice your evil escapades while I was tracking that gato.”

“The cat is the reason I’m in this situation? What a horrible kitty! When I get my hands on him-”

“You won’t be getting your hands on him because you’re dead! I will be the last face you ever see before you take a long dip in the lake of fire, you villain.”

“Guilty as charged, but really don’t you think you’re being a bit excessive?” Jack said with a laugh, “Anyone I’ve murdered has deserved it, so I don’t think you’re being too fair here honestly.”

Death’s eyes burned with a cold rage as he spoke, “Nothing is fairer than death. It all comes for us in the end.”

“Yeah yeah I get the whole death is good angle or whatever, but I think you’re missing the point here. Just tell me one thing I specifically did to catch your ire and I’ll relent.” Jack smiled confidently as he thought the conversation was going his way. Death on the other paw had-had enough of Horner’s games.

“Your punishment has been decreed. May this reaping not be complete till every last inch of your body has been torn to shreds by my blades. Only then will you find the embrace of death to enrapture you,” Death spoke calmly before springing to life and raising his dual sickles.

“What no! Stop!” Jack cried out in a panic as the big bad wolf brought his blades down on him, intending to pierce his flesh. But Death’s blades did not connect with their target. They cut easily through thin air before striking the watery floor hard enough to crack it.

“What?!” Death raged aloud as he stood up and looked at the empty spot where Jack Horner just was. He stomped on the ground as he swung his head wildly around trying to locate his target, but to no avail. That’s when a strange yet familiar stench reached Death’s nose. It was the smell of something he loathed.

Even above a cat wasting his nine lives, above a human not caring about others’ lives, and those who try and pompously challenge Death himself. Even all of those could not compare to the hatred he bore for the foul thing he smelled. It left him unable to claim a soul that was rightfully his, and it stopped him from going after the caster of the accursed spell unless they themselves cast it upon themselves.

Death had only experienced the wicked spell a pawful of times, but every time he did it always turned into an infuriating mess. The spell he despised, it was the dreadful spell of, “Necromancy.”

Jack awoke with a shout. He was panting heavily trying to catch his breath. He couldn’t exactly remember what he had just experienced, it was like a dream. It was fleeting as only bits of it remained in his mind.

Perhaps it was a dream, but it all felt too real to just be his brain’s work of fiction. After the shock wore off Jack’s attention was quickly shifted from his frightening experience to his current surroundings. He seemed to be in an old, dilapidated castle throne room. The windows that lined the room told him that it was nighttime outside.

He surveyed his surroundings some more before questioning aloud with a confused tone, “And where exactly am I now?” A dark chuckle split the air as a surprised Jack quickly spun to face the one who dared mock him. His wild search ended as his gaze was drawn to shadows shifting upon an old throne. The throne was at the top of a balcony overlooking the rest of the throne room and where Jack currently resided.

The dark figure that sat upon the throne was cast in shadow, making it impossible to make them out. Jack still tried, squinting. The only detail he could make out were a pair of slitted eyes as the creature’s voice boomed to life.

“Welcome, Jack Horner! We have much to discuss.”

Chapter 1: Sinking Ship

Waves crashed against the side of the sailing ship with fury as it split the sea. The wooden vessel creaked and groaned while its sails whipped to and fro. The boat, belonging to a furious governor, had been commandeered to be used for a new purpose. It was now heading away from its dock and towards a new land, one known as Far Far Away. And upon its deck was carried a trio of adventurous animals known to all as…

“‘Team Friendship’?! Seriously Perrito, I cannot get over that!” Puss in Boots yelled over the sound of the turbulent sea, “I mean I don’t hate it or anything, but couldn’t we have all talked about it and come up with a cooler name?” The fiery orange cat stood upright on his hindlegs, which were securely placed within the boots of his name's sake, and paced along the bow of the boat. His black cape flapped wildly in the ocean breeze just like the feather sticking out of his black cap.

“Oh come on Puss, it’s not that bad. I think it’s starting to grow on me,” out from the captain’s quarters walked a black cat with a powdered chest and muzzle. She, like the fiery tom, also stood upon two legs as she made her way across the ship’s deck.

“Really Kitty? You can’t be serious,” Puss groaned as the she-cat reached him.

