The Running Shadow... that's also really annoying.

by StreakTheFox

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Crossover, Sex, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 11068

An ominous shadow is seen running through ponyville annoying everypony in sight. mainly Rainbow Dash

The Shadow...
A dark entity that has been plagueing the quiet town of Ponyville for several days now...
...is really freaking annoying the manure out of everypony there, especially Rainbow Dash. But as the mane 6 try to get together to catch this trolling creature, what mysteries will they inevitably uncover?

Will they find the origins of the creature?
Will they figure out why it retreats to the Everfree Forest when it's done trolling ponies?
And will they be able to outsmart it?
Maybe... maybe...
...
...but I have yet to meet a mare that can outsmart the Bonk!

(Pssst, the shadow is the Scout. TF2 crossover peeps!)

Published 2012-09-25 13:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-07 16:38:58 UTC

I need to kick its flank!

-I need to kick its flank!-

It was Night Time in Ponyville, and everything was peaceful. All the foals had gone to bed, all the night clubs and convenience stores were about to close down, and even Twilight Sparkle had gone to bed from a late night of studying. The only sound that could be heard was the light breeze that swept through the air, and the occasional cat that found itself stumbling into a garbage can. Stupid cats.

But really, Ponyville was in a state of harmony at the time. Even Luna's exceptionally wondrous sky made every seem so calm, so serene, just begging for something to come in and ruin the harmony.

And that's exactly what happened. Who'da thunk it?

But anyways, this mysterious figured suddenly sped out from the Everfree Forest, just like it had done for the past several days. It was covered in a jet black cloth, concealing its entire body save for the two legs that propelled it at incredibly high speeds. The legs though were not wrapped in black, actually harbored a pair of white socks and what seemed like running shoes. The legs were also relatively skinny, yet all this seems to point to 'the shadow' being able to move pretty fast, don't it?

Okay, so you get the idea of what's running through town. Why it came from Everfree, heck I don't know, but maybe we'll come across that later. Anyways, there the shadow goes, just running through town aimlessly as if it was a chicken with its head cut off. As it rounded a corner it came up to Ponyville's library, and then slowed to a near stop as it approached. It tiptoed to the door, making sure to make no noise at it slowly pulled the door open and slipped inside...

What, you expected the door to be closed? It's Ponyville, burglars almost never happen there! Unless you want to count Rainbow Dash as a burglar, but she only wanted to “borrow” a book, so... Okay, so Ponyville library might actually need to lock its doors at night. Shut up. Now where was I?

Oh yes! The shadow crept in further, going up the stairs that led to Twilight's bedroom. He again slipped silently past the door, creeping up to her bedside. Just then it pulled out something, a long, metal object that resembled a baseball bat. In fact it was a baseball bat, but that's besides the point, this is suspense building here, got it memorized?

Ahem. Twilight Sparkle was sleeping soundly, a big, goofy smile on her face accompanied by a blush as she was in the middle of a pleasant dream, one most likely involving her getting a big kiss from Celestia. We all know Twilight has the hots for her teacher. Don't deny it. But what she didn't expect was for a sudden creak and a slight shift in her bed to jolt her out of her slumber. She leaned up, poking her head out of her covers as her eyes darted left to right.

She wondered briefly if she imagined it, which she certainly wanted to do, since that would allow her to go back to bed. But a sudden tapping of something hard against her head drew her attention behind her.

And there she saw it. Her eyes went wide as she froze in place, mouth agape as she attempted to process what she was seeing. The Shadow, just as Rainbow Dash had described it to her, looking straight at her while standing crouched down against the head side of her bed frame. It stared at her through the pitch black holes over what she could only assume would be the face, and she could only quiver in fear as it spoke its true words of terror to her...

“Yo wassup.”

Twilight's mind reeled for some sort of logical move. First off, there was a dark, possibly deadly, but definitely annoying (if you quoted Rainbow Dash) figure poking her head with a metal bat. But what was it saying? “Yo”? “Wassup”? Was it trying to say “yoyo was supper”? Was it speaking some sort of completely alien language to her? She didn't know, she had no way of knowing. Only Rainbow Dash and a few other ponies had ever come into contact with the thing, but with how imposing it looked to her, she could only think of one thing to do.

And no, it wasn't to break out into song. Lunatics...

She screamed. Loud. Very, very loud. So loud in fact that it probably woke up all the ponies in the homes directly around the library. Needless to say, it made Spike jump out of his bed and cling onto the ceiling like he was some cat. I kid you not, he was hanging from the ceiling with his claws. From the ceiling! I got a picture of it too! Freaking hilarious.

So Spike's hanging from the ceiling, clearly stunned, Twilight Sparkle is screaming her lungs out, clearly nuts, and as for the shadow? He just pointed at her with what I can only assume is a hand and one out of five fingers while laughing like a senile high school student. How quaint. Personally, I think he was trying to perform some sort of mating dance for Twilight, I mean, why else would he approach her in bed like that? Who knows, maybe where the shadow comes from laughing shows of how masculine you are.

But the shadow kept laughing and leaning his body back and forth, almost falling off of the bed post from the whole thing. Apparently he thought he was being very funny, but Twilight was still screaming her lungs away. Too much more screaming and her lungs would give out faster than a influenza-ridden old man with lung cancer smoking a full pack of cigarettes in a small, enclosed room with musty old furniture and a floor that hasn't been swept in 2 years during the middle of the dust bowl.

…Too soon? Oh well. Bite me.

So eventually Spike was able to pry himself off of the ceiling and come rushing to Twilight's aid wielding a scroll he just happened to pull out of nowhere. Spike is the new Rainbow Dash, huh? More like the new Pinkie Pie! So then he begins to assault the shadow with it while saying stuff like “Go away!” and “I'm not gonna let you hurt Twilight!” and stuff of the sort. Loyal, but pretty ignorant of the situation.

The shadow notices eventually after wondering what was patting at his hip, and looks to see the young dragon. He pauses for a moment, but then starts laughing again, even harder as well. He kept this up for another minute, all the while Spike kept whacking away at him and Twilight's mouth still kept producing her own form of music. Very, very annoying and migraine-inducing music. Like, seriously, is her off switch broken or something? She must not like being snuck up on by thing wearing black cloaks in the night while sleeping in bed.

“Hey knucklehead you ain't gonna win!” The shadow said to Spike as his laughs began subsiding. He quickly swooped his free arm down and yanked the scroll away from Spike, causing him to stumble forward, attempt to correct himself, and then fall backwards onto his rear. The shadow took that opportunity to begin hitting Spike over the head with the scroll over and over like some whack-a-mole target that wouldn't go back in its hole.

