She couldn’t remember her name. She did almost remember basically everything else. She was a woman, right? She remembered dodging her classes in college, having just recently celebrated her twenty-first birthday. She remembered the job she just attained to earn enough money to help pay her dad’s rent and her car insurance. But the most impactful memory was also the most recent. She was in the passenger seat of her car, and something happened. She remembered the boom and then the shockwave. Her brother, driving the car, told her to duck, but she must have been too late because everything went black only a moment later.
Was this death? She wanted to shout into the darkness, but she couldn’t. It was as if she were floating in a black void, her limbs tightly curled against her as she was stuck in a fetal position. She didn’t want to move out of the position, as the warmth she felt actually made her a little comfortable, but her inability to move did give her the smallest bit of anxiety. Time seemed to pass, but all she felt was the warmth.
As the time passed, little details began to change. At one point, she began to hear sounds. At some times, it felt like she heard soft classical music, but music that she didn’t recognize. At other times, it was electronic or another genre. These couldn’t have been memories. They were different, the words hard to gauge. They were English, but she had trouble keeping up with more than one or two words at a time.
Music wasn’t the limit of what she heard. She would sometimes hear faint voices, these voices just as hard to concentrate on as all the lyrics within the music. She didn’t know the voices, but when they stopped, she yearned to hear them again. It was just so boring here.
Boring; that’s the word. She didn’t understand why her brain wouldn’t let her use the term ‘lonely’. She should’ve been lonely, right? She was floating in this warm darkness, sometimes being shaken around. The shaking and movement would often lull her to sleep.
Sleep? She was sleeping again. This was wonderful! If she unlocked the ability to sleep, then maybe there were other things she could try to do in this strange purgatory. She spent the next few… days?... trying to move or discover what else she could do. Sadly, nothing came with the effort.
She wouldn’t have to wait long, though, as one day, she opened her eyes. It was as if they’d been closed the entire time. She’d see only a dim red, though, and it would get darker at different points in her “day” before lighting up again. This was strange. She would try to look at herself, but only be met with the same pink, although she did feel the pressure of her face pressing against her chest. It was weird how it felt, and that easily overtook her thoughts, not much else to think about during this time.
She noticed that she was moving, but at the same time, she was equally perplexed with what was happening to her face. She didn’t understand the feelings of her face gently nudging against her chest. It was as if part of her face jutted out a little bit, like a… muzzle? That would be her best explanation at the time.
‘Wait.’ If she could giggle, she would’ve, trying to explain her predicament to an audience that wasn’t there. But it didn’t answer why she had a muzzle. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t purgatory. Maybe this was a lucid dream, and she was slowly finding her ability to break out. It would explain why she had a muzzle. She had always wanted to be a cute anthropomorphic animal.
She spent the next few ‘days’ trying to figure out how to better shape her lucid dream, but she would only be able to move just a tiny bit. After little to no progress, she decided to just try to sleep for as long as possible. She had all of eternity, right?
Too bad purgatory was against this. She could see the dim redness when it happened, but she felt a gentle rub right against her face; well, more accurately, her “muzzle.” She reached back for the rub. What was rubbing her? Whatever it was made her thump a little bit, excited by the feeling of a rub against her. Well, it felt like a rub, but through a soft, warm wall of something.
Maybe her dream was of being trapped in a cocoon, and something was trying to get her out. She couldn’t get herself out, so that thing would need to do more than just rub her to break this carrier.
Throughout all of this time, she didn’t stop hearing the voices and music, although she tended to drown out the voices. Now, though, she heard this voice in a new way. It was as if it was talking straight to her, right outside of the shell.
“Hello,” said the voice. It was a very gentle, tender feminine voice, but she recognized it. It was the voice she heard the most, although it was usually not as tender and gentle. She wanted and tried to respond to the voice, but she just couldn’t make any noise, only able to move her mouth.
The voice talked more, but like before, the words came too quick for her to process much more than the last two.
“-see you,” The gentle, kind voice told her, and her heart beat hard to it, her face pressing against that soft cocoon. She wanted to see and hear what made that voice. It sounded so melodic; so caring. She really needed that, having missed the true human connections that she lost when she died.
The time went on, her listening and feeling for the visitor. She would be visited by many voices now, some masculine and others feminine, and all of them joined with a gentle rubbing to her arms or face. She found this attention to be very nice, helping her through the long, boring days within the cocoon. None of the attention compared to that of the voice she heard the most. When it spoke, it felt louder and more connected to her. She wished she could comprehend more of what it said, only hearing the first and last couple words of each speech.
Eventually the voice began to sing to her, and it somehow managed to lull her to sleep every time even as she really wanted to hear it to the end.
Time went by again, her being happier than ever as she listened to this voice on the other side. Today, she would have a self-surprise. She could control her movements a bit more, and she felt at her cocoon. It was all around her, holding her tight. It even seemed to be getting a bit tighter with each passing day. She still couldn’t feel her fingers and toes, but that touch should come back with time. That’s how everything else went at the very least.
Today, she listened to the voice read a story to her, not understanding any details about the story, but instead focusing on the excitement with which the voice was reading it. It sounded like one of the characters she wrote in her own stories, the voice having such an optimistic tone to it. It plagued in comparison to most of the tones she heard in her own world. She felt she could be happy just listening to this excited voice. It helped her create her own stories in her head that she could just remember on her own.
When she got out of this cocoon, she would tell the voice all sorts of stories.
Like before, more time passed. It felt like she had been in this cocoon for a year, and she wanted out. She pushed a bit, wanting to break through this wall until suddenly, she felt a shake within her chamber. Everything became tight around her, eliciting a… whine? She could make noises with her mouth, and she tried, only able to let out weak moans. She couldn’t quite understand her own noises, but she was uncomfortable.
She felt around a little bit, trying to move, and she felt her head gently pressing into what felt like an exit. She’d be held there for a while, her cocoon shaking and moving before she felt a familiar hum. The hum was almost like an electric car in its intensity, and a few thoughts filled her head. She was about to be broken out of the cocoon! She only needed to wait for them to bring her to the place where she could be taken out.
Soon enough, it felt as if she was being moved by the cocoon itself. She tried to help it, but she ended up going limp, her body stopping entirely, out of her control now. Wait, why did she hear cries of pain?