She drew a white paw up to the side of his furry face and leaned into whisper in his ear, “No I’m not. You actually think that I think ‘Team Friendship’ is a good name?” Softpaws sighed, “Give me a little more credit gatita, I just don’t want to hurt Perrito’s feelings because I’m considerate. Unlike you.” She cuffed him on the side of his head before chuckling slightly at his ferhoodled expression.

“I-I’m considerate!” Puss stuttered before casting his eyes upwards towards the pup, manning the ship’s helm, “Right Perrito!?”

A little brown and white dog head popped up from behind the steering wheel in response, “Huh? Puss did you say something?! I can’t hear anything from up here!” the dog motioned to his ears with a paw before his blue eyes lit up, “Oh hi Kitty!”

“¡Hola Perrito!” Kitty called back with a wave before turning back to Puss, “See I’m considerate and you’re not.” Kitty chuckled with bemusement at her partner’s face.

“How does that prove who’s considerate? He said hello to you, and you said it back,” the stabby tabby questioned.

“Well, he didn’t say hi to you, so clearly he thinks I’m more considerate.”

“How does that make any sense?!”

“Relax there, legend. I’m just teasing,” Kitty smiled good naturedly as she tipped the brim of Puss’s hat up and looked into his emerald eyes. “We can talk about changing it later, just let him have this for now. Besides, who knows, it may grow on you.”

“It will not,” Puss said in annoyance.

“We’ll see,” Kitty responded cheekily before flicking the orange cat’s hat down. Puss straightened his cap with a flick of the brim before appraising Kitty. The two cats stared at each other for a short while before Puss burst out in laughter. It was contagious and soon enough Puss’s partner shared in his merriment.

“Hey why are you two laughing?! What’s so funny?!” Perrito shouted from his perch.

“Nothing Perrito!” Puss managed to get out through his laughter, “Just keep steering!”

“Alright but you two better tell me the joke later!”

“Don’t worry Perrito, we will!” Kitty yelled over the sounds of the sea. The chuckling soon subsided as the two cats looked at each other fondly. Kitty’s aquamarine eyes glistened in the afternoon sun as she appraised the cat in front of her. Puss’s eyes did likewise.

“Well, shall we?” the black and white she-cat asked as she reached towards Puss with a paw.

“Shall we what?” he questioned in slight confusion.

“Go and see what exactly that pomposo governor so graciously left for us in his captain’s quarters,” Softpaws smiled as Puss stared back at her with one of his own.

“Isn’t that where you’ve been for the past few hours mi bella dama?” Puss spoke with charm.

“Don’t push it tonto. And while that is true, I didn’t look around too much. Mostly just kicked back, put my paws up, and got a much-needed break from your peludo face.”

“Hey!”

“Just couldn’t resist a little prodding,” Kitty chuckled as she spoke cheekily.

Puss’s annoyance soon washed away as he grabed Softpaws’s soft paw and started walking with her to the captain’s quarters. As a cheeky grin of his own broke out on his face. “Sure, let’s go see what the governor left us because some cat was too lazy to check it out for herself.”

Kitty gasped, “Puss! How could you!” she feigned hurt, “After all the compliments I gave you-you have the audacity to call me lazy?”

The orange tom cat chuckled as he looked back to his companion affectionately, “It seems I do.” Both cats laughed as they walked towards and then disappeared into the bowls of the ship. While up above a dog hummed happily to himself as he continued to steer the ship towards the trio’s destination.

“Oh this is just so fun!” the pup yelled in excitement, “Team Friendship is getting along so well! Man, I can’t wait to meet all those people Puss was talking about. That Donkey fellow sounded like a real riot!” In Perrito’s joyous celebration he failed to notice the skies above him start to ominously darken and billow as an oncoming storm brewed. The dog simply hummed a happy tune as he obliviously sailed forward into treacherous tides.

“Look at me! The Legendary King in Boots!” Puss shouted as he posed in front of a mirror with a golden crown laying lopsided on his head. Kitty, draped in an oversized purple robe, turned from her own mirror to look at Puss curiously. She smiled at his display before swiftly kneeling into a bow.

“Please forgive me your highness, I wasn’t aware that we have royalty aboard. I hope you enjoy your stay on our fine ship,” she finished with a flourish of her purple garbs for added effect. Puss snorted at the act before taking the crown off and replacing it with his trademark cavalier hat. Kitty stood back up and did a little salute motion to which Puss returned. The two were in the governor’s captain’s quarters and were helping themselves to all the treasures that lay before them.

