The Return to Equestria

by Tyrannosaurus_Tux

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 5074

You return to Equestria... after a long journey.

...You're back. Much has changed, hasn't it? The world, you, me... it'd be easier to ask what hasn't changed, really. The road has been long, hasn't it? What you've seen... what you've done? That can wait. A few friends have been waiting.

Published 2023-04-10 15:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-10 15:50:00 UTC

From the Wild to the Future

"Well, that's new."

You had to admit, none of what was outside of Equestria had really prepared you for what awaited when you returned. You unshouldered your pack and sat down on a grassy hill overlooking the village. No... "village" isn't quite right anymore. It has... grown. You were able to guide yourself by the old library tree that used to tower over the thatch-roof houses... but that's gone. In it's place, you see a crystalline palace, again in the shape of a tree. The buildings around it have given way to taller, more modern, square houses with roof gardens. The streets seem more full, too. In places, you even see pavement. Just how long have you been gone?

You grab your canteen and take a sip. The cold water is a balm for your sweaty brow, seeming to taste even cleaner than when you exited this place. If you were being honest, though... you just preferred this place. Your earliest memories since coming to this world... chaotic. Emotional. Things... might've been said and done that you regret. But that was a long time ago, now. Years have passed, and... you've learned. At least, you hoped you had. You leaned back on the backpack, a crude thing you had made, and twice-over crudely repaired. It was as good a thing as any to lean against, as you take it all in on a warm spring morning. The birds chirped along from house to house, chased by a young pegasi.

"Even if the ponies have replaced their cute cottages with cute houses," you remark to yourself. "it's still not as big of a change as that library tree becoming a... big crystal castle tree."

Your sense of familiarity failed you, as this pony almost seemed to blend in with her red coloring to the bricks and the decorations. The grasses fill your nose, as you breathed and stretched. You look at your feet, beat as they were from all the walking. You've had to replace many socks and shoes, but you reckoned that your feet were worth covering, at least. Everything you wore when you originally came to this place by accident were now long gone. Luckily, you felt that you became much, much better at walking, and your feet rarely hurt anymore, even after long days of backpacking across forgotten country.

But it is nice to rest... especially when it's finally time to return. But you're just too comfortable right now to seek anyone out who might remember you. Instead... you ask yourself something.

"Why did I ever leave in the first place?"

When you woke up in this world one day, it was a bit of a shock, as was meeting the denizens here. Such a big shock, in fact, that you must've made an impression that you were potentially dangerous, enough so that the heroes of this place had assembled to stop you. It was at the peak of your paranoia and fear. Your madness and your wrath. It was all a big misunderstanding. You weren't evil, not truly. You were just... scared. Confused. Angry. And yet... that confrontation was what convinced you to leave.

This place was nice... sure... but you desperately wanted a way home. Somehow, anywhere... well, that quest is all in the past now. The weirdness you felt about interacting with the ponies and the weirdness of adopting their ways... well, you've had a few years to come to terms with that. Compared to the weirdness you've seen since, and the ways of those outside Equestria's borders... well, you didn't actually interact at all with those outside of Equestria. You always meant to but there was a feeling you couldn't shake, like... it wasn't meant to be. It was always... uneasy to never really go into the towns of those whom you saw. Griffons, ponies... even more exotic creatures. Maybe you should've tried to pet one of those alpaca looking ones... eh, probably best you didn't try. They might not've... understood.

So what were you doing all this time? Walking around endless trails? Well, there were the dreams. Maybe it's a sign... or a wish being granted... but sometimes, when you slept or you daydream like you're doing now, you can see... something.

Images from back home. Sounds and abstractions. But no real news. Nothing you can make sense of, at least. Among the things you've seen... there were... well, the usual suspects, seeing cars and skyscrapers, but there were some things that didn't make sense. More and more screens floated by your vision, words disappearing as fast as you read them. You often remember that you learned details of what was happening back home while you were gone, but you could never remember what the details actually were. Even a journal you kept to try to recollect something of the dreams was little help, not when details were lost in the time it takes to open the book and put pencil to paper. A horn was sounded... and everybody's angry, furious even? That actually sounds like something to discuss with somebody who might make sense of these dreams.

