Liar, Liar, Apples on Fire

by Monochromatic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 1590

Rarity isn't mad, she swears, just very confused. Did Applejack actually break into her house? And for some inane, frankly incomprehensible reason?

Rarity isn't mad, she swears, just very confused. Did Applejack actually break into her house? And for some inane, frankly incomprehensible reason?

Commision for Dimbulb!

Set after the episode "Trade Ya."

Published 2023-02-08 08:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-08 08:20:04 UTC

There's no delicate way to ask this

It was a summer afternoon when Rarity decided to ask Applejack her question.

They’d been back from Rainbow Falls for about five days now, and while at first she decided the matter wasn’t worth pursuing, the fact that she was still caught up on it five days later meant she was better off just addressing it.

It being the fact that Applejack somehow knew that Rarity had five identical jeweled barrettes sitting in her private jewelry box that wasn’t to be touched by anypony save for Rarity. Period.

Because of the…delicacy of the matter, she decided it should happen naturally—nonchalantly, if you will. As though it wasn’t a big deal. Which it wasn’t because they were friends, so there had to be a decent explanation for why Applejack of all ponies had gone snooping through Rarity’s things without consent.

Luckily for her, they were all having a lovely picnic that day, so she simply had to pull Applejack to the side when everypony was busy.

***

The opportunity arrived halfway through the picnic.

Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Spike were by the nearby river, entertained by looking at the fish. Rainbow and Twilight were sitting ways away, reading a Daring Do book under the shade of a tree. From what Rarity could hear, they were fervently discussing something they kept calling ‘head cannons,’ which made Rarity hesitate on approving of Sweetie reading said books. Cannons being shot at pony’s heads did not sound like appropriate reading for a gentle, sweet filly like her sister.

Regardless!

“Applejack, darling,” Rarity said nonchalantly, treating herself to one of the apple fritters her friend had brought. “I have a question for you.”

“A question?” Applejack sat up straight, fixing her whole attention on Rarity. This was one of the little things Rarity appreciated about her. She always made Rarity feel heard. “Shoot, sugarcube.”

“It’s about something you said during the Trader’s Exchange.” She ate another fritter, despite herself. This was one of the little things Rarity didn’t appreciate about Applejack. She made sinful treats so damn good. “I was a bit unclear on it.”

Applejack frowned. “What’d I say?”

Rarity took one last fritter, she swore. It was a good excuse to think over her next words, for they were as delicate as she was.

“Applejack,” she said, “did you break into my house and snoop in private things?”

Sometimes delicate things required sledgehammers.

Applejack nearly choked on the drink she’d started. “Wha-?! Did I do what now?”

She was flabbergasted, yes, which could mean she was innocent, but it could also mean she was guilty! And she certainly looked the part, still sputtering in shock, eyes wide in shock.

Well, well! It seemed Rarity was skilled at these head cannons, too!

“What in Equestria did I say at the exchange that made you think that?!” she asked, so completely guilty she didn’t even react with anger! Ha ha!

“The barrette you gave me.” Rarity crossed her hooves together, which might imply she was being serious, but really she was trying to stop herself to another fritter. “You said you gave it to me because you know I have five identical ones, but I keep those secured in my locked jewelry box, so—” She grabbed a fritter and pointed it towards her friend accusingly. For the dramatic effect of it. Eating it, too, was for effect. “How did you know I have five identical ones, pray tell?”

Applejack did not reply verbally. No, she did something far worse. She laughed in the face of her crimes! The gall!

“Sweet Celestia, you actually had me worried there. Thought I’d somehow done something criminal without even knowing,” she said, visibly relaxing. Amused, even. “I didn’t go snoopin’ through your things, Rarity. I’ve just seen you wearing at them fancy royal events Twilight’s been havin’!”

“Oh!” Rarity exclaimed. That made sense.

Wait, no, it didn’t.

“Now, hold on a moment, wait,” she continued. “That doesn’t explain how you knew I have five of them! They’re identical!”

Applejack remained unperturbed.

“No, they ain’t.” She grabbed one of her fritters and ate it up before continuing. “One of them has a lil’ knick on the other side, another has a loose fastener because it hangs a bit, the other has a slight different shade of purple than the rest, the fourth has the gem a little crooked, and the fifth is perfect.” She winked. “Just like you, sugarcube.”

