The Queen of the Dark Ch. I

The actor has spirit, but little conscience of the spirit. He always believes in that with which he most strongly inspires belief—in himself!

To defeat—that means for him: to prove. To drive to frenzy—that means for him: to convince. And blood is to him the best of all arguments.

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But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you ambush yourself in caverns and forests.

You will be a heretic to yourself, and a sorcerer and a soothsayer, and a fool, and a doubter, and a reprobate, and a villain.

You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes!

You solitary one, you go the way of the lover: you love yourself, and on that account you despise yourself, as only the lover can despise.

Nietzsche

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Everything went dark. It was finally quiet.

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But only for a short while.

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Celestia attempted to move. Someone beneath her gasped in protest, and she immediately stopped.

A muffled gurgling sound preceded the hoarse, broken whisper of an unfamiliar voice, "Can you be more careful?"

"I can, but I have to pull," she explained.

The voice did not reply.

"Are you still with me?" she asked.

"...Do it," the answer followed, full of grim resignation.

Celestia pressed her foreleg into the changelings' body and attempted to gently dislodge her deeply stuck horn. Chrysalis uttered a moaning half-groan, landed her forelegs onto Celestia and shoved.

The horn slid out of the gaping wound. A few droplets of hot substance dripped over Celestia's muzzle. She had no strength to wipe it, and some of it got into her mouth. She stilled, processing the heady leaden taste.

She attempted to internalize what was going on. She failed.

For starters, what was she supposed to feel?... What was anyone supposed to feel in such a situation?

The changeling was gulping for breath, hacking, and wheezing.

"Chrysalis—"

"Shut up."

"What can—"

"Shut up. Just shut up."

Celestia could relate. Right now, non-existence was so much preferable to living.

There was no light around, and she had little of her own left to give. She closed her eyes, and there was no difference.

Only utter blackness.

"What are you doing?" Chrysalis called to her.

Trying to preserve her strength, Celestia went limp. 'I am inside the same cave system where I met cockatrices so long ago. I came full circle, and I am as helpless as before... Nothing had changed. The only difference is that I am not afraid of the monster.'

"Do not sleep," the demanding voice urged. She felt a tug on her shoulder. "I'm not sure if I'd be able to wake you."

"Don't sound so concerned. It's making me self-conscious," muttered Celestia.

"Is this how you want to go—to pass out like a slab of horse meat!?" barked Chrysalis.

She gripped on Celestia's mane and lifted her head. Celestia saw a pair of green flames, angrily peering at her.

"You're better than this."

"So you shielded me and keep being insufferable?" Celestia deadpanned.

She still didn't know what to think of it. Their mutual destruction was certain, and when she directed their bodies down onto the mountain, Chrysalis' response was to spread her essence around them. It was a bizarre and brief action, and it was filled with intense light, and it wasn't intended to preserve the changeling.

Chrysalis' transformed body wrapped around the alicorn and cushioned almost all of the impact. Celestia's dormant earth pony magic allowed her to slice into the slope; their powers tested against each other for the final time, and they managed to break into the old mining shaft, enduring fire and falling rocks alike.

The enormous mountain, like an ancient titan from fillies' tales, had swallowed them, buried them deep within its bosom. They stopped clinging to each other only when the rumble around ceased completely.

Their battle was over.

Nobody won.

"You've made your point, I won't pass out. Release me," Celestia demanded. Then, softer, "You're hurting me."

Chrysalis' green burned even brighter amidst the jagged rocks and minerals. Feverish passion and anger were pouring out of her, non-sated and unyielding. "You are the Sun…" She bared her teeth. "You… are… the most powerful being I've ever witnessed. I adore your power. Everything about you speaks of pure power to me. Even your weakness is powerful." Her slit pupils were trembling. "I hate it so much. I hate that I've become so powerful by leeching off of you.
"You are despicable, and your kingdom, and your attitude, too. I hate that we are in a bond. I hate that you need to restrain yourself. I hate that I need to rely on this power and that I need more of you, my sworn enemy."

"Enough..." muttered Celestia weakly, unable to impede this rush of emotion.

With sudden force, Chrysalis tossed her on the back and crawled on top.

Celestia whinnied from pain in her broken wing and panted, remaining placid throughout the ongoing verbal assault.

"But far more than all of that, I hate how countless moons ago, when I and my brood finally clawed out, through ambition, and fighting, and dominance, from the darkest pits of earth and forest depths, hungry and tarnished beyond any belief, we saw all you ponies surrounded by splendor and sunlight, taking it all for granted with your easy cushy lives! You lived this way for ages while we had to fight for every morsel of food!! We lived and died in dirt and darkness!! This hate is my drive! I vowed to make you all suffer, and nothing had brought me more exhilaration than this!
"How can't you see that they are cowardly parasites, unaware of anything outside of their cozy home? Selfish! Entitled! Undeserving! They have no strength! They are meant to be prey! Not knowing where their next meal comes from is a foreign concept to these insolent bastards!"

When Chrysalis stopped to heave a shuddering breath, Celestia grabbed her and pulled close. "You're done?" Her grip became firm iron. "That was... surprisingly pathetic. So much time and energy wasted for the hatred so meaningless and petty... Oh, you... poor savage monster."

Her legs wrapped around the changelings' barrel and squeezed. The weak carapace cracked under pressure. Chrysalis gasped and thrashed in pain, straining to get out.

There was nothing but terror, hatred, destruction, and malice in her wake. She murdered so many ponies, destroyed countless lives, ruined families and kingdoms... There can be no pity for this greedy and envious creature.

