There's Something Happening

Chapters

Chapter 1: What Happened?
Chapter 2: Somewhere to Go
Chapter 3: There's Always Something
Chapter 4: Sometimes Ponies Lie
Chapter 5: There's No Way

Chapter 1: What Happened?

“I can’t wait for this party! Pinkie usually goes all-out, but this one is supposed to be really special!” Twilight beamed at her small, purple-scaled companion. Spike smiled right back and asked if he was invited.

“Of course, Spike!” Twilight crooned, “Everyone in all of Equestria is invited! The party is going to be so big, Pinkie must’ve wanted everyone to make tons of new friends!”

It was true. This party was meant to be the most extravagant and populated party Pinkie Pie had ever thrown. There were going to be so many ponies that instead of throwing the party at her own place, Pinkie was going to have it at Blanc’s Showroom – and it was set to be absolutely packed. Anypony Twilight asked about the party was already going.

So, Twilight Sparkle and Spike prepared. They made triangle hay sandwiches with toothpicks and miniature banana-nut muffins to bring in a woven picnic basket, and they both accessorized with gifts from Rarity. For Twi, this was an intricate silver hair brooch that had a moonstone center-piece carved into the shape of a crescent moon surrounded with dots of small twinkling rhinestones. For Spike, it was a silk tie with intricate swirling patterns in various shades of green to compliment his, well, spikes! They felt great and headed out to be on their way.

As they trotted gleefully down the trail to their destination, they crossed paths with Rarity. When she saw them adorned in her gifts, she lit up and stood taller.

“Twilight, Spike! You look completely magnificent!” She gasped although next to Rarity, their outfits hardly seemed like anything at all. She had her hair piled up in tight, lavender curls with a gleaming tiara to keep them in place, a glitter-filled and frilly pale blue mini-dress, and glass heels with etches of lilacs down the side. “I decided to wear my new design for the party tonight and see what ponies think. What about you two?”

“You are the most beautiful pony I’ve ever seen in my life!” Spike offered without hesitation.

“It’s just perfect, Rarity,” Twilight smiled softly, and she meant it.

Rarity grinned her pearly teeth into view and they set out again. Along the way, Fluttershy and Applejack joined in their journey because they were walking there together from Applejack’s orchard where Fluttershy was teaching the birds to help spread the seeds over the land. Of course, they were all going the same way! Eventually, they all got so excited and rowdy that they started galloping, a race all the way to the party. Rainbow Dash saw them racing from far away in the sky where she was calmly floating to the party, and obviously decided to join. This got them to the showroom in no time! Rainbow Dash won, and everypony expected that, but this time Fluttershy got second place and they all celebrated her victory – including Dashie. It was just such a sweet time for all of them.

There it was… Blanc’s Showroom, liberally covered with streamers and hundreds (if not thousands) of balloons in all shades of the rainbow. Upbeat pop music blared from inside, and ponies already stood around the entrance excitedly greeting one another.

“I wonder where Pinkie Pie is!” Applejack exclaimed, but she knew that Pinkie had to be inside somewhere. It was her party after all.

“Why wait? Let’s go inside, everypony!” Twilight trilled happily as she hopped in and the other ponies followed suit.

The music was so loud, but so good, and everypony was dancing. There were bright colorful lights spinning over the crowd and a feast of snacks and desserts on every table. Applejack brought a sparkling apple cider punch and Fluttershy brought along some delicious red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and red sprinkles. Everyone was delighted and jovially talking about the party and their lives at home, how long it’s been and how much fun they were having.

Twilight noticed that A.J. and Dashie were already in the middle of the crowd on the dance floor and swishing their tails to the beat. Fluttershy shyly made conversation with a group of other quiet ponies who came from Manehattan to see the function. Twilight noticed Spike in a distant corner shoveling jewels into his mouth – Twilight thought it was cute because she figured that Pinkie left them there specifically for him. There weren’t any other dragons at the party, after all!

It wasn’t long after they arrived that the party really started to go. Twilight found herself having more fun than she’d had in such a long time, and that was saying something because she appreciated the fun she had every day. She hopped and spun all around to the jumping beat and ate so much delicious food she had never even tried before! She met ponies that came from every part of Equestria. This was very important to her, because her whole mission was friendship and she felt like she was really contributing to her cause here.

Then, that’s when she spotted him – it was Shining Armor! And he was here with Princess Cadance! Oh, this really couldn’t get better.

“B.B.B.F.F.!!! I didn’t know you were here!” Twilight trotted up to them both.

“We just got here!” Shining armor reassured Twilight.

“You weren’t busy over in Canterlot?”

“Things have been much quieter lately, and we wouldn’t miss this bash for anything. We knew how much work Pinkie was going to be putting into this, and we can see it with our very own eyes here in front of us now. This is a truly special occasion.”

Princess Cadance smiled warmly, first directing it at Twilight and then turning to shine at her husband. “We have been wanting to get out and come see you, anyway, Twi! We’ve missed you terribly. We knew you would be here and saw it as the perfect opportunity to catch up, relax, and have some real fun.”

This meant so much to Twilight that it took her a moment to think of a good response. She just stared over them with such appreciation and then finally, she thought of the perfect thing to say.

Just then, as she opened her mouth to express her admiration and gratitude for her big brother and step-sister, over all the noise and music… it was the loudest sound Twilight had ever heard in her life. Then another. Everything moved in slow-motion and complete silence until she was hit by the stampede, and suddenly everything was going too fast to think, it was too loud, she was being trampled. It felt like the sky was coming down, but it wasn’t because it was all around her. It was hundreds of hooves in a cacophony of sheer panic. Then she heard the sound again. Loud synth still thumped and echoed throughout the place and the lights continued to swirl, and this suffocated Twilight’s senses as she was overcome by the crowd. She felt heavy hooves breaking into her purple hide.

She called out desperately for her brother, “Shining Armor!” but there was no response except for a chorus terrified whinnies and the sharp clops of hundreds of hooves running for their lives. What was that sound? Where were her friends?

Without warning, she was upheaved by the scarf of her neck and she started to feel herself being dragged roughly through the panicked crowd. She herself neighed and whinnied, horrified at the abrupt change and completely shocked. She couldn’t make sense of anything. She kicked her hooves and resisted the stranger that dragged her through the showroom to no avail. The world felt so far away and everything was so normal, so perfect only a minute ago.

