Daylight Savings Crime

by Shakespearicles

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart, Comedy, Sunburst, Sex
Length: 1506

A filly waits until she is a legal adult before having sex for the first time.

A filly waits until she is a legal adult before having sex for the first time.

Not foalcon.
Yeah, there's a Sex tag, and it's M-rated, but it's totally not foalcon. I'm just playing it safe with the M rating and tagging. It's a comedy! It's not foalcon.
I promise!

Published 2023-03-12 03:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-12 03:40:03 UTC

To the Letter of the Law

A familiar face visited Sunburst's office. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sunburst senpai!" Princess Flurry Heart said, placing the frilly pink envelope on his desk.

"Thank you, Flurry, but I'm not your sempai anymore. And you really ought to be exchanging these sort of cards with ponies your own age." Sunburst picked up the envelope with his magic and opened it. Inside was an even more frilly pink card. He read the text.

I hope my street won't be the only thing getting plowed tonight.

"Flurry, we've talked about this! You can't be..." He held the card closer. "Did you put perfume on this?"

Flurry blushed. "I sat on the card all day yesterday! My estrus started early. Can't you tell?" She smirked.

He shook his head to regain his senses. "Flurry, no! You are only seventeen!"

"I'm gonna be eighteen in less than a month!" she said. "I've had my cutie mark for years, and I've been going into heat for just as long! Every year it gets worse! I am a biologically mature adult and my body knows what it needs! I am smart enough and mature enough to be able to make this decision without needing to wait for some arbitrary calendar mark!"

"You are just being a hormonal teenager," Sunburst said.

"I find that statement to be sexist and condescending!"

"Fine. I apologize. But the law is the law!"

"Do you really think that..." Flurry looked at the calendar, "twenty eight days is really going to make that much of a difference in my capacity to self-govern my bodily autonomy?"

"Those are big words for a ~foal~," he said. Flurry glared at him. "Besides, it doesn't matter what I think!" Sunburst said. "I don't make the laws. It's the job of politicians to think for us, and make these laws without being influenced by silly little things like scientific facts, logic or reason, because they are smarter than us when it comes to sexual health."

Flurry Heart slumped. "I guess you're right. I should just unquestionably follow the laws."

He patted her on the head. "That a girl. And remember, you're a princess. You're part of the system."

Her face lit up. "Yeah! When I'm an adult next month, I can change the laws before I'm corrupted by the system!"

Sunburst laughed. "No, no! You can't become a lawmaker until you're at least thirty five and you've had a chance to become a jaded and bitter old mare!"

She frowned. "But then I'll just want to continue the same oppression of the younger generation that I've had to endure out of misplaced spite!"

Sunburst tussled her mane. "Exactly! You get it!"

"So what can I do once I'm eighteen?" she asked.

"You can have sex."

"And would you finally do that with me?" she asked.

"With you? No," he said. "You're just a little, innocent foal. But that future Flurry Heart, a month from now? Her? Absolutely!"

"Thank you!" Flurry Heart smiled and leaned over to kiss him. He backed away and put her hoof up to stop her.

"Uh, ah!" he chided her. "Not until you're eighteen."

She frowned but nodded in understanding.

27 ¾ Days Later

Sunburst woke up in his bed with a start. He realized his hooves were restrained in hoof-cuffs chained to the bed frame. The chains rattled and then his bedroom light turned on.

"Surprise!" Flurry Heart said! "It's my eighteenth birthday! We can have sex!"

Sunburst squinted at his nightstand clock. "No it's not! Your birthday is tomorrow! And it's sill 11:55pm!"

"You are technically correct!" she said. "That's why we are going to wait five more minutes until midnight, and THEN we are going to have sex!"

"But that doesn't mean you'll be eighteen though! What time were you born?" he asked.

"I was born right at midnight! Look!" She showed him her birth certificate with the exact time of her birth shown to be at midnight, complete with an official notarized seal. She held up her photo identification, her carriage driver license, with the matching information. "And I also brought these certified forms of enthusiastic consent!" She gave one to him to read over while they waited.

