[Insert Carnival Joke Here]
Sombra was annoyed as he stood at the carnival entrance wearing a goofy disguise, while being essentially on babysitting duty. The fake glasses, nose and mustache couldn't cover up his disdain as he was dragged along by the small filly. How such a little twerp had risen to the stature of a villain was beyond him.
"Come on," Cozy Glow whined, "the Bumper Bugs's over here!"
As much as ex-king Sombra wanted to take this little brat and chuck her through a portal into the gapping maw of a tatzlwurm, Sombra knew his orders from Grogar. Even now he could hear that old blue goat's voice inside his head.
'Use this team building exercise as an opportunity to get to know Cozy Glow better. Don't get smart with me! Just do it!'
Sombra shook his head to alleviate the loud voice inside his head.
"Dumb goat," Sombra mumbled.
"Come on!" Cozy said, tugging on his foreleg slightly.
"Fine... dear..." Sombra sighed as he embraced the fatherly persona that had been given to him.
About a month ago, Sombra had enslaved the minds of nearly everypony in Equestria and would have succeeded in conquering it, if it weren't for six meddling mares. Now everypony knew what he looked like and would call for the royal guard if they caught him. Hence, he had to pretend to be Cozy's father and escort her around this dumb carnival.
However, Sombra wasn't too sure how effective his disguise was. While ponies weren't fleeing in terror or kneeling before him in a combination of fear and awe, it wasn't like they were ignoring him. In fact, many of the ponies looked at his face either out of confusion or nervousness.
Cozy Glow was giddy with excitement as both of them walked up to the Bumper Bugs ride. It pained Sombra that he had to wait in line and couldn't just command these common peasants to kneel and step aside. However if Sombra did that he would be caught and he would never hear the end of it from Grogar.
'Really hate that goat!'
After what felt like hours had passed, Sombra and Cozy Glow finally made it to the head of the line, where a mare in a red uniform greeted them.
"Why... hello... there," the mare said, much of her attention focused on Sombra's fake nose.
Sombra pushed Cozy forward. "Go ride dear, I'll see you when you're done."
Of course, Sombra had no intention of sticking around. Perhaps if he played his cards right, Sombra could claim that he "lost" Cozy in the carnival.
Turning around, Sombra was about to leave, when he felt somepony tap his shoulder. Turning around, Sombra saw the ride attendant giving him a nervous smile.
"Unfortunately, you're... uh, child is a bit too small to be on this ride by herself. Would you like to ride together?"
Of course, she was too small for dark magic's sake.
Cozy looked up at Sombra with her puppydog eyes. "Oh, pweese daddy, could you ride the bumper bug with me?"
Taking a deep breath and forcing a smile, Sombra spoke through clenched teeth. "Very well."
"Right this way," the ride attendant said as guided Cozy Glow and Sombra to a ruby red bumper bug.
Upon examining the interior of the bumper bug, Sombra noticed a stain on one side of the cushion. A stain that was either the remnants of a sugary beverage or something far more disgusting.
"Oh, golly, this is going to be SO much fun," Cozy Glow said as she sat down in the one spot on the seat that was clean.
"Yes... of course," Sombra grumbled as he sat down on the tainted seating. The feeling of something touching his flank made Sombra grit his teeth.
After the two ponies were secured within the bumper bug, the attendant smiled. "Alright, you're good to go, we'll be starting shortly."
'Yes, the sooner we are done with this the better,' Sombra thought to himself.
After the attendant checked on the other participants and made sure that they were securely locked into their bumper bugs, she stepped out of the arena and walked over to the control terminal. After clicking a button, a rhythmic tune counted down before all of the bumper bugs turned on.
Immediately Cozy Glow grabbed a hold of the controls and the next few minutes were a blur of chaos as the numerous bumper bugs zoomed around and slammed into each other, with such violence that Sombra hadn't witnessed even in the many conflicts and wars he had waged centuries ago.
"Oh golly, that was SO much fun Som-uh, dad!" Cozy Glow said as they left the bumper bugs arena.
Admittedly Sombra had found some enjoyment out of the ride. Perhaps when Sombra tried to seize control of Equestria once more, he could use similar machines in his conquest. So, it had been a profitable experience... Even if it did take a crowbar to pry his flank from the sticky seat.
They went to a couple other rides, which much to Sombra's chagrin needed him to accompany Cozy.
"Oh, golly, look at those balloons!" Cozy Glow said as they passed by a vendor in a clown outfit selling balloons. "Can I please have a balloon? Pweassseee..."
Still annoyed that he was babysitting this annoying little filly, Sombra considered saying no, just to shatter her spirit for his own entertainment, but then he could imagine Grogar rebuking him for it.
"Fine," Sombra sighed, "what color do you want?"
"The blue one!" Cozy said, her body bouncing with excitement.
Walking up to the vendor, Sombra pointed at the blue balloon. "We'd like that balloon, please."
"Of course, sir," the goofy clown said, "that'll be ten bits."
Ten bits! That was an outrageous price for a sphere of rubber suspended merely by gas, held together by a flimsy string.
Once more, Sombra considered just walking away, but then he had a cunning idea. His horn glowed with purple, green and black energy as he channeled the dark magic and cast a spell on the clown.
"Why don't you just give us the balloon," Sombra said, "you don't want to make a poor filly sad do you?"
Cozy Glow put on a sad, pouty face, her eyes welling up, almost on the brink of tears.