There was a break, and then immediate relief. She made it outside by the force of whoever had her by the scruff. The sky was open and the air was clean, the stampede broke out into different directions, and she was dropped gently onto the lush grass that surrounded the showroom. She felt an immediate sensation of relief and slouched into the cool foliage. Before she even got a chance to identify her captor, she was distracted by the volume around her and caught sight of the horses rushing out, screaming and crying. These ponies weren’t just scared of a noise… What just happened?

“Twilight, are you okay!?” Fluttershy. Was it Fluttershy that dragged her out of there? Why, she had probably just saved Twilight’s life! “You look hurt, Twilight. Please don’t squirm anymore. Can you move your left hind leg?”

Twilight scrambled to her hooves and embraced Fluttershy in tears. “Oh my gosh, Fluttershy, what happened? Is everything okay? What’s going on? I’m fine and it’s because of you! Are you hurt?”

Fluttershy gently nudged her nose into Twilight’s shoulder partially for Twilight’s comfort and partially for her own. “I don’t… know the answer to any of those questions…” Fluttershy herself began to cry silently and Twilight could only tell for the tears dripping wetly onto her fur. They were sensitive ponies and they were in shock, neither of them even knew where any of their other best friends were.

The showroom was completely evacuated in no time, and Fluttershy rose herself over the crowd outside of it with her wings to see if she could spot any of their friends. Surely enough, there were Rainbow Dash and Applejack in a tight embrace. They were in the leaves of a tree that Dashie had apparently taken them both to for their safety. Fluttershy flew both herself and Twilight up there to see them and make sure they were okay.

“Twilight! What happened!” Rainbow Dash said with agony in her voice. “I saw… I don’t know what I saw. Please tell me you know what just happened in there,” Dashie pleaded with Twi.

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t. I don’t have any idea. We have to find Rarity and Spike.” She said with a calm and terrified authority that the ponies had only rarely heard before.

“And Pinkie Pie…” Applejack almost inaudibly whispered. It was the first time she had spoken. She was right, Twilight realized she hadn’t seen Pinkie all night.

“Did any of you see her?” Twilight asked the group, but they all shook their heads no. This was alarming for Twilight because it was Pinkie’s party and they were her best friends. “Well, I’m going back then.”

“No!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack protested in unison.

“And just why not?” Twilight felt like whatever the threat was, they had definitely handled worse. If the other ponies didn’t want to back her up, she figured she’d even dealt with worse on her very own. But Dashie and Applejack both looked genuinely stupefied. They were pleading with their eyes. “Seriously guys, why not? She’s one of our best friends. We’ve overcome everything we’ve ever approached together as a team! We need to save our friend.”

Rainbow Dash looked almost guilty. “Twilight, I really don’t think it’s safe to go back in there. We have no idea what that sound was, and if so many of our friends are gone, who's to say that attack wasn’t targeted? We might be in real trouble. We should get more info before throwing ourselves muzzle-first into certain death…”

Twilight steadied her eyes onto Dashie’s and considered this. “I don’t think we should just give up before we even try, though.”

Now, Rainbow Dash looked offended and the other ponies just looked scared and awkward. Fluttershy was looking down at her hooves with her eyes wide and Applejack had her eyes sternly set on the distance, seemingly there but truly far away. “It’s not that I don’t want to try, Twilight! I want to know more about the situation before we just sacrifice ourselves! Sure, we’ve gotten through rough times together, but one wrong move and we all would’ve been killed. I’m already terrified that I just lost half my friends and I don’t want to lose more. I don’t want to lose you. We have no clue what just went on in there. You have no clue!” Rainbow Dash was huffing but sounded apologetic in her angry rant.

Twilight’s face fell into an expression the others had hardly ever seen from her, and they couldn’t even really tell what it was. Intimidating if only for her stern sincerity. “Do I have to go in by myself, then?” She was met with silence from the other ponies. They knew she wouldn’t acquiesce. “Fine, I will. Because I’m going either way. I have never run away from my problems and I won’t start when my best friends are in danger.”

“Run away from your problems? Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash pleaded, but this offended Twilight and she already had her tail turned to Rainbow Dash; already on her way back inside.

She walked slowly but decidedly and thought somberly of the events that just unfolded. They hadn’t seen Pinkie Pie all night. She had never heard a noise like that before, and it happened over and over again.Spike was gone, Rarity was gone, and even Pinkie Pie was gone from her own party.

“Wait!” A soft voice begged from behind Twilight.

Twilight softly turned her head to see Fluttershy rushing up behind her. She said nothing else and kept her head down, but she was coming with Twilight to see what was going on. Twilight looked back and saw that Applejack was comforting Rainbow Dash as Rainbow Dash nestled into her shoulder. A pitiful embrace. It was then that Twilight understood what Rainbow Dash was really trying to say, and she realized she should’ve listened to her and validated her fear instead of calling her a coward. She would apologize for that as soon as she could, she thought. She forgave herself on the basis of this being a situation filled with shock and confusion.

They both began to walk slower as they approached the entrance to Blanc’s Showroom. The atmosphere got thicker and cooler as they entered and Twilight heard Fluttershy gulp beside her. Twi shot her a reassuring glance before creeping over the frame of the doors. Fluttershy timidly trailed behind.

Inside, it was a chaotic mess. Decorations and trampled food littered the floor. It was hard to make out anything over all of the bright colors and jumbled debris everywhere. The glint of the jewels caught Twilight’s eye and she rushed over to them in hopes of finding Spike.

He was not there.

“Spike!” Futtershy’s voice was barely audible over the music that continued but it sounded tense and strained. Twi jolted and swung her head to the direction of Fluttershy’s voice. There she was staring in horror, somewhere in the direction of the floor but when Twilight followed her line of vision, she couldn’t make out anything out of the ordinary and she didn’t see Spike.

“Twilight!” Fluttershy whined, she was looking straight at Twi and her muzzle was scrunched sideways, eyes contorted with pain. Twilight just wanted to freeze time and exist in the moment where she didn’t have to know what Fluttershy was so afraid of, but she trudged forward despite being consumed by dread.

