The smell of hayburgers filled the kitchen as I quickly worked through another six orders. An hour before the lunch rush, I had come to work, set my station up, and went at it the moment ponies started filling tables. I have now realized that I actually enjoy working in fast food, but I hate dealing with angry, assoholic bitch customers. Like whenever a pony got a wrong sandwich, which was rare, they walked up to the counter and pointed out what was wrong. Then the pony in question get a second sandwich and they’re happy.

That… actually makes me wonder if spending all that time getting a degree in psychology is worth it. I mean, I can make people happy by just giving them food that they enjoy, as cheap as said food was, then I was happy. Granted, it wasn’t the type of people that I thought I would be making happy, but they’re still people. I threw together another hayburger, but without pickles… I know, an insanely complex sandwich. Just the patty, meat, cheese, lettuce… hay? But isn't the patty made of hay already? You know, I never really paid much thought to it, but why would you put hay on a hayburger?

Oh well, I barely eat hayburgers, so it wasn’t my problem.

“Hey Fruit,” I looked up from my station, now that all my orders were done, to face a colt. I think this kiddo was in what would be the equivalent of sophomore year back at home. Flipper, or just Flip as he likes to go by, was a unicorn with a dark gray coat, a black mane, and a cutie mark with a chef’s hat on it. This was the grill pony we had on shift today, and he was a good kid from what I could gather. I dunno, whenever I’m here, I get so engrossed in putting orders together that I haven’t really paid attention to what was happening with my coworkers.

“Yeah Flip?” I asked as an order was handed to me, and was promptly done within thirty seconds, all five sandwiches.

“You’re a unicorn…” Flip said, moving some of the hay patties to a holding grill to keep them warm.

“Yeah…”

“Why aren’t you using your magic to make sandwiches? I bet I could be faster than you if I were taught how to make sandwiches, since I’d be using my magic. In fact, let me make the next order!” I shrugged, and walked over to the grill, taking the spatula and scraping the excess hay that stuck to the grill’s surface. An order was handed to Flip, and he started to make a sandwich on said order. If the kid wants to show that he’s better than I am, let him. It’s good to give somebody- somepony this young a bit of confidence.

“See? I can be fast!” Flip said with a cocky smile as he got one sandwich done in about forty to fifty seconds.

“Eh, not too shabby, Flip. But lemme tell you why I don’t use magic to make sandwiches.” We swapped back positions as another order came in, a nice, big one with twelve sandwiches on it. “I’m gonna need some more patties by the way,” Flip smirked, pointing at the grill with a hoof. There were already pattes on it. “Nice. Anyways, I don’t use magic because it was never really my strong suit, in fact, I don’t think I’ve managed to learn how to even use it to begin with. Just couldn’t wrap my head around the stuff, so I just focused on hoof dexterity.” I got all twelve sandwiches done in a minute with my hooves to prove my point.

“Plus at my old job…” I hummed. “I used to pretty much work in an environment like this for nearly ten years. Never had to use magic once during any of those ten years, which really helped with hoof dexterity.”

Flip snickered. “So ‘you can’t use magic’ is what you’re saying.”

“Pretty much. Never found an interest in it.” Honestly, I didn’t see the point. If I got good enough with my hooves, which I’d like to think I’m getting the hang of, I can probably be just about as good as a unicorn with magic. Plus, I can just learn how to use magic later, and then be more versatile should the situation arise.

“Hey, no shame in that. I just think you could go much faster…” An order was handed to me and we both read it. Thirty meals, thirty meals for a company lunch. “If you used magic,” Flip said, looking up to see that I already had half the hayburgers done by the time he was done reading the order. “Fruit, what the buck is wrong with you? You’re going faster than our last sandwich pony, and they were a unicorn that used their magic!”

“Remember when I said I worked in an environment like this for the last ten years?” Flip nodded. “I was a manager for nine of those. On top of that, imagine this order, but constantly. Like every other order is… forty bits each, seven to twelve sandwiches constantly, for just the breakfast rush. If there is one skill I’ve managed to pick up during my time, it’s making orders like this very quickly.”

“You gotta teach me how to… you’re making six sandwiches. All at once.”

“Just a tip for when we actually teach you this station: if you see one or more sandwiches that are the exact same, make both at once. For instance, a double with only ketchup… and another!” I pulled out top sets of buns, and slathered the inside of the top buns with ketchup before promptly finishing them.”

“I… never would’ve thought about that. Not even Mr. Mint thought of that! You gotta teach me how to work with my hooves like you do!”

“Uh… trade secret?” I asked with a small smirk. Hooves, despite not having fingers or thumbs, really weren’t too different from using hands. “But seriously, all you gotta do is work something like this,” I had finished up the company meal order. “For a long time. Practice makes perfect… Even Princess Celestia had to start somewhere when it comes to how… smart she is. When I first started ten years ago, I was terrible at this job. A few months of constantly doing it, and I was way better.”

“Aw c’mon! That’s a lame explanation.”