The changeling lunged and pushed her muzzle into the side of Celestia's neck. The alicorn grimaced, sensing sharp teeth against the vein. She moved her head back, daring the changeling to end this.

They entwined in a lethal embrace, more intimate than any lovemaking.

The darkness became filled with groans and rustles, interspersed with labored breathing. Celestia sensed a rush of anticipation, stark cold and grim. A sheer, plain wrongness undercut her efforts and expectations. 'Am I regressing? Am I yet another creature of the dark now?'

Chrysalis moved her jaws away, no longer threatening.

After a brief moment, Celestia let her go.

For a few drawn-out seconds, they were recovering in a devastated silence.

All of this was bewildering, so personal that it burned down to the core, and yet unreal and forbidden from happening. Not with her. Not with them.

And yet, it did.

It was unknown who made it first, but a snicker cut through the comparably small but echoing cave. The other answered it. The first one carried forth, and an instant storm of their nervous laughter had flooded the scene.

It sounded like a pathetic howling.

'This is an utter betrayal of all that we stand for...'

The laughter over the absurdity of it felt good and painful, and it was a visceral sort of pain, one that carried the tribulations of living.

"This duel of ours…" Chrysalis hoarsely muttered. "My, my… We were within inches from death, didn't we?" She pulled herself above, shining a curious eye. "It's even as if the air is clearer now. Don't you love it?"

Utterly spent, Celestia gave out yet another chuckle. There was a lot of stone dust in the cave they were in, but it's not like the alicorn strictly required breathing. "You're humoring me, but that's alright," she replied. "I love that we cut loose. The feeling is sublime..."

"We need to do it again," demanded Chrysalis.

"Not any time soon. I can barely move," said Celestia, smiling.

"It was worth it." Chrysalis' hoof trailed down on Celestia's bare chest. "Hm-m?~... What's this? Have you been hiding something?"

Celestia flushed, but it was too late to cover herself. She relaxed, allowing Chrysalis to inspect the exposed skin.

The peytral was gone, and now her black scar from a millennium-old lethal wound was on full display. Usually she masked it with a couple of uncomplicated spells, but those were dispelled in the middle of their heated battle.

"Looks grotesque, I know," said Celestia in a small voice.

"I like it."

"You're just saying that." Celestia looked aside.

"I'm serious. It really is beautiful."

"Your definition of beauty seems to be abnormal..."

"I am a shapeshifter," replied Chrysalis with a rustle of her gossamer wings. "I know that beauty can be found in absolutely anything. Life is an infinite, bright kaleidoscope of colors, of contrasts, and of power."

"That's how you see it?" asked Celestia.

"That's how you see it too, but have you ever paid attention to it?"

"Then why are you so bent on hurting others? Why not cherish and celebrate it in the light?"

"Oh, I celebrate it in my own way, and that is how the world must be: I survive, and the weak remain with nothing," said Chrysalis and uttered a low, dismayed hiss.

"Creatures like you are the whole reason why the world is wrong..."

"There's nothing wrong with the world. It is a place of wills that attempt to struggle against one another, of voices determined to outcry each other. It is a messy, and perilous, but glorious burling pot of ambitions and possibilities.
"It is you who took issue with it, you and your Harmony. I enjoy the world, if love is too strong a word."

"So am I to enjoy and tolerate injustice? And murderers?" Celestia gave Chrysalis a scorching look. "And rapists? All these indignities, amorality? All of their darkness? Am I to enjoy monsters like you?"

"I am one of a kind," proclaimed Chrysalis. "There are no more monsters like me, dear."

"Every monster would say that."

"You know I am speaking my mind."

"Every monster would say that, too."

Chrysalis' eyes gleamed warmly. "Aren't you precious..."

Her foreleg slid along the curve of Celestia's chin, coaxing a choked whine from her dry throat. It was an incredibly delicate, gentle touch. Celestia blindly followed it with her snout like a filly starved for affection. Chrysalis obliged her and made another slow pass, and it was just as electric as the first one.

Celestia's body responded. Her fur rose. She attempted to remain oblivious to the reasons behind it. It could break the illusion.

As Celesta's eyes adapted to the darkness, she could discern more details of Chrysalis' angular silhouette. The changeling had little in common with that blatant wreck of a creature that opposed her throughout the centuries.

'Even if all we did was to follow our natures, something within me affected her so drastically. She's no less dangerous for it, even more so, but still...'

Celestia saw clever eyes, full of mischief. These dazzling jewels, usually so dull and spiteful, now burned with primal purpose.

Celestia touched Chrysalis' neck and was pleased by how she trembled, melting from it. She traced hooves down, appreciating the texture of a tough, warm skin. Gone were the strange blotches right under her chin that added to her sickly appearance. Now, with slightly fuller cheeks and freely flowing silken hair, Chrysalis possessed an unconventional beauty—not beholden to the ponies' standards, but of an exotic league of her own. Her ears, commonly stuck in a guarded and aggressive position, were moved forward to show unmitigated attention.

"The living Sun... Here, at my grasp…" Chrysalis murmured with an odd contemplative expression.

'Is this really her?... Is this really me?... I feel as if I created her in some way. Is it remnants of my love inside of her reaching out to me?... That's right. This is what to be connected with someone means—to be able to shape them. To be able to allow them to shape yourself.'

"You were right. We are shapeshifters," said Celestia.

Chrysalis gulped down what appeared to be a bit of a drool, collected at the back of her throat.

