Author's Note

Attention: While nothing is show, the following chapter heavily discusses sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

Act 3 – Chapter 3: The Pains We Carry

Day 18

Underside, San Palomino Desert

“Well, this table has certainly gotten crowded.”

Falke wasn’t wrong, that was sure. One day earlier, it had just been him, Amaryllis, and myself sitting at this table as I learned who I’d be working for. Now two more ponies sat there, neither of which we had planned to be with us in any capacity twenty-four hours ago. There hadn’t been enough seats for the five of us back then, but Amaryllis had fixed that before any of us had arrived.

In doing so, they probably put the lives of even more Shattered Moon on the line.

“Surprised to see him here, and unnaturally naked,” he muttered, subtly pointing to Open Heart. Our conversation was drowned out by Gemini and the ghoul being brought up to date by Amaryllis, something neither of us needed. “Unnaturally for him, of course. I understand the why, thanks to you, but a surprise remains a surprise.”

“You plan to do the coffee test on them too?” I asked. The front of my muzzle was drenched in milk from me haphazardly shoveling cereal, the taste of which being as good as everything else down on the surface.

“No need, I’m not the one who hired them,” Falke answered. “Still, Open Heart was it? Are you sure he is in the right state of mind for this?”

“He’s not going to tell us if he is,” I replied. “This wasn’t some break up or divorce he just went through. Dude got his wife stolen from him against both of their wills. As far as things stand, she might as well be dead.”

A single look at Open Heart’s face was enough to see how badly Willow’s loss was affecting him. If his crying the previous night was his brain finally realizing everything that had happened, then the morning might as well have been the worst hangover of our life. He talked with us, ate, and otherwise, but everything seemed either took more effort than usual or was strangely stilted. It reminds me of myself, after the sandstorm, physical there but not completely present.

It would have only been worse if he knew the full truth of her goodbye, I was certain. Looking back on the day, thinking of my last moments with my fellow alicorn, I felt myself growing more certain that we didn’t give Willow what she wanted. The Goddess alone had made sure of it, but even before her arrival? The pain and heartache was so clear that there was no reason for the Goddess to not remove it. By all means, the Willow we likely knew was gone.

What did that leave behind, when every trauma, every weakness, and any moment even the least bit melancholy was removed? Why did I have any reason to believe that, whether we succeeded or not, the Goddess wouldn’t remove all traces of Open Heart from her mind? She had made her disdain for him clear as day. It would be far too easy to convince herself it was unnecessary bloat for her newest drone.

I shook my head, bringing myself out of that dark pit. The truth is, none of us knew anything that happened to Willow after we saw her off. The military trained me to expect the worse, but Dead Hooves wanted me to hope for the best. The latter, more pony option won out over logic, and that tiny dot of light was grasped as tightly as possible.

“Being separated from the one you love, it isn’t easy,” Falke said, his voice taking on a reflective state. A sad smile plagued his face, a half-heart chuckle leaving his beak. “We all experience it, sooner or later. Everything he is going through, I experienced it all myself.”

“With your wife?” I asked. He nodded. “What was she like?”

“Feisty, a little crazy, terrifying… but beautiful,” Falke answered. “No better griff to watch my back, no better lady to share my nights with. The days I spent with her at my side were some of the best days of my life.”

“She sounds wonderful.”

An amused exhale left his nares. “She was. Got to spend more time with her than I did any other griffon that entered my life, but we are mercs. Dying young is practically a guarantee.”

“Was she…,” I stopped, holding in the question that nearly escaped. Falke looked at me, tilting his head towards me to say it was okay. “How did she die? Killed by raiders.”

“No. Even at her weakest no immoral, twisted pony would ever kill her,” he said. His head rose till his beak was pointed towards the ceiling lights. “Cancer from taint exposure. When we found out, she only had a few more months left.”

“Oh sweet Infinite,” I muttered, shaking my head. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks for the sympathies,” he said, smiling at me. He hunched over the table, one claw absent-mindedly stroked the ceramic of his cup. “We both knew the dangers of our job. Radiation, taint, other creatures, bad employers, all things more than capable of getting you killed. I’m certain military service has made you aware of most of those.”

“All, actually,” I joked, sheepishly grinning back at him. “You’d be surprised how stupid some of us are. I’m certain that if they were ordered to, at least half the Enclave’s standard infantry would chew their own hooves off without a second thought. A quarter of those remaining would join in because of peer pressure.”

Falke raised one side of his brow as if to ask if I was serious. I nodded, unable to meet his eye contact on account of being one of those ponies. Less than a month ago the mare known as Singing Rhapsody would have been all too willing to die for the Enclave. Even as a member of the high counsel, I was very often just… there. Ironsight led me one direction or the other, and I followed it without second thought.

“Was he using us?” my inner selves asked themself. A feeling of disgust immediately caused them to backtrack on the question. “The Enclave wasn’t good, but he was our friend. Ironsight wouldn’t use us like that, especially with everything we’ve gone through.”

“And how are you fairing this morning, Danse Macabre?” Falke asked. It was more than enough to pull me out of the past, though the present wasn’t exactly pleasant either. “Soldier or no, there is only so much we can take. If I had gone through everything you did yesterday, and at my age, I’m certain I’d currently be a bit… unresponsive.”

“I’ve lost good ponies in missions before, nothing new there,” I answered, scowling. “Still, Willow was not a sister in arms. She was a friend, even if she was definitely insane. I might be holding together better than some, but it still hurts.”

“It always does,” he replied. “The moment when it doesn’t, lay down your arms for good. It will save you.”

“Right.”

At that moment, I decided to tune back into Amaryllis’ speech. She was still going over things with Hearty and Gemmy, the former seeming a lot less interested than the later. Not that the changeling themself seemed to notice or care; they were so enthralled by their own voice they weren’t looking at either pony. Their words didn’t mean much to me since I already knew their goals, but it was incredibly entertaining.

Eventually, though, Amaryllis stopped. Proud of themselves, they sat back down in the chair they had subconsciously risen from. They only gave pause when, much to their surprise, Gemmy clapped her hooves in applause at them. Shock turned to joy, the changeling’s mandibles doing the same happy dance they had done the night before. For all their faults, I do have to admit that it was absolutely adorable.

“Face it, you like the bug.”

I froze up, face going pale at my inner selves’ response. Quickly mustering up a scowl, I turned my attention away from the table and towards nowhere in particular.

“Come on, don’t be like that. You can’t help that they are our type.”

“They are not our type.”

“Oh really, so the flutter of your heart just now was because of who? Open Heart? We all know you ain’t interested in him.”

I felt my face burn up a little as blood rushed to it, scowl turning into a pout. “I-i-it was just a single movement.”

“Yes. A single movement on an exotic creature with beautiful eyes, gorgeous wings, an incredible build, and ass gifted b–”

“O-o-okay, so I like them a little bit.”

“Knew it.”

“Oh like you were any different!”

“What can I say? If it wasn’t for their preaching, I’d be down asking them to date.”

“I mean, yeah, me too, but they are–”

“Miss Macabre,” Amaryllis called, their voice freezing me up once again. I turned my attention back, noticing that literally everyone had been watching my argument with myself. While most of those present were staring stunned and wide eyed at me, the changeling merely smirked. “As charmed as I am to learn of your infatuation, may we focus on the task at hoof.”

Swallowing in an attempt to calm my nerves, my blush definitely showing through the magenta of my coat, I nodded. Open Heart snorted at me, mumbling something that didn’t reach my ears. The smile on his face, on the other hoof, was a decent bit brighter than before. It wasn’t enough to completely rid the the sorrow from his eyes, but it was something.

“Now then, I would like to discuss one of the more sensitive topics concerning our mission,” Amaryllis said. “A piece of me wanted to leave this for the future, but as it will be our responsibility I have no choice.”

“This is concerning Paradise, I assume,” Falke replied.

Both Gemini and I looked at the griffon in confusion. “Paradise.”

“The Equalists ‘holy site’, at least as far as names are concerned,” Hearty said, his voice both emotionless and expressionless. One of his hooves propped his head up, making his foul mood seem slightly more foalish than the night before. “It’s their stated reason for being in San Palomino. Supposedly it is the only place in all of Equestria that has clean water and rich soil. I think I speak for us more traveled individuals when I call that brahmin shit.”

