In the Dystopian Future, Every Day Is Valentine's Day
Outside the school's windows a blizzard roared, just as it had all day and all night for the last six months. This same blizzard had enveloped Canter County, and spread outwards into the rest of the world.
In one classroom, Wallflower passed a box of cotton swabs to Sunset. "These are for the zucchini plants," Wally said. "Find a male flower, GENTLY swab the inside enough to get some pollen...and then rub the pollen on the pistil of a female flower. You remember how to do that?"
Sunset nodded. "So...is this how plants have sex?"
Wallflower blushed. "Maybe."
"How many plants having sex are we talking about, here? Did you ask me to help you with this just because you wanted to invite me to a huge plant orgy?"
Wallflower said, "I love each and every one of my plants! So this isn't just some meaningless plant sex fling. And if this is the only way we can grow proper squash without bees to pollinate for us...why SHOULDN'T our plant friends love us back by giving us delicious food to eat?"
"Mmm-hmm," Sunset nodded. "I understand." She stepped closer to Wallflower, and kissed her on the lips. "There. If I'm going to do YOU KNOW WHAT with thousands of plants, you can't blame me for wanting a little kiss to sweeten it."
Wallflower giggled, and returned the kiss. "I love you too."
As Sunset swabbed a male flower, Pinkie Pie rushed into the room. "Sunset!" she said. "Someone's at the front door!"
"So answer it."
"I'm serious! Come on! Luna says we have to set up a defense or something!"
"I guess you aren't kidding." Sunset ran out of the room, Wallflower close behind.
***
In the school's main lobby, Luna stood facing the front door. In doorways and behind overturned tables, several students and one teacher sheltered, holding various weapons.
Probably the most important was Wallflower. Before she'd ever attended CHS she'd practiced shooting her rifle every day, killing plant-eating pests, rodents and bunnies and little birds. She was CHS's best sniper.
Through the door's plate glass, Luna and the other defenders saw two visitors dressed in cold weather gear, dragging a human-sized bundle between them.
"I'd feel better about this if I could see their faces," Sunset said from behind a steel desk. Twilight sat on the floor beside her, gripping some kind of hand-held death ray. Sunset added, "I mean, who knows what we're really dealing with?"
"But if they ARE human," Luna said, "It makes sense that they'd wear masks to prevent frostbite."
"But what are those hoses for?" Sunset pointed. "Can't they breathe normal air?"
Twilight looked at a readout on her handheld tablet. "I think those are to prewarm the air before they breathe it, so it doesn't freeze their faces or their lungs. Outside CHS's...special shielding, the outdoor air is about ninety below. In Fahrenheit, I mean."
"Is that bad?" Sunset asked.
"About twenty degrees colder, and the carbon dioxide would start freezing out of the air. But we're keeping our guests waiting."
Sunset pulled her bowstring tighter. "If guests is the right word."
"I refuse to leave anyone outside to freeze to death," Luna said. "Flash, unlock the door...but if there's any sign of trouble, drop to the floor, to give your classmates a clear shot."
Flash Sentry came out of an adjoining hallway, went to the door, and unlocked it. He pulled the handle, and the two outsiders dragged in their bundle, letting the door shut behind them.
One of the mysterious figures pulled off its mask, exposing a freckled human face.
"Sour Sweet?" Twilight said. "You're alive!"
"I am SO happy to BE here!" Sour chirped, wiping snow off her forehead. "When Crystal Prep's student council picked ME to make this trip, I felt SO HONORED."
The other figure pulled off her mask. Sugarcoat said, "I'm pleasantly surprised. I honestly thought CHS would be a bunch of frozen corpses by now."
Luna forced a smile. "What a joyous bit of news, to hear Crystal Prep also has survivors. So to what do we owe the honor of your visit?"
Sugarcoat pointed at the human sized bundle. "This. Principal Cinch was getting on everyone's nerves. Also, we really don't have enough to eat. So she was voted off the island. So to speak."
Sour knelt, pulling at the bundle's ropes. "Don't anyone bother to help me. I'm so happy to do this all on my own, no matter how long it takes."
"While we're here," Sugarcoat asked, "does CHS have any spare food? At Crystal Prep, we seriously debated whether we should bring Cinch over here and dump her on you, or just kill and eat her ourselves. Just joking, ha ha."
"It's not a joke," Sour said flatly, as one rope came loose.
