Author's Note
This fic was originally in "Script" format, but I had to tweek it for this site.
Hope you enjoy!!!
The Rant
Within the TARDIS console room, a ginger Unicorn, or "Ging-a-corn" as some call him, found who he was looking for... that magnificent brown Earth Pony, from a distant universe. Born as a humanoid, although he'd be insulted if you called him that. Insisting "Time Lords" came before humans.
The Doctor, this "Time Lord" turned pony, was in his usual position, tinkering with the controls of his Time Machine.
Tick Tock approached his new, and one of his first, friend. "Doctor... Derpy mentioned that your over 900 years old... so... I was wondering... in all that time... you must have... you know..."
The Doctor smiled boastfully, "Yes, I've learned quite a lot of things in my long life." Completely missing the point of Tick Tock's question.
Tick Tock groans. "No Doctor, I mean you... you know what, knowing you, it is extremely likely that this could go on for several hours. So I'll just come out in say it." The Ging-a-corn inhaled deeply, preparing himself. Before forcing the question out as bluntly as possible. "How do you show a mare you're romantically interested in them?
The Doctor sputters, completely abandoning his work, to stare at Tick Tock in horror, "WHY YOU ASKING ME!?!"
Tick Tock pushes, all but demanding to know the secret. "You're 900 years old. Surely you've had relationships in that time."
The Doctor stammers, nervous and awkward, despite asking more embarrassing questions of his friends. "I-I w-wouldn't call them relationships." He then loudly mutters. Clearly wanting to be heard, despite the mutterings. "Although I was tricked into a few marriages.
Tick Tock tilts his head, "tricked?
The Doctor huffed, before going off on a tangent. "My first wife, this lovely Aztec Woman, well we were getting along so well, and I thought she was just being friendly. Until she suddenly announced we're married!!! Apparently, she had been walking me through the rituals of a marriage ceremony. It was quite rude of her not to tell me that ahead of time. And she wasn't even the only one to trick me like that!!! Human women, I tell you, but you ponies are no better. Why didn't anyone warn me about jars of sugar cubes! And by Rassillion! Why'd that woman, errr mare, say yes! We'd only known each other a few weeks, from her perspective, days by mine. It's not fair I tell you. All these people, and now ponies, throwing themselves at me. Refusing to take no for an answer."
Tick Tock just stares at the Doctor. His face blank as usual. Before declaring, "That's it, I'm leaving the TARDIS." And turning to go back to his room. No true intention of leaving, but he couldn't be around the Doctor in that moment.
Unfortunately, the Doctor, not taking the hint, nor understanding that Tick Tock wasn't being literal, chased after him.
The Doctor eeped in a clear panic. "LEAVING, what for?"
Tick Tock half joked... although was also half sincere, as it just wasn't fair. "Because I hate you now."
The Doctor huffed, getting upset himself. After all, it wasn't like he ASKED to be pursued. "Honestly, it's not like I even wanted those marriages! These blasted females just can't keep their hands off me!!! Out of all the lifeforms I've known, only one respected the fact I'm ace! And you know what, EVEN SHE WANTED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME... Although that one I didn't mind so much, since she respected my boundaries, and never tried to trick me into marriage."
Tick Tock stops in his tracks. Looking at the Doctor. "You're Ace?" Feeling a little better at the news... though not sure why it made a difference. It just made the Doctor seem less ungrateful... and more like a true Victim of unwanted advances.
The Doctor gave another huff. "I only discovered the term recently. Humans do love inventing new words, for concepts that have existed since the dawn if time... and I guess, so do ponies... Actually, if I think about it. Most Time Lords are Ace."
Tick Tock's interest was peeked. "How can an entire species be Ace? Do you reproduce asexually?"
The Doctor blushes, "Well, you see... that's... THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!"
Tick Tock got a teasing edge to his monotoned voice. Such a hint of emotion, he was pleased to see the Doctor picked up on. Tick Tock had suffered from a paralyzing venom, in his foalhood. It was a miracle he could move at all. However, it left him unable to show much emotion... so he appreciated the Doctor's ability to read him... even if the Doctor couldn't always pick up on the younger Stallions meaning... it was nice when he did.
"Oh No Doctor," Tick Tock teased. "After all the embarrassing questions you drowned me under. It's my turn." He insisted.
The Doctor huffed his huffiest huff yet. "You didn't even answer most of those questions."
Tick Tock got a stern hint to his monotone, "Doctor." Conveying how serious he was, just from one word. He wanted to know, and know he would. Tick Tock might not be as annoying about it, but he was just as curious as the Doctor, himself.
