Gus barely said a word to her through the appointment. He discussed what he wanted to wear with Rarity, who seemed more than a little bewildered by his insistence in covering certain parts in basically everything he wore.

Even a fashion designer like her saw the world more or less the same way as Iron Feather—without any idea that ponies should wear anything more than what was both useful, expressive, or some combination.

He wanted outfits to explore and film in, describing more or less what clothes from back home might look like if they were converted for use by a mythical griffon. Maybe he was telling the truth about his plan to visit an "aerie" of griffons and film before going home.

Lotus waited in a corner, wishing she could melt into the floor and vanish completely.

Iron Feather sat just beside her while they waited, one wing draped over her shoulder. He said nothing—there could be no privacy while Rarity took her measurements. She caught the occasional sympathetic expression, though little more.

He doesn't know why I'm embarrassed, she thought. Even if I was born this way, I'd have a reason. We were barely even dating! No engagement, no marriage. No idea what I'm doing or what's going to happen to me.

Not even Spark had anything to say. The little presence was there, watching with impassive curiosity. But she had no help to offer.

"What about you?" Rarity asked. It couldn't be that much later, though there was no longer any light outside. "You're from the same place as the bird there. Is your list of requests as... extensive?"

She shook her head, rising. "Nothing like that, no. Just... maybe a dress? I had this one I really liked that burned when the Svalinn went down." She described it as best she could, from the red floral print to the kimono's distinctive cut.

Lotus lacked the vocabulary to talk fashion like this mare could—but even so, Rarity seemed entranced. "That sounds... quite remarkable! I'm not entirely certain I can match the description you've given exactly—but if you'll leave me free to take a few liberties, I believe you'll be satisfied with the outcome."

"That would be great." She smiled back at the mare, tail curling around her hind-legs. "And maybe... I'm not sure if it's possible. But if you could make saddlebags out of fireproof fabric... that would be amazing." She tilted her head to one side, fluffing out her mane a little. "No matter how hard I try, I keep ending up around fire."

The unicorn laughed politely, maybe a little nervous. "Y-yes. That's quite a unique challenge. More than most I've faced, I'll admit. There’s an earth pony I know with some experience… Is that all?"

She hesitated. Lotus didn't need much of anything. Most ponies she saw wore very little on a daily basis. There was something beautifully simple about it all. "A jacket for the cold. And maybe... something a little more casual? I don't have a lot of ideas about how it should look. Whatever you think would look good."

Rarity clicked her tongue. She gestured for Lotus to rise, then guided her to the center of a platform. "Hold still while I take measurements. I have a few griffon forms, but nothing suitable for a kirin. A moment."

She brought the measuring tape across Lotus's body in several different directions. Backwards, forward, sideways—under and behind and everywhere else. Rarity had no need to use her hands (which she didn't have), so the process was almost painless.

Then they were finished, and Rarity tucked her clipboard under one leg. "I'm not sure when Twilight plans to save the day, exactly. But if there's a royal ball in the aftermath, I'll be certain to have that part of your wardrobe prepared in time. The rest may take a little doing. I've never known a griffon to care so deeply about fashion before."

Lotus glanced towards the door, where Gus and Iron had taken to waiting just outside. The Equestrians might not know or care what modesty was, but Gus and Lotus did. At least she got that little sliver of privacy.

"He's a special kind of bird," Lotus answered. "Thanks for all this. Hopefully we make it back to enjoy any of it."

The unicorn laughed. "I wouldn't worry yourself too greatly over that. Searing Gale might seem a terrifying threat, but she's not the first or the worst beast we've overcome together. I don't doubt for a second there's a victory waiting for Equestria at the end of all this."

For Equestria, repeated that little voice in her head. Not herself, she could never sound that high pitched. But what about us?

Lotus could only nod gratefully. Who was she to question a pony who was already granting her so much generosity? And she was an Element of Harmony, whatever that meant. Something important in Equestria for sure!

She rejoined Gus and Iron just outside the shop, with the windows already dark and the doors locked. Gus walked right up to her. "Iron, could we have a minute? I'd like to talk to my friend about something."

The pegasus looked uneasily at her. "Lotus?"

She nodded weakly. "It's okay, Iron. Know anywhere we could get something good for dinner? Maybe you could put our name in."

He glanced down at his holstered spear, then back at them. "You know where the Royal Hitchrack is?"

Gus nodded. "Sure, we'll be right there. Or—Lotus will. I'm not hungry. It won't take long."

Iron gave her one last glance, then took off, gliding down the street. Lotus didn't point out that Gus had said he wasn't coming, so she wouldn't know where to go. Someone could give her directions.

Only when Iron was up and away did Gus say anything. "Look, it's not my life. I know it's not my place to tell you what to do. If you want to play Captain Kirk with the locals, that's your decision."