“It’s a filly!” She heard as she opened her eyes, and immediately closed them, everything being so bright. She was so cold and wet, whimpering and whining.
“-quiet one too!” The same voice shouted, her feeling something soft and warm holding her. It felt so big, but whenever she opened her eyes, she had to close them immediately due to the brightness.
“-see her!” Another voice shouted, but she recognized it right away. It was the feminine voice that she heard, and her heart leaped. She whimpered more, letting out weak coos as she reached out for that comforting voice. Warm, wet cloth rubbed over her body as she whimpered, just wanting that voice.
It wouldn’t be too long under the large appendages put her down into a new warmth, but this warmth was new. It was soft, dry, and… it was right. She pressed her body into the warmth, her whimpering subsiding, eyes still closed.
“-name her?” The first, unknown voice asked.
That voice responded, and it was close to her. No, not close to her. It was the warmth that was holding her. She was on the chest of… did she… is this…
“Perigee. I’ll name her Perigee. My little filly, Perigee… that’s your name… Perigee.”
It was dark, the room dimmed now that the midwife and new mother had realized that the newborn was half thestral, sensitive to light. To them, it must have been weird to see the filly who, instead of crying or fussing like normal foals tended to, just looked at her little hooves.
Little Perigee was staring at her hooves, holding them really close to her eyes. She was a horse of some sort. No, she was a pony. It was like that show that she watched in the past, although, like with every other thing with a unique name, trouble came when trying to identify it, so she just stopped trying. She was mesmerized with her little purple hooves, dark grey fur covering her legs, tiny fetlocks already beginning to grow. She wouldn’t be able to see it yet with its small size, but her mane was a mixture of pink and purple, her tail all the same. She had a little pair of wings, them only having tiny grey feathers for now, extra fluffy as well.
She’d be roused from her interest in her own form by the mare she was laying on. “Hello, Perigee,” she said, gently rubbing the filly’s cheek with her hoof. She was a unicorn with a dark grey coat, the same shade as her daughter’s, and her hooves were white, matching her white mane and ear-furnishings. The mare had purple eyes, the two beautiful orbs looking over the young filly. “I’m your momma.”
Perigee managed to understand that, her eyes widening and little ears laying back as she was through into a state of shock. It was all clear now to her. She was a newborn foal, and this mare had just given birth to her. Everything began to make sense before coming close to overwhelming her. She felt like she was going to have an anxiety attack, but then she felt her mother begin to stroke her soft back fur, the filly instinctively laying her head down. On one hoof, little Perigee wanted to talk and explain that she was actually too old, but on the other, she just couldn't the only sounds coming out of her mouth being coos. She also adored the affection. She felt so much happiness that outweighed her want for independence, if only for the moment. It didn’t help that the logical side of her little brain was telling her that she’d need the mare to survive. What affected her most was the love that she felt in her mother’s gaze. She knew the mare was watching her without judgement, only wanting to protect her and love her. It wasn’t exactly fair though, in Perigee’s opinion, that her own instincts were driving her to do the same. It felt fake to an extent; loving somepony else only because her mind was coded to do that.
A couple more moments passed before the filly lost her ability to think of anything else, sleeping from the loving contact given to her from her mother.
“I’ll leave you two be, Starwhirl,” The midwife said, waving at the new mother and giving her a caring smile. “Congratulations, again. Perigee is very beautiful.”
Starwhirl was exhausted, but she couldn't help but stay awake to watch her newborn foal. She was a first time mother, but even she knew that this wasn’t the way foals normally acted, not that she’d love the filly any less for being a special case. She fell in love with the filly upon first having laid her eyes on the little bab. What a happy moment for the new mother, her heart filling with warmth as her fears and doubts were washed away. The mare, who was once worried that she wouldn’t love the little one she created, was now in peace. “What a pretty little filly.”
She took great care to embrace this moment, only having a couple days of rest ahead of her before she’d have to go back to working. Just the thought made her heart drop, not wanting to leave this filly without momma for even a moment.
Perigee woke with a yawn, still feeling the comfortable, soft form of the mare under her. She opened her eyes, and she felt like crying, but held it off. Only an hour had passed, and she felt the pang of hunger in her belly. She let out a whine, unable to put the words together to voice her need. She had already put the ideas together that she was a baby pony, yet she was still embarrassed and frustrated with the idea that she could only communicate like one. She didn’t want to cry, as that would be her submitting to the fact.
She’d feel a bit of comfort as her mother pulled her up, a soft pair of lips pressing on her small forehead. While she knew she’d have rejected that in her previous life, she felt the need now to press into the muzzle's kiss, if only to let out another soft whimper. She wanted food. It took a few moments, though, for her to process what was happening as she was taken and brought down under the covers of the hospital bed. Into the darkness she went, not afraid, but just confused. After the short movement, she’d feel her little muzzle brush against, oh…
‘Wow,’ The foal thought. ‘I’m nursing, and I can’t even stop myself.’ She felt a bit awkward and even a bit frustrated with herself as she fed on her mother’s milk. It was all so strange, and she closed her eyes as she let her instincts take control for the moment.
And soon enough, the moment was over, her little body pulled up to be with her mother. Inside, she was shocked. Why, if she had so many memories of a previous life, and the mind of an adult, did she allow this mare to feed her?
Of course, if she tried, she couldn’t escape in any meaningful way. If she tried, she’d probably stumble right onto her face, these little limbs being too weak to even crawl across her mother’s form.
Her eyes widened. ‘Did I just think of her as my mother?’ She hadn’t noticed until now that her brain was reprogramming itself, recognizing this strange mare to be her mom. It could only add to this strangeness.
This brought up yet another quandary to the foal’s mind, though. She was an adult! She had experiences and skills. She had her own memories and… friends… family. Family; they were gone, all left in the world she was taken from. Why didn’t she feel her missing family? Her mind was being warped, but why was it warped like this? If she were to live as a foal, why was it not wiped? Why did she have the instincts to feed and cuddle, but not the basic emotional state of a baby? Why could she think like an adult while only being able to talk as a foal? It was almost torture to the poor filly, all of these thoughts permeating through her little skull.
To help push the anxiety away, she decided to do a little exercise she often did in her past life. She wanted to look to the positives. ‘Well, for one, I’m not dead. Two, I’m probably very cute. Three, I’m basically fursuit incarnate. Four, my mom is very soft and very cuddly. Five, I’m a girl… I’M A GIRL!’ She didn’t know how she didn’t realize this under that moment, letting out a squeaky, foalish giggle as a result. She was a girl! Not born male but born female! She remembered the nurse having announced it a few moments before.
