Whenever I think, I do so with a mighty effort. I try to keep my mind on things I'm supposed to think. Things like keeping my subjects in line, managing this war, winning this war. That was the most important bit. I had to come up with the perfect tactic. Equestria's army might have the power, Celestia might have the power, but I... had the brain. I knew how to run war better than really any pony. I was trained, tortured and taught. That is what I'm supposed to think.
What I'm not supposed to think, is a little, fascinating mare I came across two years ago. It's not like I felt this way when I first met her. At that time, she was completely paralyzed with fear of me. She was doing her very best to avoid me. But I saw the vast power within her and thought it could be used. If a miracle shining this brightly just walked into my castle then why should I let it go? I wielded my charm and manipulation skills and convinced her to stay. I then spent an entire two years training her magically and physically. I turned her from the ragged mess she was to a formidable, extremely intelligent warrior. And then I promoted her to second in command of this empire. So in return, of course, she was going to be as loyal as she is. And she is certainly an asset I wouldn't ignore.
But.
I just... never expected this. Sure, we get along well, she heeds my orders and listens to me. She is constantly finding and inventing new ways to give me the boost I need to defeat Equestria. There have been a number of times when her brilliant ideas won the empire several battles. And when I say she heeds my every instruction, I mean, she heeds my every instruction with flawless obedience. Even when she is clearly not mind-controlled.
I shook my head, trying another attempt to clear my head while shifting on my throne. Once again, though, she fogged back in my brain like an enchanted spell.
I drew in an exasperated breath.
Gorgeous, soft lavender fur across her graceful frame. Sparkling, determined violet eyes. Locks of multi-colored mane. Her strong, impassive demeanour. The eternal fire just blazing in her veins that couldn't be seen but felt.
I shook my head again. What was going on with me? Why is this happening?
'Because your weak!,' a smokey voice barked, rattling with echoes in my head.
I heaved a heavy breath. Can you shut up? The last thing I desire to hear is your hideous voice, I thought back fiercely.
'Ugh, your acting like a lovestruck teenager on Hearts and Hooves Day,' the voice carried on, ignoring me. 'Something is sincerely wrong with you. Along with everything else wrong about you,'
I glowered both angrily and with a hint of tiredness. This Parasite has been in my head since I was a colt. It's a dark, shadowy essence, that roams around Equestria to find the perfect pony to take a hold of. Apparently, I was the first in years. Although it has been a guest for others as well. Such as Princess Luna. It makes you its host when you've committed somehow to evil and darkness. Since the Parasite doesn't have a body of its own, it needs the body of another. It left me when I was banished, and came back when I returned. But so long as it is in my head, I would have nightmares in my sleep the whole while. That's why I never had a good night of rest for centuries. I always see some gruesome scene of a pony I once cared about being throttled in front of me while I was held on a chain, helpless.
'Oh come on,' the Parasite chided. 'I give you those dark dreams to keep you on track. I can't have some sweet little thing give you the push towards good. You must remain as you are. Evil. A monster.'
I brought down my head to rest on my front legs. Yes, that was all I needed to hear. I am a monster.
'Besides,' the Parasite said. 'That little mare you keep thinking about, she is never, never in a million years, going to fall for a monster like you.'
That struck me like a metal whip. But it is brutal honesty. A mare like her, so brave and selfless, would never like me. She is too good for me. I don't deserve her. I never deserve her.
Suddenly, I felt a powerful pulse of magic outside the Throne Room. My heart skipped a beat before beginning to bang painfully. She is coming.
Twilight Sparkle is coming.
I moved up in a sitting position. I made sure my face turned back into the practised, stoic expression I usually wore when speaking to my subjects. I shifted my shoulders to look more powerful and imposing. I curled my tail around my flank and laid back my ears to stop their constant twitching.
I couldn't show any sign of weakness. Even if heavens knew I would pour my heart out for her any time she would want me to.
The double doors pulled open with an aura of fuchsia magic. Through them, stepped a small, young unicorn.
Twilight walked regally and stopped when she was only a meter from the small stairs that led up to the throne. She gave a bow before speaking, "Your highness, I am finished with my duties of the day. Are there any final adjustments you would like me to make before I head to my chambers?"
Yes, kiss me.
'You're disgusting.'
"No. You can head to your chambers. There are a few moves we need to talk about tomorrow. You are aware of how much larger Celestia's army is than ours. So we much take them from different angles. We must bring to mind the perfect tactic. If Celestia's army has more advances, then we must be the ones to think smarter."
Twilight bowed again. If I were up to it, I would tell her to never bow to me. I would tell her she is the queen.
"Alright, your highness."
With that, she turned and went towards the door. My heart twisted.
"W-wait," I called, sounding more desperate than intended. Wait? What the fuck am I doing!?
Twilight halted in her track and looked over her shoulder at me. "Yes, your majesty?"
A million thoughts spun through my brain as I stared back, driving me partially dizzy. My hoof was stretched out to her, as though she is my final hope. As though I'd die for her. As though I wouldn't be able to live without her.
Which, I really wouldn't be able to.
The thought sounded both dramatic and sad. It's not like I've received any love or affection since foalhood.
My gaze remained locked into hers. I hoped my face, at the very least, still looked impassive. And if it wasn't? Well, what can I do about my own troublesome feelings?
Alas, I just retracted my hoof and placed it in front of me. My brain fumbled over what to say.
"N-no," I decided, still internally praying I didn't sound so hopeless. "You can leave."
She gave a last small bow before exiting. Leaving me alone once more. My chest felt hollow. A deep sense of loneliness I didn't want settling in.
Once I confirmed I was alone, I slumped back in my throne, slapping my right hoof on my face, frustrated.
By all the stars, I thought. That was embarrassing.
'You are embarrassing,' the Parasite said flatly. 'You're really letting yourself fall hard and bad, you idiot.'
I didn't bother responding. I was too tired and stressed to respond. My mind cleared and thoughts of Twilight slid in the next second.
At the moment, I couldn't think of anything better.
Through the dark hallway, I trotted with grace. The walk is expected from all royalty. I was headed towards the C.E.S.D. Which stood for, The Crystal Empire Science Department. A place where all the scientists worked. Twilight Sparkle is the head. I wanted to pay her a visit for something important.
And because I just wanted to.
I tried. I tried with a great effort to not think about her, to not keep going towards her, to not be, for Starswirl's sake, socially awkward around her.
And I failed. Thoroughly.
So now, I find It's nearly impossible to get over it. Therefore, I stopped trying entirely.
Making a few more turns, I eventually arrived at another set of double doors. These ones are labelled SCIENCE LAB.
With an aura of red magic, I opened the door and stepped in.
As always, the scientists were hard at work. Researching and inventing new technology meant to aid my success over Celestia.
Amongst the workers, I spotted a pale blue earth pony. Her eyes were a brighter sky blue. Her long, wild, curly mane, which is tied back, came mostly in a color of deep, midnight blue with baby pink, light yellow and aqua-ish green highlights. Much like the northern lights.
"Aurora," I addressed.
The crystal pony looked up, ears twitching. Her eyebrows flicked upwards when she caught my gaze.
Still, crystal pony she may be, she was the only one I didn't mind. She was Twilight's closest friend in the empire. Personality-wise, she is quite enthusiastic and happy. Even while under my reign, she is still up to her bubbly attitude and, too, one of my most loyal subjects for whatever reason. And she is the one to calm Twilight whenever she came into her stress mode.
As usual, Aurora looked happy as the blue sky when I went over to her. Despite everything I'd done to her home. Sometimes, I wondered if she used her happiness to hide her true emotions. Which, quite possibly, could be the opposite.
"Yes, your majesty?" she said, nodding her head in a respectful, bowing gesture.
"Where is Dr. Sparkle?"
"She's in her office," Aurora replied with a leisurely (almost knowing) look on her face before turning back to the chemicals she was testing.
I said nothing more, simply turned and headed towards the mare of my thoughts. A part of my mind, still couldn't ignore the look Aurora gave me. It looked like... as if... she somehow knew my implications. Like somehow, she knows or can tell, I'm falling for Twilight. The thought greatly embarrassed me if it were true.
But then again, I thought. Maybe it's better that it is Aurora who knows.
I know, if it's Aurora who can tell, she is still better than honestly any pony. Aurora isn't the type to go around starting rumours of her suspicions. If she finds out I am in love with Twilight, she will keep it to herself.
I sighed quietly, wishing I could shut off my brain's constant rattling. Wishing I didn't have to deal with these feelings. but knowing nothing could be done about it now, I just had to let it be. I want to see Twilight because I can't deny my own aching heart. My heart, one I thought would be broken forever.
'And I will have to find some way to break it again.'
