Adventures in the TARDIS

Medical Log: Psi C-6186

Goodness me! I haven’t made a log entry in this fashion since I was a foal, and that was centuries ago! Oh sure, I made plenty of log entries in the past but seldom through direct magical imprints straight to a crystal. Usually I go through another medium like my computer.

I say this now for the record because that won’t be clear later on. Data is still stored in this medium one way or another. When I call up this file with my computer, it won’t look any different then so I figured I’d give this mention now for the record.

Normally I don’t like to do this. It makes the filing system a little disorganized, at first, but it’s still nice to know that I still could use this method if I have to. Nothing is stopping me from doing this, but part of me feels like a cavewoman for my efforts here.

But that is an apt description, isn’t it? Using primitive methods seems to be a theme of my life lately, and not just my life. I respect Daring’s reasoning and instincts for her arguments, and so far we probably have gotten further with these ponies who simply call themselves; The Tribe. Part of me feels like scoffing at that naming convention. What? Was “The Ponies” already taken? Sheesh.

But I would like to state, for the record, I am having a blast out here. For centuries I have been an enthusiast in studying history. I didn’t just read about such texts. I sort of lived it in holographic simulations which are usually dubbed “Simulated Imaginings”. Basically it shows what ponies think olden times must have been like based on the records and evidence we found.

Personally, I find such musings to be amusing in the same way I might like a fictional story, but when it comes to true history then all I want is the facts. All I want to know is what actually happened in the past. I want authenticity and beyond. I want to know more than just the technical facts like the measurement of various structures. I also want to know what it was like to actually be there in that moment sociologically and psychologically. I want the full story. I want the complete package.

Yet time travel, up until my recent history, seemed like a pipe dream. Just a casual musing of, “Huh. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Sigh. “Oh well.”

But no. The Doctor made this actually possible, and he is a legendary figure in history too. My people were very much interested in him as well since he helped to rescue us from our former oppressors. Ever since then, we kept a sharp, vigilant eye out for any noteworthy facts and stories about him. Whole archives is dedicated to that one Time Lord alone. We even sent out expedition teams to go out there and gather more evidence about him. It’s funny to think that his mere shadow has helped to spawn some of the most adventurous careers my society has to offer.

In all that time, though, I didn’t think any of that would happen to me. He did sound fun and interesting and I did envy him for his ability to more directly visit and explore the past, but it always felt like he was way over there, and I’m here. Our paths are not likely to align. Why would they? Why would he be interested in me of all ponies?

But then I did start to notice patterns and evidence that I might come across him. Despite that, I denied that for the longest time, but now? Wow! Here I am! I am actually witnessing this! An ancient and forgotten ceremony of a primitive tribe from pre-history. If only I was allowed to record this, I could have used that data to update and correct some of the records of the Maji.

Now that I am witnessing this, I find myself envying yet another aspect of the Doctor. The entire reason my race has a limited lifespan, despite our ability to regress our physical age (and sometimes make other optional adjustments while we’re at it), our physical brain’s total capacity to store knowledge is still limited. By regressing our physical age but leaving our brains untouched, there is more of a point to the process. We can expand our life spans without giving up our valuable knowledge, but eventually we run into another problem. We can’t possibly store any further information without giving something up.

Centennial Psychosis is no joke. I have seen what happens to patients who go through it. That’s my purview as a trained psychologist. As such, I know very well the side effects from both a physical and psychological standpoint. Everything breaks down which also means there’s no further reason to qualify for another age regression. That’s the true end of the line.

I’ve been well aware that the patients who studied a lot and gathered a great deal of data are also the ones who tend to go through the Psychosis first. The brains only have so much plasticity. They can only be stretched so far. Every step I’ve taken in my journey has hastened that process. I remained aware of that through the vast majority of my life, but for me, quantity of life isn’t the only measurement of value. Quality is too, and I would even argue that is more important. What is likely to cause fewer regrets at the end of one’s life? A short one that is well lived, or a long one that feels wasted?

For me personally, the answer is obvious.

