Ah, lunch time! Where I can eat a questionably colored, flavorless chicken sandwich, and some spoiled milk. I grabbed a tray and got in line behind some lady with pink, puffy hair and started making my way down the line. Just as I was about to get that really questionable chicken sandwich, the girl beside me put on some… ears? I think they were pony ears at least. She started to then start slightly tapping the counter with her tray, which kinda sounded like a light kick drum. I scratched my head, but didn’t question it.

I started going to school here about… a week ago and mostly kept to myself. I know that there was something called the Fall Formal, which was some big, fancy event everybody was talking about. It happened on a Saturday, which is cool, I guess. I didn’t pay attention to it though, since some girl named Sunset Shimmer pretty much had the thing in the bag. And it just sounded like some big school event that wouldn’t be fun to go to. I have absolutely no friends yet, since everybody stays in their own groups, so I stayed alone. It was just easier, and I wasn’t really ever good at making friends. So I usually poured all my time into my studies to make up for the crippling loneliness.

Also I only know about the Fall Formal because my headphones died during the announcements regarding it. Some other students were apparently responsible for reading the announcements out, so I’ve yet to hear the principal’s voice. I also haven’t seen either of them because I tried my damned best to avoid them.

No, I do not want to tell you how my day is going, Principal… fuck, I don’t even remember her name.

Boy do I know how to solve basic algebra though.

In the corner of a room, some speaker started playing a weird… instrumental that went along with the beat that the girl next to me was making with her lunch tray. A bass guitar started playing in the track as the girl beside me started skipping towards the center of the cafeteria to meet up with some cream-colored haired, cowboy hat kid while singing a song. “Hey! Hey! Everybody! We’ve got something to say!” I started bobbing my head, since these five girls weren’t too bad at putting on a musical number.

Well, so much for getting that shitty chicken sandwich. Oh well, my last two classes are study halls, so I might as well use this as an opportunity to sneak out of school. I snuck around the perimeter of the room as the pink haired girl, and some purple, curly haired kid opened the doors. Some girl with purple hair, wearing the same ears as the other five girls walked in. I’m assuming that’s the Twilight they were talking about. Whatever, it’s not my problem!

Wait, that was the girl that was running up to the school building on all fours earlier? Like some sort of horse or something?

Cool.

I snuck past who I thought was Sunset Shimmer, who was peeking into the cafeteria from one of the side entrances and she looked kinda angry. Well, I think Sunset might be a bit mentally insane, since she seemed to be dead set on getting that crown you get from the Fall Formal, and that’s the sort of individual I don’t want to be around. Didn’t Flash, some popular kid I keep hearing about, date her? Man, that must suck, to date somebody so mentally unstable. Well, they did break up after a week apparently, so maybe Flash isn’t too much of an idiot.

I snuck out of the building through the front door, which was surprisingly easy by the way, but I guess the principal and the vice principal knew of my scheduling and chose not to bother me. I mean, I’m doing really well in my classes even without needing a study hall to complete my homework, and I got two of them back to back at the end of the day. It’s really fun, since here I am, getting ready to loiter against the statue in front of school like I usually do. I haven’t been able to do it in the last two days, because of a group project I had to do on my own, but now I get to loiter until my brother comes and picks me up.

I was excited, because today was a Friday, and that meant quality brother bonding moments… as in me and my brother go out somewhere, get food, and then hang out until curfew. It’s one of my favorite times of the week, since my brother is usually really busy with school work, because he’s in some advanced digital arts school, so I rarely even get to see him when he isn’t busy with some big project for school.

Without a care in the world, I went to lean up against the statue and started screaming as it sucked me in and I blacked out.

Ugh… my head. Where the heck am I? My vision is really blurry and my head hurts. I rubbed my head with my… where are my fingers? I checked my hand and… it’s a hoof, with a few holes in it. My hooves aren’t hurting from the sizable gaps in them, but I have hooves! Where are my hands? I slowly sat up and I have four legs! What the heck is happening? How in the world do I go home? The room was completely dark, but from what little I could see, this looked like a storage closet of some sort, so maybe I can find somebody and ask them about going home.