“Oh come now, do not lie to the pegasus,” Amaryllis said, looking positively smug. “Sure, things grow elsewhere, but the end of the world brought about by your false goddesses and their striped counterpart has twisted them. They are not as they should be, and polluted besides.”

“Not everywhere,” Falke replied. The smugness from Amaryllis’ face faded ever so slightly, leering at the griffon. “It isn’t big, but there is this wonderful little area some ways north of Las Pegasus, a former ski resort area if I remember correctly. It’s rocky, sure, but it is possible to farm there due to the fact no mega spells were close enough to harm the land.”

“Brayington County?” Hearty asked. Falke gave him a confident nod. “Had a feeling that’s where you are talking about. No cloud cover or S.P.P towers out that way.”

Amaryllis, briefly seemed to show surprise at their words, the information as new to them as it was to Gemini and myself. There was a brief moment of deep thought visible in the way they cast their eyes to the table, but it was gone before anycreature but me noticed it. With a cough into their hoof, they obtained the attention that had been taken from them. Despite their best attempt to smile confidently, they ended up looking more annoyed at us than anything.

“Well, while it may be clean by the standards of heretics, I’m certain it’s still lesser than the Messenger’s great gift,” they said, mandibles twitching as they vocally tried to repair the crack in their world view. It really was like looking in a mirror, seeing where Rhapsody had started to where we were now. “After all, our followers were led across the continent to that very spot two centuries ago. Surely one such as her saw the end of days and–”

Without thinking, Gemmy chose that exact moment to interrupt the changeling. “Wasn’t Sandstone and ArcanaTech also able to make fresh food?”

A brief flash of life showed up in Hearty’s eyes. “Oh, hey, you are righ–”

“Shut up!”

Amaryllis slammed her hooves on the table. My daughter yelped and jumped in surprise at the sudden noise. Hearty flinched, though he seemed infinitely more amused at the changeling’s than anything else. All the while the bug’s eyelids and mandibles twitched even more furiously, as if preparing to bite into any of us at a moment's notice. Closing their eyes, they did some box breathing in an attempt to get their emotions back to their usual state of control.

“This is not about Sandstone, or Brayington, or any other place in your Messenger forsaken Equestria,” they said, voice just barely controlled. “This is about Paradise. More specifically, infiltrating the place, investigating it, and finding out how to get it under Shattered Moon’s control.”

“Right, let's stay focused,” I replied, a tinge of amusement infecting my voice. The deadpan look they gave made me just have the urge to not full-on laugh. “So obviously Paradise is important. Why are we focused on it and not your central government buildings?”

“Because it’s the one thing that has kept Shattered Moon from attacking for so long,” Amaryllis replied. “The false prophet made things perfectly clear: ‘any attempted invasion from heretical forces shall see our wonderful Paradise destroyed under a deluge of blood and fire.’ In other words, kill the workers, destroy the fields.”

“Wh-what?!” Gemmy asked. “You mean they would kill their own ponies, and nopony has any problem with it?”

“That’s the not-so-funny thing about Paradise,” Falke said. “The creatures working the fields at Paradise? They aren’t believers. Each and everypony there is a convicted ‘heretic’, forced to toil the rest of their days tending far too many fields with little food or water.”

My heart sank, muzzle moving of its own accord as I summarized what he said. “It’s a labor camp.”

“Exactly,” the griffon replied. “Everyone knows it, but the Equalists manage to trick their people’s ethics via religious doctrine. It’s not too dissimilar to Red Eyes' own movement in the east.”

“Ah, yes, I believe you told me about him before,” Amaryllis said, getting a nod from Falke. “The copycat is not our concern, though. The point is that before Shattered Moon can launch an assault on Our Haven we need to rip Paradise from the false prophet’s hooves.”

“Not going to be easy getting in,” Open Heart stated, eyes trailing to Gemini. “Not sure how I feel about some of us taking part in this either.”

“I can do it!” Gemmy repeated, puffing her chest much like I did sometimes. I know she meant to come off as brave, but the mimicry was more adorable than anything. “Mom will have me ready by then, and a medium could be lots of help.”

“You’re a medium?” Falke asked my daughter. She gave a confident nod to the griffon, earning a just as confident smile in return. “Lots of angry spirits no doubt reside there. They’d be more than willing to give up secrets, and put both us and the captives in less harm.”

“Not that it matters if we can’t get in,” Open Heart responded. He immediately followed up his response by side-eyeing Amaryllis. “I assume that, putting aside chaos theory for a moment, you have some way inside.”

“Please use words that the common pony knows, it sometimes sounds like you’re speaking another language sometimes,” the changeling replied, muzzle high and smiling as if what they said was worthy of praise. “The Messenger has revealed all that we need to succeed. Give it time, and you’ll see the divinity you all are currently so blind to.”

Hearty scoffed. “And the bug says I speak in riddles.”

Amaryllis briefly looked down at the ghoul, smile falling just enough to show that his words had gotten to them. Once again I found myself amused at the two, purely out of memory of once being in the changeling’s position. It felt good no longer being the target of his every quip and counterargument.

“So, Amaryllis,” I asked, a sassy undertone in my voice, “what exactly is this way in?”

“Sugar, it is only too perfect that you asked,” they replied. “While I initially had planned to use myself as a martyr, your being here has given us a safer option. After all, there is no better way into Paradise then as one of its prisoners.”

“What?!” Gemmy and Hearty said in union.

While the changeling’s words were met by vitriol and terror by my friend and daughter, I couldn’t help but smile. My hiring truly was a boon in more ways than one for them. Perhaps a part of me should have felt bad, being used as a sacrificial lamb, but the pet name Amaryllis gave me clearly meant something. I had obtained it before all of this, back during my first visit to the Lucky Clover, and they were still using it. Being up on stage with me that night was for more than to snack on my love or embarrass me at Gold’s request.

As zealous, malicious, and misguided as they were, Amaryllis really did like me. They wouldn’t throw me to the wolves without some means of retrieving me, possibly in a way to make them look like some divine white knight. As Gemmy and Hearty bickered and fought to make her change her mind, my inner selves and I came to an agreement.

“She really is our type.”

“I’m in,” I replied, getting three pairs of wide eyed stares from everycreature but Amaryllis as I grinned maliciously. They quickly matched it, their eyes hiding hidden relief and lust at my announcement. “All you need me to do is kill my target and get caught, right?”

“Mom, what are you doing?” Gemmy cried out.

“Getting us our way in,” I responded.

“And nothing about this seems like a bad idea to you?” Hearty asked.

“Do you have another solution?” I questioned back. Hearty opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself short of actually saying anything. “Exactly. We may not like it, but unless some other option presents itself this is what we have to do.”

“It only gets you in, though,” Gemmy said. “It doesn’t do anything but put you in danger.”

“Now now, Gemini,” Falke replied, motioning with his talons for her to calm down. “You and Open Heart haven’t exactly given Amaryllis time to say everything. They want all of us in there, after all, not just your mother.”

“Not that I can blame your over-protectiveness,” the changeling responded. They turned to Gemini, offering the unicorn a look of genuine sympathy that I had not expected. “I know this is an awkward time, but I think it is best I say it now before we continue. I’m sorry, Gemini, for my words to you last night.”

While Hearty gave his usual protective, judging look, the rest of us allowed our shock or confusion at the statement to shine through. Gemini specifically seemed distraught, her attempts to stare at the changeling broken by rapid blinks. After a few seconds, her muzzle fell slightly open and her head tilted to the side.

“You… apologize?” she asked.

“On the comments I made concerning using your body,” Amaryllis answered. The way my daughter’s coat and mane seemed to immediately raise at the statement made it clear she knew what the changeling was talking about. “After I said them, tasting your emotions – as well as the speech you gave Ink Spot – made it clear that the resentment comes from something far darker. There is clearly some experience you’ve had that I don’t know about, and for that reason I am sorry.”

While the intention from Amaryllis seemed good, the effect it left on not just Gemini, but the entire table, made it feel wrong. Something about the way they worded it felt intrinsically wrong, not helped in any way by the timing. If their apology was as genuine as their face and tone were trying to make it sound, then why say it here? It felt too calculated, especially considering the metaphorical scab they were picking on Gemini’s body.

A piece of me expected Gemini to retract inwards at the ‘apology’, try and go somewhere that might make her feel safe. Instead, her lips pulled into a snarl, her teeth grinding loud enough for me to somehow hear it. Amaryllis, whose confidence and control had but a day ago seemed infallible, once more cracked as they blankly stared at the unicorn in confusion. Her claims she made last night about befriending Amaryllis had disappeared in an instant.

