Sure enough, music had started, and Izzy suddenly slammed down a projector, which made us all jump. A pair of glasses had appeared on her face, and she started to sing. The screen behind us projected a few scenes of seemingly racist propaganda, which had lines drawn to the faces of earth ponies and pegasi and personality features indicated from their features. Great, looks like we can't escape phrenology here either.

"I thought Earth ponies were the pony ladder's bottom rung!" Izzy sang, pointing to the image on the screen, before turning her attention to Pipp.

"I heard that Pegasi were brutes you'd hate to be among!"

Abruptly, she sang in my ear. "You smell like fishes!" Well, that's rude.

She then stopped next to Pipp's ear. Normally she'd have sung this to both Pipp and Zipp, but given one of them wasn't there she didn't have a choice. "You're vicious! I bet you eat your young!"

Pipp glanced at me, rolling her eyes.

Izzy then dashed away, before continuing her vocal line. "Meet any one of you, the thing to do is run away!"

However, things suddenly changed. I knew what was coming next, but Sunny and Pipp bounced forward to join Izzy for some brief dancing.

"But although I know we're all a bunch of different breeds/
Take away our wings and horns, and we're just frightened steeds/
So let's put aside our differences, 'cause what we need's a win!
Oh-oh-oh!"

Izzy then dashed up her stairway, or the ramp that served as a stairway, and leaned back to look at us as if she was trying to remove an annoying itch from her shoulders.

"Come on, rip out all the pages of your history books/
Just because we're undercover doesn't mean we're crooks!"

As I glanced back to see Misty and Sprout just moving backwards and forwards awkwardly to the beat, I suddenly teleported to the upper level. Before I could process would was going on, I was suddenly loaded into a chair and was fired across the building.

"When we walk, you through the crowd and give your brand-new looks a spin!
You're gonna fit right in!"

Izzy's voice got quieter and quieter as I rocketed into the bathroom, before stopping in front of a mirror. Suddenly, the chair started spinning, and I closed my eyes. Now would not be a good time to mention that I do not cope well with spatial disorientation.

No sooner had I stopped, then Izzy was slapping makeup onto my face. I sighed internally. I looked like a clown, and I don't want to be mean, but the makeup looks like it was applied by a five year old.

I groned. "This is a new low."

Izzy, however, took no notice whatsoever. "You're gonna fit right in."

If this really was her plan, I had questions. "It's never gonna work!" I said, as I span the chair around and Izzy vanished.

"They taught us unicorns were super-scary maniacs/
With horns like razors and tongues like tasers and teeth like tacks!"

Behind me, Izzy appeared behind a shower curtain in a recreation of a scene from a certain horror film before pulling the curtain back- revealing she was carrying a hairdryer. Oh. That's an improvement.

"They take your hooves and then they grind them into midnight snacks!"

Izzy then produced a box of what appeared to be cereal, labelled 'grinded pony hooves'. Izzy Moonbow; teaching foals bad grammar since 2021.

"The basic gist of it is unicorns are not okay!" I mean, I didn't actually hold the view, but I had to make the most of my fifteen minutes of fame.

Before I knew what was happening, we were both suddenly teleported into Izzy's main room. Stop teleporting me about like I'm in an MMO! I can walk, you know!

We were both facing Sunny, who was standing in front of two spinning umbrellas.

"Look, I know we're riskin' everything for this endeavor/
But look at us, we're brave and strong and weird and clever/
Plus closer to the finish than we've ever, ever been!
Whoa-oh-oh!"

I don't remember those lines in the film. Oh no. Is this version of the movie using the album soundtrack? If so, I'm stuffed.

Izzy then jumped in with her own lines.

"So we better take a leap and put our faith in you/
Get our crafty on with sparkles, tape, and super glue!"

Then something weird happened. The next section of music occurred, but nothing else happened. Sunny and the rest of us just stood there awkwardly, as the music just continued to loop behind us and Misty and Sprout awkwardly turned umbrellas.

We all looked around. Were there some extra words we'd somehow forgotten?

Izzy, however, figured out what was going on. "Cause we're running out of options," she quickly prompted Sunny. Thank hoofness. I didn't want to be stuck in this loop for the rest of my life.

Sunny shook her head. "Oh!" She then started singing.

"Cause we're runnin' out of options and we're desperate to begin!"

"You're gonna fit right in!"