It only took a few steps forward to see what Fluttershy saw. A trail of jewels sprawled over the floor and eventually surrounded him. Him. Spike. Twilight’s initial reaction was actually relief. It felt good to see him after picturing him so vividly in her mind and panicking over his whereabouts. There he was, adorable Spike just as she remembered him. Except… not. Spike was unconscious, gleaming purple scales piled limply on the ground. Twilight approached the poor little guy and bowed her head to get a better look at him. Then, she saw his face.

Oh.

Author's Note

This is my first time uploading a story on this site! I hope you like it.

Chapter 2: Somewhere to Go

Twilight's hooves hit the ground in rhythmically sharp galloping, and Fluttershy pushed herself to keep up. “Twilight!” Fluttershy insisted from behind her as she struggled to flap her large wings fast enough. “Twilight, please just stop for one second!”

But Twilight wouldn’t have considered it even if she had registered Fluttershy’s aching call. She had her head tucked against the wind and her eyes set firmly on the showroom exit. All she could think about was getting to Princess Celestia. Twilight needed the princess then more than ever, and she didn't intend to stop until she could talk to her. As she slammed through the tall oak doors, they swung back and hit Fluttershy who trailed bitterly behind as quickly as she could. Fluttershy fell hard onto the ground. It was then that she ceased the chase and stayed momentarily motionless, continuing to cry. She hadn’t been able to stop since this all started.

Fluttershy was too afraid to stay in the showroom, so as soon as the initial pain from the doors wore off she scrambled through them and ran half-way to the tree that Rainbow Dash and Applejack just watched Twilight flee from. They were still staring in Twilight’s direction with frightened silence even though she was no longer visible, obscured by the distance she made between them.

When they heard Fluttershy collapse on the now empty field, they both jolted and started towards her with haste.

“Fluttershy…” Applejack’s sweet southern-fried voice sounded apologetic and sorrowful. Rainbow Dash wanted to ask what happened but didn’t know how. After her last interaction with Twilight, she had been stunned with emotions and too confused to make any decisions. After all that Twilight said, she was questioning her own values. The three ponies sat there quietly, none with any comforting thoughts to offer one another because there were none felt. They were all devastated and what made it worse was that they still had no clue what was happening. Fluttershy didn’t want to tell them what she saw in the showroom, she didn’t want to speak at all. So, she didn’t.

Twilight ran. She ran out of breath and kept running. It confused her when she saw that everything was just as it had been before the party. Everything was somehow exactly the same, but for Twilight everything had changed. Although everypony was locked in their homes and all of the businesses were closed in Ponyville, Twilight still felt like the world around her did not represent itself properly. The same peonies dotted patches of grass around the mailboxes on Marespring Street, the same dry hay covered the roofs of the houses she ran by, the same barrels lined the hills rolling at Applejack’s orchard. In fact, many of the apples in those barrels were just collected that morning. Spike saw those apples himself. Spike could have eaten those apples. Twilight started to feel woozy as her breathing picked up in pace and depth. It felt like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs as she forced her gaskins to keep pushing her forward. Her muscles and joints ached.

How quickly everything was ruined. Just like that, nothing would ever be the same. The way circumstances added up to this final moment for Twilight felt like a sick joke. How could she spend all of her time protecting her friends and meticulously devoting every second to keeping everypony safe, only for this. And, she thought, she didn’t even know what happened. Twilight felt the guilt consume her. She felt useless and so lost. The abruptness of the shift she was experiencing stripped her of her own identity, and she didn't even feel like a pony as she sped through the streets. She felt like an unknowable monster. This pain was completely new to Twilight. Her new perspective was not even comparable to the way she was seeing the world that morning. Her head spun at the idea that she would never feel that way again. She felt so much regret taking it all for granted. Maybe if she just would’ve been more realistic… Maybe if she allowed herself to be just a little bit more suspicious…

Twilight collapsed. She hadn’t realized until her muzzle slid through the dirt, but she was crying. Hard. She was wailing pitifully at the top of her overworked lungs and it was burning.

No, she didn't feel like a monster. She felt like nothing. As if her destined purpose was a farce. She questioned if destiny even existed. She let go of herself and started to scream into the dirt, not caring who saw and figuring nopony would anyway. She couldn’t stop the vivid reel of Spike playing on loop in her head. Spike sleeping in a ball on the floor after a long day of running Twilight’s errands, Spike hanging onto Rarity’s every word with sparkles in his eyes, Spike staying up to read until dawn broke and rubbing his groggy eyes every few minutes in the morning, Spike hunched softly over with his gray face smushed into his own blood-ridden puke and dull crooked eyes.

Spike, dead. Spike was just a baby. Spike was poisoned by the jewels at Pinkie Pie’s party.

Twilight could tell her memories of him were not exactly as he existed in the moment, they weren't accurate. She agonized because she knew they would only get foggier. In her mind now, this fake Spike was almost tangible. In those memories, she could've spoken to him -- reached out and touched his scales at any moment... It made everything worse knowing she would never have the opportunity to replace those memories of him. She spiraled trying to grasp all of the memories and permanently bind them to her mind, but no matter what she did she felt helpless. It was like she was already forgetting… Except for the last memory she made. She feared that memory would be just as excruciating and graphic for the rest of her immortal life.

“Twilight,” A cool voice commanded. Twilight knew it was Princess Celestia before she even shocked the wailing into sudden silence. “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“Princess, I’m sorry. I was on my way to you but I- I-” Twilight wanted to explain herself properly but she couldn’t push herself through the sentence.

“What happened, Twilight Sparkle? You haven’t been answering me and I thought you might’ve been one of the ponies who disappeared from Pinkie Pie’s party.”

“Disappeared…?”

“Yes, Twilight. Pinkie Pie herself was one of them. Were you in attendance? Is that why you’re so distraught?”

Twilight did not respond. Her chin was gently hanging and her eyes wide.

Princess Celestia tried again. “Please tell me what you saw.”

Twilight shook her head. No. The princess sat quietly for a moment, feeling uneasy about the trembling, disheveled pony’s hesitance. Hesitance was not characteristic of Twilight.

