Whoops!

by The Weaver

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, Violence, Sex, Main 6
Length: 1981

Twilight's spell worked far too well. Pinkie Pie has suffered a hard reset!

Discord is loose, for the first time in a thousand years, and Twilight uses a spell to reset her friends. Little does she know that one of her friends is a little different than she remembers when running at 'factory specifications'.

It has been a long time since Pinkamena Diane Pie walked Equestria but today is the day!

Note; I will update tags as required. The current ones are the ones I plan to include.

I might not bother with a cover image.

Published 2023-02-23 17:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-23 17:00:00 UTC

Waky Waky!

The first thing she remembered was whiteness but was soon replaced with images. The images looked nice and happy... if they didn't have her in them but she was. She was front and center surrounded by five others. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She drew breath for what felt like the first time. Though she knew this was not the case.

Pinkamena found herself in her room and grimanced. Around her were the other five ponies... wait. One was missing. The one with the rainbow mane.

The lavender unicorn was losing her smile as Pinkamena inspected the room and its occupents. "Pinkie, are you alright?" She looked unsure of whether her friend was back; Pinkamena didn't have the heart to tell her that she wasn't.

"It's Pinkamena." She corrected without thought. "What happened?"

"Discord, the beast, did something dreadful to us." She paused as the world was plundged into darkness and the moon was seen shooting past the window. "But soon it will all be over!"

"That's right! Noth'n we can't deal with if we pull ta'gether!" Said the cowhat wearing... Applejack. Her name is Applejack. Fluttershy was in the corner trying not to be seen and Twilight was still giving her an odd look. Pinkamena felt rage begin to bubble up at the possible judgement but swallowed it; she remembered where they were at in the story. The big final fight with the Big Bad Guy.

Rising to her hooves she looked out the window and sighed. "You sure the elements will work? I would hate to be turned into a pancake after all this." Inwardly she sighed again; she sounded nothing like her, how was she to pretend to be her?

"With the power of friendship there is nothing we can't do!" Twilight said with conviction. She couldn't tell it if Twilight was saying that for her benefit or if she truly believed that notion. Then again we had delt with Nightmare Moon that way, didn't we?

What would... Pinkie... say? Maybe... "Still one egg short of a complete cake!" Pinkamena tried to sound happy go lucky; she even had a smile.

Was she able to count as the element of luaghter? It was her body afterall and, sort of, her mind? Something that she needed to consider. Oh, they were speaking and Pinkamena missed it and now they were filing out of her room. No it wasn't her room it was hers. It could be hers; it was far from the-

Pinkamena staggered out into the bright noon day with a splitting headache. Oh, good; the bigot farmpony was hauling a wagon that she could fit into. Now now now. She admonished herself as she climbed in. You're no paragon of virtue yourself and she doesn't really mean it that way when she talks about how much better earth pony ways are; though there have been days. These ponies are counting on you to be their friend when it truly counts and it counts today! No pressure at all! What was it again? Something Something spark of friendship? Do I need to embody all six or would just laughter do it?

Pinkamena slumped into the wagon and just let them take ger to where ever they wanted. All around her was oddness. The ground was patchwork of blues, purples and even some pastel yellows and the sky was a slightly off green color. The buildings, not to be outdone were floating, some with their own patch of dirt and more all by themselves. It occured to her suddenly that Applejack had spoken; "Hm?"

"Ah asked if you were okay? You've been mighty quiet recently." Applejack noted as she gazed back at her.

"I uh... just need to compress. I should probably try and joke, huh? Today has been... a thing. Yes; a thing." Pinkamena starred out into the distance, a thousand yards at the least, as they neared Rainbow Dash's home.

She didn't think she was funny or that it was even a joke but Applejack snorted in good humor. "Ur right by that! We'll be sleeping well tonight."

Fluttershy flew up to... "Oh, look; she's looting!"

Rarity and Applejack smiled but Twilight shook her head; though she smiled too. "No time for jokes Eqestria is counting on us."

"No pressure or anything." Not like I have to impersonate myself and hope what is left of her in here was enough to get the elements working. Pinkamena thought grimly. It would be a bad joke if after all this we were to crash and burn anyways. But that just begs a new question. Pinkamena thought...

Are we friends?

It would be nice to have friends for once. I never really had any back at the- Her brain seized up and her body tensed up like a spring. An instant later the tension drained out of her but her brain still felt as though it had been kicked around in her skull. What was I thinking about? Oh, yes; friends. What a nice concept that would be, I need some.

Flutters flew out of a window. "Huh, she's not here."

Pinkamena looked to the right and then to the left; then smiled. Twilight did not notice in her dismay. "But without Dash the elements are useless. Where could she-"

"Over there." Following her hoof they saw a cloud with something grey sitting on it. Sketchy evidence at best but who else do we know that is presently a monotone? Oh, wait; I am.

We ran over to her cloud. "Rainbow Dash!"

"Hey guys." Came the perfectly normal reply, even had a little wave. Just sitting on her cloud without a bucking care in the world.

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" No we haven't. This is the second place in ten minutes. Tops. It hasn't even become night again.

"That's nice."

