Blueberry POV

"Because I don’t know who to choose!", Zitrus exclaimed.

I could still feel the blush on my face, and my ears were burning with embarrassment. However, upon hearing Zitrus' words, I dared to steal a small glance in his direction.

Could this mean... “You don’t know whom to choose?”, Savage reiterated.

Zitrus let out a heavy sigh.

“Look, I love all three of you. You're all different, but wonderful in your own ways. So, saying that one of you is more important to me than the others would be wrong. I just couldn't bring myself to pick one of you yet, especially since I know that if I do, the other two would be disappointed. I know all three of you are interested in me, which means that if I chose one of you, the other two would be deeply hurt. How could I choose? I've thought about it for such a long time, but I wasn't able to come up with a solution or make a decision.”

Zitrus lowered his head, appearing tired. It was evident that this question had troubled him for a long, long time.

“Wait, that's the reason you avoided us?”, Crystal asked. Another heavy sigh escaped Zitrus before he answered.

“Well, yes. One reason was that I didn't want to show affection to one of you and have the others think that I had made my decision. The other reason is that I am interested in all of you. It's something that became harder for me to control as time went on... As you just witnessed...”

I recalled the moment we caught him masturbating. Luckily, my wings were still extended stiffly, or the memory alone would have given me another wingboner. Stupid wings!

Savage looked at me and Crystal. We looked back at her. There were no words required right now.

“I don't think any of us thought about it”, said Savage. “We wondered why you were avoiding us, but the thought that you were trying to pick one of us never crossed our minds. Instead of thinking like in a wing.”

“What do you mean?”, Zitrus asked.

“You see, Blueberry, Crystal, and I became a wing, thanks to the strong connection we share. And even under the Goddess, a wing was still three individual alicorns. Just with a very strong bond. And that often led to a relationship with each other. I mean, imagine you spent years wandering through the lonely wasteland with other ponies, sooner or later, you'd develop a strong bond with the ponies around you. Most likely sooner rather than later. But that means that we three don't see a multiple partner relationship as unnatural. Crystal, Blueberry, and I have, as I said, a strong connection. So, what I'm trying to say is: we never expected you to choose just one of us. We wanted you to be one with us. To be a part of the relationship that we all share with each other…”

“You mean like a herd?”, Zitrus asked.

“We can call it a herd, yes”, Savage explained. “But don't think of it as you and three mares. We love you, Zitrus, but we also love our sisters. None of us has more or less value than the others. We love each one equally.”

“Even though you three call yourselves sisters…”, Zitrus questioned.

“Eeeeh… Yes, we call each other sisters, but we do not share the same blood. It is hard to explain if you are not an alicorn yourself. Don't think of us as being related by blood. More like best friends who call each other sisters”, Savage tried to explain.

Hope rose in me as I watched Zitrus thinking about it in silence.

“You know, a herd is a very big step. This isn't like asking out just one pony. This is about starting a relationship in a group of four. There might be jealousy, arguments, side picking, demands, and other things. There are so many ways this could all go wrong. Are you three sure we can all deal with it? Through the good and the bad?”

Now it was Crystal who spoke.

“I think you see this the wrong way, Zitrus. We all love each other equally. And like in a relationship between two ponies, no one pony is better or has more value than the other. Yes, we will face some troubles. Yes, we will have bad moments. All relationships have their very bad moments. But isn't that what we already have? Since the four of us have been together, a lot has happened. Events from both within the group and outside of it. And we faced it all. Together.”

There was another long pause. I could see how Zitrus was thinking. And to me, it felt far longer than it was.

“It will be hard for me to adapt. I never ever thought about such a big step”, he then said. “But yes, I do want to give this a try.”

To some ponies, such a herd might sound strange or make them question if it even works in reality. I guess you have to be an alicorn to understand it. Truth be told, a herd was not easy for me either. Not because I had to share Zitrus; that was not a problem at all. It was more because I did not know what role my wing sisters had for me personally in this relationship. I did not even know if I liked mares. But I was willing to give it a try. They were my wing sisters, and I cared a lot about them. Like, really a lot. And I would not have accepted any other mare (or stallion) into this herd. That we all agreed on. It would just be the four of us: me, Crystal, Savage, and Zitrus.