He moved up beside her, until he was inches from her face. "I don't know how it feels to get my guts replaced like you did. But don't you think you're moving too fast? There won't be any of Eric left at this rate. How are you going to change back now? Will you leave a kid behind?"

She met his eyes, defiant. She still felt guilty about Gus, and she probably owed him more money than she could ever repay. But that didn't mean she would let him make life choices on her behalf.

"I'm not going back," she said. No hesitation, no anger, just simple confidence. "Maybe to visit, if that ends up being possible. But I'm not worried about leaving kids behind, because I'm not going. They'll still have me."

Gus was silent for a few seconds. He looked her over, with an intensity only the sharp eyes of a griffon could manage. "You're okay with this? You wanted a kid that bad?"

She shook her head once, backing away from him. "Not so soon. I don't think I'm ready. But since I'm here, I'm okay with it. I've never felt anything like what I do for Iron."

"I didn't even know you were gay. You never brought a guy to my place before."

She shrugged. "I can't explain it. Maybe it's mind control, maybe it's just what happens when you go through hell with someone. Point is, I'm okay being Lotus Cinder. She has more of a life than Eric ever did."

Gus glared back at her for a few more seconds. Whether he was going to attack her or flee into the sky, Lotus couldn't tell. Her horn began to glow, if only for light.

But no—this was Gus, not some dangerous stranger. He sighed, both wings sagging flat to either side. "I knew this was happening. Ever since we got to Hono, you were different. I guess neither of us really had a place in Livingston. Now you do."

"Now we both do," she said. "If we live through this, Equestria isn't going to banish us. I'm sure Princess Luna could change you back. With some time, I could send you home. But maybe that isn't what you want either."

He held something up in one claw, the camera. "Then what was it for? I came to capture all this knowledge and share it with the world. To share our experiences. How much better would the world be if people could use magic like ponies do?"

Lotus had no answer to that. It wasn't the magic itself that made a world good or bad, but how they used it. Ponyville could grow abundant crops with magic, and Searing Gale could burn them with her own awful spellcraft. "Don't know. But they aren't mutually exclusive. You could still make your movie, still share it with Earth. We could go back to visit, maybe."

"Maybe." He slipped the camera back into his satchel. "What about your family? You're going to tell them you're a... kirin mom in another universe? You're never going to see them again?"

"I'm not a mom yet," she said. "And I'm not sure, maybe. Guess it depends on how much magic I can learn. If I can change you into a griffon, maybe I can help my sister out of her chair. I couldn't find all this without sharing it. Can't be worse than thinking I died in a house fire."

"Probably don't think we're dead. No bodies, car speeding away from the scene. Maybe they think you killed me? Or the other way around. I owned more guns than you."

Lotus forced a smile, then held out her hoof. "You're the scary griffon. Sharp claws and beak and all."

"And you burned the house down." He took it, face worn and grip weak. "You really think you could be happy this way? Never having two legs again, never being Eric again?"

She nodded. "I don't know if it's really never or not. But if it is, I'm happier now than I ever was. No more boxing produce, no more driving to the same dead-end job in the middle of nowhere. No more getting a few hours out of the house on weekends if I'm lucky. This is better."

Gus released her hoof. "If you're okay with everything else you lose, I guess that makes sense. Just don't forget, I'm still trying to get home. You're the one with the princess's ear, so you have to make sure they remember."

She hugged him—not too tight, or too close. But it felt like the right thing to do. Gus had lost as much as she had and gained less in exchange. He needed friends now more than ever. "I won't forget, promise. When this is all over, I'll make sure you can go home. If that's still what you want."

She met Iron Feather at the restaurant for one last meal together before the end. Nopony at the nearby tables asked to be moved this time.

"I feel like this is gonna be it," Iron said. "That's how the unicorns talked about it. Either this spell works, or Equestria is out of ideas."

She nodded. Twilight argued that point several times, insisting that Equestria would find a way regardless of whether she wanted to help with the plan. But Lotus knew optimism when she heard it—the Alicorn didn't really know any other ways to stop Searing Gale, she just wouldn't accept they were doomed.

"Even if Equestria finds another way, I don't think I'll get to. Searing Gale let me live last time—I don't think she'll be very forgiving. I'll be the first to burn."

She reached across the table, catching his hoof with hers. "Don't worry, you'll be next. She knows who you are too. We all get to burn together."

Iron looked down at her leg, resting his own against it. "But that won't happen. Searing Gale has all the power in the world, but she doesn't have unicorns like ours."

"Thaumaturgy is more than power," Lotus said. Not her words of course, but Twilight's. She couldn't work beside the princess without picking up a few things. "It emerges from the connection between ponies. The stronger their bonds, the stronger the magic. Searing Gale fights alone, but we're together. We'll win."

