In Hot Pursuit

Back in her world, sapients were bipedal as a general rule, so that was one reason she didn’t recognize the stallion as a creature.

Also back in her world, citizens had normal coat colors—oh sure, there were some who dyed their fur as a fashion statement, but that was the exception and not the rule. To the degree that her brain noticed the stallion, it assumed it was some sort of painted advertising statue.

She didn’t barrel into his . . . barrel, she ducked under and crashed headfirst into his cock. Instinctively, she grabbed for it to keep herself from falling, wrapping her arms tightly around it while the stars in her vision resolved.

It took her a moment to realize what it was—it could easily have been mistaken for a leg, given its sheer size. It hung down just below her waist and was nearly as broad around as her torso, firm yet yielding under her bear hug.

Judy could feel the heat, could feel the pulse in the veins, could feel it moving around as the possessor of the penis leaned his head down to see what was grabbing him. “Hey!”

Now her mind started to do more work, filling in all the little details she missed in her dogged pursuit of her quarry:

1. This wasn’t Zootopia.

2. She was under the belly of a horse who could talk.

3. He was in a harness

4. Another horse was next to him, and she was also regarding Judy with amusement.

4a. The other was obviously a mare, since she had teats rather than a dick.

1. Staying here was a good way to get kicked down an entire block.

Judy relinquished her grip on the horsecock and rolled out from under his belly with an apology, her cheeks burning as she spoke, already having flashbacks to the Mystic Springs Oasis.

Her adversary, she noted, hadn’t taken the opportunity to run. Instead, he was just standing in the same spot with a bemused grin on his face.

For the first time she realized that he was also naked under his jacket. She’d already wondered how big his balls were to have kept his cool while she was behind him—now she knew. They weren’t as impressive as she’d imagined, but maybe that was because just a moment ago she’d had a bigger set right next to her head.

Things had gotten off to a weird start, but now that she wasn’t inadvertently giving a horse a handjob, Judy got right to the point. She was still on duty, and she had a job to do. “You’re under arrest for theft, fleeing, and public indecency. Close your jacket, turn around, and put your hands behind your back.”

To Judy’s surprise, he complied. Once she had him cuffed, she turned him back around. “What’s your name?”

“Capper.”

Judy pulled out her notebook and wrote that down. “Just Capper?”

“Dapperpaws.” He said that with a smirk.

“That a first or last name?”

“Can be either, depending on who you ask. Capper Dapperpaws or Dapperpaws Capper. Lord Capper Dapperpaws of Abyssinia.”

“Abyssinia, huh.” Judy had never heard of it, which wasn’t surprising. “So when my backup arrives—”

“When.” He tilted his head, indicating the street. “My dear Officer Hopps, where do you think you are?”

“We were just—” She looked around. Really really looked around, taking in for the first time the dirty street, the disheveled buildings, the unnaturally-colored quadruped horses—she knew her city, and this wasn’t part of it.

“It’s like a shitty Zootopia,” she finally admitted.

“Kludgetown,” Capper replied. “And it was a lot shittier in the Storm King’s day. You’re a long way from home, little bunny, and unless you’ve got a way to open the portal yourself—”

“Let me guess, if I let you go, you’ll open the ‘portal’ for me? Let me go home?” She made air-quotes around the word ‘portal.’

“I don’t need you to let me go.” Capper shifted his shoulders and twisted his back and a moment later handed her back her handcuffs. “Those flex cuffs on your belt would have been a smarter choice, those can’t be picked as easily. Don’t waste your time getting them, I can get out of those, too.” He undid the toggles on his jacket and let it fall open again. “Oh, and public nudity’s pretty much the norm here, so. . . “

“Doesn’t make it any less of a crime in Zootopia, there’s nudist enclaves there too, and as long as everyone stays on the property, it’s legal. But you weren’t.”

“Seems like you’re just grasping at straws, Officer Hopps. You think I’m going back to face my crimes? I’ll get you a portal home in a couple days, meanwhile just hang out and be a tourist. Who knows, you might find something you enjoy.”

🥕🥕🥕

There was a hotel just down the street. Dirty and run-down as the rest of Kludgetown, as would be expected, although as Judy stepped into the lobby it was obvious that they were trying. The inside was also not great but it was clean and the . . . character at the counter was attentive, at least. Some kind of bipedal fish, at a guess; thinking about it too much made her head hurt.

She’d hoped to spend the night on an out-of-the-way armchair and figure things out later, but the clerk spotted her, greeted her, and then—

“That a Zootopia police badge?”

“Yes?”

“Where’d you get it?”

Her Spidey senses started tingling at the question. She was in a different world and there was no reason that some random person would be familiar with her world. That having been said, it had been a weird day so far and there was no reason to not go further down the rabbit hole.

“I’m a cop. I got it by completing my training and getting sworn in like every other cop on the force.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. That’s a first.” He eyed her up and down. “In hot pursuit of a criminal, are you? Or did you get a little too curious about the portal?”

Judy leaned over the counter. “The portal, huh. What do you know about it?”

He waved his hand/fins in a non-committal manner. “Things. Don’t get many from your side. Cops know better than to sniff around. Most cops.”

“I’m not most cops.”

“Didn’t say you were.” He brushed some imaginary grit off the countertop, which did nothing to remove the permanent stains of ennui that permeated the whole hotel. “You looking for a room for the night?”

She’d already done the economic math in her head. She had a credit card and currency which would be useless except as art. She had the clothes on her back and her standard police-issue equipment which could potentially be traded. Her intention had been to save that for desperation, and based on how many forms she’d have to fill out for a lost item versus its street value.

And all of that was to be based on pure necessity. A hotel room would be nice, a continental breakfast—if they had those—would be nice, but she could live without those luxuries. The hotel lobby had been an obvious choice for a place where she could spend the night in relative comfort for no cost, but if that didn’t pan out, there were surely all-night diners or, barring that, reasonably safe alleyways or train stations.

“We take Terran dollars.”

Judy narrowed her eyes. “Do you now.”

He shrugged. “The economics are simple, there’s a fair bit of traffic to your world and of course any number of tourists need currency.”

“That’s rather convenient.”

“Being the hotel nearest the portal, it makes economic sense. Your change will, of course, be in bits. But I can assure you that we offer a fair exchange rate. If you don’t believe me, just ask around.”

“I believe you.” She didn’t entirely, but wasn’t going to waste a whole bunch of her time checking with every merchant on this street. “Why do you even have a portal to Zootopia?”

“Ponyville has a portal to a land of weird furless bipedal creatures, why shouldn’t we have one of our own?”

That wasn’t much of an answer, but it was honest. And while Judy was a cop, sworn to uphold the laws of Zootopia, her duties didn’t include immigration; that was another department outside her pay grade. Nevertheless, she was going to do some research and make some phone calls when she got back.

“How much for one night, then?”

“You sure you don’t want two? It’s cheaper to buy two, and the portal won’t re-open for a couple of days, you know.”

“Fine, two.”