“We’re not doing it,” she said.

As soon as Gemini spoke, Amaryllis moved to make up ground she had lost, returning back to her controlled, yet slightly seductive form of speech. “I’m the one in charge here, Shining Gemini. As your employer I respect your opinion but–”

“I don’t trust you with my mom.” Gemini responded, interrupting the changeling again.

Whereas it had last led to an outburst of anger, Amaryllis now leaned back and winced. Any sign their response was out of kindness was annihilated as, instead of looking to the pony the words came from, Amaryllis looked at me. There was a brief hint of desperation, as if they were hoping for me to step in and save her.

I responded by returning to my cereal, chewing on more of it so that I had a real excuse to not respond.

“Since you can’t be trusted with my mom’s life, we aren’t going to do it,” Gemini explained. Still Amaryllis looked to me instead of the pony speaking, eyes practically begging me to step in. I merely did nothing and let an angry Gemini vent. “You talk smart, so be smart. Find some other means of getting everypony inside, because I’m not letting you do anything to my mom. I hate you.”

Gemmy finally had Amaryllis’ attention on her, but both of them knew no words were going to change anything. In one fell swoop, my daughter had effectively sealed off any and all avenues for them to pursue me. A creature with no good inside them would not have cared for it, but in that moment they finally looked to Gemini they proved that wasn’t the case. There was something better in there, buried under the brainwashing of a cult that had them fulling in their grasp.

Now they just had to show they can be that better pony. Prove they can change, that they can make the apology in the future and have it be as sincere as it should have been. Without Gemini’s approval, Amaryllis was never going to have a chance with me. I was more than willing to play that game, especially considering the problems I did have with the changeling’s personality to begin with.

“We have a long journey ahead of us, not to mention a Shattered Moon to convince,” I said, smiling proudly at my daughter to let her know I approved. “That is more than enough time to come up with something else. If we are not all in agreement with Amaryllis’ plan, then we have several weeks to plan something else.”

“Good, because I was not going to agree no matter what argument you made,” Hearty said. “After all, who is to say they wouldn’t just lock you up or kill you? Hoping they throw you in Paradise is too risky.”

“Not really. It’s more common than you think,” Amaryllis muttered loudly. With a reluctant sigh, the changeling forcefully turned their attention back to the rest of us. At least they tried to, eyes instead falling to their table, mandibles resting lower than usual. “I… guess we can figure out something else. The Messenger, mighty as she is, must have some other means of seeing her will manifest, surely. This was just… her first option. Her first one, yes, but not her only one.”

“Then you should have no trouble figuring it out,” Falke replied. Amaryllis seemed to shrink slightly, clearly not believing it as much as she thought she did. “Anything else we should discuss before we leave? I need to let Gideon and Gigi know that I’m leaving a day early.”

“Just that I have precured saddlebags for both Open Heart and Shining Gemini, seeing how they don’t have them already,” Amaryllis replied, sitting up. “I’ll just grab them real quick and let the guards know you're ready to leave. I’ll meet you all at the gate in two hours.”

Standing up from the table, they made their way to the door and opened it up. Closing it behind themselves, the rest of us were momentarily left to ourselves. Hearty immediately let out a groan, head colliding with his near-empty bowl, flinging droplets of brahmin milk onto his face. Falke caressed his beak, letting out an irritated huff as he looked at my daughter, whose face had grown far less stern the moment Amaryllis was gone.

“I understand why you said what you did, but this is definitely going to complicate things,” the griffon told her. “After all, who knows if there even is another way inside.”

“I know, but mom pinkie promised that she would be fine yesterday,” Gemmy replied, looking at me. “I’m doing what I can to keep you from breaking it. If it is the only option, I want to make sure Amaryllis is a better pony before going along with it.”

“A better pony?” Hearty asked, raising his head from the bowl. Bits of cereal stuck to his unamused face, which he quickly started brushing off in disgust. “Please don’t tell me you're going to try and fix the damn bug.”

Gemmy shrugged. “Why not? You managed to do it with mom, so surely I can do it to Amaryllis.”

“While I’m uncertain of the specifics around ‘fixing’ Miss Macabre, I have to partly agree with Mister Heart on this,” Falke replied. Hearty smirked and left his muzzle high in victory, only for the griffon to motion for him to wait. “However, that is not because Amaryllis is unable to change.”

Both brows on both unicorns rose in confusion at his statement. It very quickly dawned on me exactly where Falke was coming from.

“You think Gemini isn’t the right pony to do it,” I stated.

“This is correct,” Falke replied. Gemmy’s brow even went higher after hearing that. “Now, it is none of my business, but Amaryllis did mention some form of past trauma you carry. Might I ask for a basic explanation as to what exactly happened?”

Gemini opened her mouth to reply, but what came out was less words and more a strangled and detached series of vowels. She closed her muzzle, only to open it once more and tried again. One more failed attempt later, and my daughter hung her head in shame. My heart hurt all the more, knowing exactly what it was she was trying to say. As brave as she tried to be, as impressive as it was to see her beat Amaryllis in an argument, the scabs from her life in Trotson were still too fresh for her to say.

She looked to me out of the corner of her eye, giving that same begging face Amaryllis had tried to use on me earlier. Where it didn’t work with the changeling, my weakness for my adopted daughter made it far more effective.

“Are you sure you want to tell them?” I asked, just to make sure she wasn’t forcing this out into the open.

“Y-y-yeah,” she said. “I trust Hearty, he’s a doctor. Gideon and Gigi are good friends of mine, and I told them a little, so I think it is okay to tell him.”

“If you want me to stop at any point, just tap me on the wing,” I told her.

She gave me a nod, and I turned back to the rest of the table. Falke and Open Heart were looking at me, waiting for me to speak. A couple boxes to mentally prepare myself, some moments of quiet conversation with Rhapsody and Dead Hooves on exactly how to approach this, and I was as ready as possible. With my stomach twisted in knots, and bile in my throat, my muzzle opened.

“Shining Gemini, before we met her, was… a sex slave for some disgusting ponies in Trotson,” I said. Every word felt like I was stabbing a dagger to my heart, horrible flashes of memories Rhapsody had long suppressed hitting my mind. “That includes two times when… when she….”

…

I couldn’t say it.

It was too much, remembering my own experiences. A hoof protectively went to my lower stomach, the other pressing against me. My heart threatened to burst from the confines of my body, breathing barely staying calm. All I was able to do was sit there, mentally telling myself that it was okay.

I was okay.

He can’t harm me here.

“S… sorry,” I quietly managed to say. “I thought I’d be able to tell you all, but I guess some of it is too much for me.”

“You don’t need to,” Open Heart said, a hateful edge to his. What remained of his coat and mane bristled with rage, horn crackling with magic. “It’s fucked up, simple as that. Nopony, and I do mean nopony, should ever have to live through that. Sweet Tartarus, I should have let Willow play with him more.”

“As the ghoul said, that is something you should never have gone through,” Falke said. Where Hearty seemed ready to tear the room apart in anger, the griffon was just sympathetic, sorrow and pain visible in his eyes. “I’m sorry for asking about. I didn’t realize exactly what you had gone through.”

“I-I-it’s fine,” Gemini muttered, staring at the table. “Just, don’t tell anypony about this. It hurts to think about.”

“We wouldn’t dare, sweetie,” I assured her, stretching a wing her way. She leaned into the down instantly, the darkness from her face fading away. “It’s not our story to tell, not unless you want us to.”

Closing her eyes for a moment, Gemmy allowed her body to relax. Though tears were in her eyes, they were formed from relief instead of sadness.

“Thank you,” she told them both. “I think… I was worried about what you’d think of me. I’m not sure why.”

“When faced with trauma like yours, irrational actions are completely understandable,” Open Heart said, trying his hardest to smile despite the inferno of emotions raging through his body. “In simpler words, it makes sense. You went through shit, acting off because it is natural.”

“I’m sure she knew what you meant the first time, Mister Heart,” Falke replied.

“Actually, not really,” Gemmy responded. “So, uh, thanks. I might ask about those words later.”

I retracted my wing after that, feeling that the mare had gained enough emotional support to not need it. She looked at me, smiling a little bit wider than it had been before. No words were needed to decipher the meaning, it was another thanks. If the red in her cheeks were anything to go by, it was left unsaid more out of embarrassment for saying the words yet again.