I stumbled around the room, as I can barely walk, until I bumped into something. I made it to the wall! Now to just… find the light switch and get the heck out of this closet. It was kinda hard to do, since I didn’t have hands to constantly feel the wall with, so I rubbed my side up against the wall until I found something that felt like a light switch, so I used my head to try and turn the lights on and… wow this place is huge.

What kind of closet was this? It was bigger than mine and my brother’s bedrooms combined, and it seems a bit unfair that this closet is so damn big. In the center of the room was a mirror that I could use to get a good look at myself, but I don’t think I could really walk over there anymore. I have become very accustomed to this wall to make up for my lack of a center of balance. I braced myself and finally stopped leaning on the wall. With a new found confidence I started making my way over to the mirror with a lot more-

I tripped and fell over after three steps… today was going to be a long way.

The double door clicked and opened and… six, no eight ponies walked into the room, chatting to each other about something(probably long before they entered the storage closet. I don’t know what they were talking about) and all stopped as soon as their eyes landed on me. I stared at the horses while they stared back, but none of us made a move to really try and do anything. The colors of these horses were really weird. Also some of the looks these guys were giving me, not the most inviting thing in the world.

The first two I immediately noticed, because they were significantly taller than the other five, took my attention first. One of them was the tallest horse in the room, with a nice, clean white coat of fur. She(?) had wings, a horn, a rainbow colored mane that took physics, killed them, and threw them out the window. As the mane was flowing in a wind that didn’t even exist, since I highly doubted wind would be blowing in through the imaginary windows of the closet. The two things that stuck out were a crown and some sort of necklace-collar mashup which were made out of(what looked like) solid gold. So chances are, this one was a horse of great importance. Her face was… kinda hard to read, like her eyes were seething with anger, but her face was completely neutral.

The next one, who was the second tallest had a midnight blue coat, with a similar flowing mane to the first one, but with what looked like the night sky in it. She(?) also bore wings and a horn and a crown and collar. The crown and collar looked like they were made out of obsidian, which made them shine and sparkle like the night sky usually would out in the country. She was kinda pretty looking, if it weren’t for the glare she was giving me. Like, if looks could kill, I would be a pile of ashes right now.

The third tallest was pink, had wings and a horn, and had less flashy royal wear compared to the other two, but it was there. I think it was another female, actually all these horses looked like females to me, but I’m no horse expert. Her expression was probably the most scary looking, since she looked ready to bite my face off. I don’t know how effective flat, grass chewing teeth would be at tearing my face off, but I don’t want to know or find out.

Before I could get a look at the other six, the midnight blue one broke the silence. “What is a Changeling doing in here?” What is that? Is that some sort of clothing brand here? Apparently these guys wear shoes and jewelry, so if these guys wore clothes, I wouldn’t be surprised. Why am I glowing? Oh god why the heck am I floating? “Tell me Changeling, what is your queen planning? If you do not, I will-”

“Luna, you are not going to kill this Changeling. We know not of its motives, or if it is even related to the queen that invaded during Cadence’s wedding,” the white one said. “For now, let us put it in the dungeons and question it later. We have more pressing matters at hoof, such as waiting for Twilight to return. We could use her better judgment when dealing with these Changelings.” Uh… what?

“But sister, it will only try to escape.” A ring of some sort poofed out of nowhere and it started to levitate over to me with a faint, yellow glow. I am not liking where this is going. I really do not like where this is going at all. I could speak and try and spare myself, but if there is one thing I have learned from watching really terrible interrogation scenes, it’s that talking only gets you into trouble. So it’s best that I remain quiet until whoever this Twilight shows up.

The ring went on my head and I don’t know what it did, but I’ll roll with it. Whatever it takes for me to not become a bloody pulp on the wall, I will take and I will take it in full. So if these ponies want me to wear a weird ring, I will wear a weird ring. As long as I get home before curfew, my mom will kill me if I don’t. Well, she won’t kill me, but she’ll give me this sad look that really makes me rethink life.

This is going to kill her.

I was unceremoniously dropped on my butt(which kinda hurt a lot) in a prison cell and promptly left alone. Well, I wasn’t chained to anything, but I refuse to even attempt escaping. I can barely walk, so what can I do if one of those horses finds me again? I’m not an idiot, I can tell how strong on these horses are, they had larger biceps than the Terminator does, and they could probably pop my head off like it was nothing. Also these guys had some sort of telekinesis, so fleeing was a horrible idea, and probably impossible.

