Ballad of Big Mac

by Prisoner 24601

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Rarity, Tragedy, Big Macintosh, Human
Length: 1744

The Horrible secret of Big Mac

The day Big Mac came to Equestria, he was but a small colt. He told his story to passersby, but nopony believed him. Eventually, Applejack and Granny Smith found him, and brought him in. Except, they believed his story. They swore they would never tell anypony. But promises sometimes cannot be kept when you're the element of Honesty, and so the secret slips one night, and Applejack couldn't feel more guilty.

Published 2012-09-27 12:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-07 20:55:58 UTC

Prologue: The Sleepover

Applejack and Rarity had met up at her butique. Usually, the two mares couldn't stand each other on account of their opposite personalities, but once every week, the mares agreed to tolerate each other for Twilight. Those days were the days of Twilight's weekly slumber party. Today, when they met up around three in the afternoon, they went straight to Twilights library. Applejack knocked on the door with her leg while Rarity shine her hooves clean of dirt. Spike answered the door, and was confronted by the two.

He exitedly said, "Oh, hey Applejack! Hey, Rari ... Rari ... Twilight!" He called over his shoulder, too nervous to address Rarity. This brought slight laughter from the two mares, and as Twilight came down the stair, Spike was dismissed.

After she and Rarity were invited in, Applejack made sure Spike had left earshot, and said, "heh. That little fella. Quite a nervous little one, ain't he?" Then she looked at Rarity. Everypony-even Rarity- knew that Spike had a huge adoration for the platinum mare.

Rarity just shrugged the comment aside nervously, and said, "He's probably just a bit shy around me because he knows I don't like getting grease and dirt in my beautiful mane and coat. I'm sure it's not...that." She ended with a tone of almost disgust. She didn't want to be associated with rumor passing of Spike-it was too unladylike-even though she knew his lust to be true. She simply pretended as if she knew nothing to keep Spike's good image afloat.

Twilight led the girls upstairs to her bedroom. She sat herself down on her own bed, and Applejack and Rarity took the guest bed across from it. Twilight opened her end table, and pulled out three sheets of paper. She held onto one, and handed the other two to Applejack and Rarity. "Now," she began, "Let's go over the agenda."

Agendas were just common procedure with the violet mare. Everything needed to be scheluded, planned, and carefully organised. These agendas were nothing new to the slumber parties, and Applejack and Rarity followed along as Twilight read from her own. "Number one." she began "We will have the pre-party pillow fight. Number two, simple games will be played, including, but not limited to, Truth or Dare, makeovers, tic-tac-toe, etc. Number three, the preparation of smor'z downstairs, and finally, Number four, a finale to the pre-party pillow fight, the post-party pillow fight will follow the rules of Pillowarfare. Numer five, we sleep the rest of the short night and dawn. Everypony clear?"

Applejack and Rarity both nodded their heads in understanding, and gave the sheets back to Twilight. They always looked forward to number four, as it was the only time violence was permitted between the two. But first, the pre-party pillow fight. Twilight charged downstairs, and opened the closet. Instantly, a mountain of pillows came toppling down onto the pony, who popped her head out the top. She gave the other two 15 pillows each, leaving 20 for herself, and gave them ten minutes to secure a fort.

AJ leaped over to the window, put a pillow down, and stuck her hoof on top of it to represent it as being her area. Rarity chose the center of the stairs as her property. Then Twilight went over the rules again: three lives for each pony, one pillow equals one life, and a maximum of five pillows can be bought at a time from the store. All three ponies set up their forts of fiteen, and were given an arsenal of 20 pillows each.

Then, Twilight shouted, "FIGHT!" and it was on. Immediately, Rarity's fort was bombarded by pillows of both Twilight's and Applejacks, but she returned fire to the purple unicorn. AJ joined her, and sent pillows over the balcony blindly, hoping for them to hit Twilight. Then, Rarity's fires began dimming, and she said, "Twilight, I need an order of 10 pillows."

Twilight levitated these to her, and instead of going back her way, they flew upstairs, straight into Applejack's fort! She was renovating, and improving the defences when a stream of pillows shot at her, demolishing her foundation, and taking away two lives. Applejack said, "I've got one life left!" to confirm the toll. Then, both mares fired pillow after pillow at her, until she started fighting back. She bucked a pillow or two in Twilight's direction, then a whole flurry at Rarity. Both mares recieved one hit, and finally, a pillow sent by Rarity connected with AJ's ribcage, forcing her to give out a sign. "Time!" she shouted, and Twlight replied with her time: 2:54, a new low. Applejack wasn't in the game that day, probably because of her renovations.