He nodded. "Yup. This contract looks air-tight." She put a pen in his mouth for him to sign the form. "Don't sign yours yet! It's not midnight! You're still not legally an adult!"

"I know, silly!" She said, waiting at the end of his bed in her dress, looking at the thin blanket draped over his body, like a present she couldn't wait to unwrap.

Agonizing seconds ticked by.

The clock struck midnight and she practically pounced on him.

"We- we should wait until 12:01!" Sunburst begged. "You know, just in case my clock is running fast!"

Flurry bit her lip but nodded. She had waited this long. She could wait one minute more.

The clock read 12:01.

She looked at him. "So, what do think of my adult body?"

"Oh, you are so sexy!" Sunburst said at last, as he made a tent in the blanket, aroused by the appearance of her adult body.

Flurry Heart quickly signed her officially notarized form of enthusiastic consent and placed it on the night stand with his. She pulled back the covers and let him be exposed to her now that she was no longer a minor. She climbed on top of him and used her magic to aim him at her nethers.

Restrained as he was, she could proceed at a pace that she was comfortable with, not that he would have it any other way. She felt his first contact, and she slowly lowered herself down. She was able to take him with ease. She was incredibly wet with her arousal, and she had been practicing for years with a variety of phallic vegetables, making her hymen a distant memory. There was no pain, no blood. Only bliss as she took the whole thing and finished her descent. She sat there on his lap, just enjoying the feeling of having a stallion inside her at long last.

"FBI OPEN UP!" The bedroom door was smashed open, showering their naked bodies with splinters of wood. "There he is! Get him!"

"What is the meaning of this!" Sunburst screamed. "She's eighteen! She consented!"

One of the agents grabbed Flurry and pulled her off Sunburst, wrapping her in one of those really old, grey asbestos blankets that first responders always seem to have.

"It's Daylight Savings Time, and it's only 11:02 pm! She's still a filly, you sick bastard! She can't consent!" he yelled, emptying a can of mace into Sunburst's eyes.

Sunburst screamed. "Oh, goddess forgive me I'm a foal fiddler!"

"Get on the floor!"

"I can't!" Sunburst yelled, rattling the hoofcuffs restraining him to the bed frame.

"He's resisting arrest! Taze him!"

"No! Don't taze me, bro!" Sunburst yelled before getting 30,000 volts directly to the nards.

"Are you okay, miss?" the on-site councilor asked Flurry.

"I was just a filly!" She sobbed.

~

About an hour later, everypony was outside Sunburst's house. Flurry watched him getting put in the back of a police wagon.

"I thought you knew what you were doing!" he said with red, swollen eyes.

She looked at the adjusted time on the town clock tower. It read 12:01. "Now I do! I'm older and wiser! And now you're going to the gelding clinic, and then to jail for a long time! You know what they do to foal fiddlers in prison!?"

Sunburst cringed. "...Yeah."

"Well, you're going to be getting a lot of it!" Flurry snapped. "And you know you'll deserve it! You made the author a liar with the story description! And you made all the viewers read foalcon! Now they're gonna go to jail too just for reading this, because apparently that's a thing that can actually happen in some countries!"

"I'm a monster!" Sunburst hunched over and sobbed. But then suddenly sat back upright. "Wait... Don't the clocks spring ahead in the spring?"

"..."

Sunburst rubbed his bruised wrists with his hooves after the agents uncuffed him. "So, sorry about interrupting you two adults. And for the false arrest. And for the whole can of mace in your eyes. And for the taser to your balls. And then all the nasty stuff we called you while you were detained. Daylight Savings Time is silly like that. Our bad. So... here's a five-bit gift card to Applebee's."

Sunburst could barely see.

"How did you even know what we were doing?" Flurry asked.

"Scanning ponies' thoughts. Anypony that isn't wearing tinfoil on their head, anyway," the agent explained. "That way we can police the morality of ponies, even behind closed doors. Future crimes are still crimes, after all."

"Thank you, officer," Flurry said. "I feel safer knowing I have the government looking after me like a big brother."

The officer tipped his cap. "That's just what we do, miss... Happy birthday."