“Come with me, sweet filly.”

Princess Celestia used her magic to set Twilight Sparkle snugly between her wings and Twilight clung to her soft, warm hide. She took them both through the clouds and to a clearing on a tall, green hill. In flight, Twilight numbly took the clouds in, noticed the trees and houses shrinking beneath them. It felt like she was in a dream as they pierced smoothly through the air.

When they came to the ground, it was a slow and steady landing. Twilight was very carefully placed down and she didn’t make eye contact with Princess Celestia. She stared at one distant spot and didn’t say a word. The princess sternly looked into her, but with as much love as she could possibly muster – which was a lot, especially for sweet Twilight Sparkle. She didn’t say a word either, this time she waited for Twilight to speak first.

Eventually, she did.

“Princess, I’m so sorry…” More tears started to fall. This idly surprised Twilight because she thought she didn't have any left.

The apology startled the Princess, but she didn’t show that. Sorry? All Celestia did was give Twilight a curious expression in hopes of encouraging her to speak.

Twilight sighed faintly and started again. “Spike is dead.” It was all she could think about, so it’s all she said.

The princess felt dread wash over her, which was rare, but... “Did you…?”

“No! No, I wouldn’t. I saw him… There were these sounds and I just-” Twilight was becoming intense and tearful. “I fled, I barely even talked to anyone. I saw him lying there, I can still see him there. He was so different from usual. He was so happy and he was wearing his little tie because he was so excited!” She kept sputtering and her breaths were so labored that they punctuated her sentences unnaturally. She was becoming shrill and speaking almost too fast for the princess to understand. “The booming made my ears go quiet for so long I didn’t hear the stampede coming! I wanted to run but I couldn’t move and Fluttershy dragged me out of there by my scruff but I didn’t get Spike! I just left him in there! He was just a baby! It’s all my fault! Everything is ruined! Spike is gone! Spike is gone forever! Spike is gone! My friends hate me! I forced Fluttershy to come with me! She had to see him first! Why Fluttershy!? WHY SPIKE??? He’s gone forever… Why, princess? Please… I can’t do this. I can’t.”

Princess Celestia was completely dumbfounded, now understanding why Twilight wasn’t answering her. Understanding everything. She gazed at Twilight with intense worry for her well-being, but Twilight took it as pity and felt so ashamed. She couldn’t stop crying, though, despite this.

“Twilight, you can’t do this to yourself. It is not your fault. To me, your self-blame seems like survivor's guilt more than anything, and I truly believe you are too smart -- too logical to allow yourself to believe it. You had nothing to do with this tragedy. I know it. Your friends know it. Your friends still love you, and I can promise you that. Maybe you should stay with one of them for a while. You need a break, and I’m ordering it... Take care of yourself, mourn properly, and don’t worry about what happened. I am the queen, and I have it under control. This is not your responsibility Twilight. You are a victim, and you have to heal somehow. I have never seen you like this.”

“I have never been–” A shuddering gasp – “Like this."

“Go stay with Applejack at her orchard. It’s calm, you'll be surrounded with love, and you can focus on yourself.”

“I don’t want to stay with Applejack,” Twilight’s voice was suddenly deeper. She meant this, but Celestia couldn’t tell why. She quickly decided it was too much to expect Twilight to behave as normal, and it was best to accommodate her in these circumstances.

“You don’t have to. There’s a cottage only a stroll from here, on the outskirts of Ponyville near the White Tail Forest. It’s been empty for a while but I can get it cleaned up for you, and you can stay there for as long as you need to. I don’t want you to feel pressure. You’re my best student, Twi. You need some time, and I can see that.”

Twilight felt patronized, but the idea of isolating for a while sounded too good to pass up.

“Okay, princess.”

Princess Celestia tried to smile at Twilight, but Twilight wasn’t looking at her.

Princess Celestia and Twilight stood before the doors of the cottage. The princess was silently grateful that she was able to make it this far with Twilight, because she was in a different state of mind and certainly fragile. Twilight stared numbly up at the gorgeous cottage.

The hay on the roof had multiple shades of red, purple, and green mixed in from other dry plants being bundled together. A golden shaded griffon wind vane twirled gracefully around there on the roof, and Spanish moss shrouded the building. The moss brushed deep purple shutters on bay windows with thick, bubbly glass. A round oak door sat snugly in the doorframe and there were two large padlocks above the handle, and this was Twilight’s primary interest. Otherwise, what she saw before her made her feel absolutely nothing. She would’ve felt exactly the same looking at anything. She felt abysmally empty.

No, she was excited to be alone. She didn’t wonder why. It was at this moment that she was actually trying to avoid wondering anything at all.

Chapter 3: There's Always Something

“Day one at the cottage,” Twilight wrote into a journal using her horn. She thought for a moment but just as she was going to write, there was a knock at the door.

This startled and disgruntled Twilight. She was supposed to be at the cottage for peace and quiet, how could people be barging in on the very first day? She got up sullenly and shuffled to the door. She was apprehensive so she pulled the stiff, blue curtain fabric away from the circular door window to see who was on the porch.

Applejack was at the door. Twilight saw Rainbow Dash approaching quickly as well with Fluttershy trailing listlessly behind her. They all perked up when they saw Twilight’s face but that just made her want to hide. She wondered if they would be able to talk about anything other than what happened. She would’ve rather talked about anything else.

She backed away from the door to open it gently. She couldn’t muster a smile but she wanted to greet them kindly. “Hey guys, I’m just staying here to clear my mind.”

Applejack was the first to speak. “Howdy there, Twi… We just wanted to come check on you and you know, provide some company as long as you’d see it fit,” Applejack was looking straight at Twilight but she struggled to maintain eye contact without reciprocation.

“Yeah, guys, come on in,” Twilight opened the door a bit more. Everypony, including herself, felt shocked by her admission. She figured she could use the friendship, and everyone else figured Twilight was only letting them in because she was too defeated to say no.

The crowd walked into the little cottage and awkwardly hung around the front door. Twilight told them they could have a seat wherever was comfortable, so they each chose somewhere comfortable in the living room area to plop themselves down. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were surveying their cozy surroundings, but Fluttershy was so anxious about this visit that she could barely look up from her hooves. Her rosy hair covered her grimace as silence hung all around them.