Her excitement would be interrupted as her giggle was quickly noticed. She heard the familiar voice of her mother speak.
“What’s making you giggle so cutely?” The mare said, her voice still eerily comforting to the foal. Starwhirl was now close enough for the filly to see her with detail.
Perigee didn’t know how to respond, her grinning muzzle turning into the slightest of frowns, her ears laying back, and her eyes a little wide. She had so many emotions as she saw her mother in such clarity, her purple eyes watching closely and dark-grey muzzle so close to her own. The conflicting feelings had her stuck in this state while the mare took notice of the change.
“What’s wrong?” Starwhirl asked, her own ears laying back now, her pupils shrinking with anxiety. The birth had done a number on her emotions, and this sudden change to her foal’s previously-happy expression was doing the same again.
Perigee saw this, watching her mother go from having a happy face to one that looked a little sad. It even tore her little heart as she watched tears begin to well in the mare’s eyes. Why did she look like this? Was it…? Little Perigee only noticed right now that the mare was reacting to what she was doing.
‘How had I forgotten about her? Has my time in… in her… has it made me selfish? She’s giving me so much care and attention, and yet I just repaid it by frowning at her…’ She knew many mothers in her past life, and there was one surefire way to get her new momma happy again.
Starwhirl giggled as she watched the filly stick out her little tongue between her lips blowing a raspberry at her. “Oh, what an adorable little girl…” The mare pulled little Perigee up, holding her close under her neck and leaning in to gently kiss her on the forehead.
Perigee, all the while, welcomed the kiss and the tighter hug, happy to have made the generous mare just a bit happier. Not to mention that kiss made her heart flutter a little bit. She had always wanted more affection before. Her ears lay back at the sudden thought of never having gotten to meet her boyfriend. She had gotten over it during her time in the womb, but missed opportunities were exactly what they were: missed.
The filly let out a soft squeak as her mother shuffled her up a little bit. If she’d the ability to be honest with anybody, she’d have admitted to being just the smallest bit embarrassed for making such a noise. Luckily, the only response her mother made was a little giggle.
Gosh, it was so warm and comfy, her little form curled up with her head gently leaning into her mother’s neckfur. Soon enough, she’d be out once again, her belly full of warm milk and her head full of happy thoughts.
Starwhirl, upon receiving a statement from her insurance that she had fifteen minutes left in the hospital before she’d have to cover a significant percentage of the remaining bill, was being wheeled toward the exit with her foal in her hooves and a scowl on her face. The nurses couldn’t blame her. She had just given birth only a few hours before, and she had to move her sore body home already.
Once reaching the outside, she made sure her jacket was on before she was wheeled out. She held the little foal, now bundled in a warm blanket, once having been Starwhirl’s own foal blanket, sitting there in the cold for a few moments. It was dark, like always, the city’s bright lights keeping everything lit up, the massive buildings towering far above. Using her magic to carefully move the filly into a foal carrier against her chest, she stood up shakily and began the trek to the bus station.
“Please don’t wake up, baby… I know it’s loud out here, but it’ll be nice and quiet when we get home.” She told her sleeping foal this as she trotted to the bus stop, waiting next to several other ponies, none of whom were interested in any other pony’s existence. For the moment, the unicorn was glad for this, sitting down and gently laying her head over the foal’s while taking a look at her holoTab, a small square chip that extended out into a magical, holographic phone-tablet.
Soon enough, the bus would be here, and the sore mare climbed aboard, standing while holding onto one of the rails on the side, swaying with the movement of the bus as she kept her head laying over her foal’s, her concentration on her tablet as she used her nose to move through and between apps. She wasn’t given her undergarments upon leaving the hospital, so she didn’t trust sitting on these seats. She was lucky to have a horn so that she could stand comfortably like this.
It was during the bus ride that she began to think about her daughter. Her midwife was very helpful, but she couldn’t explain why the foal wasn’t looking around. Why wasn’t her little one curious about the world? The most curiosity she noticed was when the foal looked up at her, but she thought that it looked more like fear, but the midwife said it was most likely confusion. ‘Foals never fear their mother,’ Starwhirl thought.
It was a short bus ride, Starwhirl trotting off onto the side trot and into her neighborhood. Of course, the term for such a building was far from correct, consisting of several interconnected skyscrapers with tens of thousands of apartments rising high into the sky.
The lobby was a large, open room, several help desks lining each side of the room with three hallways branching off from the end. Each hallway went straight, having rows upon rows of techno-magical portals. She’d hoof down the left hallway finding the twenty-eighth portal on the left and trotting through. It was an instantaneous, and she was now on her floor, the filly still comfortably sleeping in her little carrier, unphased by such a strange, magical way of travel.
The portal landed her in a T-shaped intersection of a hallway. Picking her path, she counted the rooms until she finally made it to her door. Placing her hoof on a little scanner, the door opened, and she quickly trotted in, closing the door behind her. She was hungry and in need of sleep.
The apartment was warm and cozy, the ceilings lower than other buildings but perfectly sized for a small mare with a similarly small foal. On the left of the front door was the kitchen and on the right, a little storage room. Straight ahead was the living room, and behind that, a single master bedroom with a bathroom and lovely closet.
The first thing the mare did was trot into her kitchen, opening her fridge and pulling out the leftovers of a ‘plant-based meat’ burrito. While it would be strange for ponies to ever want an alternative for meat, certain groups of gryphons had crafted it to sell to the large pony consumer-base, and it caught on quite well, especially for ponies like Starwhirl. She placed it into the flash-oven, an oven-like appliance that would very quickly back or broil whatever was placed into it without the need for radiation like a microwave.
While the burrito flash-baked, she went right over through her living room. The couch and a liquor cabinet graced the side of the apartment adjacent to the kitchen while a mounted TV sat on the wall above a long coffee table on the opposite side of the room. Starwhirl trotted between, opening her bedroom door, and trotting into her cozy bedroom. Her queen-sized bed lay in the back-left corner of the room, a bedside table next to it with a lamp upon it as well as an alarm clock. Closer to the front of the room, adjacent to the bed, was the closet door. The right side of the bed had a desk with a nerdy computer setup next to the bathroom door.
