Poke…

Something was poking me, at a very early hour in the morning, and it won’t stop.

Poke…

“Nuh, go away,” I grunted.

“Nogla, it is time to get up. Our train leaves for Canterlot in two hours,” it was Luna, she was the one poking me. “Well? Will you wake up, or do we have to drag you out of bed?” We…? Well, I suppose I must check out who made up this ‘we’ with Luna.

I opened my eyes to see Luna standing at full height, staring down at me. Surprisingly, she stood several feet taller than the bed itself, which made sense, now that I think about it, because of how tall she is. Celestia was… also present, but she was just barely poking her nose above the bed, with one of her hooves(unshoed), extended over the bed, and was mere inches away from my nose. Even from here, I could tell that she was smirking, which was nicely hidden by the bed.

It was pretty funny and adorable.

“Boop,” Celesita squeaked as her hoof made contact with my nose. “Come on, Nogla, do you wish to be left behind?” She then lifted her head up and rested her chin on the bed. “If you wish to still sleep, we can carry you, you know. And trust me, you do not want to be flown across the Crystal Empire while on mine, or Lulu’s back.”

“But the train leaves in two hours… couldn’t one of those two hours be spent on me getting some extra sleep?”

Luna giggled. “Unfortunately, that cannot be. You’ve yet to pack up your belongings.”

I sat up and groaned. “But my backpack is packed up and everything!”

Luna opened the bag and placed a book on the bed. “Now it’s not.”

You are evil, Luna, very evil. I love you- wait what? Where the heck did that come from? Well, it hasn’t been over two days, but Luna is kinda like a big sister to me now… I want to keep her.

I rolled onto my belly and put the book back into my backpack. “Fine, I guess I’ll wake up now.” Celestia let out a triumphant, princess-like squeal while Luna gave me a shit eating grin. I rolled my eyes and hopped off the bed, this time without my legs giving out from the impact, and went to the bathroom to do my morning routine.

Do business, brush teeth, hop in the shower. It was done way quicker since now I could use my magic to brush my teeth while on the toilet(I could even rinse thanks to me being able to move water with my magic when I spit it out), and hopped in the shower after doing all the fun stuff. I sang a stupid little song, one about a lion waiting to be a king, and hopped out after five minutes.

I stopped to look at myself in the mirror again, and sighed. I almost forgot that I wasn’t some sort of bug horse that was a completely hideous freak, that most of the natives of this universe, will not welcome warmly. Even if my new body was as old as when I was back at home, it wouldn’t matter judging from how some of the ponies treated me yesterday. Chef Brutual Moose and Sergeant Map Marker were both very nice to me, while those two asshats guarding the Crystal Heart weren’t so nice.

Well, hopefully today will go better than yesterday.

We didn’t really have a lot of time for breakfast, as I was just handed a couple of breakfast burritos, while Luna and Celestia got entire trays full, before we were off on our way. Before I even began to complain, I quickly realized that my adopters likely needed more food than I was. They were like twice and Thrice my size respectively, and needed more food as a result.

Also, alicorns had bottomless pits for stomachs, since Luna finished all seven of her burritos in five minutes. And she wanted more!

I had just deposited my bag, which carried my breakfast, in a nearby trash can, while we all walked along. Unsurprisingly, we had guards, but… I had four guards compared to the Sisters’ guards, which were two per Royal Sister. Well, I guess that makes sense, I’m magically and physically weaker than my adopters, but do I really need guards? Like who thinks I’m important?

Luckily, Blueblood had been sent to the train station way ahead of us,
so we won’t have to deal with that dickhead for a while.