“You like that lizard boy?” The shadow said mockingly as he continued beating on the poor reptile. I mean the scroll didn't harm him or anything, it's just very demeaning. How would you like it if some random ghost/shadow/demon/thing started hitting you over the head with a rolled up scroll while mocking you and there was probably nothing you could do about it? Ya see my point?

“HEY!” Twilight suddenly screamed, getting the shadow's attention. It seemed as though he had gotten so used to her stretching her lungs to infinity that he didn't quite notice that she had stopped screaming before. “You leave him alone!”

If her voice didn't symbolize being utterly pissed, I didn't know what would. Seriously, she sounded like a mare who just walked into her daughter's bedroom while she was being sexually harassed by some brat from school. Only Spike isn't Twilight's daughter, nor is Spike a girl, so... yeah. Way to go Twilight for knowing how to properly place Spike in your feelings. (moron)

Twilight attempted to blast the shadow away, but the shadow moved aside right in time to allow her magic beam thing to make a pretty nice hole in the wall, one about the size of a pan you would use to cook Rice-a-roni. She shot another one, but again missed, and again, and again still, in fact she kept trying to hit the shadow so many times with the shadow dodging each shot so laughably easy that her room began to resemble swiss cheese in a way. Except with wood and not like, ya know, cheese. Seeing the destruction the lavender pony was bringing to her own home, the shadow couldn't help but rub it in her face a bit.

“Yeah a lot of good that horn did ya!” it said after sidestepping another blast. “Maybe you should try casting a spell that doesn't miss.”

Before Twilight could reply, or try to blast at it with another spell (yeah we all know how well that would go), the shadow quickly leaped out of the doorway and then out of the library all together, chuckling as it did. At first Twilight was angry, and stayed that way for a bit while longer until she realized that in reality, she didn't know what the buck just happened. Some figure in a blanket just waltzed into her home in the dead of night, tapped her head with a metal bat, said something about supper, and to top it all off just hit her Spike over the head with a scroll over and over while laughing like a complete loon.

“Spike,” Twilight said with an abnormal calm. “Can you please pinch me?”

“W-wah?” Spike looked up at Twilight while rubbing his head where the scroll was whacked against him repeatedly. “Why would you want me to pinch you?”

“Just to make sure I'm not dreaming, Spike...” Twilight sighed hard, closing her eyes and lowering her head to think some. Okay, if the creature, shadow, thing wanted to hurt us, it would have done so. So what's it after?

Christmas lights. I'm calling it right now... Christmas lights.

Before Twilight could push her thoughts deeper into the rabbit hole and probably uncover some sort of conspiracy against the throne of Equestria (because we all know how many times that happens in most fanfics), Rainbow Dash decides to bust in through her bedroom window. No, the window was not open, and no, she did not open it. She busted through. BUSTED. THROUGH. As in like glass flying everywhere like it's a Pinkie Pie party only they replaced the streamers and confetti with bits of glass.

“WHERE IS HE!?” She blurted out frantically as she yanked her head left and right, scanning through the room as fast as equinely possible.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight cried out as she shielded herself from the falling glass bits.. “My windows! You could have seriously hurt me or Spike busting through the glass like that!” Of course this is My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic! Nopony ever gets seriously hurt in the show, except for that one pony that got all bandaged up in the hospital... and the one with cancer...

...You know what I mean.

“No time! Sorry but I gotta find him! I know I saw him come into this library!”

Him, eh? Well, that's certainly some new information, but I'm pretty sure Twilight Sparkle, being the incredibly intelligent pony that she is, not only figured out the gender by herself but also knows exactly what Dash is talking abo-

“Who?”

Nevermind....

“Twilight, Dash is probably talking about that big scary thing that was just in here,” Spike said as he wiped a few shards of glass off of himself. Don't worry, he's got dragon scales, he's fine.

“Oh, that,” Twilight sighed as she looked to her bedroom door that was still open. “You just missed, uh, him I guess, go out of my bedroom door laughing like a maniac. He probably left the library already.”

“He got you sleeping, didn't he?” Dash asked, as if she was suspecting something.

“Yes, why?” Twilight asked looking up to her friend floating beside her, and watched as her face turned to one of frantic rage, to then one of concern as she asked her the question that you just read, and then to one of her best deadpans yet.

“He bonked you on the head with his bat to wake you up, and then said something like “yo wassup” to you, didn't he?”

“Uuuhh... yes?”

Rainbow Dash facehoofed as she grunted loudly. “UGH! He did the exact same thing to me too! I HATE that guy!”

“What exactly IS he Dash?” Twilight asked as she cocked her head.

“I dunno! Honestly, I thought he was a minotaur by the way he walked on two legs, but then I saw his hands, and they aren't fur-covered. They're bare, and not like they were shaved, like it had no hair at all! Like, ever!”

“That sounds... odd,” Twilight rubbed her chin as she looked down in thought. “Did you get to see the color of its skin, or perhaps scales or something?”

“Hey!” Spike spoke up, not liking the implications that Twilight was giving. And I totally agree! Racist Twilight is bad Twilight!

“What? I just want to know if it might be some sort of other reptile or something!” she said in her defense.

“Yeah, like there's sentient reptiles other than dragons...” Spike mumbled as he crossed his arms. He's got a point, Twilight, you're just getting stereotypical because those dragons Spike met weren't nice and you had to go save his little rear end from becoming a punching bag. But, again, thick scales, so he would've been fine. But do you ever listen? Nooooooo.

“Okay, Dash,” Twilight began as she ignored Spike. “At first I really didn't believe you were being serious about this shadow thing. I mean, all this time I thought it was either you seeing things, or perhaps somepony playing a prank on you.” Yeah, pranked by Pinkie Pie, and by pranked I mean slipped a hard dose of some sort of drug... can I have some?

“I told you!” Dash practically screamed in Twilight's face. It was at that point that Twilight could see Dash's bloodshot eyes through the darkness of the night. “I gotta find that guy, so which way did he go already!?”

“Dash... how long have you been awake?” Twilight asked, her voice sounding concerned as her face took up a similarly themed look.

“Um, a few days, but that doesn't matter!” She spatted quickly as she looked her head left and right out of habit, even though she was still in the room and her left and right were just walls inside the room. “Please, you gotta help me! I can't let this thing show me up like it does and constantly bug the living daylights out of me all the time! I gotta kick its flank, I gotta show it who's the boss so it will stop taunting me, please!” Dash's voice made it seem like she was about to cry. “Please please please, I'll do anything, I don't care if he has to hit me again for me to find him!”