Placing the filly on the foal station, she watched the automatic station change the filly and clean her up more efficiently than the mare ever could; not that she couldn’t. She already demonstrated that she could at the hospital, but she got the station because she was very bad about waste. It also helped that the cloth diapers would be automatically fed into a cleaning machine within the device, replaced by a freshly cleaned, dried, and warmed replacement.
Hearing a beep, she scooped up her freshly-changed foal and placed her on her back, trotting over and retrieving the burrito. On any normal night, she would have gone and snoozed on her comfy couch under a blanket and silly movie. This wasn’t a normal night, of course, being her daughter’s first night of life. She carried the burrito in her magic, eating it while laying down on the bed, her magic careful not to let any crumbs fall as she did, the small foal being floated to lay right infront of her. She ate the burrito with hums of delight as she watched the filly sleep, the young foal’s little hooves held close to her small form.
As the mare finished her burrito, she balled up the wrapper and set it aside on the bedside, using her moderate skill in magic to feel around her backroom for her toothbrush. After a few moments of effort, she managed to water it, squeeze some toothpaste on it, and bring it over. While she brushed her teeth, she watched her little foal, smiling at the little one would occasionally twitch or move a little. To such a new mother in a technologically advanced world, it was almost comforting that, instead of being on her holoTab, computer, or another device, she could just watch the life she created be peaceful and serene.
A short moment later, she used her magic to clear all of the toothpaste out of her maw, globbing it up and sending it to the sink and her toothbrush to the counter. After she was finished concentrating on that, she realized her baby girl was awake, looking up at her sparkling horn with wide, amazed eyes. “D’aww… my little Peri is fascinated with her momma’s magic?”
Little Perigee was in awe of her mother’s magical appendage, having remembered seeing it in that show from her old world, but not quite thinking it’d work just the same. She had trouble not trying to communicate with the mare. She looked so happy, but her newborn filly communicating in a semi-intelligent manner like nodding with her would surely ring red flags, right? Little Perigee didn’t want to break her new mother’s happiness.
It'd take only a couple moments for the foal to realize why she did wake up, and she whined and let out some more weak coos, wanting to feed. Within moments, her mother would allow her to nurse. Even though she sometimes felt like she was violating her mother, being an adult in a foal’s body, it only felt right. She was hungry, and the mare was happy to feed her. It was only natural, right?
After she was done, she felt drowsy, leaning her head into her mother’s fur as she was pulled back up. Due to the cloth diaper, she didn’t even notice she had anything on, her only attention being on the warmth and comfort her mother’s hooves provided. It was as comfortable as a snuggie on a cold winter day while watching movies on the phone in sync with her friends.
She turned her head up, it laying flat on her mother’s chest as she saw the mare looking back down at her. This time, she smiled at the mare, who smiled back with a bigger smile. The mare’s horn glowed, and little Perigee’s mouth turned into an o, her eyes widened as she watched the small chip of the holoTab open, snapping a picture from behind her mother’s head under the control of her mother’s magic. As the magic went away, the filly exhaled, letting out the breath she held while watching the little show of magic.
“You have magic, too, Perigee. It’s in your little wings…” Her mother said, gently brushing her hoof over the filly’s little wings, earning her a coo from little Peri as she looked back into her mother’s eyes.
After a few more moments, Perigee would feel herself being pulled up, her head gently nestled against her mother’s neck as the mare lay her head over her daughter’s.
Within moments, Perigee found herself falling into a slumber, her mother following suit.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading so far! I am really enjoying writing this story, and feel free to ask about the setting if you are at all confused!
The first week of life was smooth sailing for the young Perigee and her new mother, the filly refusing to cry or fuss, stubborn and not letting herself truly be the annoying baby she knew oh so well in her previous life. She’d let out soft whines and coos whenever she needed something, just cuddling with her mother and even watching the mare use the computer or watch the TV. Her mother purchased her a more comfortable carrier, and she’d always have the front row seat to everything her mother did.
This allowed her to learn more about this world and how ponies did things. Her mother typed on an almost-holographic keyboard designed for hooves and used a mouse with her other hoof. She’d watch Starwhirl play games with such high fidelity that she couldn’t help but just stare. Of course, the mare would thing that the foal was just amazed by all the colors. The technology was just so cool to the nerd within Perigee.
She’d get bored, of course, and she took to trying to play with her mother in the cutest ways. Something really warmed her heart about how excited the grown mare became at Perigee being cute. She understood it, to an extent, having sometimes daydreamed about being a mother in the past. Maybe this was why she was so good at pushing her mother’s ‘death from cuteness’ buttons.
Perigee was lucky that, during her first few days atleast, her mother managed to get every day off from work, but it was only on day five that the filly found her mother traveling out of the home with her for the first time while she was awake.
The colors and smells were overwhelming to the foal, resulting in her closing her eyes and trying to lean back against the mare. She could hear all the strange sounds, presuming that they were just an odd element of the different technologies. Her vision wasn’t nearly good enough to see more than a foot or so from her eyes, so she didn’t see how huge the city was, not that it mattered with her very sensitive senses.
Her mother worked in a kitchen as a chef, and, as foals weren’t taken at any reputable foalcare until they were six weeks old, Perigee went with, riding backwards in her foalcarrier. She had a little mask on, and most of the time, she just lay there, bored out of her mind. Any normal foal would be annoying the hell out of their mother with such a situation, but the little filly attached to Starwhirl thought a little bit more of her mother, not wanting to be such an annoyance. She’d also notice that she didn’t get quite the attention that she’d have expected as a foal. Even her mother’s coworkers were somewhat passive about her being around. Truthfully, Perigee herself thought it was terrible that Starwhirl even had to bring her to work, remembering maternity leave from her old world.
She usually tended to just press her little muzzle against her mother’s fur in every possible way. Perigee’s coat was thick enough to make it difficult to feel the fur on her mother, but she could feel it with her muzzle, and it was very soft. As a result, she’d spend her time thinking and nuzzling the warm mare before sleeping for extended periods of time.
This routine went on for weeks, and Perigee, the entire time, was mostly trying to sleep it through, knowing that she’d hopefully soon be strong enough to trot on her own. She learned many of the mannerisms and language of the ponies around her, especially her mother’s. Here, they say ‘everypony’ instead of everybody, and ‘hand’ isn’t even a term, instead replaced with hoof.