“Wow, look at that. A changeling tried to invade the Crystal Empire and it’s gonna pay the price!” A random earth pony pointed at me, and began to whisper to one of her buddies while several other ponies pointed, stared, whispered. It was… not comforting to say the least. If we weren’t in public, I would ask Luna to hide me under one of her wings while we walked, but one of my guards had taken notice of my discomfort and nudged the other guards. They whispered something that I couldn’t here... Oh god what are they-

Before I knew it, the guards around me got closer, and actually obstructed the view that the oncoming ponies had of me, and kept them out of my sight. Granted, I can still hear the whispers-

“Earplugs, your highness?” One of the guards then promptly offered me some orange… Well, earplugs. “Or would you prefer a set of earmuffs?” Another asked. These guys were very accommodating, way better than the two Crystal Guards that were guiding the Crystal Heart. Ten out of ten, give them a raise! Heck, four of them even looked like they felt bad for me!

Sympathy!

“I’ll take the earmuffs if you don’t mind… Earplugs are a pain to get in your ears just right.”

“I couldn’t agree more, sir, but earplugs are more efficient and effective once adjusted.”

“So what are your names?” I asked.

“My name is Sharpened Dagger, or Sergeant Dagger if we are going by titles. I will be your primary guard, and your backup caretaker should Princess Celestia and Princess Luna not be available.” Wow, that’s… kinda saddening. I’m not that important, or worth guarding… Well, the thought of giving me a few guards to keep me safe was nice, so I’ll have to thank Lulu and Celly later; they seem to actually care about me.

“Here are your earmuffs, sir,” one of the unnamed guards said-

Before I knew it, one of my guards had slipped the earmuffs onto my head, and adjusted them so they’d cover both my ears… and wow, I can’t even hear my own hoofsteps. They were snug and comfy too! I nuzzled one of the guards, who froze for only a millisecond, and a tiny little smile stretched across their face. The other guards stared at the slightly happier guard, before also smiling after I gave them nuzzles. What? They helped me out, and I was thankful!

It didn’t help that I knew that ponies were talking, but I could pretend I that I didn’t know they were taking about me much, much easier now.

The three of us had entered our private train car, that’s when my borrowed earmuffs disappeared, and I put myself next to Luna and Celestia. The train car we were in was really nice, like it was like a full blown office. From a little desk, to drawers, to feathers to write with. Desk lights were screwed into the desk, and there was a noticeable amount of sun and moon paper weights…

It was cozy even if it was a bit too pink for my liking.

“You do know what you did when you nuzzled all of your guards, correct, Nogla?” Celestia asked.

“No… did I do something bad?” I asked, leaning up against Luna, since the chairs were pretty much just giant bean bags, which made cuddling way easier… Why the heck do I want to cuddle? Well, it was nice, and Luna was pretty warm and pleasant to lean against. She was like a big, dark blue, heated pillow.

“You pretty much just kissed them. Each one,” Luna answered. “It’s not too taboo, and some of the guards seem to enjoy your showing of appreciation, which is a pleasant surprise to myself and my sister, but nuzzles do essentially equate to kisses.” Luna then nuzzled me in between the ears.

“But… can’t it also be used as a form of showing thanks?”

“Well yes, but Nogla, you pretty much just kissed your guards,” Luna smirked.

“Oh… Maybe I should go ahead and learn pony body language, huh?” I could feel heat rising in my cheeks.

“Worry not,” Celestia said, taking out a textbook on the subject. “This train ride will be rather long, so my sister and I have decided to use it wisely, and teach you the basics of Equestrian body language.”

“For instance, nuzzling is a more public version of ‘making out’, as young ponies would call it, or kissing,” Luna said. “Another thing, a pegasus laying a wing over another, is a form of endearment; you do it to those close to you if you are a pegasus.”

Luna had then laid a wing over me for an example… and nuzzled me again. I felt… safe.

“But.. you guys do that, and you’re not pegasi.”

“No, but we are alicorns, which is a combination of the three tribes, earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi.” I… have a lot to learn. “And not just by physically, but by minor things such as body language, to how our bodies work. For instance, while our bones are very tough like an earth pony’s bones, they are also hollow to allow myself and Luna the ability to fly…”

“But isn’t flying supposed to work via magic? Why would your bones need to be hollow?”

“Oh? Have you been studying?”

“Kinda… I found a biology book in the Crystal Empire’s Castle Library, and read it in my room while I was alone.”

