I stood there in absolute shock as that face, that horrible face, filled up the monitor. A face which consisted primarily of heterochromic eyes staring out of the screen, a smug smile filling up the bottom half of the display, and a distinct aura of madness that composed his emotions. That, and a rather familiar rugby shirt, meant that I knew all too well who this figure was.

Back in the human world, anypony (or anybody, I guess) who moved at all in internet circles would have been familiar with a person called Chris Chan. He was a person from a place called Virginia in the United States, who was mainly known for his bizarre hijinks on the internet and his frequent run ins with law enforcement, not to mention his incredibly childish nature and complete lack of fashion sense. If the comparison makes sense, imagine Wallace from Wallace & Gromit but with none of the inventing skills or the friendliness.

Oh? What's Wallace & Gromit, I hear you ask? Sorry, I'll explain later. One downside of being formerly British is forgetting what cultural references people may get. As I say, I'll explain later.

Most recently, Chris had been leading a one man crusade against the most recent version of My Little Pony, specifically the world that me and my friends now inhabit. Nopony could truly understand what about it made him so irrationally angry to the point he punched holes in the walls of his bathroom and uploaded angry rants onto the internet. He then got rather abruptly packed off to jail for unrelated charges, so he fell silent for a while (and had indeed still been silent when I'd been transported to Equestria all that time ago).

I looked to one side, and saw a look of recognition in Sunny and Izzy's faces- the lack of surprise in their eyes was telling. Had they run into this guy before? I would have to ask them about it.

Suddenly, the figure on the screen began to speak. And it was not nice to listen to. "Well, hello there, everybody. I'd like to say it's nice to see you. But it isn't."

Urgh! Listening to that voice again with its nasally tones and loud pitch really made my ears bleed. I'd rather listen to nails being dragged down a chalkboard. "What are you doing here, Chris?" I asked.

"Well, that's easy," Chris smirked. His shit eating grin was really starting to irk me. "I arrived here with the help of the Nova Charm that an ally snuck into the prison. Getting things in through letters was absurdly easy- after all, who would send dangerous things to a madman?"

Nova Charm? What was he talking about? I was hopelessly confused. "Sorry, what?"

"I wouldn't be surprised that you don't understand what I'm talking about, given your inferior intellect," Chris said. "But then again, I'm not too surprised the Rainbow Dash copy wouldn't understand anything. Nor any of you demons in disguise, sent on behalf of Babylon to conquer our world."

"You take that back!" Pipp shouted. "Zipp had more talent in one hoof than you have in your whole body!"

"Given your creative process just consists of smashing random properties together and hoping nopony will notice," Hitch added. His look of realisation suggested he also had encountered this guy.

I noticed that Chris' facade seemed to have cracked for a moment, as he launched off into a rant. "MY WORKS ARE PARODIES! PARODIES! THAT MEANS THEY ARE LEGALLY DISTINCT! ROSECHU WEARS A DIFFERENT COLOURED DRESS TO AMY ROSE AND DOESN'T HAVE FOREHEAD SPINES! AND AMY ROSE DOESN'T HAVE A TAIL!"

Dad looked in confusion. "What the Feathers is he blabbering on about?"

"I'll explain later," I said. "Look, what do you want?"

"What did we ever do to you, Chris?" Izzy asked.

"You already know that, Diet Pinkie Pie," Chris said. The flash of anger on Izzy's face suggested this was something of a bezerk button for her. "Your very world existing is an insult and a danger to the entire future of humanity. For it was your world being revealed to us that undermined the Dimensions and brought about the invasion."

I saw Sunny shake her head. "Such a self entitled sack of shit," she said. "Stop talking in riddles and say what you mean!"

"Sure thing," Chris smiled. "Your movie being released was the start of a propaganda move to legitimise the invasion of Ukraine by Russia. This is proven by the license granted in 2021, Brian Goldner's death later that year, and the removal of vodka from grocery store shelves."

I had to stop for a moment to process the sheer amount of stupid I had just heard. "Chris, those are all wholly unrelated things, not to mention the war in Ukraine began seven years before A New Generation came out," I said. "Besides, if Hasbro was colluding with the Russian state, wouldn't America have slapped sanctions on them?"

Chris seemed to be annoyed that I'd dismantled his logic. "You won't be so smart with your mouth once we're done here," he said. "I will be able to sit here whilst you and your idiot friends burn in the blue cleansing flames of Hell."

This seemed to disturb Misty, who stepped backwards to generate more space between her and the screen.

"And don't fear, I intend to deal with Opaline as well," Chris said. "But I really must thank you all for your hard work over the last few days. I've been playing all of you like a fiddle, and merrily you have all danced to my tune."