She spent another night with him in Twilight's castle, possibly her last. She needed sleep for the day ahead. But more than simple energy, Lotus needed a reminder of why she fought.

One last battle, one victory, and no one in her new world would need to fear anymore. The worry would end, and she could live instead. The other details—her old family, starting a new one, Gus's decision—would all work themselves out.

She didn't sleep as quickly as the pegasus. She remained beside him, curled up in the giant, comfortable bed. She would join him in unconsciousness soon.

Hope you're ready for tomorrow, Spark. Big day.

Somehow, she knew the voice would be there. Once Searing Gale, now something else.

Nothing more for... me, it said. Not after tomorrow.

Why not? she asked. That wasn't a worry she felt—it couldn't be. Lotus owed the interloper nothing. That was why she'd worked so hard to make the spell safe, and refused to remove the fetus, and...

The spell breaks my old... necromancy, she said. I won't be conscious anymore. It was already happening... bigger this body gets. But no more waiting now. No more helping you. You decide whether we keep burning or go out. Hope you were paying attention.

She drifted on the edge of sleep, feeling that other tiny presence inside her. Weeks of practice gave her a far sharper sense of where it came from. Her belly, obviously. Will you remember?

Nothing, she said. According to the Alicorn. Maybe that's... okay. Most of what I remembered was anger, bitterness, loss. If I don't need me anymore, then... I trade it all for a heartbeat.

A different life, Lotus agreed. One where all the things Searing Gale hated are your best qualities, not the worst. Doubt and fear, maybe—but love and compassion and mercy and everything else. Everything she thinks makes her weak. She's wrong.

Easy to say, whispered the voice, smaller than she had ever heard it. In success or failure, only you will ever know.

And I won't tell you. If we live, you won't be her anymore. We both get to be someone new.

If Searing Gale was right, at least Lotus Cinder wouldn't have to carry her shame for long.

Morning brought Lotus up to Twilight's workshop one final time.

The space had been transformed, with bookshelves and desks all pushed aside to leave a large empty space at the room's center. The princess had copied the complex spell diagram directly onto the floor, writing with a grease-pen in perfect, regular lines. Lotus stepped over the diagram, checking it over as she walked.

"You'll see the last part of the loop over there," Twilight said, nodding towards it. "The rest is the same as yesterday. I just finished it off." She levitated a scroll towards Lotus, unrolling it in the air.

She caught it in her magic, flattening it carefully for inspection. This was the spell meant to save Equestria, or at least the first part. It worked along a line already left by Searing herself, pulling apart the creature at the seams until the bond was severed. It wouldn't take much—Searing Gale had already separated herself from her kirin half.

All this complexity was here for what happened after, to protect the spirit inside Lotus. If she wanted to kill it, there were easier ways than this.

"I like what you've done here. This spelling is... elegant. Better than anything I could've written."

The Alicorn beamed at the praise. "I wouldn't sell yourself short, Lotus Cinder. You're a very promising student. But this was more about working quickly than facilitating learning, so... the rest of your instruction may have to wait for a better time. If you were younger, I'm positive Celestia's school would've taken you. But now—you might have to learn another way."

Lotus moved into the center of the diagram, where all the spell's clauses pointed. "I'd feel better about this if we had more time. Another month, and this would be perfect."

"What happens to the other half of Searing might not be... great," Twilight admitted. "But I've been very careful about everypony inside the spell. You and the baby will be fine. You shouldn't feel a thing."

Maybe she wouldn't—but the same couldn't be said for her passenger. The voice said nothing, but she felt it all the same, as though an invisible creature riding her had just clinched her teeth together and buried her face in Lotus's back. Spark hadn't fought her while they made the spell, and she didn't fight now.

"Guess I'm ready." She faced Twilight, holding up the scroll. "I know what part I have to read. What happens when we do it?"

"Airship waiting up there," Twilight answered, pointing at the ceiling. "We go up and fly straight for Searing Gale."

"We haven't talked about what I'll be doing. Should I have been practicing other magic too?"

Twilight rested onto her haunches, settling another copy of the spell onto the floor in front of her. "You shouldn't have to do anything, just be there to help us cast another spell—on her, not you. We should focus on this one first. Wouldn't want to rip you in half instead!" She laughed nervously, running her magic through her frazzled mane.

Lotus wobbled. Part of her wanted to jump out of the diagram and break into a gallop—had she really agreed to this?

Then she saw Gus lingering in the doorway. The griffon held up one claw in a thumbs-up, then muttered something to the little dragon standing beside him. He'd convinced Twilight's assistant to moonlight as his cameraman!

"Ready," she said. "Let's do this."

Author's Note

And another awesome piece by klaraPL for this chapter. Understanding has been reached.