Principal Abacus Cinch's head wriggled free of its wrappings. "I am so glad to be free of those ungrateful brats," she said. "They have no sense of what is proper. No discipline. No--"
Sugarcoat bent down to refasten Cinch's gag. "We refused to follow your stupid orders," Sugarcoat said, poking Cinch with the toe of one snow boot. "And a good thing, too. If we hadn't built a sub-critical nuclear reactor just like Cinch DIDN'T want us to, Crystal Prep would be frozen solid, and we'd all be dead." Sugarcoat poked Cinch again. "Whatever any of you do, don't follow any of Cinch's advice. She has, like, an amazing ability to pick the wrong choice in any life or death situation. Look at what she did in the Friendship Games, and how she almost ended the world with a magical catastrophe, by talking Twilight into doing something stupid."
Twilight wrung her hands nervously. "I'm sure if something like that happens again, I'll be able to say no to Cinch." Twilight whispered to Sunset, "Please help me stand up to her better this time. I don't want to almost destroy the world AGAIN."
"Food," Sour Sweet said. "Please. We would trade for it, but we don't have much to give. Also, we don't have much time, because Crystal Prep doesn't really trust us, and if we don't go back in a few hours, our snow buggy is rigged to explode and take us with it."
Luna glanced over at Sunset. "I can't spare Wallflower from her current duties right now, but I know you've been helping her. Go get some spare vegetable seeds, from the ones Wally's been breeding, and wrap them up for our visitors." Luna sighed. "Pinkie, ask Granny Smith if she can spare a couple of early lunches for them, too."
"Yeppers," Pinkie saluted. She ran over to Luna, hugged her tightly, kissed her cheek, and ran towards the cafeteria.
"I see you have your own version of military discipline here," Sour Sweet said. "How NICE that when the world is ending, you still take the time to hug each other."
Sugarcoat shrugged. "Why not hug, if that's what you want to do. I mean, since everyone is going to die anyway."
***
When Pinkie returned carrying two lunch trays, Sugarcube said, "I can't believe it."
"I know it's amazing," Luna replied. "But it's the truth. Sunset recognized windigos in the blizzard, and she knew only love can hold them back. And Cadance knows a lot about love. She used to work as a matchmaker, and at a dating service. She still does a bit of matchmaking to keep her hand in. We owe our little community's survival to her. We're so lucky she happened to be visiting CHS when the cold snap started. She is so wonderfully helpful!" Luna smiled. "You can't help but love her, once you get to know her."
"That's stupid," Sugarcoat said. "Love can't...oh, I am SO hungry." She sat crosslegged on the floor, as Pinkie laid a tray down in front of her. Sugarcube ate like she was starving. Maybe she was.
"What she said." Sour Sweet grabbed a tray, and shoved food into her mouth.
"Should I get two more lunches?" Pinkie asked.
Luna shrugged. "Why not?"
***
After literally licking her third tray clean, Sugarcoat set it down on the floor. "So...love, huh?"
"Yes!" Pinkie agreed. "Love is all you need! Well, the main thing. Once you have enough love, everything else is easier!"
Sour checked her wristwatch. "Hey, Sugarcoat. We've got two choices. Either we move the snow buggy far enough away from CHS that the explosion won't level the building and kill us along with everyone else here, or we head back."
"Let's go back," Sugarcoat said. "These people have food, but the way they keep hugging and kissing each other is nauseating. I think they're a cult."
"I don't know why you keep talking like that," Flash said, as he, Sunset, and Fluttershy cuddled in an upholstered chair, into which they fit only by sharing each other's laps. "I'd want to do this even if it WASN'T our only hope of survival." He planted a kiss on Sunset's lips.
"Yeppers!" Pinkie said. "Sunset is cuddlier than she looks." She leaned in towards the chair, and added a kiss of her own. "I know she looks like she could be a big tough meanie...but she just CAN be one. She doesn't HAVE to be."
"Later," Sour said, as she and Sugarcoat masked back up.
In a muffled voice, Sugarcoat said, "Oh! One more thing." She shook her head. "No, never mind. Bye."
"Thank you for having us over!" Sour Sweet enthused. "Please tell Granny Smith I would have enjoyed her delicious cooking SO MUCH even if we WEREN'T having a famine right now!" She and Sour exited the school, leaving their former principal on the floor.
"Wow!" Pinkie said. "It's like Christmas came early! Who wants to unwrap our present?
"No volunteers? Ok, I'LL do it!" She skipped towards Cinch, knelt on the floor, and started unwrapping.
***
The next day, Pinkie said, "That wasn't a very good present."
"I don't think much of you either, young lady." Abacus Cinch scolded. "You lot have no discipline, no morals, and no--"
"How about we've shown you enough morals not to push you back out into the snow?" Sunset said. "You should give us some credit."
"The extent of your moral code is not committing first degree murder?" Cinch sneered.
