Pybro

by Lunatic God

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Human, Team Fortress
Length: 1280

Zecora has a new assistant, and he loves fire!

Don't worry, this guy actually listens to Smokey the Bear and doesn't start forest fires. However! The same can't be said for the people he sets on fire.

Anyways, please welcome the Pyro!

*Crickets*

*Guy coughing*

Published 2023-02-22 19:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-22 19:50:00 UTC

"Hudda Hudda Huh!" - Pyro, group fortification the second

Author's Note

I love this new universe i've made

"Hudda Hudda Huh!" - Pyro, group fortification the second

The timberwolf barked at the man in a retardant suit before charging at him. Once the beast got close, the man fired a puff of flames at him as he sidestepped, the wooden wolf skidding with a roar of pain as its entire body burst into flames, but flipped over a root and smashed into the trunk of a tree. The man quickly whipped out a flare gun before jumping and firing it onto the ground behind him, causing a small explosion that he used to fly through the air, rapidly closing the small distance as he pulled out an axe wrapped in barbed wire, raising it above his head and slamming it into the beast as he landed, extinguishing the timberwolf with a loud sizzle as it burst into many small sticks and twigs.

He sidestepped again as soon as the timberwolf's buddy pounced and landed at where the man just was with a loud thud. He whipped out his flamethrower and spewed flames at the beast, backpedaling to stay out of the reach of his maw and claws, quickly reducing it to a pile of charred wood.

"Mm-hmm," his muffled voice stated with a nod, stowing his flamethrower and placing his hands on his hips as he admired his work. After a moment, he turned and started the return to Ponyville.

"Hm-hm hm-hm hrm hmm hmm..." He hummed, skipping off into the trees.

"I appreciate your assistance," Zecora told him, bowing her head in thanks. "Those wolves were quite bad for business."

"Nrmm mmhmph," he replied, giving a thumbs up.

"Say, if you would be so kind, I have another proposition for you in mind."

"Mmrph mrruh," he replied, squatting down to her eye-level and resting his head on his palms.

"I have a shipment of ingredients arriving by train, and the trip there and back is always difficult," she explained. “Perhaps you could go instead, and save this old zebra the back pain as a result.”

“Mrr mrrph?” He asked, lowering his hands and tapping his wrist with a finger.

“Whenever it’s most convenient, as the lifetime of these ingredients is very lenient,” she told him with a smile.

He rose with a bounce. He pointed at his eyes with the index and middle finger of one hand, pointed at her, then made an L shape with one hand and placed the palm of his other hand on the thumb, rotating the first hand forwards, before finally turning and exiting the hut, heading off to town.

A bell jingled as Pyro skipped into Sugarcube Corner with a burlap sack in one hand, approaching the counter.

“Helloing, Pyro!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing to the counter with a wide smile. “What’ll it be?”

“Mmph murr, hrrm,” he told her.

“Zecora’s usual? Okie-dokie-lokie!” She bounced off before quickly returning with a couple of blueberry muffins dusted with spicy Tahin and placing them on the counter. In one move, Pyro dropped five bits on the counter and scooped up the muffins.

“Mrr Mrmm!” He stated before turning and walking away.

“No problem!” Pinkie replied with a wave. “Come back soon!”

The bell jingled again as he exited, but a rainbow blur suddenly flew past him, making him a human beyblade for a moment. He shook the dizziness from his head as a familiar face approached.

“Stupid Rainbow,” Scout mumbled as he panted heavily, shining with sweat as he stopped beside Pyro.

“Muh?” Pyro questioned, tilting his head.

“Huh?” Scout looked at him. “Oh. Sup Pyro?”

“Mmph mm muh?” Pyro asked, gesturing in the direction of the already gone rainbow trail.

“Oh that,” he looked forward. “I challenged miss “I’m the fastest” to a race, ‘cause nobody’s faster ‘n me.” He pointed accusingly in her direction. “She’s definitely cheatin’, though. It’s obvious!”

“Anyways, gotta go,” Scout told him, before sprinting off. “See ya later!” He shouted behind him.

Pyro shook his head while humming with disapproval as he turned in the opposite direction and head off.

Pyro entered Zecora’s hut, his left hand hidden behind his back.

“You have returned rather slow,” Zecora said, approaching him. “Do you have my ingredients in tow?”

“Mm-hmm,” he said with a nod, holding out the bag.

“Excellent,” She took the bag in her mouth and trotted off, placing it in her storeroom before returning.

“What are you hiding behind your back?” She asked, tilting her head.

“Mm-mmm!” He exclaimed as he showed his hand.

“Th-that is my favorite snack,” she stuttered after a moment as her eyes locked onto them, clearly surprised as she licked her lips. She stepped forward and began eating from his hand. He placed his free hand on her head, gently petting her mohawk.

“You are very nith,” she complimented through her food. “I am very glad you graythed my eyth.”

He mumbled what she assumed was a thanks as she took another bite.

*Bang bang bang*

They both jumped at the sudden knocking.

“Pyro!” Scout shouted, banging on the door a few more times. “I know yer in dere!”

Pyro sighed, turning and walking to the door.

“My muffinth,” she mumbled.

“Dere you are!” Scout exclaimed happily as the door opened, raising his arms for a moment as if preparing for a hug. “Soldier was too busy uh, posin’ for dat bea-youtiful miss Rarity so she could make ‘im some clothes, so he wuz hopin’ you could come see ‘im at the uh… Boo… boo-tick? Uh, where miss Rarity make dresses ‘n stuff,” Scout told Pyro, pointing a thumb behind him. “It’ll just be me, you, Soldier, miss Rarity, and miss Sweetie Belle since the cmc meetin’ ain’t today.” He counted off each attendee on his fingers.

“I am pretty fond of the Pyro,” Zecora started, poking her head around Pyro. “How soon is he required to go?”

“Oh hey dere, pretty lady,” he said, trying to rizz her up with a smirk. “Uh, soon. I dunno. Today, at least. Hey, maybe you could come, miss uh…”

“Zecora,” he finished.

“That, yeah. I bet Soldier’ll be stoked ta see a freakin’ talkin’ zebra, ‘specially one as cute as you,” he finished, doing finger guns. She smiled warmly.

“As much as I would love to go, the answer is sadly no,” she told him. “So much to do in so little time, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, looking away in disappointment as his arms dropped limply. “If I had a nickel fah every time I heard dat, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it's weird dat it’s happened twice.” After a moment, he looked at Pyro.

“Anyway, see ya dere, Pyro,” Scout told the other merc as he began backing away. “Miss Pinkie’s bringin’ da cupcakes!” He smiled and pointed with both hands, before turning and jogging away.

Pyro watched him go, before a nudge brought his gaze down to the zebra.

“Go ahead,” Zecora told him. “Go see your friends.”

“”Muh hudda huh–” He started, gesturing towards the storeroom.

“Do not worry about me,” she interrupted. “Putting stuff away is pretty easy.”

“Mm,” he said, backing out the door after a moment. Both hands formed a fist with outstretched pinkies and thumbs before he moved his hands in her direction, then formed full fists as he crossed his wrists before breaking the cross, saying ‘stay safe’ in sign language, then gave her a double thumbs up, turning and following Scout.

“Have fun!” She exclaimed, waving until he disappeared behind the trees. “And do not return late, for dinner may go to waste!”