“Accurate my explanation is. To be perfect, practice one- son of a… buck.” I dropped one of the sandwiches for the thirty sandwich order. I opened the wrap, looked it over, before chucking it in the trash. “And even with lots of practice, you can still screw up.” I quickly remade the sandwich before handing it to Mr. Mint to bag up.

“You still gotta admit it, Fruit, you’re still damn good at your job,” Mr. Mint said before quickly bagging all thirty meals. “Good hustle guys, that dinner rush went over very smoothly! Y’all are good to go…” The doorbell rang as… Luna of all ponies walked into the building.

“Forgive us- me for coming at such a late hour, but we were hoping to speak to Fruit Punch?” Luna cocked her head. Ah, she’s learning how to speak modern Ponish… or English.

I waved at Luna before going in the back to retrieve my jacket and hat.

I could’ve sworn I’ve seen Flip was watching Luna’s flanks as she led me out the building. That’s right kiddo, I see you.

“So, why did you want to speak with me?” I asked, now wearing a simple baseball cap and very light jacket. Luna was walking beside me, leading me to the castle… I think. I wasn’t exactly paying attention to where we were going.

“We- I was hoping to spend time with th-you tonight. You said we can still hang out and be friends. And we were hoping to spend some time with thee.”

As we walked, an awkward silence overtook the atmosphere. It was getting kinda late, and the Sun was beginning to set. Luna stopped and floated up to the sky as her horn lit up… as the moon, surrounded in the same blue aura that engulfed Luna’s horn, came into the sky at its apex, before coming to a stop. I stared at it for a couple of minutes, blinked, and then turned to Luna who was now grinning like an idiot.

“What? We were not called the Princess of Night without reason, Fruit Punch.”

“So I’m just gonna assume that Celestia, Princess of Day, or whatever fancy title she has, is capable of raising and lowering the Sun.” I cocked my head before sighing. “Honestly, I wish I was more surprised, but given that this is a land full of magical ponies that can apparently move clouds, teleport, and whatever the hell else, I’m not surprised. It’s weird to know that the day and night cycle are controlled by two alicorns, but I…” I want to drink some beer. I wanna forget all of this.

Chrysalis bought a whole case of that blueberry beer and I don’t have work tomorrow…

Surprisingly, instead of leading me to the castle, Luna had led us just outside of Canterlot, crossing over a bridge that was right next to a great waterfall… Holy shit that view. Off in the distance I could see a small little town. I don't know the name of said town, but it looked really nice and cozy. Now that the night sky was out, I was immediately taken aback at just how wondrous it was. Back at… home, or New York City, you really couldn’t see any stars since they were blotted out by city lights.

This was beautiful. I trotted away from the path we were walking down, and plopped my ass right in the grass and looked up at the sky. Considering how loud New York was, and even Canterlot to an extent, some peace and quiet is always welcomed. I watched as stars twinkled and shined, as a full moon shone nice and bright, but nowhere near as bright as the Sun. It was welcoming to say the least.

A soft breeze rushed past me, ruffling my mane, as I realized that Luna was sitting beside me.

“Quite the night, is it not?” Luna asked.

“Oh yeah… Sometimes I wish I could just leave home and sit out in a field like we are right now. I never really got the chance because of my work taking so much of my time.”

“Does… do tho-you miss thy home?” Luna asked.

“Kinda. Having hands was pretty nice, the technology humanity has makes anything you ponies have look like stone age equipment. Did you know that we humans have invented a box that can quickly heat food up? It’s called a microwave… it was really all I knew how to use beyond an oven. There are some other things, like my coworkers, or rather, my employees… Sure, there were times where I wished I wasn’t working in such a dead end job, but I was well off so I didn’t complain.

“And of course, when given an opportunity to start over and choose a not so dead end job, I end up choosing a job that is almost exactly the same as my old one. Except now I’m a horse with a horn with magic I don’t know how to use, or want to understand, or else I'll be a freak that sits and reads magic books all day. I’m pretty much living the same life I was living back at home, but with way more free time. It’s kinda lonely to say the least, since I can still barely talk to anybody without fearing that I might somehow offend them due to slight differences in pony and human psychology.”

Luna nodded, before turning to stare off into the distance.

“We can… somewhat understand how you feel. Everything, language, culture, even simple things such as choosing a mate differs from what it was like a thousand years ago. We… Have you heard of what we did? Of the awful things we did?” I shook my head.

“We… tried to overthrow our sister, to try and kill her, because of several cults trying to demonize me at every chance they get. From how my night was to my constant attempts at trying to bring the world into chaos, to something small such as a pony stubbing their hoof on a dresser. No matter how minor one's misfortune was, it was my fault. Then one day I snapped and… got banished to the Moon before I could cause any serious damage!”

Luna sighed before looking at me. “And everypony still gives me side eyes. Like I’ll turn and try to stab my sister in the back. Even if Celestia has welcomed me back with her wings held open for me.”

I placed a hoof on the Princess’s shoulder. “Y’know, some ponies could be giving you the side eye. Tell me, how common is it for homosexual relationships amongst you ponies?”