For Starwhirl, it was odd, the little foal having cried only twice in those first few weeks, and each cry being at moments when she was just laying down. She couldn’t quite interpret what they were for, as she wouldn’t be hungry, in pain, or dirty. It panged her heart the couple times she watched her filly cry. It wasn’t a normal foal’s cry, either; not matched with screams, foolish wailing, or anything of the sort. It felt sad, and it took all she could to not cry with the little one when she got into that state.
Her pediatrician didn’t know what it was, either. The doctor would tell her that she had never seen or even heard of a foal crying in such an… adult way. This was after she watched a recording the mother had taken of the foal, too, making it an even more concerning situation. It was a quiet cry both times, the filly not begging for attention or even responding to her mother.
The filly did know what she was crying about, though, it being the stress and anxiety of a life she had lost. She couldn’t cry in the womb, not having the ability to, so those first couple cries allowed her to get out those little cries.
By week four, those feelings were mostly put away, replaced by the optimism of a new, happier life.
Perigee was laying on the couch, about six weeks old. She was bored out of her mind, her mother over in the kitchen talking to a friend on the phone, and the TV playing soft classical music with a still image on the screen.
‘What a good mom,’ The foal thought to herself in a bit of a bored, sarcastic manner. Of course classical music would be good for a developing foal, but her act of being as normal a foal (of course, without betraying her own principles by being annoying) was getting tedious and truly boring. This was not helped by the fact that she was being held a tad bit less, which meant that she couldn’t see as many things. She did want attention, but only because attention meant she was not as bored. Her mother had a pretty smile and she told Perigee her issues. Sometimes, she ranted to the foal, probably assuming she was a dumb little bab, not understanding a word of what she was saying.
‘I hope you and Sunlight are doing better,’ the foal thought, having garnered from the phone conversation that Starwhirl was talking to one of her friends named Sunlight. Her mother had, the week before, ranted to her about Sunlight being distant and dodging her messages.
Still, even listening to the conversation became boring. Perigee needed to do something productive, and she hated that she felt this way. Why did the universe put her in the body of a cute foal and kept most of her brain function? Why couldn’t she just think like a foal? It would be so much easier!
The filly was laying on her belly, her head turned a little toward the kitchen in the best position she could think of for listening. Occasionally, she’d try and fail to move herself. She did, after a few tries, roll herself onto her back; right onto the floor; with a thump. She let out a yelp as she did, too, whimpering at the moment’s pain of falling like that.
Her mother, of course, came running over with a worried expression. “I’ll call you back, Sunny.” She hung up the phone, running over to her daughter and scooping up the filly. Perigee, once again, didn’t let out more than a single tear from the shock, looking up at her mother with wide eyes as she saw the mare carefully look over her form. “I’m sorry, baby… Momma shouldn’t have left you alone like that. This is my fault, honey…”
Perigee was thinking for a moment. Like before, she wanted to make the mare happy, but not just because she wanted to make her cute. It was because… she loved the mare. She thought about that for a moment; about the love that formed when she first met her new mother. That love was even stronger, now, and she really wanted to show that to her mother. Knowing her mouth and vocal cords were weak and especially clumsy, she decided to just go for it.
“M-Ma! M-mama!” The filly squeaked out, earning a gasp from her mother.
The mare’s eyes were widening as she held her foal and listened to what was clearly her first word. This quiet, odd filly just, after only being alive for a month and a half, called her Mama! “U-uh… yes! That’s me! I’m your momma!” The mare was tearing up, holding her filly tight to her chest and gently grooming her foal in an act of true maternal love.
Now, Perigee had been groomed and licked before, primarily when she had a milky mouth after feeding, but she could never fully get used to it, the smallest bit weirded out while her instincts made her lean into her mother’s tongue.
“M-mama!” She let out again, enjoying the love and attention she received from her mother as the mare stopped grooming, holding her up in front of her face and nodding excitedly.
“That’s right, baby… Momma’s here…” To Starwhirl, the little anxieties that had plagued her mind for the past couple of weeks… the doubts, the fears… they all faded away as she cried a little bit, holding her little foal close. Having believed her filly was unhappy just a little while ago, her heart was just ready to burst now, a big smile on her face and tears streaming down her cheeks.
Perigee smiled, leaning into her mother’s fur as she was comfortably held in her mother’s strong hooves. It was also at this moment, she thought, that she could try saying some more, but she didn’t want to kill the mare a heart attack!
“Oh… Momma loves you so much, my little Perigee…” Starwhirl said, lifting up the foal once again so that they could look at eachother eye-to-eye. Perigee’s hindlegs dangled with her tail while her upper side was supported by her mother’s hooves. “I love you,” She said again, gently nuzzling at the foal’s cheek.
Perigee smiled, letting out her soft coo while wanting to say oh so much more. She just couldn’t help it. Being careful to sound not too advanced with the delivery, she said, “I w-wove ou…”
Starwhirl’s heart thumped hard. “Y-you… mmm…” She leaned in close to give her daughter a big kiss on the forehead before finally letting out. “I love you too, my smart, smart filly!” She giggled in between sniffles as she slid back onto the couch, laying on her back and giving her little foal even more gentle grooms.
What a day! Perigee was happy, and so was her mother. And it had to be interrupted by her hunger. She began to whine softly, interrupting the grooming session as her mother began to look a little worried. “What’s wrong, Peri? Are you hungry?”
Now, Perigee couldn’t be that forward yet. She knew that babies didn’t understand what nodding meant or other similar facts for a while, so she just squeaked out, “M-mama…” while looking down, around her mother’s hoof that was holding her.
Within moments, Starwhirl had her daughter feeding, a happy feeling in her chest as she watched her little foal feed. She’d made such a smart filly, saying her first words after six weeks of life? Most foals didn’t utter that until five or six months at the earliest! Her heart swelled with pride, but she also did have a little bit of worry. What made her filly so quick to speak? Should she talk to someone about it?
Perigee had no clue of anything her mother was thinking about now. Whenever she fed, she’d go into a bit of a personal reflection state, just nursing and enjoying the milk while combing her own brain. It wasn’t quite as awkward as before, but she felt the love in it, and she knew her mother was happy with it. Her mother being happy was the most important thing. She remembered that her relationship with her mother was strained in her previous life, but this time, she didn’t want that.