'There is something unique to this wild creature and her strive to simply exist to the utter detriment of everyone in her way—to be like streaming water, or a burning fire, or a sudden gale. Is she a part of nature, an emblem of all its intensity and diversity?'
...
'I am so naked under her touch. Are there no barriers between us now?... And the way she looks back at me... Why do I want her to look at me like that? Only at me?'
...
'...I am keeping admiring her.'
…
'This is so bad. As a monarch I should... as a monarch I shouldn't... as a pony I...
'By the stars.' She lowered the back of her head on the rocks and closed her eyes, attempting to drown out everything in a soothing darkness. 'This is utterly hopeless.'

"Do not fall asleep," reminded Chrysalis with uncharacteristic nervousness.

"I won't."

Utterly hopeless.

"All of this is nonsense. What we experience are merely pushes and pulls, an entrapping of destiny, of our doom." Feeling delirious, Celestia opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling. "The constant war. The stronger the Light is—"

"—the stronger is the Darkness's response," Chrysalis pitched in. "One rises to meet and clash with another, and while one reigns supreme, other licks its wounds and bides its time to strike again. This relationship is complex and eternal, and none of them truly prevails.
"I've heard this one. I am versed in the ways of the Darkness, after all... You struggle to preserve the balance that is unfair, as there will always be someone to challenge you."

"This is how life works," acknowledged Celestia. "This world must be kept in balance, and it is a never-ending duty. For that, long-term planning is paramount, as is the ability to observe the bigger picture. We move the Sun and the Moon. We shape the weather. We work to alter the seasons. I was required to educate a suitable successor rather than raise her from my own flesh and blood. As it happens, this magical world is based on such contrivances, such—"

"—compromises?" finished Chrysalis once more, and chirped a happy giggle. "How can you live like this and tell me straight-faced that compromises are fine?"

"It's far from the worst kind of compromise possible," replied Celestia. "If the good of Equestria is to be salvaged, acting out and breaking everything like a caged beast isn't a solution either."
She sighed in dismay.
"It doesn't really matter, anyway. I am worn out. I feel like a lightbulb that requires changing."

"You're more like a cog," muttered Chrysalis under her breath. "So what have you planned to do after your successor takes the throne? Will you come after another thousand years and reign again?"

"It doesn't work like that," said Celestia with a very soft voice.

"But you are the Queen of Equestria. You can't possibly give up on it... can you?"

"It is not about giving up, but letting go."

"Oh, please, it's the same thing!"

"No, it's really not." Celestia was silent for a beat. "There is a state of being that awaits my spirit after I am done with my duty. It is called Mu. -"

There was a remembrance, albeit faint, of a great golden field...

"- The alternative to all dichotomies. -"

To become a pure energy, how she was meant to be...

"- The enlightenment and the emptiness. The freedom of it."

To remain among the stars, and nothing but stars...

A bitterness overwhelmed her, and with it, a disgust for her hemimortal body. "Why am I forced to stay here, to have this flesh and sweat around me, this breathing, and this mucus, and blood and guts, and these feelings and uncertainties, and pain? Why should I endure all this existing? Didn't I already play my part? Didn't I already do almost all that was needed? Why can't I be free? Is it because almost is never good enough!?" Celestia shook her head. She felt incoming tears of utter helplessness. "All I wanted was for others to be happy. To be with my Sister. Even this single want is too much, is it!?"

"You want peace, ri-i-ight. This Mu does sound a lot like euthanasia to me," snickered Chrysalis, her voice a ghastly crowing that offered no succor.

"It is not! Don't speak like that..." pleaded Celestia. "To be one with eternity is not so bad. This is the preordained way, the right way of antiquity. Nothing should remain. Everything should have a destination."

"Is it not some kind of existence without feelings or emotions? It seems similar to being in stone, come to think of it. Who'd even want that?" Chrysalis frowned. "Wouldn't you grow bored of it, or what, there is no boredom too?"

"It is a reward. A bliss. A state of being and mind that is completely unreachable by all the complications of this reality. For an immortal, there is no greater blessing one can achieve," said Celestia in an attempt to assuage herself. "You are too tethered to comprehend it, but it's quite alright. I do not judge you."

"I've heard similar speeches from eunuch monks before," said Chrysalis, unmoved.

Celestia snorted and shook her head. "Your other sworn enemies, I imagine?"

"You have no idea." Chrysalis grinned. "They even tried to exorcise me once, fools... I wonder, what of your sister? Is she aware of this Mu?"

A storm of wanton emotions had risen inside Celestia, and then she placated it with a practiced application of her will.
"I would've convinced her to follow me," she said. "She'd listen to me. There, at Silver Shoals, we would've ascended together. Now this will never happen..."
A shudder-inducing sensation of finality bordering on despair had broken through the inner barrier of her soul. She sniffed, feeling herself an emotional, tired pony.
"There will be only this now," she held an accusing stare, "and you, dragging me to an endless perdition, to this hopeless darkness. Would it please you to know that you've destroyed me, perverted me? To show me that my dreams are futile, that I am in disarray?"
Tears slid down her muzzle.
"You damned creature, why you can't just leave?"
Her voice was frail.
"Just leave.
Please."

Chrysalis scoffed. She sat down in Celestia's legs. "Aren't you a sly one, my dear alicorn?..." A crooked smirk of recognition spread on her muzzle. "So you were going to bail without owing this dream of Harmony that you've promised, hm-m?..."

'As if you, trickster, can judge me on that.'

