(Based on the fan art piece by ToisaNeMoifs. Contains a cartoon pony flushing themselves down a toilet in cartoonish fashion.)
Rainbow Dash had gotten used to some pretty weird and out there requests from Pinkie Pie, her good friend and partner in crime when it came to pranking. Over the years, Rainbow had gotten to know the party planner and part time baker well. Almost nothing about Pinkie shocked the cyan coated speedster any longer. Key word being almost.
One day that would otherwise be not at all out of the ordinary, Rainbow was resting on a cloud outside her house above Ponyville, when she heard the familiar call of Pinkie Pie rousing her from her sleep. “Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow tried not to be upset as she woke herself up and shook the dust from her eyes. Her nap could wait until she’d tackled whatever it was that Pinkie wanted her to do. “It shouldn’t take more than a minute or two knowing Pinkie.” She thought, landing on the ground in front of the party pony.
Pinkie seemed to be more excited than usual, which was saying something when one considered how easily excited she tended to be. She was bouncing up and down and everything with a wide, goofy grin plastered on her face. The earth pony could hardly contain her enthusiasm. “Rainbow Dash, am I glad to see you!”
Rainbow put on the best smile she could manage under the tiring circumstances. “Hey, Pinkie, what’s up? You need my help with something?”
“Yes indeedy, Dashie,” Pinkie declared with a grin. “You’re the first pony I thought to ask.”
“Well, what is it? Could it wait until I’m done with my nap?” Rainbow let out a slight yawn and stretched her wings.
The party pony shook her head at her tomboyish friend. “Oh no no no, Rainbow Dash! This is something I have to do and I have to do it now!” She paused in her bouncing, looking her friend straight in the eyes as she declared. “I need you to come with me to Sugarcube Corner, and flush me down the toilet!”
For a moment Rainbow was silent, blinking at her party planning friend as if she expected some kind of joke or teasing remark. There wasn’t one. “Uh, I’m sorry, Pinkie. Clearly I must’ve heard wrong. Because I’m pretty sure you just asked me to flush you down the toilet. But there’s no way you’d ask me or anypony else to do that,” She commented quite nervously. “I mean… how would I even do that? I don’t think a pony can fit into a toilet.”
“Silly, Dashie, if I didn’t know I could fit would I be asking you to flush me?” Pinkie grinned. “I’ve flushed myself all the time, but today I wanna try something new. Something I need another pony’s help with.”
The cyan coated speedster tried to fight back a gulp. “Why do you want to be flushed? You know where the toilet goes, right?”
Pinkie retorted with a roll of her eyes. “Duh, the stinky sewers of course. I wasn’t born yesterday, I know how a toilet works. But getting flushed is so much fun! The swirling water, the roar of the drain, the gurgles you make when you’re sucked away. It’s the best experience in the whole world, just as long as you remember to hold your breath.”
“But why do you need my help to do any of that? Sounds like all you need to do is jump into a toilet, pull the handle, and let the flush cycle take care of the rest.” Rainbow questioned.
The earth pony with a pretty pink coat grinned even brighter, her look taking on a smug expression that could give even Discord a run for his money. She had lured her friend in with curiosity, now to land the snag. “The only way you’re gonna find out is if you come back to Sugarcube Corner with me. I’ll be waiting in the upstairs bathroom.”
The pegasus prankster pony wanted to say no. She suspected the whole thing was an elaborate Pinkie Pie prank. But a part of her was curious. “If anypony could make the impossible possible, Pinkie Pie would have to be it. I guess it can’t hurt to humor her.” She thought and spoke up. “A-alright, Pinkie. I… guess I can flush you down if you really want me to. Uh, are you sure you should be doing it, though?”
Pinkie nodded her head. “I’ve got no parties to plan and the Cakes don’t need me for baking or foalsitting,” She then bounced away, happily declaring. “I’ll get my gear! See you in the bathroom!”
Rainbow sighed as she watched her friend bounce away over the surrounding hills. “What have I gotten myself into this time?” She thought out loud to herself.
Still convinced that this was all some sort of elaborate prank that only she wasn’t in on, Rainbow Dash didn’t say a word as she came to Sugarcube Corner a short time later. She just pushed her way through the front door and made her way upstairs without even glancing in the general direction of anypony.
The pegasus mare knew where the upstairs bathroom was, it was not far from the twins’ nursery. They were in there, sitting in their playpen and happily rolling a ball back and forth without a care in the world. Maybe Pinkie was doing it for their benefit? To show them what would happen if you went down the drain?
Rainbow shook her head, that made no sense. If anything that would make the situation worse, the twins probably didn’t know how a toilet worked and would assume Pinkie had disappeared forever. Or worse, they might try to test it on themselves or somepony else.