“I feel like you and Twilight would get along.”

“If she likes studying biology then we will.”

“She might, Twilight does simply love learning about anything new,” Celestia mused.

“And to answer your question, Nogla, yes, flying is mostly magic based for ponies. So why our bones are hollow, I am not sure. Rest assured, this is mostly unimportant information compared to understanding body language to a basic extent.”

Okay, so asking about cutie marks is seen as very rude, unless speaking to a close friend, and so is staring at cutie marks. I guess it made sense, since cutie marks essentially defined you as a person(I don’t get to have one because I don’t get to register as a person), and can be a very personal thing for many. And you know, they were on said ponies’ butts, so staring at them would be kinda weird and perverted.

But for the most part, aside from nuzzles, everything seemed to fall in with human body language. Such as hanging your head, kissing, slumped shoulders(or wings depending on if the pony doing it is a pegasus or alicorn), and hugging.

There was a few other things to note, such as horns of unicorns being used to perform ‘horn kisses’, and also being used to share memories if one of the unicorns is heavily skilled in magic, or is actually an alicorn who will have more than enough power to perform such a thing.

Also putting stuff in your mouth to hold was pretty normal(and I assume ponies evolved in such a way so sharing spit doesn’t get you sick or something), because, unsurprisingly, walking around on three hooves is pretty awkward to do for even the most coordinated of ponies. Pegasi often use their wings as makeshift arms so usually they carry stuff in their wings, and unicorns carry stuff with their magic, but if they have something in their mouth, it’s normal.

Also, washing your hooves. You don’t need to wash your hooves before eating. It also isn’t seen as disgusting to not do so, unless your hooves were actually covered in shit. Ponies have really good tolerances to the bacteria you can pick up by just by walking around apparently, so washing your hooves just wasn’t necessary. Well, Luna and Celestia didn’t say that, but it was safe to assume that.

I’m still washing my hooves though.

Speaking of, royalty, or specifically princesses. Currently, there are four known princesses, all of which I have met. In alphabetical order, Cadence, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight Sparkle. Usually each princess wore horse shoes, with the exception of Twilight Sparkle, a collar/necklace type of thing, and a crown. While Cadence and Twilight are not seen as gods, Celestia and Luna basically are, and have acknowledged such. Also Alicorns tend to excel in terms of power due to having an earth pony’s stamina to fuel an already very, very strong magic pool.

Alicorns also excel in specific ‘realms’ in relation to their cutie marks.

There were cults for the Sisters, apparently. Heck, other nations worship Celestia in particular, since she can raise the Sun, and has lowered both the Moon and Sun for nearly a millennium in Luna’s absence. Luna, to her enjoyment, prefers to not be seen as such, even if her own people still basically worship her.

Also, it didn’t apply to me, since I was a prince, I was supposed to speak to the Princesses in some form of respect(even if said Princesses would rather be talked to like normal ponies, which they were if you ignored their life spans and powers). Also, stallions found females with longer legs and stronger rear ends to be very attractive. So logically, every other stallion in Equestria wants to court, or marry Luna or Celestia….

Also, somebody might have tried to marry Cadence for similar physical features that stallions love, only for them to get into a shouting match with Shining Armor. And a couple broken legs when said stallion tried to grab Cadence’s butt… Shining Armor did not take that lightly, and Cadence wasn’t happy about it either.

Dude, why would you try to sexually assault a princess, a princess, who, by default, can outmatch you in terms of magic(and raw strength Cadence is fucking jacked. Not really, but she looks to be pretty fit) while literally being married to a war horse? Did you want to die for some reason, or are you stupid?

Also seeing stallions date more than one mare isn’t uncommon, due to there being a three to one birth ratio of females and males. How did that apply to me? I dunno. Not my problem; I won’t be dating anybody while I’m here.