"I've played my part," said Celestia out loud, dull and lifeless. "I must know when to take a bow and not to overstay my welcome. It is their world. Not mine.
"The ancient ones like me are holding back the progress. Eventually, we all must go away and provide the next generation with a room to breathe. It is a natural order of things, a simple truth that I am not blind to. A cyclic law of life.
"In this world, 'immortal' never supposed to mean 'eternal'. Thinking otherwise is to argue against fundamental truths that exist for a reason."

"So you'd simply drag your sister along on your sabbatical?" sneered Chrysalis, as if it all were a joke to her.

"Why do you keep asking about her?" Celestia tensed up. "Leave her out of it."

"I do not see her being a willing participant in this... ritual. Would you... force her if needed, perhaps?..."

"Ah... My rebellious Moonlight..." Celestia bit the inside of her cheek hard, almost drawing blood. "There is an abiding darkness inside her. She's yet to grow, and that darkness will grow as well. The tainted history we share will catch up to us both and force everyone to suffer. There is no escape from who you are... No escape."
She was silent for a beat.
"The Elements allowed us to mitigate this darkness, but their solutions were always meant to be temporary. Despite it, now that I have her back after all these years, I will not simply hoof her over to the Dark again. Never. I will never repeat this mistake. I've made a resolution: we will be free together, or none will be free at all.
"I was going to talk to her and explain our predicament. She would've understood how our departure is better for everyone." Celestia winced. Now, said out loud, it sounded too pathetic. "Twilight would've understood it too. She'd fought me and doubted my decision, but eventually she'd accept it. They... trust me.
"Chrysalis... Listen to me." Despite the futility of this action, Celestia despairingly grabbed Chrysalis' fetlock. "Listen. The Harmony is possible in Equestria. All that I've ever done was for the sake of it, and if it works, it can be assumed that the Harmony can be possible in the entire world. That it is possible everywhere in the omniverse.
"That it is, indeed... possible," she attempted to assure herself. "Our sequestered cluster may slowly impart it unto others, and through generations, through strive and errs, it can be cultivated like a stubborn sprout. Equestria is a working model where mutual cooperation can be ensured and the Harmony can exist. It can! This world is all about this... this world..."
She began crying again.
"I want it to be true! Stars be damned, I want Twilight to achieve this, I know she can, I know!... She has a mind wired for learning and growth!..."

"Won't Twilight become just like you?" asked Chrysalis, quiet and still.

"No!" zealously rebuked Celestia. "She will become better than me! She will find her own path, she must! Twilight's Equestria will be a place of hope, of new beginnings!"

"Weren't you telling me that you are a servant of forces that want for the events to keep repeating?"

"You haven't seen what I saw!" Celestia snapped. "Twilight can achieve wonderful, impossible things! She can save this world, lift it to the heights I am incapable of!"

"But why are you so sure?" asked Chrysalis. "Because that is her destiny—to be a more capable replacement?"

"No." Celestia's voice fell. "Her destiny wasn't in something so specific as becoming a ruler. As one of the leaders of a nation with so much accumulated wealth and love, she was meant to be enabled to pursue her own designs.
"Her legend will be my most impressive legacy that would outshine all that I ever done. Her destiny is to solve an ancient discrepancy that plagued our understanding of magic."

"Such is?"

"Twilight is the one who will solve the great equation..." Celestia steadied her breath. "She is the Element of Magic that will bring everything into its intended shape. She was meant to find a way for irreconcilable forces, such as magic and logic, to coexist." Her voice tinged with reverence. "Two completely different worlds, so controversial to each other, would be brought together... An elusive knowledge would be finally revealed to everyone... It would be an event that will mark the beginning of a virtuous age of progress and learning, and the old symbols like me will be finally laid to rest because they are no longer needed. It will be an opportunity for everyone to live happy and free."
A blissful smile tentatively formed on her tear-soaked muzzle.
"I can almost see them sometimes... How all the different species live in harmonious unity, unshackled from the old traditions and hatred... How the ones that had found their own path are sharing the fruits of their discoveries among everyone, freely... How everyone is working for the betterment of a whole... Can you imagine this era of wonder?... Oh, how I wish to witness it with my own eyes! This bright future for us all...
"Don't you understand why she is so important? On this fertile ground that is Equestria, Twilight will rise."

"And all of it because of... what? Magic and logic coexisting?" Chrysalis cocked her head. "As in, harmoniously?" She grinned. "That's what your cause is all about?"

"I don't expect you to grasp the meaning behind it," Celestia replied sullenly.
"We can categorize magic, attribute it, even comprehend mechanics, but the nature of it always works in opposition to the academic discoveries in the other fields. When you add into equation something that can so casually shape the matter both living and inanimate, it all irreversibly falls apart.
"The magic is unfathomable." Celestia raised her wing and watched how her fire ran from feather to feather, almost liquid-like. "It is an element that so far eludes anyone—except maybe the one who was born to manifest it."

"Magic and logic..." Chrysalis drawled out and hemmed in contemplation.

Celestia was observing, mildly curious what this savage can offer.

"You creatures and your little musings of life, tch... Always so desperate for meaning and purpose..." Chrysalis returned her gaze to the alicorn. "Both magic and logic are types of power, are they not?"

At first, Celestia wanted to object, but she restrained herself. "How, do you think, that works?" she asked.

"Power can be found in anything," explained Chrysalis. "Magic. Ordinary.
"Material. Spiritual.
"Rational. Irrational.
"Illusion. Technology. Resources. Logic. Control. Everywhere, a discrepancy. Everywhere, a conflict. Everywhere, a potential. Everywhere, power."
She raised her head proudly.
"Everything can be used to affect, to shape, to change, to manifest your influence. Everything is an opportunity. Everything can be power."
She grinned.
"Everything is power."