“We didn’t have this till we met Anchor, didn’t we?” My inner selves asked. “Ponies to fall back on and reveal our worst memories to. Ironsight knew some of it, but not everything.”

Of course he was never told. He was the prince while Rhapsody was a pauper. There was no way he’d understand.

With comfort given to the one who needed it, I turned to Falke and returned the conversation back to the original subject. “I’m guessing this is the main reason you didn’t agree with Gemini’s plan.”

“Again, I only somewhat disagree,” Falke said. “My problem isn’t with breaking Amaryllis free of her brainwashing, but the pony doing it.”

“Wh-what?” Gemmy asked.

“The gesture is wonderful, really, but you have already dealt with so many Gemini. I’m not entirely sure how long ago you got out of this stuf–”

“Two and a half weeks.”

Falke briefly deadpanned to Open Heart, then shifted back to the rest of us.

“You already carry enough pain. You alone breaking Amaryllis free would be too much on you emotionally.”

“Then all of us pitch in and help out,” I replied. Hearty stared at me, as if expecting me to suddenly say that I was joking. “Hearty, you and Willow saved me from the Enclave’s mental clutches. I have no right to say they can’t be saved when I was one in their horseshoes.”

He just kept staring, waiting for some crack to form in my confidence. He found none, my belief in this cause as certain as it was the night before. I was sticking by my daughter, because Amaryllis needed that wake-up call. The sooner she realizes the harm she did to the Shattered Moon here in Underside, the quicker we’re able to free her from this cult’s clutches, the better.

Open Heart, whether he would ever admit it or not, understood that perfectly. He had seen me at my lowest, when I had discovered there was more than just pegasus in my blood. If he could save someone from going through something similar, he would.

“Just don’t ask me to be a nice pony to them,” he said.

“I’m not expecting you too. After all, you weren’t exactly nice to me,” I replied. He snorted in amusement, knowing just how much of an understatement that was. I then turned my attention back to Falke. “There, now Gemmy isn’t alone in this. She’s got two ponies to back her up.”

“Three, actually,” he corrected, holding that same number of claws up to me. “Never said I wasn’t interested, just that Gemini shouldn’t do this alone.”

It was at that moment that the door opened behind us. A number stepped in, body completely concealed as per usual, stepped inside. He briefly looked each of us over, before his eyes fully focused on Falke.

“Sorry for the wait. I’m here to escort you all out,” he said, holding a collection of blindfolds in their talons.

“Of course,” Falke said, standing up. Gemini and I followed suit. “Thank you, sir.”

“Just doing my job,” the guard replied, a hint of relief in his voice. “I’m happy you all are getting the bug out of here, though. Thanks for getting rid of them.”

“Happy to take Amaryllis off your hooves,” I replied.

Falke and Gemini had already made their way up to the stallion by the time I took my first step, only for my attention to swiftly be pulled back to the table by the clearing of a throat. All eyes turned to Open Heart, still seated and looking rather disinterested in leaving his chair. Looking to the masked pony standing in front of the door, he motioned a hoof towards me.

“Can I have a moment to take to Miss Macabre? Privately?” he asked, taking on a more professional tone of voice. “Medical related. You know about doctor-patient confidentiality, no doubt.”

“Doctor-patient… where is this coming from?”

“Of course sir. I’ll have two of the blindfolds hooved over to my friend waiting outside,” the guard asked.

I remained silent, eyes focused on the ghoul as my daughter and the griffon were blindfolded. The sound of the door opening, the clopping of hooves, and the door closing were all I needed to know that Heaty had been given the privacy he wanted. That was the moment he decided to stand up. With a motion of his head, he wordlessly directed me towards what had been Amaryllis’ bed for the past several days.

“Okay, what is this about?” I asked as I made my way up to him. “Last I checked you aren’t actually my doctor.”

“Danse, do you want to know how many times in the past two weeks I’ve dressed your wounds, healed you, or otherwise?” he questioned back, sitting on the edge of the bed. My muzzle stayed closed as I sat down next to him. “Exactly. I may not be your physician, internist, therapist, and surgeon assigned by the Enclave, but I’ve pulled enough lead out of your body to basically be them.”

“I guess you have a point there,” I replied, giving him a mock frown. “Though you are definitely more crass then Doctor Mending ever was.”

“You don’t pay me enough to coddle you.”

“I’m not paying you anything.”

“And that makes a difference in this argument because….”

He was begging for me to say something stupid. A week ago, I might have given him what he wanted. Not now, however, given everything we had been through together. We both knew each other well enough to know when one was trying to rile up the other.

“How are you managing?” I asked. This time the frown on my face was very real. “Gemmy and I heard you last night.”

After a second of hesitation, he brought one of his forehooves to his face and dragged it across himself, groaning. “Fuck. Really?”

“The walls here aren’t as thick as they are back at the motel,” I said, leaning backwards and tapping on the wooden wall behind me. “They were likely offices back then.”

“Celestia fuck me sideways, I was hoping nopony heard it,” he muttered to himself. His hoof dropped from his face afterwards, annoyance and sorrow making up the scowl on his muzzle. “Looks, I’m going to need some time for all of that to really settle in. I appreciate you asking but, please, just let me deal with this myself.”

I nodded, forcing the corner of my lips to curve upwards in a smile. I managed to hold it long enough to get one from the ghoul himself before the act proved too much. He fell shortly after; neither of us were in the right place to talk about Willow Wisp.

“So, doc,” I said, trying to shift the topic away, “what is it you need to talk to me about?”

It took Open Heart a moment to register my words. Once he did, he cleared his throat once more before turning to me.

“Danse Macabre, understand that when I told him this was confidential, I mean it,” he explained. “None of what we are about to talk about leaves this room unless you want it to. Understand?”

I gave him a nod.

“Then pardon me as I speak frankly, directly, and without restraint,” he said. “Danse Macabre, did your father sexually assault you?”

Every part of my body froze up, and for a moment my lungs seemed to stop working. My stomach twisted until it was inside out, eyes wide and unmoving as I stared at the ghoul. Once more the memories came back, things that had stayed submerged in the back of my mind for years resurfacing clearer than ever had before. Yet even with that clarity nothing visually stuck, my mind instead was occupied with sounds, cries, and words.

His words. Useless, worthless, mistake, and so many others more derogatory that I can’t bring myself to say or write. Words Anchor never called me, because he knew how much they affected me.

“Danse?”

“How did…,” my voice stopped, throat constricting to the point where it felt like I had to choose between speaking and breathing. “Was it… that obvious?”

“No. I didn’t figure it out until you were talking about Gemini’s own sexual abuse earlier,” Hearty said. Despite his earlier remarks about not needing to be kind, his voice was gentle. He knew one wrong word would be like stepping on a landmine. “It reminded me of something Gemini said while you were unconscious after the sandstorm. I think her exact words were… ‘she’s just like me.’ Didn’t know what she meant until just now.”

I hung my head, the movement stiff and robotic. Of course Gemini knew, she had just been too scared to discuss it with me.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I told him, a bit of irrational anger worming its way into my voice. “I told you my family was horrible, now you know everything. Most I tell anypony about my dad is that he is absent and always drunk. Was never home when I got back from school, barely ever got groceries because what little we had was always spent on him getting plastered,” I bit on my lower lip, closing my eyes. “What I didn’t tell the ponies was that sometimes, when he got home, he was always wasted and really mad. That anger seemed to make him horny, and he blamed me for mom. So sometimes, sometimes he would just… he’d just…”

Just like before, saying it was impossible. I had gathered the blankets between my hindlegs up to my stomach, a habit from when I was younger in futile attempts to keep my private area safe. The noises in my mind got louder, the name calling more violent, the word ‘mistake’ specifically being screamed in my skull. Copper hit my tongue as my teeth pierced the skin on, blood slowly starting to flow into my mouth or down my chin.

It made no sense to me. I thought I was over all of this, that I had conquered what that despicable excuse of a stallion did to me. Anchor had helped me there. It took so, so long for me to actually feel comfortable sharing the same bed with him, and even when we finally slept together for the first time it still took months for me to even consider having sex with him. Yet in time I worked up the courage to do that too. I remember how slow we went and how careful he was with me, and that despite everything we had done to make sure I managed to enjoy it for the first time in my life…

“Wind! Wind!”