Plus I don’t think I'm going home any time soon. I stomped my hooves on the ground as soon as I realized what this meant. I’m livid now, because I’m missing out on the ‘guys night out’ that I was going to have tonight! All because of what? I was a ‘Changeling’ that was ‘dangerous’? Like I was found, face planted, and barely even capable of standing! How am I a threat?

Well, I might as well be productive and get used to my new body. Even if I’ll get sent home after all of this is said and done, I might as well be able to walk without tripping every five feet. So I stood up and took my first step and nearly fell over. I braced myself and took another step before toppling over. I growled at my failure- how did I do that? Aren’t I a horse? Well, I’ll wonder what I am when I’m let out of this prison cell.

I got back on my feet(or should I be saying hooves now?), and took another step. My legs weren’t shaky or anything, so I assumed that they could easily support my body weight, it just turns out that walking is really hard to do with four legs, no feet or big toes for support, and with a completely different anatomy from the human body that I was used to. I took another with a smile of glee before taking another slow step, and another!

I picked up the pace as I slowly began to break into a trot, remembering how dogs usually trotted and tried to mimic that. It failed miserably the first couple of tries, but I kept on going at it. I’m on the real life grind of relearning how to walk, that’s right, I’m a god! I can trot and run now, fear me, mortals… What am I going to do now? I suppose I can keep walking in circles, it was actually kinda fun to try new, stupid ways to walk now that I can remain on all four hooves!

I laughed in pure glee as I began to run circles in my cage. It was like I was seven and running through the potato farm’s fields again! I was alone, nobody to keep watch over me for some reason. So how I acted here on my lonesome. Wow, walking was actually getting easier! Man, I cannot wait to tell Sean when I get back home! We’ll have a laugh, he’ll show me some new video project he was making for school, and then I help him film it by being an actor in it.

I ran circles for five hours straight.

God damn, I am bored. Maybe I should make sure I’m actually awake now that I’m over the excitement of being able to walk again. So I licked my teeth and found out they were fangs! What the fuck am I? Some sort of xenomorph? Like whatever I am, then yeah, good on those horses for locking me up because I must be some sort of freak! Like, I’ve got hooves, a snake like tongue, and fangs!

I can’t wait to look in a mirror.

Well, I sunk my teeth into my hoof and flinched at the sharp feeling that elicited. Okay, so I now know that I have fangs, some sort of exoskeleton, and that I probably still have a long, long while before anybody bugs me. So I got bored and started chipping at the floor with my teeth, because I guess I’m just that bored today. I managed to chip a sizable chunk of the floor out and started rolling it back and forth really quickly until it eventually became a ball. Wow, whatever this stuff was wasn’t durable at all.

Oh well, now I got something to play with. Wow, me a highschool freshman, playing with a rocky ball that I made out of nothing. I pushed it back and forth between my hooves, gnawed on it, hugged it, and even used it as a pillow. I don’t know what else I did with it, it all became a blur… and now I’m really sleepy. How long has it been? My cell doesn’t… exactly have access to any windows for good reason.

I would’ve liked some sort of clock to tell me the time, though. I woulda had my phone, but my backpack kinda disappeared as soon as I entered the portal. Welp, I might as well go to sleep.

The next day… was pretty uneventful. Some guard came by, threw a loaf of bread at me, and gave me the stink eye. So I decided to just… remain quiet for the rest of the day while I slowly gnawed on the stale, old, really terrible bread. As an Irish man who has had some french bread, this is a major step down, but I am also a prisoner for… breathing?

Anyways, I don’t think these horses would hand me gourmet bread, but at least they were willing to feed me. I kinda wanna speak to that white horse again, mostly because she spared my life, and I wanna thank her for that. I mean, she coulda killed me, or let me get killed, but she intervened and stopped me from dying a very deadly death.

Yes I know, deadly death is repetitive, but I am really bored, so leave me alone.

I think I’m going insane. That has to be the only explanation for what is happening right now, and I want to- fuck it, I’m going to take a nap.

“Wake up, you fiend.” I blinked a couple times, sat up, and began rubbing my eyes as soon as a familiar voice rang in my ears. I lifted my head up from my hooves and my teeth clacked when my jaws shut. Damn, I must have way, way stronger jaws than before. My vision was still kinda blurry, since there was now light that my eyes needed to grow accustomed to.