Okay, on second thought, perhaps I don't want what Pinkie Pie is slipping in Dash's cupcakes. Yeesh. But it sounds like Rainbow Dash has a serious troll problem on her hands. And oh, what's that? Oh it's one of my favorite words coming in to play! Why hello 'impromptu', how are you today?

“Think fast chuckle-nuts!” came a voice from outside the window. The next moment later a baseball shot through the window and hit Rainbow Dash square on the head, making the word 'BONK!' and starry swirls appear over her head for a couple seconds as she fell to the floor in a daze.

“Holy Guacamole!” Spike yelled out in surprise.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight gasped, before turning her head to the window when she heard more of that familiar laughing outside.

“Ahahahahahaha! Ahah, you got owned!” The shadow said between laughs as it stood outside of the library, holding a wooden bat in its hands this time.

Dash's head spun around for a few more seconds before she finally shook it off, and then had the very consuming effect of rage encompass every fabric of her thoughts. She growled loudly, her teeth showing through her intense scowl she was giving to nothing in particular in front of her as her wings flared up, tensing for the inevitable flight. A quick scream to the heaves, and she was out of the window faster than Fluttershy if she saw a bunch of hurt baby bunnies about to be crushed by a falling tree that's also on fire. Fire makes everything better.

The shadow though was quick to react, and ran away from the butt-hurt pegasus. Dash flew as fast as she could across the streets of Ponyville, and was actually catching up to the shadow For how fast its legs carried it, the thing still had to run on the ground, and Rainbow Dash's flying could easily beat any land-based creature in speed.

An obstacle appeared ahead, a random cart in the middle of the road. Rainbow Dash didn't know why the cart was there, but she didn't care. She knew the Shadow was going to either go around it, or over it. One of the two, and according to her flight school dropout educated guess, she would reach him right at one of those times. She envisioned herself going the opposite direction around the cart, impacting the shadow head on with her front hooves. She also thought about following it over the cart were it to jump, thus grabbing it in mid-air and slamming it into the dirt. Whatever it did, she knew how to counter it, and she was ready to act at the drop of a stylish hat.

Okay, let's take a vote here. Who thinks Rainbow Dash is going to catch the shadow? Anyone? Oh, I see a couple hands, okay.

Now, how about her failing miserably and ending up getting humiliated? Oh, that's quite a few I see!

But what if the shadow turned around, revealed itself to be Derpy Hooves, and then glomped Rainbow Dash while assaulting her with kisses? Anyone? Any takers? Hmmm... alright, let's see what happens!

As it turns out the Shadow bent its knees down at the last moment, launching itself over the cart. This is it! I got him now! Dash thought a she flew straight at it. But she as her hooves were about to collide with its back, the shadow somehow jumped AGAIN in mid-air and did a complete 180, turning around even as it lowered a fish wrapped in newspapers in front of her.

WHACK!

The fish hit her square in the face, making her curse loudly before losing control and flying straight into a bail of hay. Up at the corner of the screen a little red rectangle popped up with a little fish symbol that said “Scout >o x1 Rainbow Dash.” Seconds later Rainbow Dash emerged again, screaming out in rage and darting at the shadow once more.

“I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FLANK SO HARD YOUR MOM IS GONNA GET A BUTT CRAMP!” she yelled out as she flew at him, staring deathly daggers at the figure with a rag on it. The shadow, though, wasn't moving, in fact it seemed to her to be taking its time drinking a yellow soda can with some writing on it. But dash didn't pay attention to the can itself, only the gall that the thing had for actually taking a break to take a drink! The nerve of that guy! Why I too would be appalled at such a cocky move.

Dash didn't stop to think though, she just went straight at him, hoping with her entire being that she would catch him before he ran away. And for a split second, it looked like she was going to. She had her hooves right to its cloth, just a millisecond away from making contact. And for that brief moment in time, a feeling of happiness and glee spread through rainbow's body...

...And then it went away. Abruptly, in fact, as she went right through him and into the wall of somepony's house, crashing through it and into what was apparently the dining room, if the large table she smashed into was any indication. Out of every feeling she felt from the pain in her head and neck to the increasing desire to do something that would get her thrown in jail for the rest of her life to him, the most overcoming feeling she felt was confusion. How could she just fly through it like that? Dash poked her head out of the hole she made in the house, her adrenaline pumping too hard for her to feel the intense throbbing under her scalp. The shadow was there, looking straight at her with its fish-bat still in its arms.

“You can't hit what ain't there!” it claimed as it began to run away form her down the street, a blur appearing behind it that Rainbow Dash noticed wasn't there before. “Wananunununu....”

She stared at the shadow as it ran away, jaw to the ground (or in this case, the bits of debris laying on the ground) and the feeling of defeat coming over her. She couldn't help but feel the tears come to her eyes as she began to sob quietly. Rainbow Dash, the fastest, most agile and overall speediest pegasus in Equestria, completely humiliated without any sort of payback obtained by some bipedal freak with a bed cloth hanging on its head.

She lowered her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she ultimately gave up, simply hoping that sleep would come quickly to her so she could try to forget that all that ever happened. But as fate would have it, that was the exact time that her adrenaline ran out, and the intense throbbing in her head made itself noticeable. No sleep for you for a while it seems, Rainbow Dash. You mad?

“I'm a freakin blur here!” the shadow called out from a distance before disappearing into the trees on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest.

Oh... she mad. She real mad.

You're not gay, you're a lesbo. Hahah.

You're not gay, you're a lesbo. Hahah.

-You're not gay, you're a lesbo. Hahah.-

“Yeah! That's right, I did it!” Rainbow Dash boasted as she flew past the stands of the Cloudsdale stadium, hoof pumping nonstop after her flawless display. “I'm the best, the best!”

Everypony in the stands was cheering wildly, rooting Rainbow Dash's name, throwing gifts and confetti, while some even tossed in notes declaring their love and desire to marry her. Even mares tossed stuff in! Who knew!

Dash was surrounded by applause, and she was loving it. Over to her right she saw all of her friends on a high balcony, screaming out in joy with Fluttershy being the loudest of them all. Over to her left she saw Princess Celestia, nodding approvingly at her while a warm smile dawned her face. And behind her was the biggest surprise of all...

Spitfire and Soarin, both flying over beside each other carrying a wonderbolt uniform in their hooves. Dash froze, her mouth agape in shock and amazement. It was just like in her wildest dreams... Winning a big competition, Getting cheered on by her friends, Celestia herself watching her, and most importantly of all, proving her worth to become a wonderbolt. The two wonderbolts in her focus were flying closer, bright smiles on their faces with their goggles up even to reveal their eyes, which showed just how proud and amazed they were of the rainbow pegasus.

