EXCLUSIVE: Where Are the Rainbooms Now?
It’s been two years since the legendary Rainbooms graduated from Canterlot High. But stories of their greatness still echo through our high school halls, drifting along like the rich scent of Granny Smith’s Friday Fish Sticks.
And how could we not talk about the Rainbooms? Rarity’s flawless style, Pinkie’s boundless energy, Sunset Shimmer’s effortless swagger… Ever since they saved me from a living meatloaf monster in sophomore year, I’ve thought about them every time I pass one of their lockers.
Some of my friends say I’m “obsessed,” but I know it’s what’s on everyone’s mind. My fellow students can hide their despair all they want, but CHS desperately misses its heroes.
That’s why I — Scribble Dee, Editor-in-Chief of the Canterlot High Sentinel — am taking it upon myself to track them down and answer our school’s most pressing question: Where are the Rainbooms now?
Like any good journalist, I start by reaching out to each of the Rainbooms for comment.
An anti-spam filter on Twilight’s email bounces my message back to me. A few minutes later, Rarity sends me a link to her online store.
I spend the next hour browsing her new line of golf-themed tennis skirts and “genuine” healing crystals, until my phone pings with a new email — it’s Fluttershy!
…Or, as it turns out, Fluttershy’s mother. Fluttershy is apparently spending a year abroad at an isolated butterfly sanctuary in Neighpal, and can only be contacted by carrier pigeon.
But that still leaves four Rainbooms. And lucky for me, I soon get a reply from someone who’s happy to let me interview her: Rainbow Dash.
When I enter the diner for my interview with Rainbow, I find her trying to impress a waitress by showing off how many tater tots she can fit in her mouth at once. When I sit down across from her, she jumps, tries to swallow all the tots, spends ten seconds choking, then calms down and shoots me a grin.
“What do you wanna know?” she says, eyes watering.
Over the next two hours, Rainbow regales me with tales of the Rainbooms’ incredible exploits. She laughs recounting the time she single-handedly saved the Earth from aliens with just a guitar solo; she cries remembering the moment she leapt in front of a bullet to save Fluttershy’s life. When I ask to see the “wicked” scar it left, she says she can’t hear me over the tears.
Who knew that being the frontwoman of a high school garage band could be so awesome?
Before I leave, Rainbow slips me her phone number. “Lemme know if you need any more cool Rainbow Facts,” she says, pulling out a cigarette.
“You smoke?” I ask.
“Of course,” she says, sticking the unlit cigarette between her lips, butt-side first.
When I meet Pinkie Pie outside her college dorm and explain the article I’m writing, she’s ecstatic.
“Aww, people still talk about us?” Pinkie says, blushing. “That’s so sweeeeeet~!”
I hold up my tape recorder. “When you started the Rainbooms, were you expecting this sort of legacy?”
“Nope. I just liked hanging out with my friends! I didn’t really care about the music that much.” Pinkie takes a quick look around, then leans in close and whispers, “I wasn’t even playing half the time! And no one ever noticed!”
“Yeah, I pretty much wrote all our best songs,” Rainbow says at the start of our third interview, flexing her muscles in front of a mirror. She nods to herself, then spins around and smirks at me. “Hey, did I tell you about the time I saved Twilight from getting shot?”
“I thought you saved Fluttershy?”
Rainbow blinks. “Oh, right.” She stands silent for a moment, then asks, “Can we start over?”
“Lemme tell you,” Applejack says as we walk through her orchard, “there ain’t nobody more discriminated against than bassists. I carried that band, and what do I get? Less attention than a bale of rotten hay.”
I frown. “That’s gotta be rough.”
“It was!” Applejack sighs and leans against a tree, then casts her gaze off into the horizon. Her eyes are clouded with painful memories.
But then she turns and gives me a big smile. “That’s why I’m in a ska band now! The music stinks, but they can’t play a lick if I’m not there!”
A bit after midnight, I get a text from Rainbow Dash: “U wanna hear my mixtape 🔥🔥”
“I really do miss it,” Sunset says when I visit the coffee shop she works at. Her hair is tied into a messy bun, and sweat lines her face. “I mean, who wouldn’t? Hanging out with great friends, meeting fans, getting to make amazing art? And that’s not even mentioning the literal magic. It’s a life most people only dream of.”
She leans on the counter and chuckles. “Us girls still talk, sure, but it’s not the same. The time you spend with your friends — you gotta cherish it. Because one day, all you’ll have are the memories.”
I think of all my friends — our laughs, our arguments, our unspoken love for one another. I think of the graduation ceremony hurtling towards us, and the mystery of what our futures might hold.
Stinging tears well up in my eyes. “That’s so true!”
“Yeah,” Sunset murmurs, handing me a napkin. Then her face sharpens into a glare. “Now are you gonna order something? You’re holding up the line.”
Dabbing my eyes, I glance at the mob of customers gathering behind me, then squeak, “I’ll have a muffin?”
Once I finish my interviews, I run back to CHS and write up my article. It goes out, all 300 words, in that week’s issue of the Canterlot High Sentinel.
And guess what? We manage to give out four copies! That’s a new record! I knew that CHS missed their heroes!
Only problem: It’s been a week, and Rainbow Dash won’t stop texting me. I know she’s a hero and everything, but can anyone help me block her number?