“It is fairly common. Especially amongst females; even now there is a higher number of females than males. Polygamy is quite common, where a stallion marries more than one mare. Or if an entirely female couple wants foals, they seek out a stallion friend of theirs.”

“So some ponies could be checking you out, both stallions and mares. I cannot say what is considered attractive amongst y’all equines, but… I’m certain just about everybody in this country considers Celestia to be, sorry for my lack of better words, incredibly sexy?” Luna nodded. “So who’s to say you’re just as, if not more attractive? Heck, you probably got a leg up in that department over Celestia. You’ve gotta have that ‘dark and mysterious’ thing going for you due to how long you’ve been banished… And how long you’ve been isolating yourself from the public.”

“But-“

“I saw how my coworker, Flip, was staring at you when you walked in Hayburger. That kid was checking you out, and I’m certain he grew up with whatever folklore sprouted up around you and… your fall to the dark side. And even then he still probably thought you were pretty as hell at a minimum.” I gestured to all of her. “Get it? Because your fur’s a dark tone and you’re the Princess of the Night- nevermind. My point is, not everybody is gonna like you, but I doubt that they all absolutely hate you. In time, I’m certain everybody will love you just as much as they love Celestia.”

We both sat in silence, just staring out at the night sky.

“Fruit?” I turned to Luna. “Thank you.” Luna, despite being two heads taller than I at full height, leaned up against me. Jesus, alicorns are fucking heavy!

I had finally noticed something about Luna’s speech. “Huh. You dropped the whole Royal speech.”

“I… do it to annoy Celestia with how long it’s supposedly taking me to adjust my language into a more modern form. And I have heard it would annoy her student, or at the very least, confuse Twilight Sparkle. And… sometimes I still use it while speaking to my subjects.”

“Lemme guess, you drop it while speaking with friends?” Luna nodded. A small smile grew on my face. Honestly, with how much Luna and I have in common, mainly knowing what it's like to be dropped in a… seemingly alien world. While the circumstances for having those feelings are different, it’s still the same feeling.

There’s a bit of comradery in that.

“You must be tired! I’m sorry for keeping you from your home for so long!” Luna shot to her hooves. “Goodnight Fruit, I look forward to our next talk.” Luna spread her wings and took off. I blinked a couple of times, since just before Luna made her great escape, she nuzzled me and disappeared. Y’know what?

Luna’s quite alright despite her first impressions on me, which was a forced mating session that almost happened if Celestia wasn’t present.

I slowly opened my house’s door, before quickly walking inside, hoping to not wake Chrysalis. I’ve yet to make so much as a squeak as I walked over to the ice box to quickly- a candle suddenly lit up on its own. Nope, nevermind, Chrysalis was sitting on the couch, tapping the couch’s arm with a hoof with a ‘gotcha’ expression on her face.

“Why were you so late getting home? Your house is a half hour walk from home, and you said you were off shortly after six. It is currently eleven at night, Mr. Fruit.” Chrysalis, in her natural buggy form, hopped off the couch and slowly crept towards me. The look in her eyes was similar to that of a dog that had just caught sight of a squirrel.

“Uh… somebody wanted to speak with me?”

“Who was this somepony?”

“Luna.” I could hear Chrysalis stopped, now within an inch of my face. I am dead. I am simply going to die. The loom Chrysalis was giving me was kinda scary-

“I’m just glad you made it home safely,” Chrysalis nuzzled me on the forehead, before walking to my side. “Come now, I have prepared something called a ‘walking taco’ for your dinner. Then you are to go to sleep just in case you have work tomorrow.”

“But I don’t-“

“Then you’re still going to sleep, because a creature as lovely as I, cannot look her best without her beauty sleep! And I cannot sleep if you’re awake and making noise!”

Chrysalis had then promptly picked me up in her magic and skipped along to the dining room table where two plates of walking tacos were sitting. There was a nice bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase in the middle of the table. Lastly, there were two wine cups and a bottle of the blueberry booze sitting next to the vase.

Chrysalis

Come on, Fruit. This is the most obvious ‘let’s date’ set up I could come up with. You should surely know that, by now, I want to have you as my coltfriend-

“Those are some nice flowers.” Fruit noted before sitting at the table, waiting for me to join him for dinner. Did he actually know what was going on or… Fruit took a bite of his food after I had taken mine.

“So, why did Princess Luna wish to speak with you?” I asked.

“Luna wanted to vent her frustrations. So I let her vent, and I talked her through some of her problems in hopes that I could help that woman out. Everyone deserves to be happy… somebody finds happiness in being a murderer, they don’t get to have happiness at that point.”

Luna best stay away from this stallion; he’s going to be mine.

Fruit took a sip of the rum I had bought for occasions like this, only to belch as loudly as possible. I… don’t think Fruit gets what this setup was trying to lay out for him, since Fruit basically fell asleep in his chair after eating his food.

You cute little idiot… I love you.

I carried Fruit to bed and curled my body around him in a protective manner. Nopony, and no creature shall bring harm to this stallion under my watch.

Author's Note

Very important news:

Next chapter, Fruit will sell pizza, and he will get rich off it.