Or rather... some pony.

Your eyes opened. Not much has changed around you. Looking right to left, you see the signs of life you always had. Would it have been satisfying to have some epic adventure, saving the day with some daring do, or even with the pony named such? Would it have been at least interesting to have epic fights and edgy conversations? To discover some ancient artifact that would allow you to trailblaze a way home? Sure... maybe. Depending on what would've actually happened. Maybe a starship could've gotten you out. Something that would've drawn eyes. Instead of climbing mountains, looking in caves, and drinking from rivers, you could've been charting stars, forging hyperlanes, and drinking alien drinks. Or you could be sucking vacuum because you pushed the wrong button like an imbecile, or crashed into an asteroid, or something. Maybe... that was for the best.

But then... plenty could have gone wrong with this trip of yours, as well. Monsters, falling off a cliff, starving? Well, best not to think about that now. Your search for a way home could've also been much more successful. An ancient artifact? A portal? A clue? Magical devices? Anything? So much could've happened... but there was something that sunk its claws in you, after all, you realize as you sat on the grass. A realization.

You've become homeless. Well, obviously, you have no room, no board, no bed to lay your head, but... this is more... substantial. Whatever novelty gleaned from being free as a bird has now finally worn off, since... well, let's face it, you've been living like a caveman. Scrounging for berries, roots, nuts, catching fish with your bare hands... but you got really good at making fires. Dead wood is best. Easy to gather, burns the best. Making firepits is much less hassle than running from a forest fire, as well. …Not that you burned down any forests, mind anyone who asks!

You wipe some moisture from your eyes. You wait, and watch. If you were being honest, you were just waiting for a curious pony to come up and say hello. Maybe you smelled bad, even after the river bath you took. Last week. The water's too dang cold. Maybe this plan was not the best one. Sniff, sniff. Yeah... you probably should make yourself presentable before you attempt to integrate yourself into this society at last.

Step One: You should clean yourself now.

With a sigh, you end your rest and commit to ask around. Hefting first yourself off the hill and then your pack onto your back, you scratch your face and look around or any ponies to ask for directions. By now, the morning bustle had subsided, and fewer ponies were walking the streets. Still, you were able to spot that red pegasus from before, and you wave your hand. It took a few tries, as you walked down the hill and just about to the extent of Ponyville itself, but the pegasus, who you now see has a red-brick coat and brown-brick mane, stopped chasing the robins and took notice of you.

You cleared your throat. Oh, this is embarrassing. You haven't spoken to anyone for a while. You've only gathered the words you wanted to say just as the pony was landing. She looked up at you with clay-blue eyes, and asked, "Hello? …Who are you?"

Cordially, you introduce yourself with your name and then admit, hoarsely, "And I'd like a bath, or a good, hot shower. Is there a place I can go for that?"

The little horse grins. "That sounds right up my alley. I'm Brick Way, by the by. Wait there. I'll get you."

Without further introductions, Brick Way zooms up and out of sight. Well, at least your first interaction went well. Nothing like breaking the proverbial ice to ease your way back into things. You look around again, noticing the new shops with interiors and displays. When you were last here, Ponyville had a mostly open air market, with wares being advertised out of carts and stands. Everything from produce to flowers would be on full display, as well as the smells they produced. You remember a pony would sell some pretty delicious apples and cider near the center of town, near around here.

As you swivel on your feet to try to get your bearings as to where that would actually be, you hear a whistle above you. You look up, to see what that would be, only to flinch and shield your eyes as a torrent of water suddenly drenched you head to toe. Even as you held your arms out after the splash and started shaking yourself off, you hear pair of pegasus ponies loudly guffawing from a cloud above. You look up, but the usual suspect isn't among them, with only Brick Way and another pony you don't recognize as the guilty party. It was a stallion, with blonde hair and brown coat and gray eyes, as well as a blue neckerchief. They hoofbumped, then the stallion flew off as Brick Way called after him, saying, "Thanks, bud! I knew you were good for a prank, Straw!"