“So, Twilight, how are you liking it here?” Again, Applejack was the first to speak. This seemed to be a pattern for her, and Twilight figured that she was uncomfortable with silence.

“It’s okay.”

“What about the woods? Have you gone exploring yet?” Rainbow Dash was trying to make lighthearted conversation that was reminiscent of their usual interactions to soften the tension. At this point, she felt guilty for the confrontation after the tragedy and she just wanted to make Twilight comfortable.

“Not really.”

“Man, it sure is pretty here! I bet you sleep real well at night,” Applejack mustered a warm smile and nodded her head.

“I don’t.”

The ponies sat without speaking for several moments. They had never known Twilight to respond in these short, apathetic remarks. It perplexed them and made it hard to choose what to say next. They got the sense that maybe Twilight didn’t even want them there in the first place. She didn’t.

She was internally chastising herself for this because she loved her friends and she knew the dangers of isolation. She wanted so badly for things to return to normal, but she couldn’t stand to allow her brain to turn back on. If she wanted to be able to survive this mess, she would have to keep her mind as static as possible. Any stimulation was enough to send her deeper into her chasm. She felt guilty for how she was talking to her friends, but she was genuinely trying her best to engage without stirring anything up for them or herself.

“Twilight wants to be alone,” This was the first time Fluttershy had spoken the entire time, and she sounded miserable. Her tone was level but it was deep and so quiet, and she was audibly overcome with emotion. Everypony knew it was because of how Twilight practically abandoned her in the showroom, combined with Twilight inadvertently subjecting Fluttershy to witnessing the first corpse she’d ever seen. Fluttershy didn't mean to hold it against her, but she was doing a good job for how she felt.

The room went quiet. Twilight knew they were waiting for her response, but she couldn’t agree out loud. Fluttershy was not wrong.

“Well, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash offered.

There was another brief silence. “Yeah,” Twilight said in a small, muted voice. She was steadily staring at a cushion adjacent to Applejack. The ponies sat waiting for elaboration, but when they realized that was all Twilight had to say they all started to get up from their seats.

“We’ll visit again soon, okay? We will bring you some stuff to make this place even cozier. Some home-cooked meals, and some books to read. Make it less of a sensory deprivation tank in here. Let us know if there’s anything we can do for you in the meantime, okay?” Applejack was saying this on her way out. She felt horrible for Twilight.

“Thank you,” Twilight hadn’t left the same seat she was in the entire time. She wouldn’t leave that seat until the sun was rising in the sky the next morning.

When that did eventually happen, she left to go from the seat to the bed, where she would doze the day away. Any time she woke up, she just went straight back to sleep if she could manage to. She was hoping to escape, but her nightmares were constant and vivid. Still, it was a relief to wake up and know none of it was currently happening. It was also agonizing to know it did all happen, and even more agonizing to be awake.

Twilight felt immature for her reaction. She wanted to take control, she wanted to hang out with all of her friends, she wanted to be able to get out there and get to the bottom of what happened, but she was just so absolutely gutted that it didn’t matter what she wanted. She simply could not. So now, not only was external control proven to be a farce, but so was her internal control. The control she had over herself.

It was around three days later when the ponies showed up to the cottage again. Twilight was lying curled up on the floor staring at the rug that was underneath her. Her eyes traced the patterns but there was nothing behind them. Then, she heard a knock. She immediately knew who it was, and she felt sick to her stomach. The pressure of wanting to be her best for her amazing friends was so intense, and she knew they were traumatized too. She just didn’t want to offend or disappoint them and it was like she had no control over herself. She was terrified to open the door, but she did anyway. There they all stood, looking brighter than before and bearing many gifts. The gifts were aromatic. Twilight recognized the smells of apple pie, hay, and homemade soup. Her mouth watered almost painfully and she realized she hadn’t eaten since the party.

She opened the door wider without saying a word but this time she was able to curl the corners of her mouth up slightly. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy entered timidly and stayed silent themselves. Once they were all in the house, Twilight shut the door behind them.

“Thank you guys,” She said politely. She felt proud of herself for socializing in a positive way.

“Do you feel any better?” This question was asked particularly softly and came from Fluttershy, which slightly surprised Twilight because she was entirely convinced that Fluttershy wanted nothing to do with her after the fiasco. Still, she had no idea how to answer the question. Her first reaction would’ve been to say no, absolutely not. But she was having an easier time being around her friends.

“I suppose I do,” Twilight offered with uncertainty.

“Twilight, something really bad is happening,” This came from Rainbow Dash. Twilight snapped her head towards her and she felt her heart sink all the way down with sonic speed. They looked at each other with burning intensity.

“Well, I know that,” Twilight whispered.

“No, something more,”

“Rainbow Dash! We agreed not to bring it up!” Applejack seemed appalled.

“We need her help!”

“We don’t need Twilight’s help right now, Twilight needs ours.”

The room became very quiet and still. Twilight’s eyes darted from one pony to the next. She felt herself becoming overwhelmed.

“Guys, what is going on?” Twilight demanded faintly but sternly.

All three ponies were looking at Twilight with varying levels of apology. Twilight attempted to control her breathing and slow her heart rate without showing it.

“Twilight, there’s weird stuff happening all around Equestria. Bad weird,” Rainbow Dash was hushed and serious, a type of expression that was rather unusual for her.

“What, Discord is being an asshole again?” Twilight flatly spat. Everypony looked taken aback.

“No. It’s not Discord. We know that, but we don’t know who it is.”

“If you don’t know who it is, how do you know it’s not him?”

“Well, firstly, it’s not that type of weird. It’s worse. Secondly, he’s trying to help us.”

Twilight considered this. “Fine, then what’s happening?”

Rainbow Dash stepped forward a few steps to be closer to Twilight. She looked grimly serious and it took her a few moments to gather her words. Finally, she swallowed and spoke – “Ponies are dying. Woodland creatures are dying. Everything and everypony is disappearing one by one, and it’s been happening every day since the tragedy at Pinkie Pie’s party. We’ve never seen anything like it. It is undoubtedly the greatest tragedy Equestria has ever suffered. We need your help, with your help we will have a better chance of saving Equestria. Please help us.”