"Everything?" Celestia blinked.

"Oh, absolutely." Chrysalis giggled. "Once you notice it, you simply can't view surroundings the other way—but I suppose that's what differs between those who are slaves to their fates and those who are willing to change them!"

"It's not even remotely that simple," muttered Celestia in dismay. The factoring of something so crude and rudimentary was out of the question, even if it reflected an intricate interplay of all aspects of existence. The logic was inequine, non-applicable.
Yet, she could comprehend Chrysalis' thought process slightly better now. The changeling was taking to her imaginary world of power like a fish to the water, or like a climber that sees everything as a stepstone to push on to the heights unknown. Was she even capable of experiencing setbacks? There was something alluringly primal in viewing the world like that. And chilling.
"You are truly a thing of your own," she said.

"Thank you."

"Still, you must be utterly insane to consider that something like that can be applied in practical studies," muttered Celestia. "It's not like this approach is even fresh; it is lumping everything into one category..."
If everything is power, would it mean that everything is also some form of energy?
"For all intents and purposes, 'power' is merely a label that we use to describe forces that affect one another."

"My dearest Sun, there are so many different powers sprawling out under your glare, but it's like you are determined to not notice them... So many voices, so many demands... I listen to you, and I think that maybe you're simply shortsighted, actually—just like your little ponies."

"By the stars," breathed Celestia, "you are too brash for your own good."

"There is a lot of darkness surrounding your bright realm... Your ideas are too lofty and precious to root properly in it... But what would you care? You have a dream, and that's all that truly matters, is it?" Chrysalis pulled a smug grin. "And that means, sending innocent fillies to do a mare's job is fine."

"These fillies will inherit this world," stated Celestia. "They must be confident of themselves just as I am confident of them. You won't break this confidence."

"Ah, but what about everyone else? What about every living soul out there? Am I to understand that the Harmony won't be achieved until they live without dissent? Or it doesn't include their opinion on the matter too, is it!? Or what, your oh so precious blessed herd will lead them all to ordained enlightenment—your subservient, naive, foolish wards, most of whom never had to think from where their meal comes from, never were forced to suffer and despair!? You want everyone in this beautiful world to become like them!? Like weak mongrels that are ripe to be destroyed and enslaved!? And who will be spawned by this world, who will be birthed by them, what future in this!?"

"They will find a way to teach them kindness and understanding!" Celestia objected feverishly. "It will be difficult, but they will learn about themselves a lot more! The Magic of Friendship—"

"Never! Never, never, never!! Not in another thousand years! Not in a ten thousand! You will never reach the world of perfect equinox! There will always be someone to stand against you, refusing to be a part of this weakness and complacency!"

"What I want is not perfection," replied Celestia more wearily than she intended. "Nobody said that. What I want is simply a step closer to perfection. To happiness."

"What you want is complete nonsense," growled Chrysalis viciously. "The world survives by its own whim! It won't bend to your imposed will, and those ponies of yours are morsels who exist only to be stomped upon!"

The Light... The Darkness... In the back of her mind there was always this nagging doubt... How many souls are out there that are irrevocably warped by the warring primordial forces?
'Time itself is my enemy. The more of it passes, the less chance there is for the Harmony to be established." She shed yet another tear. 'It's all my fault... I am still being punished, aren't I? Luna, why did we have to fight?...'
...
'Stop this right now.' Celestia steeled herself.

That's how monsters, these manipulators, get you. They crawl into your head by saying something meaningful. It might as well be an opinion they truly hold to their hearts, but their true purpose is sinister—to invade your mind, to take root in it, to make you agree seemingly on your own. Their duplicitous nature only serves to drag you down for their personal gain.

"My dear..." Chrysalis leaned very, very close. "Do you really think that your little girl, your precious little girl, as smart and perfect as she is, can 'save' me?... To—what, castigate me?... To make me obedient?..." She backed away. "There are even worse monsters than me out there. Will she come after them one by one? I'd love to see that."

The Darkness always rises in response to the Light, and vice versa. Could it be that managing these two clashing sides is a task too daunting even for her most faithful one?

Twilight was not infallible.

At the end of the day, she was just a mare.

"Do you truly believe that she is capable of 'saving' you?" Chrysalis smiled viciously, knowing that it hurt the alicorn. "That she will provide you... some kind of... vindication, perhaps? Naivety doesn't suit you, demigoddess."
The Queen lifted her tattered wings. Her powerful voice grew into an echoing roar.
"No one will save us! The only ones who can save us are ourselves!!"
She snapped her teeth and bared a bestial snarl.
"No one else! Only our volition carries us through!!
"The Harmony is a butterfly stuck on a needle, a promise that will never come true! There will always be war! There will always be death, and ambition, and monsters, and hunger, and chaos, all this beauty and wonder, and power!
"There will always be a shadow of greed looming over everyone living! Didn't you figure greed into your expectations!?"

"Twilight and her friends will be able to deal with it," muttered Celestia stubbornly, staring at the ceiling.

"With greed? With disparity? With lusting for power!? How!?"

"It is not for me to decide how the next generation will solve their problems. Is it not obvious? I can't impose my judgments. I have to believe in them."

"Believing is fine, but my alicorn, my immortal sovereign, my most precious Princess, don't you understand greed!? Greed is not a problem to be solved. It is essential. It will always be present."

"Well." Celestia shifted her eyes. "I am quite familiar with the concept. Wealth, in particular, is an important attribute for those who yearn to maintain social status and possessions."

Chrysalis laughed at the top of her lungs. "My girl, you sound like a virgin! You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?"