“Well? Are you going to rise and face me head on? Or do I have to make you stand?” Oh, it’s the midnight blue… what’s the name for a pegasus and unicorn mix? I don’t know, but the horse from yesterday, the one that wanted to kill me, was glaring down upon me. I stood up, but kept my eyes squinted while my vision finally cleared up. “Oh? You dare have the audacity to glare at me?”

“No,” I said quietly. “It’s just… hard to see after being left in a dark cell for… however long it’s been.” The… unipeg looked shocked, like the fact that I could speak at all was a surprise in and of itself. Wow, whatever I was must’ve been considered low on the whole intelligence scale in this world. “Can I go home yet? My brother’s probably missing me.”

Luna(I think that’s her name) opened her mouth to speak, but the door opened again and I began to hear a couple of voices. Like a conversation that had started long before the door had been open for me to hear them. They were still kinda muffled, but I could make out what they were saying.

“So who is this pony you wanted me to meet?” Oh hey, that sounded like the girl from the cafeteria yesterday. Another fucking horse(she was like purple!) walked in alongside the white horse from yesterday, and said horse sounded exactly like that Twilight kid from earlier. Oh boy, her jaw was hanging, which is definitely a good sign! I am going to die. “How… Did a Changeling get into the Crystal Empire? Didn’t they get blasted away at my brother’s and Cadence’s wedding?”

“Hey… can I go home? I was supposed to be home by eleven or my mom’s gonna kill me. Heck, she’s probably worried sick about me,” I almost whispered. Fortunately for me my pleas didn’t go unnoticed, and all three horses’ attention snapped onto me. “Why did I even get locked up? I know I’m some sort of freak, but I haven’t done anything other than trip over myself when I got arrested.”

The purple one rubbed her chin. “Tell me, what do you remember before… being arrested?”

“Well, I left school early because I had two study halls for my last two class periods. I was gonna wait for my brother to pick me up so we could go hang out after school, and then woke up in a closet after leaning against the closet. I don’t even know what I look like right now, but I’m assuming I’m some foul, hideous creature judging from how I have fangs, a horse-like body, and an exoskeleton.”

“Uh… oh dear,” oh god. Why were all these three staring at me like this? Did I do something wrong? The purple one was… wearing that crown that everybody was going wild over back at home. To the point where six people sang a whole song about helping ‘Twilight’ win the crown. Oh hey a mirror-

Oh, that’s what I look like now. You know, I look even worse than what I imagined I would’ve looked like. Staring back at me was a horse-like face with bug eyes, fangs, and no mane. The eyes were big, blue and almost lifeless. As expected, my entire face was covered in a black exoskeleton. I had a horn of some type that was thinner than the horns of any of these horses, but mine was probably a bit sharper, Well, with a face that not even my mother could love, I can probably guess that I’m some sort of parasite.

“Oh that is disgusting,” I almost choked when I saw my tongue move as I spoke. Oh god, that, what the fuck am I? Is that what a Changeling looks like? “So, is there any way to… make me not an ugly bug horse, and then send me back home?”

“You… might be waiting a thirty moons.” The midnight blue one was looking… regretful.

“Wait. Why aren’t you guys immediately disbelieving my story?”

The purple one rubbed the back of her head as she gave a nervous laugh. “Let’s… just say that you might be stuck in Equestria for a while… what’s your name?”

“Dathi, but you can call me Nogla.”

“Nogla,, I believe you because I was in your world, I know where you’re from. And the way back to your world from here just closed last night.” I could feel my stomach drop as… I think this was Twilight, like the one that people were saying ‘let’s help Twilight win the crown’ Twilight. I sighed, did my best not to cry, and took a couple deep breaths. Okay, I am calm.

“Okay, how long is thirty moons?”

“About… two, two and half years,” the blue one said. My eyes widened at that... Jesus christ that’s almost all of highschool! I’m going to miss out on so much... God why do i have to get screwed over all the damn time?

