There Is Nothing I Do Better Than Revenge

by Drunk Luna

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Gore, Violence, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon, Original Character
Length: 1951

What does the heartbroken daughter of a demoness do after a breakup? She runs to her powerful mother, who will do anything to protect her baby.

Equestria has fallen. The New Lunar Republic stands in its place with Nightmare Moon at its helm.

Nightmare Moon’s beloved daughter, Eris, is devastated after her boyfriend breaks up with her. Luckily for Eris, her mother is the darkest entity known to ponykind, and though the sovereign of the night is a cruel ruler, she is fiercely protective of her daughter. Nightmare Moon is about to teach this colt a very important lesson: Never, ever mess with the daughter of darkness.

(Yes, the title is taken from the song “Better Than Revenge” by Taylor Swift.) https://youtu.be/KdJHBYb8S4Y

Published 2023-03-24 15:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-24 15:30:00 UTC

Now Go Stand In The Corner And Think About What You Did

Forty black caskets lay side by side, all draped in the flag of the New Lunar Republic, against the backdrop of hundreds of newly constructed, contemporary buildings. Fortunately, the Republic had only lost forty of its heroic warriors, but every casualty was still a devastating blow. Nightmare Moon bowed her head for a moment, reflecting on those courageous young stallions who had so readily answered her call to arms.

Sighing at her own realization of the surprising weight and cost of her victory, Nightmare Moon nodded to the gravediggers, who grabbed their shovels and spades and got to work filling the mass grave, which would soon become a war memorial. She spread her mighty black wings and caught the wind, looking down on the country that now belonged only to her. She landed on the main balcony of what used to be Canterlot Castle, but was now the center of government for the New Lunar Republic. Executions of anypony in opposition to the Republic were moving apace, as was the construction of countless glossy new government buildings. Nightmare Moon grinned as a statue of Celestia was toppled in the distance, eliciting deafening cheers. She sighed again, this time with a sense of relief and pride that she had more support from her citizens than the sun bitch and the purple alicorn with the pink cutie mark ever could have imagined having. Everything was as it should have been. The New Lunar Republic would soon be the most formidable, prosperous nation on Equus.

The sound of hooves distracted the black mare, who looked over her shoulder and felt her face break into a warm, soft smile at the sight of her seventeen-year-old daughter, Eris. The dark purple alicorn joined her mother on the balcony, devastation written all over her delicate features. Nightmare Moon gasped and turned to the filly, her maternal instincts overpowering any of her other priorities.

“Eris, my little moon flower,” she said, lowering herself slightly to wrap her wing around the distraught young princess, “what troubles you, my dear? Tell me. Mama is here now, and I will make it all better.” She gave the filly a comforting nuzzle as Eris buried her dished face into her mother’s neck and let her tears flow freely, her body shaking with sobs. Nightmare Moon’s heart broke as she stroked the filly’s soft, thick mane.

“Sssshhhh, there, there, my most beautiful night,” she cooed, nuzzling Eris’ temple. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, darling, I won’t be able to help you. Please, sweetheart, tell your mama what ails you.” She gave Eris one more encouraging nuzzle, prompting the filly to raise her head.

“It’s… it’s Dark Heart,” she whimpered. “He cheated. I caught him cheating with my best friend—my former best friend, Aubergine.” Eris’ voice broke, and she began to wail. A primal rush of maternal rage surged into the demoness’ heart, and she narrowed her eyes.

“You two have been together for two years,” Nightmare said gently. “How did you learn of his infidelity with your best friend?”

“I saw a video of him making out with her,” Eris sobbed, her cries encompassing nothing but pure, unmistakable heartbreak. “He keeps blowing up my phone trying to apologize, but I don’t want an explanation from him; that video speaks for itself.” Nightmare Moon didn’t need to hear anything more. Her vision turned scarlet for a fraction of a second, but she calmed herself, knowing her little one needed her strength right now.

“Go to your room, curl up in bed, and watch some Netflix, dearest daughter,” she said, giving Eris a tender nuzzle. “You can also order as many movies as you want; we are royalty, after all, and I don’t care about how taxpayer money is spent when we use it for our personal enjoyment and entertainment. There is a fresh pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer for you. I will take care of this… creature. Nopony hurts my baby without paying dearly.” She kissed Eris on the forehead. “Where does he live, Eris?” The filly sniffled, then met her mother’s turquoise eyes.

“Just outside Ponyville.”

“I shall give both of them an unforgettable experience, my sweet. Now, relax, all right? Ignore his messages; he does not deserve your attention. I love you, my beautiful night.” The demoness gave Eris a final kiss on her temple, then took off into the dark, starry abyss.

On the outskirts of Ponyville, a teenage Earth pony lay in bed, scrolling through his phone. A thick mop of greasy black mane concealed one of his sage green eyes. His bedroom window flew open, and the room began to fill with billowing black smoke.

“Dark Heart,” a voice thundered, “you have destroyed the peace of the beloved daughter of your ruler. Prepare to suffer a reality of pain and terror beyond your comprehension.” The smoke thickened, clogging the colt’s lungs as ashes floated around him. He coughed, desperately trying to breathe as a heavy iron chain was wrapped around his throat. Dark Heart lurched forward as the chain was pulled roughly, and a millisecond later, he found himself nose to nose with the mistress of darkness, who chuckled softly.