Dash was nervous, very nervous, but also extremely overwhelmed. She could hardly contain her euphoric state as the two wonderbolts came right up to her... and flew straight past her.

Dash froze, and she noticed a shift in the audience's applause. The chanting of her name had faded away, and some other name had arisen from it. Her heart sank as the words came into focus, and she dreaded what she would find behind her. She looked to her left, her friends cheering at something behind her, as if she didn't exist anymore. She looked to her right, and then noticed Princess Celestia actually clapping; only it wasn't to her, but to what everypony else was focused on.

She couldn't help herself anymore. She turned her head slowly, her excited and boastful demeanor completely wiped away as she gazed upon what was the center of everypony's attention. And there, standing on a lone cloud in the middle of the arena, was the shadow.

“SHA-DOW! SHA-DOW! SHA-DOW!” the crowd cheered clearly as the wonderbolts brought up the uniform in front of the bipedal figure. It held its arms out high, holding his metal bat in one hand while the other was bare. He seemed to be showing off himself, while still covered in the cloak. And then he looked at her, and she knew that he was smiling mischievously from ear to ear under that blanket.

He stared for several more seconds before he lowered one arm down as the other came up directly in front of him, extending as far up and forward as it could. And there, just as it lowered its hand, she could see a reddish glow in the eye holes as it said one word to her.

“BOINK!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Rainbow Dash screamed, bolting upright out of her bead.

Hahahaha! What, you thought that was all real? Do you seriously think I would jump around so erratically from one situation to another one totally different like that? C'mon guys, you shoulda seen it coming. I hope you did, because if you didn't... well, Dash may not have been the only thing the scout bonked pretty hard on the head.

Anyways, so Rainbow Dash there was pretty distraught, all covered in sweat and what-not. She looked around her room, trying to make sure it was all just a dream.

Ya know what I hate? Those times when you dream something and then you wake up, but you're actually just dreaming you wake up, and then you wake up from that but not really, and it keeps just going on and and on like this sentence is. Ticks ya the heck off, don't it? It's so confusing!

Bah, I digress. So, after taking about five whole minutes to compose herself, Dash slowly got out of bed and made her way to her main room. Deciding she wasn't hungry, probably because of the bad dream she had, she lazily flew out of her house to try to clear her mind. As she looked up at the sky, she noticed it was already well into the afternoon, with the sun over three-fourths of the way to setting. Way to go Rainbow, ya slept in! Well, she always does that... nevermind.

As she flew to Ponyville, she raised her hoof up to her head, but winced as she touched it. She could feel a lump still there under her hair ,but it probably wasn't big enough for anypony to notice. Still, it hurt, and she knew just who to blame for it. She gritted her teeth and grunted angrily as the memories of the last several days passed through her mind. But as she did so, just like she did every other time, it lead straight back to when she first met the creature, and how completely strange it was.

Ooh! Ooh! Flashback time! Yay!

-Flashback GO!-

Rainbow Dash was in the middle of practicing tricks near Fluttershy's cottage. Though her yellow friend wasn't watching at the moment, Dash simply enjoyed the area due to less traffic from other pegasai that might be wandering around the area, along with less buildings she might accidentally run into.

As she did a loopdey loop and shot to the ground in a corkscrew, she performed her Blazing Skid move, sending a ferocious amount of sparks flying from her hooves as she slid across the ground to slow herself after the corkscrew. When she finally came to a stop, she first thanked Celestia that nothing caught on fire (Celestia said, “you're welcome,” by the way!), and then began hoof-pumping the air when she realized she just completed her new trick flawlessly for the first time.

Hey, making sparks with hooves and dirt is not easy! I bet it took a lot of practice to get that to happen, or some precariously placed flint and steel. Just saying.

But in the middle of patting herself on the back, she heard a gasp behind her. At first she assumed it was a fan simply gawking at how amazing she was, of course. She turned around with a smile to greet the pony, but instead was confronted by a tall, bipedal figure wearing a large black cloak over itself. (You know the description already, and hey, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out that it's the shadow again! Gosh, trying to make me re-describe things you already know...)

Her smile went away as she simply stared at it with a blank expression, not exactly sure what to think of it. She was still keeping herself hovering over the ground a few feet, but dropped her hooves down from her prior hoof-pumping motions. She cocked her head, wondering what the heck she was looking at. Wondering if she was even talking to something that had a brain, she decided to test it to find out.

“Uhh... hello?”

Another gasp came from the figure, and then some quick, eratic breathing. It shuddered some as its figure drooped forward a little, and finally Rainbow Dash realized what it was just starting to do.

“H-hey! Are you okay? Are, are you crying?” She floated a bit closer, a look of uneasy concern on her face. She certainly didn't want to really upset anypony or anything, but she was still cautious of whatever the heck was in front of her.

That's when the thing started sobbing openly, weeping and hollering like an idiot as it fell onto what Dash assumed were its knees. It brought up its two arms, which though caught her by surprise as bare, also made her realize that she really had no clue anymore what was under the blanket. Nothing she knew had hairless arms like that!

Dash landed and then came up to the thing, even going as far as placing a hoof on its shoulder. She looked at it, hoping it would lift its covered head to look back at her.

“Hey, it's alright, you don't have to cry. I mean, I really don't know why you're crying, but maybe me or one of my friends could help!”

“S-stupid...” it muttered softly, making Rainbow Dash lean her ear in closer to hear it better. “Stupid S-spy...”

“Huh?” Dash tilted her head more, not even comprehending what it might be going on about.

And just like flicking a switch, one that Twilight didn't have earlier in this story for her screaming episode, the waterworks turned off and the figure stopped moving altogether. At first Dash was a bit relieved, I mean c'mon, the stupid freak just stopped pissing through its eyeballs! It is good thing!

But then it went from progressively good to down right not as good anymore as she heard a low growl from the thing. She took a step back as she removed her hoof, caught off-guard as it growled angrily again, not like a beast or a monster, but like some stallion or something that just got really pissed off. The thing raised its head, and Dash for the first time could see a pair of small blue eyes looking at her through two holes in the blanket.

Then, it suddenly yelled out in anguish as it flailed its arms around wildly, making Rainbow Dash retreat several paces while becoming a bit more worried. Not too worried though because, ya know, she's Rainbow Dash. Cool ponies never get nervous and worried and all that smooth jazz.

“Oh yeah, you think you're so tough huh!?” it suddenly shouted at her in an enraged voice.

“Wait, what?” Dash reeled back, caught off guard yet again. Seriously, with how much time she spends with Pinkie Pie, you'd think not much would phase her anymore. Well, that was just proved false!

“C'mon pal, ya think ya can just get away with mockin me like that?” It approached her, raising its shoulders up aggressively as it balled its hands into fists.