One of the rules we agreed on was about our sex life. There would be turns, and like in any good relationship, both had to be in the mood for it. But, of course, we could still talk with one another, so the schedule was not fixed.

It had taken me a moment to understand what Crystal had meant when she said that I should go first with Zitrus (even though she was eager herself), since I had waited for such a long time and had a huge crush on him. It had been that moment when I realized she meant sex...

Right now, it was early nighttime. Zitrus and I watched the stars like we had done so often before, but this time it was different. We two were closer, not only literally since we leaned on each other, but also mentally. The tension was gone and replaced by affection. The touch from Zitrus still sent a nervous tingle through me, but now I welcomed it. Now I knew he loved me.

“When did you start having feelings for me?”, Zitrus asked, breaking the silence between us.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I became fully aware of it... after the bar”, I admitted while avoiding using the words “heat period”. “Maybe the feelings for you started small and grew over time? Maybe I always had them? You were the pony who gave me purpose, a personality, and a life. The first one who really cared about me. Maybe I had feelings for you all along, and they just grew and grew with time?”

We sat in silence for a moment before I turned to look at Zitrus directly.

“What about you?”, I wondered.

“I cannot tell for sure either. I always thought you were a beautiful mare, something that, in my opinion, all alicorns share. But beauty gives, in the best cases, only lust, and lust is not love. I fell in love with who you became, from an empty shell into a sweet pony with her heart in the right place. And it's that pony that I started to fall in love with.”

I blushed at his words and was forced to look away from him again. He pressed closer to me, and the tickling feeling increased.

“And all this time, you never told me? Instead, you gave me the feeling you were not interested. Every time I wanted to get closer to you, you retreated. I was really worried that you would reject me”, I told him, a bit angrily.

Zitrus looked sheepishly away, and I could see the guilt on his face.

“Yeeees… I know, that was a blunder. But I was worried that if I returned your affection, it could have been taken as a sign. I think, just like you, I was scared of the confrontation, because I knew if you had asked me out, I would have to make a decision. If I would pick you, Crystal, or Savage.”

“And why did you never talk to the three of us?”, I asked.

“And say what? Hey, Savage, Crystal, and Blueberry, I like you three, but I don’t know who to pick?”

Yes, I had to admit, Zitrus might have been able to handle everything better, but he was also in a sticky situation. For us three, it was so natural to start a herd, but Zitrus always thought he had to pick just one, like it was common for many ponies to have only one lover.

We fell into silence once more as we watched the stars together. Never had I ever felt so close to Zitrus. I spread one of my wings and reached behind his back, but then I paused. I didn’t want to make the wrong move.

“You can”, Zitrus replied to my silent question. I relaxed and placed my wing around his back and shoulders.

Another moment passed in peaceful silence as the feelings between us grew. It reached the point where we both turned our heads and looked into each other's eyes.

“Zitrus?”

My voice was barely a whisper anymore, and he would not have heard me if our faces were not so close together. I knew what was coming now. I had dreamed of it for so long. Slowly, we came closer. I could feel his breath. I closed my eyes and felt him place a hoof on my cheek, giving soft guidance.

And there it was. Our lips touched and connected. Some ponies describe the first kiss as a firework. I myself cannot describe it at all. It was just… wonderful. There was nothing more than the kiss. No other senses, no surroundings, no time.

When our lips parted, I was held in Zitrus’ hooves, feeling like I had just melted into pure bliss.

“I love you”, was all I could say.

“I love you too, Blueberry”, Zitrus said with a warm smile and kissed me again.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay but yea, here it is. The first kiss! Wuhu.
Also I found this song that gave me the feeling like it was created for this story. (It was not. Or at least not in my knowledge.) It reminds me of Blueberry who sings her feelings before she knew that Zitrus loved her. How she screams for his affection.
So yea, the music, the song (If i would give Blueberry a voice) and especially the text really reminded me of Blueberry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doR6QMslVCc