The room was quite simple overall. Everything in it was mostly made from wood including the desk and chair in the center of the room, the bookshelves and chests that lined the walls, and the support beams going across the ceiling. Of course, not everything was wood. For instance, the gold trims around the room, the plush seating on the chair, the crystal chandelier, the fluffy carpet on the floor, and the huge glass window located on the back wall behind the captain’s chair right above the captain's plush bed.

The room screamed luxury; a luxury Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws fulling intended on partaking in. Since coming into the room, the two of them have kind of made a mess of the place. Books laid abandoned on the floor, chests fallen over with their contents spilled out, and curtains hung in tatters with claw marks strewn across them courtesy of Puss and Perritio. The whole trio had come in here on their first day of sailing and rummaged around, but over the course of the trip the room had progressively fallen into disarray.

They had all decided to make the quarters their place of rest when they were tired. So, at night all but one would come down to rest as the other steered the ship. Then the next night they’d trade places. Puss and Kitty both laid claim to the captain’s bed on the first night. It wasn’t a problem for the two at first due to how their sailing schedules lined up. Soon enough however disaster struck as they collided. Both were to sleep for that night, and neither would give up the bed for the other.

Soon enough though they found themselves too tired to care and decided just to snuggle together in the bed. Upon waking up the next day both felt like they had-had the best sleep of their lives while lying next to each other. From there they decided to cuddle together every night their schedules aligned. Their already reignited flame just blazed brighter as they grew closer and closer to one another over the course of the trip. So much so that the idea of marriage would often be on Puss’s mind, and this time it wasn’t something he dreaded but looked forward to. Kitty on the other paw was just waiting for the tom to pop the question. Because if he didn’t soon, she sure would.

“Kitty,” Puss started with a sigh as he always did. Sure, marriage might have been on his mind, but he was still scared to talk about it. It was a big question, you know? “Do you, uh…” he trailed off as he realized what he was doing. Puss didn’t feel the atmosphere was right. He racked his brain for a way to escape the predicament he had gotten himself into as Kitty looked on expectantly. “Do you, uh, do you want, uh…”

“Want to what?” Kitty asked silkily.

Puss was sweating. He couldn’t believe what he had almost unconsciously asked, he wasn’t ready! “U-um, d-do you want, uh…”

“Yes?” Kitty asked with a quirked eyebrow in annoyance. She knew he wasn’t going to ask; he was going to back off like he always did. And yet, she held out hope that there would hopefully be one day he wouldn't.

“Want some, uh…gazpacho?” Puss asked tentatively as the pounding in his chest went back to normal levels after the save.

Kitty rolled her eyes in amusement as she walked towards him, “Sure thing my fearless hero.”

“Alright then!” Puss yelled a bit too loud, “I’ll go fetch us some!”

“Nah-ah, no way,” Kitty said with a huff as she shrugged off her purple robe, “Not after last time.”

“What?! Come on Kitty, you know my gazpacho is good. Last time was just a fluke.”

“Sure it was. But still, I’d feel better eating it if I made it. Just in case it wasn’t, and you’ve gotten sloppy.”

“Hey! Tease me all you want but do not insult my gazpacho making skills.”

“Yeah yeah, you may have been a legend, but your cooking skills are anything but legendary,” Kitty laughed at Puss’s scowl as she turned from him to go back out the captain’s quarters and eventually into the food preparation room down below deck.

Puss turned to Softpaws with indignation “Kitty, now I don’t know what you think but I for one-” the orange cat was cut off as the ship let out a massive groan.

“Um, what was-woah!” Kitty stopped and started to say before the boat began to rock. The two adventurous cats swayed back and forth unsteadily on their feet before the ship suddenly lurched to the side and flung them to the ground. They tried to stand up only for the boat to suddenly move again and launch them into each other. They landed in the center of the room as the ship calmed back down for a moment and looked at each other. In the confusion Kitty had ended up falling on top of Puss and was somehow wearing his hat, only it was backwards. The feather tickled Puss’s face as the two sat up right, Kitty still in the tom cat’s lap.

“What just…” Kitty started before trailing off upon seeing Puss’s forehead. She hesitantly reached out and placed a paw on his head, using a finger to trace a scar. “When did you get this?” she asked in concern.