The little emotions going through Perigee’s head did bring up another idea, too. She related to this young mare in quite a big way. Just out of college, her mother was two years younger than her. She’d heard the mare say that she was twenty years old, while she herself remembered being twenty-two when she died, also being just out of college. She noticed that her mother played video games, talked to ponies online, and did many of the sorts of things that she’d done in her previous life. Maybe she was meant to be this mare’s daughter. Maybe it wasn’t all chance?
Perigee was yanked out of her thoughts as she finished feeding, feeling full and even a little sleepy. She didn’t let the frustration get to her, though, smiling up at her mother as she was pulled up. She felt the mare gently lick over her lips, a blush on the filly’s cheeks as she realized that she had still spilled a little on herself.
Starwhirl gently brushed her foal’s mane back with a hoof. saying, “We’re gonna be meeting your aunt soon. She’s going to be helping us get home.”
‘Home? This isn’t our home?’ Perigee thought, leaning into her fur as she was especially sleepy, the brushing combined with a full belly always tempting her to fall into a deep slumber. Within moments, she was sleeping, her mother pressing her muzzle into the filly’s mane.
“Always such an easy sleeper,” Starwhirl said, holding the foal tightly to her chestfur while just watching the little one sleep. Her horn lit, holding the filly up as she trotted along to her computer. Putting on the foal carrier, she slid the filly in backwards, so that Perigee could keep her little muzzle buried in her chestfluff.
Of course, she immediately realized she made a mistake as the foal moved just a little bit, signaling that she had just made herself ready to be changed. The foal only ever went when she slept, and by now, the mare would silently curse herself as she shook her head, pulling the foal out of the carrier and putting her on the foal station.
After a few moments, the filly would be freshly changed, cleaned, and tightly snug in her mother’s foal carrier, her muzzle gently pressing into the mare’s fur once again.
Today was a great day.
Perigee hung in her foal carrier as she was carried by her mother to what she presumed was work, although it felt like they were taking a different route. Her eyes were much better now, being able to see much of the city around her in all of its wonder. That’s probably why she didn’t notice the new route, as her eyes were too focused on all of the new sights. She felt herself wanting to go out and explore, but these weak little hooves wouldn’t get her anywhere.
They were leaving a bus, the foal looking around at all of the various ponies with her eyes wide, seeing so many different types. What especially drew her gaze were the kirin. They looked so cute, and their manes were so fluffy! This didn’t distract her from the occasional gryphon or changeling, though. She thought both were cute in their own ways. Whenever she saw a thestral, she looked at them with wonder, knowing that, based on what her mother said, she was like them, and she would have fangs like one at some point.
Ponies here didn’t trot on the sidewalks, but instead through pedestrian tunnels under buildings, the road inundated with transport vehicles and more busses. Not to say there was traffic, though. The filly even thought it was amazing that she hadn’t seen a slow down in the entire time she’d been here.
Soon enough, they’d make it, Perigee gently placed onto a foam mat beside a front desk, her mother talking to the mare at the desk. The filly listened to the conversation, not focusing on the toys around her.
“I called earlier. Her name is Perigee,” Starwhirl said, smiling at a mare behind the desk.
“Let me check,” The earth pony mare said, tapping through her system, looking for the name. “Alright. We should be all good.” The mare trotted over around the counter to lean down to Perigee. She smiled at the filly, snapping a bracelet around the foal’s hoof. “Welcome to Shortchest Daycare, Perigee.”
Starwhirl accompanied the mare, leaning down and saying, “Alright, baby. I’ll be here to pick you up when I’m done with work, ok?” She gave her foal a kiss on the cheek as a bonus.
Little Perigee’s ears lay back. She somehow didn’t put it together that she would have to go to a foal care at some point to give her mother a break, but that didn’t do much for her anxiety. “M-mama…” She said on impulse with a degree of sadness in her voice.
Starwhirl’s ears lay back as she gently hugged her little one. “I promise I’ll be back to get you as soon as I can, baby, but momma’s gotta go.”
The filly hugged her mother as tight as she could, realizing just now that she hadn’t ever been without her mother while understanding that she couldn’t be there all the time. As her mother put her down, she sat down, trying not to look defeated as the mare trotted away, giving one more wave.
A few moments later, the foal would feel and see magic glow around her as a white-furred, black-maned unicorn stallion trotted into the lobby, him picking her up and laying her on his back. He didn’t say anything to her, just carrying her to a room with a few toys on the ground, a couple more foals sitting or lying about, their hoofs reaching out to move around toys, all of them around her age.
She was laid down on another foam mat. A soft cry came from another of the foals, a bright-green pegasus mare with a dark-green mane trotting over to console the little one while Perigee pinned her ears to her head, her sensitive little ears not liking the other foal’s cries. She had her little hooves packed under her, looking around before slumping, her head laying against the soft padding.
She was completely disinterested with the toys, looking at her hooves while moving them around slowly. ‘What a time to not have a child’s wonder,’ She thought, her eyes dragging along the room. There was a simulated window with the daytime sky glowing through. Of course, daytime sky on New Harmony was a glowing mess of clouds with occasional lightning. So… it still looked like night. There was a light hanging from the top of the room glowing quite like a star, so it felt like a good replacement for a little daycare like this. There were several toys lying about. The shelf under the window sported several more. There was a rocking chair in the corner beside the shelf on which sat the pegasus, who was rocking the crying colt. On the wall to the mare’s left was a big mural of some foals playing in a field next to what looked like a big alicorn, her wings above them. It looked really nice, too.
All in all, it was a cute room, but Perigee wasn’t much into the foal stuff, which sucked considering her state. For the first time since her boring time in the womb during the first few months, she yearned for something to get high on. Atleast it’d make looking up at that light more entertaining.
Only five minutes passed, but it felt like an eternity to the foal. The colt had calmed down by now, and the pegasus was watching Perigee as she was now looking up at the window, her eyes lidded with boredom.
“Hey, Perigee,” She said, trotting over and gaining the filly’s attention. “Do you see something out there?”
The foal looked up the mare with a blank expression. She knew that she wasn’t a threat, so she didn’t try to hide or lean away.
“Here,” The mare said, scooping up little Perigee in her hooves. “Let’s find what you like, hm?”