“W-wait! But, but I didn't-”

“I don't even know what to say to you! Do you have any idea, ANY idea at all who you're talkin to!?”

“Hey!” Dash yelled back, her confusion turning to anger as she flared up her wings and hovered above the ground, stopping her backwards movement. “Do you have any idea who YOU'RE talking to!?”

“Oh, gee, I dunno,” the thing said as it stopped right in front of her, staring her straight in the face. “By the looks of it some freak in need of an attitude adjustment ya winged rat!”

“What did you just call me!?” Dash growled, no longer caring if the creature was some sort of new or long forgotten species. The thing was freakin bad-mouthin her, she has to do something to protect her reputation! “Why don't you come out from under you stupid little blanket and say that to my face!”

“Oh yeah, says the prissy little pony that has rainbow hair. What, is that little color display supposed to show that you're some sort of gay bozo or somethin?”

“WHAT!?” Dash practically screamed, flexing her muscles in her legs as she felt the strong desire to beat the crap out of this thing. “I am not gay!”

“Oh, right, my bad I didn't quite catch on there that you're actually a girl since, ya know, you pretty much act and talk like a guy,” the thing said mockingly as it crossed its arms, leaning back some as if it wasn't even caring about her reaction to his words. “But hey, at least you're right. You're not gay, you're a lesbo. Hahah.”

Rainbow Dash seethed in rage, just mere seconds from launching all four of her hooves into the skull of that thing. “You... better take all that back... right now!” She growled through her clenched teeth as she stared daggers at the thing.

“Aww what's the matter? You gonna cry now? Yeah, c'mon I dare ya, try to hit me, see what happens.”

And try Rainbow Dash. She yelled out in anger as she brought her right hoof back and shot it forward with intense speed. She knew nopony would ever be able to dodge her blows, especially not one still standing on the ground, but she wasn't up against any pony at all... that's the thing. The thing sidestepped it easily, grabbing a hold of her hoof as it passed by and swung her around a few times before letting go. Dash lost control and flew straight into a tree, her back slamming into it as she yelped in pain.

“Oh, you are so dead!” She yelled as she shot off the tree and aimed both her front hooves at it. The creature ducked that time, grabbing onto her tail as she went over him and managed to pull her to a stop. The thing didn't just stop her all of a sudden, it was actually dragged several feet before it managed to cause her to pause, but after her muscles relaxed for even the slightest moment, he tightened his hold on her tail even more and swung her down like a bat, slamming her straight into the ground back-first. Again.

“OW!” She yelled out again, feeling her back ache. She was used to that sort of injury to her body, but the two consecutive moves against her hurt more than that. It hurt her pride.

“Yeah drink it in pal, that's how failure tastes!” it mocked at her as it raised up a hand and brought it down to her forehead, hitting it rather hard. “Bonk!”

“GRAAH!” Rainbow Dash roared, beyond the point of caring for any part of the creature's health anymore. She wanted its flank or whatever it had kicked so hard now that she hoped to make it feel like Twilight did after getting a whole house practically dropped on her by the retarded mail pegasus.

She turned over and bucked her back legs at the creature, yet it dodged again by simply sidestepping. Dash got up and took to her wings, charging it and swinging her fists wildly. The creature ducked, moved, jumped, and even twirled around like a ballerina at one point as it dodged her attacks.

This ended up going on for quite a while, and there was so much yelling and screaming and butt-hurt talk going on that I for one am surprised that Fluttershy nor anypony else head/saw what was going on. Eventually though, even the figure got tired of showing off its Superior skills to the flying lesbo rat, and decided to humiliate her one last time.

He ducked around another one of her swings and bonked her on the head with his fist before running away as she flinched. As Dash came to, she saw the object of all her hates running away from her. “HEY!” she yelled, “Get back here so I can beat on your head 'till I hit tonsils!”

By the time Dash had begun speeding towards her, the figure had already stopped, turned around, and was readying a wooden bat by his side. He smirked mischievously under his cloak as the rainbow pegasus drew closer, and closer, and closer still, and finally closer some more, and oh look she's getting even more closerly now as well, yes. ...You get the point.

When she was right up at his face, he swung, yelling out "Batta swing!" and hitting her across the face with his bat, sending her flying the opposite direction. And out of nowhere, an audience could be heard going “Ooooooh!” along with some cheering. Home run, for sure, as Dash flew all the way across Ponyville.

“Hey look, it left a rainbow trail!”

-And thus the flashback comes to an end-

So, ultimately, her remembering how everything happened started as anger and rage from recent events, curiosity and confusion to when she first saw the shadow, and finally anger and rage again from recalling how it all ended up like it did. After he came after her that night to mess with her, she started calling him a shadow by the way he liked to hide in really dark areas until she lost him. It was nerve racking, and no matter how many times she claimed him to be a coward, he always came back with some witty remark and a bonk to her head with his fish. Yuck!

But this time, she had had enough. She was going to fly straight to everypony's home and tell them directly what happened, what needs to happen, and the lengths she's willing to go to do it.

“This town ain't big enough for two speedsters,” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself as she went first to Sugarcube Corner. “I'll show you, you stupid little freak...”

Ya know, you remind me of somebody I hate

-Ya know, you remind me of somebody I hate-

Rainbow Dash flew to the library, determined to put an end to things once and for all. Though she had originally planned to be all “yo im da boss and im gonna solo this nubcake,” last night's events finally made her realize she couldn't do things on her own. For it was after she broke into tears and made her way home that she came to realize that only her friends could help her through her sticky situation...

...NO! Not THAT kind of sticky situation you perverts! Good gravy, I'm talking about how she's “stuck” with the shadow. Get it? Course you don't. Wankers...

So, with her jimmies all rustled Rainbow Dash flies to the library, letting herself in through the front door without bothering to knock. She's a mare on a mission, she don't care about such things as “knocking” anymore. So as she entered the library she noticed Twilight Sparkle reading through books like it was her last day alive. But no worries, such a thing really isn't happening (yet), she just saw her friend get beat to a pulp in front of her and was just as dedicated as Rainbow Dash to find out what it was and find a way to stop it.

Obviously Twilight heard her friend come in, so she raised her head up with a worried expression upon her entry. “Rainbow Dash! There you are, are you okay? When I followed you last night you were flying back to your home crying.”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Dash grumbled as she set down next to the unicorn. “And I wasn't crying, I was just, well, not feeling to good okay?” She was totally bawling over her hurt pride.

Aww... don't be such a baby Rainbow Dash, pride grows back! No it doesn't!

