Dicey had lost track of how long he’d been in the dungeons underneath Canterlot Castle. It didn’t particularly matter, anyway, since there was no hope of anypony ever letting him out of here. When Princess Luna – with great personal satisfaction – had thrown him in the dungeon, she’d said he could be released as soon as every mare he’d violated forgave him for what he’d done.

Fat chance of that ever happening. A few of them, maybe, but he was sure that some of them would never forgive him, no matter what.

There was a small window in his cell – such luxury! – through which he’d witnessed the sun rising again, mere hours after he’d been left down here to rot. And that had made it quite official that they didn’t need him anymore and wouldn't be crawling back to beg for his forgiveness and honor the rest of their deal.

But all that was a long time ago. The sun had risen and set hundreds of times since then. And still, here in his little cell he sat. They weren’t cruel, of course. The food was actually quite good, and they even allowed him to request books to read, which had become a pretty nice hobby.

The better hobby, though, was listening to gossip from any source he could get it, especially about the foals – his foals. Apparently, a shockingly high number of them bore a strong resemblance to Celestia herself for some reason. And, after blaming herself for what happened, Celestia had offered to adopt and raise any of the foals who were unwanted by their original mothers. Which, if the rumors he heard were true, was most of them.

“Hey Dicey, get this one!” It was the stallion in the cell to my left. Dicey couldn't see his neighbors, but he could hear them if they were loud. And Two-Bit’s favorite form of entertainment was coming up with terrible jokes for his very captive audience, unfortunately. “So the doctor gave me one year to live, right?” He was already giggling to himself a little. “So I killed him! Stabbed him right then and there! You … you wanna know why?”

Dicey didn’t respond, but somepony in the next cell over did. “Why’s that, Two-Bit?”

“Because then the judge gave me fifteen years!” He exploded into laughter over his own joke, far overshadowing the slight chuckle from the next cell over.

Dumb joke anyway. But was that pony really in here for killing someone? Didn’t seem fair. That was way worse than anything Dicey himself had done … right? He stared up through the window at the rising moon, remembering Luna … the mare he’d given his virginity to. He’d never heard whether she’d ended up getting pregnant or not, but he really hoped so.

He huffed a little laugh himself. These other guys wanted to crack wise, huh? Well how about this. “Hey!” he said loudly. “I’ve got one! You wanna know why the moon is so high in the sky?”

There wasn't any response. Not that he was expecting any.

Dicey went on anyway: “Because I knocked the moon up!” He laughed deep belly laughs, remembering those wonderful times. It felt so good to remember! “Get it?” He laughed again.

All he got back from the other cell was a confused, “Huh?”

Author's Note

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