As you glared tiredly at Brick, she regained her composure and said, "Yeah, I'm sorry. Couldn't resist. I'll get you to Ponyville Inn. They'll have hot showers for you there."

Controlling your breathing, you manage, "I... I need new clothes." The pair of makeshift pants and shirts you wore were your last... you pulled off your pack, and inspect its contents. Your heart raises a little to see your belongings still dry, but you were still set on replacing the rags that were borderline potato sacks at this point. Perhaps that bo... bou... boutique would be a safe bet. "I want to look a little bit better than a homeless cave... pony," you stammer as you look down to meet Brick's eyes.

She smiled softly, saying, with a wave, "C'mon." With that, she set off, on the ground, leaving you to follow after her with a muted dripping. You were aware of a pony with a mean prankster streak. Wonder what she's doing? Before you could ponder that, you caught yourself staring at anything and nothing in particular. More niche stores were now to be found, with a few clothing stores (Good to know you have options), warehouse stores, groceries, general stores. Also were a few cafes with customers sitting outside who couldn't help but notice your sorry state, but... it wasn't a great shock to them. You could've had three eyes but the more remarkable thing would be that you were drenched, it seemed. Or that you were wearing such ratty things. You breathed, trying not to dwell on it. Stripping down would likely not be an improvement.

It actually took a while before you noticed that Brick had slowed down and was at your side, asking a question. "So where do you come from?" She had asked. You tell her, and she remarks, "I've never heard of that before. Is it on another continent?"

Smirking, you reply, "If it was, I'd still be there. I was trying to find a way home, but it seems I'm stuck here, as an off-worlder."

She gasps, a hoof to her mouth. "Like I've heard about that sometimes! How a visitor from another world is stuck here, and tragically has to make a new life amongst a strange people?"

You stop, and turn to stare at Brick. "What?", you questioned, otherwise at a loss of words. You search her eyes, but she looks away.

"Well," she bashfully admits. "It was more the story of a few dime bit novels I've read recently."

This... was even more of a surprise. What the hell's going on?

"Are these stories... about me?" you asked, gesturing to yourself.

After a moment, Brick laughed. "Oh, no," she confessed. "You're a bit of an... urban legend these days. Your story was quite moving, and it took only a bit of imagination for the lost soul becoming a pony in some alien world. Quite the community that's been built up around this sort of thing."

You put your hands on your hips, shaking your head. "This..." you gasp. "This is a lot to take in."

"Hey," Brick interrupted your thoughts. "We're almost there."

Putting aside what you've just heard for your more immediate objective, you agree. "Y-Yeah. Let's go."

If you were distracted by the sights before, you sure weren't now. How could this be? You, an urban legend? You, who left Equestria with no expectations of returning? You, the one thing that no pony could've remembered? As if by fate, your eyes were drawn to a stand of books, with titles like "Trapped on the Planet of the Brain Bugs Vol. 13" and "Reincarnated as a Hermit Crab-Pony" standing out. You blink. Your vision gets dizzy. You take a few missteps. Before you fell over, though, you catch yourself slipping and re-establish yourself in the waking world, and re-acquiring Brick Way as she lead the way.

You felt eyes watching you, but you can't see them. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose... in through the mouth. There's nobody watching you... right? …That means ponies. Yes. Now, you're with Brick Way, passing the huge crystal castle. You can see a violet banner flying from a window, and the image of a familiar cute—cutie mark on it. Looks like somepony really moved up in the world.

Good for her. You'll have to ask about that story sometime. In any case, you really should get clean. You see it even before Brick points it out to you, noting, "There. The Galloping Bear."