Perigee didn’t reject being picked up, leaning against the mare as this was still better than laying on that floor. She would be lucky too that this mare was clearly more experienced in holding foals than her mother was, trotting over to the shelf while a hoof held her up. Admittedly, it was probably pretty difficult to get the right balance to trot with two hind legs and only one foreleg.
“Show me one of the toys that you’d like to play with,” The mare said, sitting infront of the shelf and pointing at it with her hoof.
Perigee looked at all of the toys, quite dissatisfied by all of the foal toys. They were clearly meant for foals her age, like little shakers, balls, and things to hold. It would take her a few moments, but she would see a little hoof-xylophone decorated with stars and galaxies.
She reached out for it, and the mare said, “You wanna make some music? Let me get that for you, sweetie.”
In a few short moments, the filly was on the ground infront of the hoof-xylophone. It had eight plates. She gently tapped each from low to high, them making digitally-created notes in return. Slowly and surely, she played an old tune that she remembered but she couldn’t name (Joy to the World).
Watching a seven-week-old play a simple toon so decently on her first try left the pegasus mare flabbergasted. Perigee, after finishing her little session, just tried to make little songs for herself as the pegasus listened along, smiling and petting the filly with a wing. “You’re doing so well, Perigee,” the pegasus said, trotting over to one of the other foals to give them some attention while they whined.
Perigee continued playing with the xylophone for a few more moments before she found herself getting bored yet again. She felt like laying down and just snoozing the day away, but she couldn’t crawl too easily. She didn’t want to sleep on the mat either.
With soft huffs, she slowly crawled until she found herself at a beanbag, laying her head on it and closing her eyes. She was definitely not strong enough to hoist herself onto it, so she just tried to use it as a pillow.
After a few moments, she felt herself being picked up. She opened her eyes a little to see the mare carrying her, opening a door to enter another room, but not the one they came in from. In here, it was a small room filled with little beds, and the foal would be gently laid in one. She was met with a pleasant surprise as the foal blanket that came from her mother was laid upon her. With the scent of her mother on the warm cloth, she managed to fall into a slumber.
Perigee awoke, noticing she was wearing a new diaper only because this cloth was a different brand than the one she was used to wearing. It was also clipped on slightly differently to the ways that her mother and the machine both did it. She was still in the bed, but she felt hungry. She began to whine, fighting her instincts to foal-cry. She hadn’t foal-cried yet, and she really didn’t want to start now, so she whimpered as she felt the hunger pangs.
After a few minutes, she couldn’t hold back her instinctive need to cry for food, but she managed to only make a soft, squeaking cry instead of the normal, skin-tingling cry. That still took a bit of effort, but her cries would be answered by the sweet pegasus mare, who trotted over with a pity-filled expression.
“Aww… what’s wrong, Perigee?” The mare asked, and she was answered quite quickly by Perigee opening and closing her little mouth in between soft whimpers. “Oh, you’re hungry?”
Perigee was picked up, the foal leaning into the mare’s fur as she carried her over through the play room, to the lobby, and into another room that was also behind the front desk. This room was another play room, but there were older foals in it. They were from six months to a year old. She’d trot into another room connected to this one before Perigee could see too much of that one, and this room had soft, classical music playing. There were two other mares in there, both holding and feeding foals with bottles. This room looked like a kitchen, and there were a couple of fridges as well as a counter with bottle heaters on one side while the other had a few chairs for the caretakers to sit and feed their respective hungry foals.
“Your mommy made sure to leave some milk just for you,” The sweet pegasus said, pulling out a full bottle and placing it on one of the heaters.
Perigee whimpered, her face still wet with tears as she let out a couple more tears. ‘Why does hunger hurt so much more as a foal?’ She thought as she couldn’t help but cry softly yet again if only to not let the pressure build up from those hunger pangs.
“Oh, sweetie…” The pegasus gently bounced the filly as she looked back to the bottle warmer, waiting a few more moments before it dinged. She grabbed it with her wing, swirling it as she trotted over to one of the chairs. Laying down to assume the correct feeding position, she helped the sobbing filly to lay down before gently pressing the tip of the bottle to her lips.
Perigee suckled happily, her tears going away as she drank the warm milk. Her anxiety felt like it was washed away as she knew it was her mother’s. She closed her eyes, gulping down the warm milk faster than before. This wasn’t like a normal feeding session, though, as she was still in a stressful place, being away from her mother. Her thoughts lay on the milk she drank, that warm nectar making her feel like, atleast for this moment, she was right here.
It would be over too quickly, Perigee finishing her feeding, not having drank the whole bottle. She was quite full, though, and she just wanted to go back to the comfortable bed, under the blanket that smelled like her mother.
Her caretaker picked her up, bringing her along to the playroom she had been in before. She began to place the young foal down, but stopped as Perigee let out whimpers and whines. “Oh? You still need somepony to hold you? Hey Klondike, would you mind holding Perigee for me?”
Klondike seemed to be the stallion who carried little Perigee into her, and he looked up from the rocking chair, focusing on Perigee’s eyes before saying, “Actually, Longrass, I think I’m gonna be taking my break.”
Perigee was confused, having met the stallion’s gaze for a few seconds. Did he just not want to hold her? Or was he actually just going on a break?
“Well, I’m sorry, Perigee. I have to make sure my hooves are free in case any other foal really needs me,” Longrass told her, trying to put her down again.
Perigee responded by trying to hold on, whimpering and looking over toward the nap room’s door.
“You cannot sleep all day, Perigee. Your momma wants you to play, sweetie,” The mare said, placing the foal back down and trotting over to the rocker, watching over the foals. Now, there were twelve foals including Perigee in the room, and that didn’t include the ones who were in the nap room, although those foals were being watched by another caretaker.
Perigee was determined to get back over to the bed. She wanted her mother badly, or atleast just her blanket. She began to slowly crawl across the room, letting out soft whimpers as it was tough to crawl like that.
With a sigh, Longrass stood up and picked up the eager little foal, saying, “Alright, but you better not tell your mom.”
Perigee held onto the mare in response, happy to oblige that request as she was brought into the napping room once again. When she was laid in her little bed again, she snuggled up under her blanket, closing her eyes.
She took a bit longer to sleep this time, but in time, she’d slumber. When she awoke, she’d feel a muzzle gently nuzzling at her cheek.
“Hey, baby… Momma’s here…” A familiar voice said. The sleepy foal immediately raised her ears as she cooed instinctively, looking up at her mother.