Twilight’s response was immediate and loud. “No,” She projected her voice so that it echoed slightly.

This astounded everypony in the room. Even Fluttershy looked up through her hair. Applejack was visibly upset with Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash tried to argue but Twilight continued before she could even get a word out. “Why would me being there help anything? It sounds like you guys just want me to fucking kill myself.”

At this, Fluttershy abruptly got up and left. Nopony saw it, but she had been silently crying since Rainbow Dash explained what was going on. Her hair obscured the soaked yellow fur on her cheeks. Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed her with their gazes and lingered on the doorway she didn’t bother to close as she fled from it. After Fluttershy was out of sight, they returned their attention to Twilight seemingly simultaneously.

“You know you’re not the only one who was affected by the tragedy,” Rainbow Dash spat.

“Why wouldn’t I know that? I was literally there,” Twilight was surprised by her own words and regretted them as soon as they left her mouth. She felt like she had no volition. Words just fell out like wet, warm sand.

“You act like you don’t even care and it’s breaking all of our hearts!” Rainbow Dash was being apologetically confrontational yet again.

“Maybe I am so focused on trying to get back to normal that I can’t!”

“If you can’t care, then why are you even trying?”

Applejack told Rainbow Dash to stop, but Rainbow Dash had already done it. Twilight used her horn to fling a bookshelf from behind her past Rainbow Dash’s head and it crashed loudly into the dining room table, shattering the glasses that littered it from Twilight never cleaning up after herself anymore and sending dusty old books in every direction.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash gawked at Twilight. Nobody said another word. Applejack and Rainbow Dash just left through the door which had stayed ajar since Fluttershy’s storming off. As soon as their hooves were over the threshold of the door, Twilight used her magic to slam it as hard as she could behind them.

Frames fell off of the wall.

Author's Note

It's not all gonna be like this, things will start picking up in the next chapter. Thank you guys for enjoying it! I'll be writing and uploading chapter 4 tomorrow!

Chapter 4: Sometimes Ponies Lie

Twilight didn’t invite her friends back to the cottage after that. She hadn’t invited them in the first place, but she apologized and let them know she needed to be truly alone for a while. There was no protest from them although this went directly against Twilight’s usual values and they were worried about her. Twilight spent all her time locked in the cottage with the thick curtains drawn and no lights on, mindlessly grazing on the delicious food Celestia had the pantries stocked with all night and sleeping every day. It helped to take her mind away, which she was thankful for.

Although she tried desperately not to, Twilight thought about what Rainbow Dash was talking about before her friends’ last take-off. Something bad-weird was happening all over Equestria. Or, Twilight thought, what happened at the party just… never ended. That’s what it sounded like to her. Ever since the party, disappearances and deaths. Thinking about this too long often ended up in a major shut-down of some sort. She’d curl up under a few quilts on the floor and cry, or she’d eat until she couldn’t move, or she’d read a book she hated just to feel something.

Sometimes she would wake up and immediately wonder where Spike was, since she usually started the day with him. Then, she would notice that the sun was still down – not from dawn but to dusk. When she absorbed her surroundings and the reality set in, she just went back to sleep. She just slept and ate, never opening the doors or windows and never writing to her friends after the apology letter. She wanted to disappear. She secretly, and guiltily, wished that whatever made those other ponies poof into thin air would just take her away too. She wondered why it didn’t, if it was random. She wanted to stop thinking about it but analyzing all those little details consumed her. She felt like if she didn’t do this, she would miss something crucial and would have indirect involvement with catastrophe yet again.

Everything was wrong. Twilight couldn’t bear to think about Rarity and Pinkie Pie. She understood that they were gone too, but her mind almost wouldn’t let her believe it. She thought back to all the times one of them had been kidnapped or lost or seemingly poofed into thin air . They had to be somewhere, she knew of it. All the missing ponies of Equestria had to be somewhere. She didn’t see their end the way she saw Spike’s, she didn’t have to see them lying there lukewarm and nothing but biomass. She involuntarily gagged any time that last image of Spike entered her mind, threw up if she had food in her stomach, which was all dangerously common. So common that her throat constantly burned now. She would eat food to replace what she lost, but then she’d just throw up again at some point. Every topic she lingered on turned into that image. Every single one.

Twilight guiltily recalled the last interaction she had with her friends. Although she had apologized, she felt like she didn't even deserve to call them friends anymore. The hours each seemed to stretch into infinity. She watched the minute hand sit still until suddenly it peaked back up at the top over and over again and eventually she realized the sun had come up in the sky. Seeing the sun these days instantly made her tired. She rested her head on her hooves, not bothering to move to the bed, and thought about how she could apologize to Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Thought about how Rarity and Pinkie Pie deserved apologies too. Tried not to think about Spike.

When Twilight awoke, the sun was still up. She fell asleep with her eyes still trained on the clock, so when she opened them she saw that she’d only slept a few hours. Four hours and twenty-three minutes, to be precise. It came to her in a dream. She would write them a letter. She would write them each a letter, even Rarity and Pinkie Pie. She thought about these letters so much, started writing them in her head – starting with Rainbow Dash. She felt the worst about how she treated Rainbow Dash. Her own behavior shocked and disgusted her. Threatening physical violence was far beyond any line she’d ever come close to crossing. Even as she remembered it, she could feel her stomach churn, her cheeks warm. All the emotions she felt these days were regret, guilt, shame, and grief.

–

After Twilight’s outburst Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack went straight to Princess Celestia. They had been in close contact with her since the party, considering the horrors that were terrorizing the citizens of Equestria and their duty to protect everypony. Celestia was staying in Ponyville, as it seemed to be the main target, with a large protective magical dome covering the entire premises. Although she put the dome up, the disappearances and deaths just moved to other places in Equestria. Their latest concern was havoc in Everfree Forest. There were seemingly no animals but predators left, and they were hunting each other for sport – making the forest a legitimately dangerous place to be near. Celestia cut the force field off just at the clearing before the woods, but that didn’t stop citizens and creatures who weren’t Ponyville residents from mistakenly entering the forest. Of course, they would never return.

