A Sans-ational Judge

by Remag

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Undertale, Princess Celestia, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1244

The lives of Equestian judges are fairly normal. Except for one.

They say there's a judge in Equestria with the special talent of discerning intent. He has a near spotless track record and the support of the Crown. This is a day in the life of said judge.

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there are shockingly few good undertale/mlp stories. like, you'd think there'd be more because of how popular both things are, but no.

Update 4/12: So I just found out someone did a reading of my story. Go check it out Here!

Published 2023-03-05 21:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-05 21:00:00 UTC

The Only Chapter

“Hmm…”

The pony squirmed in his seat, the judge staring at him from on high. He could feel his eyes seemingly drill into his very soul.

“He didn’t do it.”

The prosecution stood up, “Your honor, the evidence is quite clear on this matter, this pony was a part of the gang that stole 3 million bits out of the Bank of Equestria. You-“

“Let me ask you something hu-“ the judge shook his head, “pony. What, exactly, is my cutie mark?” The normally stalwart judge seemed to visibly cringe on saying those last words.

“It’s… a gavel, your honor, what does that-“

“Right. It’s a gavel. That makes me good at judging others intents. This man-- pony had no intent to steal from the banks, or at all. I request a full re-evaluation of the evidence before I make my final judgement, capeech?”

“C-capeech, your honor.”

“Cool. On that note, dismissed for the day, I'm tired.”

The judge walked out of the courtroom and into an adjacent room with only a bed. Before he could sleep, however, a pony opened the door, one that the judge was not excited to see.

“Sir, Princess Celestia is here to talk to you.”

Perhaps he had misjudged her, everyone’s gotta be wrong sometime-

“Oh, and you have some documents to sign when you’re done with your talk.”

Nevermind, his judging was immaculate. With a sigh, he chuckled and began to walk.

“Never let me catch a break, will ya Pepper Mill?”

The peach haired, red mare shook her head, “You did hire me, sir. Honestly I probably let you nap more than I should.”

“That’s why you’re the best secretary. Anyone else wouldn’t let me nap at all.”

The two of them made their way to a small conference room where Celestia and a few guards were located.

“Sup.”

Pepper Mill gave him the stink eye, but his grin only grew.

“Good evening, you two. Might I talk to your boss privately, miss Pepper Mill?”

“C-certainly!” Pepper Mill stepped out of the room.

“You all as well, guards. Dismissed.”

The guard on Celestia’s right nodded, “By your command.” They all left the room, making sure to close the door behind them.

“So. What’s up sun horse?”

Celestia scoffed at the nickname, “I do believe my title is a bit more than just ‘sun horse.’”

He chuckled, “Yeah, but saying your full title would take up the rest of this meeting. Speaking of, what’s up? You seem reminiscent.”

‘Sun horse’ chuckled, “As astute as always, skeleton. Do you know what day it is?”

“…Tuesday?” He hazard a guess. It was typically Pepper Mill’s job to remember the minute details.

“Wednesday, but that’s not the point. It’s the two year anniversary of your arrival, Sans.”

The former skeleton blinked, “Has it been that long already? Huh.”

“Yes, I just wanted to come in and do my bi-yearly checkup today.”

Sans visibly relaxed, “Yeah, that’s cool. I suppose I can put off my very important work for a while.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, “I presume you mean taking a nap?”

“Bingo.”

“Right, well, let’s get started,” Celestia picked up a clipboard in her magic, “How have you been these past few months?”

Sans pondered this question, “Oh I’ve been alright for the most part. Job’s been keeping me busy and all.” Celestia held a deadpan expression, “…should have known you weren’t gonna let me stop there. Ah well. So, I’ve been thinking about my brother a lot more recently. I’m… worried about him. Before I… well, left, my machine detected anomalies approximately two years from then. I’m… not sure if time works differently here, but if it doesn’t then…” he trailed off.

“I see. Your brother… Papyrus, was it? I assume this is why you haven’t been making many jokes as of late.”

Sans frowned, “Yeah. Hard to laugh when your brother could be in danger.” He went silent.

Celestia put a hoof on his shoulder, “If you want to move on, we can,” Sans just nodded, “Very well. It’s your turn.”

Sans shook his head for a moment and smiled again, “Alright then. How’s your research coming?”

It was Celestia’s turn to frown, “Not very well. Even with the help of the Elements, it seems like your universe is too far out to truly reach. We were planning on connecting to a universe that combines ours, but something is stopping us from entering.”

“Dad…”

“What was that?”

“If it’s what I think is happening, I may never get home.”

Celestia tilted her head, “You know about this? But then who-“

“He was the royal scientist to King Asgore. Fell down into one of his creations and... well, no one's remembered him since. At least, no one who wasn't me. I've since managed to talk to him twice. In those times, he seems to have taken up the role of guardian against other universes. I didn't know exactly what that meant at the time, though, as you may have guessed, after I got here, I could figure it out pretty quickly."

Celestia looked at Sans with hardened eyes, "Do you believe he would attack other universes?"

"Hmm... Unlikely. And even if he did, he'd likely only go after humans. Not like he can really do much being trapped within the void."

Her face softened, "Very well then. My next question, how are you adjusting to your new life?"

Sans's grin began to grow, "Well, it's nice finally seeing the sun again, diet's been an odd thing to have to adjust to, and having someone who can just enter your nightmares to stop them is something I wish we had in the Underground." Sans spaced out for a moment, "Overall, I think I'm adjusting very well."

"Very glad to hear that. I believe I should have time for one more question."

Sans thought for a minute. He only ever got this chance twice a year because of how busy they both typically are. Seeing her eyes, he got an idea.

"...Yeah, I think I've got something. Think I could meet your student one of these days? I believe I mentioned this before, but I never got a response."

Celestia's eyes widened, "I completely forgot! I meant to introduce you at the latest Gala, but the whole thing with Discord was too funny! It completely slipped my mind. My apologies. I'll set something up soon. In the meantime, I believe that's all the time I have to spare. It'd been a pleasure speaking to you, 'Comic'."

"Yeah, I've got important documents to go over in my head. Preferably with my eyes closed and snoring."

Celestia gave a small smile and opened the doors, "Let us depart, guards." They fell in line and began to leave. Before they could, though, Celestia looked back to the displaced monster and they nodded at one another. She exited the courtroom and Pepper Mill walked up to Sans.

"Comic, it's time for your documents." Sans smiled.

Yeah, he could have had it a lot worse.

Author's Note

I don't know where random inspiration comes from, but whenever it does, it really does.
Sans does not speak in lowercase because that looks ugly.

hey also i made a ko-fi. why? because i like money. making stuff for free is great and all but if there's no pressure on me to do better i tend to stagnate. money is a great incentive.