I laughed nervously. "If you say so."

"You're gonna fit right in!" Everybody chorused- including Sprout, to my surprise.

"I know you will, now watch and learn!" Izzy said, as the random teleportation started again. First we were on a staircase.

"This is how a unicorn walks!" (walks)

This staircase then collapsed and we fell into some chairs.

"This is how a unicorn talks!" (talks)

Before we were suddenly teleported to a basketball court. "This is how a unicorn hoops!" (hoops?)

We then started throwing basketballs- and missed with the lot.

The music stopped again as we missed some words. "Can somepony fill in Zipp's words, please?" I asked.

Sprout looked over. "The sun was in my eye!"

"This is how a unicorn struts! (Pipp added the last word again in the backing vocals)
"Oh, watch us shake our unicorn butts!" (I rolled my eyes and added the last word myself. They really couldn't have thought of a different rhyme?)

And then we were suddenly on a stage. I was completely disoriented now.

"Now you're in the unicorn know!" (Sunny added 'whoa' whilst gazing into Izzy's eyes. You know, I think she may have a thing for Izzy.)
"Soon you'll be a unicorn pro!"

Izzy then grabbed a hat and started rapping in front of some brightly coloured backgrounds.

"Oh, a unicorn horn makes a unicorn stride/
It's the more-head on your forehead, it's the source of your pride!
Every unicorn who's born has worn a horn that's unique/
So we'll whip them up as we speak, you'll be lookin' très magnifique!

"We'll fake a phony protrusion to make a bony illusion/
It's not the perfect solution, but the world's not big on inclusion!
And with those rocks in our pockets, we'll reap the reward/
And folks'll be floored, we'll strike a new chord/
Our magic restored!!"

Then we got teleported to a rainbow void with Sunny and Izzy dueting.

"Lately, all Equestria has lost its heart/
But if we can help to find it, we should play our part!"

Time for my last big of singing in the movie. "If we fail, we'll go to prison!"

Sunny then jumped in. Personal space, Sunny! "But if not, we'll start to grin!"

"So let's begin!" Izzy added.

We then got teleported back to Izzy's house, and we were suddenly in our disguises. But we still sang the backing vocals.

"We're gonna fit right in!
We're gonna fit right in!
We're gonna fit right in!
We're gonna fit right in!" (we're gonna fit right in)

We then all marched past the camera like is was a fashion show and out the door.

Izzy, naturally, was singing.

"This is how a unicorn walks!
This is how a unicorn talks!
Now you're lookin' unicorn strong!
This is how a unicorn..."

Sunny stopped next to her.

"...ends this song!"

They then slammed the door, and we were finally on our way.

So, we were on our way. A brief chat with Sunny revealed she'd had a similar problem with forgetting words and music looping in Maretime Bay, when she'd been required to sing 'gonna be my day'. She'd been here for a while, then.

We made our way to the tearooms (and I forgot about the importance of mayonnaise), before we stopped and watched Sunny make her gamble with Alphabittle.

Hang on a second. Risk the pegasus crystal? If we do that we're in deep trouble if she loses!

Sunny reached for the rubix cube, but Alphabittle snatched it away and instead ordered them to bring out 'the ultimate challenge'.

Oh no. This was a dancing game. And it was a good thing I wasn't doing this, as I sucked at these back in my old life. I walked over to watch. "Sunny's you'd better know what you're doing, or else we're all utterly screwed."

The two contestants took their positions. Well, it was now or never. The fate of the world hung on a dancing game.

Author's Note

Hitch briefly alludes to phrenology, an infamous racist pseudoscience which attempted to claim personality features could be determined from physical features. To absolutely nobody's surprise, it was used as a justification for both slavery and segregation as it was 'claimed' the facial features of Black Americans made them naturally docile. The science is, of course, nonsense, a point reinforced in the movie by the fact the three pony types use the same base character model.

Spatial disorientation is a phenomenon where the fluid in the ears that helps establish location and direction is disrupted, rendering the subject unable to establish their heading. Spinning excessively is a common cause of this problem, as the liquid ends up sloshed all over the ears, but it can also be a serious problem in pilots; some accident have been caused by the condition.

Fifteen Minutes of Fame is an expression associated with artist Andy Warhol, and is often used to indicate one should make the most of their moment in the spotlight.

And now, the dancing game is underway! What will happen next? Find out in tomorrow's exciting installment!