I ignored him. Instead, just focused on opening the door that lead to Twilight's office.
Within the office, the first thing that came into my view was charts. Of numbers and who knows what else lined, neatly along the walls. There was a whiteboard on the left of the room with some equations written on its surface. At the end of the office, in the center, was a large desk with stacks of paper on top, a jar with quills and an inkwell on the side.
Then my heart began beating faster when I took in the pony seated behind the desk.
Twilight.
For whatever reason, the air around me suddenly became lighter, and happier. My heart felt less in pain. I felt like I just saw an angel from heaven.
Twilight looked up from her parchment and I swear her eyebrows went upwards slightly when she saw me, like sudden happiness of her own.
It made me wonder.
The lavender unicorn gave me a curious look. "Your majesty, why are you here?"
A million reasons why actually.
"I came to discuss something important."
She continued staring at me for a minute or two before putting her paper down and placing her hooves in front of her. "I'm listening."
A ghost of a smile spread on my lips. "I know you would."
Sitting in the Meeting Room, I was working. Unfortunately, the war also came with lots of work and discussions between my kingdom and Celestia's. It was heavily annoying, though I understood nonetheless.
So I was here, scribbling on the papers laid out before me. My mind goes tick, tick, tick as information weaved in one word at a time.
But that wasn't all I was thinking about.
As usual, that portion of my brain is still there. The one that continuously thinks of that little, lavender mare.
No wonder I felt so confused sometimes.
'Which is very unbefitting you,' the Parasite pointed you. 'As a soldier, you're supposed to be sharp and quick at all times.'
You... are not wrong, I admitted, internally.
I am a soldier.
Or... well. I was supposed to be. During my previous life in the Crystal Empire, when I wasn't king. When I was, in fact, a citizen of the empire.
Except, I'm not really a citizen since the crystal ponies treated me like shit. I felt a fire rage inside me. They were sexist and racist. They disowned me and my family for being different.
And most of all. That moment I will never forget. The death of my sister.
Lumen. She's gone because of them. The crystal ponies deserve every shred of agony they feel for killing her.
'That's exactly what I wanted you to see,' the Parasite hissed. 'I hoped you would realize on your own why you are doing this. Why you're so vengeful, so cruel? You know they earned it. So don't let yourself fall, not even for Twilight. She is just like everyone else, so treat her the same way.'
I paused, gazing ahead sadly, feeling the hopeless feelings of love and loneliness coming in once again.
What happened to me, isn't her fault, I thought. So I can't just take my anger out on her when she wasn't even involved. Especially, when she has already done so much for me.
'At least, don't be such a weirdo when she's around.'
I... I don't think I can do that. And you know I tried. I gave it all I had and it's not working. I keep thinking about her. So now, I'll just be nice to her.
I practically sensed the Parasite's resulting eye-roll. Well, perhaps the scoff after that confirmed it.
'She's never going to like you and you know it,' the Parasite snarled. 'You are a monster to her. A cruel, vile vengeful thing with no heart.'
That felt colder than necessary. My chest began to ache again. The ache this time was more terrible than ever before. I brought up a hoof to rub my chest.
It wasn't as if this was the first time I heard that I was a cruel monster. It's the 'she will never like you' bit that actually hurt me.
But he's right. She will never like me. I'm thoroughly, unpleasantly, unlikeable.
I buried my face in my papers. Trying to ignore the torrent of pain and confusion whirling inside me like a tornado.
"Your majesty?" a familiar voice called me, I looked up in an instant.
There in the doorway, stood Twilight. She was in her black armour. Her head tilted downwards in a small bow.
It took me one second to break out of my stupor before replying, "Yes?"
For another second, I could swear I saw her hesitate. I glanced at her eyes, which were shining with anxiety, though her expression remained even. I could tell she wanted to tell me something.
She gave a little sigh like she just confirmed some heavily-weighted decision. "I don't have much to do today so I'm done with my work."
I was surprised by how levelled her tone sounded.
"I was wondering, can I stay here with you for the time being? I have nothing else to do."
I felt like I was floating. Did I just hear what I just heard? Was this real? Am I dreaming?
Twilight, the mare I'm in love with, asked me if she could stay with me to spend time. And the "nothing else to do" bit is a lie. There are about a million other things she could do. She could read or talk to Aurora or sort out her room. She only said "nothing else to do" as an excuse. She wants to spend time with me. She seriously, genuinely wants to spend time with me!!!
And... to top it all off... that could mean...
She might like me too.
The pain in my chest seemed to fade. I suddenly felt so happy I could explode. I will always cherish this beautiful feeling.
I then noticed she was still waiting for my reply. I nodded towards her, "Yes. You can stay with me."
Twilight said nothing more, instead moved in quietly and sat down on the chair next to mine.
An awkward silence followed. I didn't know what to say. Twilight was faintly fidgeting, she likely wouldn't be able to start a discussion, so it was left to me to think of something.
"So then," I began, "how's work been going, as of late? Anything new?"
She paused for a second or two before answering. "Everything's been good, as of late, your majesty."
I wished she didn't have to call me that.
"I've been working on this new chemical that might prove useful for your soldiers."
"And how will it be useful?"
"Currently, you are using those helmets as your source of making sure your own soldiers don't betray you."
"Although, my last speech seemed quite moving. I thought they'd care for some loyalty after hearing my amazing, well-said, parley," I recalled thoughtfully.
Twilight shook her head. "With all due respect, your majesty, but I don't think they can be trusted with an inspirational speech alone. I advise you to not take any chances."
I chuckled. "Yes, yes. I hear myself in you actually. You know I'm just teasing."
She glanced to the side. "Right. I see. So what I am making is..."
"I'm listening." Just as you do for me.
"...this antidote which will contain some of your dark magic. And then, this antidote will be injected in the soldiers."
I blinked at her.
"Basically," she elaborated, catching the look in my eye. "The helmets you use, they're great but they could be taken off during the battle. And if they do get taken off, there is a chance your subject could betray you and join Equestria."
"You are... correct."
"So instead of putting the mind control spell in the helmet, you could ingest it inside the soldiers themselves. This way, they will never betray you."
It was a pretty good idea, I had to admit. And I wasn't surprised she was the one who brought this up, not me. I'm smart, but she's no doubt smarter than me.
"I do have one question," I said.
"Yes?"
"Is the injection permanent or temporary?"
"It can last for as long as you want it to," she answered.
"I see."
We sat in silence for another few minutes. Each of us thinking of our own implications. Though I often wondered how she felt. What she thought. What could she be thinking right now?
I flicked her a glance. Her expression was impassive. Impossible to see through.
Like mine, I realized. I am the one who trained her to be this after all.
I decided to ask her a more intimate question. I thought hard about it, but in the end, I was burning with curiosity. I needed her perspective on it.
"Hey, Twilight?" I said.
She turned to look at me. "Yes, your majesty."
I placed my papers on the table and put one hoof on top of the other, hoping I didn't look too anxious.
Either way, I took a deep breath, still determined to try. "Listen. This question may sound slightly personal and weird but I am in desperate need of your take on this." I hesitated. "And I want you to be completely honest with me, understand?"
She nodded.
"So." Here we go. "When you are feeling something you feel is wrong to you as you believe you shouldn't be feeling it. And there is this voice inside you which could be your inner demon, telling you, you are weak for feeling this way. You are weak for letting yourself fall into this. "
'You are still weak,' the Parasite growled. I ignored him.
Now she was blinking at me. Though not in confusion but in surprise.
Likely at my stupid question
"What I'm saying is, what would you do if you were feeling like that? What if there was an inner demon talking you down every other second, what would you do? As I said before, please be honest with me."
Twilight's look seemed to soften to a more somberly state. She gave a little hmm before speaking. "Well. I would say, that inner demon shouldn't be the boss of me."
I choked on my own saliva.
"If the inner demon has a problem with me then so be it. My decisions and feeling aren't reflected in my inner demon. They are reflected in me. If I am feeling a certain way and I don't want to, it's quite pointless to fight it. I say, just let it be."
I listened on without a single interruption. I couldn't believe my ears though.
'Don't listen to her, you fucking idiot!!" the Parasite spat. I ignored him again.
"Also, your majesty," she continued. "Falling to a feeling doesn't make you weak. You could be weak if you fear your own feeling. But you shouldn't. Instead, feel strong for embracing the feeling. Feel brave for accepting it as who you are. Especially as the king of an empire, you shouldn't let yourself be talked over by your inner demon. Tell your inner demon to go shove an icicle up his snout because, technically, you can do whatever you want."
Oh, I most certainly will tell him to shove an icicle up his snout.
'You son of a bitch."
I knew talking with Twilight wasn't a bad idea. I now know with perfect clarity, I chose the right mare to be in love with.
