Rainbow unfurled her healthy left wing and rested her feathers over her eyes to protect her vision from cascading rays of blinding light. Her bleary eyes cracked open and she gazed into the cyan sky. The grand yellow sun above, offering soothing warmth and comfort with its sublime presence, was flanked by cheerful cumuli of the white, puffy variety indigenous to home.

With much exertion, she rose to her hooves. She scrubbed the dirt from her face and raised her head, examining her surroundings. All around was luscious green grass and gorgeous flowers flourishing in the sunlight. Robust elm trees grasped for the comfort of Princess Celestia's benevolent sun.

Behind, at the bottom of the crater that had formed as a result of her crash, shone a glint of light. She realized, with a start, it was the sapphire pendant. She clutched its mangled chain and raised it before her eyes. Its elegant gemstone had been scuffed and scratched in the fury of the battle. A bullet had ricocheted off of its hard surface, creating a visible indentation. She had been clutching it before she lost consciousness, and then, after regaining consciousness and awakening, it was with her.

Had it possessed enough power to return her home?

Not caring enough to consider the possibility, Rainbow tossed the pendant aside, as it no longer held value to her anymore. That which had lied adjacent to it in the crater was far more valuable: a broken metal chain threading two defaced dog tags. She cradled the memento in her mouth securely and emerged from the shallow grave. Her leaden left wing unfurled and drew across the ground as she dragged her tremendously-heavy body.

The crystal-clear water of a nearby river reflected a battered visage of Rainbow she didn't recognize. Her cerise eyes, once brimming with exuberance, were pale and anemic. She held her quivering hooves before herself to analyze them and realized they were coated in blood that wasn't her own. Her mouth gaped open in horror and the dog tags dropped into the grass below.

"Aughh!" She howled in anguish and collapsed onto her haunches, punching the ground furiously with her hooves. Boiling-hot tears burst forth from her eyes, streaking through her facial fur and trailing down her cheeks. She tried desperately to breath, but the involuntary quaking of her torso forced the fresh air from her lungs. With the pittance of air she managed to breathe, she could muster nothing but sobs.

Briefly, the hysteria inundating her quieted. Birthed from the chaos was a powerful moment of intense clarity. A yearning, desperate desire struck her. But she cried again, because she knew it was impossible—she could never go back.

Rainbow alighted on the apex of the hill and folded her wings against her back. The expansive blue fields on the left and on the right spanned as far as the eye could see. A glittering creek carved a trailing path through the earth like melting butter rolling across hot bread fresh from the oven. Above, a brilliant full moon gleamed, accompanied by stars glowing like the dots of light adorning frosted windows of houses in Canterlot distant.

The return of her ability to fly in the dream realm did little to distract her from her misery. Despite her best efforts to the contrary, she recalled memories of her adventures in Nowhere. Above all, however, a single persistent memory dwelled in her mind and refused to lift...

She was so immersed in her own thoughts she failed to notice Princess Luna had emerged from the darkness between the stars and descended from the heavens. Her lips had moved, and one eyebrow had cocked. She had asked a question. Vivid images swamped Rainbow's brain and swum before her eyes. Startled from her stupor, she shook her head and blinked hard, clenching her eyes shut tightly. "Huh? Luna? What...?"

"I was just asking a question." Luna frowned, her facial expression communicating concern.

Rainbow sniffled. The tears she wanted desperately to release had already been shed. She was dry and withered, like a flower shriveled beneath scorching summer heat. "Do you... know? How m–much?"

"Enough." Luna neared and nuzzled her atop the head.

Rainbow folded her legs and collapsed onto the silky grass, laying her head on the ground limply. "I'm so, so tired, Luna. I'm so—"

Luna laid alongside her and draped one of her extensive wings over her. Silently, she bowed her head and closed her eyes in a respectful gesture of mourning.

"I saw so many creatures in Nowhere, but... only I made it out."

"You aren't responsible for anything. I understand you feel guilty for failing to save them, but don't chastise yourself for surviving. You aren't at fault."

"Everyone would be so disappointed if I told them the truth, especially my friends." The tension briefly released from her shoulders. "My friends, are they okay?"

"They're okay. They've been waiting for you. We all have been."

Rainbow's eyes tracked a meteor streaking across the sky, burning brightly and dramatically. "I don't know what to do anymore. I finally have what I wanted, but... there's such a huge hole in my heart..."

"Even after everything, you want to go back, don't you?" Before Rainbow could formulate an appropriate response, Luna gently shook her head and shushed her. "It's okay. You don't have to feel embarrassed. I know how it feels to love someone, only for that relationship to be torn." Her eyes lowered pensively. "You have something you'd like to say, don't you? Would you care to share it with me?"

Rainbow's ears folded in sorrow. Though it was difficult, she raised her voice and spoke. "All I wanted were for things to be okay. But even though they never were, even though things just kept going from bad to worse, no matter what was in my head, even with all of the doubts, when I was with him, I felt... something. I felt like I belonged. I was, well... I loved him."

Author's Note

That's all. Good job making it to the end. Thanks for reading! This edit took more than a year to write, and I'm so happy I stuck by it and saw it to the very end. I hope you enjoyed.

If you'd like to hear more of my thoughts about this rewrite and also some esoteric ramblings about the writing process in general, check out my blog post:

Quality is indeterminate—on the topic of fearing you aren't good enough