“What do you…oh, this?” Puss responded as he carefully removed her paw, “It’s a reminder of what I once was and a reason to respect life. I got it from my first encounter with Death, back in Del Mar after I fought that giant I told you about. It was there the whole time on our journey to the wish; I’m surprised you only noticed now. Assumed you just didn’t want to say anything about it.” Kitty frowned as she inspected the wound. Puss meanwhile stealthily slipped his hat off of Kitty’s head and placed it back on his own, covering the scar.

“I guess I didn’t see it because you had your hat on for most of the trip. And I was kind of preoccupied by other things at the time,” Kitty said solemnly.

Puss lifted her chin up with a finger to look her in the eyes, “Don’t be sad, there was nothing you could have done about it. Besides I don’t really care if you notice a scar on my forehead or not. Not really an issue, unlike that.” Puss finished speaking by looking up, after following a shadow, and pointing. Kitty was confused until Puss continued to lift her chin until she was looking up just like him.

“Oh,” was all Kitty said as she looked at the chandelier above their heads, hanging from the roof by a thread.

“That probably would’ve hurt a lot if it had fallen on us,” Puss pointed out the obvious.

“Yeah, and it still could,” Kitty responded.

“We should move, shouldn’t we?”

“Sí.” The two then got up slowly and carefully backed up before looking back to each other and laughing. Then the boat lurched again causing the two of them to slam into each other. They hugged onto each other as they waited for the movement to stop, then once it did they broke apart and walked out unto the deck of the ship.

“Perrito, what is-!” Puss started to say as he cast his gaze to the ship’s helm only to be cut off as Kitty tackled him over. A massive wave crashed into the ship’s deck right where he had just been standing. He flashed Kitty a quick smile before they both got back up and rushed up the ship’s stairs, holding onto the banister for support.

Reaching the top of the steps they ran over to Perrito as he struggled to control the ship’s wheel. The weather outside had worsened considerably since Puss and Kitty had walked into the captain's quarters. It was raining heavily, and the wind whipped wildly to and fro. The sea had grown unruly and turbulent, its gray waters matching the dark and cloudy sky. The ship’s sails flapped wildly threatening to tear themselves from the mast. Various loose ropes were flung about in the wind as anything unsecured to the deck went back and forth across it. And as the boat leaned to the side Puss saw a cannon hit the side of the ship hard enough that it broke through the railing and fell into the murky depth below.

“Holy Frijoles!” Puss yelled as Perrito turned to speak to him. But whatever the dog tried to say was drowned out by the sound of thunder as lightning lit up the sky. “What Perrito?! I couldn’t hear you!”

“I said I’m sorry!” Perrito yelled over the raging storm, “I swear everything was normal and calm! This storm just came out of nowhere!”

“Perrito, can you steer-” a thunderous crash from above drowned out the rest of Kitty’s words but Perrito could easily guess what she was trying to say.

“No!” he screamed over the turbulent tides, pulling on the steering wheel hard, “I’ve been trying to get us out of here, but I think we’re stuck in some kind of whirlpool! The ship won’t stop going left!”

“Well maybe we could-” Puss cut himself off as he spotted a huge wave cresting over the ship’s bow. Quickly he grabbed onto Kitty and Perrito and pulled them to the ground, covering them with his cape. The wave came down hard, pummeling the trio with water. When it finally receded, Puss stood up and looked at his two soaking friends as they all coughed out sea water. All three of them stood there for a moment panting before the vessel rocked to the side and refocused their attention back onto the helm.

They all rushed forth and grabbed the steering wheel trying in vain to pull it to the right. The wheel struggled and stayed in place for a moment before gaining a new burst of energy and violently spun to the left. The spoke the three adventurers were holding onto broke off the wheel with a snap as they all tumbled to the left and the ship turned.

“I thought you said the weather was supposed to be clear!” Softpaws yelled over the wind to Puss while trying to untangle herself from the pile of cats and dog.

“That’s what the guy at the dock told me!” Puss shouted back as another wave crashed on the ship’s deck spraying the three with salty water.

“Well, it seems he was wrong!” Kitty screamed back as the three got back up on unsteady feet.

“Clearly!” Puss hollered back, “Remind me to never trust random guys’ on docks weather reports ever again!”

“Uh, guys!” Perrito called to the two felines over the storm as his gaze was transfixed by a swirling mass of clouds in the sky.