I smiled at her. "Thank you for sharing with me. I will remember this."
Another crimson-shaded day had risen over the dark empire as I sat on my throne, once again, scribbling some important stuff down on the stack of papers levitated in my magic.
If only war didn't come with this much crap, I would be so much more appreciative. Work is no fun. I always wondered how Twilight never got tired of doing this stuff every day.
So quietly, I continued my duty while my mind hummed on in thought.
That is until a very strange pulse of magic caught my attention. It wasn't like anything I felt before.
It was kind of faint though, since the empire is full of magic, I feel different kinds of magical pulses all the time. But this one definitely felt different.
A slow, dreadful feeling began creeping into me. I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's not good. Whatever it is, it will put Twilight in danger.
Or... maybe I'm overreacting. Love has a tendency to do that.
That thought was flipped backwards when the doors of the throne room were flung open and a pony came rushing in. My dread drowned in an ocean of fear when I took in who the pony was.
The pony was Aurora. Twilight's closest friend, and a worker in the science lab. Currently, her lab coat had rips in it, her fur is smudged with smoke, and her mane is ruffled and messy.
And she came from the science lab. Where Twilight is. Whatever, this catastrophe is, it occurred in the science lab and Twilight is in it too.
"Your majesty!!" Aurora gasped, coughing, clearly out of breath and worn out.
I struggled to keep my face even. "Tell me what's wrong," I said sternly.
After another coughing fit, Aurora answered. "Well, let's just say me and the other scientists were doing some chemical work and something went horribly wrong. One of the workers accidentally used the chemical on the wrong machine and sent out dangerous radiations that threatened to destroy the whole lab. And... it will destroy the whole lab. Twilight is currently trying to stop the radiations which is a crazy idea."
My heart dropped.
"I told her it was an insane idea," Aurora rattled on. "But she wouldn't listen. I even tried to pull her out but you know she's stronger than me and I'm harmless to her. All of us workers are out but she's still in there so I came to you."
I was already standing, fear and anger swelling in my nerves, terrifying me to my bones. But I have to remain strong for Twilight. Otherwise, I'll lose her forever. Like I lost my sister.
I am not letting that happen.
Shifting into my shadow form, I sped out of the throne room, not caring if Aurora was following or not.
In a few heartbeats, I was at the door of the laboratory. Just as Aurora had said, the workers were outside, looking extremely panicked.
I materialized before them, startling all of them.
"Where is Twilight?" I demanded gruffly.
When none of them answered me, I gave an annoyed huff before slamming my hoof on the ground. "ANSWER ME!!!"
"She's in there!!" one of them blurted, pointing to the lab.
I whirled around, but just as I was going to pull the doors open, an enormous boom sound came from within the lab. The doors burst open on their own, and a powerful wave of chemical radiation swept over me and the scientists.
It lasted for a few seconds before evaporating to nothing.
None of us said a word for a long time. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought my ribcage might break. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Aurora galloping in the room, her expression falling into one of terror. She said something, but I didn't hear anything. I couldn't hear anything aside from blood roaring in my ears. My head spun with a million thoughts. From somewhere, the Parasite was saying something about me being a complete, fucking idiot.
I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. Only one thing my chest is in agony for.
Twilight.
What happened to her? Is she okay? Is she alive?
Without a second thought, I dove towards the door. But a voice behind me made me pause.
"Wait, your majesty!!" Aurora shouted. "There's toxic stuff in the air in the lab."
I snorted and shot Aurora a glare. "And so what if there is toxic stuff in the lab? You do realize you're speaking with the most powerful creature in the empire? I know what I'm doing."
With that, I stormed off inside.
As soon as I stepped in, my heart skipped a beat.
The entire lab was a mess. Most of the machines were broken, and chemicals and broken devices were scattered across the floor. One of the machines was giving off smoke.
Forcing back my fear, I ignited my horn and sent out a quick whisk of a clearing spell. The area before me instantly cleaned up.
I trotted in, using the spell, clearing the way and searching for Twilight. After a few more turns here and there, I came across
an area with a small purple unicorn lying on the floor, unmoving. My heart hammered harder than before. Sweat seeped beneath my fur. All of my muscles were tense and agitated.
Slowly, I went towards her. Once I was close enough, I drew in a sharp breath.
Clenched in her teeth was a thick black wire that she seemed to have pulled out of the outlet by the wall, which was also attached to a bunch of broken machines. Most of her long, beautiful mane was burned. A long tear was ripped in her lab coat and her body looked like it was electrocuted.
Worse of all.
Some kind of magical, acid liquid was spilled all over her left foreleg. I smelled the scent of chemicals and burned, rotting cloth and fur. It was so sickening. And for a fearful minute, I thought she was dead.
Just to be sure, I pressed my shaking hoof on her pulse, only to mercifully feel a shallow beat. At least she is still alive. I released a somewhat relieved breath just because she isn't dead.
But she needs a doctor. Otherwise, she might really die. I can't stand that. Never stand that. Can't live with that. I don't care what happens next so long as she is saved. So long as she isn't dead or writhing in the agony of any kind. My chest is heaving and aching but I can still be strong for her. That is what she would want me to do.
So I shifted into a shadow, enveloped her with me, and hurried out. I stopped only once to tell Aurora to watch the lab while Twilight's absence.
A little while has passed since my arrival at the hospital.
Upon arrival, I placed Twilight gently on a random stretcher and barked at a random doctor to help her. Thankfully, one of the doctors I saw was Healing Emerald, the head doctor and one of my consulters in the castle. I may be a villain, but I know how to run discussions with my most loyal subjects just cause I know more heads for ideas is better than just one.
Emerald then took Twilight to one of the rooms and has yet to return.
For a bit, there was a little filly in the waiting room whom I spoke with. Eventually, she left, biding me good luck with Twilight's conditions.
A thousand string of possibilities ran through my head. A piece of me repeatedly saying, she will live, she will live, she will live. Thankfully, Emerald is smart, skilled and experienced with diseases. Surely, Twilight is bound to live.
'Hopefully, she doesn't. That would be tremendously beneficial,' the Parasite said pleasantly.
Go die in Tartarus, I growled back, my veins blazing with angry flames. Internally, I am seething with rage.
'It's revolting what she's done to you. You used to be so cold and merciless yet you sound desperate and crippled right now. That mare carries a disease with her.'
Maybe she's a disease to you.
'You should have executed her the moment she stepped into your castle. You should have ended her life then. You two should have never met. You should have kicked her out and told her to go live her own fucking life and never ever stick her snout in your business.'
But nothing can change that now, I thought smugly. I've met her, I made the decisions I made, and the empire is her home now. She is not and never will turn her back on it. This is how fate planned it, it's what fate did. So it is as it is now. It's too late to undo it.
I realized after that, I felt so good. I may not have agreed earlier, but I do now. Convincing Twilight to stay in the empire was one of the best things I did. I do not regret my decision in the slightest bit.
Perhaps, I was a bit selfish for thinking that. That I liked my decision just cause the mare I have a crush on stays with me. But it's been a long time since I felt this way. If I spent this long struggling with my inklings, why would I want to give her up? Why wouldn't I feel a bit possessive of her? I both hated and loved the implication.
My ears twitched when the sound of someone walking came. I straightened my posture and fixed my face, forcing back any trace of love and remorse. Making sure I looked like the infamous tyrant.
Healing Emerald appeared wearing a noticeable look of concern on her face. Something told me the concern linked back to Twilight. I felt agitated. Half of me wants to know what happened to her and the other half doesn't.
But I have to be strong for her.
I nodded to Emerald, "So then. What are her conditions? Is she faring well?"
Emerald bit her lip before responding. "Well, your majesty, for the most part, I would like to say that she will live. Fortunately, her death is avoided."
A part of me felt relieved.
"However, that is not to say her current condition isn't disturbing."
Another flare of fear I felt. "Why? What are her conditions?" That came out sounding more broken than intended.
Emerald heaved a breath, her mouth opening and closing, making it obvious she was struggling with the response. Why though? Were Twilight's conditions that bad? Or is she trying to come up with a good way to explain what her fate will end up being? The mystery clawed at my nerves, demanding an answer.
In the end, Emerald said, "Actually, how about you come with me? It would be easier to explain then."
I nodded and followed her. We headed down a few corridors and then approached a door. Emerald pushed the door open and led me inside. Once I took in the room, my breath hitched quietly.
On the hospital bed, was Twilight's unconscious form. An oxygen mask was fixed over her snout. Her left arm was covered completely in a bandage. A couple of plasters were placed on other bruised bits on her body. I felt sad and distressed seeing her like this. For such a strong mare, watching her limp on a hospital bed was far from the greatest feeling.