"Yes!" Sunset grabbed the collar of Cinch's blouse. "Because YOU make that idea SO VERY TEMPTING!"
Pinkie rubbed her chin. "I think it would be more like minus one hundred degrees murder, not first degree."
The room's lights went dark, as the school's electricity failed. Sunset released Cinch, and turned towards Pinkie, hugging her. "I just want you to know I love you," Sunset said, kissing Pinkie's cheek. "I love you so much."
"I love you too!" Pinkie kissed Sunset's lips. "And you're a really good kisser. I'd want to kiss you even if it WASN'T a matter of life or death." She planted her lips on Sunset's again, and rubbed Sunset's shoulders and backside, while Sunset moaned appreciatively.
A minute later, the door opened. Square Root said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Twilight and Cadance are having trouble with the Heart. They want...a more Equestrian pair of eyes to look at it."
"Sure." Sunset released Pinkie, and tapped Square's shoulder. "Tagging you in. Make sure Pinkie knows you love her."
"Sure thing!" Square grinned, and hugged Pinkie. "I love you, Pinkie."
"And I love you too!" Pinkie growled, as her hands gripped Square tightly. "You're so little and cute...I feel like I could do anything I want with you. I mean, if that's ok."
Square sighed. "Anything you like, Pinkie. Anything is just fine with me. As long as it's YOU, and not HER." He pointed at Abacus, who sat scowling in the corner. "I don't think anyone likes her."
***
"I'm here!" Sunset said. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Well..." Twilight wrung her hands, and eyed a complicated tangle of wires and coils, the nearest portion of a machine that filled most of the room. "At first I thought the Crystal Heart's efficiency ratio was declining. But the more I check, the more I think that's not the problem at all."
"So what IS the problem?" Sunset asked. She kissed Twilight on the cheek. "I love you, by the way."
Standing next to Twilight, Cadance sighed. "It isn't the machine at all. The problem is...the atmosphere."
Sunset sniffed.
"No, not the air. The trouble is, no one likes Abacus. She isn't just grumpy, she's actively hostile. She seems to excel at going out of her way to annoy people." Cadance sighed again. "It's just like when I worked with her at Crystal Prep, except in this case, the problem could kill us all in a day or two. Without enough love, the Heart will fail completely. No electricity, no heat...and soon, no us."
"So what do you want me to do?"
Cadance put her hand on Sunset's shoulder, and kissed her. "You know I love you, right?"
"Sure! I love you too. You're the best dean I've ever had."
"Thank you." Cadance frowned. "I'm sorry I have to ask you to do this...but you ARE very lovable. And your turn in the Heart was coming up anyway. Also, I think you can intimidate Cinch into compliance, even if you have to tie her up and drag her in with you."
Sunset took a deep breath. "Sure. I can do that." She glanced up at the ceiling's darkened light fixtures. "I'll go do that right now, before the sun goes down and things get even worse."
***
Sunset, Flash, and Bulk Biceps had wrapped Cinch up in a blanket and ropes, and carried her to the Heart's room, where they laid her on the floor.
"Hmmph!" Cinch said. "Room One Oh One. How appropriate."
"What?" Sunset asked.
"Never mind. I know you people are operating some kind of mind control cult here. And you abuse Equestrian magic shamelessly. The only surprise is that you haven't already zapped me with some kind of magic wand."
Cadance pinched Cinch's nostrils shut. "It'll go easier on you if you drink this." Twilight held a tube, and waited.
Thirty seconds later, Cinch's mouth opened, and Twilight shoved the tube partway down her throat.
"Inserted!" Twilight said. Cinch made gagging sounds, and tried to move her head from side to side. "Abacus, try not to choke when Sunset pours the liquid in. Although when I think about how you terrorized me at Crystal Prep, maybe I wouldn't really MIND if you choked and died."
"Now, now!" Cadance said. "Less hate, more love. We should feel sorry for her. Abby has lived a very miserable existence until now, because every day she made everyone dislike her." Cadance smiled. "But we're going to fix that right now, aren't we? Oh yes we are. Yes we are, my dear Abacus. You're going to drink your num nums right now like a good girl, aren't you?"
After Abacus choked once, and spat up twice, Cadance said, "I think we've gotten enough down her. It should work. And if it goes harder on her, it's her own fault. Sunset, it's time."
Sunset dragged Cinch into a closet sized chamber within the machine. Sunset said, "Ready! Lock us in, and energize!"
The door slammed shut with a dull thud.
Sunset smiled at the prune-faced former principal. "Cinch, you don't know it yet, but this is the luckiest day of your life." Sunset reached towards a lever, and pushed it from "off" to the next-lowest setting.