In most of my time, I have merely studied history from afar because that seemed all I could do. Most of my kind do not even go that far. That is why part of me felt irked that my fellow Maji hardly ever was interested in my personal opinion about history. Instead of that, they tend to rather trust a simulated holographic teacher that is controlled by an A-I. It’s as if the mere fact that we mortals are capable of flaws means we should automatically not trust ourselves, but it’s not as if A-I is perfect either. To be perfect, they’d have to be designed by perfect beings and where are we going to find that? Even when programs create other programs, they started their existence designed by imperfect beings. Any structure can only be as good and as flawed as its base foundation.

But now that I am here and personally witnessing this, I find the concept of the ever approaching Centennial Psychosis bothering me because it means I won’t have as much time to enjoy this. Now that my life has finally skyrocketed to astronomical value, it also stings to realize that this is all hastening my end.

I wish I could be more like the Time Lords, or Time Ladies as the case may be. They are of an entirely alien nature and their limitations are very different accordingly. They can store so much more information in their brain before meeting their final end. In fact, they seem to have no trouble storing potentially unlimited data in their brains. Instead of that, it is their regeneration cycles that limit them. However long or short each life is, that, in turn, accumulates to their total sum lifespan. If they really want to see the end of eternity, or get as close as possible to it as they can, then they have to make each of their limited number of extra lives last as long as possible.

Just like me, I think quality is just as important, if not more so, then quantity to the Doctor as well. For this reason I have an easy time considering him a kindred spirit. As his psychologist, I try to keep some professional detachment from him but I’m only a Maji. Feelings are a part of our existence and I can’t help but find him fascinating even before I met him.

In one of our previous counseling sessions, he once told me that he wasn’t what was considered a typical example of a Time Lord. In fact he was often regarded as a rebel. He defied the status quo by being bold and adventurous. He dared to go out there and fraternize with the ordinary mortals. He didn’t lord himself over them. He joined them instead.

That, in turn, made many of his kind squint in disgust, especially the upper echelon of his society. He once said that they said something like, “You are a highborn noble Time Lord. How dare you don’t act like it. Why are you trouncing out there in time and space among ordinary mortals? You’re making the rest of us look bad.”

It’s hard to say how I would have felt if I was born and raised in his society. Statistically speaking I likely would have sided with the majority. When one grows up constantly taught the values of a certain society it is hard to say if one would have conformed or be an outlier.

Speaking for my life personally, though, I think I am the latter. I was more willing to explore what is out there than most of my fellow Maji. The vast majority were too busy playing video games and other similar activities. Entertainment and leisure is the name of their game which is fine for them. I don’t judge them for it, but for me? I want something that feels more meaningful to me and that means doing something outside of a simulated environment. To do something real that has a true impact.

As it stands, if I was, or later become, a Time Lady somehow, I think I would have been, or would be, a rebel just like the Doctor. The reason I say that is because I want a more meaningful impact in life and that means digging into the trenches and getting into the nitty-gritty. To be willing to risk it all and suffer along with every other being in exchange for intense and impactful existence. I love the idea of not only being an explorer throughout time and space but helping others along the way. That, in turn, affirms I made a significant impact along the way as I go. Not just for myself, but for others too. To not just be a reader or witness of history but to be a participant in it too. To know that I mattered just as much as any other pony I come across in history.

The Time Lord race has more time to do that. That, in turn, means they could explore further if they wanted to. There can be a greater total sum to their experiences before they finally pass away for good. With the glimpse I’ve already gained, I already wish I had more time to explore a greater percentage of what’s out there. I’d be excited for that! I feel like a little foal again except now I’m lamenting that I’m actually near the end of my line.

What a taunt. My story was finally getting pretty good.

Anyway, the ceremony of The Tribe is remarkable to behold, but I’m not getting as close of a look at it as the other members of my team. Now that they have announced their intentions to join the ceremony, they have since been taken away to be fashioned with some kind of temporary and ceremonial tattoos. I’d be interested to know what their thought process is with that juncture, but it seems largely symbolic and unique to me. Based on what I’ve seen so far, which is later verified when I finally did see the rest of my team, each of them is given a unique tattoo which I can only compare to a cutie mark. It’s not as colorful but the same base principle seems to be there. There’s no “one size fits all” concept here. Instead, The Tribe seems to put greater emphasis on getting to know each pony individually, then giving a mark based on that information.