For a while, nothing was said. Even time seemed like it slowed in mourn for Twilight. I made a mental note to better protect Twilight next time.
"So then," I began, not knowing what else to do. "What is it you would like to tell me? Take your time if necessary." Cause it's not like anything else matters to me.
Emerald took two deep breaths before starting. "Yes. First things first, as mentioned, she lives. Mercifully, fate wants her to survive."
"And...? Anything else?" I asked.
"Of course!" Emerald replied. "Here's the thing. Me and the other doctors have tended to most of her wounds except one. And... I think it's pretty obvious which one that is."
I gestured to Twilight's wrapped arm, "That one?"
Emerald winced. "Well... yes. That one."
I raised my eyebrow. "Tell me about it."
"You see, me and the others did try to heal that wound but... with no prevail. Apparently, the acid that spilled on her, it's somehow unaffected by magic."
I sighed. "Indeed it is. Twilight has a tendency to make magic-proof things. She does that to insure, almost nothing would affect the machines so they'd always be protected... until today that is."
"I see," Emerald said, glancing toward Twilight. "Anyways, after several attempts at trying to fix the injury and figuring we can't fix it, we came to our final conclusion."
"And that is?" My chest ached.
"We decided... to remove that arm and replace it with a prosthetic one," Emerald finished quickly.
It took a minute or two for my brain to process what I just heard. She said, in lament terms, cut off Twilight's entire arm and stick on a hoof made of metal and technology. Why did that make me feel so hollow? Why do I feel even sadder than before?
I locked my eyes on Emerald's bright green ones. "Is it your only option? Is there not any other alternative?"
Emerald sadly shook her head. "Believe me, your majesty, I wish there was. But I just said, I and the doctors tried everything else. Her hoof is completely burned from the acid. Even the flesh and now the bones too. We can't take out the acid either since it's resistant to all our items. So, alas, the best option is to remove the arm entirely. Then she won't walk around with rotting flesh. Plus, if she does, the chemicals of the acid might spread to the rest of her body, which could increase her chance of death. I'm sure none want that."
The sadness was a heavy lump in my throat, threatening to bring tears. I swallowed them down, painfully. Forcing on a calm, not-sad-sounding voice, I responded, "Alright. It is for the better."
Emerald gave a stiff nod, "It is for the better," she echoed. Then she paused for a minute before piping up again. "One more thing, your majesty."
"Yes?"
"I'm afraid her mane also will be cut short."
I blinked at her, then at Twilight's frizzled mane, then back at Emerald again. "Really? Why?"
"As you can see," she flourished her leg at Twilight's long locks. "Her mane is burned with toxic chemicals. It needs to be cut or the chemicals will damage her head."
Now the threat of tears was overwhelming. I forced them back once more. "I see."
A long silence passed. Emerald was the first to break it. "Your majesty, there are some things I need to get from the staff room. Do you mind watching the patient?"
"Sure," I muttered.
Emerald gave a short bow before heading out the door. Leaving me alone with Twilight.
I moved slowly towards her side, shifting slowly closer. But not too close. I felt the threat of tears twisting my throat again. Now I couldn't stop them, I had already done so longer than I should have.
Carefully, I placed my forehead on the end of her right hoof, it was the first actual contact made between us.
Then I felt them. Tears dripped down my nose and on her hoof. I didn't understand why fate was so cruel to me. Why, out of all ponies, why did the one and only pony I like have to end up like this? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why Twilight?
I felt so conflicted, maybe I deserve this. For all the cruelty I commit, maybe this is karma. Watching the one and only pony I care about hurt and unconscious on a hospital bed. But then there's the other question. If fate wanted to punish me, why didn't it hurt me? Why did it specifically hurt Twilight? I could have been a better option. Twilight didn't deserve to be hurt.
And that's why I don't deserve her. I'm cruel, I'm a terrorist, and I destroyed the lives of so many ponies. I'm a monster. Monsters don't deserve to be loved. All they need to do is continue being the heartless creatures they are.
Not that I regret all my crimes. Ones like murdering the previous king and enslaving the crystal ponies. Those I do not and will never regret. In exchange for my sister's murder, this will continue until I think it's time to stop.
I just wish Twilight wasn't so affected to the point where she'd end up like this. Perhaps there is a good reason for Twilight not staying in the empire, she wouldn't be hurt. Ever.
I glanced at her face. Her beautiful, serene, angelic face. I wanted to extend my hoof and brush her bangs out of her face. But I shouldn't. Not until I know she lets me touch her like that.
Through her hoof, I thought I felt her heartbeat. It was slow and rhythmic. I just wish, I could tell her how I feel, that she means the world to me, that I would do anything for her, and that I thought the title of second in command wasn't enough for her. She needed to be queen. She deserves to be queen.
Light hoof steps made my ears twitch. Emerald was coming. She can't see me like this.
I looked back at Twilight. I'll visit you soon, I promised internally. No matter the war inside me, I will still come daily and make sure she's alright. That's the least I could do so far.
So I got up and used a quick spell to dry my face. I adjusted my shoulders and straightened my pose to a tall, regal position. Then I looked out the window, pretending nothing was in distress about me.
As expected, Emerald walked in the door. Some unfamiliar object was held in her mouth. She set it on the table beside the hospital bed before turning to me. "Are you leaving now?"
"Indeed," I responded. "I will be back tomorrow to check. In the meantime, good luck."
She bowed, "Thank you, your majesty."
I was at my desk, writing and thinking. The Parasite driving me nuts as always. I had a deep want to find a way to shut him up just for some peace.
He'd told me what he always tells me. That I'm losing myself. He thinks something is thoroughly wrong with me... along with everything else wrong with me, of course!
'Everything is most definitely wrong about you. You were born a messed up mistake."
That pretty much sums me up.
'Now you're more wrong than ever since that little bitch went in your head.'
Shut up, I hissed, feeling the flame of anger.
'Make me!' he snarled. 'I wouldn't be jabbering at you like this if it weren't for that disease. Your life would be so much easier if just SHE didn't come in.'
More like YOUR life would be easier if she didn't come in, I shot back. I don't get it, it's not as if she's affecting you being in my head. My thoughts of her shouldn't affect you.
'No, you idiot! When you think of her, you feel LOVE. Which is the most disgusting thing in the universe. I'm a creature of darkness and feed on negative emotions. So your feeling of love hurts me because I'm allergic to it.'
That switched on a light inside me. This implies love weakens the Parasite. And it made sense. My misery and anger fuel him whereas thinking about Twilight weakens him.
That's why he's trying to drag me away from Twilight. That's why he keeps telling me I'm not worthy of her, so I would forget her, feel bad and make him powerful again.
That also explains the nightmares. They're not as gruesome as they used to be. His power is weakening.
Twilight is right. I really shouldn't let this inner demon be the boss of me. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and however I want. This freak doesn't get to control my decisions. I am King Sombra. Nothing and no pony dare tell me what to do.
Falling to a feeling doesn't make you weak, Twilight's voice echoed, blissfully, in my ears. What she said to me before. I want to do what she said. I know that's what she would want me to do.
Instead, feel strong for embracing the feeling. I closed my eyes, letting the euphoric shiver run along my spine like an enchanting spell. Twilight wants me to be me anytime and anywhere. A true lover is someone who doesn't forget his or her lover. But he or she also wouldn't forget themselves.
I glanced out the window. It had been a day or two since I last visited Twilight and my heart ached to see her again.
Maybe I can take some things for her. An update list of things going on in the castle, she would want that. And perhaps for a sweet gesture, I could also make her something.
But what?
I thought and thought. What can I give her that would be good enough? What would she like? It can't be perfect because nothing is perfect. But it should be something I'm good at making. However, it should also be something special, not something easy and lame.
In the end, I came up with something just right.
Snow was falling gently from the sky as I headed toward the hospital. It had taken me quite a while to get everything ready. Luckily, it hadn't taken too long.
'You know your currently at your worst?'
I know, I responded leisurely. Only to you.
'She will never love you. You will always be a monster.'
For now. Her decision is one I'll respect, but for the time in between, I will put on my best effort and try to win her heart.
'There is absolutely no way I can talk you out of this.'
Good, then stop trying and take a break.
'GO ROT IN TARTARUS!!!!'
Make me, bitch.
'Why you little...'
Just shut the fuck up.
Much to my relief, he quieted down. Finally, I'm given a little peace. At the moment, there is nothing better.
It didn't take long to reach the hospital. Once I was inside, I headed to Twilight's room. My chest pounded. I can't wait to see her angelic face again.
Just as last time, Twilight was there. The only difference is, she's awake. The second difference, she had only one arm. Her right foreleg. I felt a pang in my chest. I really didn't like seeing her like this, but at least she was okay.