The clown's eyes glowed with a faint, eerie green light. "O-of course. H-here's your b-balloon."
With jerky, robotic movements, the clown gave Sombra the balloon, who in turn gave it to Cozy Glow. "Here you go."
Smiling Cozy took the balloon before looking around and spotting an ice cream stand. "Look! Look! There's some ice cream over there!"
Reluctantly Sombra followed Cozy over to the ice cream stand.
"I want a Rainboom Pop!" Cozy said, pointing at the image of a rainbow-colored popsicle.
Rolling his eyes, Sombra stepped up to the vendor.
"We'll have a Rainboom Pop and a..." Sombra took a moment to look at the menu. "Chocolate Death Cone."
"Okay," the mare behind the counter spoke, "that will be a total of thirty bits."
Thirty bits just for some frozen cream!
Once more Sombra's horn glowed as he cast a spell on the vendor, a charming grin stretching across his lips.
"Or perhaps you could just give us the ice cream," Sombra said, "and I'll... return the favor later."
Even as the vendor's eyes began to glow, the mare swooned. "W-well, I guess a little bit of ice cream couldn't hurt."
Sombra chuckled inwardly as the vendor gave them the ice cream. Though it did take the vendor a bit to get the delicious treats as her zombie like movements made her drop the ice cream on one or two occasions.
After receiving their ice cream, Sombra and Cozy Glow walked over to a wooden bench and sat down.
"Thank you," Cozy said as she licked her popsicle.
"You're welcome," Sombra grumbled as he nibbled on his ice cream cone.
The chocolate ice cream had an exquisite taste, perhaps Sombra should have more treats like this when he finally conquered Equestria for himself.
"I know you're just pretending," Cozy said, "but it's kind of nice having a dad. Even if it's not real."
Sombra was in the middle of licking his ice cream when he heard what Cozy Glow said, the words resonating in his ears. Blinking a few times, Sombra quit eating his dessert and turned his attention to her. "You don't have a dad?"
Cozy Glow shook her head. "My parents separated when I was but a foal, so I never met him."
Hearing this, Sombra understood where she was coming from. His father had also left his mother while she was still pregnant with Sombra. As he pondered this, Sombra began to see Cozy Glow in a different light.
Sure, Cozy could be annoying at times, but at the same time, Sombra could see a lot of himself in her and perhaps when he was her age, Sombra had been a bit of a brat himself.
Upon finishing his ice cream, Sombra stood up. "Alright, where do you want to go next?"
Cozy's face beamed brightly. "Oh golly, this is going to be so much fun!"
The two of them went on a few more rides as well as participated in a few games, most of which Sombra had used his magic to partake in the games for free. Sombra with his clever tricks had even managed to win Cozy Glow a stuffed parasprite plushie. Admittedly, Sombra had been tempted to take the sombrero for himself, but chose to give Cozy the parasprite toy instead.
Proud of himself and the various things that Cozy and he had accomplished, Sombra looked around and saw a roller coaster, the Twisty Terror.
"Let's go ride that contraption," Sombra said, his bright smile only partially concealed by his fake mustache.
"Oh golly, are you sure S- dad?" Cozy said as she examined the ride from a distance. "It looks awfully twisty and rickety. I'm not sure your stomach could handle it."
Sombra swelled up his chest, beaming with pride. "Of course, I the mighty Som- ur... father, can handle a ride like this with ease."
Despite his claim, five minutes later after riding the roller coaster, with its twist, spins and loopty loops, was now leaning over a garbage can, expelling the contents of his stomach into its foul depths.
"A-are you okay dad?" Cozy asked as she watched her comrade hunched over the metal trash can.
Pulling his head out of the can, Sombra gave Cozy a dirty look. "Yes, of course I'm ok-"
Before he could finish, Sombra's intestines gurgled, and he had to throw up a little bit more.
Once he was certain that his insides had truly settled, Sombra removed his head from the garbage can.
"Okay, I feel much better," Sombra grumbled, "now what would you like to do now?"
Cozy's eyes went wide. "Uh... Sombra you're missing something..."
"Why'd you call me Sombra?" Sombra asked, as he reached for his fake nose and mustache and discovered that his disguise was now missing.
Well, that certainly wasn't good.
"There they are!"
Turning toward the outburst, Sombra saw a group of ponies drawing near, among whom was the ice cream vendor and the balloon selling clown. Upon seeing Sombra's true identity, a hush came over the crowd.
"Oh, I can't believe it." The crowd murmured.
Sombra swelled his chest. 'Finally some ponies who recognize my greatn-'
"It's Cozy Glow," somepony in the crowd said, "the filly who trapped the Elements of Harmony in Tartarus and tried to steal all of the magic from Equestria!"
At that moment, Sombra wasn't sure if he should be proud of Cozy's villainous deeds or be angry that he was being overshadowed by this little brat.
"Get them!" Somepony in the crowd bellowed. The clown inflated a balloon before bending and twisting it into the shape of a pitchfork. The ice cream mare pulled out an ice cream cone, before lighting it on fire. All the members of the crowd looked at Sombra and Cozy Glow with angry eyes.
Nodding, Sombra turned to Cozy Glow. "Cozy, there's something we really need to do."
"What is it?" Cozy inquired.
"Run," Sombra said calmly, before he began trotting away, with Cozy following behind. The angry mob in pursuit.
Some say that Sombra and Cozy Glow are still running to this very day... or that they got turned into stone statues. Eh, potato, tomato.