Celestia's ears burned. To be mortal is to desire, and to be immortal is to want, she remembered.
"Greed is a very ugly trait that draws invaders to Equestria," she said cautiously. "I've seen very bright ponies succumb to it. Even my Sister was not an exemption."

"You are adorable," hissed Chrysalis in delight.

"I had little wants and desires throughout my existence... There's nothing wrong with it..." 'Wait, why am I making excuses?' Celestia frowned, and sighed in resignation. "See, this is exactly why this realm needs Twilight. She is not someone so hopelessly antiquated."

"I know greed," said Chrysalis.

"Oh? Let me guess, greed is power," parodied Celestia.

"There's nothing more true to us than hungers and desires... The powers that move the world itself," proclaimed Chrysalis, raising her head.
"Oh, yes-s-s." Her bleak green eye moved down to Celestia. "I get what greed is a-a-all about. I was preying on desires for centuries." She looked aside. "Though I must admit, there's not a lot of greed in this land full of love. No doubt, your influence."

"Not only mine," replied Celestia, still keeping a distant gaze at the ceiling, and then asked, "So that is what you are, a creature of greed?"

"Insects do not truly know greed the way others do... That's one of the many reasons they are so fascinating..." almost purred Chrysalis. "Hm-m... If I am to say now, I suppose I am more a creature of gluttony. Yes-s... Life is no fun when I am not enjoying myself, but it is prey who should be greedy, not I... Their love nourishes me, and they must keep surrendering it to me with all their possessiveness if I am to survive..."
The Queen stepped closer, and Celestia tensed up. A jagged foreleg traveled up her stomach to her scarred chest.
"How can you be so blind to the love glowing within you?" asked Chrysalis. "It's as beautiful as the northern lights and as brilliant as a thousand diamonds... You say you are empty, but you are not, my dear. No. Not at all."

"Yet you would diminish me, aren't you? Wouldn't you?" mustered Celestia. "Is your goal to make me a monster like you?"

"What an awful idea." Chrysalis grimaced. "Now, why would I do that?"

"I do not know," admitted Celestia. "What is your intention with me? To prove some inane point? To tell me that having conscience is wrong? But what good a powerful ruler would be without it?" She grabbed the changelings' hoof and pressed it against her scar. "Can I not have a heart?"

"You think I aim to torment you?" Chrysalis scoffed and retracted her hoof. "You've been doing that by yourself! Aren't you tired of neglecting your needs and maintaining balance while using your glorious rump to heat your seat for another?"

"Don't ridicule me," warned Celestia.

Chrysalis giggled. "When you speak, there is a leitmotif to all your speeches. The renunciation. All your verbiage chants to me a single truth: 'I'm going to get out of this race of life; I intend to surrender'." She gripped Celestia's shoulder. "So what I want right now is to see some effort from you."

"You can't mean that..."

"I want you to try despite the pain it will bring," said Chrysalis, and pulled the alicorn onto her legs.

Celestia groaned. Her abused body protested, but she stood up nonetheless.

"You are not like all the others. You are not a coward like the rest of that lot. You are a luminary. You have grit. You can inspire," said Chrysalis with dark passion. "Let us make a mockery out of the rules, let us abolish old customs and traditions! Dare to endeavor with me beyond everything that is decent! Let us rule together and see what happens next!"

"What good can come from it?" rebuked Celestia. "No, you seek to corrupt, to dominate. You won't."
She glared at the changeling from above.
"Even if the Harmony is unattainable, even if my mission is doomed to failure, it is a mission worth fighting for!" With fervor to match, she placed her hoof against her heart again. "I know why I do this: for the true Harmony for all, not just to keep peace and balance! It is my dream! My choice! I won't discard it even if it costs me another thousand years!"

"Yes. Yes!" Chrysalis' huge eyes ignited. "Precisely! This is what I so adore about you! This, is real. You are the real deal; like no one else, you are worthy to be believed in!
"I couldn't care less about the Harmony, but there's nothing more beautiful to me than to struggle while knowing that your goal is unachievable. Ah-h, this is so right!" Chrysalis laughed happily. "This is what life is all about: in falling, in climbing back up, and keeping pushing on despite the senselessness of the act! This is what I want to see! This, I think, is a pure strength...
"You, most powerful, most beautiful creature, do not announce yourself obsolete—embrace the struggle! Rise up again and own your beliefs! You still have fight in you, you can become better—so be better! Be brave and face the unknown, and I will follow your every step! I will devote to you every last ounce of my shriveled, black heart!"

Celestia shook her head. Her eyes were glistening. "...It sounds too melodramatic. I do not need followers, nor devotees."

"Then let me be your monster."

"My monster..."

"My most precious one... Let me be yours." Chrysalis leaned into her, nuzzling along Celestia's neck with a complete lack of restraint.

The changelings' motions were rough, but they carried sincerity that words were unable to convey. Celestia moved her head back, fully captivated.

"Our wonderful world was meant to have monsters," crooned Chrysalis, unabashedly snuggling to her. "We have the right to exist. You cannot deny us, you cannot run from us, and if you try, the Dark will come crashing down on you and will take away the control of your life.
"The Dark is needed, and it is fine. Harmony or no Harmony, you will never get rid of us. We will always remain, tempting, probing, challenging, and there always must be necessary evil so others could live in peace... And your grueling duty will only demand more and more of this evil from you... So, instead of breaking yourself down for their sake, let me be the one who does the dark deeds for you."

"You want me to ignore your atrocities?... So you can be a rabid dog in my service?..."