Even her mane was cut short. Now it was at neck length.
She looked up immediately when she noticed me. Her sparkling, violet eyes widened slightly, and her faintly slumped posture straightened.
"Your majesty," she addressed, dipping her head downwards.
My gaze saddened. "You don't have to do that," I said softly. "For as long as you're here, such formalities don't matter."
She simply nodded. Even with that determined fire in her eyes, I still made out tiredness, boredom and... sadness too. She had straightened her position, but I noticed the way her shoulders curved. They were laid back in a sad, exhausted way. They weren't held forward and flexing occasionally with muscle.
That made sense, Twilight may mostly be a strong mare, a flower who refused to sway in wind. Here though, she was dismembered of one body part and alone. She had no pony to speak with aside from the doctors. She was tired and likely longed to be in her cozy, star-themed room.
I will make it better for her.
"How are you doing," I asked.
She gave me a small, heart-melting smile, "I'm feeling alright. Aside from the arm, of course." Then her smile fell, I wished she held it longer. Her smile is radiant.
Not knowing what else to say, I decided to get right to showing her the stuff I brought.
I set the box I'd been carrying on the table next to the bed. Opening it up, I lifted out a scroll. I levitated it over to Twilight while explaining when I caught her adorable, curious face. "This, you see, is an update list of things going around the castle such as notices from Canterlot and placement of books in the library which I look over for you. As for the lab and its renovation from ahem... you know what. Any repairs and the current state it is in which Aurora looks over for you."
A smile spread across her face again. I noticed her body relaxing a bit more. I felt proud for bringing that kind of effect on her.
"Does that satisfy you?" I asked.
She looked up, meeting my eyes, the smile still on her face. "Yes, it does."
The moment may have lasted for a brief second, but the meaning behind it was vast and powerful. It felt as though the universe itself shaped this moment to come to life. As though time slowed to display its special aura of this moment. A moment for two ponies. One: me, a stallion hopelessly in love with a mare he came across two years ago. The other: is Twilight. A mare I'm not too sure likes me the same way or not. Only time and my fate will tell me.
But the moment ended like that when Twilight broke our eye contact and glanced at the box. "So," she said. "What else is in there?"
I scratched the back of my neck. "Well... that... is other stuff."
Twilight raised her eyebrow. "Alright, other stuff. May I see this other stuff?"
I nodded, a bit sheepishly. "Of course, you're meant to see it."
I took a deep breath before lifting the content out of the box. The content contained a card, a crystal flower and a small jar of chocolate chip cookies.
I gave her the card first.
Twilight's eyes widened when she laid her eyes on it. The card's surface was mostly a very well-drawn picture of Twilight. In the corner were the words 'get well soon.'
I suddenly felt hot. A weird heat sensation rushed over my spine and into my chest, which was pounding hard. Is this what it's like to feel nervous? That is quite uncharacteristic in my case. I'm not usually the nervous type.
The card was something I fumbled over a lot. I thought I could write something but then thought I had no idea what to write. Would Twilight even want to read a bunch of cheesy words? Probably not. So then I drew instead.
In terms of drawing, it's actually my secret talent. As a colt, I loved to practise magic spells and study. I loved training to be a soldier. But I also loved drawing on the scrap pieces of paper I find or have. I enjoyed making carvings out of crystal. Over time of quietly practising, my skills got better and better. So now, I thought I could put those skills to use.
I just hope Twilight will like it.
So far, her eyes were still wide. The card floating in her magic, her irises roving from top to bottom. Viewing the picture of herself. I noticed, how her shock wasn't out of disgust or because the drawing was bad. I know, what shocked her was the fact that no pony had ever done something like that for her.
It made me feel both sad and happy.
Then Twilight brought the card closer to her chest, holding it there with her one hoof. "Th-this is for me?"
I couldn't help but lean in slightly. "Er... yes. It's for you. It took me a little while to make it. Is the drawing fine?"
She looked at it again. "The drawing is really well drawn." A long minute passed in silence before she spoke again. "Thank you."
She placed the card beside her.
I gave her the crystal flower next.
This time her reaction was glorious.
As soon as the flower came into her view, a soft pink blush bloomed on her cheeks. I have never seen a sight so cute in my whole life. I wished I could lean in a place a small kiss on her cute nose. She'd likely have a heart attack if I did that.
"D-did you... make this?" she asked.
I smiled at her, "I did."
"Don't you think that's a bit excessive for a present?"
Nothing is excessive for you.
"No. It is just a flower. What does that do?"
She eyed the flower a bit more before setting it beside her as well, on top of the card. For a minute or two, she was looking at the items with a wistful, meaningful edge to her face. It made my heart twist.
Then I passed her the cookies.
Her eyes widened when the jar landed on her lap. On the spot beneath the lid, there was a red ribbon tied. The lid itself was marked with Twilight's cutie mark.
The lavender unicorn's look fell into one of curiosity again. She scrutinized the jar everywhere before directing the look at me. "Where did you get these? Did someone make them?"
My hoof was automatically scratching the back of my neck again. The hotness was back. I really didn't want to say this, but I'll be strong. For her. I was so nervous though. But I mustered the words out anyway. "I made them."
Dead silence. It lasted for a minute and a half before Twilight broke it. "Really? You made them? Now I'm wondering how that went."
I couldn't help but grin sheepishly at the memory that flashed through my head. "It's actually a long but interesting story."
Twilight looked from the jar to me. Once, twice, and then said, "Do share."
I sat down beside the bed. This story is going to be a kind of long one. An undoubtfully stupid one. However, still worthwhile. At least, for me. It could be classified as practically King Sombra's tale of sheer humiliation and stupidity. I will never forget it.
How do chefs and bakers remain sane doing that stuff?
I inhaled a deep breath, "It all started this morning when I decided I wanted to give you a... er... get well soon present because I li-no, I wanted to give you appreciation for all the hard work you do. And then I thought: cookies!!! Cookies are perfect. I made the cookies but..."
Twilight raised her eyebrow. "But what?"
"Let's just say... the process of... making the cookies was... well... it took a bit longer. And I may have... screweditthefirstcoupleoftimes." I finished, quickly grumbling off the last words.
But Twilight caught them. Her face morphed into a look of terror. "Oh no, how many times exactly?"
I swallowed a hard lump of saliva, my head feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was feeling weird from my own embarrassment. I was being an idiot. But I was frustrated. A little bit stressed out. Why? Just cause I couldn't make a batch of cookies in the fucking right way.
I croaked out my reply, "Five times."
Twilight's one hoof flew to her mouth in an instant. Shock and something else in her eyes I couldn't identify. I saw her shoulders beginning to shake. I had no clue why.
"F-five times?" she echoed.
And then she burst out laughing. That explains why her shoulders were shaking. But I could only look on with an incredulous look on my face. Even if her reason for laughing made perfect sense. I felt glad for finally making her laugh like that.
But still. She was laughing at me. Me! The king of the Crystal Empire. Normally, I would have tossed anyone laughing at me in the dungeon for a month. But with her, I felt like laughing along with her.
The giddiness came out of me with an amused chuckle. I can't believe I'm laughing at myself. I can't help myself, though. I'm mainly glad I managed to cheer Twilight up. Hearing her laugh is way, way better than seeing her all sad and lonely.
Eventually, Twilight's laughter winded down to a stop. Her sides were heaving to catch her breath and calm herself. She lifted her hoof to her eyes, wiping away the tears.
She then opened her mouth to respond only to break into a coughing fit. I filled the plastic cup with a jug of water, which rested on the table beside the bed. "Here," I said, passing her the cup. "You should be a bit more careful next time."
She quickly finished the water before giving me a half-lidded glare. "You're the one who made me laugh. I wouldn't have laughed otherwise. In fact, I haven't laughed like that in years. Feels kind of weird I just did."
I nodded. "I know. Mostly your face is impassive as stone. Slightly determined, but that's it. Nothing else is visible."
"You're the one that taught me to do that," she retorted.
Oh, yeah. I did.
I wasn't able to answer when Twilight suddenly leaned in. "You said it took you five tries to make these cookies. I'd like to know all about that if you don't mind?" I saw her eyes shimmering. How by crystals can I say no to that?
So I said, "Alright. Since there is nothing else to do. And since you really want to know."
Twilight laid back against the pillow and put her hoof in her lap in a display of full attention. "Yes," she agreed. "My whole body is agitated to know. I can sense how worthwhile that would be."
I smiled and sat at her bedside, ready to give her whatever the fuck she desired. For now, she wants to know my five attempts at making cookies. That is what she will get. For all she's done, this is the least I can do in turn. However, if it makes her happy, that's more than enough I can ask.