Princess Celestia was staying in Twilight’s old place and attempting to make it comfortable by putting everything that belonged to Spike in a consolidated location and meticulously cleaning and organizing. This wouldn’t have taken long originally, but there were certain things Twilight had in her house that caught Celestia’s eye and confused her. Writings strewn about the desks, annotations in books, to-do lists; all suggesting one similar thing – Twilight was unwell before the attack.

Rainbow Dash knocked on the big front door sharply with her hoof and Princess Celestia had the door open before her last knock which had Dashie inadvertently throwing herself inside. The concerned look the princess gave had Rainbow Dash speaking before she even greeted her.

“Twilight just threw a bookshelf at my head.”

Princess Celestia looked doubtful and almost offended. “I’m sorry?”

“Twilight threw an entire bookshelf at my head.”

“She’s not lying.” Applejack chimed in. Fluttershy was behind her shaking her head ‘no’ in agreement.

“What happened?” Celestia calmly demanded.

“We went there to… to –”

Applejack once again chimed in. “We went there to say hi. We thought Twilight could’ve used company, maybe some good old-fashioned support.”

“Yeah! And she threw a bookshelf at my head!”

“What was said?” Celestia seemed incredulous.

“She was mad at me because… Well, I asked her why she was even trying if she didn’t care – She said she didn’t care, by the way. But before that, I asked for her help! With… all this –” Rainbow Dash made a general all-encompassing gesture – “and that was her response. That she didn’t care. She doesn’t care,” she started to tear up. “And she threw a bookshelf at my head!”

“I think she gets that part, Dashie,” Applejack muttered quietly, but not out of earshot from the princess.

“Well, if she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be in that cottage right now. And she definitely wouldn’t have thrown a bookshelf at your head,” Celestia seemed to still be thinking but this answer was not satisfying for the ponies.

“To be fair,” Applejack was a good voice of reason. “Fluttershy was clearly right about her not wanting company, and you were pushing her mighty hard. I get the desperation, trust me, I do. But I think she is just way too fragile right now. That’s why I said we shouldn’t mention it. I thought hearing that it was still happening would break her for good…”

Princess Celestia looked approvingly over at Applejack. “That is a very keen observation, Applejack. You’re right. Rainbow Dash, I don’t think what you were doing was wrong. Your heart was in the right place, as usual. However, if just one death has put her in this state… I cannot imagine that knowing it never ended would be healthy for her. Her outburst was unacceptable but we must remember that she is nowhere near her right mind. You weren’t hurt, and certainly she could’ve hurt you if she wanted to. It might be a better idea to leave her alone for a while. I don’t think she was as mentally sound as we all thought she was, even before the tragedy.”

“What do you mean?” Rainbow Dash asked. She was still upset with Twilight, but mostly concerned. Especially after Celestia’s two cents, because she was undeniably right.

“I don’t want to reveal such personal things, but I want you all to understand the gravity of what she is facing. She normally puts on a brave face, especially for you girls. She is very good at being courageous and friendly. Extraordinary even, so good at it that I never suspected she was struggling. But I know now that she always was. I believe that suppression of her true emotions may have contributed to the camel’s back shattering this way.”

This left the ponies speechless. They didn’t ask any further questions about what Celestia was referring to, but it was those writings that littered Twilight’s home. On the outside, she was radiant and kind. She uplifted any and everyone, and believed that nopony was truly bad deep down.

Except, apparently, herself.

Twilight sat at the desk in the bedroom of the cottage with paper sprawled around her and something inside her recognized that this was her element. However, as she stared helplessly at the quill and paper, thoughts bombarded her and prevented her from picking the quill up and starting any of the letters she intended to write. She kept having ideas for what to say, but then as she would go to put the ideas down she felt embarrassed of them and decided to "think on it" a bit more which resulted in nothing getting done. She had so much to say, and yet had no desire to say any of it. She was really only doing this for her friends, out of a sort of emotional obligation. She hated the idea of changing as a pony and driving everyone away, especially after losing so many friends maybe forever.

She wanted to apologize, she wanted to explain, she didn't want to excuse, but she didn't want to mention the tragedy or have to write about her own mental state. She didn't want ponies to know how she really felt, even though she was wearing it on her sleeve. She kept taking huge bites of plain hay and chewing on them for minutes at a time, deep in thought.

She felt as though she didn't deserve her friends which also prevented her from being encouraged to write their apology letters. Her motivations had been fettered by her own actions, just like always. So helpless to resist her deepest emotions but so used to hiding them.

The thought of everything she had done to upset her friends, Princess Celestia, anypony else. She raked her memories and recalled every single negative reaction she'd ever given somepony. She remembered snapping at Rarity for making a mess of her library. She remembered snapping at Spike.

She suddenly decided she wouldn't write anything that night.

Author's Note

I apologize for posting this chapter so much later than I said I would -- college is surprisingly time consuming. Who woulda thunk

Chapter 5: There's No Way

Applejack gently tapped the door to Twilight Sparkle’s house. She knew Princess Celestia would hear it. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were behind her.

They received an urgent summons while they morosely and silently ate lunch. The princess recently teamed up with a few other unnamed, powerful ponies to extend the forcefield. She kept them anonymous even to her most loyal steeds because she was afraid that their retaliation to whoever was doing this would make them targets.

When Princess Celestia opened the door with her horn, the ponies walked in and saw her in the library, flipping through the pages of heavy, old books with her brows furrowed. She didn’t look up until Rainbow Dash offered “Princess?” in a voice much softer than her usual projection.

The books floating all around her suddenly thumped to the ground, causing Fluttershy to jolt.

“Girls. One of the ponies helping me with the forcefield noticed something about the woods today. I won’t let there be suspense, so I’m going to tell you right now. This pony noticed some peculiar activity in the woods. Says not only are the woods being heavily affected by this… curse, or villain, but that the villain surely remains there. That there is one pony causing this disaster and that they’ve set base hidden deep within the woods. Now that the forcefield has surrounded them, the disappearances have stopped. But the deaths haven’t, and that is because our perpetrator is using them to lay low for now.”

Silence fell over them and all that could be heard was Fluttershy’s shallow, quick breathing. The ponies figured Princess Celestia was implying that they should go on a mission for her to confront whoever was causing all of this, but none of them felt ready. Without Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity, and in the face of everything… They simply didn’t feel capable.