***
Sunset asked, "Can I untie you yet? Are you going to be ok?"
"Of course you can untie me, Sunny." Abby giggled. "You shouldn't tie a girl up until at LEAST the third or fourth date. That's what I hear, anyway." Abacus pouted. "I want a hug."
"Ok...I'm going to trust you on this." Sunset untied the ropes, and slowly rolled Abacus over, slid her sideways, and pulled on one side of the blanket, until Abacus was free. Abacus sat up.
"Hug!" Abacus said. "Hug me."
"Ok." Sunset cautiously hugged the ex-principal.
Abacus sang a little song. It sounded familiar to Sunset.
"Unleash the MA-gic! Unleash the MA-gic...da da da DA da da da da DA DA DA..." Abacus giggled. "My worries, my frustrations, my headache...all gone! I feel so free. The magic is GOOOD."
Sunset said, "I'm so happy I was able to help."
Abacus giggled again. "You might think I don't care about anyone or anything except myself, and Crystal Prep's precious reputation. But that's not true."
"I know, Abacus. Everyone who goes into the Crystal Heart learns to love--"
"I mean, before the Heart. Before Cadance's silly little potion. I saved the world, Sunset. I cared about each and every person in the whole world...so I SAVED us."
Sunset stared.
"Sunset...the world was in danger from global warming. And no one was willing to work together to stop it. The icecaps were going to melt, and flood the coasts. These last two years, abnormal heat waves have just DEVASTATED crop yields, and it was getting worse and worse! Humanity was doomed. But I knew I could find a solution."
Abacus beamed proudly.
"Because I knew about your little Equestrian magic portal, and how to access it. I went to Equestria, and I found a solution for our world."
Abacus pulled Sunset close, nestling the redhead's head under the principal's chin. "And I did it for you, Sunset. I did it because I love you. I love everyone, Sunset. I love everyone so much," Abacus crooned.
Abacus caressed Sunset's hair. "And yes, the plan has run into a few rough spots. But I'm sure people will finally learn we have to care about each other, and cooperate. After all, humanity wouldn't destroy itself just because of selfishness and...stupid stupid stupidheads. Right?"
Sunset clenched her teeth. "And when your little plan worked...were you hoping to get credit? Admiration? Fame?"
"I suppose." Abacus' eyes' unfocused, as if she stared into a nonexistent distance. "After all, the savior of all humanity does deserve a little credit, don't you think? And maybe, when people finally understand how much I did to save this world...maybe someone would finally love me?" Abacus pursed her lips, then smiled again. "And it worked! People DO love me! You love me, right? Sunset?" Abacus groped for Sunset' hand, but missed it. "Tell me you love me, just like I love YOU. Tell me I was right to save you from...burning up. The hot thing."
Sunset wanted to scream. She wanted to say, you're the most shortsighted and selfish and stupid person I've ever met in either of TWO worlds!
But if she took out her anger on Abacus, Sunset thought, even if she started by only shouting...would she be able to hold herself back? If Cadance opened the Heart to find Sunset and a beaten corpse...Sunset didn't think that would turn out well for anyone.
And if Sunset found the strength of will to suppress her own anger, to let Cinch off without so much as a scolding...could Sunset really trust Cinch not to make the mistake of telling someone else what she'd done? How Cinch had turned the world into a howling nightmare of snow and ice?
Not a very lovable thing to do, dooming the world like that.
And the truth was, now Sunset really kind of hated Cinch.
Sunset sighed. She had only one choice.
She reached out, grasping the control lever.
Sunset said, "You should probably lie down again, Abby. You aren't used to the Heart at all, and I'm going to put it on the absolutely highest setting."
Abby smiled. "Don't worry, Sunset. Love feels so wonderful. I'm sure love can't really hurt us."
Sunset pushed the lever upwards.
***
Cadance opened the Heart. Inside, on the floor, Abacus and Sunset embraced tightly. Sunset nuzzled and licked Cinch's face.
Cinch blinked once, then twice. Her mouth moved, but no speech came out.
Sunset slowly turned her head to look at Cadance, and smiled. "Abacus Cinch loves us. She loves us more than she can say."
Cadance noticed a wound on Abacus' throat, as if someone had performed an emergency surgery on the administrator's vocal cords, and clumsily sewn the incision shut.
But why would anyone do such a thing?
Sunset's hand patted Cinch's cheek. "I love Abacus Cinch too."
Author's Note
If you enjoy reading reimaginings of a certain classic novel by George Orwell, there's also Blueshift's cheerful "Nineteen Neighty-Four." (link)