"Here's how it went," I began. "Let me get straight to attempt one as any stuff before that is boring. So here's attempt one..." I paused for the invisible dramatic flare. "I burned the cookies."
Twilight began shaking again. I could clearly see her trying to contain herself. I could feel a flat, unamused glare plastering onto my muzzle. It must be why she calmed herself down. A single glance to my frown and she heaved several deep breaths and then said, "How did you burn them?"
My ears flattened against my head. I lowered my head and rested my chin on the blanket. When I spoke, my voice came out more small and nervous than I wanted. "Well, let's just say I got mad at the oven for not working."
She raised an eyebrow. "Did you find out why it wasn't working?"
I buried my face in my hooves in embarrassment. "The reason why is even worse."
"What is it, though?"
"It wasn't plugged in."
And that was the final straw, she burst out laughing even louder than before. It was messy with occasional coughing and then laughing again. She was doubling over and trying to keep herself up on her one hoof. I had to place my hoof on her withers to help.
I gave her a few seconds to wind down. Albeit with an extremely unappreciative scowl. "Okay look, it's not as if I'm so experienced with such matters. It was my first time so what do you expect?"
Twilight snorted. "Some common sense would do, though, wouldn't it?"
I didn't answer. She is very correct. No wonder I felt so stupid.
She exhaled a deep breath. "So then, how about attempt two?"
"I put in salt instead of sugar."
"How."
"Some idiot placed it in the same cupboard as the sugar."
"Were they labelled?"
I didn't respond. Which gave it away.
"They were labelled," Twilight said.
I simply wrinkled my snout, feeling a hot flame of anger in my nerves. "I'm still not to blame. The labelling was too small. Both substances are white. The writing of the labels was one I could barely read."
"Something tells me the pony who did that didn't fare well."
I smiled viciously, "He really didn't."
"What did you do to him?"
"A mild electrocution spell. He still lives. The effects can hurt but still aren't too serious."
She nodded, wearing a thoughtful look. She brought her hoof up to ruffle through her short mane. I had to admit she did look irresistibly cute with her short mane. I still missed the lengthy locks though. There were lots of times when I wished I could stick my muzzle in that long hair.
"And attempt three?" she asked.
I sighed. "I was too lost in thought to concentrate. Eventually, the frustration came so heavy on me, I destroyed the ingredients." That's not the truth, though. At the time, the Parasite was talking to me and angered me to the point which I did that. Yeah, it was not fun.
Twilight eyed me warily. "Why does it sound like there's more to it than just that? Is there something that's actually bothering you?"
Yes, I thought sadly. And it's been bothering me since I was a colt. I long to know the day when it will cease to bother me.
Externally, I shook my head. I wasn't sure whether to tell her about the Parasite yet. It seemed a bit too personal for now. "No. I was just thinking of some unpleasant things and arguing with myself about something. Nothing more than that."
Her look didn't change. It was clear, she still didn't believe me. Maybe I can tell her some other day. When I can trust her a little bit more with personal stuff like this. I know if I were to say anything like that now, she will wonder about the whole story. Everything from when I was a colt to the day I was banished. I'll tell her when I feel like I'm capable of it.
And besides, she's currently lying on a hospital bed with a lot on her mind already. If I tell her my tragic tale, it will do her nothing but more stress. I'm not in the mood of doing that. So I will tell her when I think the time is right.
Twilight turned herself and rested the back of her head against the pillow, exhaling a shaky breath. "Okay then, attempt four then it is."
My ears lifted up, feeling eager to change the topic because attempt four is also one to remember. "Yes, yes," I said. "Attempt four." I paused for the dramatic effect. "I overcooked them..."
Twilight's eyes immediately widened. She quickly turned her head to me. "Overcooked? How?"
A flat glare of annoyance fixed its way on my face. "I didn't have so much knowledge as to which temperature I should heat the oven. And while I waited for the cookies to bake, I was thinking about... well... some specific pony and the cookies... you know."
"Who were you thinking about?" Twilight questioned, a curious glint in her violet eyes. "Whomever they are, they sound important if they tipped you off focus that much."
You are certainly important, I thought bluntly. And you are definitely something that tips me off focus a lot. I wish I could confess everything to her.
"That's not important," I said outwardly.
"Uh-huh," she said. "I guess that brings us to the last attempt. Attempt number five." Her ears twitched with noticeable anticipation.
"That's not too difficult. Let me just round it up by saying I slipped on some spilled water and crashed everything including the ingredients mixed. My shoulder still hurts."
That gave Twilight her third wind of laughter. She doubled over while struggling to keep herself straight. I swiftly caught her around her midsection before she could fall or hurt herself more. She finished off by gasping for air and coughing violently.
But then she stopped, the movement of her body came to an abrupt halt. Her eyes went down to where I was holding her. In the same minute, even I realized I was holding her in a way that seemed almost... intimate. I suddenly felt both awkward and good. This is the closest I've ever gotten to her.
We remained frozen in place like that. Our eyes met and didn't let go. Our muzzles were inches apart. Her gaze held surprise, confusion, and longing and looked like I was the ending of the raging storm. Like I was the sun that suddenly lightened the sky. Like I was the moon on a clear star-speckled night. I know all I have to do is lean closer and our lips will touch. A whirlwind of thoughts spun like crazy through my mind. I wondered if I should just seal the deal here or if I should let her make the move. I don't want to kiss her and then have her tell me she didn't want it. I know perfectly well my heart will break into splinters if I got rejected.
That lead me to my final decision.
I won't kiss her.
I'm not selfishly claiming her just like that, without letting her think through it enough. I want to insure she'll be alright with it first. And besides, I can't kiss her while she's here at the hospital. In a bit, the doctors will fix the prosthetic limb on her and she will be able to come to the castle. I just need to spend a bit more time with her and have her get comfortable with my presence. Give her a chance to figure out her feelings. And then I'll see if a kiss is in order or not.
It did make me sad because I want to kiss her. It's something I longed to do for months now. I've spent two years with her and wasn't able to come into any physical contact with her. We're always so caught up in our work we barely spoke aside from the conference meetings. Yet all that time, beneath my cold, stoic exterior, I was thinking endlessly about her. To kiss her was something I always believed would be the comforting whisper of a dream. All the ways I would please her and show her just how much she means to me were only a distant thought.
Eventually, I moved back and retracted my hoof. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I shall be more mindful next time."
She looked to the side. Her shoulders and ears seemed to fall. Her demeanor was suddenly so sad looking, I wondered if she was expecting me to kiss her all along.
I glanced at the clock and then realized I'd spent a long, long time here. It was time for me to depart.
I stood up, "I must head back now," I said. Lifting the box I brought with my red aura. "I wish you the best of luck." I hesitated before adding. "I hope you get better soon and return to the castle." Return to me.
She was watching me with such a remorseful look, I could only wish I can stay and hug her and tell her she is not and never will be lonely. I would tell her I'm here with her forever. But I can't. I may love her to shreds, but I can't let it get in the way of life. My life is still here, there are things I have to do.
She seemed to understand that too when she smiled slightly. "Thank you, King Sombra. For coming here and for the gifts."
A week later
Today is a great day. Twilight is done with her operation and is returning to the castle. After my visit to the hospital, I never saw her again because of work. I tried to make some time to see her again but, alas, was unable to. For now, I'm mostly glad her time in the hospital is done.
I slid the letter she sent me into a drawer beneath the surface of my desk. She told me to meet her where the crystal heart used to be. So I adjusted my red mantle and headed out. I was so bored over this time. Silver Vain, Flame Jet and the crystal ponies are such dreadful conversation partners. They would give really dull responses or not respond at all. I do try to talk with Aurora but she's mostly busy with the science lab. It is a shame. Aurora was currently the most not-boring pony I could speak with. Now that Twilight is coming back, I won't be bored anymore.
In a bit, I arrived at the base of the empire. At the very center was where the crystal heart was initially. I removed it as soon as I took control of the empire almost three years ago. The crystal heart now resides in a locked room in the castle. I placed a security spell on the door only I can de-activate.
And there I waited and waited for her to come. While waiting I came across a filly and colt (they appeared to be twins) playing nearby. I watched them continuously until the ball was accidently kicked at me. It hit me on my side. The twins stopped and stared on in terror for an entire minute. I did raise my eyebrow at them in a playful scare attempt (which worked flawlessly!) Here's the truth, I never hurt foals. I may be a horrible, violent and cruel terrorist, but I never ever hurt a foal. I could never, they're too young and innocent. They're still growing and have their whole lives ahead of them. I can't just ruin it now. Even if I already sort of did with the war conditions and everything. So I just sent the ball back to them and advised them to be careful. They were stunned, but they still said thank you. I wondered why adults never have the nerve to say thank you like that.