"Discord's still on the loose. We need you to help us defeat him with your element; loyalty" Twilight implored to Dash but Pinkamena sighed. In her current state wasn't it pointless to talk it out?

"Can't we just use the spell you used on us?" She whispered.

"Loyalty, schmoyalty!"

Twilight deflated. "She isn't close enough."

"-I'm staying here in Cloudsdale where everything's awesome."

I suppose there is some detailed reason you can't just pluck her out of the sky with telekinesis? Am I thinking too critically? My bad. "If you help us everyplace else can be awesome!" Remember to smile Pinkamena!

"Lame! No pony or place can be as awesome as Cloudsdale." Said the grey bundle of joy.

"The irony that she is now loyal to Cloudsdale instead of including everything else. Any ideas?" Pinkamena asked.

Twilight made an evil smile, Pinkamena was so proud, as she stared at Dash's cloud. "Time for plan B."

So this is plan B, huh? Us sitting in a balloon trying to catch what might be the fastest pegasus alive where if anything goes wrong... Not that it will but you never know... only one of us can fly to safety and another can teleport. Of course that other doesn't always remember to teleport when it will save her life and might not remember to bring passengers. Also physics are on holiday weaping in some corner somewhere; this might be crazy enough to work. "So are we going to send the spell through the rope or try to get her aboard or something?" Pinkamena hendged in the hopes of understanding her role in this.

Twilight grew thoughtful bringing a hoof up to her chin. "Well that is a thought but the spell would need to be reworked and the rope is not ideal. Trust me, my plan will work."

If you say so!

Now floating above our prey Flutters decides to join us. "Ok. Fluttershy, you grab Rainbow Dash and hold her down." That's your plan? "Applejack will lower me down from this rope so I can cast the memory spell on her." Oh, boy.

"Got it!" After a salute Flutters was off.

Like a great bird of prey she swooped down... before pettering out and nudging Dash's ass. Once Dash woke up enough to look at her Twilight's plan began in earnest; "Um. I'm just wondering if it's ok if I hold you down against your will for a little bit?"

"Kinky." Pinkamena said as Twilight tried to cave her own head in with a hoof.

"Ha! Ponyville is your problem, not mine!" And the race was off; Dash plus her cloud and Fluttershy pulling the balloon. Truly, a battle for the ages. Pinkamena heaved the greatest sigh of the day as Dash began flying circles around them. Then Twilight tossed some rope up to Applejack which was weird as Applejack was already supposed to be lowering Twilight down so... so was Fluttershy supposed to hold our, debatedly, most athletically inclined member down for a prolonged period of time or something? Our plan B sucks.

Still, Pinkamena could tell where plan C was going even if B was dead. She tied one end of the rope to the balloon as best as she could. Applejack already got-? Seeing Rainbow Dash begin to level out Pinkamena had little time left. "Grab onto something!"

All too soon the rope was taunt and the balloon jurked forwards. Pinkamena felt her guts lurch but remained at the front of the balloon while Rarity and Twilight fell to the back. Dash had really slowed down but was still moving at a good pace and poor Flutters was now try to outrace the balloon; she was losing.

Need to get those wings.

"Maximal effort!" Pinkamena cried as she climbed under the rope using her back hooves as anchors and pulling herself forwards with her forelimbs. As she past Flutters she called out; "Hang in there! Gonna slow her down."

Flutters just whimpered while sweating from her new pace.

Another rope joined the first around Dash's middle; from the angle it was Applejack holding on. Soon Pinkamena climbed onto the pony herself who jerked at the sudden touch. "Let go!"

"Soon!" She agreed as Dash started to wiggle. She then wrapped a hoof around one of her wings. The effect was immediate even if she could still kinda flap that wing. "Going down."

Soon we were on the ground and deployed in a cross formation around Dash. Each of us had a rope and each rope connected to Dash who was possibly having the worst day of her life. Thrashing, snorting and bucking like the ponies of old. "Let me go! I don't need you guys!"

That hurt. Pinkamena shielded her eyes with her curtain of staight silky mane, tears forming just on the edges of her sight. Yeah, you really don't need me; you need Her. Pinkamena met Flutters eyes, who gave a reassuring smile, but Pinkamena then cast her eyes low. She couldn't take the place of her and trying would be painful. The ropes fell loose and glancing once at Dash let the rope fall to the ground followed by her own rump.

The others ran for a big group hug but Pinkamena stayed put. As she started to contemplate how good it might feel her vison and body was wrapped in yellow. "Come on Pinks, let's join them."

"It's..." Beat. "What?"

"Pinks. You're not Pinkie. My old new friend." Came the quiet words and Fluttershy's grip increased.

It felt nice. Warm even. Pinkamen- Pinks sniffled as she returned the hug. "Thank you. I'm glad you survived."

"Girls? You okay?" Turning they found the rest starring at them.

"Yep yep!" Pinks said, finding herself to really mean it for once. The moments they were having were ruined by a herd of... rabbits? Former rabbits? The abominations? "Right! Let's hit Discord with our Friendship Death Ray!"

That was met with a ragged laugh. Meh; they can't all be winners.