After Celestia and Luna had given me a rather fun(like it was very fun), engaging body language lesson, Celestia had opted to begin working on paperwork while Luna napped. So I was just left to my own devices, literally. As it turned out, I can very easily operate a Nintendo 3DS with magic way better than I can with my hands… and it was still fun. Granted, I have to use this thing sparingly, since I don’t think I can charge this thing when it dies, and I would like to enjoy Super Mario 3D Land as much as I can in the next three years.

Ah darnit, it’s already orange! God, how long has it been since I… oh right, I charged it at the beginning of this week, because I didn’t expect to be in a magical pony land. I saved where I was, which was right before the first castle level in the first world, and closed the device. Well, so much for killing a fake Bowser again for bagging the Princess. Also, the next time I’ll get to play this thing will probably be next week, when I can charge this little bugger. Those are high hopes, but still, I hope I can charge this thing while I’m stuck here.

I closed the 3DS when suddenly it was engulfed in a yellow, magical hue. “What a strange little device,” Celestia said, putting down what looked like a budget of some sort, which I had promptly taken up into my own magic while she began to inspect the device, even magically disassembling it, and reassembling it perfectly(it even turned on like nothing had happened to it). Well, I can’t blame her for being curious, but it would be nice if… Nah, I wasn’t doing anything with it anyways.

I think she just wanted an excuse to have a break from those demon squares for a bit. What? Rectangles are squares.

This budget… Wow, it looked way more complicated. Funds to schools, infrastructure, all that fun stuff. I slid it back into the demon spawn that was Celestia’s paperwork, when Celestia was seemingly playing‘Super Smash Bros. on it; I heard Yoshi being KO’d out of existence. The Solar Princess cocked her head to the side. “What… just happened?” Celestia spun the screen around to a victory screen… How the heck did she learn how to play that game on her own? She just beat the highest level CPU with like… five minutes of playtime.

“You just played a video game, a pretty popular one from back home… How’d you uh… figure it out?”

“Well, it came with instructions, which I skimmed through, and figured out that certain buttons on this device do certain things. So I checked which buttons did what, and tried out this ‘video game’. It’s quite amusing to say the least; I could see myself or Luna getting addicted to this, which is why I shall…” She paused and looked at a now blank screen. The 3DS just died in her hands- hooves. Her hooves.

Celly’s eyes widened and her ears flattened against her head as she frantically looked around the device for any external damage, unassembled it, looked for internal damage, before perfectly putting it back together. She found nothing wrong with it.

“Oh dear!” Celestia pressed the power button with her magic. “I didn’t mean to break it!” She began to mildly panic over the little thing. It was actually kinda adorable, how her eyes were so damn expressive… Very adorable, if she weren’t my adoptive mother, I would squish her face. “I am so sorry! I know this must be of great importance to you and I-”

“Celly, the battery’s dead. The 3DS just needs power…” Celestia began to inspect the thing and hummed.

With that, she zapped it with magic, and it turned back on, like it had just been fully charged. “Did… that fix it? I made it so it can never run off what looks to be electrical energy,” Celestia then floated the device over to me. She let out a relieved sigh.

“Yeah, it’s as good as new… you polished the screen by accident too.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, I’m just surprised you did all that with one spell. It’s like it’s brand new.”

“Well, I did… snatched up that little device without asking, It was… the least I could do. I’m not used to asking… Okay, I am, but usually nopony complains when I wish to inspect something, so I may have developed the habit of simply looking before asking… I swear, from now on, I will ask for your permission before I inspect anything…” She then lifted me up in her magic and started sniffing my cheek.

“Uh… what are you-” I was deposited under one of Celestia’s wings.

“I was inspecting your cute, little face.” I blinked a couple times, if I think my cheeks were pink now… Even if I disagreed with that sentiment that I’m adorable(I’m ugly). I’m just going to sleep.

Soft Sun Pony, very warm, very comfy, very cozy. I sleep now.

Where… Why am I in a cave? Wasn’t I just… just with Celestia?

Okay, I do not like how there is a swarm of blue, Changeling-like eyes staring at me from every dark corner of this cave. Where am I? Why am I…

“Well, well, well. A Changeling in Equestria that is not from any Hive… You lack any defining features of other Hives, or my own…” What the fuck? Did I get kidnapped while there were two alicorns in the same train cart as me?