Rarity giggled, charmed. “Well, well. I concede! I didn’t realize you were so observant,” she said. She grinned, teasing. “Too observant, one might say! What, do you spend all the galas staring at me?”

“‘C-course not,” Applejack said, which Rarity would have otherwise believed if it wasn’t for the unusual stammer and the even more unusual blush her friend suddenly had.

Oh.

Oh ho ho?

“Are you sure, darling?” Rarity purred, leaning in ever so slightly. “It’s perfectly alright if you are!” She offered a dazzling grin. “I’m quite nice to look at, I think.”

“I’m not starin’ at you all day, darn it!” Applejack protested, her fluster betraying her. My, my.

Granted, she could stop what was clearly teasing, but… why? It was harmless fun, no? Especially when she hadn’t even said anything yet, and already Applejack was saying, “I wasn’t!”

“So, you’re just very observant then, are you?” Rarity asked with the same innocence with which she grabbed another fritter. She then inched closer, her smile gentle, innocent, and not at all teasing. “You just simply happen to notice little minute details that you couldn’t really notice unless you were looking at me a lot? Hm?”

“I do!” Applejack protested, and my, my, my, her ears flicking down, her eyes flittering back and forth. A liar she was not.

“Do you?”

“I do! I just—Well, you know, I’m interested in jewelry and them things! I don’t like wearing them often, but I can appreciate them just like any other mare,” she said with a firm nod.

Rarity personally thought she should be awarded some sort of prize for not immediately bowling over choking with laughter.

“Really?” she asked instead. Polite.

Again, the firm nod. “Eeyup!”

Rarity looked at Applejack, teaser to teasée. She could offer mercy. She could. But was it not a core aspect of their relationship that neither wanted to receive or give mercy to the other?

“Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said.

Applejack frowned. “...Rainbow Dash? What’s she got to do with any of this?”

“She was wearing her element of loyalty the other day at Pinkie’s party because she insists on being a braggart about it,” Rarity elaborated. She paused. Just a second. “The jewel on it.” She leaned in another inch. “What is it shaped like?”

Applejack snorted. “That’s easy, and you know it.”

Rarity tilted her head. “Is it?” she purred. “What it is, then? Illuminate me, Applejack dearest.”

Applejack gave her the hardest stare she’d ever given her. Then broke into a smile. “Fine by me. It’s a cloud. There.”

Rarity stared at her.

Applejack stared back.

Rarity grinned, and it was so sinful that ten generations of Apple Family ancestors were probably redder than their famous apples.

“Oh, Applejack. Darling.”

“Lightnin’ bolt!” Applejack blurted out, desperate.

Rarity leaned back, giggling. “Too late, my dear.”

Applejack’s shoulders slumped. “Aw, horsefeathers. I had a fifty-fifty shot, and I blew it.” Defeated, she swallowed her pride and confessed, “I jus’-- I just think you have a nice complexion! That’s it!” She looked like she was dying, and Rarity was never happier to be a murderer. “You’re nice to look at. There’s nothing more to it.”

Finally, Rarity smiled genuinely. “I am!” She bowed her head. “I’m glad you think so, too, dear. If I may say, I feel the same.” She reached out and booped her friend’s nose. “Your freckles are exceedingly charming.”

“Aw, well, shucks. Thanks,” Applejack replied, a little pleased though still embarrassed.

Rarity fluttered her eyelashes. “I hope you also know I will be holding this over your head for the rest of our lives.”

Applejack laughed, endeared. “Well, Rarity, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

Author's Note

2023 Mono: Look. We're doing freelance, okay. We're trying to make a living off horse and original words. We need to take commissions to keep this going, and not ALL OF THEM can be raritwi! It's what it is! C'est la vie!

2020 Mono: man that pandemic really will mess me up huh.

2023 Mono: no. listen. this is GOOD. it's variety! I'm learning so much! Practicing different dynamics!

2018 Mono: TWIDASH??? RARISHY??!!! RARIJACK??? RARITWIDASH-- Actually that's fine. BUT THE REST? What happened to you, man?! It was us against everyone else!!!

2023 Mono: I LITERALLY POSTED LIKE 10K OF BODYGUARD AU THAT WAS RARITWI

2015 Mono, tearfully cocking raygun: Sorry, but... you've gone too far.

2023 Mono: LISTEN.

Ahem.

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