"I want you to not strain your precious heart with something you so obviously despise doing. Someone like you should not be feared. It is clear to me now." Chrysalis looked at her with sheer adoration. "My Sun, let me become your power that others would be terrified of. However it turns out, let me be the one reviled and hated. Their fear will never be a burden for me. I revel in it."

"So you propose to be my little malicious boogeyman?" Celestia covered her smile with the healthy wing.

"I can be another 'custodian', perhaps?... We can figure out the details later."

"This is unorthodox... And what would you expect me to do when you cross the line? Hm-m? It is inevitable. You will only grow more bold with me."

"I won't hurt ponies," reminded Chrysalis, "but if a mishap happens, then, we-e-ell... I suppose you can always banish me to the Moon, demigoddess." She snickered. "Just not for a thousand years, yes? I'll endure a few months, tops.
"Ah, but imagine me watching everyone from up there!... Peeking in-between curtains at night... Perhaps, Luna had it comfy."

"I can't solve all my problems by sending them to the Moon," replied Celestia archly. "What, do you suppose, will happen when I show weakness? I can't be strong all the time. What then? Will you attempt to devour me again?"

"I think I'd prefer you to be alive... Besides," Chrysalis' voice became more contemplative, "you are too accustomed to downplaying yourself. You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"I know precisely how strong I am," replied Celestia.

"It's not true. Everyone is blind to their true potential. Even if you are an exception, you might become even stronger," said Chrysalis, her eyes blown wide in exaltation.

'What an utter insanity. My heart races with such force that it hurts. This feeling is so vivid, so abysmal, I hate it, I am afraid of it... I want more of it.'

"Don't you want to see ponies tremble and shiver in delightful uncertainty? -" asked Chrysalis.

'...I want to live, to feel, to be wanted. Does it mean giving up eternity? It's like losing a piece of myself... I doubt I can ever be allowed to go back on this decision... Not after everything I've done... or what I am going to do.'

"- No more of constant repetition of days, of same motions and same emptiness. Don't you want the world that isn't stale? Don't you want to see what happens next? -"

'For good or ill, I am needed still.'

"- Your life never was truly fulfilling, I know... Watching all those happy faces around is like getting scraps from the tables of others... Not very fitting for a royalty."

"This might be an entirely new experience..."

"Leap with me into this dark. Hold me tight, and I will lead you through it to the other side."

"Equestria was my whole life for far too long..."

"In some ways I am fascinated with Equestria."

"It is a big, diverse realm, is it not?..."

"A huge realm, full of love... Dear, it's like it was meant for me."

"My subjects won't like this..."

"Oh, yes-s... They won't."

"My enemy." Celestia held Chrysalis by her temples. "My monster. You just have to ruin everything, don't you?... There will be no turning back."

"No turning back..." echoed Chrysalis, gently stroking Celestia's cheek. "Are you afraid?"

"Of course I am. Right now I'm certain only of this: you are a foolish changeling who is well over her head.
"It may take a lot of strength to face the world without deception, but it takes far, far more strength to face and own your flaws, and you want me to own them, don't you?... Will you keep believing in me no matter what?"

The veil of prideful arrogance that surrounded Chrysalis was lifted, if only briefly. She became serious, shifted uncomfortably in one place, processing something, and then settled on an almost childish accusing glare.

Celestia smiled. The question was deliberately provocative, and the non-answer was the best reply she could get, as honestly, Chrysalis wouldn't know. She only ever believed in power and in herself.

She descended to the changeling and left a tender kiss on her forehead.

Chrysalis' wings buzzed, but she remained silent. Celestia was appreciative of that—any further words could've ruined the moment.

But the alicorn had more to say. "Now tell me, my dearest wife... As one shapeshifter to another..." Her grip became stronger. "When is the part where you twist my neck? You threatened me, after all."

The air grew cold around them. Celestia leaned, almost crushing the insectoid under her weight. Chrysalis grunted, straining to remain standing.

"Or you'd rather enchant me into submission to use for the rest of my days as some depraved battery?" Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Or, perhaps, steal me away, wound me and torture to keep the Sun afloat, like you did with my little sister? I did not forgave you for that, nor for all other harm you've done."
The Princess delicately adjusted a stray lock of hair on Chrysalis' muzzle.
"I am intrigued, but understand—whatever is between us is not normal. It is bound to end in tragedy."

"But we are not 'normal'," demurred Chrysalis. "The world is not 'normal', yes?... Nothing exceptional is normal, and never will be." She laughed hoarsely. "Don't act like a jaded coward, Celly."

Celestia hummed in amusement. "You will seed enmity and distrust. How can I ever be an accomplice in that?"

Chrysalis whipped her forelegs around the alicorns' shoulders. Celestia was prepared for yet another tirade, but instead Chrysalis took a lungful—and sung,

"There is a scent of blood in the air.
It lingers for one thousand years.
Life gives no quarter
In this forlorn and troubled world.

But the wind in your hair
Is the same as in the ages foregone.
The time stands still for you,
Both Sun and Moon here side by side.

To vanish in the clear blue skies,
Breaking free like a wild songbird!
To escape these cruel lands,
This is what you want!

But I'll chase you down, my Sun.
Fraying my legs if I must.
Soar high! Embrace the reckless heights!
You alone are capable of that!

As only those have the guts,
Who knew the dread with their heart!
Who had faced the abyss,
But their gaze still full of pride!

So hear me, mighty deity of old,
Set ablaze by fanned flames of your soul,
Who, unafraid to challenge fate,
Leapt with me into the rumbling sky!