The door to my cell swung open as the white one, if I remember correctly, is named Celestia, immediately rushed me. Instead of kicking my head the hell off my shoulders, she knelt beside me and laid a wing over my back. This… was oddly comforting. “It is not good to keep your frustrations bottled up, Nogla,” wow, she suddenly sounded like a mother comforting her child when they’re scared. That’s a nice change in tone; it’s very comforting.

It was very relaxing, actually. I rested my head on Celestia’s shoulder and began to relax a little. Maybe these next two years won’t be too unbearable if I have somebody to help keep me from feeling depressed. Oh fuck, oh my fucking god! When I get back, Sean will be off at college somewhere! I rolled over and immediately started crying into Celestia’s shoulder.

She didn’t even complain about me staining her fur with my tears.

“Princess Celestia, I… you do realize what Nogla being here implies, correct?” I lifted my head up to face the purple one. I assume Celestia had shook her head. “Nogla is still technically a child. I did some minor research, and ‘highschool’ as humans call ‘advanced school’ starts at fourteen at a minimum.”

“Well, we shall arrange where our friend can stay while he remains in Equestria. I wouldn’t mind keeping him during these next couple of years, and I’m sure Luna would love to keep a child around the castle again, as well. And it would be best if I were to keep Nogla due to… most ponies having a rather strong opinion about changelings.”

“W-what do y-you guys mean by that?” I was shaking from how much I cried.

“Well…”

Okay, yeah, that sounds like a legitimate reason to hate Changelings. First encounter with Changelings and it’s an invasion on your country’s capital city during a really big wedding. It was kind of intriguing to hear what my… ‘kind’ has done in the past, almost to the point where I almost forgot my current situation. Luckily, Celestia had continued to literally rub my back while I got over my emotional turmoil.

Luna, had eventually had enough, literally shoved her sister aside, and started to actually try and groom me to help me relax. Surprisingly, it did help out a lot, and was very… relaxing. By the time she was done, I was feeling so much better. I felt… kind of happy, surprisingly. Then I was offered to join these three princesses(as I had learnt over our little conversation) and their friends for dinner.

My stomach growled upon being asked.

Holy shit this place is really fancy. Like I know this is a castle and all, but I can’t help but marvel just how… sparkly and grand everything felt. Every little bit of the wall was spotless, there were guards every few intervals, and there were the occasional politician that walked by us as they moved from one meeting to another. Said politicians stared at me the whole time as they passed, so that’s pretty neat.

It made me keep my head low. I really, really do not enjoy the attention. Even if it’s positive attention, I simply do not want it. So you can imagine just how happy I feel when I can see how angry somebody was at me simply being around their princesses, but then knowing how they feel because that’s something I can do apparently.

“So… Changelings usually kidnap ponies to steal love, right?” I asked, just hoping to fill in the silence with some kind of noise.

“Indeed they do, why do you ask?”

“How hard would it be to just… have a Changeling get into a genuine relationship with a pony?”

“Well, if a pony were to completely disregard any prejudice against Changelings for what they have done, then I do believe it would be quite easy. Unfortunately, we do not know much about Changelings as they have been the stuff of legend and folklore for the last millennium,” Twilight’s smile got creepily huge. “But! We can learn about their physiology from you!”

“Oh uh… I dunno about that.”

“May I ask why?”

“Back on Earth, usually we humans get our information on animals in two ways. Either we watch them, or cut open a dead animal. I don’t know how you ponies do things, but I don’t… I don’t want to get bisected even if it would help you guys make huge advancements into what the heck I am. I love biology, but I don’t like being studied.” I scooted closer to Celestia, an attempt to get away from Twilight(she did apologize for frigthening me), without even realizing it until I accidentally bumped into her and made her trip and as we entered the… I think this is the dining hall at least.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” I rushed to Celestia’s side to try and help her up, which she almost accepted, if I weren’t immediately pinned to the ground.

“Get away from Princess Celestia, you freak!” My vision cleared up from the trauma and didn’t really like what I saw. Glaring down at me was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. “How did you even get out of your cell-” A pale light engulfed the pegasus and she was lifted off of me. “H-hey! Princess Luna! Didn’t you see that bug try to suck your sister dry of love?”

“That Changeling was merely trying to help my sister up. There was nothing malicious at play, Ms. Rainbow.”