Meanwhile…

“Look at that cute little bug,” Luna hugged Celestia. “Thank you for allowing me to keep him! It may not be a pony, but I am quite excited to be able to look after a child for the next three years!” The Moon Princess began to pout.

“What is it, Lulu?”

“Why are you hogging our child? It’s my turn to hold him while he naps!” A light blue bubble, along with a golden one, engulfed Nogla’s head while the two princesses began to prepare for a shouting match.

“Because I have nicer fur… Messy Moonbutt. And I’m warmer.” Celestia shouted. “Nogla will have a much better nap if he uses me as a pillow.”

“How dare you-” both princesses stopped as Nogla squirmed and wiggled in his sleep. Luna’s horn lit up as soon as she closed her eyes.

So… Now I am staring face to face with a Changeling that is roughly as tall as Celestia, if not a little taller if you count horn height. “Well? Are you going to answer to your new Queen? Or shall I begin the introductions?” The voice from this bug was layered, like there were multiple of… whoever this was, speaking at once at different pitches. “I suppose I shall begin… My name is Chrysalis, Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Southern Badlands Hive, and I am here to meet you, my little ‘ling. And I have come with great news!”

“What?” Oh… that didn’t ring a bell. You see, Twilight didn’t give me a name for the Changeling Queen that had fucked Canterlot’s shit up. I assume that this was the same Queen at least.

“I will be meeting you in Canterlot to annex you into my Hive, I’m sure you will find Changelings to be much more accepting of you than those damned ponies. I’m sure you’ve already seen what it is like to be on the receiving end of their cruelty.”

“Actually, yeah, I have. Quite a few ponies treat me pretty badly, but Luna and Celestia are very nice. They’re even giving me a place to live while I’m stuck in Equestria…”

“Sunbutt is merely using you to appease her sister, and they will throw you at at the slightest chance that you slip up.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that. It was clear that Celly and Lulu cared about me, you could almost say they love me like I’m their own child, but I’m not entirely sure if they would throw me out if… whatever instincts I have as a Changeling makes me hurt anybody.

“Chrysalis, do not, and I repeat, do not poison that child’s mind.” Luna… oh yeah, dream walking.

“And how are you certain that you will not throw out Nogla at the slightest slip up?”

“Changeling, remove yourself from Nogla’s dreams, or I will remove you myself… If you make an attempt to kidnap, harm, or kill that drone in any way, I will personally ensure your Hive’s demise. Understand? In fact, if you come anywhere near Nogla, I will introduce you to Nightmare Moon personally, she won’t be happy to meet you, by the way. I am also certain Daybreaker would enjoy having a word with you before she burns your Hive to the ground.”

Who… is Daybreaker? Before I knew it, the cave I was in had quickly been replaced with a meadow. It looked like something I would happily prance around in. “That was the Queen that invaded Canterlot. She matches the description from several eyewitnesses at the very least.” Luna answered that question before I could even ask it. “I assume that will not be the last we see of her, so I expect to have… some undesirable guests.”

“What does Chrysalis even want with me? I can’t really… transform, or do anything really other than think and breathe.”

“Well, she probably wants revenge for sending her, and her Hive, flying across Equestria after her plans to take over had failed. And taking you from Celestia and I would make us very angry.” Luna looked off in the distance and her ears twitched a couple of times. “We’ll be arriving in Canterlot in about five minutes. Do you wish to keep sleeping? Because my sister and I are more than willing to carry you.”

“I’ll wake up. I kinda want to see what Canterlot is like.” Luna nodded and the meadow collapsed into nothingness.

Chrsalis turned one of her drones. “Allow our new hivemate to settle in... Kevin!” A Changeling quickly bowed and saluted to his Queen. “Once... Nogla, what an odd name for a changeling, has settled in, I want you to go around an impersonate him. Do whatever you can to antagonize him, commit murder if you must. Just pretend to be Nogla and cause damage until the princesses reprimand him.”

