The Prince's Predicament

Cinnamon led Shining down the street, with Mustard trailing behind them. Despite his promise to protect Shining Armor, he wasn't dressed in his armour, but he didn't really need to be. As the threat wasn't one that needed to be matched with steel, he was ready to meet the challenge with his mouth.

"So where is this place?" asked Shining. "I haven't seen any bars in this district."

"Well, it's not a bar, per se," admitted Cinnamon. "There is a bar, and they do serve food, and that food does meet the requirements of the local health administration, but their primary income is from a different source."

As they rounded a corner, Shining saw the neon sign welcoming patrons, not to a bar and grill, but to a strip club. The blinking lights showed a stallion dancing on a pole that was being struck by lightning bolts. The awning over the door read "Lightning Rod's Gentlecolts' Club."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, come on, Shining," chuckled Cinnamon. "We promise the food's good, and it's safe. We also promised we'd introduce you to stallion-on-stallion culture in a safe environment, where they are allowed to look, but don't touch. This fulfils both criteria!"

With a worried sigh, Shining walked through the door. The foyer was small and dark, and only a single bouncer was there. "Evening, boys," he said, fishing out six tokens from a small box. "I'll need to see your IDs."

"Oh, ha ha, Scotch," sneered Cinnamon. "You know we're allowed in."

"And your cos-playing friend?"

Shining pulled out his ID and presented it. After closely examining it, the bouncer looked up, wide-eyed. "O-oh..."

Cinnamon fished out a couple of bits and placed them in the tray next to the bouncer. "Tokens, please."

"R-right away, sirs."

With tokens in hoof, Shining walked through the opposite door into the club proper. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to the stage, where not one, not two, but five stallions were dancing with poles to a hooting crowd. Despite the fact that they were wearing more clothing than most, the dancers seemed to be more scantily clad than the customers.

"So what are these tokens for?" asked Shining, not looking back.

"They're for drinks," answered Cinnamon. "There's a two-drink-minimum at most bars, but if you just want to walk in and watch the dancers without paying for anything, the club still has to make money. So they sell you these tokens so you can come in, which you can then turn into drinks at the bar. It's a safety measure. Come on."

Shining had to be pulled away from the dancing stallions on the stage, but once he had moved to the bar, he was fine. The bar was a decent size, but most of the tables were on the other end of the room, where the dancers were.

"Howdy, Cinn," smiled the bartender, tipping his Stetson. "Brought ya two bits of arm candy tonight?"

Cinnamon chuckled. "This is Prince Shining Armor. We're here to show him a good time. And of course, you remember Mustard."

"An honest-to-goodness prince," smiled the bartender. "At the very least, you look closer than most of the other costumed pretenders I've seen running around here. What'll ya have?"

Cinnamon explained the menu, which was divided into six boards over the back wall of the bar. A was for Alcohol, meaning the drinks there were the standard singles that were expected. B was for Boyfriend, meaning they would be best served with two straws for ponies on dates. C was for Cold, meaning these were frozen drinks, made in a blender with crushed or shaved ice. D was for Designated Driver, meaning these were non-alcoholic drinks, either for the pony chosen to take everyone else home, or for those that had some other aversion to alcohol, like the Saddle Arabians. E was for Everyone, as in bulk drinks that would tend to an entire table. F was for Food.

"I'll start with a hayburger and a grapefruit juice," answered Shining. "Just something simple for now; calm my nerves a bit."

"Grapefruit juice'll be a token, if ya have it, but the burger's three bits."

Shining reached for his coinpurse, but Cinnamon beat him to it. "This is our treat," he interjected. "Enjoy yourself."

Shining nodded and the other two ordered food and drink. While Shining had stuck to the non-alcoholic side, Cinnamon and Mustard ordered Boyfriend drinks, with Mustard ordering a single non-alcoholic beverage to be able to taste Shining's food for contaminants.

"So, see anypony you like?" asked Cinnamon, once the bartender had stepped away. "You can have them dance for you."

Shining blushed. "I guess a couple of them are pretty cute..."

"Go pick one you like, and tell them you think they're pretty."

Shining's face turned red, and he shook his head.

"Stop teasing," chuckled Mustard, pinching Cinnamon's flank. "You know he's shy at this stage. Remember how I was the first time you brought me here?"

Cinnamon scoffed. "Shining, if you think you're going to leave Cadance to have a torrid affair with a sexy stripper that'll ruin your relationship, tell me now."

"She'd probably invite them to bed, as well."

Their jaws dropped. They knew Shining and Cadance fooled around with other ponies, but to say it so openly... They were not expecting it.

Shining, realizing that he'd misstepped, backtracked a bit. "I'll try later. Some other day, but not today."

As soon as he finished talking, their food came. Mustard had ordered exactly the same thing Shining had, so that in the event that the food was being poisoned, he'd have a backup plan right away, while Cinnamon had called for some hushpuppies.

Despite the very fast service, the burgers were actually very good, at least as far as Shining was concerned. Then again, they'd been left untouched for so little time that there was no way that it could have been tampered with. It took a week of foul-tasting food items, but for the first time, Shining was in awe of common bar food.

After a few drinks, the bartender brought the owner out of the kitchen. Shining actually knew him, too, as he used to be a royal guard. Lightning Rod had taught him quite a bit before the accident that had cost him his leg, and they spent almost an hour catching up before the kitchen needed him to come back.