Savage POV

Each step brought me closer to Zitrus, the stallion I learned to know better than any other. And with each trot I grew more unsure. I did not plan to back away now. I promised Crystal and myself that I would talk with Zitrus. I was determined about it. But I was unsure if this truly would lead to something…

“Hey Zitrus…”, I said when I stood right behind him.

For the last few days she had not left his side. Due to distrusting me.

Zitrus’ ear flicked shortly before he turned his head to look at me. He sat in front of his campfire and waited until his dinner, a stew, was done.

He really liked stew. It was simply done, filling and still easy to digest.

“Savage”, he simply said. To my surprise his voice was not as cold as I expected. But it was also not inviting.

Here I was. The tall, strong and powerful alicorn, who once thought she would NEVER make any mistakes, was now afraid of the blame she would receive.

“Crystal is fearing that, if we do not talk with each other, this herd will break apart. And with it our two wings would split. And I think she is right”, I said.

Zitrus didn’t say anything. He just looked at me and waited for me to continue.

I gave a heavy sight and then walked around him to take a place opposite of his position. My head hung low to show that I felt ashamed. My long mane covered half of my face. He loved the long manes we alicorns had…

“Look, I am sorry!”, I said and looked at him in the eyes. “I am sorry that I nearly attacked you. That was never intended! I was lost in the blood lust as I killed those raiders. I lost control after I saw what they had done to that other alicorn. To a sister of mine! And during that phase I was not able to see the difference between friend and foe. But you know that I normally would never attack you. Never!”

Zitrus didn’t answer right away. He first let my words sink in. I got a bit nervous there. Waiting for his judgment.

“This is not what I am concerned about”, he only gave as answer.

No other comments. No input. Just that. My nervousness got out of hoof and my voice to rise.

“Then what? What is it?! Was it that I killed those raiders? I know you are more of a pacifist, but these were insane raiders! You saw their camp! You would not have been able to talk with them. They would just have tried to murder you, no matter what. They could not have been reformed. You could only kill so that they would not be able to hurt any other pony again.”

My heart was racing. Without realising I had stood up again.

“This is also not what I am concerned about”, he returned.

He, for his part, gave me an emotionless look. Like all my words meant nothing to him. It angered and hurt me at the same time. I was trying so hard right now to save this relationship, but he was making it so hard for me.

"Then what? What are you concerned about?”

Even though my emotions were going up and down, my voice was relativity calm. Most likely because I couldn’t really blame Zitrus.

Zitrus looked away for a short moment. He often did that. To give a break in the conversation and when he wanted to say something that was hard for him to voice. He then turned his head back and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Because I do not know who you really are.”

I didn't know how to respond to that when zitrus said that. My brain tried to figure out, what exactly he meant. There were multiple options for it. And they all concerned me.

“What do you mean?”, I asked uneasily.

“It is about the way you killed those raiders”, Zitrus started to explain. “That was not just an execution of some evil raiders. That was a massacre. You literally tortured them to death. And you did it all without showing any regrets or compassion. What I saw there was not the Savage I fell in love with.”

“But that was just a bad moment when I lost control. Usually I am not that way. All this time we spent traveling together, I have never given you a reason to mistrust me. Does this time mean nothing?”

“It does. But still, when you stand here, right now, in front of me… I cannot tell who you really are. I would like to think that you’re the Savage I know and love. The Savage who left her power hungry, torturing and fanatic self behind. And I often do see that. But then with the raiders or even in Alicornia, you show your other side. It shows me that the old you still exists. And it makes me wonder, who is the real you? Who is the real Savage?”

These were heavy words to consume but it explained the distance zitrus had put between me and him the last few days. It was the same distance from when we had first met. When there only had been the old Savage.

My mouth felt dry when I spoke.

“But I am the real Savage. The one you love and the one who loves all of you back. Crystal, Blueberry and Zitrus. The one who does not see herself as some pony better or higher. The one who is more willing to help than to destroy. The one who does not follow the path of the Goddess.”

“And still, there is also the other Savage. The old you. Maybe not now… But it just needs a little fuse to bring her back again. And maybe you never changed, and the old Savage is the real one.”

“No! I will not let it happen! Please Zitrus, I am happier now than I was before. This is the me I want to keep”, I said to him.

“How can I believe you?”

“I promise it!”

“What value has a promise for the old Savage?”

…

My mind was racing. I didn’t know how to react, what to say, what to think. I only knew that Zitrus was not wrong. Deep inside of me was still slumbering the old Savage. Like a second personality.

“I said that this is the Savage I want to be. This is the real me I want to keep. And not the old Savage. A fanatic alicorn who wants to rule over the wasteland while abusing her power to kill, torture and spread fear. This old Savage I am more than willing to give up. And I can prove it.”

Zitrus who had looked away for a short moment, turned his head again in my direction. His eyes were filled with curiosity.

“I never told you what I was doing before I joined this group”, I recalled. “You see, I was actually on my way to a secret cave. I got information that some alicorns, who work for Velvet Remedy, had found this cave with a powerful artifact. The Bewitching Bell. A bell that can suck the magic out of any creature. Including alicorns. Making them unable to fly or cast magic again.

Velvet Remedy keeps this artifact guarded at the moment. The reason is because many alicorns gave up their powers of their own free will. The old me did not approve of this, of course. In my mind, all alicorns should be great and powerful. So, my goal was to destroy the bell. So that no alicorn would have been able to lose their power again…”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. What I was about to say, took a lot of strength to say.

“But now, I am also willing to give up my alicorn powers.”

Zitrus was silent for a moment but i could see that he was very surprised

“You are willing to lose your magic?”, he asked me.

“Not really. I am willing to give up my power. The old Savage would have been nothing without her alicorn power. Which Means, when I have no more magic, she has no chance of coming back anymore. And I am willing to take this step if it means I can be with you three”, I said.

Zitrus was silent again. I stood firm in front of him. Showing that I was serious. Then he gave a nod.

“Alright… where is this cave?”

Author's Note

Yes, with Bewitching Bell i mean the one from G4 in season 9.
Beside of that, we have another quesion answered that was following us during the story. What Savages initially goals have been.