It was something else. A two-story building, with a rooftop café and yet still with all the décor of a rural inn. It even has a sign with a fierce-looking bear speeding at full tilt. The homeliness of the place is very appealing, as is its proximity to the castle. One must suppose that the giant crystal castle must be doing wonders for local tourism. Goodness knows you certainly find it very appealing right now. Behind the stone and wooden walls is the promise of cleanliness. You shiver, but you need a plan, as well. You reach into your pockets. You have some bits and even gems, but you're not really sure how far this would carry you here. Hm...

You pull some bits from your pouch. You clear your throat, and go to one knee. Brick Way turned around to meet your eyes. You respectfully say, "Thank you, Brick Way. If I may ask for another kindness... I'd like for some new clothes as soon as I got myself clean. Think you can... get something clean for me to wear with these bits?"

Beaming, Brick Way replied, "Hey, what are friends for?"

Thump. There. In your chest. A feeling. It rose up through your throat and into your eyes. It pulls at the corners of your mouth, and you see no reason to resist. You do resist the feeling in your eyes long enough to reply, "Yes. Friends. I like that. Thank you." You hand her the coins, and then you rise to your feet as she tucked them under a brick-red wing.

Brick Way then trotted off to complete your objective. As you carried yourself to the door, you consider how unenviable that job would have to be. Maybe she'd find a barrel for you, like in the cartoons. Maybe you'll find a fetching poncho waiting, or maybe some drapes made to roughly fit your frame. Whatever she manages to find, it'll just have to do until you can manage something more substantial. Like undergarments. That'll be really nice.

Now enough speculation. Thou must carry out Step One.

Pushing on the door to the inn, you are greeted by a plethora of sights, sounds, and smells. Freshly-baked treats and the roar of a fire. You see a front desk attended by a smaller, sleeping pony, flanked on the right by a few empty tables which circled a good fireplace, and on the left by wooden stairs. The room was lit mostly by the large front window which filled the room with natural light, though you did see an unlit iron lamp in the center of the room. The sight that surprised you most, however, was a lit-up jukebox which played music. You stopped for a moment to have a listen.

It had a quick tempo to it, and it was accompanied by a singing pony voice, which altogether gives you the impression that it was the pony equivalent of pop music back... home. Whatever emotions the song was conveying was overshadowed by this eerie realization. Shaking your head, you focus back on the sleepy earth pony at the desk. She had large, round glasses for those large pony eyes, and her overcast blue coat was paired with her black mane which hung freely over her shoulders. She even wore collars around her neck, embroidered and decorative. Must be an employee uniform. She even has a tag on the collar that read "Amethyst Day". Let's be careful, you think. If you aren't careful, you might scare this poor mare half to death.

You softly make your way across the carpeted entrance towards the front desk, where you're able to read a sign that was propped up on the desk. "Welcome to Galloping Bear! Please ask us for our rates and services!"

Well, there was nothing else for it. You knock on the desk with your dirty knuckles. This noise was enough to shock the pony awake, her purple eyes widening in realization that she's on shift right now. Without missing a beat, she recites, "Welcome to the Galloping Bear Inn! We have rooms fit for—!"

She finally was able to look at you, and she recoiled, shrieking, "Ahh! A bear!" Despite yourself, you couldn't help but laugh. Mistaken for a big ol' bear, that's a new one. You scratch your face.

"Am I that frightening?" You wonder aloud. You introduce yourself, while giving the poor girl a chance to calm down a little.

She automatically responds, "Are you here to rent a room for ten bits?" After a sniff, she added, "And a shower?"

"Yes! Please," you bellowed, without really meaning to. With that bit of encouragement, Amethyst offered you a keychain from a box on the desk. It was a simple metal key, with a carven bear on the chain, with a "4" carved on one side, and a "Property of Galloping Bear" on the other.

You picked it up, depositing the asked amount of coins on the desk. Amethyst swept up the payment and stashed it under the desk. She met your eyes, then asked, "Will that be all, Exile?"

You tilted your head, and blinked. You asked, "What did you call me?" That seemed to have quite the effect on Amethyst.