Anyways, Twilight wasn't buying it, but she decided to let it go for now. “Well, I'm glad you decided to come, I've been up ever since you busted – literally I might add – and I've been trying to see if I have anything in my books on this 'shadow' deal...” Twilight flipped closed the book she had open in front of her and sighed miserably. “So far I've found nothing.”

“We don't need your books for this Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said as she strutted up to her friend all determined like. It's like she was Arnold Schartsiwhatshisface when he figured out on the Predator movie that he had to kill the alien by himself. “I'm putting my hoof down, we need to get all six of us here to stop this guy!”

“You mean gather up the other element bearers?” No Twilight, she means getting the three stooges and Don Knotts assembled with you two in the library. Jesus...

“That's right. Whatever this guy is, I know that the six of us combined will be able to stop him together!”

“Wow, that's a really good idea, Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow Dash? Having a good idea!? Stop the god damn presses!

“I know, right? As long as we work together as a team, then we can finally take down this annoying shadow once and for all!”

“Yeah!” Twilight cheered.

“Yeah!” Rainbow cheered too.

“Yeah!” Spike joined in.

“Whoo!” Owlowicious... apparently cheered as well.

“Tweet!” ...oh hey, there's Peewee!

“Ragle fragle!” and that weird Sasquatch monster from Billy and Many? Da'fuk?

Dude, that thing just jumped out from the basement, grabbed Spike, and then hauled ass out the window. Spike was screaming all “aaah! Help!” and everyone else just did nothing. Seriously, the frik is wrong with these ponies?

Okay, okay, so getting back on track. The group first heads over to Sweet Apple Acres to recruit Applejack, right? Well they find her in her apple orchard bucking trees and such, that's all going dandy and stuff until...

“So let me get this straight,” Applejack attempted to clarify what her southern hick brain could not comprehend so easily. Darn tootin. “Y'all want me ta help you catch, and probably beat the buck out of, some sort of runnin' bipedal shadow thing?”

“Yes, especially the beat the buck out of part!” Rainbow Dash emphasized. “That thing seriously has it coming to him, trust me.”

“Well first of all, what in the hay is it?” Oh feeble-minded Applejack, don't worry, the one with a head as smart as an egg is almost just as dumb as you are!

“That's what we're still trying to figure out,” said egg-head replied. “I got a good look at it, and so did Rainbow-”

“-A VERY good look! Especially when it decided to use me as some sort of ring-around-the-rosy partner and fling me straight into the garbage of a fast food restaurant! I was smelling like rotten hay fries and over-ripened tomatoes for three days after that! Three days!”

“...Right, well, we've both gotten a good look at it, but we really don't know what it is yet. And right now it's been terrorizing Rainbow Dash for the past few days, and she really needs some help to catch it.”

“Yeah...” Rainbow Dash sighes as she crossed her hooves. “It's totally cheating though, using its crazy drinks and gadgets and fish and... stuff.”

“Well have you tried talkin to it?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah, I did, the first day I met the thing! But all it did was start crying and then the next thing I know, it tries to use me as a baseball!” Rainbow Dash leaned uncomfortably close to Applejack at this. “It DID use me as a baseball!”

“okay, okay! I can see why ya wanna beat it up now, I guess.” Applejack took a defensive step backwards. “But still, it ain't makin sense. Why would it start crying and then just go after ya Dash?”

“Hey, I wasn't crying!”

Woah, hey, I'm just as surprised as you are at this! (not really) So they all get startled and turn to see the shadow up on one of the tree branches right next to them. At first Rainbow Dash got angry, obviously, with the focal point of all her hate being right there. But then she gets even more pissed when she sees a familiar blue blanket and pillow draped over the thing.

“HEY! My napping stuff!”

“What, you mean this?” The shadow asked as it raised up her pillow in one hand and the blanket in the other. “Yeah, pretty neat setup ya got here. Thought I would use it to take a little nap myself, seeing as your liked to do it in a pile of hay ya filthy horse.”

“Hey now, there ain't no need to be insultin anypony 'round here!” Applejack demanded as she stomped her hoof, obviously realizing that there was good reason to be hating on that fool of a dark figure. “Now y'all better come down here and apologize for what ya done!”

“Woah woah woah, wait a second,” The shadow seemed to be on the verge of a fit of laughter. “Say something again.”

“H-huh?” Applejack cocked her head.

“Do it, c'mon, just say somethin one more time!”

“...What in tarnation are ya talkin about!? Why would you want me to just keep talkin an-”

Applejack was rudely interrupted as the shadow was rudely laughing at her while rudely clinging onto Rainbow Dash's rudely placed sleeping stuff... in a rude way.

“Ahahahaha! Oh man, that is too much!” The shadow dropped the pillow, but held onto the blanket as it swung down off the branch and landed right in front of the farmer pony, leaning down to talk to her. “Ya know, you remind me of somebody I hate. Not cuz he's a jerk or nuthin, but he keeps trying to tell me to do this or that,” it leaned uncomfortably close to her, similar to how Rainbow Dash did. “Just like you do... ya reckon, partner?” The shadow snerked at its use of mockery, and then just laughed in her face.

“Alright, that's it!” Rainbow Dash lunged forward and, miraculously, got a hold of the thing with her hoofed on the cloth just below its neck. “You're gonna pay for making me look like a fool, and for being a smart-ass to me and my friends!”

“That's right!” Twilight added in, getting her face up close to the shadow's as well. “You've got a lot to explain for everything you've done. I don't care if hitting my assistant over the head with a rolled up newspaper didn't hurt, it's still rude and degrading!”

“An now I can see why y'all wanted to take this thing down!” she brought her face up as well, but got the attention of the shadow more than the others as it stared at her through those dark eye holes. As if to savor the moment, she smirked and tipped her hat back a bit, deciding to mock it in return. “...Ya reckon, partner?”

“Uhh...” the shadow looked at the three faces glaring at it. “Okay, this is not looking good here, um-”

“What's the matter, run out of tricks?” Rainbow Dash glared at it with a wicked, satisfied grin. “It's about time! Now I can beat your flank to a pulp!”

Uh oh, looks like Rainbow Dash is gonna finally hit it! There she goes, raising up her hoof for the swing, oh man, hear it comes....

SPLASH!

“What the hay!?” apparently, Rainbow Dash didn't expect the shadow to bring up a bottle of milk and splash it all over her. Neither of her friends did either, it seems, as they all got splash too as it pulled away from Dash's grip.

“Drink it in pal, that's how failure tastes!” The shadow teased as it slung the bottle around again, pouring the remainder of the milk on the three. “Look like it's nap time for the baby pony gang.” Okay, I thought the shenanigans of the shadow were pretty funny till now, however I do not endorse it grabbing up that pillow and ripping it open. Poor pillow...

