PonlyFans

by SockPuppet

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Slice of Life, Sex, Yona, Human, Gallus, Main 6
Length: 1149

The ponies become very popular streamers.

The ponies become very popular streamers.

Cover art by Pabbley. Thanks to brainstorming help on Discord, and to Majin Syeekoh, Samey90, and Mockingbirb for pre-reading.

Inspired by this tweet.

Note: "Teen" content rating pre-approved by Majin.

Audio Reading!

Published 2023-04-04 08:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-04 08:40:01 UTC

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The article on Forbes began:

Erotic content creators are the latest industry to feel their livelihoods threatened by our pastel equine visitors from across the dimensions. OnlyFans, a bastion of home-made pornography, "alleged" child exploitation, and hacked credit card numbers, allows creators to post their often-erotic content to subscription or pay-per-view customers. The pickings have long been slim, most OnlyFans creators making well less than US$100 per month, and a tiny few making tremendous incomes. But even those elite few are now losing subscribers as ponies have rocketed to the top of not just OnlyFans, but also Twitter, Twitch, Facebook, Instagram, and other services. Although the ponies seem to refuse to make clearly explicit content, their suggestive streams leave just enough to the imagination that viewers throw money at them in hopes for more. Let's explore some of the content that has rocketed the ponies to the top slots of OnlyFans...

"All right, howdy y'all, and welcome to Sweet Apples Streaming. Today's first here email—" she squinted at her iPad, the midday sunlight bright on the screen "—is from see bee tea fan six nine. Whoowhee, lotsa you humans have them same three initials. See Bee Tea here is a Red Delicious-tier subscriber and he requests, 'Dear Sweet Apple Streaming, could you please put my name on one of the trees before you buck it?' Boy howdy, I dunno why all y'all just keep on askin' that, but here at Sweet Apple Streaming, we aim to please! Mac, label the tree."

Big Mac, holding a sharpie marker in his mouth, wrote CBTfan69 on the tree's bark.

She put down her iPad, pulled her hat low over her eyes, and prepared to deliver a crushing buck to the tree, her hindquarters tensed and rippling with muscles under her sweaty coat.

"Hey wait, AJ, hol' up! CBT here's request is for me to buck it."

"Well, all righty then, Apple Bloom, I ain't see any reason why you can't give it a buck."

"Dear Purple Bookhorse," she read from the monitor, "Please read from 'A Tale of Two Data Structures,' by Knuth Dickens. Please don't use your wings or magic to fetch it."

Her ears flicked and she frowned momentarily. "Why do you all want me to grab the books that way? Magic is far more efficient."

She nosed the step ladder to the proper shelf and hopped to the top step. The book was on the very top row and she stretched her body out, with the camera directly behind her, in order to reach it. Her tail stretched straight backwards to counterbalance her awkward position.

Nine hundred dollars in tips arrived in the six seconds her tail was held up and away from her body.

"All righty righty!" She dropped the spatula into the sink, joining the huge pile of dirty dishes and baking accouterments. "There you go! 'A buttercream cake, frosted with white cream frosting!' Thank you thank you thank you to CreamPieFanR34 for this week's Cupcake-tier-subscriber special dessert baking request!"

The cake sat in its baking dish on the counter, covered in a thick layer of white frosting.

"Oh! Now for my favorite part! I get to lick the bowl!"

The mixing bowl contained the dregs of the creamy white frosting. She put her entire head into the bowl, licking the bottom clean. When she was done and looked back at the camera, her face and mane were covered in globs of the sticky white confection. "Until next time!"

"Welcome to another Grrrreat and Powerrrrful Stream! Today's request is..." she glared at the monitor. "Another escape trick? Why are these so popular? Our great and powerful assistant, Starlight, will bind up your great and powerful host!"

She leaned down, rump high and forequarters low, as ropes levitated around her torso and legs. "Make sure the bonds are tight, our great and powerful subscribers want a good magic trick! Bind me tight! The Great and Powerful Tr—mmmmmmpf!" She gasped around the ball gag that was suddenly in her mouth.

The assistant grinned at the camera and winked.

"Another request for rear leg work, huh?" She brushed her sweaty forelock from her eyes. "'Dear Workout Horse, please put the camera where we can see the technique better this time.' Okay, can do. My specialty is cardio, but I'm awesome enough to get in some extra strength training."

She moved the streaming camera to face one of the weight benches. A barbell waited for her and she laid flat on the bench, rainbow tail towards the camera and head away from the camera, and got her rear hooves under the barbell. Her wings flopped loose. "This is about fifteen percent more than my body weight. Okay, Bulk, come spot me."

"Yeeeah!"

Once the huge stallion was spotting her, the small mare started pumping the iron with her rear legs, showing off her muscular hips and butt.

As she pumped the iron, her tail unconsciously relaxed toward the floor and the stream gained a flood of upvotes.

"This week Diamond-tier subscriber 'Smash Fan double-naught Seven' request yak SMASH! Haha, yak smash on every stream. This special request, yak smash special guest star Gallus! And smash yak's very special friend Sandbar!"

They trudged in from off camera. "I'm scared."

"Here, Gallus, take helmet if scared like little baby chick."

"Griffons don't like helmets."

"Griffon also should take shoulder pads. Did griffon sign waiver of liability?"

"...Is that what that form was?"

"Now Sandbar take helmet. Smashing will begin soon. Stream subscribers have been asking long time for stream where Yona smash two guys, but Yona not sure why."

"Come in, girls. Hello, stream viewers, Darlings. The weather forecast for Nightmare Night—I'm sorry, Halloween, on this side of the portal—is for frigid cold and possible sleet. Therefore, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom here... oh, hello, Diamond Tiara, so good to see you too! ...will be helping me show you how to sew warm, tight-fitting stockings with good grip on the hooves for the freezing rain. Scootaloo here is wearing a 'Kerbal Space Program' astronaut costume, so she shall need orange stockings that resemble her space suit. Scootaloo, turn around and give me your back leg—"

***

"—and furthermore," continued the furious post, "I take umbrage at the accusations of foal exploitation for what was clearly an innocent cultural misunderstanding. If OnlyFans refuses to reinstate my account, I shall move my stream and all its associated monetization here to my Twitch."

The article on Forbes concluded:

...whether one believes the ponies' (and yaks', and griffons', and others) assertions that they don't intend the sexual interpretations of their streams or not, it's clear that the viewership wants to buy what the ponies are selling, and human creators are going to have to up their game in order to compete.