Anchor, the caring stallion he was, stopped the moment he heard the safeword. Any fog intercourse had placed on his mind dissipated in an instant, and he withdrew immediately. His eyes locked on me, but I couldn’t look back at him. As soon as I was free I started pulling up the comforters, blankets – regular and fitted – from our bed and gathered them up around my stomach. My vision was clouded with water, and I was hyperventilating.

“I-I’m sorry,” I croaked out.

“Rhapsody, you don’t have any reason to apologize,” he replied.

His words were drowned out by visions of my dad’s face and his voice. They were everything I saw, and everything I heard. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry oh by the princesses I’m so so sorry.”

“Rhapsody.”

“I can’t do it. I-I can’t do it. It’s too much. It’s all… It’s all too muc–”

Something wrapped around me. It was soft and gentle, warm and unrestricting. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by the gray fur on Iron Anchor’s chest. It was close enough to encompass everything I saw, but not so close as to touch my muzzle. His forelegs rested next to it, hind legs invisible under the mass of blankets I had made between me and him. His fifth leg, the one that had led to this to begin with, was blocked by that same mass, seeming to understand that’s presence would only make things worse.

Looking to my left, I was greeted with a large, beautiful wing. An identical one was to my right, both forming a protective barrier around me. Everything about them made me feel safe, and with that safety I found all the panic faded away. My dad’s face and voice were no longer at the forefront of my mind, allowing me to think just a little bit better than before.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered again.

“For what?” Anchor asked.

“This… this was supposed to be the night. Everything felt right, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt but…,” my voice briefly got caught in my throat. I closed my eyes and looked at the blankets in shame. “I’m pathetic. They call me one of the Enclave’s best and bravest, and yet this,” I pointed towards his abdomen, “I can’t handle. Every single time I see yours or somepony else’s it always makes me think about him and the things he has done to me.”

“I know, that’s why we made a safeword,” he said softly. “If this isn’t the night, that is okay.”

“But what if I never get to that night?” I asked. “What if we aren’t ever able to have those foals we talked about?”

“Then I’m completely okay with that,” Anchor answered, lifting a foreleg to wipe away the tears falling down my face,”and do you want to know why?”

Practically prying my eyes open, I forced myself to look up at him. Those irises of his, the warmth and care in their blue hue, they became all I wanted to look at. They, more than any else so far, reassured me that I was fine; I was safe.

“Wh-why?” I croaked out.

“Because sex isn’t the reason I ended up falling in love with you, it’s everything else,” he said. I gawked at the words leaving his mouth, unable to comprehend them with the way my dad had twisted my view of the world. “I fell in love with you because you are… Well, you’re amazing. Of every soldier I’ve ever met, none of them were ever as brave, sweet, silly, and wonderful as you. The fact you're dropped dead gorgeous is nothing to all of that.”

“G-g-gorgeous?” I repeated to myself. My head fell, and a smile managed to emerge on my face.

Iron Anchor is just… so perfect. His words didn’t make the scars disappear, but by Luna did they make me feel better. The tears continued to fall, but their existence now felt joyous. Without even thinking I leaned forward, pressing my face into his chest. He brought his forelegs around me, because I was finally calm enough where a hug wouldn’t trigger my trauma.

For the next several minutes, that is where we stayed. His forelegs and wings held me close, warm and ever-comfortable; his breath tickled my neck as he lowered his head to rest on my left shoulder. More than anything, however, the fact he was just there – that my outburst and traumatic episode hadn’t scared him off – made everything that had happened feel fine.

These are the moments that make or break relationships. You can have every happy moment imaginable, only for something like deployment to drive a wedge in that love for one reason or another. Not everypony can take the pony they love being away that long – or an emotional flare up like I had – and still say ‘this is worth it.’ We all have our limits.

Anchor, in that moment, proved that our relationship was one that could last. He was the one, I knew it, and it made my heart flutter more than any gift or date we had gone on before.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after some time. He kept his voice quiet, just in case I relapsed.

“Better,” I said, pressing further into him.

“Do you want some time to yourself?” He asked.

I shook my head, enjoying his smell and the brush of his chest fur. “No. I’d actually like to stay like this for a bit longer, if that is okay.”

“You don’t need to ask,” he responded, holding me the tiniest bit tighter than before. “I’ll stay here as long as you need.”

“Danse? Are you okay?”

I’m not entirely sure how long I had been out of it when Open Heart’s voice finally reached me. I looked at the ghoul, noting the concern in his eyes. Shaking away the daydreams completely, I sheepishly stared back at him.

“Sorry. I thought I had gotten over everything that happened but,” a lump once again formed in my throat, but remembering that night with Anchor gave me the strength to swallow it down, “seems that's not the case.”

“It makes sense,” Open Heart replied. He leaned off the bed, pawing the covers under him. “You probably had a support group up there. Ponies you trusted being around and could talk to about it”

“One, actually. Just my husband,” I replied. I looked down to the bed, a miniscule smile on my muzzle. “Up there, he was all I ever needed. All I could ever really tell it too.”

“That would explain why talking about it seems so hard then,” he said.. “You haven’t known any of us for more than a month. Doesn’t matter how well we’ve gotten to know each other, to confide in somepony about something that personal is not something you can just do on a whim.”

“It’s a bit more than that,” I said, ears folded back. “Open Heart, you have some familiarity with the Enclave. Do you know what would have happened to my career if anypony found out?”

It took him a second, but it was easy to tell exactly when he realized what I was saying. The way his pupils shrunk to pinpricks, the way his mouth silently mouthed out words I couldn’t read, it made it too easy. I knew exactly what I was about to hear from him before the question even left his mouth; Iron Anchor had done the same.

“Danse, your military career couldn’t have been–”

“It was!” I interrupted, placing a wing over my heart. “Boot camp meant getting away from him, signing my first contract was an assurance that I never had to see him again! More than the comfort of a standard life, more than the pay, more than the patriotism, do you genuinely think I could have gone into anything else when it meant staying with that monster for another year?!”

“I’m not judging you for going into the military in the first place. I didn’t live your life; I can’t judge you there,” Hearty said, shaking his head. “You had Anchor though! You had somepony to support you, and you were away from your dad. You didn’t need to fight anymore!”

‘You didn’t need to fight anymore.’

Hearty was right, I was free, and had been for a very long time. The words felt like a bag of cement hit me in the back of the head. The reason I joined made no excuse for the fact that I had stayed. It would have been okay – Tartarus it would have been sensible – for me to not go beyond my first contract. Everypony would understand, Ironsight especially, and with me out of the picture I would never have ended up down here. I would remain blissfully ignorant, my husband and daughters forever a part of my life, and happy.

Yet when I thought of it all for more than just a few seconds, the idea felt inconsolably wrong. A peaceful life with Anchor should have been a wonderful thing, but that peace made me want to puke. It was like the act of putting my gun down meant losing myself. I needed to press the trigger, needed to kill, needed to fight, suffer, pull the trigger, kill, fight, suffer, pull the trigger, kill, repeat, repeat, repeat…

Repeat.

“I don’t think I could handle it,” I said. “You’re right that I don’t have to, but I need to. I can’t tell you why because I don’t understand it myself, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”

Open Heart just sighed, a hoof reaching back behind his neck to rub at his withers. I was expecting him to further psycho-analyze me, instead he stayed silent. Eyes closed, he took care of whatever itch he had before opening them and staring right at me. The sadness in them, it hurt far too much to look at for more than a few seconds.

“Danse Macabre,” he said, “as your doctor, I hereby diagnose you with post traumatic stress disorder, as well as wartime stress disorder.”

My eyes went wide. “Wha… why are you–“

“This is what you feared, isn’t it?” he asked. I clamped up, averting my eyes from the ghoul. “You don’t know anything else. You can’t step away because you feel like you still have some mission to fulfill.”

“I-I do!” I shouted. “I have ponies I need to kill!“

“Because it was a mission, or because you need a mission,” he stated. “Perhaps more than you do Anchor, or your foals.”

“Leave them out of your fucking mouth!”

I snapped, unable to take words that were both so incredibly wrong… and horribly right. Without even realizing what I had done, a pulse from my horn ripped through the air. Hearty was able to put a shield up in defense of the pure magic I was unknowingly weaving. The room around me was far less fortunate.