So Rainbow trotted past the nursery without looking at the twins and entered the bathroom down the hall from it. Pinkie Pie was already there, standing before the toilet with the lid raised (but not the seat) and a rather large snorkel mask and breathing tube colored a light yellow.
Pinkie turned briefly to see her cyan coated friend enter. “Dashie! Glad you could make it! I’m ready to go!”
“You mean down the toilet?” Rainbow questioned once more.
Pinkie nodded and with a grin she stepped forward, planting one hoof firmly in the toilet bowl and then another. It looked like she could barely stand in the gleaming white, porcelain contraption. “Don’t worry, it’s clean. I always make sure of that before I do this.” She reassured her friend.
“Uh, okay, if you say so,” Rainbow reluctantly commented as she eyed the mask and the tube. “Why exactly do you need that stuff?”
“Because I’m going toilet diving, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie proudly declared. “I realized that, when you get flushed it’s like going on a giant water slide! Yeah, maybe the destination isn’t so great but the ride down is super fun! And the only way to make it more fun is to treat it like a giant pool, a giant pool that can suck you down!”
The brash speedster didn’t say anything as her friend finished her statement, she just nodded her head and eyed the handle of the toilet. The silver device almost taunting her with its smooth surface. All she would have to do is grab hold of it and force it down, but she still doubted it would actually send her friend down the drain. Ponies couldn’t be flushed, could they?
Pinkie just stood in the toilet bowl, grinning from ear to ear with anticipation. “Come on, Rainbow Dash! Do it! Pull the handle! I’m ready!” She encouraged.
Rainbow looked at the handle, then at her friend, then back to the handle. She carefully flew over to it, putting her hoof on it and ready to push it down. “You really wanna do this, huh Pinkie? You sure this isn’t some kind of prank you’re pulling on me?”
“Of course not, Rainbow! Now come on, flush it! It’s time for me to go!” Pinkie encouraged as she opted to fix her mask and tube to ensure they were on properly.
The pegasus mare took one last look at her friend, hoof still resting on the toilet handle next to the lid. “Well… alright, Pinkie, but you asked for this.” She commented as she prepared to push on the handle.
“Wait, Rainbow!” Pinkie called before her pegasus friend could start the flush cycle.
Rainbow stopped on command. “Yes, Pinkie?” She asked, and in her mind she was thinking. “This is it! She’s gonna hop out and say ‘Gotcha!’ and we’ll have a good laugh about this.”
But the party pony simply said. “When you flush me down, can you say ‘Pinkie Pie go down the hole!’?”
“Uh, of course I can, Pinkie. But why do you want me to say that?” Rainbow questioned the unusual last minute request.
“Dunno, it just came to me,” Pinkie shrugged her hooves that weren’t submerged in toilet water. “Now enough chit chat! There’s only one way I’m leaving this bathroom, and that’s through this toilet! Or down this toilet to be exact!”
“Okay, Pinkie, here we go!” Rainbow declared as she finally let her hoof push down the handle. And as she had been instructed to do she declared. “Pinkie Pie go down the hole!” For some reason though, when she said it she opted to hold the “o” for several seconds.
“Fwoosh!” The toilet roared as the flush cycle started up. Pinkie immediately felt the waters in the bowl as they started to swirl about, tugging on her tail. She could feel herself moving about, spinning around and around in the draining toilet. She stuck her free hooves up in the air as her lower body started to be pulled down the drain with the retreating waters! “Wheeee!” The mare cheered in innocent delight, not the least bit concerned.
Rainbow could only watch in amazement at the impossible scene that played out before her very eyes. Her friend was indeed being flushed down the toilet slowly but surely. And not once did it cross her mind to maybe pull her friend out and stop her. Rainbow just took on the role of an observer, as if documenting the whole thing for all of ponykind.
The last trace of Pinkie that could be seen was her head, before it was sucked down the drain with the rest of her and a series of muffled gurgles could be heard coming from the drain. When they had faded away the toilet refilled, with there being not a trace of Pinkie anywhere. Nothing would’ve indicated that a pony had been inside it just a short time ago.
Rainbow finally opted to do something other than just stand there. She peered down into the toilet bowl. “Pinkie?” She called. “Can you hear me?” There came no reply, not a gurgle or a cry. Despite this, Rainbow fully expected her party planning friend to pop back up through the pipes of the porcelain pool at any second. Eventually, however, she got bored of waiting.
The speedster pegasus reluctantly shrugged her hooves as she exited the bathroom, though not before putting the lid of the toilet back down out of courtesy. “I guess Pinkie was telling the truth all along. Can’t imagine how she figured out she could flush herself,” Rainbow thought. “Oh well, she made it sound like she’s done this before so I guess she’ll be alright.”
Rainbow Dash trotted downstairs, soon being greeted by the presence of Mrs. Cake. “Is everything alright? I thought I heard some strange sounds coming from the bathroom upstairs.” She inquired.