After that I waited a bit more and then Twilight showed up. She was strolling along the dark streets with a scarf tied around her neck. She looked so gorgeous with her short mane blowing lightly in the wind. Her posture was so perfectly graceful, I thought all that time she spent in the hospital was nonexistent. As though she never got hurt at all.
Then there's the bit that makes me think otherwise. I could see it so clearly. No longer is her real, lavender limb present as a metal, magically charged prosthetic hoof was in its place. Her right hindleg had a bandage on it. A few plasters were placed on several other spots.
"Your majesty," she addressed, bowing. "How are you doing."
"Why are you asking me that? Aren't I the one meant to ask you that? You're the one who just came out of the hospital. I've been fine and standing all this time meanwhile."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, but just because I came out of the hospital doesn't mean I'm helpless. I'm still moving of my own accord. I'm still here and standing and talking with you. Is some time in the hospital going to change that?"
No, that's why I love you.
"I suppose that's why you're so amazing," I said. "And worthy of so much more than you have. I've honestly never met a mare like you before, Twilight Sparkle."
She dipped her chin down, but the blush on her face didn't go unnoticed. I caught it the very moment it appeared. She looked so fucking cute, my heart melted.
She traced a circle with the tip of her organic hoof on the ground. The aura around her was suddenly equivalent to that of a shy high school filly about to confess her crush. Except I was certain Twilight would never say such cheesy things. It would be adorable if she did though, she'd get all nervous, twirl her hoof through her mane and speak with short sentences. I enjoyed picturing that.
"Well," she said with a timid smile and edge to her voice. "Every mare is different. I can't possibly be any more special than other mares. What should make me more special than them aside from just a few differences?"
I took a step closer. "Well, not every mare is able to solve the hardest equation under five minutes. Not every mare is able to run three big responsibilities at one time. Not every mare is so selfless that she'd risk damage to her own body just to save the whole empire. No, that's only you. And that's what makes you so special." I looked deep into the ocean of violet in her eyes.
She looked back with the same intensity. Her lower lip quivering like she wanted to say something but couldn't think of anything. Her ears laid back in the gentle wind. Her shoulders twitching constantly, unsure of what to do and out of genuine anxiety. I could feel her thinking it out. Going over the possibilities in her head of each and every outcome.
She looked down again. After a while, she only mumbled a quiet thank you. I can't help but grin in turn. I love seeing her like this. And this is the first time I am seeing her like this. Every other time, I'm seeing her in armor, emotions hidden and speaking with monotone formality.
"How about your new hoof. Anything I should be aware of?" I asked.
She lifted the prosthetic leg, "The spell in the blue glass isn't permanent. It needs to be renewed every once a month. I'd say, at the end of every month sounds good."
I examined the leg. It was a deep blueish-grey. The components folded where an organic pony leg's folds are. Near the end of the hoof, exactly five inches above the very end, there was a component made of blue glass with a glowing, white, magical liquidy substance inside. It was pretty interesting.
"What does the spell do?"
"It allows for the components to remain stable. I'm also able to move the leg like this one," she shifts her real leg. "The spell is pretty confusing and weird though. Do you understand it?"
She teleported a scroll and passed it to me. I unrolled it and read the spell over twice. I realized the spell was pretty simple for me. I deciphered and understood every word.
"I get the spell perfectly," I said.
She glanced at me with surprise. "You do?"
I nodded, "Every word."
Her eyes passed from the scroll to me. Her lip was quivering again, this time because she really wants to say something she doesn't want to say.
"Alright," she began with a sigh. "If you understand the spell then... can you do the spell for me at the end of every month? I mean, I wish I didn't have..."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded. "You don't need to ask. I will certainly do that for you. How hard of a task is it that I won't be able to?"
She looked away with guilt. "I just don't feel so easy with asking you any favors. Even if the task is simple." Her ears flopped down.
I took another step closer to her. "It's fine. I completely don't mind. Besides, I have to find some way to repay you for all that time in the hospital."
She smiled, her face appeared even more beautiful. "I mean, if I didn't, the whole empire could have potentially been damaged. I think that's worse than just one pony. So, therefore, this outcome is better because only one pony got hurt. Not the whole kingdom. That would be like forfeiting the war under a specific condition. We would give Celestia a free win."
I gazed somberly into the distance. Of course, I won't want to forfeit the war. But if it means losing Twilight, would winning the war do me any good. Perhaps it still will just because I'm a selfish idiot. And then later on I would feel horrible for losing Twilight.
Not that I'll allow Twilight to die. She will never die. I'll make sure.
"Your majesty?" she said, breaking my train of thought. "Are you alright?"
I snapped out of my trance and turned my attention back to Twilight. She was watching me with hinting concern in her eyes. Her head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed together.
I nodded. "Yes, I'm alright." After a second I said, "Come. Let's go. You must be tired and hungry."
With that, we headed inside.
Later that night
I was searching for Twilight. I have a surprise ready for her. If I can just find her first.
I turned down another hallway and spotted Silver Vain up ahead with Flame Jet. The two were lovers. The funny bit is, they actually wanted for their relationship to be a secret between them, but then I caught them kissing each other once in the conference room. They were so hilariously shocked when I suddenly came in the picture. Although, at that time my experience with romance was little to zero, so I just stood there with a blunt, are-you-fucking-serious look on my face. The poor ponies could only weakly move away from each other. I told them if they wanted to make out, they could do that elsewhere with less interruption.
For some reason, when I approached them now, they tensed up. Weird, nothing obtrusive was happening this time. I didn't stalk up on them.
"Your highness," they said in unison, bowing deeply.
"Greetings Miss Vain, Mister Jet. I'm glad you're not making out this time."
Both of them blushed.
"No," Silver said, finally. "We are not. We know when is the best time for such acts now. Not at random."
I nodded approvingly. "That's right. Anyways, have the two of you seen Twilight anywhere?"
Flame shook his head while Silver responded. "She's in the library," she said. "I think she was reshelving some books."
I gave a nod, "Thank you."
I walked passed them towards the library. Twilight was busy at work again. Despite all the time spent at the hospital, she was still up and about. She still had the will to keep doing her duties. Another reason for me to love her.
I noticed the Parasite had not spoken with me for some time now. Not that I want him to. I've been much more content recently because of that. He kept pestering me for centuries. I was ever grateful now that it doesn't occur so often.
Just as Silver had said, Twilight stood on a ladder while placing book after book on their individual spots. My eyes tracked her body. She still moved with empowering grace. And to top it all off, her body itself was quite delightful to look at. The small chest, the rather beautiful backside. She was slim, but lean.
I walked in, feeling giddy. "Hey Twilight," I called.
A mild jolt of surprise shook her. She turned her attention to me. "Yes?"
"Come with me, I would like to show you something."
With a quick teleportation spell, she was down. She placed the books she was levitating on her librarian desk. Then she faced me. "I'm ready."
"Follow me." I headed out. I sensed her trailing me. We went down a couple of halls. Sometimes, even I get tired of all these long distances we need to walk just to get from point a to point b.
Twilight came next to me. "What will you show me?" she asked.
I flicked her a smile. "Patience, my dear. You will see." But the fact that I can practically feel her itching curiosity was immensely pleasing.
Her resulting pouty face almost made me want to tell her right away. But no, a surprise is a surprise.
We arrived, at last, at a door. I gave her another smile before opening up the door. The space inside was cavernous. But that wasn't the surprise. The surprise was at the very center of the room.
New, replaced machines from the lab. The ones Twilight had made. I had found a list of them in her office one time when I went to check things out in the lab. And to chat with Aurora. I thought I could repair or replace them.
upon entering, Twilight halted mid-step. Her eyes roved over the machines. Her mouth hung open, eyes wide.
I walked up to one of the machines and placed my hoof on its side. "I found a list of yours with all the machines you had created. With some clarification from Aurora, I decided I could repair some of them which weren't too damaged. As for the ones that are really damaged. Well... at least the ones that are created by others out there. I donated some bits and a few items from the treasury for some of these. If your wondering how, I simply sent Aurora, the least mean looking pony I know, to Manehattan and get them." I hesitated. "Do you like it?"
A small, meaningful smile graced its way on her face. Her eyes glistened, a single teardrop dripped down her cheek. She walked over to the inventions. She brought up a hoof and stroked the renewed components. And then she turned to me. The smile stretched from ear to ear. My inner self told me: I did the right thing. That kind of reaction just makes me wholeheartedly believe it.
"I... I can't believe it. You did all that for me?"
I smiled, "The better question is: why wouldn't I?"