“Well, well,” Nightmare Moon said, “it seems that yours will be the first execution to take place in the New Lunar Republic. What an historic moment for our glorious nation. It’s been so long since the last time my lust for blood was satisfied. Don’t think for a second that you will be considered a martyr. You are filth, pony,” she spat, looking him up and down as her lip curled in disgust. “You are nothing more than a pathetic, insignificant cockroach who doesn’t deserve the honor of being executed by me, but because you have caused great pain for my daughter, you and the whore with whom you cheated have committed treason against the republic, and both of you will suffer and perish by my hoof tonight. You signed your own death warrant when you decided to hurt my precious child. Do you have anything to say before your sentence is carried out?” Nightmare Moon loosened the chain just enough for the young stallion to speak a few words.

“Please,” he gasped weakly, his body convulsing as he struggled with every breath. “Please, have mercy.” Nightmare Moon threw her head back, cackling.

“Oh, I haven’t laughed this hard in millennia,” she purred once she had caught her breath. “You truly believe that begging will get you somewhere, don’t you? That is absolutely hilarious!” She chuckled, her laughter growing once again as she looked down and noticed a large puddle beneath the colt’s hooves.

“How pathetic,” Nightmare Moon taunted. “Do you need a diaper, little foal? Do you always piss yourself when you’re afraid? It’s a good thing you didn’t end up with my beautiful daughter; she doesn’t need a wretched fool like you. Do you know what happens to cheaters, those who hurt the innocent, and other disgusting ponies who don’t keep their little heads to themselves?” She smirked, her eyes dancing with anticipation as Dark Heart trembled and shook his head.

“When I’m feeling merciful, they lose their big heads first,” the goddess said, “however, unfortunately for you, I have no sympathy for anypony who causes any physical or emotional distress for my precious Eris; in fact, hurting her is the worst sin a pony can commit. In all of my daughter’s seventeen years, nopony has been stupid enough to hurt her—until now.” She glared down at him, loosening the reins on her anger. Nightmare Moon began to shake with fury, and her eyes turned blood red.

“Prepare to suffer for a billion eternities, you piece of shit.” With one swoop of her horn, Nightmare Moon delivered a blast of acid to the apex of Dark Heart’s thighs. The colt screamed in agony, struggling against the chains that bound him. Nightmare Moon grinned and kicked the newly severed pieces of flesh aside, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“I can’t believe my daughter would ever waste her time on such a poorly-endowed stallion,” she scoffed. “Eris really dodged a bullet. I must make sure she never settles for anypony like you ever again. Now,” Nightmare said, “it’s time for you to be euthanized like the carnal, uncontrollable bastard that you are. I bet your whore of a mother will be glad her little mistake no longer exists after all this is over. I would hang you upside down and slit your throat like a pig, but pigs are actually quite intelligent, much more so than a dung beetle like you, who just so happened to end up in the body of a pathetic, impotent eunuch.” She giggled girlishly. “I’m getting bored, though; it’s time to do all the young mares in the New Lunar Republic the greatest favor they’ll never hear of.” With a final blast of turquoise magic, Nightmare Moon cut Dark Heart in half, smiling as his upper body hit the floor with a satisfying thud. She kicked his remains toward the waiting guards.

“What would you like us to do with his corpse, Ma’am?” one of the guards asked, holding the colt’s severed posterior by the right hind leg.

“I don’t care,” the demoness replied shortly. “Just dispose of it discreetly so that Eris doesn’t see it; I don’t want her to feel any worse than she already does. This bastard will never hurt another mare again. You have assisted me in doing a great service for Equestria; you two are dismissed, and you may take the rest of the evening off. Go home and spend time with your foals, for I am about to do the same with my own.” The guards clicked their heels, bowed, and saluted their mistress before heading off to their barracks. Nightmare Moon sighed and headed off to another house that wasn’t far from Dark Heart’s, where an eggplant colored unicorn was flipping through a magazine. Her face was covered in heavy makeup, and the smell of her cheap perfume wafted through the open window.

“The other mare is always less pretty than the girlfriend,” Nightmare Moon muttered to herself in disgust, wrinkling her nose. “This is for Eris, you little slut!” She released a fiery stream of magic, burning the teenage filly alive until nothing remained of her body except for a pile of ash. With a snort of indignation, the goddess turned swiftly and flew home, teleporting to the hallway outside of Eris’ room.

“Eris, my sweet?” she said softly, knocking on her daughter’s bedroom door. She nudged the door open and smiled softly when she saw the filly curled up in her bed, sleeping peacefully. The demoness walked over to Eris and tenderly brushed an unruly strand of mane from the young mare’s face.

“I love you more than the night itself, sweetheart,” Nightmare Moon whispered, gently stroking Eris’ cheek. “I will always protect you. You mean more to me than the country I rule, for it is only soil, water and sky. You are my true night, Eris—the best thing I have ever done. I love you so very, very much, my darling.” She dropped a soft, tender kiss on Eris’ forehead, taking extra care to avoid waking her as she made sure that the filly was still breathing. Nightmare Moon then discarded the empty ice cream container on Eris’ bedside table and silently left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. The republic was secure, and so was her daughter’s happiness. The glorious eternal night had begun, and all would be well.