Crystal POV

"...and you always seemed to be the calm one. I can't believe that you lost your temper like that, putting us in so much danger!"

Not long after we had left the bar, Zitrus began to give Blueberry a scolding. He wasn't yelling, but his voice was harsh and strict, leaving no room for arguments.

Not that Blueberry seemed like she would give any. She sat there with her ears and head lowered, looking away in shame. She looked so small right now...

But I knew Zitrus. He wasn't resentful. He would forgive Blueberry.

I looked around, realizing that we had attracted the attention of many creatures nearby. It wasn't often that you could witness an earth pony talking like that to an alicorn.

Savage was nowhere in sight. She had mentioned needing to do something and had disappeared around the corner of the bar. I hadn't questioned it at the time, but now I wondered what was keeping her away for such a long time.

I glanced at Blueberry and Zitrus.

"We can be grateful that Crystal was so fast in creating her shield," Zitrus concluded his speech.

There was a moment of silence as Zitrus looked down at Blueberry, who still didn't dare to look up. Zitrus's expression softened.

There it was, I thought, as I could already see Zitrus's forgiveness.

I emerged from the background and addressed them, saying: "How about you two find a place to stay? I'll go check on Savage."

Zitrus looked at me and nodded.

I turned and went around the corner of the bar, but Savage wasn't there. Just a wall with some windows. I proceeded to the next corner, now on the backside of the bar, and that's where I found Savage...

The backside had no windows and no creatures standing around. It was completely secluded from view. Most likely, this wall was used as a spot for relieving oneself (it certainly smelled like it), but that wasn't what stunned me right now.

Savage was using her telekinesis to press the stallion against the wall. It was the same stallion who had insulted us in the bar. The mare was also present, or at least what remained of her...

Her lifeless body was lying on the ground, the snow around her stained with blood. It was evident that she had been brutally beaten, with multiple broken bones visible even from where I stood. Her face, which had borne a burn wound on one side, now bore another one on the opposite side. And there was a large, fatal cut across her belly, sealing her fate. Her organs were exposed, and I could see all the entrails. Her lifeless eyes had tears and were wide open. Starring into nothing.

There was no doubt that this mare had endured immense suffering before her death.

The worst part was that normally such a sight would make you want to throw up, but I didn't feel that way. I just stood there in shock.

Savage must have looked through a window to spot the two ponies who had offended her and teleported them outside and behind the building. Behind the bar, there were no rules against fighting... behind the bar, there was no pony to stop her...

Now she was going to torture them both to death. The stallion would face a similar fate as the mare. Savage held him in her magical grip and slowly twisted his leg into a position it shouldn't be, causing the joint to give way with a gruesome sound. The stallion wanted to scream, but Savage held his muzzle shut. Tears of pain streamed down his face.

"What's wrong? You wanted to deal with a monster, and now you can", Savage said, giving the stallion a satisfied smirk, relishing in his excruciating pain. "You shouldn't be surprised if you get burned after playing with fire."

All of this paralyzed me. I couldn't move or speak. I could only watch as my mind shattered.

All this brought back memories... torture, screams, suffering, pain... pain, pain, pain! It was all around me! I wanted it to stop! I wanted to forget again but i couldn't. Pain, pain... it spun around me. So many different kinds of pain. From so many different voices. It was everywhere!

"STOP IT, SAVAGE!", I yelled.

Savage, only now realizing that I was there, turned her head in my direction and gave me a smile.

"Ah, sister. You came just in time to watch this bastard receive his punishment", she said.

"STOP IT!", I repeated.

Savage's expression shifted to confusion.

"What? Why? He deserves it. He..."

"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain!

I couldn't hold myself back, I continued to yell. In that moment, I didn't even know what was happening inside my own mind. It wasn't anger that consumed me, as I still couldn't move. It wasn't sadness either, as there were no tears. I simply wanted it to stop.

Savage looked at me for a little longer before releasing her magical grip on the stallion. He fell to the ground and lay there. Only then did my agitation start to subside a bit. My heart was still racing, my breaths were short, and suddenly my eyes filled with tears.

"Sister, what's wrong?", Savage approached me with a concerned expression. The torturing monster in her had vanished it seemed.

I wanted to hide, but I didn't know where.

I felt a hoof on my shoulder, and my eyes regained focus as I looked at Savage. Part of me wanted to push her away, but I knew she couldn't have known. Heck, even I didn't...

I looked away as I began to explain, "I barely remember anything about the Goddess, or rather, the missions she made me carry out. And yet, I know so much about the Unity, the sisterhood we had. I never questioned why I had gaps in my memory. But now I understand."

I paused before continuing, "As a green alicorn, my role was to gather information that other ponies kept hidden in their minds. With my mind-reading ability, it was easy to access that information. However, if there were thoughts that someone desperately needed to conceal and forcefully keep hidden, it was difficult even for me to extract them. That's when I had to resort to using force."

I looked Savage directly in the eyes. "I tortured ponies... I tortured them until they broke and gave me what they knew. And it was especially effective because I could read their minds and discern the methods that caused the most pain to each individual... Entering their minds, I could feel their pain. And I used this knowledge to my advance to make them suffer even more."

