This is why Rainbow is not allowed to have cider
Twilight Sparkle was having a pleasant dream, she was in a never ending library reading all the books she could ever wish for.
Or she was until she was rudely awoken by the sound of something or somepony obnoxiously stomping around somewhere in her castle. She got up and groggily called out for her assistant, wondering if he was sleepwalking and mumbling about Rarity again. "Spike? Is that you?"
When the purple princess got no response she sat up in her bed and yawned, she looked over at her alarm clock that was on the nightstand next to her. It was 2am. Twilight groaned and forced herself to get out of her comfy bed to go and deal with whatever had woken her up.
She sighed and prayed to Celestia that it wasn't another otherworldly spirit, she had already banished a few of them from her castle in the last few months and she wasn't in the mood to deal with another one.
"Why the heck do they always want to come bother me at unreasonable hours? Can they not wait until after 8am?" She mumbled and let out another yawn, the poor purple nerd just wanted to go back to her dream library.
She made her way into the room that she assumed the noises were coming from and flipped the light switch, the magical chandelier lit up the room and that's when she noticed her prismatic maned Wonderbolt friend stretched out on the Friendship Map with a bottle of what Twilight could only assume was alcoholic cider in her grip.
"Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?"
"Twiiiiilight~" Rainbow purred, "Hello! Wh- What am I doing here? I dunno.. What am I doing here? I don't r-remember how I got here."
Twilight groaned and facehoofed, of course it was Rainbow Dash and of course she was drunk again. This was the second time that month that poor Twilight had to deal with her friend showing up drunk at her place, and she was getting maybe a little annoyed.
"Dash please, what have you been doing to get so intoxicated lately?"
"Well me an-" She hiccupped. "And Applejack were just hanging out and-" Dash hiccupped again. "And she- Oh.. I don't remember what she said. But we got some cider and we started drinking!"
Twilight took several deep breaths and nodded. She was exhausted and didn't appreciate her friend breaking into her home at 2am because she was drunk, in fact she didn't appreciate her breaking into her castle at all. "Oookay.. Do you need somewhere to sleep it off?"
"Yeah! A nap sounds good-" She hiccupped and took another swig of her drink, but since she was laying on her back on the map table she ended up spilling it all over her face. Rainbow groaned in frustration and brought the bottle up to her lips to try and suck any remaining nectar out.
The sleep deprived princess put a hoof to her temple, she felt a headache coming on and knew it was due to her now having to deal with a very intoxicated Rainbow Dash. "Can you walk?"
"I think soooo-"
"Do you need me to help you get to a guest bedroom?"
"Mmmm.. Probably."
"Fine, just don't vomit on me."
Rainbow giggled like a little filly and it was incredibly creepy. "No promises~"
Twilight rolled her eyes and walked over to where Rainbow was laying, she used her wings to help get Rainbow up and off the table. She let her lean on her while they very slowly walked to the exit of the room so Rainbow could be brought to a guest room and sleep off her drunkenness.
"Twi?"
"Hm? Yes Rainbow?"
"Ya don't-" She hiccupped and swayed a little where she stood. "Ya don't happen to have any more cider, do you?"
"No Rainbow, I don't." She lied, she definitely did but she wasn't about to let the already drunk Rainbow get any drunker. That and she was saving her alcohol for very special situations, like a huge friendship milestone or Flurry Heart's 21st birthday even though that was way off still.
"Awww, bummer. Cause I'm thirstyyyy.."
"I'll get you some water once you're in bed, don't worry."
"Wow you're the best egghead in existence Twi!"
The princess chuckled and resumed walking, making sure she held onto Rainbow Dash so she wouldn't fall over. She didn't have the energy nor patience to deal with her constantly falling over. "Well I'd hope I'd be at least a good egghead, Dash. After all you do occasionally call me the 'princess of nerds'."
"I do?"
"Mhm."
"Well you are a nerd. A-" She hiccupped again. "And you're the best nerd princess."
"Thank you Dashie, now come on. We're nearly to the guest room."
"Awesome."
"Awesome indeed."
Twilight's ears flicked when she heard a door open. She hoped it was Spike because she was going to scream and curse everything if it was a ghostly visitor deciding to make some mayhem at the worst moment possible. She breathed a sigh of a relief when she saw her draconic buddy walking up to her.
"Twilight? What's Rainbow doing here?"
"She's drunk Spike, I'm bringing her to a guest room so she doesn't go out and get herself either arrested or seriously injured. Speaking of, why are you up so early?"
Spike chuckled. "I woke up really thirsty so I was going to the kitchen to get some water and maybe a few gems."
"Ah, alright. But could you do me a favor and while you're in the kitchen could you grab a glass of water for Rainbow Dash? I would myself but I need to make sure she's not going to try and make a run for it the second I turn my back."
"Hey! I-I will not run. I'm too awesome and danger-" She paused for a hiccup that never came. "I run towards danger."
"I know Dashie, you're very awesome but you won't be awesome if you don't get some rest."
"Sure Twi, I'll be back soon."
Twilight smiled at her assistant and began walking again, she was so close to the guest room and if Rainbow Dash started being frustrating then she would just lift her up with her magic and force her into the room.
"Twi? Why do I- Ohhh Celestia-"
Twilight knew what that meant and immediately let go of her inebriated friend, she watched as she stumbled over to a wall and leaned on it. She also watched in pure horror as Rainbow heaved and projectile vomited all over the floor and even on some of the walls. "Sweet Celestia.."
Rainbow's vomiting eventually ceased and it prompted her to look at the mess she made. "Oh.. That's uncool-"
Twilight also looked at the disgusting alcoholic contents of Rainbow Dash's stomach all over the floor and gagged. She would prefer dealing with ghosts than have to clean up that.
"Okay Rainbow, you're getting into that room and you're taking a nap while I clean this disgusting mess."
"But-"
"No buts, you better get into that bed and sleep or I will make you."
Rainbow didn't protest and slowly staggered into the room, Twilight made sure she was in bed before closing the door and turning around to get a better look at what she was now going to have to clean. She scowled and pinched the bridge of her muzzle with her wing, she really needed a drink so she ignored the mess for the time being and trotted to the kitchen.
"Spike! Do you remember where I keep the cider?"
"Ones with the booze or-"
"Yes!"
"Is that really a good idea Twi? I mean Dash is drunk right now and she might do something stupid."
"Well if you go upstairs and look at the floors and walls you'll see why I need a drink."
"Oh Celestia, don't tell me she-"
Twilight nodded and snorted in exasperation. "Yes, Spike, she did. Now please.. I need a drink right now otherwise I'm going to lose my mind."
Spike nodded and quickly led Twilight to the stash of alcoholic cider she kept.
"Thank you Spike."
"Mhm, don't do anything you'll regret later Twilight."
"I doubt I will, but thank you." She levitated two bottles of the boozy cider to her and popped the cap off one, taking a big swig of it. She really wasn't going to enjoy cleaning up her friend's disgusting mess.