Then Applejack watched for ten minutes as pillow flew from the fort on the stairs to the forst by the closet, and visa versa. And finally, to finish the game, Twilight struck the most important broomstick mast in Rarity's fort, and it all collapsed on her, leaving her vulnerable to at least twenty more shots. She shouted through impacts, "Time!" and Twilight stopped, and gave her her time: 13:34, a new record! They celebrated as Twilight still took the top of the leaderboard for the first time, with a time of 13:35. Then, they cleaned the pillows, and retired upstairs to play games.

The first one to play was Tic-tac-toe, which through the championship, Rarity was the winner. Then, they played Truth or Dare.

Twilight went first, requesting a 'Truth'. Applejack and Rarity thought it over, and decided on one thing. AJ asked, "What was yer life like, livin in Canterlot?"

A mediocre question, but neither of the friends could come up with anything better. Twilight's answer was long winded and over explanitory, and took well over fifteen minutes to tell, but whe it was all over, it had given Applejack time to think of something good for Rarity.

Rarity chose 'Dare', much to Applejack's delight. She told her plan over to Twilight, and both ponies giggled, then Twilight said, "Applejack and I dare you to go downstairs, and give Spike a long kiss, full on the lips." The two ponies broke into laughter as Rarity's cheeks became a color brighter than rose. She accepted, walked downstairs, and past the closed door. Even though they couldn't hear the kiss itself, they knew she had done it when Spike's shouts of delight reached them even upstairs. They were louder when Rarity opened the door to come back, but when she closed it, the dragon's squels were still very audible.

They rested again, and Applejack requested a 'Truth'. Being the element of honesty, she felt truth suited her more than a dare would. Twilight ad Rarity discussed, and came up with the question Applejack prayed they wouldn't. Rarity asked, "Tell us the story about Big Macintosh."

AJ gulped as she explained the heart-wrenching, barely believeable, soul touching ballad of Big Macintosh.

Chapter 2: Mac Toshworth

It's a hassal writing in AJ's dialect, so I'll just write this as if
I'm Applejack, and you-the audiance- can represent Twilight and Rarity.
Here goes...

Big macintosh was once something very different from a pony. He actually started his journey as a human. He awoke one morning to the TV on downstairs in his apartment. He went there to see his 18 year old son sitting in front of the television, watching something he couldn't make out. All he knew was that it involved a lot of colors, mostly consisting of pink. As he rubbed his eyes to focus, he saw that this TV show was about brightly colored horses. His son had no idea he was there.

"Jacob?" Big Mac said. In this time before he was a pony, his name was just Mac. "What are you watching?"

Mac's son, Jacob, jumped from his seat. He was what you'd expect of an urban teen living in New York City: Leather jacket, aviators, body piercings, bright blue mohawk, etc. etc. He was probably the least likely of anyone to be watching a show about... Mac didn't even know! He studdered for a bit, then said, "D-dad, don't get mad at me... It was My Little Pony..."

Mac couldn't be angry at a time like this. All emotions turned to hysteria as an endless plain of laughter washed over him. He focused his eyes on the screen again, trying with all his willpower to hold back another surge of guffaws. He studied the ponies. There was an orange one, and a purple one... and a crowd of other ponies around what appeared to be a gazebo.

He stood there and watched for a few minutes, until Jacob said, "Dad... just give them a chance. I swear you'll like the show as long as you give it a chance..." He seemed hopeful that his dad would become a fan. That would mean he had no chance of enbarrasment unless Mac got some, too.

Mac just stood there, then he looked at Jacob. He thought for a while while he stared into his son's eyes, then said, "Alright. Show me the first episode, and we can work our way up from there."

You might be thinking, 'well that was an easy descision on Mac's part. Ahaw. This story jumps to comlusions and has no real filling. Ahaw.' But put those suspiscions to rest, because this actually was an easy descision. He didn't know why, but there was something illustrious and alluring about the show to Mac.

Anyway, Jacob did show his dad the first episode of season one, and the next, and the next, until Mac decided he needed some sleep, halfway through 'Party of One'. He didn't want to leave the show as it was, but he did need some sleep. SO, considering that the next day, when Jacob is at school, his wife is at work, and Mac had the day off, he decided to watch the rest of season one and season two.

He was obsessed. He wrote Fanfiction on FIMfiction.net, he drew and painted on deviantart.com, and he even created custom shirts and hats online! Yet, throughout all of it, nobody in his family (besides Jacob, of course) knew. He liked it that way. But after he had had his fill of the work that comes with being a brony, he retired into just reading endless fics and endless EQD posts. He had found the goldmine to life.