That’s so fascinating to witness!

I’m the only one of my team that chose to abstain from this ceremony and that largely has to do with the drug aspect of it. There’s also the fact that I know we’re about to leave soon. Only Daring has an actual further objective with these ponies. The rest seem to be just going along with the flow and having fun. It’s about being polite, strengthening bonds, and for Feather, he claims there is an inner exploration aspect to this as well.

I already know him well enough to know he’s telling the truth. There is a duality to him that I find fascinating. I’d love it if he became my personal guinea pig so I can study him more closely and get a better idea how his mind works.

To their credit, the rest of The Tribe seems largely polite to me regarding my decision but they also seem a tad stand offish as well. At the same time I note surprise in some of them that Margret chose to participate. She is among Those Above and the Tribe is accustomed to them being arrogant and ignorant, at least according to the opinion of the Tribe. They see Those Above as those who put more faith in their technology rather than the technology of their own bodies.

To The Tribe, inner exploration is just as important as outer exploration so they regard Margret’s decision as surprising in a good way. They seem to applaud her for being willing to step beyond the bounds of what is normal for her society which, to these ponies, means being bold and brave enough to break free from the restricting chains of the society of Those Above.

That seems to be a pattern to those that gather around the Doctor and those that he travels with. Even his companions seem to keep on attracting the outliers and rebels of society. Any society. Whoever they are and wherever they came from, a willingness to be different from the norm seems to be what is normal for this group. I, for one, feel honored to be part of that.

When the actual ceremony took place, which was at night, there was a roar of a giant campfire. I get the impression that this one was much bigger than was normal for the Tribe. Around that fire was a lot of dancing and chanting which seemed oddly synchronized with each other. This was especially impressive considering they were all impaired by the drug in their system. Despite that, or perhaps because of it, they were in sync with each other even without practice.

I read about such a phenomenon in ancient pony societies too. How whole towns full of ponies can just suddenly drop whatever they are doing and spontaneously sing and dance in sync with each other and without any prior practice for that event. A lot of scholars in my time call it “Herd mentality” which they think is a holdover of more ancient times like this one.

Out of all of them, which include the Tribe, I think two in particular stand out among this crowd. Derpy for her singing, which seems to reverberate to an almost ethereal quality during the ceremony, and Feather Wind who made nature itself dance along with them. I once looked up and was in awe of seeing a spiral in the clouds above which, at first, I thought was the beginnings of a whirling tornado. That I was looking straight up at it and saw what such a thing would look like from the center. A flashing storm cloud whirled in the outer border of this quasi-tornado too.

I still can’t believe how powerful that little blue stallion truly is. One wouldn’t tend to think so either when one first looks upon him. Between the way he looks and the way he acts, one typically wouldn’t get the impression that he really can cause the sky to crash down but I have enough training to see beyond the obvious and into the subtle. There is a depth to him that I don’t think even he fully realizes yet but he is trying to. He is exploring it even while part of him seems afraid of it. Judging based on what I have seen he can do to that sky, I don’t blame him for being a little nervous of his inner potential even while he’s simultaneously curious about it. If he’ll let me, I’ll help him to work on that. That might even be urgent.

I heard the term, “Sky Shaman” floating around the camp at times in reference to Feather Wind and The Tribe spoke of it with such reverence in their voice.

Then again, they seem to treat pretty much everything as sacred. If everything is held up to such lofty standards, then I have to wonder how they learn to differentiate between it. Saying that everything fits one category of description is equivalent to just saying, “It’s there.” I wonder what their basis of comparison is.

I need to study this further! I feel giddy with the chance for me to add this contribution to science!

It catches Daring off guard to be surrounded by dancing and singing ponies and they are gone in the next moment. She felt so lost in her own trance that she can’t even exactly be sure when it happened. All she knows is, when she finally came down from some kind of high, everypony is gone.

The village is still there. That includes the giant campfire, the drums they played, the decorated ceremonial spears that they spun with over their heads and occasionally jabbed it into the fire. Every physical object was there, but nothing living remained anymore.