“What?!” both cats yelled in unison as the storm only grew in intensity. They saw Perrito staring up into the sky, so they followed his gaze and were transfixed as well. There in the sky, surrounded by a swirling mass of clouds was a pulsing ball of crackling white energy as bright as the sun. The white sphere seemed to grow larger as it fed on the storm's energy and grew off its power.

“That’s probably bad,” Puss simply said as the other two nodded in agreement. The boat was hit with another massive wall of water that caused it to move suddenly and throw the already unsteady trio off their feet. Kitty fell backwards on her rump as Puss fell forwards and over the railing. He fell to the deck below and landed hard on his side. He grunted in pain and opened his eyes looking up only to see a horrifying sight.

“Perrito!” He screamed as he saw the yelping dog fall overboard and into the dark ocean below. He rushed to the side of the ship and looked over the banister to see if he could spot the pup, but to no luck.

“Puss!” he heard Kitty yell out as he looked up to the steering wheel and saw her looking at the sky once more, mouth agape. The tom followed her gaze and saw the massive white energy ball had grown to an absurd size and looked ready to burst. Worst of all they seemed to currently be entering the eye of the storm, right under the energy ball.

“Oh no,” was all Puss could say before the humongous ball of light broke open and shot a beam of energy straight down and into the ship. It was obliterated in an instance as chunks of wood and debris exploded into a beautiful shower of splinters.

“Kitty!” Puss screamed as he was flung into the air before crashing into the cold sea below. He sank like a rock at first in the confusion before he managed to right himself and swim to the turbulent surface. He spit out water as he floundered on the surface fighting hard to stay afloat. He looked around wildly as he searched for his friends but couldn't find any sign of them. In a panic he didn’t notice a cannon ball heading right for him. He looked up too late as it hit him square in the chest and pulled him under the waves.

It pinned him down as he struggled to move it in his haggard state. But a determination to live and see his friends again combined with an adrenaline rush gave him the strength to move the black ball and swim back to the surface again. He broke the waters in a fit as he looked around for something to grab onto.

He saw a small plank from the ship’s hull nearby and swam for it. He got there as lightning struck next to him, hitting what remained of the sinking ship’s mast, blinding him for a moment. The crash of thunder was deafening as Puss became disoriented. But he quickly cleared his head as he grasped the plank and hauled his upper half onto it.

He breathed out a sigh of relief as he just sat there for a second panting. Water dripped from his soggy hat and onto his face, but he barely registered it in the ocean’s fury. It was a drop in the bucket compared to everything else. Once he had calmed down as much as he could he tied the end of his cape to a nail that was stuck in the board, just in case he let go for whatever reason.

With that task complete he turned over and flopped onto his back, looking up into the cloudy sky. He sat there for a moment wondering where it all went wrong before noticing a small black speck in the sky. He squinted, trying to make the object out only to realize it was getting bigger. The realization almost hit him as hard as the chandelier did, but before he could process anything more, he found himself only seeing stars as he was knocked out cold. His last waking thoughts lingered on his friends as he hoped they were safe.

Chapter 2: Secrets and Dreams

“It’s Big Jack Horner!” the irate pie kingpin shouted back up at the mysterious figure.

“Oh, well please excuse me for this grievous error. It won’t happen again,” the shadowy figure assured with a chuckle. Jack eyed the thing warily as he stood up and flicked back his waist coat in indignation. He was in some sort of old run down castle, that much he was sure of. Where in the world he was or who was this creature speaking to him however, he did not know.

So, the most logical thing to do was ask, “Where am I and who are you?!”

“Ah yes, very important questions indeed,” the dark shape responded, “However I will not be giving those answers away for free. You must earn them.”

“Earn them?” Jack asked, “And why would I-”

“BECAUSE I RAISED YOU FROM THE DEAD!” the dark shadow cut the kingpin off with a howl, “So, I think I should be deserving of a little of your respect at least.” On one hand Jack was stunned. If what the creature said was true then he really had been dead and that dream wasn’t a dream, it was real. On the other hand Jack seethed, how dare this thing yell at him like that?! He was THE Jack Horner, no one yells at him like that! If only he still had his magical nanny bag, then he could just reach in and pull out his-

“Weapons. Your weapons I return to you,” the entity spoke calmly once more as Jack’s bag appeared in front of him out of thin air, “At least I assume this bag is yours, it had your aura all over it.” Jack looked down at his bag and then back up to the shadowy figure before looking at the bag once more. Without much more hesitation he dashed toward his bag and quickly scooped it up, gripping it tightly to his chest. Swiftly he unlatched the bag and reached in, wrapping his fingers around the nearest object and pulling it out. The staff glowed with purple energy as the bakers’ boy pointed the shooty end at his savior.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about or who you are, but if I were you, I’d choose my next words very carefully,” Jack said as his magical staff hummed menacingly.