...I DO however endorse the shadow flinging feathers all over them, thus making them all look like Scootaloos.

“Ah, jeez!” Rainbow Dash spat a few feathers out of her mouth as she flailed her hooves around.

“Aaah!” Twilight screamed like a namby pamby pony princess's student would.

“Land sakes!” Came Applejack's surprised yelp as she was met with the same fate as her friends. Oh, woe is them...

“There, now you can all share the same pillow, hahah!” it then flung the blanket over and on top of the three ponies, blinding them long enough for it to start running away to freedom. “Have a nice nap, losers!”

With the shadow running off, the three ponies do their best to get the blanket and the feathers off of them, while at the same time spitting out the bits that did get into their mouths.

“Ptew, ptew, Rainbow!?” Applejack spoke began as she looked at her friend with an glare. “Get mah rope!”

“A running shadow? Darlings, that sounds completely preposterous!” Rarity claimed to her three friends staring at her with dead serious expressions. “Is this some sort of joke?”

“It ain't no joke, Rarity,” Applejack replied. “We got ourselves a big problem with this thing. Dash here's had it the worst, but so far all I've seen comin from it ain't nothin but trouble and lots'ah wasted milk!” of course the farmer would cry over spilled milk...

“It just randomly showed up at my house at night, too, and it assaulted both me and Spike!”

“It even hurt Spikey wikey!?” Good job Rarity! Way to show concern for your friends over the future set of boots that just hawks over you any chance it gets. “Why, that is unacceptable! I will have none of any sort of “shadow” hurting any of my friends.”

“So does that mean you're in?” Rainbow Dash asked, full of hope.

“Certainly! Let me just get some of my supplies so that I can help you with-” Rarity stopped, dead in her tracks. She was turning around to get a few things gathered that she thought might help, as well as some beauty products in case her mane or coat got dirty (damn prep), but it was at that time she saw some strange thing covered in a black cloth pulling over one of her dresses she had on a mannequin (or ponequin or... whatever) and drape it around itself. Her jaw dropped as she watched it twirl around with one of her best works crudely draped around its covered body.

“Hah! Hey, look at me mah!” the shadow said as it waved at the mirror that was right next to it.

“You!” Rarirty shouted as she pointed her hoof at the fashion offender. “Get your filthy arms off of my dress!”

So of course, naturally, the three others turned to see what she was griping about, and they were also able to see the spectacle that was the shadow playing with a dress.

“”Hehe, hey ya got some pretty neato stuff here. Oh look a hat!” it dropped the dress as it ran over and plucked a very stylish purple hat that was merely a half-circle bowl of thick silk and encrusted with multiple gems and diamonds that was sitting on top of another ponequin, setting it on its own head.. “Sweet.”

“That's it right there!” Dash claimed with a shout of her own before speeding after it. She tried to tackle the thing again, but the shadow sidestepped her comically, letting her fly straight into a cluttered closet.

“Hah, too slow.” The scout reached under its cloak for something, and then brought out an apple. “Hey aren't you that one horse that sounds like the engineer?”

“The what?” Applejack asked, having seen the shadow's question directed at her. “Who's the engineer? And what the hay are ya doin with one of mah apples!?” Uh oh, messing with AJ's apples, now she's pissed.

“Oh I just got an idea of what to use this thing for back at yer run-down orchard.” It brought out its wooden bat with its other hand as it began to toss the apple up and catch it in its hand over and over. “Ya ready for this ya southern hick?”

“Look out!” Rainbow Dash warned as she poked her head out of the closet, covered with all sorts of cloth, string, and a lamp cover. “He's gonna hit you with it like a baseball!”

“...Woah woah woah, wait a second, am I getting that predicable now?” The shadow asked as it turned to Rainbow Dash. “Nah nah nah that won't do. How about...” it looked over, seeing a roll of thread on a desk. “Aha!” It put the apple back under its cloak, grabbed the roll, and then hit it with its bad to the other side of the boutique.

“Hey! That's a very expensive roll of thread!” Rarity protested before she had to duck her head from the roll flying right over her, leaving a trail behind it. The thread bounced off the wall, and then off another wall, and then went back to the shadow before he again hit it with his bat. This repeated several times over until Rainbow Dash got tired of watching it.

“Okay, time to stop this!” she said as she launched herself out of the closet, only to get tangled up by threads hanging in the air. “What!? What is this!?”

“Hey ya finally figure it out yet?” the shadow teased as he hit the half-unrolled spool of thread again, then lifted up his hand that was originally holding the apple, only to show it had the end of the thread caught between two of its fingers.

“It's made a thread barrier by hitting it around the room!” Twilight announced as she looked around. All the ponequins, the desks, the sewing machines and everything decorating or taking up space had thread strung around it from the spool being hit around everywhere, effectively ensnaring everything.

Finally, after what seemed to be an endless amount, the spool ran out, and the shadow put the baseball bat away. That left the shadow completely trapped in the middle of the boutique... right? Wrong.

“Well, good luck trying to get out a this one!” it said as it pulled a yellow can out from under the cloak, popped it open, and then drank just a bit of its contents. Just as it did the night before, it had blurry movements all around it, but this time was able to simply run through all the threads around the room like they didn't even exist. “Wananununun....”

With a hop, a skip, and a leap it jumped out the window that it had apparently used to get in with in the first place, leaving the four confused and frustrated ponies left inside.

“H-he ruined my thread... and my boutique... and...” Rarity, on the verge of tears, had a complete switch of emotions. She glared at the window, infuriated by the recently intruder and what it had done.

“Uh, so, are ya gonna help us now or what?” Rainbow Dash asked in an unamused voice.

“Oh, it. Is. On...”

So where would the now four ponies head next, you might ask? Why, to Sugarcube Corner of course! They would head to Fluttershy's place first, ya know, because the shadow would probably scare the living daylights out of her and all if it showed up first, but Sugarcube Corner was on the way sooo...

...They get there first. And they head inside and all, yeah, but they didn't expect Pinkie Pie to be decorating the walls with essentially all the cakes, cupcakes, danishes and every other pastry available. Ya know, I take that back, she's not decorating the walls, she's just trying really hard and failing at hitting the shadow that's in the middle of taunting her in there.

“What the crap are you throwing cake at me for ya loon!?” the shadow asks as he narrowly avoids a muffin hitting his head, which instead flies out the window and hits an orange and yellow mare square in the face.

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing!?” Twilight calls out to her friend who is currently perched on top of a cabinet that's less than half full with cakes. Ya know Twilight, you're seriously getting dumber and dumber as the story goes along. I hate to say it, but maybe having an egg for a head isn't one of the best things in the world.