The utensils, plates, cups, and otherwise from our breakfast were thrown everywhere. Some crashed into the walls and shattered while the rest were flung around in an invisible tornado. The counters seemed to twist and bend like clay, the dish washer and sink bending with them. The fridge started to melt, unable to withstand volcanic heat. The bed underneath both Hearty and myself harmlessly shifted between all the colors of the rainbow.

All that while, in a state of denial, I proved Open Heart how right and wrong he really was.

“I need to kill them for my family’s safety. I need to kill them because they put my entire species at risk. So what if I have some selfish reason to add on top of it all? That doesn’t change the fact that others might die if I don’t. Stop. Moving!” Another pulse of magic went from my horn, cracking the floor. “So many others died, so many others could no longer fight, but I can! If I stop, ponies will die; If I stop, who is going to keep everypony I care about safe? I have to keep going. I have to. I have to. I have to!”

With my declaration, one last flare of magic was sent through the room. Everything seemed to fall away, and I found myself no longer in Amaryllis’ room. All that surrounded me was nothingness. My chest heaved for breath, suddenly aware of the terrifying amount of magic that I was unleashing. I wanted to stop it all, but my body didn’t not feel like it was under my control. Every fiber of my being felt ready to be ripped apart.

Then, just like that same night with Anchor all those years ago, a wing rested on my back.

A piece of me begged for them to run, not knowing how safe I was to be around at this moment. All that came out was a strange mix between choking and screaming. I tried again, but once more all that left my mouth was a scream, though it felt ever-so-slightly weaker. Not weak enough to give me back control, but enough for my brain to make out.

With each passing second the magic seemed to lessen, and with it I noticed other things about the creature next to me. The absurd size of their wings, the talons carefully running through the hair of my mane, and how their figure seemed to almost blend into the void around us. Slowly, I managed to crane my head upwards until I saw a pair of unforgettable purple eyes piercing through the nice. Directly below those orbs was a beak, and where it met skin there was the faintest sign of a smile.

“V… Vi… Vi…”

“Just relax. No unicorn has ever had a comfortable magic surge,” they said. If their touch hadn’t already been calming, their voice definitely was. “Relax, focus on me, and let your body calm down.”

With no other clear choice for what to do, I took the one Vigil had for me. My eyes stayed on their own as they cautiously, carefully stroked my mane and back, my muscles slowly letting loose the tension built up in them. They started humming at some point, but I didn’t hear it until the surge was completely under control. At that point, with every bit of strength sapped from me, my legs did not feel capable of holding me up.

I collapsed onto a floor that did not exist, in a place that shouldn’t exist. Vigil laid down next to me, watching me with concern and care in her eyes. It felt so odd to think about, death being gentle. On the battlefield it always seemed cold and visceral.

“Why?” I asked them.

“Why would death save you from themself?” Vigil asked rhetorically, filling in the missing parts of my question. “Because it isn’t yet your time. That, and I care. Didn’t I tell you that when we first met?”

“You did but…,” I coughed, throat hoarse and sore from my screams. Some blood may have been hacked up in the process, but it was impossible to see. “I was… kind of stuck on being dead.”

Vigil snorted. “Fair enough. Though it seems quite a bit more has happened since then.”

Their eyes trailed from my mane of blue, black, and white to the brown feathers and fur that had mixed with Rhapsody’s original magenta. They only paid my cutie mark a passing glance before they stared directly into my eyes. Along with the still present concern and care, there was now the hint of curiosity in them as well.

“It seems they still have not explained everything to me,” they muttered to themself.

“So you… you don’t know what caused this?” I asked.

“No, some of it makes sense. You’ve already figured out what I already know in terms of your body and spirit,” they explained, “or are you talking about just now? The magic surge you just dealt with?”

I tilted my head. “Magic… surge?”

“It’s mainly a unicorn thing. When they are young it's not uncommon for them to lose control of their more direct connection to the infinite, and it can lead to messy results,” They said. While one talon tenderly ran through my mane, the other conjured water from seemingly nowhere. They gave it to me, and I was all too happy to raise it to my muzzle and douse it in my mouth. “You, however, are not a filly in a physical sense. Your body is still adjusting to having the abilities of a unicorn, it was only a matter of time before you had a surge, and it was going to be ugly.”

“And you are here to make sure it doesn’t kill me,” I replied, hoofing the now empty glass back to them. “Even knowing you care, it still feels weird.”

“Your perception of death is twisted by your military experience. It makes sense,” Vigil said. “Now come on, we should get back to Open Heart. He’s starting to worry.”

Vigil stood up and walked in front of me, holding a talon out far enough for me to reach. I gladly took it, and in less than a second the exhaustion my magical surge had forced onto me reduced. I didn’t bother to ask about it, understanding that Vigil’s powers were far above any creature that was alive. They knew that I would be traveling, and was using whatever powers they had to make sure things would stay that way.

Once I was on my hooves, they motioned for me to follow her. Our destination was a door some ways off, farther away than I’m certain it needed to be. If Vigil wanted to snap her talons and instantly bring me back to Hearty, they would do it. The fact they were giving us time meant they either wanted the company, or had something they wanted me to ask. That only proved itself more true as, with each step, the door seemed to stay the exact same distance away that it had before.

It wasn’t too hard to figure out what they wanted me to ask. After all, it had been the cause behind the very surge the griffon had stopped.

“Vigil,” I called out. Death looked at me, our legs continuing to move towards the door. “Is Open Heart right? About the diagnoses? About me?”

There was no way Vigil didn’t already have an answer, but as if to show me they had really thought about it, they didn’t respond immediately. Instead their eyes looked up, scanning the nothingness above us as she faked deep thinking.

“He is. His way of broaching the subject was certainly harsh and blunt, but he is,” Vigil said.

My ears fell flat against my head, because despite acting as if I needed an answer, I knew Vigil was right. There had been several chances to call it quits before this point, and the longer things went on the less necessary it all became. Yet still I marched forward, not caring about the Tartarus I had been through because of it. Some of what happened it had been unavoidable if I had just been sensible and quit while I still could.

Yet on I went, making one excuse after another. I claimed it was about the Enclave, but it was not; I claimed it was about Anchor, but it was not; I claimed it was about Rainy and Clear, but it had never been about them. It was about needing a mission, that was it. Didn’t care what it was, didn’t care what it cost me, as long as I had some greater objective. Pride, revenge, none of that really mattered as long as I just had something to do.

“I’m a horrible pony,” I muttered to myself.

“Are you sure?” Vigil replied.

“How could I not be?” I asked the griffon. “I’ve thrown so much away for seemingly nothing. The M.A.M., nopony down here could build it. We couldn’t even build it.”

Once again Vigil made a show of thinking through their response, though this time it seemed far less fake and more real. “You are correct in some ways. You destroyed the life you had to push an unhealthy coping mechanism, hurting both you and many creatures around you….”

At Vigil’s answer, I hung my head low…

“But you are not this monster you are painting yourself as.”

And then immediately brought it back up to look at them. My confusion, melancholy, and shock was met with sympathy, sadness, and most strange of them all, joy.

“How?” I asked. “How can you say that?”

Vigil’s response was simple. “No monster could raise a family as lovely as your own.”

To that, my mind had no rebuttal. That was all Vigil wanted me to say and hear, because for the rest of our walk to the door we were both silent. The griffon’s words hit me just as hard, if not harder, than Hearty’s own earlier. It hurt, thinking of not only how they were both right, but how I had reacted to the ghoul’s own attempt to help understand all of this. As much of a piece of shit as he was, he did not deserve any ire from me.

Even in nothingness, that was clear as day.

When we reached the door, I gave Vigil another look. They placed their talon on the door, glancing at me as if to wordlessly ask ‘are you ready?’ I didn’t have a real answer. Just like the first time we talked, I was leaving Vigil in a state of mental turmoil. At least this time it wasn’t over my mortality.

A nod of my head, and death themself opened the door back to Underside. More specifically, it led back to Amaryllis’ room, the first thing to greet my eyes being Hearty turning the place over. He seemed at wits end by the time he turned to see Vigil’s door, and myself on the other side.

“Danse?”

“I’m… fine now,” I told him, tilting my head toward the griffon. “Had some help.”

Vigil leaned out of the door just enough for him to see them, his jaw dropping to the floor. “What the….”

“Pay me no mind, just return your patient,” Vigil said. They ushered me through the door. “Lets make our next talk a little less… dramatic, okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, managing a small smile.