Perigee had been changed once again in her sleep, but this time, she could tell it was likely by her mother, as her normal brand was on. Aside from this, she was ecstatic, pressing her muzzle into her mother’s muzzle, emotions rushing into her. Oh, how she missed this mare.
“M-Mama…” She squeaked out as she was lifted up and slid into the foal carrier in a reversed position so that Perigee was able to press her muzzle into her mother’s fluff.
Starwhirl smiled and gave her filly several kisses on the ears as she retrieved her bag, taking the bottle from the caretakers and thanking them.
Perigee didn’t care to look at the city, just leaning into her mother. She didn’t think she’d miss her mother this much, but she did. “Mama…” She said with a whimper as she leaned into her fur. Truthfully, the foal didn’t want to go to that daycare again. Well, she just didn’t want to be separate from her mother again. “I wove ou…”
“Oh… I love you too, baby…” Starwhirl responded, climbing aboard a bus and looking down at her little angel. She felt a wetness on her coat as the filly was crying ever so slightly. Did her foal really miss her that much? “Oh… oh Perigee…” She sat down nuzzling at her daughter as the poor little thing cried softly.
“M-mama…” Perigee was crying a little bit, letting out her sadness and anxieties that had built up while she was so bored… so alone. It didn’t help that being rejected by that stallion really got to her.
“We’ll be home soon. You’ll get to meet my sister today, ok? No need to cry…” Her heart burned for the little filly, petting her mane and saying, “Are you hurting?”
Perigee sniffled and looked up at her mother’s face. She saw her mother’s eyes glistening with tears, causing her own little heart to burst with love and appreciation for the mare. Now she knew why she missed her mother so much. Her mother cared so much for her, all the way to the point where the mare was on the verge of crying because of Perigee’s own tears.
“Mama…” She tried to lift her neck, her mother leaning down to meet her. Perigee gently nuzzled at her mother’s cheek.
Starwhirl sniffled and gently groomed at her daughter’s face, licking away her tears. “Perigee… momma loves you…”
Perigee leaned up into her mother’s peppering of licks and kisses, both of them ignoring the surrounding ponies, a couple of whom were watching with smiles at the adorable interaction.
They got off at their stop, Starwhirl trotting into the building and making her way to the apartment. When she entered, she kissed Perigee on the top of her head before heading back to the bedroom, laying the small foal on the bed before taking off her saddlebags as well as the foal carrier. Her horn lit, the filly being floated up next to her mother as she trotted over to the bathroom.
Perigee giggled softly, flapping her little wings as she floated next to her mother, happy as ever as she watched her mother turn on the bath. She loved the bath, not because it was fun like other bath-loving foals, but because it was a moment for her to spend with mom.
After a few moments of waiting for the warm water to fill the tub, Starwhirl climbed into the tub, little Perigee settled into her hooves. She used her magic to gently scrub up the little filly, who let out giggles and coos as it tickled her little form.
Perigee squeaked out and splashed the water, saying, “M-mama! B-baf!”
“Oh my! Who’s a very smart filly??” Starwhirl asked, raising Perigee, and rubbing their noses together.
The filly squeaked and giggled, nuzzling back.
Using a little bucket, Starwhirl poured water over Perigee’s head as the filly closed her eyes. After a few moments, her fur and mane were all shampooed up in foal shampoo, staining her temporarily with the shampoo before cleaning her all off, doing the same to herself while she rinsed the small foal.
To Starwhirl, she was just a lucky mother to have such a compliant filly, drying herself and the foal off with ease and without a single fuss. Perigee just enjoyed her time with her mother, the mare’s happiness rubbing off on her.
A few short moments later, Starwhirl was sitting with her little filly, brushing her mane out and smiling down at the filly as she held up her foal, letting the foal lean her little chin onto her chest as she prettied the little one. “You’re going to love your auntie. She’s so excited to meet you!”
The little one opened her eyes, looking up at her mother, her slitted eyes dilating as she cooed softly. “I wuh ou,” She responded.
“I love you too… Momma loves you too…” She turned and lay onto her side, holding the foal close and closing her eyes.
Starwhirl woke up to a knocking at the door, her foal curled up right by her belly. She carefully stood up, crawling around the sleeping foal as to not disturb her. After giving the filly a kiss on the forehead, she trotted over to greet her guest.
She opened the door, revealing her sister, Airburst. Airburst was a pegasus with a grey coat and black mane, her hooves the same shade of black. She was an inch taller than Starwhirl, and she had a big smile as she went in to hug the mare without warning.
“It’s been too long, Starry!” The pegasus exclaimed, squeezing her sister and giving her a long nuzzle on the cheek.
“It has, but please be quieter. Not everypony is awake,” Starwhirl whispered, nodding over toward the living room.
Airburst trotted a little further into the home, dragging some luggage behind her and gasping, putting a hoof over her mouth as she saw the little filly. “She’s so pretty!” She whispered back, looking between Starwhirl and the foal.
For the young foal, the yelling and whispering wouldn’t have mattered too much since she was a deep sleeper. She had her muzzle under one of her hooves, sleeping soundly.
Airburst trotted closer to her niece whilst smiling and leaning in to gently nuzzle at the foal’s little cheek. She smiled up at Starwhirl, moving back up and trotting closer to the mare.
“She’s a pretty, little filly. Her name is Perigee, right?” She whispered to her.
“Mhm. I just don’t want her to have to deal with the city. She didn’t like going to daycare, and they don’t really have maternity leave here… My boss ended up getting pissy with me over bringing the foal with me. You know a way to bring her and I with you? Back to Lunaria?” Starwhirl said in a hushed tone while sitting down, gently petting the young foal.
“Oh, yes, although it’ll be as dangerous as ever. The clouds have been restless lately. And uh… it’ll be tonight. They decided to push it ahead of schedule,” Airburst replied, looking down at the filly.
“We’ll just have to deal. She deserves better than this,” Starwhirl gently picked up the foal, grabbing her foal carrier from the coat rack and slipping it on, sliding little
Perigee into the carrier.
“Lucky I’ve got two of those quantum packers.”
Author's Note
What's a quantum packer?
Sorry for the wait! I had it mostly finished, but I also learned last minute that we had to move, and I had to unplug my computer as a result. I am back, though, and the chapters will be coming in again!
