So, it seemed I was back in with the crazy times, it seemed. An awful lot had happened in the last few minutes, so naturally I was pretty confused at all the new revelations dumped on top of one another.

First, getting the crystals together at once early was a great achievement, if I do say so myself, as I felt it could save us time. Unfortunately, the plan had come unstuck just the way it had done in the original movie. Alphabittle had figured out Sunny wasn't quite who she claimed she was, and this had caused things to turn sour at the last moment.

But we'd been able to escape, but not before learning Misty was Alphabittle's daughter. I guess, looking back at it, I can see the resemblance between Misty and Alphabittle, but that was not something I'd honestly thought to look for. Clearly I needed to check my perception stat and put a few points into it when I next levelled up.

We'd also run into the pegasi again (whom I barely knew at this point), but not only did the Queen bring a small army with her, she also brought Zipp (as she'd been captured based on what I'd been told). So those two were back, and she had even brought her husband with her.

You heard that right. The one whom so many had assumed been dead for so long. It turned out he'd been hiding in the background the entire time, which is pretty impressive. I'm not sure I could have lived off the land for close to a decade out there in this world, so that was that.

Naturally, with so many parents being revealed, I was wondering if we'd ever find mine. Hitch's parents were yet to be mentioned at all in G5 as far as I knew, and this was a bit surprising as if his folks were no longer around, how did he live? Had he lived with the Cloverleafs the entire time? Though that would explain an awful lot about Hitch's attitudes and behaviours.

I continued to think as well. Sunny's dad was accounted for (deceased, as far as we knew- I hadn't had time to check the graveyard to see if his grave was there), but her mom was also not in the picture. Possibly the same thing, or perhaps in another land.

Mind, it was a bit strange there were no pictures of her in the Lighthouse. Perhaps there was something being hidden from view to keep evidence out of the hooves of somepony or other.

Alphabittle and his troops had then turned up, and war was only narrowly averted by a well timed broadcast from Gulfstream showing how far off the rocker he's become. So, we formed an alliance to bring him down- a process in which the bulk of us had no say whatsoever.

Great. I love it when I'm voluntold into doing stuff. That was sarcasm, by the way. I hate it, because it's often stuff I'd rather not do.

It would have been better if getting there had been simple and easy, but our large group size meant that simply travelling across the country was going to be a logistical nightmare. Unlike the small group I'd been part of, who had been easily able to hoof it across rough terrain and find their way through forests and under small trees and mountains, we now had a full army to keep an eye on and ensure wasn't wandering off to places it shouldn't go- I doubted high command would tolerate Izzy's tendancies to randomly goof off and do random stuff.

So, that was that. We were loaded onto the backs of some tanks that Queen Haven had somehow brought with her (talk about a remarkable stroke of luck, eh), and were sitting there whilst they rattled along with the rest of the soldiers marching on the ground, as opposed to the sky. The unicorns were marching too, and brought some of their own tanks, meaning the sky was full of fumes and loud noise.

And when I say rattled, I mean rattled. I've travelled on smoother ships to the Isle of Man. They rolled and rocked about, without any of the smoothness from a heavy tank that I had hoped for.

It didn't help that all the soldiers didn't seem to be taking this hugely seriously. They were, instead, seemingly more interested in annoying each other by playing marches from their respective nations incredibly loudly, which was only serving to give everypony else a splitting headache.

My friends seemed to agree. Sunny had her hooves jammed over her ears. Pipp was trying to listen to music, but I suspect even the loudest pop would struggle to outdo massed brass and drums. Maybe she should try heavy metal instead, although she hasn't really got the voice for it.

Sunny was also trying to read, which didn't help her case all that much. The tank commander wasn't all that sympathetic. "Sorry, princess, but these vehicles weren't designed as luxury vehicles." The frown on his face reminded me of one of my geography teachers, who had always seemed to have a frown on his face. "They're intended to dominate the battlefield. So either put up or shut up."

This seemed to annoy Sunny. "I'm not a princess!" she said, looking aghast. And indeed she was not, or is not. Slapping glowing wings and a horn on a pony do not a princess make.

Oh, I've rather given away where this goes, haven't I? Ah well, you know things end for us at least on a somewhat positive note, as we're here, and telling you the story.

The tank commander snorted at her response. "Whatever you say."

We were still on the move well into the evening and night, but picking up some more allies certainly helped to alleviate our soldier problems. I was about to say manpower problems, but given that we are ponies that would sound weird. Stallionpower?

No, that has a lot of unfortunate connotations (given that plenty of mares serve in the military around here). I'll come up with a word at some point.

That night, we pitched camp in the foothills that surround Zephyr Heights. As I'd climbed my way up and down the rockface when I first arrived here, I hadn't been aware of a road that led into and out of the city. Then again, if I'd tried that I'd probably have been hit by a passing road vehicle or gotten stuck by security at border control. So going in the hard way had paid dividends in the long term.

Now we were gathered around in a large tent on the base, eating a meal in a tavern atmosphere. No doubt this had been done to maintain moral and keep the spirits of the soldiers up. Doing that is always important before a battle- if the soldiers get the impression their commanders don't care, they're less likely to perform well on the battlefield. It's a careful balancing act- you need to care, but not be so attached you're not prepared to do what's neccesary on the field of war.

So, I was thinking to myself as we ate, which translated to me not saying an awful lot to the others. After that car crash all those (what felt like) months ago, I was now in this world, roaming through an adventure of my own which had taken me all over the place.

But now it had thrown a curveball and given me a war to content with. Possibly two, if the rumours of the earth ponies rearming were anything to go by. I still had to have a word with Sprout about that, although he was busy burying his muzzle in Misty's neck. I have no clue what that's all about.

I had never planned on going to war at all. As a human I didn't make the recruitment criteria, and although not a walking tub of lard I wasn't in the best of shape. But now, a handsome sheriff with pretty good physique and a paid off mortgage, I was finding myself stuck in the fires and hinterlands of an ethnic conflict.

Two tribes, allied to fight the worst of another, who was seemingly ready to destroy the world. And I thought having to cope with Chris was enough of a hoof fool for me.

As the night went on, I tried to enjoy myself, but it was hard when two of us were at another end of the room. Pipp and Zipp had to eat with the rest of the important ponies, leaving us down here. Almost as if we weren't important.

Of course, I knew she didn't think like that. The last few days had shown me a mare I'd assumed to be spoiled and stuck up to have quite the heart of gold and a fair bit of loyalty.

Hopefully that would get us out of this fix.

Author's Note

Welcome back to another chapter with Hitch! After a while of focusing on the perspectives of the female characters, it was time to return to one of the two males of the group to get his perspective on things. And, as per previous chapters, it's a good deal more cynical than the others.

The Isle of Man is an island off the coast of the United Kingdom, which can only be accessed by sea or air. The sea crossing from Liverpool is notoriously rough, and completing the passage without throwing up is considered an achievement. The fact that Hitch considers that smoother than the tanks should give a hint as to how rough the tank suspension is.

The heavy metal joke is a reference to this story:

T😭 CONFESSION: Pipp responds to the scandalous allegations against her

• MLP Gen 5
• Dark
• Slice of Life

I’m Princess Pipp Petals. And this is my dark teenage past that I’ve never told anypony about...until today. I admit it. I’m a…

• Profanity
• Suicide / Self Harm
• Alt. Universe
• Pipp

Pipp Petals · 1.7k words  ·  26  2 · 719 views

Hitch's reflections on the scenario are intended to get us up to speed on things again, not to mention I've been having similar thoughts myself as I try to figure out what direction to take my life in.

We shall resume tomorrow, with battle plans.