"Celestia!" Chrysalis called, her eyes brightly lit, her mouth twisted into a passionate snarl. "Leap with me into the darkness!"

'So this is how it shall be, then?'

"Show me your heart. Justify the risks that I am taking," answered Celestia. She grabbed Chrysalis' chin. "Give me something. I challenge you."

For a quick second Chrysalis appeared genuinely vulnerable, but then she composed herself. A familiar, toothy grin split her muzzle. "...Our subjects must be mad with anticipation," she said, slipping away.
She turned and shone a bewitching eye over her shoulder. "Let's bring them happy news."

...

The changelings had launched their attack, stalling the mobilized E.U.P. forces.

The fight moved from Canterlow to Canterlot, and then partially to the skies above. The last of the remaining changeling strike force were the most seasoned cutthroats the Hive could offer, but the guards were prepared in advance.

Still, it was an exhausting effort. Neither of the sides was giving in—not until someone raised an impossibly white wing, rolling back the curtain of the rain. A bright-orange cut sliced through it and blinded everyone, but many quickly became alert to the two figures standing on the narrow mountain's summit.

"My subjects!" Celestia's voice, so familiar to many, thundered through the area.

It came to Canterlot, flowing into each and every home. It reached even down to the base of the mountain.

There was a soft, pleasant, confident smile in this voice.

"My little ponies!... Come out, come! Do not cower."

The fighting had ceased completely at this point. Most of the ponies listened to her, lingering in the air or scurrying out on the streets. The changelings did not retreat, puzzled by the sight of their Queen beside the Princess.

"There's something so tranquil about dusk, isn't it? The sky is so gorgeous... These bright tones, fading into the dark..." Celestia let out a small, lighthearted chuckle that echoed far through the air. "I've always entertained the thought that if something irreversible happens and both the Sun and the Moon will vanish, my ponies will be here instead to light the night or provide the daytime glow, to spread the warmth to even the darkest corners of our world. The world will find its way, because ponies find a way."

She turned to the city.

"You all are so special, each and every one of you. But the world beyond Equestria is so vast. It is so immense and seemingly limitless. It is clear to me that the ponies, as we are right now, won't be enough."

She sighed.

"Long ago, I had envisioned Equestria as a place where the power is not misused and abused, and everyone can choose to live in safety. The recent violence means that this vision is tested—but it's yet to fail. It also means that my ability to protect you is tested as well.
"I'm sad to say that my message for you can't be a comforting one. Be aware that there may be other tests like that in the future. Things can't stay the same course as they had before, and I cannot sugarcoat the truth: difficult times are ahead, and we must face them together."

Celestia turned to Chrysalis and swept her eyes over her form.

"Look at the changelings, my little ponies. Look at them closely, if you're able. Their condition is one of negligence. They allowed circumstances to dictate their lives, and it made them lost, dangerous to others, but most of all—to themselves."

Celestia's smile became a bit crooked.

"I can't bear to witness the same fate for you, but I'll advise that rather than rebuke their pain, we need to accept it and learn how to not repeat their mistakes."

She turned to the city again.

"The Dark Queen and her people will remain."

She was silent for a beat, allowing the gravitas of the statement to settle in.

"Not as conquerors, or enemies, but as ones of those with whom we eventually must reach a compromise if we are all to coexist in this vast world.
"It might not seem to be possible to you right now. I understand. Yes, the lives of many had been uprooted, perhaps forever. Yes, we have to rebuild all that was destroyed and mourn all those who were lost. But there are more trying times ahead, and we might need to rebuild many times over—and that is why, right now, we will build something new.
"There will be new policies. New order. New norms. I cannot offer you a promise of peace during the impeding months; I can only promise that your effort will not go unrequited. Right now, on the precipice of change, each one of you has an opportunity to take the fate into your own hooves! Be prepared to use this opportunity!
"Be aware that the road of change is shrouded in darkness, and it may not always lead us where we'd wish to go! It all may be frightening for you, but I will be your guiding light as always! Whatever comes, the Sun will last for you, and I will last with it! If you stumble, look for it! And I will look for you."

Silence hung in the air, and it allowed Celestia to think, and to worry.

'No, they will not understand. Too haphazard, too unfamiliar, it goes against everything they know... It is a gamble again.' She slightly shifted her forelegs. 'How can I prepare them? How could I prepare? It wasn't an appropriate speech by any merit of the word. I was... too hopeful. Too optimistic and vague.'

She shivered when Chrysalis suddenly pushed her snout to her ear. Sultry breath tingled her skin. The long tongue spelled each letter. Celestia felt it all.

"All... -"

Chrysalis pulled back, as if drawing syllables from thin air.

"- ...hail... -"

She turned to the city.

"- ...Celestia!"

"All hail Celestia!!"

She turned to the alicorn and bent her knees, bowing. Her green eyes shone with happy and victorious lust.

"All hail Celestia!!"

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!"

The changelings were coming on the mountain slope, landing to mimic Chrysalis' pose, adding their voices to hers'.

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!"

Reluctantly, pegasi followed suit. Flash Magnus was one of the first. The muzzle of the knight was white as a sheet.

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!"

Many ponies down in Canterlot had joined the chant. Despite all the damage, the city was still shining in the rays of fading light.

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!"

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!!"

"ALL HAIL CELESTIA!!!"

It felt good.

⠀

⠀

⠀

I cannot undo my choices,
I cannot undo my mistakes,
All I have learned is to suffer in silence,
And accept the consequences of my actions.
I cannot undo what I have done.
But, I can learn from it,
And I can change for the better,
And I can live with the pain.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ
ᴏꜰ ɪ