“What does it look like I'm doin!?” Pinkie Pie replies with a glare and a lot of shouting. “I'm assaulting him with cake! This meany meaner pants comes in and starts insulting me, the Cakes, all my pastries, AND he takes a cupcake without asking!” Pinkie finishes her sentence with throwing a pound cake at the shadow, who ducks to avoid getting hit.

“This is a real freakin embarrassment,” the shadow says as leans left and right, ready to dodge the next confection. “I can't believe I'm being attacked by a pink pony who uses frosting and lots of colors to attack people.” He dodges another cake. “Ya know, you remind me of another guy I know, and I hate him too!”

“Get'im Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash cheered as she watched the shadow almost get his again, this time with a pie.

“I'm trying!” She said as she reached down, pulling up two more cakes. The shadow, however, was done playing. It jumped up to Pinkie, dodging the first cake, and then grabbed her hoof that still held the other cake while it stared her in the eyes.

“Okay, repeat after me, Mmm-mmm-mm-I'm dumb!” at that, the shadow forced Pinkie's hoof with the cake back at her, splattering the cake in her face.

Pinkie fell backwards dramatically, falling off the cabinet in slow motion going “noooooooooooooo-” and stuff before falling into a pile of ruined pastries on the floor.

“Pinkie Pie!” The collective group cried out after seeing their dear party friend defeated.

“Mmmm mm mmmm...” came Pinkie's reply as she tried to talk through the cake that was partially stuffed into her mouth.

“Eat it ya cake throwin moron!” the shadow yelled before jumping off the cabinet and making its way to the window. “Nice hustle tons-of-fun, next time try a salad!” after that, it jumps out of the window that the muffin had flown out of earlier, dashing away from the four ponies who tried to catch him after Pinkie fell.

“He got away, again!” Rainbow Dash cursed under her breath as she watched him run off. “We gotta stop him, before he does something really terrible!”

“Hold up a second, is it me, or are y'all seein a pattern here?” Applejack asked.

“What do you mean?” of course you would have no freakin clue Twilight. Yeesh...

“Well, first you an Dash come to get me, and the shadow's there, then he appears when we're getting Rarity, THEN it's already here at Sugarcube Corner when we're trying to gather up Pinkie Pie, so...”

Rarity gasped. “Oh no, you can't mean-”

“It's gonna get Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie cried out after swallowing the cake that was in her mouth. “Everypony quick, we gotta stop it!”

With that, they all ran out of the shop and down the street, passing a pair of ponies wrestling on the ground.

“D-derpy!” Carrot Top cried out. “Stop licking my face, please!”

“Muffin!”

….Hah.

So, the group of five finally make it to Fluttershy's house. How the shadow keeps popping up where they're going to next, I dunno. Probably has something to do with Cragle's cousin or... something. Anyways, they get there, and they group up at the door as Twilight knocks on it.

“Fluttershy? Are you in there?”

No response.

Twilight knocks again. “Fluttershy?”

A few soft voices are heard inside, and then the door swings open fully, revealing Fluttershy with a soft smile on her face.

“Oh, hello girls, it's so nice to see you all here.”

“I, um, yes... is, is everything alright in there?” Twilight asks. Gee, does it LOOK like everything's alright in there!? Because judging from her expression it seems like-calm down... Calm down...

“Oh, why, of course it is. Why do you ask?” Fluttershy tilts her head, a moderately concerned look on her face.

“Because we think there's some evil meany shadowy creature coming to get you!” Pinkie yells out while throwing her hooves in the air, making a scene. Wow, the shadow was right about Pinkie... she is dumb.

“W-w-what?” Fluttershy takes a step back, fear overcoming her expression.

“Don't worry sugarcube, we're here to keep that thing from hurtin ya, and ta catch it as well,” Applejack declared.

“That's right, darling, we simply cannot allow it to continue making a ruckus throughout Ponyville, so we're here to ask for your help.”

“B-but, why would you need my help? I mean, surely you don't need all the elements for this... do you?”

“Well, not exactly,” Twilight begins. “We just figured you might be good with talking to it. As far as we know it's something hiding under a black cloth, and we're sure it's not any sort of pony or anything else we know.”

“Really?” Fluttershy asks, gaining more interest in the supposed wild animal.

“Yeah, I mean the dang thing doesn't even have fur!” Rainbow Dash exclaims. “It's all skin so no scales, no fur anywhere I've seen so far, walks on two legs, has two arms with fingers, and like Twilight said it wears a freakin cloth over itself to keep it concealed. That bucking coward, why I oughta pull that cloth off and just-”

“But I already convinced him to take the cloth off,” Fluttershy interrupted.

“At any rate, Fluttershy, do you think you can help us find and-wait, what?” Twilight paused, giving Fluttershy a confused look, as did the other four with her. “What do you mean you already convinced it to take its cloth off?”

...I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the shadow beat on her head till it hits tonsils if she keeps acting so stupid.

“Oh, well, the creature you described already came here, and at first I was afraid of him and all, but then he started acting so sweet. I think he was just scared and needed some loving care.” Fluttershy turned around and smiled sweetly at the bipedal creature that just happened to be walking by, chomping on a sandwhich without its cloak over it. “Isn't that right, Scout?”

“Sure is, Fluttershy,” The 'Scout' replies as he takes another bite, before suddenly stopping in his tracks and slowly turning his head towards the door.

Can ya hear that? It's the sound of nothing... absolutely nothing. Because for what seemed like forever, everypony stood there in silence, with the five at Fluttershy's door staring at the Scout with mixed looks of anger, confusion, bewilderment, and irritation, while the Scout stares back with one of those 'oh shit I'm gonna die' looks, and Fluttershy is looking back and forth between the two parties, not having a flying buck what's going on.

From what the ponies could see, the shadow wasn't entirely hairless. It was bald all along its face and across its arms, sure, but it had some hair on the top of its head which was mostly covered up by the hat it had acquired from Rarity's boutique. Every other part of it was covered, however, by the clothes it wore on its body. His clothes were... you know, I could bore you with the description, but I'm just gonna cut that short right now and tell ya it's the BLU scout. M'kay? M'kay.

So, who's gonna break the silence, hm? Anybody wanna bet? Just like the first chapter, it's twenty bucks! Who is it, Dash? Fluttershy? Pinkie? The Scout? Anybody? Alright... here we go!

A few of the ponies manage to blink, but that's as far as they get in their silence before the former shadow manages to break the ice.

“...Um-”

“GET HIM!”

P.S. Anyone who didn't bet on Scout owes me twenty bucks. Anybody who did... well, kudos.