Kevin nodded, not even really sure as to what the heck, or who the heck a ‘Nogla’ was.

Queen Chryaalis dawned the form of a pale blue pegasi with a light grey mane. A crown as her cutie mark. “I shall go greet Nogla in Canterlot... do not let me down, Kevin.”

As soon as we stepped out of the train station, I was immediately amazed at how amazing this place looked. The Crystal Empire was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but Canterlot was a completely different kind of beast in terms of looks. For one thing, everything was made of some kind of marble, or other white material that shined and gleamed in the sunlight. Everywhere, everything, every single building looked well polished, well built, and simply amazing.

The Crystal Empire was beautiful and shiny, but Canterlot looked grand and magnificent.

This would make The Dublin Spire look like a toothpick in comparison. There was a huge, huge castle which was clearly at the forefront of the city’s focus, with it being in the center, being the tallest and mightiest structure in the entire city, with gold trims, and flags bearing what I assumed was Equestria’s crest, for all to see. And even then, the whole city was crawling with ponies here and there. This place oozed pride in the country that it was the capital city of.

Ponies, mostly unicorns(a few pegasi flew above, while a couple earth ponies were mixed in with the unicorns on the ground), wandered up and down the city streets, walking, chatting, laughing along to some tasteless joke their friend made. The occasional guard could be seen, lending a hand to some old lady, a kid, or just walking around and making sure the city was safe. The roads reminded me of Roman Roads, where there were tons, and tons, and tons of smoothened rocks laid in an orderly fashion, with concrete to hold them all together. A carriage with a couple of rich looking ponies pulled by as we walked along.

“Princess, are you certain that you don’t wish to ride your chariot back to the castle?” One of Celestia’s Guards asked.

“Of course. I have been informed that Nogla would like to see Canterlot, and it has been quite a while since I have had a leisurely stroll through the city as well. So, can we not knock down two boulders with one kick?” Celly paused for a moment. “Do run ahead and let Raven Inkwell know that I will be running a little bit late; an hour or two.”

“Of course your Highness,” the guard said before taking to the air… How did I not notice that the guard was a pegasus?

We began to walk down the streets, with Luna and Celestia occasionally stopping to window shop. I suppose even if you are the ruler of a country, it is cool to see what is being sold in a shop, even if you know you can buy whatever you’re looking at without it being completely detrimental to your wallet. Heck, I found myself stopping occasionally to look inside the same shops and found some pretty cool things. Like there’s a restaurant that was selling daisy burgers! How the heck would that even work? Daisy burgers were being sold as a cheap, healthier, tastier alternative to ‘hay burgers’. It would probably suck more than Burger King, but it sounded interesting.

I would’ve asked for a daisy burger, but I didn’t want to bother Celestia or Luna about it. Besides, I wasn't even hungry! Next time, next time I am on this street, I will stuff a daisy burger down my throat, and probably be surprised when said daisy burger tastes better than what can be gotten out of a gourmet restaurant back at home. Or be surprised at how it’s somehow better than Burger King, which would say a lot about how much that place sucked at making food.

Even a bag of dirt would be more edible than Burger King.

Also, a thing I took note of, was how many ponies were bowing to Celestia and Luna, which made sense, but immediately took a moment to glare at me, give me the stink eye, or something that involved a not pleasant facial expression or any kind of expression. Well, at the moment, I don’t give a fuck, I want to see what’s inside this ice cream shop. Everything in it looked really, really good. Like there were these ice cream sandwiches that had waffles instead of a wafer! God, that must be messy, but really tasty!

I want one... Would Celestia be mad if I asked for some ice cream?

I began to eye a cookie pizza on display, when suddenly I heard the ice cream shop’s door open up with a bell, and somebody wearing what looked like the shop’s uniform came out while holding an ice cream scooper. It had the same marketing guff on it as a regular fast food employee’s uniform back at home. Uh… where was Luna and Celestia? Or my guards? Feck, I lost them while I was eying that cookie pizza! It’s been about a decade since I’ve had a good one… Well, I suppose I should go catch up with the Sisters, or else something unpleasant will-

“Get away from my shop, you bucking Changeling!” The store owner threw an ice cream scooper at me, which hit me square in the nose. I yelped and held my nose.