I sat up and groaned. “God, some of the football players at school would kill to tackle that hard,” I grumbled. My back hurts like hell, my head hurts a bit, and Jesus Christ, what does that horse eat? Like she was putting her full body weight on my chest and my ribs were still protesting from having so much weight being placed on them like that! I limped over to Celestia, who was still lying on the ground, but not in the ‘I tripped and can’t get up’ way and helped her stand up. “Sorry about tripping you, Celestia. I really wasn’t paying attention-” my mouth was slowly closed by a yellow aura.

“Don’t worry, Nogla. Accidents happen. What matters now, is that you know that you could walk underneath me and be have enough room to break into a trot. Granted, I will get tripped again, so do refrain from doing that again.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Why did we let that Changeling out? Is it mind controlling you three?” Rainbow asked.

“Can I control people? Like, mind control? That seems… fucked up on so many levels. Like what kind of sick fuck would do that? Well, aside from the one lady that mind controlled Twilight’s brother, but even then, that lady was kinda… off the door hinge if you ask me. Like feck, I don’t want to even imagine making somebody do something against their own will.”

“Well, theoretically you can do that, Nogla. The only evidence we have that Changelings can do that, is the one incident of the Changeling Queen controlling my brother.”

Oh god... I don’t want to mind control anybody.

So, introductions were made, and Princess Celestia and Luna had explained the whole situation. The whole time, I was allowed to sit under Luna’s wing. By that, I mean Luna made me sit here, and it was quite lovely. Rainbow Dash apologized for attempting to beat the hell out of me, and even got to say hi to these five… mares? That’s the right term, I think. As it turns out, these mares, along with Twilight Sparkle, were pretty much living embodiments of these artifacts called ‘the Elements of Harmony’ which is pretty neat.

Food was served, which was really just a salad… oh look a potato! Well, maybe this place wouldn’t be too bad to be stuck in. As an Irish man that likes mashed potatoes, I am very happy to see potatoes in my salad. Granted, I wish I had some ranch dressing for my salad, but when I asked, everybody looked at me like I just asked them what ‘seven X equals nine Y squared. So I just started munching away at my salad with a fork. Surprisingly, using a fork and knife with my hooves wasn’t too much more difficult than using actual hands with fingers to grab things with

“That isn’t the right fork,” Rarity, the Element of Generosity said.

“There’s like sixteen forks. What’s the problem if I use my soup fork instead of my salad fork? If it gets food in my mouth, then it does the job.”

“You know, I never got why some noble nearly a hundred years ago decided that we need a specific eating utensil for specific dishes,” Luna took a sip of her tea. “Though I don’t think I’ve heard of a soup fork before. Are utensils called different things in your world, Nogla?”

“Oh no, I once went to some fancy restaurant and was told that there was a fork spoon by one of the staff. It just seemed so stupid to me that it got stuck in my head ever since,” I stuck one of my many forks in the water. “Like how are you going to enjoy tomato soup if the liquid falls off your fork before you can stick the fork in your mouth? All that’s gonna do is get tomato soup all over the table and make a mess. Then you’ll be sad because that’s a good tomato soup you can’t eat unless you drink directly out of the bowl, which then also spills some soup.”

“I think you might like tomato soup,” Celestia chuckled.

“Oh I do, got some at that fancy restaurant and wasn’t given a spoon, but a fork to eat it with. I got kicked out for spilling too much soup on the table right afterwards.”

“But… they didn’t give you a spoon for your soup,” Twilight pointed out.

“Exactly. Rich people are dumb!” Everybody snorted.

The doors opened up and two ponies, the pink unipeg from yesterday, and a white unicorn walked in and it looked like they were arguing like a married couple until they spotted me. “Why is that Changeling out of the dungeons?”

“Hi, I’m Nogla. I’m a freak, I like potatoes, and tomato soup. I also fell out of that mirror you found me next to a couple days ago. Can I get your name?”

“Auntie Celestia, is… what that Changeling saying is true at all?”

“Of course. Apple Jack has yet to say anything about Nogla, the Changeling, lying and I believe him. Say hello to your new cousin, Cadence and Shining Armor, by the way, since myself and Luna will be Nogla’s caretakers until he can return home.”

