I know! Crazy, right? But it was just as the title of this chapter says!

Of course I know what the chapter titles are. Glitter lets me see everything!

But there was no denying what was before us on that awful, awful screen. Looking back at us was a face that I had really hoped we wouldn't be seeing again any time soon.

Yep. Chris was back, and still giving autistic spectrum disorder a bad name. Sorry for going off on a tangent here, but the fact he's the most documented person of recent times with the condition, a worrying number of people on the internet think most people with ASD are like that. Which is crazy, as it implies they don't understand what the word spectrum means.

Other than that, they assume people with the condition are either stupidly smart or can't do anything other than walk in circles, which is really annoying.

Anyway, rant over. I was looking at the screen in surprise, and noticing Sunny was similarly surprised too.

"What's wrong, Sunny?" I asked.

"I thought he fell off a cliff!" Sunny replied, glancing up and down as she did. "How did he get back up the cliffside in one piece?"

"I don't know, but it appears he can't hear what we are saying," I replied, with a wry smile. "So we could take the opportunity to wind him up!"

"I can, actually," said the face on the screen. Phewy. I was glad there was a screen in the way, but I could still smell his aroma from here. Does that guy ever bathe?

I smiled, and looked at him with a grin. "Hello Ian," I said. "Having any luck with Kacey?"

This seemed to enrage Chris, who looked pretty cross. "How many times have I had to tell people that my name is not IAN. BRANNAN. SOMETHING!"

"He said it!" Sunny said, jumping up and down. "Now, does anypony have a pickle costume?"

"I will not let the man in the pickle suit trick me again!" he said, looking even more cross. "Nor even Jason, not even Alec Benson's Leary... try saying that five times fast with plurals."

"Alec Bensons Leary's, Alec Bensons Leary's, Alec Bensons Leary's, Alec Bensons Leary's, Alec Bensons Leary's," I said, with a smile. "Sure gives the tongue and jaw a workout."

"But how are we going to respond?" Sunny asked.

I smiled, and reached back into hammerspace where I kept my assorted things. "Lunchbox, maybe not. Ice cream machine, possibly less so. Ooh! How about this?" I pulled out what looked to be a small cannon linked up to some wires.

Sunny looked very surprised. "Is that what I think it is?" she said.

"Yep!" I said. "Porridge Gun. Bought it from a guy from Wigan who was replacing it with an updated model. Something about sheep chewing through the wires or something like that. But it could be handy if we ever want to use it to speed up breakfast!"

Just then, Chris interrupted. "WILL YOU STOP NATTERING AND LISTEN TO ME?!" he boomed.

"Ooh, somepony's got a temper," Sunny said mockingly.

"Somebody, as I am not in my alicorn form," Chris replied. "Well, hello there, everybody. I'd like to say it's nice to see you. But it isn't."

Zipp was next to speak. "What are you doing here, Chris?"

Chris seemed to have recovered from his earlier bout of nastiness, and was now smiling somewhat. The only emotion I could get off of him was smugness- sorry, cannot read Sparkle through a TV screen! "I arrived here with the help of the Nova Charm that an ally snuck into the prison. Getting things in through letters was absurdly easy- after all, who would send dangerous things to a madman?"

"Sorry, what?" Zipp asked again. Truth be told I was confused too. What's a Nova Charm?

Sunny tapped me. "I'll fill you in later."

"I didn't know you could read minds, Sunny!"

Chris then interrupted. "I wouldn't be surprised that you don't understand what I'm talking about, given your inferior intellect. But then again, I'm not too surprised the Rainbow Dash copy wouldn't understand anything. Nor any of you demons in disguise, sent on behalf of Babylon to conquer our world."

This seemed to annoy Pipp. "You take that back! Zipp had more talent in one hoof than you have in your whole body!"

"Given your creative process just consists of smashing random properties together and hoping nopony will notice."