They waited for the princess to say something else. They knew they shouldn’t impose and they had no intentions of going into those woods. Princess Celestia began again.

“I want to take you girls into the woods with some protective shields I’ve just perfected. I will cast them with my horn, but you will all need to stay close by me – Within a twenty-foot circumference you will be safe. We must confront whichever pony… Or creature… Is doing this.”

–

Twilight suddenly felt her eyes regain focus and some awareness flood back into her senses. Her hind legs were tingling from how long she’d been sitting on them and her cheeks were warm, eyes burning from how dry they became as she stared at the clock again. Apparently it was seven o’clock, but the wan gray tone of the sky didn’t make differentiating the morning from the evening possible. She detached from herself into memories of Spike and she would now have to wait and see if it got darker or brighter outside.

Twilight had now eaten all of the food in the cabin, but she realized she didn’t care as the last bite entered her queasy stomach. She was only eating to distract herself, maybe? To make sure she wasn’t being even more wasteful than she already was? Either way, she hadn’t been tasting a single flavor. She was barely ever aware of what was going on in the physical world anymore. With all the idle isolation, she had no reason to focus on anything that happened outside of her. After she had her emotional outburst, her friends never visited again. She was glad, because she deserved it and they deserved better. She could only passively hope they’d taken care of whatever was going on, but if she had to be honest with herself there was no sense of urgency.

She still hadn’t written the apology letters she planned on giving them, and didn't even know what she’d have to do to get those letters to them… If they ever wanted to see her again anyway. Twilight thought she could probably just waste her life away in here now. Nopony was checking on her, nopony was sending her any letters or more food, nopony was even passing by to get to the woods. Occasionally she would hear some fuss and check outside, but it was always the woodland creatures and they were always gone by the time she mustered the motivation to look.

After some time passing and her remaining stagnant, she noticed the sky was actually darkening. Although this was routine for her at that point, it made her stomach sink in a horrible way. She stayed put and used her horn to cover all the windows with the thick blankets that Princess Celestia left strewn around the cabin. She didn’t use those blankets anyway, because she didn’t make any efforts to accommodate herself at all. Then she tipped the clock off of the wall, which fell behind a bookshelf. As she glared over at the falling clock with half-lidded eyes, they widened suddenly because she noticed one of the books on the shelf.

The book was called How to Stay in Control When Everything Goes HAYwire!

She summoned the book to her hooves and opened it with her magic. She turned to the table of contents and read them to herself aloud, “What is control? What is in my control? Building a routine… Constructing an ideal self… Acting on goals instead of impulses… Getting rid of distractions… Prioritizing my path… Salvaging relationships… Mind over body…” Her eyes grew softer with each new item on the list.

She muttered voicelessly, “This is just what I need.”

–

Princess Celestia reminded the ponies that the forcefield would break if they weren’t diligent in following her closely. They were all there trying to get used to the heavy, balmy feeling the shield brought them. A glowing blue tinged the edges of everything in their eyesight, they all felt like there were rocks in their stomachs (as if they didn’t already) and their movement felt uncalibrated.

“Ponies, how do you feel?” The princess asked them, knowing their answers were not going to be positive and really only hoping to give them an opportunity to complain without feeling too guilty about it. Though, they didn’t. They simply groaned pitifully in response. Fluttershy was clutching her eyes shut, trying not to lose her balance.

They stood at the mouth of the forest, actually quite nearby the cabin that Twilight was staying in. They originally thought it might be worth it to gently request her aid, but upon seeing the blacked out windows they figured it’d be better to leave her alone.

Entering those woods, they felt a suffocating darkness close in around them. Even Rainbow Dash was quivering, hypervigilant and swinging her head in the direction of each faint noise. Princess Celestia kept an even, calm stride but was even more aware of the ponies’ inner feelings within the shield bubble.

As they got deeper and deeper into the woods, they noticed something they didn’t anticipate which made Princess Celestia immediately more protective over Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, you will feel your eyes close involuntarily in a moment. I am doing this because I can sense how scared you are through the shield I’ve cast, and I am warning you because I don’t want it to catch you off guard. What I will do now, since we are already here, is carry you on my back,” And the truth was not fully explained with that. It was more of an excuse, because what Princess Celestia really saw in the distance before lifting the poor, tearful Fluttershy onto her back made Rainbow Dash and Applejack severely jealous of Fluttershy’s inability to see anything.

Small woodland creatures smeared on the path, at first in small clusters, but following those clusters brought them to a point where they were practically on every surface. They were mutilated in unique ways, and none of them were moving. Applejack held her breath to keep from puking at the sight of the reckless carnage and Rainbow Dash’s neurotic jumpiness had turned into still-moving shock, maw agape.

Princess Celestia was attempting to talk the ponies through this, knowing that following this path would certainly bring them straight to the perpetrator, but her voice was nothing but a dull hum to them. The only thing that counted to their senses was each new, abhorrent display. Their gates became strange from the way their knees were wobbling, and they were both crying – Rainbow Dash silently, Applejack going on with steady and breathless sniveling.

“Oh my clop,” Applejack whined. “Who could do this? Who would ever do such a–” She stopped short because now they were only a treeline away from a small, dirty clearing where her question was being answered.

A pony, then. A pony with matted, brown fur and dull pink hair, egregiously caked in something that was either mud or blood (probably both) and stuck under an equally filthy headpiece of some sort. This pony smelled absolutely foul, even from so far away, and it was being silent as it took this unmistakable morbid delight in beheading each sparrow that flew by with a pop and drop. The pony’s cutie mark was obscured by the thick muck and it had its back turned to the now urgently silent group of ponies.

When one of the sparrows’ bodies fell and made two other sparrows’ heads roll like bowling pins, the pony giggled. A familiar…

“PINKIE PIE!”

Author's Note

OOOMAGAAWWDD sorry i havent uploaded in so long!! life is actually so life rn. and i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing, but im starting to rly like how this story is turning out so expect much more frequent posting, something comparable to how I was doing it when I first uploaded this fic. tell me what u think!! ^,,,^ huge reveal hehe. thx guys