Dental Dismay

It was the night before Christmas. As was tradition before Christmas, most of the stallions from Trottingham had taken to the bars and pubs for a drink, the faithful had flocked to the churches, and the unlucky were already wasted before the party had properly begun.

The earth pony stallion known as Rebound was already four whiskies deep into the night, being well regarded as a war hero, he had several ponies offer to buy him drinks, and being from a polite upbringing, it had been hard to simply turn them down. Of course, he knew when enough was enough and had politely excused himself back out onto the street to stumble home.

A unicorn stallion known as Hatter had tagged along for the walk and Rebound was doing his very best to keep him on the straight and narrow and out of trouble. It seemed like the gray unicorn wanted to get into trouble. Rebound wasn’t the most patient of ponies, but after bonding over drinks he felt somewhat responsible for him.

“Ah… Ansh… So, So… You see? I’m… Like… If you hadn’t of… Been there, I’sh I’d… I’d.. Have slashed em’” The gray stallion declared, before the black top hat that was barely staying atop his head glowed a deep shade of emerald green, floating from his head and vanishing into his jacket.

A moment later he drew a straight razor from his pocket using that same magic. He attempted to draw it with a flourish, but with so much alcohol in his system, his magic failed to keep a tight grip and he ended up tossing it towards an alleyway a short distance away.

Rebound felt astounded at his stupidity and arrogance in drawing a weapon before a member of the royal guard, but he kept such thoughts to himself. He would be home soon, and then he wouldn’t have to deal with this pony again.
“Yes, I’m sure you would have, and as a member of the Royal Guard, I would have then needed to beat you senseless.” Despite the amount of drink in his system, Rebound’s voice was as clear as ever.

Hatter waved one of his perfectly groomed hooves at the stallion in a dismissive fashion as he moved to fetch the blade, “Course you would’ve Mr Gimp.”
Rebound felt rage bubble up inside of him. After an unfortunate battle, he had suffered massive wounds to his body and wore a set of faux leather clothing to cover the scars. A leather jacket, boots, hood, along with a wooden domino mask that covered the top half of his face.
“I wear this because of-”

“Yeah, yeah… Sorry, come look at this shit!” The stallion said, completely disregarding the grave insult that he had just slighted Rebound with.
This stallion was drunk. After several seconds of slowing his breathing, Rebound moved over to the alleyway entrance as Hatter picked up and folded away his razor.

Rebound’s eyes peered into the darkness, the same shade of emerald green as Hatter’s, and just as easily able to punch through the dark. At the back of the alleyway was a plate containing a pot of tea, some of it already poured into a white china cup, and filling out the rest of the plate was a selection of piping hot crumpets with different toppings.
“What… The hell?” Rebound muttered, completely derailed form his anger.
“You think it’s like… A trap or smthin?” Hatter said, completely devouring half the letters of the final word.

Rebound adjusted his mask, “Do I think that the plate in the back of a dark alleyway containing some of my favourite food and drink is a trap? Even as drunk as you are, do you really think that’s up for debate?”

Hatter sat down slowly, the tail of his red felt jacket acting as padding against the cold cobbles as he stared at the plate of food. “Maybe someone dropped it?”
Rebound rubbed his hoof softly against his mask. This was making his brain hurt. “Maybe somebody dropped a full plate of still warm food in the back of an alleyway… I’m sorry, but just how fucking stupid are you?” Temper. His temper was climbing, and he shoved it deep down back inside.
“Well, what if like… They left it out for the homeless. What if I sneak in and swipe it from the side of the walls?”

Rebound let out a long, heavy sigh. Why did he feel so tired all of a sudden?
“Look, you really want to go eat the poison I’m not going to stop you, it’s my night off and I just want to get home.”

Hatter grinned like the cat that had gotten the cream, before his horn glowed brightly, magic wrapping around his hooves. Then the feminine stallion walked over to the side of the alleyway and pressed his front hoof against it.

With a slight push, he then begin to walk along the wall like some kind of spider. Rebound was tired and didn’t want to argue any more, so simply watched as the stallion scurried along the side of the wall like gravity wasn’t even a thing. Once he reached the side of the plate, his horn glowed brighter, grabbing a crumpet from the plate and bringing it to his maw.

He looked like the smuggest little bastard in the candy shop for a few moments, as nothing further happened. There was no huge trap, and he stepped down from the wall to pick up the plate.

Unfortunately, what he had failed to spot was the snare currently set on the ground, a snare that his back hoof landed in perfectly. In an instant it pulled taunt around his hoof and begin to pull him backwards. For a few moments, Hatter simply looked confused at where the rope was taking him, at least until the magical illusion that made up the back wall disappeared and revealed that he was in fact being pulled towards a large carriage on the other side of the street.

A carriage that had “Rarity’s Mobile Dental Clinic” plastered across the side of it in bold black letters. Upon seeing the words ‘Mobile’ the older gray stallion was already slightly scared, but the word ‘Dental’ sent him into a blind panic.

A shrill scream escaped his lips as he was pulled backwards towards it, his hooves desperately attempting to find purchase on the cold cobbles as his terrified face practically begged for help.
Of course, Rebound wasn’t about to leave him. With another long sigh, he begin to dash towards the carriage.

Hatter didn’t have much chance to fight, and was pulled into the back of the dental surgery before Rebound had even crossed half the street. Once this happened, there was the sound of a shutter slamming shut.

There was a metal shutter preventing him from entering the carriage itself, but before he begin to beat it in with his hooves, he noticed a metal intercom set just off to the side. He pressed the small button and the intercom let out a short buzz.

After a few moments, the speaker crackled softly and a feminine voice on the other side spoke up.
“Hello, can I help you?”
Rebound felt his brow furrow. “I think you just kidnapped my acquaintance?”
“Err… Proof?”
“I just saw it with my own two eyes?”
“No you didn’t Darling.”

Fuck. Bested again.