“God damn, dude, that was a good throw!” My voice felt slightly more nazily, because y'know, I was holding my nose. “Like jesus, that fuckin’ hurt more than when a somebody kicked a footy into my face, mate!” I rubbed my nose a couple more times… it’s bleeding. Well that’s a bit… Wow, Blueblood must be a wee bitch if an ice cream scooper did more damage than a punch from him did.

“Did I stutter, bug? Get the hay away from my store! You’re scaring my customers!”

“I was trying to, and then you hit me in the face, you fuckin’ donut!”

“What did you just call me?”

“A fucking donut…” That is a lot of people, on second thought I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to go back on the train and get off in the middle of nowhere. I… want to go hide in an alleyway now, that was closer and way more convenient then buying a train ticket. And it was cheaper!

Everybody was staring at me, and I could’ve sworn I’ve seen a couple ponies getting ready to square up with me. Uh… yeah, okay, I’m gonna just go over here... I let my head hang low, and began to try and find that nice, dark alleyway to go sit in.

“What is going on here?” My head shot up, and so did everypony else. Luna and Celestia were standing together, both of whom had frowns on their faces, and both their wings flared. Luna had a fire in her eyes that made the Sun look like a campfire, while Celestia looked ready to make said ball of gas go supernova. Everybody, including the ice cream shop owner, bowed, before the store owner pointed at me.

“That darn Changeling is ruining my business! It keeps staring at ponies in my shop and making them uncomfortable, while scaring away anypony that wants to come in! On top of that, it’s making my employees uncomfortable!” He growled. “And if it just wanted some ice cream, I doubt it! Changelings are hideous creatures that only feed on emotion! They probably can’t even eat food.”

He said all of that like it was fact.

I opened my mouth to protest, but closed my mouth. I’m just not going to start speaking back again. Instead, I opened up one of my saddlebags and looked inside of it- oh hey a pack of Oreos. It isn’t ice cream, and I wish I had some milk on me, but I guess I can snack on these when I find that dark corner to hide in. I opened the package up with my magic and a small smile grew on my face. When I first came to America, these little shits broke my brain, and had quickly become my favorite thing to snack on.

I magicked one out of the packaging(it was a nice, big, full package too! And popped it in my mouth. I closed my eyes, while savoring it, and reopened them. Everyone was just staring at me, including the Princesses, who were now standing pretty close to me. “Uh…” I pulled two out. “Want an Oreo?” I asked.

“Why thank you, Prince Nogla,” Celly said with a faint, smug grin. The type you wouldn’t notice unless you looked really closely. Celly and Lulu took a cookie each, and took a very lady-like bite(unlike how they wolfed down their breakfast earlier) out of it. I swear, there was a little extra shine in Celestia’s eyes as she watched everybody’s jaw drop. She wiped her face with a handkerchief after finishing, and looked up at the shop keeper. “I see that you have… met Prince Nogla, my adoptive son, and new Prince of Equestria. And I see it wasn’t on the friendliest terms, judging from Nogla’s bloody nose.”

Oh, yeah, that kinda hurts. Luna pulled out an ice pack out of... where? And stuck it on my nose. That’s kinda... nevermind, it stopped the bleeding. Shortly afterwards, a bandage was applied to my nose. Well, might as well save the ice cream shop owner; he looked ready to shit himself.

“Don’t blame him, mama” Everybody gasped when I said that. Luna’s eyes told me she was finding this situation to be pretty funny. ”I tripped and-”

“The shopkeeper threw an ice cream scooper at Nogla,” one of my guards piped up. “Watch it happen myself.” I glared at the guard. “But I could have been seeing things, as Prince Nogla was quite far from my sight.”