“Oh, it was nothing. I just flushed Pinkie Pie down the toilet is all.” Rainbow Dash bluntly answered.
Mrs. Cake’s expression changed only slightly, more out of shock than anything else. “What?!”
Rainbow shrugged her hooves. “She told me to, she said she’s done it before. So I decided to humor her. I didn’t think she’d actually get flushed though. But she did, saw it with my own eyes.”
Mrs. Cake just sighed, appearing to groan a little. “Oh, that Pinkie Pie. I know she means well and she likes to have fun, but sometimes she comes up with the strangest ideas.”
“Don’t tell me, she’s done all of this before.” The cyan coated pegasus questioned.
Mrs. Cake nodded her head. “Apparently, Pound and Pumpkin Cake did it to her once when they were obsessed with flushing everything. Since then she’s been doing it at least once a week,” Another sigh escaped her lips. “I’ve been telling her not to do all the time or she’s gonna get sick or stuck, but she doesn’t listen. At this point Carrot and I have given up trying to make her stop,” And then she added. “I’ll just get to work on preparing a bath for her, she’s going to need it. She gets awfully smelly every time she does this.”
Fanning a hoof across her nose, the plump baker trotted up to the same bathroom Pinkie had been flushed down to get a warm, soapy bath ready for her young apprentice and daughter in all but blood (and name).
“Wheee!” Pinkie continued to scream in delight as she was swept along by the draining water, through the pipes on their downward journey. By now she had clearly left the ones connected to the toilet and it probably wouldn’t be long until she reached the exit point, the Ponyville sewers.
Sure enough, just seconds later Pinkie’s journey came to an end. A light appeared up ahead and she tumbled out, landing rump first in the sewers. She quickly picked herself up. “Aw, it’s too bad the ride’s so short. It’s always so much fun!” She declared.
Now came the most difficult part of the experience and the only part the party pony ever truly resented about the whole experience, having to trek up to the surface and back to Sugarcube Corner for a bath. If only there were some kind of shower system that could be installed, or some kind of teleportation device that would take care of that stuff for her. Alas, no such things currently existed.
After a good deal of wading about in the sewers, the earth pony with an appropriately colored coat of pink found her means of exiting, an open ponyhole cover and a waiting set of steps nearby. She made her way over to the location, climbing up and out. And what luck, there was nopony around to see her surface. Pinkie had gotten tired of getting yelled at by construction ponies, or having to explain herself to easily frightened citizens.
And the stroke of good luck continued as the mare found that this ponyhole was just a hop, skip, and a jump from Sugarcube Corner, give or take a couple of steps. She could easily cover that distance and did so with ease, discarding her snorkel and breathing mask in the process and storing them back in her mane. She could always wash them off later.
Before entering the bakery, Pinkie took a moment to shake herself dry. Yes, she would just get wet again in a little bit but she knew it was bad for business to come inside dripping wet. Especially considering where she’d been.
Mrs. Cake was waiting for Pinkie upon the party pony’s re-entrance, and the frown on her face indicated she was anything but pleased. “Pinkie, you flushed yourself down the toilet again.”
“Nu-uh, Mrs. Cake, Rainbow Dash flushed me!” Pinkie giggled.
The plump baker just shook her head. “Either way you’ve been in the sewers, and you’re all dirty and stinky. You need a bath, pronto! Lucky for you, I’ve already prepared one. It’s in the same bathroom as the toilet you were flushed in.”
“Okie dokie lokie, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie saluted. “You won’t get any complaints from me. Nope, no siree, not in a million years. But getting flushed is so much fun! You should really try it sometime!”
“No thank you, Pinkie. I have no desire to experience such a thing. And you really shouldn’t be roping your friends into your toilet tours.” Mrs. Cake commented as she led Pinkie upstairs.
The pink party pony giggled. “But Rainbow Dash seemed to enjoy doing it to me. It was the ultimate prank, sending me on a one way trip to the sewers.”
“It’s not a prank if you told her to do it, and enjoyed it I might add,” Mrs. Cake declared as they entered the bathroom. “Now hop into the tub, missy! And don’t even think about jumping into the toilet afterward! If I have to, I’ll put a lock on the bowl so you can’t keep flushing yourself all the time.”
“Aw, you’re no fun, Mrs. Cake.” Pinkie lightly remarked. But she wasn’t going to flush herself again so soon anyway. Not at Sugarcube Corner anyway.
And maybe she could find a way to get her friends into this fascinating experience, or at least some of them hopefully.
Author's Note
I've written a few fics like this, involving a pony or ponies getting flushed down the toilet in more or less cartoonish fashion. This isn't the first one I've written, but it is the one I want to more or less test the waters with (no pun intended).
It is intended purely for comedic purposes. The inspiration for this particular fic comes from the aforementioned sketch used as cover art.