Daring takes a deep breath and releases it before she takes in her surroundings further and notices other details that are off. The sky, for instance, can’t seem to make up its mind about whether it is day or night. There is night blue above which is mixed with hues of dawn pink in some areas of the sky. Between them is a hazy line like a desert mirage.

Taking things in further, she notices that everything around her local environment is hazy like a mirage. There seems to be some fluidity to the air too as if she’s under water, yet she isn’t drowning and she doesn’t feel the pressure of being under water. Waving her hooves about as a test, she finds she can wave them as fast as she normally would in typical air were it not for some kind of wiggling sensation around her that makes her a bit dizzy.

It is only then that it occurs to her that she still might be in a trance. This might even be an out of body experience. She’s had enough of those in a few adventures in her past to realize this experience is similar enough to those that it may serve as a plausible explanation. The point of this ceremony seems to encourage this anyway.

But . . . she already has her cutie mark, so . . . why is she really here?

Eventually she notices that the environment is brighter in a certain direction behind these tents. This draws her attention and makes her curious. Before venturing in that direction, she gives one final scan about her local area to check if anything else here seems to try to grab her attention. Not noting anything else especially noteworthy, she looks back at the direction of the tent, crouches down while spreading her wings upward in a V pattern above her back, then leaps up while flapping her wings down. This causes her to shoot upwards then flap her way above the rims of the tents.

Beyond that, she quickly spots a shift in the environment which she is certain wasn’t there before. This area of the village used to be pretty dry with a few sparse trees, but now the area behind the tents quickly shifts into a grassy area that is so sudden, it’s as if the tents had drawn an imaginary line across the plain.

Further ahead, there is a medium size pond and a waterfall feeding into it. A slight haze of a rainbow is in the mist around that waterfall. This area is as bright as daylight. That waterfall sails up a small rocky cliff about twenty feet high.

Cautiously, Daring Do lands at the edge of the pond then creeps up to view her reflection down in the water. She often heard it is dangerous, or at least unusual, to stare at one’s own reflection in a dream-like or spiritual-based environment because such realms don’t work like normal physical reality. What they show tends to reflect what is more inward rather than outward and that can be startling to the uninitiated.

Since Daring Do was aware of that, though, it is probably why she is more prepared to see the reflected image of her own filly self rather than the adult mare she knows she became. She marvels at the reflection for a moment before looking back at her own hoof and confirming the fact that her body is still that of an adult mare, but the image in the rippling water insists she’s still a filly. Her filly self is even wearing the same temporary tribal tattoos except it’s smaller to match the smaller proportion size.

As a test, Daring Do slaps her hoof into the water and causes her reflected image to ripple much further, temporarily beyond the point of recognition. She continued to watch as the waters calm back down. Eventually she notices the image has changed to reflect her adult self, yet she sees a tiny spark of youth twinkle in her eyes. It reminds her how she used to be. Curious what is out there to explore in the world and eager to find out.

The sound of flapping somewhere ahead of her draws her attention in that direction. There she gasps when she sees a noble phoenix descend down from the sky and perch on the tip of a crystal that juts out of the water near the center of the pond but also further back towards the waterfall. A pulsing white crystal she would have regarded as somewhat unusual in her native lands of Equestria, but here they seem par for the course.

Daring Do has encountered a flock of phoenixes twice before. Once in their native habitat, then later in the market after they were captured. They, in turn, didn’t see her at first because she spied them from a distance using her binoculars. It took her breath away then too.

The second time she encountered them, however, she rescued them from captivity. They definitely noticed her then. The father of the flock bestowed to her a single red feather in gratitude for saving his family. It had since become one of her most sacred treasures until it was later stolen by a supposedly jealous rival. Rival author, that is, not adventurer. That used to be one of her favorite quills to pen down some of her adventures up to that point.

Funny enough, though, the sales of that other author’s work tanked after that. Maybe he thought that her success had something to do with writing with a quill that came from a noble, majestic, and magical phoenix. Even if he’s right, the thing about magic is that sometimes it is just as selective of its user as the user is to the magic. Common superstition would have warned him of that but, in this case, he didn’t listen. Greed often makes one short-sighted.

Because Daring Do had encountered a flock of phoenixes in the past, though, it is also why she soon realizes that this bird is far more unusual than they normally are.