She came forward and stopped directly in front of me. She looked into my eyes, saying, "But nopony is going to do all this for just nothing. While I was at the hospital, you drew me a beautiful picture of me. You knew me so much, you brought a scroll with recent updates in and out of the empire knowing someone like me would want that. You had the gut to make cookies for me. Albeit with five attempts but you didn't give up still, for me. And now, you donated so many bits and items of value from the empire just to replace a few machines. Its like your wealth means nothing to you. I don't know about you but I can feel the catch here."
I was inclined to look away, but I forced myself to remain with our eyes locked. If I say this looking straight at her, she is bound to believe me more. "Lets just say, a certain pony here means way, way more to me than my wealth." Her eyes widened, but I carried on. "I don't give a fuck about my wealth. I don't give a fuck about my crown or my empire or my conquest. I would care if I was with someone else, but with one specific mare I came across two years ago, I would give away anything to make her happy. I would go the greatest, riskiest of lengths just to see her smile. Its worth it, I know it."
Twilight remained silent for a long time. Eventually, she stepped closer, more tears dripped down her face. "What does that say about you and that mare? What does that mean? What does that make them? That mare's always thought she wouldn't come to a place like this. She thought all she has to do is serve you and have her voice be heard. That mare just doesn't want to be worthless. She couldn't reach her potential at Canterlot. She was bullied and mocked by other foals. She was orphaned at a young age and left with nothing. So she ran away when time came and kept running for years. Until she came to the Crystal Empire, until she met you. That mare only thought she had to be an obedient subject, nothing more."
I shifted an inch closer. "That mare is far from an obedient subject. I can't bare even calling her that."
Twilight smiled. She heaved a deep breath before rising on the very tips of her hooves and placing a quick kiss on my nose. I froze, the air around me suddenly felt lighter. I felt numb to my knees. But I felt my power reaching a great height. I felt from this minute that the impossible is always possible. That if you just try to show some heart, the results can be great and endless. I've not felt like this since centuries. My chest hurt, but in a good way.
I lifted up a hoof and slowly touched her face. Not directly, I waited for her approval first. She nodded and then I proceeded. I gently brushed against her cheek, wiping away the tears while sliding even closer. Our lips were inches apart. I couldn't believe it. Two years, it took two years. Two years to make her a soldier, two years to make her powerful, two years to get to know her, to fall in love with her, to struggle with my feelings, to comprehend my feelings, to fight it all and be here.
"Can we?" I asked.
She nodded. "Now and forever."
Falling to a feeling doesn't make you weak.
My heart pounded against my chest, my muscles felt weak, my body was slightly shaking. I endured it, I endured it all and closed the distance.
Our lips finally met.
Feel strong for embracing the feeling, her voice echoed.
Time seemed to stop, the universe stopped moving. A new, blissful sensation sent a shiver rippling down my spine. I was so tense, so anxious. Now, all the anxiety melted away into love and blazing desire. My magic skyrocketed to the heavens. I felt so powerful and unbeatable. I was in such euphoria, I practically drifted away into an ocean of ecstasy. This moment was pure magic. Pure powerful, blinding and unmatched magic.
Though in reality, it lasted for only a few seconds. Slowly, we pulled apart. She smiled shyly, a rosy blush bloomed on her face. She didn't say anything, simply leaned against me, resting her head on my chest. I placed my hoof around the base of her neck and shifted closer while placing the bottom of my muzzle on the top of her head. I could stay here forever.
For all of eternity.
A few days later
I was on my throne, working. Again.
This time, however, I needed to put forth my best effort as I could sense it from here something strange is occuring in Canterlot. Recently a few of my spies came back from Canterlot reporting Celestia was planning for a final battle between Equestria and the Crystal Empire. The most annoying bit though is that most of the Equestrians think defeating the Crystal Empire is easy due to the Crystal Empire having less soldiers.
Those ponies are stupid.
I'm not an idiot.
I know Celestia's army has more ponies than mine. I'm fully aware Celestia's army has more advances than mine. That's why I planned ahead. That's why I think in all directions. That's why I sent secret battalions to Canterlot to chip away at her ponies bit by bit. Over the years my well-trained soldiers managed to destroy a lot of the equipment Celestia uses. They managed to kill or weaken most of the strongest ponies to a point in which they end up in the hospital. Once again, I may not be as powerful as Celestia, but I'm smarter than Celestia and Luna combined.
Now Celestia's army was a third of the amount of ponies she used to have. That should be good as her number of soldiers and my number of soldiers are the same now. That means both sides are even and I have a better shot with the final battle. I'll make sure it's worthwhile.
For now, I quickly scribbled away at the rest of the sheets and whisked them away to Canterlot. Apparently, Celestia really likes to sort out taxes and other boring crap like that. Why must I get involved?
Once done, I headed out the throne room. My heart was screaming at me to give this pony some love and attention. I don't think I can sit still until I fulfill the task.
My thoughts went back to our first kiss a few days ago. I couldn't possibly forget how magical it was.
'It was disgusting,' the Parasite grumbled darkly.
I smiled smugly. I haven't heard from you for a while. What happened?
The Parasite growled. 'I'm weakening, you cock. I fear today is the last day I will speak with you.'
I stopped. Last day you will speak to me?
He didn't answer. My veins burst with a feeling of such happiness, I thought I would pass out. I felt like destroying something, spinning my magic insane or yelling out over the balcony upon achieving something I thought I never would. The Parasite's been there since I was a colt. He kept talking to me, kept mentally torturing me, making my life absolute hell. I always dreamed of somehow eradicating him and showing him who he's messing with. And I did it!
My thoughts will finally be my own.
After a bit, I came to the science lab. The newly repaired science lab. Although a few burned marks still scarred some areas.
Most of the workers were on break right now, so there wasn't really anyone in the lab. I found Twilight-in her new lab coat-writing down what appeared to be a checklist. What else would this girl be possibly doing?
Twilight looked up when she noticed me. I came and stopped just beside her, "Greetings, love."
She turned back to her checklist but smiled as she replied, "Greetings, Sombra."
I placed my chin on her shoulder. "What are you doing?"
She flicked me raised eyebrow. "I'm writing down all the things I should get done before the final battle comes. Anything necessary should be done now before it's too late."
"But what else would you do aside from work and work and work?" I asked, planting a light kiss on the side of her neck. "What else would Twily do?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to make myself useful, unlike you. All you do is sit around complaining about Celestia and taxes."
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Well, taxes are dreadful and so is Celestia."
I craned my head higher and dug my snout in her mane, the scent of lavender entered my nose. I brought my for legs around her waist, hugging her tight.
Twilight continued writing down on her checklist. But she did place her real leg on mine.
We remained like that for a bit. Eventually, Twilight finished up with her checklist and turned to me. "So then, Mister Sombra? What are you here for?"
I leaned in and nuzzled the side of her face. "I came here to give you love and attention."
Twilight raised her brow. "Is that it? Nothing else?"
"What else is there?"
"Lots of things actually."
"But those things aren't as good as this."
"You big softie," she swooned.
"Only for you I am."
I moved away as she stepped down from the stool she was sitting on. With a quick flash of her horn, her lab coat was replaced with her signature black armor. With that, we exited the lab.
"Anything about the war aside from the final battle being only a few days away?" she asked.
I gave her a half smile. "Nothing much aside from that as of now. Not that too much information is necessary. I know for sure the empire will win." Saying the words gave me more hope.
Twilight looked into the distance. "You shouldn't be too sure though. We may have broken down Celestia's army bit by bit, but that doesn't mean her army lost all its advances. It's a fifty percent chance on both sides for victory."
I snorted flatly. "Twilight, one thing I know is that you worry too much. Another thing I know is that the winning chance is really a sixty percent on our side due to all the technology and devices you made to give my soldiers the boost they need. Surely not a single pony on their side could be as smart as you."
She smiled at that. "Well, you could be saying that because you're being biased." She turned accusing eyes at me.
I glanced sideways. "Maybe, but it's still not bias. I know because of all the information my spies have gathered over the course of these years. They told me Celestia still works with things you'd expect any pony to use in times of war. But as I mentioned, we are using new, geniusly invented things."
Twilight laughed. "I guess when you put it like that, it does give me more confidence regarding this battle."
We stepped out to the balcony of the castle. Snow coated the landscape. Crystal ponies working and preparing for the battle below.
I placed my hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Trust me, my love. We will win."
Twilight stepped closer to me. We came in for a brief but passionate kiss.
This is how we've been for two years. Soldiers fighting side by side. There is not a single battle we lost because we work together and listen to each other. Even before we became lovers. Normally you'd expect and villain to hate even thinking about working together. But I'm a different story.
"It's okay." Twilight said. "Whatever the universe will throw at us, we will be ready for it as together, we are unstoppable."
We exchanged a smile and looked out to the horizon.
"Indeed," I said. "We are unstoppable."