Cadence and the Shining Armor expressions said it all! Those were priceless! Their pupils shrunk and their jaws were hanging! Cadence was the first to recover and trotted over to where I was, still under Luna’s wing. To make our meeting nice and pleasant, I took the biggest chunk of potato I could find in my salad, and swallowed it without chewing. Somehow, I didn’t choke. “So, your name is Nogla… sorry if I offended you in some way, and sorry about our meeting earlier being… not the most friendly encounter ever.”

“Oh no, I get it, I’m ugly as fuck, lass. I’m just surprised you’re actually willing to talk to me so quickly.” Cadence blinked at my language.

“Well, it would be nice to finally have a cousin that isn’t Prince Blueblood. Even if your language is a bit... crude.”

“Oh dear, I nearly forgot about him,” Celestia said while Luna began to gag.

“Sister, do tell me how that… fool is related to us again.”

The doors slammed open and some tall, white stallion with a really nice mane walked in. “Nogla, I would like to apologize on my nephew’s behalf before he opens his mouth.” Oh god no.

“What is that cretin doing in here, Auntie Celestia?” Who I assumed was Prince Blueblood asked while pointing a hoof at me. “It’s not even using the right fork for its salad, and it’s a Changeling! Those things are foul, foul creatures that should be executed on the spot!”

“My nephew, execution as a practice was outlawed as a punishment two centuries ago,” Celestia said.

“For Equestrian citizens-”

“Oi, can you shut the fuck up, mate? Feckin’ hell, nails on a chalkboard sound more pleasant than you. I will agree, I am pretty stupid looking, but your mane looks like something my school’s janitor would use to mop shit off of the bathroom floor with!” Everybody in the room gasped. Well, Rainbow snickered, and Luna just started smiling. Cadence giggled behind a wing.

“You best not swear in my presence, you beast! You have insulted me greatly with such remarks and profound language!”

“Quit using big words to make yourself seem smart, you fuckin’ dumbass. I get it, your mama didn’t hug you enough, and you want to become- fuck it, I’m just going to shut my mouth,” I rested my head on Luna’s shoulder. “And enjoy the rest of… it’s lunch right? I don’t know what time it is.”

“Are you going to back down, you coward? I bet I can beat you in the ring, you insolent fool!”

“So Luna, what does being the Princess of the Night imply?” Luna’s small smile quickly turned larger as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Well-”

“Hey! I’m right here, you idiot!” Prince Blueblood snatched me up in… I think that’s magic. Or it’s voodoo, which is still magic. “You are going to listen and listen well! You have insulted me, my family name, and the royal bloodline! So I challenge you to a duel!” I got slapped across the face by… I think that’s a glove, but it could also be a sock. “Meet me in the ring after dinner!”

“Man, I was really hoping to hear what Luna was going to say, but this weird be-” Blueblood punched me in the face and I yelped while holding my nose. “Yowch! That stung!” Surprisingly, my nose didn’t immediately break, and Blueblood was shaking his hoof. Man, exoskeletons are great! Why didn’t humans develop these things over the millions of years we’ve been around?” I was immediately swept up in a yellow glow while Luna started speaking, like not screaming, at a level that made my head hurt.

“Blueblood! You are to return to your room and not leave until the Princess Summit is over!” Luna opened the doors with her magic and actually threw Prince Blueblood out of the room. She then glanced at me. I guess Luna wanted to seem mature, because right after she said, “And what do you have to say for yourself? You played a hoof in instigating that!”

“I’m Irish, we just say what’s on our minds. And I quickly realized what I had to say was gonna make things worse, so I tried to end the conversation there. Ma’ told me that I should try to drop an argument if it wasn’t going to go anywhere. So I did that with Blueblood.”

Luna’s tone changed almost immediately. “Well, I shall commend you for at least attempting to disengage with my nephew. And I will admit, it was entertaining to see somepony actually insult my nephew to his face.”

“Are you hurt, Nogla?” Celestia asked while she began to inspect my nose.

“Nah, I think Prince Blueblood hurt himself more than he hurt me.” Celestia still planted a kiss on my nose. “Gah! No!” Everybody laughed as Celestia then continued to ‘kiss my boo boos away’.

(Prince Blueblood was in the castle’s infirmary, checking on his now cracked hoof)

Author's Note

So, for those reading this before it is fully published, thank you. Any and all feedback would be nice since for once, I am trying to make something coherent and decent.

also came back and made very, very minor edits.