Encountering even one of these awe-inspiring creatures is a powerful omen. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It depends on the context, but it often means something is going to die or be lost soon and something else will take its place. They are also a common omen for fertility.

But due to her previous experience with this species, as rare as that had been, it is still enough to tell her that this particular bird is far more unusual than he appears to be, and he already appeared unusual even at a casual glance. A deeper inspection revealed, however, that this bird is far higher in evolution than a typical phoenix is. He has the same size, shape, and color as an average phoenix, but something in his eyes and gravitas around him suggests he’s way, way more ancient and wise than these birds normally are, and they normally are way above an average bird already.

After the shock of this revelation sinks in, it eventually dawns on Daring that this powerful aura around this creature is also familiar. She had encountered it once before. It takes her a moment to think back to when she came across this.

When she realizes the answer, her eyes widened as she gasps, taken severely aback, when it occurs to her that this noble and powerful bird is none other than the very one she sought, The Great Sage Mezsizethelar, who is currently disguised as a phoenix for some reason.

“YOU!” Daring cries out in astonishment.

In response, the bird merely nods as the depths of wisdom of the ages sparkle in his prismatic, reflective eyes.

“You came to me? But I was going to seek you out!” Daring exclaims.

Almost comically, the noble bird just shrugs but otherwise says or does nothing else. A typical phoenix isn’t known for talking either, but this is Auzmeir. She knows that he’s highly telepathic. That is likely how she’s really encountering him right now.

In only half surprise, Daring asks him, “You know who I am?”

The bird nods again with a blink then fixes a compassionate stare right back at her.

“Right, because your perspective transcends linear time, doesn’t it?”

He just keeps staring at her.

“I remember you said that to me before. Past, present, future . . . none of it matters from your perspective. It’s all the same to you.”

He just keeps staring at her.

She almost asks him why he isn’t saying anything to her this time, or the equivalent of “saying” can possibly be in telepathy. He was decently chatty before, but this time he seems content to merely be in her presence.

Before she asks, though, she is startled to realize she forgot why she sought him out. She takes a moment to ponder over this carefully. What her memories eventually report to her is that, initially, she didn’t seek him out. Instead of that, she merely got excited when she learned he was also around this time period but likely not frozen in stone this time. This means she has this one chance to meet him in the flesh without a stone prison in the way. At that moment all other priorities in her life suddenly dropped. This was an opportunity she never thought she’d have again, especially not to this degree.

Now that she thinks on it, though, it occurs to her that all questions she thought she had eludes her. There are plenty of questions she had over the years. Many moments she had wished he was there so she could ask him a question back then, but time and time again she pulled through on her own. She swore off the company of others and vowed to pick up her skills on her own. Independence can be very self-empowering, but it gets lonely eventually.

Maybe that is it. Maybe it really is that simple. As she looks back at him, it dawns on her that maybe she simply missed his company. Maybe she wanted a reminder that he would be there for her in some shape or form.

As she thinks on this further, she realizes that she’s changed a lot since her last encounter with him. Back then he presented himself as a sagely hippogriff in her mind. Now he looks like a noble phoenix. Only now did it occur to her to ask herself why.

The Great Sage Mezsizethelar is a Quetzalcoatl. That is a highly powerful, magical, and telepathic being. He doesn’t need to say hi to others in the flesh. Sometimes that might be a wise idea too because he could overwhelm them, and not everyone has the best of intentions either. He has the advantage of seeing the inner self of others before he approaches them, and because of that, he can customize the form he presents to possibly reflect the one he is encountering. Right now he came at her in the form of a phoenix. Why? That was a choice on his part. He could have chosen any other form, probably even if she encountered him in the flesh. A Quetzalcoatl is said to be a powerful shapeshifter as well as one who can bend reality itself.

But he came at her as a phoenix this time. There must be an important message in there. A message for her alone. Nobody else is here so that further signifies that this encounter is custom designed for her alone.

So why a phoenix?

Daring dwelled on that point very carefully. She even closed her eyes and checked her inner compass just as he taught her to do in her last encounter with him. That compass, in turn, pointed to the symbolic meaning of a phoenix and further said, “That’s what he sees in you. That you are like that majestic bird. He’s merely reflecting who you are.”