Hitch, it seems, had struck the same raw nerve I had struck when I called him Ian, as he launched off into a rage. "MY WORKS ARE PARODIES! PARODIES! THAT MEANS THEY ARE LEGALLY DISTINCT! ROSECHU WEARS A DIFFERENT COLOURED DRESS TO AMY ROSE AND DOESN'T HAVE FOREHEAD SPINES! AND AMY ROSE DOESN'T HAVE A TAIL!"

I sighed inside. A parody still has to provide some commentary on the parent work, you know! Whilst the others talked amongst themselves, I spoke up. "What did we ever do to you, Chris?"

"You already know that, Diet Pinkie Pie. Your very world existing is an insult and a danger to the entire future of humanity. For it was your world being revealed to us that undermined the Dimensions and brought about the invasion."

As I was trying to restrain the urge to strangle him then and there, Sunny spoke up. "Such a self entitled sack of shit," she said. "Stop talking in riddles and say what you mean!"

So, Chris gave his dumb and nonsensical explanation of how he thinks G5 is Russian propaganda and that Make your Mark was made to legitimize the invasion of Ukraine. I was just utterly confused when he had finished talking. I mean, where in the world had he gotten that from? He seemed to just draw connections between wholly unrelated events to construct a crazy conspiracy theory. What was his thought process even supposed to be? It made no sense at all!"

After Chris was done threatening to kill us, there were bright flashing lights in the distance, and suddenly floating things started to appear in the sky. They looked oddly like flying dishes, and had a lot of windows.

Then one fired an energy beam that damaged some stuff.

The dimensions are a handy place for hiding those forces you want hidden," Chris said. "You see, I was testing your ingenuity, your skill, when I attacked in my walkers and mechs. Not to mention the dreamscape, though that seems not to have worked." He smiled. "Yes, Sunny, I sent those nightmares. Such a shame that the Ancient One kept interrupting them and interfering with my plans. If she just stopped resurrecting the ponies my life would be so much easier!"

And then he finally stopped delivering grandiose speeches. "Now, your world will be destroyed, scoured of life- and nobody can stop me. I really must thank you for your efforts in helping me do this. NOW GO, MY MINIONS! DROWN THEM IN THE FLAMES, THE CLEANSING BLUE FLAMES!"

These things began flying all over the place, scattering in lots of directions. It was clear he had a lot of them, and that they were going to do different things.

Suddenly, soldiers began reporting things in the air, attacking other things.

"Uhh, guys, what are we gonna do?" Misty asked.

I was wanting to know the same myself, but it seemed things weren't good at all! I looked at Sunny, and she seemed to be in a state of panic herself. But then I looked to Zipp, who seemed to be listening. As I watched, her face shifted from an expression of despair to one of hope.

We need to fight back," she said, striding forwards.

"How?" Hitch asked. "Where are we going to get the resources from to fight back? We've exhausted our own strength retaking Zephyr Heights!"

"It's better than doing nothing!" Zipp said. "Mom, any thoughts?"

I saw Queen Haven think for a moment, and then she had an idea. "We retook Zephyr Heights working together. Therefore, we need to do the same here!"

Of course! If we all got back together, we could stop them and retake our own world?

Ohh, there was the problem. How were we going to get the tribes to work together?

I looked out of the window in surprise, and saw all the chaos going on down below. I sat back and my heart sank.

Was this truly our darkest hour? Had we met our match in Chris? Could we stop him?

As I looked about, seeing all the discussion and the flashing screens, my attention was suddenly drawn back to the screens on which Chris had been moments ago. On them were three word.

DO NOT FEAR.

Was this some sort of cryptic message, and if so, what could it mean?

I hoped I would find out the answers soon out there, or else I'd need to move. After all, it seemed there was a lot to be scared of right now.

Author's Note

After a bit of a hiatus.... we are back for more of Rebirth of Magic, and of course.... some more of Izzy Moonbow! :3