Bumbaclot's Adventure IV - Butt Mark Bumbaclots

by Feefle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Apple Bloom, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Scootaloo, Random, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Sweetie Belle
Length: 1010

Bumbaclot can't fall asleep because of a strange noise he hears outside.

Bumbaclot hears a strange noise outside, he's not sure what it is. Well, when he finds out, he ends up playing dentist with Derpy and the characters in question.

Published 2012-09-24 17:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-24 17:44:02 UTC

Chapter 1

The adventures of Bumbaclot IV - Butt Mark Bumbaclots by Feefle

KERRSPLAT! It was three o'clock in the morning at Her's place and Bumbaclot was having a hard time falling asleep. The sound outside that was spelled out at the beginning of this story was preventing him from voluntarily rendering himself unconscious. Since Her's house was also a library, he thought it would always be quiet and easy to fall asleep in. But this was not the case.

Her slept like a stone due to yesterday's chicken nugget TV marathon that knocked her out silly from the alarmingly high amount of salt, fat, and poor television programming she had consumed in such a short period of time.

"What in blue heck is that noise?" Bumbaclot asked himself. KERRSPLAT! He opened the window and looked around. He noticed Derpy was sitting on her giant pickle jar in the distance, staring directly at him. Then all of a sudden, Bumbaclot got tackled by what felt like a big slab of fat. He and the unidentified fat object slammed into Her which cause the entire house to shake.

Bumbaclot opened his eyes and all he could see were three tiny poners standing on top of Her's chunky body. It was the butt mark bumbaclots, Appleploom, Scooterloo, and Sweetie Beller. Her was still asleep because the chicken nuggets struggling to be digested were keeping her from waking up.

"What in the name of all that is blue and esoteric are you doing making so much noise in the middle of the night?" asked Bumbaclot. The tiny poners just stared at him with their enormous dilated pupils. Bumbaclot got up and noticed Derpy appeared right next to him. "Oh no not again..." muttered Bumbaclot. Derpy opened her mouth and engulfed Bumbaclot with it. She then spat him out with only his underwear.

"That was totally awesome" exclaimed Scooterloo. She then threw herself out the window and smacked the side of Derpy's giant pickle jar with her head. She then bounced into the giant pickle jar which was full of fresh brine.
Appleploom smiled and said "Ah wanna play dentist! Derpy will be our patient and Bumbaclot and Sweetie Beller can be my assistants." "BUT I DON'T WANNA BE THE ASSISTANT" yelled Sweetie Beller as she ran into a wall knocking down all of Her's books on top of Beller, forcing her to explode.

"I don't want to play any games with you girls, I want to be doing what Her is doing right now." Appleploom looked at Her, Her started twitching and shouting "PEEP!" every few seconds. "Okay then, I guess I don't want to be doing that." corrected Bumbaclot. Scooterloo threw herself back inside through the window, she drank one heck load of pickle brine.

"I am butternut squash" proclaimed Scooterloo as she fell into Her's cushion-like backside and fell asleep. This gave Bumbaclot an idea, but before he could do anything else, Appeploom grabbed him and threw him into Derpy's mouth.
"We're gonna play dentist now." she demanded. Appleploom grabbed Sweetie Beller and rocketed into Derpy's gaping maw. "This is going to be a long night." Bumbaclot whispered to himself.

It was very dark and rancid inside. Bumbaclot could never get used to her mouth which smelled like garbage and cinnamon. He could see some caveman drawings on the roof of her mouth, one was of a tiny poner swimming in a pool of ketchup and the other was a tree growing out of a watermelon.

Appleploom spotted probably the nicest looking tooth. "See this ugly looking thing? That is a tooth with a cavity. Bumbaclot, hand me those industrial grade pliers specifically for tearing steel to pieces." said Appleploom. "What pliers? We didn't bring any tools." replied Bumbaclot. Appleploom stared at Bumbaclot like was a stubborn moron who had never gone to school or wiped his own butt. "You're supposed to pretend." she answered.

Bumbaclot proceeded to make car revving and tire screeching noises as he pretended to hand over the industrial pliers to Appleploom. "Sweetie Beller, I need you to pretend to hand me something important so you don't look useless." asked Appleploom. Sweetie Beller got up, then slipped on a taste bud and fell on her face.

"Close enough" smiled Appleploom trying not to burst out in uncontrollable laughter which would cause Derpy great distress. Imagine someone laughing in your mouth.
Appleploom grabbed Derpy's tooth and started pulling it out with all her might. Derpy made faces no man had ever seen, too bad everyone was either inside of her or asleep.

With one final pull, Appleploom ripped out Derpy's perfectly healthy tooth. Derpy's face looked like the aftermath of a long horrible war. "We got the nasty tooth out, now onto the next!" screamed Appleploom as she threw the healthy tooth into Derpy's throat. Appleploom asked Sweetie Beller to help her pick out a tooth, at this moment Bumbaclot quickly snuck out of the mouth and approached the nose.

Bumbaclot got stuck in her nose halfway through. "Oh no, I'm stuck. Derpy, could you sneeze or something?" Derpy looked around trying to find something that would make her blow her boogerload. She looked at Scooterloo who was a pegasus that possessed wings. "I will fleurbunpalembang" said Derpy as she ripped off hundreds of feathers from Scooterloo's wing.

Derpy proceeded to stick the feathers into her eyes. She then sneezed which caused Appleploom, Sweetie Beller, and Bumbaclot to go flying out the window into the giant pickle jar. "Mmmmmmmmboogers." whispered Derpy. Bumbaclot drank a big load of brine just before he threw himself back into the house. "Oh wow I feel like I'm going to--" Bumbaclot dropped next to Scooterloo and fell asleep.

Appleploom and Sweetie Beller drank the rest of the brine and fell asleep in the empty pickle jar. Derpy sat there for about an hour, and then finally looked out the window. She got very angry because now she had to go get more brine for the pickle jar. "MmmmMMMMMMMpeanuts" she snorted.

The End