The shadow smiled sardonically as fangs protruded from their mouth and glistened in the oppressive moonlight. “I would settle down if I were you, Mr. Horner. I raised you and I can send you back just as easily without much effort. All it is-is just a simple switch in the spell’s composition, and you're sent straight back to Tartarus.”

“You know those are some pretty good words,” Jack admitted as he lowered his staff a bit, “Mind if I steal them to use later if I’m ever found in this very specific situation again, only I’m the one in your position?” The shadow only arched an eyebrow at his words. Jack was internally debating whether he’d be able to shoot the shadow faster than it could cast its spell when a sudden thought hit him, “Wait hold up for a second, you said you brought me back to life right?”

Intrigued, the shadow leaned forward in their throne and responded, “More or less, yes.”

“Okay, okay. So why did you do it? What gives!?” Horner asked.

“Impress me and I’ll tell you," The shadow responded simply.

“Impress you?!” Indignation once again flared up in the pie guy’s small heart, “How?!”

“Don’t die.”

“What?” Jack asked incredulously. All too soon the shadow’s statement became clear as a thunderous crack shook the castle and a defending roar soon followed in its wake. Horner turned on a dime and looked around wildly trying to find the source of this new horrifying sound. His eyes fell upon shadows coalescing on the floor behind him. The shadows grew and grew as the beast took shape growing four massive legs, a pair of wings, and a crooked horn. A wide maw filled with sharp black teeth ripped apart its head in a grotesque display while two white orbs blinked to life on its head.

Jack took one look at the creature, shook his head, and reached for his bag, “Really, a shade? That’s the best you can do? With this ba-” Jack stopped as his hand felt nothing but empty space. He quickly looked down and saw his bag missing.

“Your bag would make this fight too fair. Live up to the stories that have been told about you. Beat it with just your staff and wits and you’ll have impressed me enough,” the shadow said, letting out a dark chuckle.

“Oh come on!” The bakers’ boy yelled in aggravation as the monster in front of him fully formed. It towered over him, a huge creature made even bigger by the wings flaring out on its back. They locked eyes, and for one moment all was quiet. A bead of sweat rolled down Horner’s face and the shade’s tongue lolled out the side of its mouth, saliva running down its jaw and pooling on the floor below.

Jack Horner: most feared criminal in all the lands, leader of the Baker’s Dozen, the pie kingpin of the world, and the ruler of the biggest criminal empire…

…Was absolutely terrified.

He gulped and prepared for the worst, “Oh, boy.”

The sound of running water reverberated throughout the lush jungle as its fauna swayed in a light breeze. A peaceful tranquility pervaded through the interlocking network of trees, bushes, and vines as life bloomed all around. Fruit flowers opened, insects buzzed, and creatures crawled, seeming to make the jungle come alive. It swayed and moved like a multicolored ocean. The calm babbling brook lazily flowed and foamed while fish drifted down beneath its surface without a care in the world. The scene was the definition of peace, something that could calm anyone down. Anyone, except for one orange cat who ran right past it in a panic.

The jungle was a green blur to Puss as he ran for his life. He didn’t know how long he’d been running or what he was running from; the only thing he knew for sure was that no matter what he could not let it catch him. His arms swung from side to side as he panted heavily and ran over roots, through bushes, and under branches. He couldn’t stop. He had to keep going and try to find something he had lost, but what was it?

In his panic he had forgotten what he’d been searching for before the chase had begun. He ripped his mind apart looking for an answer but in doing so lost his focus on the path ahead.

“Ahrgh!” he cried in surprise as his foot got caught on a root. The resulting fall sent the marmalade cat into a roll which had him come to a stop in the middle of a dusty clearing. “¡Ay, caramba!” Puss shouted as he swiftly stood back up holding his slightly bruised hind leg in his paws. It would heal, faster than the blow to his ego would anyways.

