The Prince's Predicament

When Shining made it down to the barracks, all of the soldiers were ready for him, waiting in line and cleaned up. He was eight minutes late, and they had been waiting for him, as opposed to last week when he showed up early and caused them to scramble. It filled him with pride to know that they took the time to prepare for his visit, even though it was part of their jobs.

He walked down the line, making sure everything was as it should be. He didn't have to worry about most of them, as they were all pretty good about keeping their equipment in top shape. Even the guard that had been patching up his damaged breastplate the week prior was fitted with a fully-repaired set. It still had a few light dings and the paint seal wasn't as faded as the rest of it, but it was close enough that nopony would notice without looking right at it, as he was.

It wasn't until a third of the way down the line that he noted some snickering behind him. He turned around, but there wasn't so much as a grin. Usually, Shining was pretty lax in his discipline, for as long as he could be. If the men were capable of handling themselves, he wouldn't have to, and if he knew what was funny, he might be willing to allow it.

But for now, just letting it go would have to do. He would presume it was harmless, and keep going.

When he came to Mustard, neither could help but smile. "Sleep well, Sir?" he asked.

"Not horribly. Still not great, but improving."

"Glad to hear it," nodded Mustard. "Were we any help at all?"

"I believe so," affirmed Shining. "Looks like your left shoulder's loose."

Mustard looked down at his shoulder and pulled back the pauldron. With a small adjustment, he tightened it down and secured it in place. "I'll see about securing that, Sir."

"See that you do."

As Shining made to move to the next in line, he heard the giggling again. And yet, as he turned to look, their faces snapped back to normal. He spotted a few eyes glancing his way before snapping back to attention.

Weith a deep breath, he continued on. Three quarters of the guard he'd passed through before the next bout of snickering bubbled forth. He was in the middle of telling one of the guards to replace a rivet that was starting to bend when he heard it. He spun as quick as he could, and caught two of the men laughing.

"You two, step forward!"

They both snapped back to attention, then slowly moved forward, standing at attention.

Shining marched up in front of them. "This does not have to be a difficult event. This does not have to be a long event. It takes less than a minute to go over two uniforms. In fact, barring any interruptions and in ideal conditions, we can knock out every single soldier in the city in less than half an hour. This may not be the fastest, but all I ask is that you stand still for the time it takes to inspect your uniform. Do you think your fellow guards want to stand around for the several extra minutes it takes to tell you two off?"

"No, Sir!" they answered in unison.

"Because let me make this clear: I don't want to be forced to spend any extra time administering punishments than I have to. If I don't have to give out any punishments, my time can be spent on better things. Giving out rewards, helping to fix problems, and doing things that will improve the lives of my little ponies. I can't do those things if I have to dole out punishments, instead. Would you rather I make things more difficult for you?"

"No, Sir!"

Shining looked into the eyes of the two guards. "Tell me the joke."

The room fell silent as nopony spoke.

"Spit it out," repeated Shining. "If this gag of yours is funny enough that you had to disrupt the simple activity of uniform inspection, I'm sure we'd all love to hear it."

The stallions began to sweat. They didn't know what to do.

"Sir, permission to approach?" requested Mustard.

"Granted."

Mustard ran up, and standing next to Shining, whispered to him, "Your erection is very visible."

As Mustard returned to his place in line, Shining didn't move. He didn't look, he didn't reach down to feel it, he just stood there, glaring at a spot on the wall while he considered his next move.

"I don't want to hear any more giggling," he said finally. "Situations such as this are a common occurrence. If you cannot handle this in a dignified manner, I can send you back to basic training. Is that what you want?"

"No, Sir!"

"Back to your places. Not a peep out of you until the inspection is done."

The guards filed back into line and Shining returned to his duties, now aware of his own arousal. He was more terse with his tone, but most of the remaining guards were helpful to speed things along, with one even promising to repair his tasset before Shining even saw it. One of the plates had ripped its rivet out of the belt. It was difficult to repair or replace. If this had happened on the battlefield, it wouldn't be his end, but even so, it had to be fixed.

As Shining finished up, he turned and looked at the room. "Very well done, men. What problems are visible are set to be fixed. Never forget that this uniform inspection is for the safety of your loved ones. You work hard to keep them safe. Your armour works hard to keep you safe. As you draw breath, be thankful that your equipment is in good condition and is well-maintained. Remember that you represent Equestria every time you don that armour and wear it with pride. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir!" they all said in unison.

"Dismissed."

As they all filed out, Mustard waited near Shining for an opportunity to approach. His shift was starting soon, but he still had a few minutes. "Would you like me to have Cinnamon come up and take care of that for you?"

Shining shook his head. "Leave him be. I'll be alright."

"Okay," nodded Mustard, looking around. "You know, you weren't the only one with a stiffy. I managed to overhear some things, and some of the boys think you have a great arse."

Shining smiled and blushed.

"Just thought you ought to know."