The Doctor growled, knowing, from that tone, he'd have to answer. So the ancient Time Lord snapped. "Let's see how eager you're species is for that, after a billion years of procreation through genetic engineering."
Tick Tock blinked, a touch confused by the term. "Genetic... engineering? I read about genes in the TARDIS library, but those can be... engineered?"
The Doctor, still grumpy, grumbled. "Not by most lifeforms, but yes, my race could. A few million years before We even discovered Time Travel, we perfected genetic engineering. Children were created in mass, trained for specific roles from birth, with no parents, but rather were "raised", if you could call it that, by their Clutch. And if that childhood sounds like an impersonal hell, it's because it was! People treated me like a freak, just because I took one of these children under my wing..."
The Doctor slowly got less angry, becoming more wistful as he remembered moments he treasured... wrapped up in so much pain. "She called me "Grandfather", she loved that title, ever since I read an ancient book to her... about families of old... I had been considering adopting again... with my current partner... before... never even talked to her about it."
Tick Tock sighs, feeling guilty for pushing... there was obviously a lot of pain in those memories... he could only assume things didn't end well for this child, the Doctor had adopted. "I'm sorry Doctor. I hadn't intended to bring up such bad memories..."
The Doctor sighed, sounding wistful. "That's alright Tick Tock. It's just rare I talk about these things. Most of my other companions aren't pushy enough to force an answer out of me... and when they do, I normally lie... but there's something special about you and Derpy... you're more then just companions. Rose would have loved you."
Tick Tock fidgets, but again, doesn't know why. He imagines some secret meaning in that phrase... and can't help but picture himself in a herd with the Doctor, Derpy, and this mysterious 'Rose'. But quickly squashed those thoughts. To Tartarus with his 20 something year old mind. It was still very much dictated by hormones. And the Doctor just confessed to being Ace... but that didn't mean he wasn't interested in relationships... "Bad Tick Tock," the Ging-a-corn thought to himself. "don't go shipping the Doctor. He's probably not interested in you that way."
Outloud the ginger said, "That's ah, well, thank you Doctor.... you know, there are laws against tricking Stallions into marriage. I don't know about your universe, but surely your mares have laws to protect their stallions."
The Doctor waved his hoof, almost dismissively. "Gender is optional for Time Lords, and humans have a patriarchy. In more recent decades, their females have become their political equals, like your Stallions, but they are treated like your stallions."
Tick Tock tilted his head. "Fascinating. So they have reverse gender norms?"
The Doctor Shrugs, looking back at his console room, longingly. Growing bored of the conversation, but still rambling. "Hmmmmmm, I wouldn't go that far, as it's not a one to one comparison. And gender roles have changed for humans. But most Human males aren't allowed to be as... sensitive, as your Stallions."
Tick Tock repeats, "Fascinating." Eager to hear more.
The Doctor sighed, catching himself. "Sorry, seems I went off on a tangent."
Tick Tock shrugs. "I like your tangents. I find them fascinating." Hence why He was saying that word so much... he needed a thesaurus.
The Doctor chuckles, "That's a first. Most people just tell me to shut up."
Tick Tock ponders on that, "Hummm, maybe it's a pony thing. I do find it fascinating, these cultural differences you express between humans and ponies."
The Doctor's chuckles continue. "I think it's just a you thing. It's something deeply rooted in you... your boundless curiosity."
Tick Tock blushes. "Urrr, huh, hum. thank you Doctor." His hormonal brain acting up. Reading far too much into things, he told himself.
The Doctor bounces a bit. Suddenly acting cheerful. "Aaaaanyway, any idea how we started this tangent."
Tick Tock informed, not missing a beat. "I believe this conversation started by me asking for your advice... but I fear you're own experiences, have left you unable to offer assistance."
The Doctor mutters, too quiet to hear. "Another thing I love about you. You're actually able to keep up... there is no distracting you."
Tick Tock strains his ears. "Pardon? I didn't catch that Doctor."
The Doctor gives a more nervous chuckle, "Suppose not. Come on, let's go fine Derpy, I bet she could help you!"
Tick Tock eeps, "that-That's alright. How about you help me with one of my inventions instead? Been a few days since we last tinkered together."
The Doctor chuckles, and mutters, once again too quiet to be heard. He could be silent when he wanted to be. "And it's cute how you think you can distract me."
The Doctor (louder) declares, "lead the way!!!"
They began walking off, towards the work shop the Doctor gave his Tick Tock.
The Doctor gives one last silent mutter, as he looked at Tick Tock through his peripheral vision. "Rose really would have loved you."