Puss put his leg down and dizzily looked around trying to take stock of his situation. The tumble, having disoriented the adventurer, caused the sense of danger to lessen as Puss instead turned his attention to trying to figure out what he was supposed to be looking for. It was dark, furry, and it was something important to him. He racked his brain for the answer, it was on the tip of his tongue! There were two of them, he cared for them a lot, and they were in danger. The answer eluded the tom cat once again as he strained to think as hard as he could. They were a team, they traveled together, and they both had names. Yes, the answer was right on the tip of Puss’s tongue!

“My friends!” Puss yelled jubilantly, “Kitty, Perrito! Yes, that’s who I was looking for.” But why was he looking for them and did his mind say they were in danger? Quickly Puss’s wits came back to him as his eyes widened and he looked back into the spot of the jungle he had tumbled out of. Just barely in time to jerk his head and avoid a deadly collision with a multicolored-horn-of-death.

The baby unicorn horn flew by Puss’s head, taking a small bit of fur with it, and lodged itself into a tree behind the orange kitty. Puss stood shell-shocked for only a second before his brain restarted and he quickly dropped into a roll to avoid the oncoming volley of horns that followed the first. Puss dodged, ducked, and weaved as he just missed being struck by the horns’ deadly tips. Soon enough the gato once again found himself on the run as unicorn horns came flying at him from behind.

He ran swift as lightning away from a pointy demise and through the greenery. His booted hind paws thundered against the earth as more horns whizzed by his furry head. He leapt over fallen trees, ducked under low hanging branches, and deftly maneuvered over streams. But no matter how fast he went the horns kept their pace with him, and the foliage around him only seemed to get thicker. Soon enough the calm jungle had become a hostile place that started slowing the tom cat down as leaves smacked into his face and he tripped over hidden roots.

Puss knew that his current plan of attack no longer seemed viable. While the trees and vines slowed him, his horn-slinging-attacker seemed only to hasten their barrage with each passing moment. He quickly thought of a way to avoid impalement, and while it was a dangerous gamble Puss decided to take it. He sharply turned to the left and dropped down to run on all fours and give himself a speed boost. The jungle around him started to shift as the orange tabby continued his rush forth.

Somehow, Puss knew this would happen. So, when the transformation was complete and the jungle had become a desert, he wasn’t fazed at all. With only open sands in front of the cat it was a straight shot away from his mysterious attacker. Puss would’ve just kept running too if it wasn’t for the sudden shimmering of a small dune next to him. Struck by the oddity of the situation the cat stopped in his tracks and gasped when the sand fell away and revealed his friends underneath.

“Kitty! Perrito!” Puss was elated at the sight of his missing companions and rushed over to them in a flash. As he neared they only got further away, confusing the adventurer. He slowed his advance to see what would occur, only to witness them move even faster away from him. “No, wait!” the tom cat yelled as he began his chase again in a panic. However, no matter how close he got he could not reach his friends. He ran and ran, exerting all his energy in a futile chase that left him collapsed on the sand in a heap. Puss panted and tried to pull himself back up only to fall over again.

Puss rolled over and looked up at the black sky, another oddity that he paid no mind. He just miserably sat up and glanced across the dunes in front of him. It was just in time to see a unicorn horn fly right at him. He closed his eyes in acceptance but never felt the impact. Curious, he opened his eyes and was greeted by a horrifying sight. Perrito and Kitty were standing in front of him skewered by the hideous horn. Tears fell from Puss’s eyes as he reached forward towards his friends as a low whine escaped his lips. But before he could even brush against their fur they were engulfed in red flames, burning away their bodies.

“No! Give them back to me!” Puss cried in anguish as he toppled over. A dark shadow slowly crept up from behind and fell over him, causing the failed hero to whip his head around and face his attacker. Through his blurry tear-filled vision, he could just barely make out the silhouette of a tall figure with arms ending in curved blades. Red eyes glistened from below the creature’s darkened brow as it glared at him with malicious intent.

“Puss in Boots,” it said in a garbled yet recognizable voice, “What’s wrong? Lives flashing before your eyes?” The entity’s maw opened up to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth while a dark chuckle split the air. Puss couldn’t respond, he was frozen in shock. Even as the creature raised its curved forearm he didn’t move. Even as it swung down with the blade he sat still as a statue. And even as his body was torn apart in a painless death he didn't move. He just sat there as the world around him faded to black.