With that, I walked through the door back into the real world, hooves hitting cracked and frayed carpet. Vigil spent no time making themselves scarce after that, closing the door and whisking it out of existence. Being death griffonfied is not exactly an easy job, I’m sure. Lots of things to do, and literally everywhere to be.

That left me with time to survey the damage I had done to the room. Seeing the twisted counters, melted fridge, and broken countertop was quite embarrassing. To think, my body had only just gained the ability to use magic a week or so ago and it could do that. I’d have to make sure it never happened again.

“So, uh,” Hearty stammered, staring at where Vigil’s door had once been, “that was who?”

“Oh, that’s Vigil,” I explained.

He blinked. “Vigil?”

“Yep.”

“You mean, that was death?”

“Pretty much.”

“And they suddenly snapped you to where-ever-the-fuck because…”

“They didn’t want me dying just yet.”

With a groan, they rubbed the area on their forehead just below their horn. It was impossible to not see the migraine the poor ghoul was getting from this. Seems dealing with the Dealer had not prepared him for a brief visit with death.

“I’m not going to ask further. Don’t have anything to drink it down,” he said, his hoof falling back to the floor. In the snap of a griffon’s talons, his face went from aggrevated to worried, the expression entirely focused on me. “So, are you feeling a bit calmer now?”

“Y… yeah,” I responded, lowering my head in humility.

I bit the inside of my upper lip, knowing what I needed to say to him and yet still absolutely terrified. A piece of me still wanted to continue as I always had, but the state of the room around me made it perfectly clear that wasn’t possible. There was no other choice but to admit what I didn’t want to, and allow the real me completely out.

The me that, since joining the Enclave, had been locked in a cage for what I had assumed was my own safety.

“Hearty,” I said, letting go of the militaristic edge in my voice. What was left sounded younger, maybe even foalish. “I… need your help.”

I don’t think he caught my words immediately, his brain still processing the vulnerability in my voice. I hated sounding so meek, yet if I was to show Hearty that I was serious about this, I had to let go of the facade. It was just hurting me now, and I knew it was not necessary anymore; I was tough without it.

“I’ve spent so long being a soldier, I’m not sure how to be anything else,” I said. “No, life never gave me the chance to be anything else. We still have a mission, but during it can you help me be… be me.”

It still took him several seconds afterwards to actually formulate a response. He knew he was talking to the real me, not the mask I had worn up until now. He seemed proud of me for that alone, hooking a foreleg across my withers and grinning madly.

“You’re a fucking idiot to think I alone can do it,” he joked. “Good thing you got more than just me around, huh?”

That’s the most Hearty way of saying ‘yes’ that I think I’ve ever heard out of him.

Not long afterwards, Hearty and I left Shattered Moon’s base. Neither of us had anypony in town to say goodbye to, so we made our way to the western gate. It gave me time to get used to the idea of being vulnerable, open. Nothing about it sat right with me, so much of myself begging to go back to my soldier-like self, but I stopped myself. Going back to it wasn’t good for me, I had to accept it.

It’s honestly embarrassing how hard it was for me.

When we arrived at the Underside’s west gate, I was surprised to see a small crowd forming. Considering the day prior I was initially worried something horrible had happened, but that wasn’t the case. The mumbles of the creatures present within the crowd were exceptionally less heavy, if still rather sobering. It was all about one mare, specifically a certain daughter of mine that this town saw as something of a hero.

“Miss Gemini is really leaving?”

“Is this because of the attempt on her life?”

“It really is not fair. Who would ever want someone as wonderful as her dead?”

“She’s probably going to join the Shattered Moon. Maybe help take down the Equalists!”

“What a brave, inspirational young mare she is.”

“Somepony is popular,” Hearty snarked as we started to push through the crowd towards our group. “Here I thought you were the talk of the town, coming back from the dead and all.”

“It’s probably not that interesting the second time,” I said in an attempted jest. The ghoul looked up at me, seeming both amused and disappointed at the same time. “What? Was that not good?”

“No. Nothing wrong with the joke, your delivery was just… stilted,” he responded, shrugging. “Though I guess you are somewhat right. Coming back from the dead is not ordinary, but these ponies have their own hero to worship.”

“Who told them about this? Last I checked, the decision to leave today was made last night. Nopony here should know.”

“Probably Amaryllis,” I muttered to my inner selves. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she woke up before us all and started spreading the word.”

“That… makes it hard to tell if it was in good faith or not.”

“From what we’ve seen of the changeling, it was probably both good and bad at the same time.”

With a little bit more weaving Open Heart and I managed to get through to the front of the crowd. There was a small bubble between it and our group, with the latter talking to different creatures. Falke was talking to his grandkids, likely reassuring them that he would be alright. Amaryllis with some of the crowd in their pony disguise, answering or assuaging the fears they held for Shining Gemini. My daughter herself was talking with a familiar Abyssian, holding a bag in her magic that I did not recognize. Basalt immediately noticed our approach, turning his attention away from Gemini and towards us with glee and enthusiasm.

“Well, there you two are!” he shouted, him and my daughter making their way up to us. “Your little girl here was getting pretty worried about how long you two were taking. Congrats to you both by the way, you make a wonderful family.”

“Th-thanks, Basalt,” I said, blushing slightly from embarrassment. Gemini looked similarly embarrassed by his announcement, and I heard some of the creatures closest to us in the crowd change their topics on the dime. “I didn’t expect to see you, or all of these other creatures for that matter.”

“Well, word gathered around pretty quickly about a supposed assassination attempt on you two last night. You’re both pretty well known at this point, but lots of folks are specifically pissed about it happening to Gemini,” Basalt said, crossing his arms and looking out to the crowd. “Then we all started hearing that you folks were leaving, and after what your daughter did for us Underside wasn’t about to give a half-assed goodbye. We came out in force for Underside’s little hero.”

“It’s… kind of a lot,” Gemini sheepishly admitted. Her eyes trailed the edges of the crowd, no doubt noticing how so many gazes landed on her specifically. “It feels nice so many creatures seem to care about me, but there are just so many!”

“You can thank him for that,” Basalt said with venom and disgust. His paw pointed towards Amaryllis, a grimace on his face. “Gemini told me everything the public didn’t know. Are you sure it’s a good idea to help them?”

“We’ve reformed worse,” Hearty replied smugly, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I playfully smacked the ghoul over the head for the comment, but couldn’t resist smiling myself. “With them exiled from their little cult, it shouldn’t be too hard to knock some sense into them.”

“That, and I’d be lying if we said it was impossible for somecreature like them to change,” I said. “After all, I’m here.”

Basalt did not look convinced, every look he gave the disguised changeling bringing with it a deep-seated sourness. Not that we could blame him, given the general outlook on changelings in Southern San Palomino. Anything Gemini told him no doubt reinforced whatever stereotypes and feelings the Abyssian had for them. It was going to take more than a coup to fix that.

“As long as Miss Gemini is safe. I was going to hire her before all of this happened,” Basalt said, one of his paws making circular motions in the air. “Guess I’ll just have to wait until you all get back.”

“I look forward to it, Mister Basalt!” Gemini said, beaming at the abyssian. As if it wasn’t clear enough that the two were basically friends.

I turned my attention to the bag Gemmy was holding, my curiosity getting the better of me. “What do you have there sweetie?”

“Oh, that’s right!” My daughter said. If she wasn’t beaming already, she most definitely was now. “Mister Basalt made a meal for us all today!”

My eyes went wide, turning my attention back to the Abyssian. Judging by the grin and his straight posture he had, he seemed pretty damn proud of himself.

“The least I could do for some wonderful customers,” he replied, “and the best musician I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to.”

If his goal had been to flatter me to the point of blushing the hardest I had in weeks, he had thoroughly done it. To the shock of everyone but Hearty, I found myself hiding that very same blush behind my wings. To be given a compliment like that by someone outside of Ironsight and Anchor, I wasn’t entirely sure my heart could take it. How could I not be bashful at it?

“Th-thank y-you, Basalt,” I managed to say. “I-I’m glad to know you liked it.”

“Just make sure to play for us again once you all get back,” he said. I nodded rapidly, and the Abyssian gave us a bow as he started to walk back towards the crowd. He had almost reached it before turning back to the rest of us. “Oh, one more thing Danse. Might I recommend giving Mysterioso a visit while you are off in Shorelock. I know his radio station is in the area, and they are always looking for new music.”

“I’ll keep it in mind!” I shouted back to him.