"You monsters! You're nothing more than monsters!" a voice exclaimed.

The stallion looked at me and Savage, attempting to move, but his broken joints made it impossible. Tears welled up in his eyes, though this time not solely from pain.

In his broken state of mind, it was easy for me to read his thoughts. Memories flooded my mind, revealing how he and the deceased mare lying next to him had lost their young son. He had been brutally killed by alicorns who later branded the mare. She was his wife, the one he loved the most. With her he had this colt. The pony they valued the most...

It became clear that their hatred towards alicorns stemmed from this tragic event. Their sole purpose was to bring down as many of us as possible. Offending powerful creatures like us in the bar seemed to be the best way. Even if they lost their lives in the process, it would trigger a chain reaction of others attacking the alicorns.

Now this stallion had lost even more. He had lost his son and his wife. He was all alone now. Everyone he held dear was gone, leaving him empty and desolate. And his goal of taking down alicorns was now shattered as well.

As I delved into his mind, I also felt his pain. He had nothing left to live for. He had suffered too much loss. Even if he were to heal from the wounds Savage had inflicted, he would never truly live again.

I cast a spell—a lightning bolt charged with immense power. It wasn't the most dignified way to die, I admit, but it was swift. The stallion was struck, convulsed one last time, and died in an instant.

I didn't feel any better... I simply knew that keeping him alive would only prolong his suffering. Granting him a fast and painless death was the kindest thing I could have done.

Savage looked at the lifeless body, then at me. More tears welled up in my eyes, and I looked away.

"I don't know how many ponies I tortured in the name of the Goddess, nor do I know all the methods I employed. I'm glad I don't remember. No pony should ever have to endure such pain", I said, my voice filled with remorse.

Savage tried to look into my eyes, but I refused to meet her gaze.

"But sister, the Goddess had her reasons for making us do it. It was for the greater good", she told me.

I felt the urge to slap her for saying that, I am still surprised that i didn't, but instead, I turned my head towards her.

"If being good means resorting to such actions, then I'd rather be bad", I replied.

"Alright, thank you, Amy. And from there, do we just have to walk along the lake?"

I approached Zitrus as he was talking with a grey batpony mare with a purple mane and tail.

The two of them examined Zitrus' map, and it appeared that he was gathering information from her about where to go next. One ear of the batpony twitched, and she looked up from the map. As soon as she spotted me, her pupils shrank in fear.

"SCREEEEEEE!", She emitted a high-pitched batpony noise, and suddenly there was only a dusty batpony-shaped cloud left.

To be honest, I was accustomed to creatures being afraid of alicorns. I couldn't really blame them, but it was still unpleasant when others reacted with fear as soon as they saw me.

One week had passed since the torture incident. I tried my best to ignore it, along with the knowledge of my past. However, deep down, I knew I would never truly forget it.

"Who was that? She seemed nice for the half second I saw her", I joked.

"Don't know, her name was Amethyst Gear, or Amy for short. I don't know much about her, but she was able to provide valuable information about the current situation in this area", Zitrus replied.

I sat down next to him and looked at the map. "And where do we go next?", I asked.

"It's best if we head to the Fire Lake first. Don't ask me why it's called that, but I can assure you it's not actually on fire", he chuckled and pointed to a small lake near our current location.

"Alright, and after that?", I inquired.

"We'll walk around the lake and then venture through open land. But we won't leave just yet. We can still take a break here for another week or two."

I liked the idea of taking a break. I enjoyed this place. The creatures here were friendly, for the most part, and not overtly afraid of alicorns, for the most part.

And since it has a bar, it's not hard to hook up with one or two stallions for a night, I thought, smirking to myself.

"I know that smirk", Zitrus spoke to me, giving me an all-knowing smile.

I playfully smacked his hind head with my wing, and we both laughed. Damn, I loved that stallion.

"Zitrus, can we talk?", To my surprise, the voice belonged to none other than Savage. We both turned our heads to see her approaching us.

"Sure?", Zitrus answered, sounding rather confused.

"Good. How does it sound if we go to the bar and have one or two drinks after this? I'm sure the barkeeper wouldn't mind us anymore", Savage suggested.

Zitrus and I exchanged a perplexed look. "You want to go into the bar... with me... to drink and talk?", he asked.

I raised an eyebrow too. It sounded like a trap.

Savage let out an annoyed sigh. "Alright, look. I want to talk about some things that have happened in the last few days. And I want to talk with both of you about it. I thought we could do it in the bar because the atmosphere there is better", she explained.

I looked at Savage, but she concealed her expression and thoughts so well that Blueberry would have been proud. I couldn't read her. But maybe I didn't have to. I think I already knew what it was about... May the two ponies rest in peace...

Author's Note

I should tell at this point that I personally have no experience about traumas, depression or personality disorder. All three alicorns I write with the very little knowledge I have about such. When I write a point of view then I try to embody myself as Blueberry, Crystal or Savage and try to act like they would do, even in such times like we have it here with Crystal.
What I try to say is, if you ever experience about anything that these three had and will encounter, and it might not be very fitting written, then please let me know. But also be aware about my personal inexperience in such.