“Anyways, let’s all just drop this, and head home, mother dearest? That train ride left me pretty tired.” The store owner slowly turned to me, and back to Celestia, while I popped another cookie in my mouth… God dammit, I want some milk.

“I am quite surprised,” Celestia said as we walked past the castle gates.

“What?”

“You handled yourself quite nicely, despite being physically assaulted by that store owner… Then you tried to cover up what had actually happened, even if Luna and I had seen what had happened when we turned back for you…” Celestia gave me a warm little smile. “That was very nice of you. For how young you are, I would have expected that you want revenge.”

“Oh, I did, but I also don’t want the guy to get locked up in jail for something I probably was doing. Like I didn’t mean to, but I probably was interrupting business for that guy… So it was fair that he wanted me to go away. I wish he didn’t throw a scooper at me, but I am also now a part of a species that invaded their city…. however long ago.”

“You know, I believe you’ve earned a reward… You were eying the ice cream that the parlor had, correct?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, I want a cookie pizza, the ice cream shop had some apparently, and they looked so good!”

“Wait until you see the royal kitchen’s take on cookie pizza…” Oh god, that sounded glorious. You bloody, moon raising horse, you! I fucking love you!

“Good afternoon, your highnesses,” an earth pony wearing a collar and tie walked up to us. She… oh, she was actually a unicorn. God I am blind, she had a clipboard floating as she approached us. “Did the Princess Summit go over well?”

“Indeed it did.”

“And this is the Changeling I was told about.”

I don’t even want to take any chances, I backed away, and hid behind Luna.

Raven squealed. “You know, that was kind of adorable, your highness! I didn’t expect to see a changeling that’s more scared of me than I am of them. Let alone a changeling to be tucked under one of your wings so cute.”

Luna smirked and rubbed my back with said wing. “Well, Ms. Inkwell, Nogla did just get assaulted by an ice cream store owner, so he might be slightly on edge when it comes to meeting new ponies.”

Ms. Inkwell peaked around Luna, who teleported behind me right after out from around her. Luna just left me in the open. “Hello!” Inkwell greeted me rather… cheerfully. “I suppose we will be working together for the foreseeable future, Nogla. I hope we can become good friends…”

“You aren’t disgusted by me?”

“Of course not! Anypony, or anything that the Princesses like, can’t be that bad. Especially you, since you got adopted by my bosses! If anything, you’re rather adorable; you’re shorter than most of the changelings I’ve seen, but I haven’t seen one up close, so I could be wrong.” I backed away when she tried to squish my face.

“Well your highnesses, I have your schedules cleared until tomorrow, so if you would like to rest up after such a long train ride, you may without interruption.”

“We were just going to the kitchens to procure some cookie pizza. Nogla has proven to be mature for his age, and I would like to reward him for his behavior,” Celestia sounded prideful… Ah, you’re making blush, Celly!

“Mind if I join in-“ Raven let out an ‘eep!’ when her pen fell out of her clipboard, which I had quickly picked up with my magic, and levitated it back to her. The pen hadn’t even had the time time to hit the ground; it was a feather and quill, after all. Raven Inkwell then blinked and looked up at me. “Why aren’t you quite the gentle colt?” She then planted a kiss on my cheek!

“...No problem Ms. Inkwell,” I said while rubbing my cheek. Raven giggled and looked up at Celly.

“So about that cookie pizza... I would like some.”

“You can come and join us any time, Ms. Inkwell, you’re not only my secretary, but a close friend. Come, let’s show our new Prince what a good cookie pizza is like.” Inkwell nodded and followed us to the ‘royal kitchen’.

Anyways, all four of us were covered in ice cream and cookie crumbs by the we were finished... We really could use a bath.

Author's Note

Had to get burger king slander in there!

Anyways, these arw the first four ‘demo chapters’ of the Changed Rewrite. I said I would release everything in one go, but I can just go as I please with this.

So, Funny Story is basically a shit post, while this is something I hope can be kinda funny, while(hopefully) also being incredibly well made. So tell me how it is so far.