The moment that thought occurs to her, everything else suddenly clicks into place. Her reason took over to explain and elaborate on the simple truths her instinct first pointed out. The last time she encountered this being, she was very young and on her very first adventure. An adventure that turned out to be a key hallmark of her destiny.

Since then, however, she has grown and changed a lot. She went through a lot of inner deaths and rebirths. It wasn’t just from that one adventure. Many others since then shaped her into the mare she had become. She wanted to become strong and confident. That happened, but over time she slowly lost sight of that because there was always higher progress to reach for. More she could become. More to strive for.

Only now, at this moment, she looks back upon her history and realizes how far she had come. She kept her gaze forward so often that she sometimes lost track of how far she had already come.

It probably took only an instant for the Doctor to quickly size her up and realize that she had the potential to be an awesome leader after everything she had been through, but that potential was largely untapped at the time. He saw that she was ready to grow in a way she did not consciously realize yet. That’s probably when he made his decision.

The Doctor was her guide too! Now it almost feels as if these two had been working together all along. Both of their goals and methods seem so closely aligned.

Long ago, before she even knew what she was capable of and who she fully was, the Doctor kept coaxing her and guiding her on her journey. He kept on giving words of encouragement and offering a hoof if she fell. Once that was done, he’d basically say something along the lines of, “You got this. You can do it.”

Daring Do closes her eyes as tears start to flood them. She is moved so much to realize that she had that kind of caring support a long time ago. Her grandfather counted long before that as well. Each stallion, or otherwise, kept smiling at her, giving words of encouragement, then pointing the way onward.

It is all too easy to take for granted all the reasons a stallion and/or mare eventually becomes so strong. She saved plenty of lives before herself by now. Indeed, whole societies at times. She was their words of encouragement. Their mentor. Their guide. Their reason for their own growth and self empowerment.

That’s one of the core reasons why she became an author. She likes to write, she likes to share her lessons, and she likes to inspire. She likes to pay her bills too, but that almost feels trivial compared to everything else.

That fortune occasionally came in handy during her adventures, and even her name as “A.K. Yearling” occasionally opened important doors for her. Her inner compass had always said, “There is always a way through this challenge. If you consult with me then I’ll show you the way.”

Teary-eyed, Daring Do cracks her eyes open a bit. Her vision of Auzmeir is blurry but he’s still there. It is then that it occurs to her that phoenix’s can’t talk so that’s also meant to symbolize that he never intended to do so during this encounter. She has grown a lot since her last encounter with him. Grown enough that words of wisdom and encouragement are no longer necessary. Instead of that, he settles for teaching her through actions instead. By his very presence he signifies, “I am here for you, and I’m very proud of the progress you made. So much so that it doesn’t even need to be said.”

A phoenix always rises from the ashes. When they do, they bring glorious light to all who behold them. To the hearts of the wicked, that light is scary and blinding. To the downtrodden, that same light offers comfort and hope. They look up to her and think something along the lines of, “Wow! She really is a hero. I guess they really do exist.”

Yeah. That is the way she kept living her life. No matter what kicks her down, she always finds a way to get back up more determined and pissed than ever. She gets up with a cunning glint in her eyes and a daring grin on her lips. Those who cross her had best beware, for Daring Do is Unstoppable. It is true because that is what she decided to be.

“Thank you,” Daring expresses to her old friend very gratefully. “I believe I finally understand now.”

Silently, the wise and noble bird nods once again before crouching down then leaps off into the air. A trail of fire follows after him during his one flap downward that soars him fifty feet into the air. From there he suspends himself without the need to flap. Instead of that, he spreads his wings and glorious light shines out from him that she had also seen once before, except this time it does not hurt her eyes to see. Instead, this time, she sees and feels something far more. Something wonderful. Something glorious beyond all mortal measure.

That light shines so brightly that at first she does not realize that he had shifted his form until it slowly fades and she finally sees the silhouette of his long, serpentine form. Surrounding that is a corona of rainbow light. Like a ghost, he fades into that light. That image and feelings that it evokes will settle into Daring’s soul forever.