With that, Basalt disappeared into the crowd of creatures watching us. Gemmy, Hearty and I shared a look of appreciation and joy at the pub owner’s words before heading over to Falke. He was still talking with Gideon and Gigi, the two pestering him for any details they could on his job. It was going about as badly as expected.

“The answer is no you two. Please stop asking.”

“Come on grandpa! Surely there is something you can tell us!”

“You both know I’m not going to answer. So please stop.” Falke’s eyes snapped to us, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of us. “Besides, it seems we are just about to head out.”

The griffon siblings turned to us, their eyes immediately locking on Gemmy and myself. They rushed us both, nearling plowing right into me specifically. Gigi specifically seemed interested in me, those golden, avian orbs of her’s staring into mine with almost predator-like intensity. Not that I felt any fear from the young griff.

“Wow, you really do look different,” she stated. Despite being an adult, she was bouncing up and down like a foal with a new toy. “What happened? That ghoul friend of yours refused to tell anycreature and I’ve been dying to hear the old story.”

“Because the ghoul had no idea what the fuck was going on,” Hearty mumbled under his breath.

“If I had time to tell you Gigi, I would,” I said, motioning for the griffon to calm down. “Unfortunately we have to leave.”

“Oh come on, whatever happened can’t be that long of a story,” she said. “Just summarize it, please?”

“Leave the mare be, Gigi!” Falke shouted. Gigi flinched, her tail going straight in terror. “If she doesn’t want to tell you, then don’t force her.”

Gigi pouted at her grandpa, but he did not back down from his position. With a sigh, the younger griff snapped a talon in disappointment and made her way up to Gemmy and Gideon. Allowing the younger generation the time to talk in private, Hearty and I gave the older merc our attention.

“You two took longer than expected,” he said. “Everything alright?”

“For the most part,” Hearty said, shrugging. “Not my place to talk though. You want to know what happened, ask Danse.”

“No need,” Falke replied, physically waving the idea off with one foreleg. “I’m not going to open that can of worms again. Already one mare reveals uncomfortable things about themselves, and I still feel pretty bad about that.”

“It was Gemmy’s choice to let me reveal her history,” I reminded him, looking proudly over at my daughter. “She trusts you both enough, I think that says a decent bit about the impression you two have made on her.”

“Well it isn’t hard to make a good one when all you know is burnt shit,” Hearty replied, grimacing as he looked me in the eyes. “Still, I must admit that it feels weird that she trusts me considering I’m not exactly the nicest.”

“She must be able to see through it,” Falke said.

“Got no idea what you are talking about,” Hearty responded, his smile and a dramatic turn of his head letting on to the fact he very much did know what Falke was hinting at.

At that moment, Amaryllis joined the rest of us at the center of the crowd’s little clearing. Gigi and Gideon, knowing full well what that meant, gave a quick goodbye to my daughter and made their way towards the crowd. I gave those watching us another look over, taking in how many different species and types of ponies seemed to be gathered around. All of this for my little Gemmy, it made me wish I had been there to see what led to it.

“It seems like we are all ready,” the changeling said. They looked out to the crowd, a malevolent grin on their visage. “Though I don’t think they’ll be happy if their ‘hero’ leaves without a few words.”

I placed myself in front of Gemmy, making my stance on her words perfectly clear. Yet, much to my surprise, my daughter placed a hoof on my back and walked out from behind me. We looked at each other, the younger mare’s gaze seeming to switch between confidence and worry at a moment's notice. She wanted to do this, but she was too scared to stand there by herself. She needed me to stand next to her, and I wasn’t about to say no.

Gemmy and I stepped up, Hearty, Amaryllis, and Falke all taking a step back to give us both the spotlight. All eyes were on us, the murmurs dying down as everycreature around realized that we were about to address them. Gemmy’s ears were pinned against her head as she scanned them, an uncomfortable smile on her lips. I draped a wing around her at the sight, the act not quelling the fear, but allowing her to control it enough to speak.

“I… I want to thank everycreature for welcoming my family and I here in Underside!” she said. She needed to take a deep breath afterward, but it allowed her to say everything else she needed. “Before meeting my family and coming here, I never really had a place that I could call home. You all have been the closest thing to a home that I’ve ever had in my entire life. To talk with you, eat with you, enjoy life with you, it made me realize that there really is good in the world.

“Which makes it hurt so much that I have to leave now. There are so many of you I don’t know, but all of you know me. If I was able to I’d stay here and get to know each and every one of you, but I can’t. There are ponies out there who want me dead for reasons I don’t fully understand, and I don’t want to put all of you in harm's way by staying. That’s the main reason I’m leaving.”

She wiped her eyes with a hoof real quick, holding back the tears that threatened to burst free.

“I won’t be gone forever though. I’m going to be back one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. Until then I’m going to do everything I can to make San Palomino a better place for us all, one small thing at a time. That’s how I’m going to thank you all. So please, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine….” She turned to face me, and all that joy and happiness on her face seemed to quadruple in an instant. “Because I have some really great ponies around me. Ponies who love me a whole lot.”

The pride, joy, and love in her words were too much, there was no way I couldn’t hug her after that. I barely had my own hooves around her when her own wrapped around my withers, doing everything she could to squeeze me as hard as possible. We had barely been family for twenty four hours, and to hear her say that about me showed that she had seen me as a mom long before we made it official. It meant so much, more than I have words for. Gemmy is just way too sweet.

All the while, the crowd slowly went from whispers to cheers. They chanted her name, doing what they could to motivate her to follow through with what she said. It ended up being a bit much, Gemmy just squeezing me tighter the longer the cheers went on. Patting her back with one of my wings, we broke up the hug and joined the others.

My eyes immediately landed on the gate and the two numbers holding our weapons for us. We grabbed everything as it opened, and then made our way out with the crowd still cheering us on. I only looked back once, jaw dropping momentarily as I saw a familiar large, black griffon at the back of the ground. They smiled at me, waving a wing as if they wouldn’t be watching me like a hawk at all times. I lifted my chin up and grinned widely.

‘Isn’t my daughter amazing?’ it said.

Vigil simply nodded in understand. ‘Indeed she is Danse Macabre. Indeed she is.’

Audio files found on encrypted terminal

Play audio?

Yes No

Playing recording..

SM 1
Well, that’s quite a surprise. Didn’t expect some of the ship’s systems to still work.

SM 2
Hippogriffian engineering for you right there. Shit’s sturdier and more efficient than anything Equestria ever made. It’s part of why they annexed them after all.

SM 1
Still, to see terminals, lights, and otherwise still running after all of these years. It’s nothing short of a miracle.

SM 2
Not a miracle just yet. We still got to figure out where the megaspell bay on this thing was. Does it say anything?

SM 1
Nope, nothing. Not surprising, considering that the megaspell in question was top secret.

[Groan]

SM 1
Oh come on, it ain’t that bad. Sure, the Hurricane is a little infested from its years in the water, but feral ghouls and mutated sea life ain’t anything to worry about.

SM 2
It’s not the ghouls or sea life I’m worried about. There are only four of us in here, and this thing is massive. How the heck do they expect us to find the megaspell bay in this place?

SM 1
With time and patience. Sure it might have been quicker if the terminal had information on it, but four of us are more than enough to–

[Distant gunfire]

SM 1
The fuck is–

[Distant gunfire]

[Screams]

>> Fast Forward >>

SM 2
You want to what?

SM 3
Leave. We have to leave! If we don’t th-that thing will.

SM 1
Ten, calm down. What the fuck happened. Where is Nineteen?

Ten
Dead, sir.

SM 2
Dead?

Ten
W-We thought to check the lower areas of the ship, thought it might be there based on what knowledge we have of the Hurricane’s layout. It’s falling apart, but there are rooms down there that fit in with some of the blank spaces on what maps we have.

SM 1
What you saying Nineteen, a griffon, fell to his death.

Ten
No Fifty-Four. I never saw what it was but I know he went to check out what sounded like singing. Before I knew it, whatever he had gone to investigate had ripped out his throat and chest.

SM 2
What the fuck?

Fifty-Four
Singing? You sure that is what they heard.

Ten
Yes. Didn’t recognize the melody but there was something almost alluring about it. It must have some power behind it, that is the only way I can explain what happened.

Fifty-Four
…

SM 2
…

Ten
S-Sir?

Fifty-Four
Where was it?

Ten
Huh?

Fifty-Four
The singing you heard. Where exactly was it?