Her eyes widened again, and she panted and stammered as she apologized, saying, "I-It's just that... you look like you've been gone a long time! That's all!" She made sure to break eye contact for a moment, before she remembered something and she was able to meet your eyes before reciting, with a bow, "We hope you enjoy your stay!"

That made sense enough, you suppose. With a shrug, you made your way up the stairs, brushing past a unicorn with a pink bow in her hair and wearing the same uniform Amethyst downstairs was wearing. She went past you too quickly for you to pick up any other detail, except perhaps that she wore a chemical cleaner smell and was saddled with janitorial supplies on her pale coat and brown mane and tail. The hallway before you was like any other hotel you remember, except with a more rustic atmosphere than the sterile and clean look of hotel hallways back home.

You paused, tilting your head to hear the voices from downstairs. The new voice had called out, saying, "Boss, you ok? You seemed a bit rattled. Did our new guest give you a hard time? Did they scare you?"

You leaned against the corner of the wall, and the wooden floorboards strained a little, but you've got to hear this.

"N-No," she had reported. "Listen." Her voice then quietened, and you had to strain to compensate. You missed too much of what she was saying, but you did catch, "—somepony like that. Well, not a pony, but you get what I mean. Dawn, I need you to go to the..."

It became more difficult to hear the voices. You bit back your groan before you made any noise. Finally, you hear the pony called Dawn reply, "...Alright. But be super careful, okay? I'll be right back."

You heard that Dawn pony depart the building, and then you heard Amethyst sigh. You stood back up, trying to guess what could have been said, but the possibilities... well, best to think about that in a bit. You still need to get clean, whatever's coming. There. Room 4, on the left, just before the stairs that lead up to the rooftop café. The key slid into the lock true, and you reached into the rented lodge with your head. To the right, a bathroom. At last. You didn't really consider the clean bed, sofa chair, table, or dresser, nor the window view that revealed the streets and buildings outside. Whatever is to happen, will happen after you get yourself clean again.

After taking care of business, you can finally appraise the inn's shower, complete with bathtub and complimentary toiletries... mostly shampoo, but some soap, which does not surprise you. But enough delay. As you turn the water to hot, you go all out, and you even take advantage of scrubbers and brushes to wash it all. You feel the weight and stress of an entire journey wash off your body, as well as all the dirt that had accumulated on you, as well. When you were done showering/bathing, you stepped out and took advantage further still of the inn's accommodations, with brushes and razers and clippers that let you trim and shave to your heart's desire. When you were done, you suspected that the bathroom would never be the same again. You looked yourself in the mirror, and you weren't quite as you remember, but you still reckon that you looked good, you reckoned with a smirk.

"Ponies, watch out! There's a new face in town!" You taunted. You rub your belly. Step One is complete. Step Two; find something to eat. You ran out of berries and nuts to eat yesterday, so... yeah. Better find something fast, but you won't really want to do so naked, so you use a few extra towels to drape over your waist and a shoulder. You stand before the mirror, and pretended to be Roman for a second, extending a finger like that one statue you remember. You smirk. But then you remember Step Two.

The café on the roof should be a good place to look, for a start. Taking your purse and your keys, you lock the room and ascend the stairs to the roof. There, you see that not a whole lot was happening. Sure, it was just as idyllic as Ponyville itself, but for a business, perhaps it was not for the best that the table and chairs were empty. You see the café itself and read the display note; "Open 6-9, Or by party appointment and slow days". There's a story here, but you're not quite sure what it could be. In any case, you decide then to simply go downstairs and then pay for some treats or something. With that, you advance back down the stairs and down the second set of stairs that leads to the lobby of the building.

When Amethyst saw you again, she was besides herself with worry, looking at nothing and holding her head with her hooves. You know just the thing to bring her out of that funk. You deposit a few coins on the table and then say, "I'll have whatever that is that smells really good."