"Played?" Mom ventured. "Whatever could you be talking about?"

"That general you just killed? I supplied him with the hardware he needed to conduct his little coup, and this distracted you. Once your three tribes were at each others throats, you fired nuclear missiles at one another- and with that out of the way there is nothing to threaten my invasion fleet."

Wait. Chris had used us to do his dirty work?

Before I could speak, Mom spoke again. "You monster. You won't get away with this!"

"Dial it back before you have a heart attack, you old B Dog."

"HOW DARE YOU-!"

"None of you can challenge me. Watch as my power in this world rises, unchallenged!"

Suddenly, there was a blast of light, and Izzy looked scared. "Guys? My sparkle's picking up something bad! It's pretty dark!"

We looked into the sky, and suddenly a vast fleet of saucer shaped craft had appeared in the skies over our world. More and more of them appeared in bright flashes of light as they slowly blotted out the sun.

"The dimensions are a handy place for hiding those forces you want hidden," Chris said. "You see, I was testing your ingenuity, your skill, when I attacked in my walkers and mechs. Not to mention the dreamscape, though that seems not to have worked." He smiled. "Yes, Sunny, I sent those nightmares. Such a shame that the Ancient One kept interrupting them and interfering with my plans. If she just stopped resurrecting the ponies my life would be so much easier!"

He finally stopped pontificating. "Now, your world will be destroyed, scoured of life- and nobody can stop me. I really must thank you for your efforts in helping me do this. NOW GO, MY MINIONS! DROWN THEM IN THE FLAMES, THE CLEANSING BLUE FLAMES!"

The craft we could see suddenly started flying in all sorts of directions, seemingly ordered to go to different places.

"Staltenburg's reporting large numbers of craft overhead!" shouted a soldier.

"Ghastly Gorge is under attack! Fighters have been scrambled!"

Another soldier looked at a display. "It's not just us," he said. "These craft are targeting unicorn and earth pony settlements as well!"

"Uhh, guys, what are we gonna do?" Misty asked.

"How can we fight back?" Sprout asked. "This isn't what I had in mind at all!"

I slumped on my back hooves. I knew I'd been brought here by a special purpose for a special reason- after all, nothing happens for no reason- but surely that purpose can't have been to mess everything up! This was all going so horribly, horribly wrong.

Just then, I heard a message playing in my mind. "Never lose hope, my Little Pony," said a voice. "This may seem dire, but things will be well."

I got up and looked as the fleet continued to move. "We need to fight back," I said.

"How?" Hitch asked. "Where are we going to get the resources from to fight back? We've exhausted our own strength retaking Zephyr Heights!"

"It's better than doing nothing!" I said. "Mom, any thoughts?"

Mom thought for a moment, then had an idea. "We retook Zephyr Heights working together. Therefore, we need to do the same here!"

But it seemed hard. The enemy ships were many, and our numbers few. It truly seemed an insurmountable obstacle.

But then again, so did Nazi Germany in 1940.

Author's Note

Welcome back, and I am proud to showcase the newest chapter of Rebirth of Magic: Zipping It! I am aware this is a bit late, but unfortunately life-related things got a bit in the way.

There are numerous Chris Chan references in this chapter, many of them pertaining to his nonsensical crusade against MLP G5. In one video, it was revealed that there were sizable dents in the wall of his bathroom, which observers quickly speculated were the result of Chris punching it out of anger for G5. This is also suggested in the last video he uploaded before his arrest, in which he is noticably angrier than in videos uploaded earlier in 2021:

Honestly, it is scary to see a man get this angry over a kid's cartoon.

The other major references relate to a video he released in February 2024, after a spate of blocking voice actors involved in MLP G5 (including Vanessa Hudgens, whom he had previously had a crush on- presumably voicing Sunny was too much of a betrayal). In the video, he seriously posits that MLP G5 was the first stage of a media blitz by Russia to legitimise their invasion of Ukraine, drawing connections between wholly unrelated events in a manner not disimilar to a conspirary theorist. This argument, of course, makes no sense whatsoever to anybody who thinks about it for more than two seconds. Chris would also directly state that the MLP G5 characters would be sent directly to Hell. Given that Chris believes that Sunny and her friends actually exist in a parallel reality, this constitutes a death threat.

Others are more subtle. B-Dog is an insult he uses against women he dislikes (notably an administrator at the community college he went to when she tried to stop him breaking college rules), whilst the Rosechu rant was a common one when he was trying to prove that he hadn't simply ripped off Amy Rose when creating the character.

But now the enemy are in their world! How will Zipp and her friends get out of this one?