She finally notices first the coins and then your request, which prompts her to reach under the desk, and withdraw a brown, paper box with a certain pink pony's face on it. She pulled the top off the box, and... you cover your hands to your face. You never could've believed you would've cried to see blueberry chocolate chip muffins, glazed doughnuts, and a little milk carton... is that...? It is! It's chocolate milk!

Mouth agape, you turn to look at Amethyst, who meets your gaze with haunted eyes, and said, "She... she dropped it off. Told me to give it to you. When I asked her where she was going, she just looked at me like an owl and said 'Super serious party business'."

She then narrowed her eyes. Amethyst asked, "Why are you wearing the inn's towels?" You shrug.

"Because I don't want to be naked," you answer. You then added, "And I should really throw my old clothes in a fire, not put them back on. I went and got a pony named Brick Way to get me some clothes. She seems like a good friend."

Amethyst blinked. "Yes," she remembered. She then smiled, "She's a good weather pony, if a bit goofy. She'll have went to the castle straight away."

You can probably guess why. With a sigh, you wonder, "It's probably because of me, right?"

Sheepishly smiling, Amethyst reported, "Y-Yes. Princess Twilight, she's—"

"Wait, wait," you interject, with a wave of your hands, away from your face. "Twilight is a Princess now? Since when?"

Amethyst's eyes darted to one side as she thought. "Nine years ago, now?"

You blink. Any longer lost wandering the wilderness and you'd have to start calling yourself Moses. Or check your head for a shrapnel horn.

The thought gives you pause as you rub your forehead. Why would you check for that? Is it a reference to something back home? Something you dreamt about years ago now?

You look for a seat, and cradle your head. You regain control of your breathing, and you manage a seat at one of the lobby tables. You take a moment, then look up to see Amethyst, offering you a donut in this confusing hour. You take it, looking at the texture and the glaze. With another glance to Amethyst, you take a big bite. You smile. It's been a very long while since you've had anything this sugary. Swallowing, you asked, "So what was that about... Princess Twilight?"

You take another bite, watching and listening as Amethyst nods, gaining more of her confidence as she reports, sheepishly, "Well, I wasn't actually here for what happened, but it was a real big story. The personal student of Princess Celestia, becoming a princess herself! And then there's..."

She shook her head, then took a seat at the table. She eyed a muffin, only taking it when you waved your hand, offering it to her. It would be impolite to eat all these confections at once... not to mention unhealthy. Sorry, pink one. Amethyst took a bite. As she chewed, you asked, "Does this have anything to do with the dime bit novels I've seen in the bookstore?"

Nodding, Amethyst walked behind he desk, withdrew a book with her mouth, and then walked back, where she softly set it down. You couldn't help but grin at the book's cover, titled, "The Stellar Princess and the Xenborg Menace", accompanied by artwork of a suspiciously familiar-looking alicorn pony with a shiny suit and fishbowl helmet facing off with a monster that you could only describe as the Creature from the Black Lagoon if it also had cybernetic implants. Amethyst used her hooves to flip the book to the last page, after what looked like advertisement drawings for other Stellar Princess dime bit novels, as well as other products, amusingly. Your ad space here.

But what followed these ads was a public service announcements, of a sorts. You see what has got to be the royal seal of one Twilight Princess, her cutie mark surrounded by artistry and slogans, but what catches your eye is your name and face, and a block of text, reading, "Let it be known, by degree of the Princess of Friendship, that the story of this lost soul, " (your name), " be remembered. A stranger, was lost in another world, ours, knowing nothing of ponies or of Equestria. A stranger, scared and alone, was exiled by both fear and a desperate desire to return home. Should the Human Exile be found, the Princess of Friendship will want to know right away."

A million questions race through your head right now. You lick your lips, suddenly feeling very dry. Breathing, and finding the words to say, you pick the most pressing of your questions and implore, sincerely, even as you see a violet shape out of the corner of your eye entering the inn, "What kind of title is 'Princess of Friendship'?"

Author's Note

It's been a long time, hasn't it?